Chapter Text
Kyoko was at a loss; she was exhausted, but more than that, she was hurting. Losing a friend always hurts, but when that friend teaches you how to live after your world crumbles, it feels like losing a family member.
Mami was her mentor; she was the backbone of the group. Mami taught her everything she knew; hell, she taught all of them everything they know, how to fight, when to retreat, and how to balance their home life with their duties. (Because it was his doodie! Haha... I'll be here all night)
Losing Mami had landed a blow to their group of Magical Girls. But just because she was gone didn't mean they could stop fighting witches. Mitakihara City still needed them to defeat witches and protect people. They hardly had time to grieve before heading out on another witch hunt.
It was a struggle, but they managed it. The witches were becoming harder and harder to defeat, and the stress and sadness from losing Mami left Kyoko grappling for an anchor. This anchor was Sayaka, who, in return, was there to comfort Kyoko and give her a place to belong again.
But when Sayaka learned the secret of the Soul Gem, she went mad. She stopped using grief seeds and became more reckless in fights. Kyoko tried to convince her to take better care of herself.
It didn't work, and now Sayaka was their foe. She had become what she wanted to destroy.
The battle was heart-wrenching; they were hurting physically, mentally, and emotionally. But how could they not? Sakaya was the second friend they lost in the last two weeks. They started with a group of five and were now down to three.
Kyoko was lost, back in the darkness that had almost engulfed her when her father killed her family. And this time, there was no Magical Girl with golden hair to save her. She was a ship sailing aimlessly, a ship that had no way to stop and was better off at the bottom of the sea.
If only she could have her anchor back, Kyoko had been the one to cut that anchor. She had delivered the final blow, killing Sayaka. If only Kyoko had been able to save Sayaka from herself.
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Kyoko sat in one of the rooms of her father's abandoned cathedral. It was one of the better-kept ones. She was focused on a Grief Seed in her hand. It was the one that came from Sayaka. Kyoko hadn't noticed that all Grief Seeds had a different design until she spent all her time looking at them. Each one was unique, with special metal designs, each telling the story of how the Magical Girl dies.
In hindsight, it was almost too obvious that Kyubey had tricked them. It was too good to be true. You get any wish you wanted granted, powers, and invulnerability. And all you have to do is defeat a few witches; really, it was fantastical. But just believable enough to trick countless girls.
Kyoko turned her eyes to the bed that held Sayaka's body and put the Grief Seed away. She got up, walked up to it, and pulled out her Soul Gem. She used it to keep Sayaka's body from rotting. Kyoko knew that Sayaka wasn't in this body, but she couldn't bring herself to get rid of it.
Sayaka's family had filed a missing persons report a while ago. Kyoko had seen and knew the least she could do was let Sayaka's body be discovered. Her family deserved some closure, and Sayaka deserved a proper burial.
But if she did that, all she would have left of Sayaka would be her Grief Seed. It was a constant reminder that she failed to save Sayaka; the Grief Seed became heavy in Kyoko's pocket. She pulled Sayaka's Grief Seed back out, once again trying to memorize the scenes engraved on the metal.
It had eight pictures. The first was Mami saving Sayaka. It was the moment when Sayaka learned about Magical Girls and how they saved people. When Sayaka met Mami, she wanted to be just like her. And when Sayaka was told by Kyubey that she was able to become a Magical Girl too, she was beyond excited.
The next being Sayaka's wish, Kyoko always chastised Sayaka for choosing to use her wish on Sayaka's childhood friend. It was foolish to use the wish on anyone but yourself. But Kyoko had also used her wish on someone else, so in that way, they were both foolish.
Kyoko smiled at the thought; they were more alike than she wanted to admit. She turned the Grief Seed. The third picture showed Sayaka's joy at being a part of a team of Magical Girls. The days when all five of them worked together to keep Mitakihara City safe. This picture had all of them celebrating after their first successful mission together.
It was a nice memory. Before that mission, Kyoko was extremely apprehensive about working with more Magical Girls than Mami. She and Sayaka had been arguing during the fight, but when danger encroached on Kyoko, Sayaka didn't hesitate to block the hit.
This was the first instance where Sayaka demonstrated her want to keep people safe, and the first time Kyoko could tell she had the power to back that want up. Kyoko didn't immediately feel like they were a team, but at the end of the battle, she knew she wanted to be a part of a team with Sayaka.
Her smile fell as she looked at the fourth picture, which showed the four Magical Girls looking in horror at Mami's headless body surrounded by flowers and vines. They had gotten careless, and that carelessness cost Mami her life. It was something Kyoko couldn't forgive herself for.
The fifth picture didn't lift her spirits much; it was split into three sections, each having Sayaka comforting the three remaining Magical Girls. Sayaka hugged Madoka while she cried. She braided Homura's hair while they talked. And she sat next to Kyoko, intertwining their hands while Kyoko rested her head on Sayaka's shoulder.
Kyoko missed the comfort Sayaka provided during that time. Sayaka's hand was always warm, but now, when Kyoko held Sayaka's hand, it was cold and stiff. She didn't like the feeling she got when she would caress Sayaka's hair, and no warmth emanated from her body. So Kyoko stuck to staring at Sayaka's body.
Kyoko wanted to put the Grief Seed away; the last three pictures were her least favorite. But she didn't know how much longer she could keep Sayaka's Grief Seed, so she continued to the sixth picture.
It depicted the moment Sayaka learned that her soul was trapped in her Soul Gem. That was the day that Sayaka lost her spark. She was already dealing with the loss of her friend and stepped up to be the glue that held the group together, keeping everyone from falling apart. But this was the straw that broke the camel's back.
She wasn't the same after that; she became obsessed with deleting witches from the city. Kyoko was sure that if Sayaka could, she'd try to exterminate witches from the world.
The seventh picture was the day Sayaka turned into a witch; it showed Kyoko standing before a large mermaid while holding Sayaka's body. At the time, Kyoko was confused. Kyoko had seen Sayaka's Soul Gem darken and seemingly disappear.
Kyoko had carried Sayaka out as quickly as she could. She called Madoka and Homura over to the train station and explained the situation. As they devised a plan to defeat the mermaid witch, Kyubey appeared and informed them that the witch was actually Sayaka.
That was when Kyoko understood the urge to destroy everything. Starting with Kyubey, she killed him over and over again for what felt like hours. But it didn't do anything; he just kept coming back.
The three girls started making a plan to try to bring Sayaka's consciousness back. It wasn't much, but they didn't want to waste too much time in case Sayaka started luring humans into her labyrinth.
It was a failure; they weren't able to bring her back to consciousness. Kyoko moved on to the final picture. She hated this one. It was the one that made this Grief Seed feel heavier every time she saw it. It was a picture of her using her giant spear to behead Sayaka's witch form.
It felt like a punch in the gut. She had defeated Sayaka in the same way that Mami had been killed. It was a scene that haunted her nightmares; she'd behead Sayaka's witch form only to be met with both Mami and Sayaka's headless corpses.
This was why Kyoko preferred not to sleep; it wasn't like sleep deprivation could kill her. The only ways she could die now were having her Soul Gem destroyed or being turned into a witch and being defeated.
Kyoko still killed witches; she still didn't want Mitakihara City to be destroyed. Kyoko looked at her Soul Gem; it was slightly murky. She pulled out another Grief Seed and put it up to her Soul Gem, but instead of the Grief Seed refreshing her Soul Gem, Kyoko's Soul Gem absorbed some of the negative energy.
Kyoko couldn't believe what she was seeing. The Grief Seed she was holding got ever so slightly lighter. It was still filled with negative energy, but the color of Kyoko's Soul Gem showed that it released some without turning back into a witch.
Kyoko was filled with hope for the first time in weeks. Maybe, just maybe, she could bring Sayaka back.
Soul Gems turned into Grief Seeds, meaning the Grief Seed Kyoko had might have Sayaka's consciousness. Kyoko could bring her back. Kyoko could have her "friend" (Sayakyo for the win!) back. She just needed to learn how.