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Life in the shelter was pretty good until Jaemin was around four months old.

He lived with his mother and all his siblings, and all they did was play all day. The benevolent hands from above would bring them food and water and toys, and Jaemin never had much on his mind beyond bothering his brothers and sisters.

Sometimes they were picked up to be poked and prodded, and Jaemin didn’t like that so much, nipping at the hands and trying to dash away from them. He never got very far, but it was fun all the same.

“You won’t get adopted if you behave like that,” his mother would say, but then she would go back to lying down and watching them play, so Jaemin was never too concerned about whatever that meant.

Then, around the time he turned two months old, things began to change.

One of his siblings was adopted. Jaemin didn’t really know what this meant, but a two-legger arrived, picked up his sibling, and he never saw her again. Whatever was going on, he knew he didn’t like it.

He also started having dreams for the first time.

The dreams were all the same. He was a giant in every one of them. From the perspective of the two-leggers who bring them food and water, he would navigate the world. Strange surroundings Jaemin had never seen before, but felt somehow familiar. Faces he didn’t know, but when he dreamed, he loved them.

That was how he got his name. Jaemin. He could often hear a voice saying it to him in these dreams.

By the time he was three months old, he had learned to communicate the way his mother could, her voice in his head and him finally able to respond. But by then, most of his siblings were gone. Finally, he could ask about ‘adoption’.

“It happens to all dogs,” his mother explained, swishing her white, curled tail. Jaemin wondered whether his tail would be as fluffy as that one day. “The two-leggers choose us and bring us into their home. They feed you and house you in return for companionship. You must stop nipping them, Jaemin, or none will take you in.”

There’s this face he keeps seeing in his dreams, of a beautiful man. In his dreams, Jaemin loves him. If he were to adopt Jaemin, Jaemin would be okay with that. He’s not sure about anyone else, though.

Things go downhill at four months because that is when he is moved into a larger room with lots of other dogs and cages, his least favourite things. His mother says her goodbyes, and Jaemin realises he is all alone.

There’s nothing for it. He simply must get adopted. Even if the two-legger that homes him is not satisfactory, once he is out of the shelter, he can always find someone like the man in his dreams.

So, at four months and one day old, he gets to work.

The two-leggers come in throughout the day, and peer in through the bars of their cages. All Jaemin has to do is look up at them, innocent, wanting, to have them coo and pause and consider whether their home could be his, too.

He’s a little offended when the first two-leggers pass him by for a bigger, lankier dog, but he gets over it quickly. There are plenty of other two-leggers out there, though he’s yet to see any like the beautiful man from his dreams.

More come in over the course of the day. Many are one man, one woman duos, and he often has better luck with the women. The smaller dogs are more popular than bigger dogs, which gives Jaemin an advantage, but some even come in and leave without a dog. What is the point? Jaemin would never waste time like this if he was two-legger with free roam of the world.

As the day wears on, he is passed over for bigger dogs, or smaller dogs that are younger than him, or for dogs that do tricks for the two-leggers when they come to the cage. Jaemin will not degrade himself like that. He is to be equal to his two-legger, not subservient! Using his best begging eyes is a power move over them, not submission.

The day gets darker through the windows, he starts to lose hope. Perhaps he wasted too many opportunities to get adopted as a pup, when the humans would get close and personal and play with them. Now, he’s stuck behind bars forever, until one of them takes pity on him.

He curls up and sighs as he’s passed over once again by a single woman who is cooing over EVERY cage in the shelter. The other dogs aren’t THAT good.

“I really don’t mind the breed or anything, I just want a friendly dog who will get along with Gia.”

“Aren’t most puppies friendly?”

“Yeah, but friendly in a cool way, you know? I need a dog who will play, but also knows when it’s time to chill. Gia is still a cat, after all, he gets bothered easily.”

“How can you tell something like that just by looking at them?”

Two men come into his line of sight. Jaemin doesn’t get his hopes up—the men who come to the shelter have no taste compared to the women, and are most often the ones responsible for him being passed over.

“You just have to greet them a little bit. Hello!”

One of the men bends down to wave in at the cage next to him. The other comes around, in front of Jaemin’s cage, with eyes as round and soft as if he were one of Jaemin’s siblings.

“Aw, look at this little guy! He’s so fluffy and sweet. He's a Maltese, right?”

Jaemin perks up at that, standing up on four paws to pad over to the cage door.

A second face appears, also bright-eyed and kind. “Aw, look at him! Hey buddy, what’s up? You wanna be my friend?”

Jaemin does a little jump and begins to wag his tail. No, a jump is not a trick, it’s simply responding to the question.

Both men go awwww at the same time, and Jaemin starts to feel good about this.

“Excuse me? Can I say hello to this little guy?”

His heart races. This hasn’t happened yet today. The second stage of meeting a two-legger, which he’s witnessed many times today, is to be placed into their hands.

“Of course, but I have to warn you, this one is a little feisty. He likes to bite and jump around.”

Jaemin scoffs. How dare this two-legger tarnish his chances of adoption! He wishes the two-leggers were advanced enough to communicate the way dogs do, so Jaemin could give her a piece of his mind.

“That’s alright, I like a little guy with a bit of personality. I have a cat who is sweet but sassy at home.”

The cage door is opened, and Jaemin is lifted out and into the hands of the second man, the one with the kind eyes.

Jaemin does his best not to nip, and the man cradles him to his chest like he’s one of those pup two-leggers.

Jaemin yips, and both men go awwww again. He feels rather proud about that.

“He’s not nipping,” the other guy says, coming in to pet Jaemin’s head. Oh, he hasn’t had that done to him often, and now he’s not wriggling around and dashing away, he has to say it feels pretty good. “I guess he likes you.”

“I think this is the one,” Jaemin’s new two-legger says, and Jaemin stands up on his hand paws for good measure, nuzzling into his neck. Take me home, take me home, get me out of this boring place!

“You don’t want to look at any others?”

“Why bother when I’m already attached? He’s perfect.”

So true. Jaemin is perfect.

“Sure, you’re right. Do you have a name in mind.”

“Hmmmmm. I don’t know, what do you think?”

“When I saw him, I immediately thought he looked like a snowball.”

“Oh my gosh. Snowball! That is a perfect name.”

“Really?”

“Mark, you were the perfect person to bring today, thank you!”

Mark laughs, and Jaemin’s two-legger continues petting his head, and Jaemin would start dashing around the room if he weren’t already in his arms. He’s about to get adopted!

They move into another room where the two-leggers talk about something uninteresting. He learns the name of his two-legger is Kim Mingyu, and that he’s coming home with him today (why Mingyu would ever want to wait another day is a mystery to him), and that there is an exchange of money involved in his adoption. Of course. Being blessed with Jaemin’s presence isn’t free.

He’s carried out of the shelter in a cage, so he can’t touch the outside world yet. But he does feel a difference when they step out of the door—the air is colder, and the area is so much wider. There are so many more different smells, sights and sounds, that Jaemin is rooted in place watching it all at the cage door, trying to adjust.

The strangest thing happens as they walk by an area of green. He has a moment where he sees one of his dreams again—but while he is awake. The images flash by as if they were memories, suddenly appearing in his mind.

He sees Mark’s face. In Jaemin’s memory-dream, he’s a two-legger again, so Mark’s face seems much more proportional to his body from this view. They stand together, talking about something, in a green area like this. There are other two-leggers nearby, and Jaemin is enjoying their company.

Then, the flashes are gone, and Jaemin’s cage is placed in a car. Mark and Mingyu exchange some words, and then Mark is gone.

He doesn’t know how he knows what a car is. He doesn’t know why he just saw Mark, but before, but different—where did that come from? What does it mean?

He’s on his own now, just him and Mingyu, and Mingyu will be no help in figuring this out. It’s time to explore the outside world, and learn where everything comes from—these faces, these dreams, even his name. Not Snowball, he’s not answering to that. Jaemin.

It all has to mean something.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin is impressed by his new two-legger’s home. It’s spacious, gives Jaemin more room to run around unlike that cage he was locked in at the shelter.

Hmph, he supposes he can understand why animals would want to be adopted by two-leggers. That doesn’t matter to him though, it’s not like he’ll be here for long. He is, after all, a dog on a mission. A mission to locate the beautiful man he keeps dreaming about.

“Okay Snowball, welcome to your new home!”

Jaemin stares up at Mingyu, who hasn’t stopped smiling since Jaemin first saw him. Jaemin hasn’t met a two-legger so smiley before.

The name Snowball makes him flick his tail in annoyance, and he turns around, walking away from Mingyu and the cage he was just released from. He hopes Mingyu will never bring that monstrosity out again, Jaemin felt unstable the whole time he was being carried in it and yipped a few times whenever Mingyu would accidentally jerk it too much, Mingyu did have the decency to let out a string of apologies to him at least. As he should.

Jaemin has to admit though, out of all the two-leggers that could have adopted Jaemin, he honestly thinks he was lucky it was Mingyu.

“Aw, damn.”

Jaemin’s ears perk up at the noise, he follows the sounds of Mingyu’s voice to see what the problem is. He sits in front of the entrance to a room with a large bed in the center of it, probably where his new two-legger sleeps. His tail wags behind him and he tilts his head as he watches Mingyu talk to someone, though nobody else is in the room. Jaemin catches sight of an object in Mingyu's hand, and he quickly realizes he’s on the phone. He doesn’t know how he knows what a phone is, but he does.

“I forgot to get Snowball a bed while we were out. The only bed I have is Gia’s and I don’t think he’ll appreciate sharing,” Mingyu chuckles.

Jaemin wonders who he’s talking to. Mark maybe? Jaemin thought he was only interested in the beautiful man from his dreams, but he can’t lie, Mark has piqued his interest. Only a little though, and mainly because he feels familiar in a way Jaemin can’t quite pinpoint.

“Do you think it’ll be ok if I run to the store real quick and buy one? Uh, no, I haven't introduced him to Gia yet. I don’t really want to leave them alone since I don’t know how they’ll get along…”

Mingyu spots Jaemin and his pouty frown turns into a bright smile. He waves at Jaemin. Silly human, Jaemin can’t wave back.

“You think I should put Gia in the bathroom and shut the door? You know a door won’t stop him, though...”

Jaemin doesn’t know who this Gia is, but upon sniffing around Mingyu’s room, he does catch a whiff of another scent. Not human, definitely animal.

“Oh, you’re right! I’ll do that, thanks Mark.”

Jaemin is in the middle of sniffing Mingyu’s bed, which has single strands of fur on it—Gia’s fur perhaps—when he’s suddenly picked up.

Jaemin yips as Mingyu holds him, telling him to put him down now! But Mingyu doesn’t understand him and continues to carry him until they’re in what appears to be a bathroom.

“Ok little guy, I’m just going to leave you in here for like, twenty minutes while I go to the store. I promise I won’t be long.”

Jaemin yips again and rushes towards the closing door, but it shuts in his face. Displeased, he begins to yip again and again, even pawing at the door. How dare that two-legger do this to him? Jaemin deserves his freedom!

To Mingyu’s credit he does sound genuinely apologetic.

“Sorry Snowball, I promise I’ll be right back, buddy! I really hope he doesn’t tear up my door too badly,” he hears Mingyu mutter. “My landlord will kill me.”

Just for that, Jaemin scratches at the door with more vigor, continuing to yip in annoyance. He continues to do so even when he hears a door shut and close a few minutes later, and Mingyu’s scent is no longer strong.

Jaemin can’t believe he just left him here! Jaemin begins to plot what he could do to get him back. Hide his socks? Maybe tear up his shoe? He’s never peed on a two-legger before, but some of his siblings did when they’d get spooked from being picked up, and the two-leggers never seemed to like it—maybe he could try that?

Jaemin’s revenge plan is halted when he hears the sound of something flicking. His ears perk up and he sits up straight, trying to locate where the noise is coming from.

That’s when he sees the door knob moving.

Jaemin stands up on all four legs, tail standing straight. Did Mingyu realize his error and come back to beg Jaemin for his forgiveness?

The door clicks, and nothing happens for a few moments—then slowly, with an eerie creak, the door opens.

Standing on the other side isn’t Mingyu but another animal, a cat to be exact.

Jaemin’s little body stiffens. He’s never been around a cat before, but he’s seen the felines a couple of times when the two-leggers would take him out of his cage for a bath. Oftentimes they would hiss at him as he was carried by their cages, and one time a cat tried to scratch him—which was so rude!

Jaemin decided then that he didn’t like cats, even if a part of him wanted to for some reason. Sure, they were cute and fluffy, but Jaemin knows they’re made of pure evil!

So, Jaemin gets into a combative stance and growls.

The feline however seems unaffected. He yawns, flicks his eyes in Jaemin’s direction, like he’s sizing Jaemin up, then he begins to groom his paw.

Not exactly what Jaemin was expecting.

Jaemin doesn’t let his guard down though, he lowers his chest so it’s on the floor and keeps his butt up, tail wagging vigorously behind him. He keeps his eyes trained on the feline, waiting for his next move.

The cat finishes cleaning his paw and then stretches. He turns around, but not before sending a look over his shoulder.

“Follow me.”

The cat begins to walk away before Jaemin can respond.

Jaemin tilts his head in confusion and then runs to catch up, “Hey! Wait for me!”

The cat stretches again in front of an object. He then looks up, assessing it, before climbing all the way to the top in smooth, fluid moments. Very elegant, Jaemin has to admit.

Jaemin stops in front of the object and studies it. It’s a cat tree, Jaemin recognizes it. Again, he’s not quite sure why he knows what it is, along with many other objects he sees in Mingyu’s apartment,  but he does.

The moment Jaemin places a paw on it, ready to attempt to climb it, the cat hisses.

“Don’t you dare, pup.”

Jaemin jumps away, the noise startling him. He meets the cat's eyes and finds him licking his paw again while also shooting sharp looks his way.

This must be Gia, Jaemin thinks. He’s the cat whose fur is all over Mingyu’s bed, and the animal his two-legger was referring to over the phone.

“I’m going to lay out some ground rules,” Gia says, sitting up straight, his tail flicking behind him. “This cat tree right here? This is my territory. I better not see you putting your stinky paws on it.”

Jaemin growls, his paws are clean! Not stinky!

“Same goes for anything else around the house, if it has my smell on it then it belongs to me.” Gia then sighs, “I can’t believe Mingyu brought home a pup of all things. Oh well, can’t be helped now.”

Jaemin is ready to talk, give Gia a bit of his own medicine and tell him he has very clean paws that were groomed before he left, but then Gia spins around in a circle a few times and curls into a ball. His back is to Jaemin now which is very rude.

“Hey, we’re not done talking,” Jaemin barks.

Gia sighs, but does not respond.

Jaemin lays down, he’ll wait here all day if he has to!

However, after about 10 minutes he grows bored and Gia hasn’t moved an inch. Do cats just sleep all day? Sounds pretty lame to Jaemin.

Jaemin decides to explore the apartment some more, avoiding anything that has Gia’s scent on it, like the toy mice scattered around the floor—not because he’s scared of the cat, but because he’s not going to be here for long anyway, so there’s no point messing with his stuff.

He decides to sleep next to the front door, laying down for a quick nap while he waits for Mingyu to come back. During his nap more visions pop up in his head, of the same man, beautiful smile and blonde hair, smiling and laughing as he looks directly at Jaemin. Jaemin wants to tell him he’s beautiful, but he can’t speak.

By the time Mingyu returns home and Jaemin is woken up by the sound of the door handle turning, Jaemin’s mission to return to the beautiful man he keeps seeing inside his dreams has been invigorated.

“Guess who’s home–whoa!”

Jaemin shoots out of the door as soon as it’s cracked enough for his tiny body to fit.

“S-Snowball? Wait!”

He hears Mingyu calling his name, but that doesn’t stop him from running. He runs down the bleak hallway as fast as his little legs can carry him, filled with adrenaline—however, it dies when he stumbles upon his first obstacle.

He comes to a screeching halt before he runs head first into an elevator. He yips, looking at the looming contraption in front of him without a clue how to open it.

He’s too tiny to reach the buttons!

Jaemin does a couple of pathetic jumps before giving up—if he’s going to find this mystery man, he’s going to need another plan.

“Snowball!”

Jaemin turns around in time to evade Mingyu’s hands which reach out to grab him. He dodges him again and is delighted when Mingyu falls onto the ground trying to catch him, a new kind of adrenaline running through his little body—it’s just like when he’d play tag with his siblings!

Jaemin lets out an excited yip and runs down the hallway with Mingyu tripping over his feet trying to chase him.

“Snowball!” Mingyu huffs, out of breath as he tries to keep up with Jaemin. Ha, he’s faster! “Buddy, now's not the time to play!”

Sadly, playtime comes to an end when Mingyu catches him, scolding him in a soft voice at first before giving up when Jaemin whimpers at him.

“Ah, you’re just too cute to be mad at,” Mingyu sighs, nuzzling Jaemin into his neck. Yes, Jaemin is indeed too cute to be mad at, he’s glad Mingyu understands this. “You have to be careful though buddy, you could get hurt out there in the big world.”

Jaemin’s a little embarrassed, especially when Gia, looking disgruntled after being awoken from his nap, stares at him with unhidden judgement in his eyes.

Ok, Jaemin may have gotten a bit carried away with playing when he was supposed to be on a mission, but he misses playing with his siblings! It was the most fun he had at the shelter.

“Ok, who’s hungry?”

Gia meows, stretching on the cat tower before jumping down it. He passes by Jaemin without sparing him a single glance and makes his way inside the kitchen. He sits patiently beside a bowl on the ground with his name on it.

Jaemin slowly follows, but he sits at the entrance to the kitchen, looking around for a second bowl but only finding a bowl filled with water. He lowers his head, why does this cat have a bowl with his name on it but he doesn’t?

“Oh stop pouting,” Gia says in amusement. “He’s going to feed you too pup.”

Jaemin does perk up at the mention of food.

“Alright, here’s some food for my precious Gia and my precious Snowball!”

Mingyu serves Gia first, which is fine Jaemin supposes, but then immediately sets a bowl in front of Jaemin. He even pats Jaemin’s head as he starts to dig in. Ha! Gia didn’t get a pet after being served. Jaemin even forgives Mingyu for saying that god awful name, he might have to get used to it whether he likes it or not.

“Now what am I going to eat?” Mingyu starts rummaging around in his fridge as Jaemin enjoys his food. It’s actually a lot better than the stuff he was given at the shelter, looks like Mingyu was a good choice afterall.

“Oh, I think I have some leftover keto kimbap.”

For some reason, Jaemin perks up at that name. He stops eating and stares as Mingyu takes out the keto kimbap. Jaemin walks over to him as Mingyu begins to dig into the meal and the smell penetrates his nose.

He has another vision, but this one is more detailed than the last.

In this vision, he sees the same man he’s been having visions of. But this vision is clearer, the man is eating the same food as Mingyu and smiling. He says something to Jaemin, and Jaemin really concentrates to try and figure out what he’s saying.

“Jaemin, this is so good. Thank you for making it for me.”

Jaemin is blinded by the bright smile the man in the dream gives him.

“You’re never going to get Mingyu to share his food if you beg like that. It’s all in the eyes, pup.”

“Huh?” Jaemin turns to look at Gia, who is now sitting beside him.

“Watch.”

Gia meows and stands up on her back paws so she can lightly tap Mingyu’s arm.

“Hm?” Mingyu looks down, mouth stuffed with food.

Jaemin watches closely. Gia meows again, looking at him with big, round eyes that sparkle.

Jaemin doesn’t think it’s going to work, he’s tried getting some of the two-leggers at his shelter to share their food before, but they either ignore him or swat him away. But much to Jaemin’s surprise, Mingyu laughs.

“Awww, you’re so cute. Do you want some of my food? Hm, I guess there’s some egg in here I can give you a piece of.”

Jaemin blinks dumbly at the display, that actually worked?

Gia swats him with his paw lightly.

“Your turn.”

When Mingyu bends down to give Gia a piece of the egg, Jaemin yips and tries to do the same eye trick Gia did, making his eyes big and round, and hopefully just as sparkly!

Mingyu breaks out into a big grin. “Aww! You too Snowball? Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

Jaemin can’t tell if their begging actually worked or if Mingyu is just this easy.

After they're done eating, Mingyu lays out Jaemin’s new bed beside Gia’s. Jaemin isn’t ecstatic about it, and neither is Gia, but it looks like they’re going to have to accept being neighbors.

As they settle into their beds, Mingyu temporarily gone to shower, Jaemin tells Gia about his visions.

“Ah, so that’s why you were frozen in place when Mingyu started eating. One of your memories came back.”

“Memories?” Jaemin asks curiously. “They’re not visions?”

Gia sighs, “Oh to be young again. No pup, they’re not visions, they’re memories from your previous life.”

“Oh.” Jaemin blinks, coming to terms with the new information. He has a previous life as a two-legger? So this means the boy he was seeing in his ‘visions’ and Mark, are people he knew in his previous life?

He rests his chin on his paw as he stares at Gia.

Gia pauses his licking to look at him.

“Ask your question.”

“How did you know I was going to ask a question?”

“Because you’re staring at me with those big puppy eyes. Now ask so I can take my evening nap.”

“Have you ever tried to find someone from your memories?”

Gia makes a disgruntled noise, “Leave it alone pup.”

“But why!” Jaemin complains. “What if they’re still out there somewhere!”

“Doesn’t matter,” Gia huffs. “They’ve moved on and so should you. There’s no way to go back to that life, and you found a nice life here. Mingyu is a good owner, he’ll take care of you.”

Jaemin isn’t happy with that answer. He pouts as he curls into a ball.

“Well, I still want to find the man from my memories.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Gia challenges.

Jaemin lifts his head, ears perking up when he thinks of an idea.

“You could teach me how to open doors.”

Gia laughs at him, and Jaemin feels a little insulted at how long he laughs for.

“Not happening, pup.” Gia yawns and curls himself into a ball. “Now go to bed and get these silly ideas out of your head. There’s no use chasing your past.”

Jaemin does fall asleep, though he’s more grumpy than he was before.

He cheers up, though, when the man from his memories appears in his dreams again.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin is still on the mission to find the beautiful man, truly. It’s just that he’s decided Mingyu’s apartment is going to be his base of operations, and he should take the time to properly settle into his new headquarters if he’s going to be staying here for the foreseeable future. It’s warm, comfortable, he’s fed more often than at the shelter, Mingyu plays with him often, and even Gia grows on him a little bit. It’s ideal for all his needs.

There’s also the fact that Jaemin needs to bide his time before his next move. Since Gia had revealed to him that his visions are in fact real memories, he realised his only tangible tie to the beautiful man of his dreams is Mark. He needs to wait until Mingyu and Mark hang out again, and then he can sneak away and… do something to find the man through Mark. He’ll cross that bridge when he gets to it, but anyway. Mark is the key.

In any case, Jaemin gets used to his new life, pestering Gia, leaping on Mingyu when he comes home from work, and learning all the best places to pee and sniff around for discarded food on their walks around the neighbourhood. There’s a large park not far from Mingyu’s apartment where they often meet other dogs and dog walkers. It soon becomes Jaemin’s favourite part of the day, especially when they stop to play and Mingyu gets really good at throwing the ball really, really far.

It’s after a few weeks of living with Mingyu that everything changes.

They’re out on a walk, as they are every evening. They stop at the park, like they do all the time. Mingyu throws the ball, and Jaemin runs for it.

Today, there is another, bigger dog running with him.

“Hey! This is my ball!” Jaemin yelps, but the other dog overtakes him in seconds.

This dog has white fur, like Jaemin, but it looks thicker and softer, and this dog must be around ten times his size. He looks friendly, tongue lolling out as he runs, eyes smiling as he wins the pursuit for the ball.

But it’s just not right! This is his ball, and he has to return it to Mingyu!

The big dog leaps to catch it, does a happy jump when he is victorious, and then begins to spin in a circle.

“Hey! Drop that ball! Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to take things that aren’t yours?”

He, for example, has done a good job of not touching anything of Gia’s in the apartment, after eyeing up the claws on the cat’s paws.

He bares his teeth to show his ferocity to the other dog, but he’s not sure the big dog can see them well from where he towers over Jaemin.

“Sorry! I couldn’t resist,” the big dog says, but he doesn’t drop the ball, just jumps from foot to foot.

“Yed!” a voice calls out over the park. “Get back here!”

“Yeah, Yed!” Jaemin says, then halts in place. “Wait…”

That voice… it’s so familiar.

Yed sets off dashing across the park, and Jaemin hastes to follow on his little legs. Yed gets back almost a full minute before he does, but he has his eyes trained on the figure Yed is running to the whole time. The sun is behind the two-leggers, obscuring his vision, but he looks like…

Could it really be?

“Drop it already! Silly boy—I’m so sorry, he seems to think every ball is for him…”

“That’s okay, he looks like a very happy pup!”

Yed’s two-legger is handing the ball back to Mingyu when Jaemin comes to a skidding stop, their figures touching as the sun glows golden behind them.

His face finally comes into Jaemin’s view in the dim light, and it’s like the whole world stops.

Renjun.

This is Renjun—his boyfriend of two years, his friend of five, the other half of his soul, the beautiful face that haunts him whenever he sleeps, and often when he’s awake too.

A hundred memories flit through his mind too fast to catch. They’ve been on holidays together, signed a lease together, have dozens of shared friends, raised cats, had hundreds of dates and outings and lazy evenings in together.

Jaemin is in love with him.

Jaemin barks as loud as can, dashing up to Renjun and jumping up at him. The Renjun he knows is small, smaller than him, but right now he’s so many times taller than Jaemin.

“Renjun! Renjun, it’s me!”

“You know Renjun?” Yed perks up.

Jaemin can’t believe Renjun found him by chance like this, crossed paths in the park on a random Tuesday. It’s because they’re fated. They’re soulmates. They’re in love forever and ever.

“Aw, and who is this little guy?”

Renjun squats down and begins to pat Jaemin’s head amongst his frantic jumps.

“Snowball!” Mingyu answers cheerily.

“Jaemin!” Jaemin yells, hoping against hope their soulmate bond pulls through.

“Wait, Jaemin?” Yed says, cocking his head.

“What a cutie!” Renjun says, and Jaemin flails, torn between the instinct to lick at Renjun’s face like a dog, or reach out to hold him like a man.

But Jaemin does not have the long arms to hold Renjun anymore. The most he can do is leap around and bark, and watch as Renjun’s face turns to a smile.

“Wow, he’s really taken to you! He’s a cheeky pup, I haven’t had him long, but he’s got a lot of life, hasn’t he? Snowball, hey, don’t be too crazy!”

Jaemin is pulled between disappointment that Renjun hasn’t recognised him in his reborn puppy form, and delight that he was able to make him smile. He can’t believe this is happening.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind. Yed is more of a calm cuddler, so I haven’t had crazy affection like this in a while. He reminds me of my boyfriend, in that way.”

“Yes!” Jaemin shouts. “That’s because I am your boyfriend!”

“Oh,” Yed says behind him. “Oh no…”

“Your boyfriend is like my crazy dog?” Mingyu asks, and Renjun’s smile fades away.

“He was. He passed away around ten months ago.”

Jaemin flops to the floor on his last jump, wobbling onto four paws. He looks up at Renjun, at the deep sadness in his eyes, reeling at the shock of hearing himself referred to as being gone. He’s not, he’s right here!

Renjun continues to pet Jaemin’s head, but slower.

Mingyu squats down next to them, reaching out to pet Yed’s head gently. “I’m so sorry. God, that’s awful. He must’ve been amazing if he was so lively like Snowball.”

The sparkle in Renjun’s eyes is clouded behind sorrow. “Yeah. He was… he wasn’t like anyone else. Sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all this on you, I don’t even know your name…”

“Mingyu.” He smiles, inclining his head politely.

“Renjun,” Renjun says. “Sorry again about the ball.”

“It’s not a problem at all. You can even throw it for them both, if you like. We could take turns, be more efficient.”

The smile slightly returns to Renjun’s face. “Yed will win every time.”

Mingyu shrugs. “It will teach Snowball some humility.”

“Hey!” Jaemin barks, but he’s all out of sorts to complain too much.

Somehow, in all his thoughts about a past life, about Renjun, about being reincarnated as a dog—he forgot the detail that being reborn means you have to die.

Jaemin is dead. Somehow, he died, and left Renjun alone.

“Alright,” Renjun says, and then he stands, and throws the ball as far as he can.

It’s not as far as Mingyu can usually throw, but even in his turmoil, Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to follow after it. HE will return it to Renjun, no matter what. Anything to see him smile again.

“That’s mine!” he yells, running with determination. “Back off!”

Unfortunately, determination is not enough to make him faster than a dog so much bigger than him. And Yed still doesn’t seem to have noticed his menacing teeth yet.

“Yay!” Yed shouts when he catches the ball, and begins to race back to Renjun.

“Stop! This is a matter of life or death!” Jaemin calls after him, but Yed only slows down enough for him to catch up.

“Let’s deliver it to Renjun together!”

“You don’t understand!” Jaemin says, but then Yed drops the ball at Renjun’s feet.

Renjun and Mingyu hardly notice. In the thirty seconds they’ve been gone, the two have somehow launched into a full conversation.

“And so we usually play on a Thursday at this club, it’s not really our gig or anything, but there are regulars who come every week and we always go out for food after—it’s really fun and everyone there is cool, so if you ever need to get out of the house on a Thursday, you’re welcome to come see us play—”

“I’ve got a friend who started writing music for a band, he’s been bugging me to come see them too. It’s just hard to get out sometimes, and he only picked it up since—well, since Jaemin died. They were close too, and Mark doesn’t know how to process his feelings if he’s not keeping busy…”

“Wait, Mark? Like, Mark Lee?”

Yed barks, and Mingyu absently picks the ball up.

“Yeah! Wait—is it your band…?”

Mingyu throws the ball. Jaemin is following after it before he can even think.

Jaemin doesn’t know how to process everything that’s going on. Renjun is back, but he doesn’t know Jaemin is here, that he isn’t dead, he’s alive! Just, no longer two-legged! And now, apparently, Mingyu and Renjun are going to hang out.

That’s good, because it’s more chance to be around Renjun, at least until he figures out what to do now that he’s found him again. Good, because if Renjun is grieving, it’s good for him to get out of the house and be with other people.

Bad, because Jaemin remembers Renjun. He remembers so much about Renjun. Including the look on Renjun’s face the rare times someone caught his eye.

Like right now, for example.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

A day has passed since Jaemin finally found the beautiful man—Renjun. Of course the moment he saw Renjun’s face his name entered his mind, like it was always there. He just needed something to lure it out from the recesses of his mind.

He found Renjun, his one goal since he woke up in this new form has been reached, however he has also learned something else.

He died and left Renjun alone.

And Renjun had looked so sad when he talked about Jaemin.

Not only did he leave Renjun, he left Mark behind too, and who knows how many other friends. Friends, parents—he doesn’t even want to think about that. The only person he’s had real memories of so far is Renjun, he doesn’t think he could handle it if he remembered his other loved ones.

However Renjun was his soulmate, he’s positive of it, so it makes sense Renjun would be the one he’s still reaching out to even in another life. They were thrown into each other's paths for a reason, back when they first met and even now. Their bond is strong and still pulling them together, they’re inseparable.

Jaemin gets excited at the thought. Even after reincarnation they’ve still managed to be reunited—but that excitement is quickly squashed when Jaemin remembers Renjun didn’t recognize him. And of course he didn’t, because Jaemin isn’t Jaemin anymore. He’s a dog named Snowball in a new life with a new purpose.

He’s Mingyu’s companion, not Renjun’s boyfriend.

And that is harder to accept than anything Jaemin has faced so far.

“Moping around like this is only going to continue to worry Mingyu.”

Jaemin doesn’t lift his head from where he’s laying, sprawled out on the floor with his chin resting atop his paws.

“Not right now Gia,” Jaemin sighs. He really doesn’t want to be lectured by the cat right now, especially about things he already knows.

Mingyu has been giving him worried looks and pets since this morning, when Jaemin refused to eat his breakfast. Mingyu assumed Jaemin didn’t like the brand of the food, so he tried something else, and then a third brand, but Jaemin never so much as licked the food. Before Jaemin knew it, Mingyu had gone to the store and bought every brand of dog food he found there, and was sitting next to Jaemin, giving him encouraging rubs as he tried to get Jaemin to eat.

Jaemin wasn’t feeling it though, not with the gaping hole he felt in his chest where his heart should be.

Right now they can hear Mingyu in his room, calling vets and researching what could be causing Jaemin to not eat.

Gia sits in front of him, his tail curling around his body as he gives the sternest look he’s given Jaemin thus far.

“I understand what you’re feeling, but the reality is you can never go back to your old life. I’m happy with the new life I have, and you should be too. Mingyu loves us and he takes good care of us, he doesn’t deserve having all this worry weighing down his shoulders just because you can’t accept this is how things are now.”

Gia’s words feel like a stab to his heart.

He lifts his head up to glare, a low growl leaving his throat. “Just because you gave up on your old life, doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on mine so easily.”

Gia raises his head high and turns around. Mingyu comes in and frowns at the two of them. Gia’s tail has puffed up in irritation while Jaemin is still letting out low growls. Mingyu scoops Gia up, soft voice asking ‘What’s going on between you two?’.

Before Gia is taken away, he says, “Sure looks like you’re giving up to me.”

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin thinks about Gia’s words all the way to the next day.

Mingyu takes Jaemin to the vet who checks on his vitals, only to conclude that Jaemin is perfectly healthy, but possibly depressed. The vet explains that might be the reason for Jaemin’s loss of appetite and activity.

Mingyu looks heart-stricken when he hears the news, and it makes Jaemin feel a little guilty, so he makes sure to eat a little food the vet feeds him before they leave—that at least makes Mingyu relax a bit.

He thinks some more about Gia’s words as they stop at a pet store on the way home.

Give up? Jaemin isn’t giving up! He would never give up. He’s just a little sad, ok? Can’t a dog be sad once in a while! He left the love of his life to live the life of a dog, he has a lot to be sad about!

Mingyu attaches his leash to his harness and then walks them towards the entrance. As they are walking, Mingyu suddenly halts and yanks Jaemin back by his leash. Jaemin lets out a surprised yelp when it happens, and then turns to glare at Mingyu, but Mingyu is also glaring at something.

A car flies by them, going way too fast for being in a parking lot, especially to a pet store!

Jaemin fixes his glare at the car instead with his owner. He yelps at the car, almost like he’s yelling ‘slow down!’

Mingyu crouches down and pats his head to calm him.

“I know boy, that was dangerous! We could have gotten hurt if I wasn’t paying attention.”

Jaemin huffs in agreement.

And then—a memory hits Jaemin.

It’s him, but human Jaemin, not dog Jaemin. It’s late at night and he just finished with work—no, it’s not night, it’s early in the morning, the sun just hasn’t risen yet. He was working all throughout the night and the early morning.

He never went home.

He’s crossing the street, but he’s not paying attention, because he’s on his phone texting someone. Someone important, he can feel it.

The memory ends with a flash of lights blinding him in the middle of the road and—that’s it. That’s how he died. He crossed the road after working all night and all morning, and got hit by a car.

He never even got to say goodbye to Renjun. He never even got to see his face one last time.

Mingyu says, “Let’s go, Snow,” and begins to walk them again, but Jaemin doesn’t move.

That’s really how he died? Because of a stupid mistake like that? Renjun wasn’t even the last person he saw before he… before he…

“Hey, buddy.” Mingyu picks him up. He kisses the top of his head and begins to walk with Jaemin in his arms. “Let’s head inside, I promise it’ll cheer you up.”

Jaemin is even sadder as they walk into the pet store and Mingyu sets him down so he can grab a cart.

Mingyu takes them up and down the treat and toy aisle, picking up items to allow Jaemin to inspect and then putting them in the cart depending on Jaemin’s reaction.

“Do you want this, Snowball? Hm? Or… how about a new bone?”

Jaemin has never much been into chewing on bones, so he turns his head and walks away. Mingyu sighs, but doesn’t give up, instead he picks up the next item for Jaemin to assess.

The longer they stay in the store, the deeper Mingyu’s frown becomes. They check out with a cart full of various toys and treats, Jaemin laying on the floor next to Mingyu’s feet as he waits for his owner to finish his business so they can go home. His tail doesn’t even wag behind him, it lays limply on the floor, just like him.

“Aww, what a cute dog! What’s their name?”

Mingyu beams at the cashier and pats Jaemin’s head.

“His name is Snowball!”

“What a cute name,” the lady says, a bright smile on her face as she leans over the counter to take a better look. Her smile falters slightly, “How is Snowball doing? He looks a little sad. Usually when owners take their dogs shopping here, they’re jumping up and down in excitement at all the new purchases!”

Mingyu and the lady share a light laugh. “Yeah, well I was kind of hoping that would be the case. He’s been sad the last few days and I’m trying to cheer him up.”

“I see. Well he’s lucky to have you as an owner! I can tell you care about him a lot, you’ll cheer him up in no time,” she reassures him.

Mingyu gives her a smile, but it’s weak and not full of the usual brightness Jaemin sees in it everyday—well except the last few days. “Thank you, I really hope so.”

On the way home, Mingyu stops at a fast food place. Jaemin doesn’t pay much mind to it, that is until Mingyu orders a ‘pup cup’. Jaemin lifts his head in interest when he hears that. He’s heard that name before, he just can’t remember where.

It doesn’t hit him until Mingyu offers the cup to him after parking the car, the aromas of something sweet and flavorful entering his nose—it’s whipped cream!

Jaemin licks at the cup in excitement, he hasn’t had something sweet since, well since he was human! Mingyu laughs brightly as Jaemin digs in. Once the cup is empty, Jaemin begins to lick at his nose to get the remains of the whipped cream off of it. Mingyu helps in the end, wiping a tiny bit of whipped cream away that Jaemin was unable to get.

“I hope that cheered you up a little, Snowball,” Mingyu says, voice full of adoration.

The crazy thing is, for just a moment, Jaemin actually forgot the reason he was so sad to begin with, so maybe it did.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin stops his moping when he can tell Mingyu is trying his best to cheer him up and encourage him to eat. Maybe the pup cup did a lot more to improve his mood than he thought, he did love sweets when he was human afterall—so other than Renjun, of course, it makes sense that would be the next thing to brighten his mood a little.

Gia seems happy when Jaemin starts to respond to Mingyu’s attempts to lift his spirits—playing rope tug with him and chowing down eagerly on the food Mingyu sets down for him, while Mingyu looks visibly relieved and happy Jaemin is eating again.

“I know you want to go back to your human,” Gia starts to say while they’re laying on the couch, next to a sleeping Mingyu as a movie plays on the tv. “And even though I don’t agree with it, I understand why you want to, but Mingyu isn’t so bad. He might not be able to fill that empty void you feel inside completely, but he can be another person you love and cherish and never want to leave.”

Jaemin doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, words churning around inside his head as he thinks of a response.

“Did you ever try to find your loved ones?”

Gia closes his eyes and appears to go back to sleep, so Jaemin puffs his cheek out and rests his chin in Mingyu’s lap as he pays attention to the movie again.

“I’ve come to see Mingyu as my new family,” Gia says, startling Jaemin. Jaemin’s eyes widen as he stares at the feline. “And it was all I needed once I did.”

“I see.”

Jaemin can respect that. Mingyu is a good human, a good pet owner—but Jaemin just isn’t ready to give up on Renjun.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin hasn’t seen Renjun in weeks and it’s driving him crazy!

Gia still won’t help him with his escape plan by teaching him how to open doors, so he’s left to mope in his new home while Mingyu goes out to see Renjun.

It’s extremely unfair!

Jaemin begins to sniff out Renjun’s scent on Mingyu whenever he comes home. He’d never forget the scent of Renjun. Renjun’s scent is something he has been craving since he reunited with him and was reminded of how nice his boyfriend smells. Sometimes he’ll smell Renjun’s favorite perfume on Mingyu, or the floral shampoo he uses, or—and this is Jaemin’s favorite—the smell of Jaemin’s body wash on him.

It made him happy at first, that Renjun was using his body wash despite him being gone, or so Renjun thinks at least—but it was quickly replaced by pain and sadness when he realized Renjun was using it because he misses Jaemin.

Jaemin feels a weird mix of jealousy, longing and gratefulness when he sees Mingyu come home after visiting or going out with Renjun, with a big, wide grin on his face. A part of him tells him it’s a good thing that Mingyu seems to be getting along great with Renjun. It means Renjun isn’t alone in his grief, he has someone who can make him smile, even a little, now that Jaemin is gone—but it doesn’t stop a pit of fear from forming in Jaemin’s stomach.

What if Renjun forgets Jaemin? What if Mingyu is his new replacement?

Mingyu already seems to be fitting into the life Jaemin used to live perfectly, like Jaemin’s existence was never significant, and Mingyu can easily swoop in and fill in the empty space he left behind. He’s friends with Mark, and now is going out with Jaemin’s boyfriend—what is next? Wearing Jaemin’s clothes? Mingyu might be a bit too big for that, actually.

Jealousy begins to grow stronger the longer he smells Renjun’s scent on Mingyu, or whenever he’s on the phone, talking to Mark. Jaemin begins to chew on his shoes as a form of payback, hoping to—well he’s not sure what he’s hoping to accomplish. Make Mingyu mad so he can prove he’s not fit for his friends maybe?

Mingyu immediately squashes that idea though. He doesn’t raise his voice when he finds the third torn up and bitten through shoe Jaemin got to—instead he frowns and throws it away. When he approaches Jaemin, it’s not with anger or disappointment—it’s with something akin to guilt.

“I’m sorry my precious Snowball, do you not have enough toys to play with? Do you need me to buy you more?” Mingyu coos at him in this pouty, sickenly sweet voice as his hands scratch Jaemin’s neck.

It’s kind of ridiculous that Jaemin can destroy Mingyu's stuff on purpose, yet Mingyu finds a way to blame himself for it. Jaemin tries to convince himself this is a reason he’s not fit for his Renjunnie, he needs to stand up for himself! If he can’t even do that, how does he expect Jaemin to believe that he can stand up for Renjun when he needs him? Another part of him tells him that this is a good thing though. Mingyu is not quick to anger, he’s able to take a step back and analyze the problem and come up with possible conclusions and solutions for said problem.

Jaemin still isn’t happy about it though.

Mingyu has already decided to leave to go buy Jaemin more toys, as if he doesn’t already have a chest full of them, and Jaemin barks at him.

Take me with you! So I can go find Renjun! Please!

Mingyu misinterprets Jaemin’s barking for not wanting to be separated from him.

“I’ll be quick, boy! And then we can play.”

After Mingyu is gone, leaving Jaemin to pout and mope at the door, he hears a phone ring. Jaemin’s head lifts as the ringing enters his ears. Did Mingyu not take his phone with him?

Jaemin follows the ringing to the coffee table in the living room, and sure enough, Mingyu’s phone is vibrating on the table. Jaemin lifts himself on his hind legs and places his front paws on the table, the phone now directly in front of him. He sees Mark’s name flash across the screen and nearly growls.

Mark used to call him.

The ringing stops and so does Jaemin’s urge to growl. As he sniffs the phone an idea forms in his head. He still has Renjun’s number mesmerized—he never believed in just saving a number to his phone and relying on it to keep the number safe. He wanted to mesmerize numbers, especially important numbers like his boyfriend's phone number, in case he was ever in an urgent situation and needed to call Renjun. Like right now.

It takes some weird manoeuvring and testing to see what part of his body can activate the touch screen on Mingyu’s phone—turns out his nose can, and very carefully, Jaemin begins to dial Renjun’s number using his snout.

It takes a few tries, but eventually he gets there. Renjun’s name flashes across the screen as it rings, and rings, and for a terrifying second, Jaemin worries Renjun won’t answer.

The call goes through though and Renjun’s voice fills the room.

“Hello? Mingyu?”

Jaemin begins to bark in excitement, it worked! He licks the screen in between barks, like it’s Renjun’s face he’s licking and not just his name on the screen.

“Snowball? Is that you?” Renjun’s laughter fills Jaemin’s ears, and it’s beautiful, his favorite sound in the whole wide world. He made Renjun laugh again, even in dog form he can still do that.

“Where’s Mingyu, Snowball?”

Renjun’s laughter never ceases, and it brightens Jaemin up immensely, but at the mention of Mingyu’s name, Jaemin whines. He doesn’t want to talk about that human right now! This is a moment for just Renjun and Jaemin, Mingyu isn’t welcomed!

Unfortunately for him, Mingyu decides that’s the right moment to return home.

“I’m home, Snowball, Gia!” Mingyu walks into the living room with bags in his hands, but he stops dead in his tracks when he sees Jaemin, who has begun to lick the screen of his phone again.

“Mingyu? Are you there?”

“I, um–what?” Mingyu drops the bags he was carrying onto the floor and begins to pat his pockets for his phone.

When he doesn’t find it, that’s when he approaches the table. He takes the phone away from Jaemin, who growls in response. Mingyu gives him a strange look, looking between Jaemin and the phone like he’s on some kind of dumbfounded loop. He wipes Jaemin’s drool away with the sleeve of his shirt, and then presses the phone to his ear.

“Hello?”

Shock falls onto Mingyu’s face when he realizes who it is, jaw dropping open as he stares at Jaemin, who is now staring at him grumpily. He can’t even hear Renjun’s voice now, only the faint sound of his voice on the other line.

“Uh, yeah, I’m here. Sorry, I–” Mingyu glances briefly at Jaemin, a curious expression on his face, before he shakes his head with a huff of laughter. “I must have called you on accident before leaving, sorry about that. Was Snowball keeping you company?”

Jaemin wants to walk away so he doesn’t have to witness Mingyu grinning so dumbly while talking with his boyfriend, but he just can’t get his paws to move. He hasn’t heard Renjun’s voice in weeks and he’s missed it so much, so if he has to suffer watching Renjun talk to another man just to hear his voice again, then so be it.

“Actually, this is kind of perfect. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I think this is a sign it’s time.”

Jaemin doesn’t like how that sounds at all.

“I’ve really enjoyed hanging out with you and just being around you.” Mingyu’s cheeks light up red as he takes a seat on the couch, and dread begins to fill Jaemin as he watches. “You’re so… fun to be around, I’m always excited when I get to see you. And whenever we’re apart, all I can think about is the next time I get to see you again.”

What Mingyu is describing is exactly how Jaemin felt — feels — around Renjun.

“I know you just lost someone you loved, and I don’t want you to think I’m using this as some kind of opportunity to take his place while you’re vulnerable. You don’t have to say yes, heck you don’t even have to answer my question. You know I’ll always be here for you no matter what your answer is, I just have these feelings for you that feel like they’re threatening to burst out of my chest, and if I don’t get them out soon then I worry I might never.”

Oh no.

“Renjun, will you be my boyfriend?”

Jaemin feels his whole world crashing around him. It’s worse than when he discovered he was reincarnated, worse than when he realized he’ll never be able to be with Renjun the same way again.

Jaemin waits with bated breath for Renjun’s response, staring unblinking at Mingyu’s face in order to gauge what Renjunn’s answer is. A large part of him hopes Renjun says no, while another part of him scolds him for being so selfish and not allowing his boyfriend to move on.

Mingyu smiles, the same big and bright one he saw on his face the day Mingyu brought Jaemin home for the first time.

Renjun said yes.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

“Snowball! Walkies!”

Jaemin leaps up from where he was people-watching at the window. He was just thinking about how envious he was of all of them, on their daily walks—Mingyu has perfect timing.

“We’re going to meet Renjun and Yed again! Are you excited?”

Jaemin dashes over to the door as fast as his little legs will take him, yipping all the way. It’s been approximately a million years since he last saw Renjun, and he needs to hear his voice again. Even if Renjun doesn’t know who he is, even if the Jaemin he knows is gone, he has to admit it’s a blessing to be able to see Renjun again like this. He’ll take anything he can get.

Mingyu laughs at how excitable he is, and Jaemin tries to stifle his fury. He doesn’t want to hear anything Mingyu has to say to him right now, that sneaky boyfriend stealer!

It’s the perfect evening for a dog walking date, at least, even if this should be him and Renjun on said date. Nevermind that they never had a dog while Jaemin was alive. They owned cats, he remembers suddenly—how strange for him to end up as a dog after being a cat lover his whole life.

That’s something he’s been thinking about lately, too—Yed. Where did he come from? Some kind of lifeline after Jaemin’s sudden death, maybe?

It’s not something he likes to think about, Renjun replacing him with a dog. But he was the one who left Renjun alone, after all. If Yed is someone that helped Renjun through the grief, he’s glad for it. He’ll have to try and get to know him a bit better when Renjun arrives.

They arrive at a bench by the river first, and Mingyu sits, waiting for Renjun to arrive while admiring the view. Jaemin is too keyed up to sit—he does loops around Mingyu’s feet, jumps up and down onto the bench, and strains against the leash to see if he can spot Renjun approaching first.

After a short while, he catches sight of him. Little Renjun with his huge white dog.

Jaemin starts barking madly, jumping up and down in place.

“Renjun!” Mingyu calls, waving him over before bending down to stroke Jaemin’s fur. “You remember them, right boy?”

Remember them? He couldn’t think about anything else these past few weeks.

“Hi,” Renjun says sweetly when he approaches, and he already seems so much happier than the last time Jaemin saw him.

“Hi. You look nice,” Mingyu says, and leans in to kiss him chastely.

Jaemin’s excitement deflates in a second. It’s not that he’d forgotten Renjun and Mingyu are official boyfriends now—more that his excitement had overridden anything else.

He can’t help but be insanely jealous that his tall, admittedly handsome, sweet two-legger is in a relationship with his boyfriend who he still loves very much. Even if he is dead!

“Hello!” Yed says, and Jaemin backs up a little bit at the size of Yed towering over him. He seems friendly at least, but Jaemin can’t help but be jealous of him, too. He sees Renjun all the time.

“Hello,” he says, uncertainly. Renjun and Mingyu begin walking, so he and Yed naturally take up the position in front of them.

“You know, we didn’t get the chance to talk before, but I think we know each other,” Yed says, a little shyly. Shyly? This dog knew no humility last time they met.

“Yeah, you stole my ball,” Jaemin grouches.

“No, I mean, before that. When we were two leggers.”

Jaemin balks. “We what?”

“Yeah. In my past life I was Lee Jeno.”

Jaemin freezes. Now that he’s said that name, it’s like all the pieces come together.

Of course this is Lee Jeno. He even looks just the same.

“Jeno?” he exclaims. He feels like a bad friend for not even thinking of Jeno by this point.

They had met back when Jaemin was in college. Jeno had been terminally ill, and had through some foundation or another gained permission to use the studio at their university to create sculptures whenever he wanted. He knew he was dying, and wanted to make as much art as he could before he went. He was more of a friend of Renjun’s that Jaemin came to know whenever he visited Renjun in the studio—he admired what he was doing, and how committed he was to spending the last of his time creating as much as he could before he got too sick.

They’d attended his funeral together, though they’d felt out of place after only knowing Jeno for a few months.

“Remember me?” Jeno asks, though it’s obvious from his voice he’s pleased by Jaemin’s reaction.

“Of course!” Jaemin exclaims, leaping onto him, and it causes Mingyu to exclaim and pull his leash, worried they’re fighting. But he jumps about in glee still, suddenly overjoyed by this news. Sweet Jeno is the perfect person to accompany Renjun through grief—he knows what it’s like too, after all. “You ended up with Renjun, after all this time—that’s amazing, Jeno!”

Jeno pants happily. “He was always nice to me. I was so excited to get adopted by him when my last family couldn’t take me anymore. But sad to hear about why he was taking me.”

Jaemin’s energy subsides again. “Yeah. Hey, it was a shock to me too, to figure out I’d died. How—how has he been?”

Jeno hums uncertainly. “It’s been rough. For a while, he couldn’t eat much. Lots of other people were looking after him while grieving themselves. I just saw the tail end of it, when Mark convinced him to get a dog. Me!”

Jaemin chuckles. Seems like he has a lot to thank Mark for. “And how are you doing? I mean, you’ve had longer to get used to this than I have, but isn’t it weird to live such a different life while you still remember your old one?”

“Hmm,” Jeno says, sniffing a passing corn dog stand longingly. “No, it’s pretty good. I was always sick as a person, I couldn’t really do a lot of stuff I wanted to do. But I’m way healthier now, and I don’t have to worry about school or surgeries or how difficult it is to make a living as an artist. It’s way more fun to be a dog than a person, to be honest.”

“Don’t you feel like you’re missing out on the life you could’ve had?”

“I never believed I was going to make it to twenty. Waking up with a whole new life was everything I wanted. It’s different for you, the way you died. You thought you had so much more ahead of you.”

Renjun and Mingyu come to stop on one of the benches together, and Jaemin stands, watching the river, taking that in for a little while.

Jeno is right—a lot of his frustration is from his unfinished business. His relationship with Renjun, his happy life, was ended so quickly and unceremoniously. There was so much they were going to do together that will never happen now. While Jeno was given more freedom after death, Jaemin has had all his opportunities taken away. Wasted, by one stupid action.

After a while he clears his thoughts and tunes into Renjun and Mingyu’s conversation. This is what he was excited to come here for, after all—maybe hearing about Renjun moving on will help him move on too. Maybe.

He jumps up onto the bench to come over into Renjun’s lap, and Renjun exclaims softly, giggling when Jaemin looks up at him and wags his tail.

“He’s so cute,” Renjun says, his sweet smile usually only reserved for babies and cute animals directed at Jaemin. Right, because he is both of those things now.

“He likes you so much,” Mingyu coos, stroking between Jaemin’s ears as he settles comfortably in Renjun’s lap. “He’s been so hot and cold with me, I swear. Maybe his moods have just been part of adjusting to his new home.”

“It’s probably so confusing for a small puppy, right? Especially since he has to play nice with Gia, who owns your place.”

“He really does,” Mingyu laughs. “Was Yed like that when you got him?”

“No, I don’t think Yed has been anything other than happy around me. I got him when he was a bit older already, though. He knew more about the world than Snowball.”

“Not true,” Jaemin says, just to hear Jeno huff a laugh.

“How long have you had him?”

“Maybe eight months? Mark knew the owners, and that they were looking to rehome him. He thought it would be good for me to have a companion in the house after Jaemin died, and something to focus on, I guess. Some reason to keep going.”

Jaemin goes breathless at the statement. It’s hard to come to process his guilt over leaving Renjun behind with so much pain.

“I’m glad you had him, then,” Mingyu says, reaching out to hold Renjun’s hand. Renjun grasps his hand too, and Jaemin watches where their fingers intertwine. “You know, if you want to talk to me about Jaemin, I won’t mind at all. It’s okay if you don’t want to, but I don’t want you to hold back on account of me, you know? I’d like to hear about him.”

Renjun is quiet for a long moment. “It’s not that I’m avoiding speaking about him. I’ve done a lot of talking about him over the last year. To my therapist, my friends and family. There’s not much left to say.”

“That’s okay. I just wanted you to know that I’m okay with it, if you do want to talk.”

“Thank you,” Renjun says quietly. He’s still slowly stroking Jaemin’s fur. “I wish you could have met him. He would’ve liked you, and you would’ve liked him, I think.”

“I bet I would have,” Mingyu agrees. “From what I’ve heard from Mark, he was a funny guy.”

“Yeah. He was. You know, I think you nearly did meet, one time. I think we nearly met, in fact. You went to Mark’s big birthday thing last year, right?”

“Yeah, I did. Were you there?”

“No, but I was supposed to be. Jaemin and I were going to go together, but he… he had to stay late in the office. I didn’t want to go on my own. When he got back home, we had a big fight about how much he was working, and then neither of us wanted to go anywhere.” Renjun bites down on his lip, eyes a little shiny. “That was only a few weeks before he died. It felt like I hardly saw him that whole month, because he was busy with a project, and when I did see him, we just argued. I regret that the most, I think. The fact that things were bad between us, at the end. I wish we’d made some good memories together before he was gone.”

Renjun’s voice shakes, and Mingyu opens up his arms to beckon Renjun into his side.

Jaemin hops down so as not to get in the way.

Jeno doesn’t say anything, laying with his chin on the floor, watching Jaemin.

Jaemin remembers this, too. While his job is a far away memory now, he knows he was dedicated to it in his human life. Dedicated to getting promoted, bringing home a comfortable amount of money, setting up a life for him and Renjun.

A lot of good that is now. Too many nights of missing each other, of fighting over work hours, and one fatal mistake through his own carelessness and lack of sleep, and here they are. Jaemin’s one chance at a life with his beloved taken away, and replaced by Mingyu in less than a year.

He’s not mad at Renjun. Renjun was right all along, after all—he should’ve taken a weekend away with his boyfriend, should’ve made time for plans with their friends. Should’ve listened when Renjun said he felt neglected and alone, because now those are the only feelings he has left Renjun with.

“We had a lot of good times, though,” Renjun sniffs, and Jaemin finds himself lying on the floor now, too. “I don’t want you to think he was a bad guy—he wasn’t. We just wanted different things. I still always loved him. I’m still glad I got some time with him. It just hurts to know he’s not coming back, and we can’t ever make things right.”

Jaemin whines in his throat. Jeno flashes him sad eyes.

“It’s not a bad thing if it hurts,” Mingyu says softly. “That means you really loved him. I bet he knew that, even at the end.”

Jaemin lowers himself to lie alongside Jeno. His warmth provides little comfort to the wave of grief washing over him once again.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

Jaemin hasn’t been in the best head space since he’s heard, from Renjun’s own mouth, all of the struggles he’s gone through and regrets he has since Jaemin left him. His own regrets and selfishness eat away inside him, leaving him sad and curled in his dog bed most days.

Gia checks on him, and in order not to worry him or Mingyu, he still eats his dinner and goes on walks when his two-legger wants to.

But his heart isn’t in any of it.

“Renjun!”

Jaemin’s ears perk up when he hears Mingyu say the name of his past lover. He may be sad about the life he ruined and left behind, but he doesn’t think a scenario exists where having Renjun’s presence wouldn’t make him happier.

He leaves his comfortable dog bed to head in the direction of voices—Renjun’s voice to be exact, letting his smooth and honey-like voice guide his paws.

“I missed you,” Mingyu mumbles into Renjun’s neck, arms trapping Renjun in an airtight hug.

“You just saw me a few days ago. We just spoke on the phone this morning!”

Renjun smiles as he says it, even though he’s pretending Mingyu is being extra clingy for no real reason. It tickles Jaemin’s brain, because there were times in their past life where Jaemin did the exact same thing, uttered the same sentence and Renjun rolled his eyes like he wasn’t enjoying Jaemin being clingy after missing each other for only an hour.

“It was the longest hour of my life!” Jaemin pouted, giving his precious boyfriend puppy dog eyes. A fluffy tail curls around his ankle, and a warm, fluffy body bumps into Renjun and Jaemin’s ankles.

Renjun separates from Jaemin’s arms, and the only reason Jaemin doesn’t resist it is because Renjun scoops up their cat, Luna, immediately after.

“Well I sure hope the hour we were apart was worth it. How did the interview go?”

“I don’t think any amount of time without you is worth it, but I guess I’ll give this time a pass.” Jaemin kisses the top of Luna’s fluffy head, and then his boyfriend’s cheek, and then he smiles brightly. “I got the job.”

It was a time before he overworked himself to the brink of exhaustion, when Renjun celebrated his new job instead of despising it. Jaemin despised it too, deep down, but he thought it was what he had to do to give Renjun a comfortable life.

Jaemin follows Renjun closely as they head to the living room.

“Whoa—” Renjun nearly trips with how close Jaemin is to his feet. Renjun laughs as he gently steps around Jaemin. “Hey Snowball!”

Oops—Jaemin backs up a little to give Renjun some space. Looks like he still feels the same clinginess towards Renjun as he did when he was still human.

“You know,” Mingyu sits down on his couch, the spot beside him being filled by Renjun, and the spot beside Renjun being filled by Jaemin, “he really likes you. I think I’ve told you this before, but whenever you’re around, it’s like I don’t even exist.”

Jaemin crawls onto Renjun’s lap, who lets him. He hopes Renjun can feel Jaemin’s love as he lays on his lap—how sorry he is, how much he regrets what happened between them before he died. Jaemin licks Renjun’s hand as a sort of apology kiss that he hopes Renjun will understand, if not today then one day.

Jaemin feels a deep sense of pride when Renjun doesn’t push him away, instead he holds him gently like he’s something precious to hold and protect. It might be because Renjun is an animal lover at his core, but Jaemin hopes there’s something more there.

Jaemin can’t help but give Mingyu a smug look. Ha! Take that Mingyu. Even as a dog, Jaemin still has moves!

To Jaemin’s annoyance, Mingyu scoots closer until he and Renjun are side by side, pressed together, and begins to pet Jaemin as Renjun scratches under his chin.

For some reason it doesn’t feel like a victory anymore.

“Oh, I’m sure he loves you,” Renjun reassures him.

Jaemin, albeit reluctantly, can’t entirely argue against Renjun’s words—but he can confidently say he loves Renjun more than any other two-legger on this planet.

Mingyu tries to pet Jaemin, but Jaemin ducks his head. Right now it’s Renjun’s time to pet him, not Mingyu’s.

“He has a funny way of showing it,” Mingyu pouts as he sits back and observes instead.

“You’re his favorite person,” Renjun hums, continuing loving on Jaemin who basks in all of the attention.

Not true, Renjun is Jaemin’s favorite person. Mingyu is in the top 20, maybe 15, but certainly not number one.

Jaemin moves from his lap to in between Renjun and Mingyu, separating their bodies. He acts as a barrier, and yips at Renjun to continue petting him. He wishes Mingyu would leave, actually, to give them some alone time.

“Well, good news is if we ever do move in together in the future, at least our pets will like each other.”

Jaemin jumps up and barks.

“Whoa,” it startles Renjun, who begins to calm Jaemin down with head pats and kisses. It works, because it’s Renjun, so of course it works.

Jaemin sinks back down, feeling sulky. They just got together, so why is Mingyu bringing up moving in together!

Mingyu laughs, awkward yet endearing. “Sorry, that’s rushing it a bit. It was just a thought, I had a partner whose dog hated cats so moving in together was never an option.”

“No, you’re fine,” Renjun smiles at him, warm but also sad. “That is fast… but I have to admit, not being alone in my apartment would be nice. Yed is a big comfort, but it’s been hard having the bed to myself after… yeah.”

Jaemin’s barking doesn’t stop, whenever Mingyu begins to talk, Jaemin starts barking. Mingyu ends up removing him from the couch, with an apologetic kiss, since he’s unable to have a conversation with Renjun.

Jaemin is forced to watch from the floor with Gia by his side, as Mingyu and Renjun get even closer.

“Great plan,” Gia purrs, amused.

“Shut up,” Jaemin grumbles.

Jaemin is potty trained—he swears—but seeing Mingyu get so close to Renjun, while Jaemin is right here, still filled with so much love and adoration for Renjun, pushes him over the edge.

So he pees on Mingyu’s carpet.

Not his proudest moment.

Gia scoffs at him and walks away.

“Oh… Mingyu, I think Snowball had an accident.”

“What?”

Mingyu whips his head to look at the crime scene.

“Aw no, Snowball!”

Mingyu is never mad at him, so Jaemin stays in his spot, wagging his tail and with his tongue sticking out as they approach him.

“He’s too cute to be mad at,” Renjun coos. “Here, I’ll go grab some stuff so we can clean this up. Do you have any carpet cleaner for pet accidents?”

Mingyu shakes his head. “Ah, no. I don’t think so. I never thought I’d need that stuff.”

“It’s alright,” Renjun gives him a warm smile. “I can run to the store and grab some real quick.”

Mingyu nods his head. He says thank you and then lifts Renjun’s chin up gently and gives him a soft kiss, the corner of his lips lifting up into a smile as he does so.

Meanwhile Jaemin panics, watching the scene unfold before his very eyes.

Renjun, no! He barks, You’re not supposed to kiss him!

Mingyu turns his attention back to Jaemin as Renjun walks away, who feels a raging fire burning inside of himself.

“What has gotten into you, princess?”

Princess? Jaemin growls, where did that come from? First he kisses Jaemin’s boyfriend, then he calls Jaemin princess? The only people who have ever called him that were his friends, in his past life. Not only is Mingyu stealing everyone he once knew, but he’s also getting overly comfortable with Jaemin.

When Mingyu reaches down to pick Jaemin up, a wave of emotions crashes into him, and without even thinking, he gnashes his teeth in retaliation.

“Ow!”

Mingyu pulls back, cradling his hand against his chest. He observes it closely, and Jaemin sees what he thinks is—oh, blood? Did Jaemin do that?

“Snowball?” Mingyu looks at him in concern. “What—”

“Mingyu!” Renjun rushes to him, eyes locking on the way Mingyu is carefully holding his hand. “What happened? I heard you yell.”

Jaemin lowers his head in shame and fear. He didn’t—he doesn’t know what came over him. Did he really just hurt Mingyu? Jaemin has never lost his temper like that before, especially to the point where he lashed out. What’s wrong with him? Renjun would—he would hate to see what Jaemin has become, he knows it.

“I think Snowball got scared and bit me.”

Renjun’s eyes widen and he gasps. “Really?”

Jaemin flinches when Renjun’s wide, fearful eyes focus on him.

Renjun has never been scared of him before.

“That’s—Mingyu, why would he bite you?”

“I don’t know?” Mingyu mutters, frowning at Jaemin with sadness in his eyes. “Maybe I spooked him? He’s never been this aggressive before though…”

Renjun starts to guide Mingyu to the kitchen. “Let’s get your hand cleaned up. Maybe we should call the shelter about him?”

Jaemin freezes, his whole world crumbling around him. Call the shelter? Does that mean Mingyu is thinking about returning him?

Going back to the shelter means… it means no more Mingyu, or Renjun, or Gia. It also means no more Mark and Jeno—and he can’t go back. He just found the people he lost, he doesn’t want to lose them again. Not like this.

Mingyu responds, but Jaemin doesn’t hear him, the buzzing in his ears muffling any other sounds. He begins to run, eyes set on the front door, which is wide open. Renjun must have forgotten to close it.

Jaemin doesn’t blame him. He hurt Mingyu, so of course his kind and caring Renjun will drop everything to take care of him. That’s just the kind of person he is.

Jaemin doesn’t know if he can cry in this form, but he still feels his eyes sting.

Renjun probably hates him now, for hurting someone he cares about. And Mingyu? His two-legger definitely hates him now, how can he not?

Gia meows loudly as Jaemin runs out of the door and doesn’t look back.

The door to the stairs is cracked open, a wooden peg stopping it from closing, so Jaemin squeezes through the small space and runs and runs until he’s outside.

His mind is scrambled, he—he needs someone. The someone he used to go to when he felt like this, like he was falling and falling with no end in sight, was Renjun.

He can’t go to Renjun though, so instead his paws take him somewhere else, to the only other person Jaemin trusts enough and misses dearly.

He heads to Mark’s apartment like the route never left his mind. He just hopes Mark hasn’t moved away, leaving him behind like every other thing in his life.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

He scrabbles at Mark’s door, whining and barking and generally feeling sorry for himself.

The trip to Mark’s, while not being that far away in his human memory, felt like a very long and treacherous trip on his little legs. He had to dodge so many two-leggers, fight with so many stairs and locked doors (at least two!) and to top it all off, it had begun to rain a few minutes ago. Now he’s wet, cold, and worried that Mark isn’t even home to let him in.

Just as he’s about to give up, the door opens, and Jaemin almost falls over in surprise. Mark looks down on him, then looks around, clearly expecting Mingyu. But no, it’s Jaemin alone. Mingyu doesn’t like him any more, Renjun doesn’t need him, Jaemin doesn’t even want this stupid dog life.

He misses his old life that he so stupidly threw away.

“Snowball?” Mark says, and Jaemin runs inside between his feet.

Mark’s apartment has hardly changed since the last time he came. There are instruments tucked into every corner, knick-knacks and clutter on every shelf, but the whole place feels homey. It’s a bit different from Jaemin’s new perspective, at approximately a foot tall, and the takeout food smells linger stronger now.

“What are you doing here, boy? Where’s Mingyu?”

Jaemin attempts to leap up onto Mark’s sofa, and fails. He tries again, and Mark’s hands come up to help him the rest of the way.

He tucks himself into the corner of the couch, buried under the blanket Renjun always used to sit with when they’d visit.

It still smells of him.

Jaemin wants to cry.

“What’s up, buddy?” Mark asks softly, sitting beside him and gently scratching behind his ears. “Really, what the hell are you doing here?”

He pulls out his phone, and after a few seconds, puts it up to his ear. Mingyu’s tinny voice comes out of it.

“Hey, I’m sorry but this isn’t a good time, Snowball has just run out of the apartment and completely disappeared, Renjun and I are out looking for him…”

Mark looks over at Jaemin, somehow more perplexed than before. “Uhhh… so Snowball is at my apartment.”

“Wait—what? At your apartment? Right now?”

“Yeah, he literally just showed up at the door. Want me to come drop him off?”

“Oh, thank God. No, it’s okay, we’ll come get him. How the hell did he know the way to your house?”

“Beats me. That’s freaky, right?”

“We’re coming over now. See you soon.”

“Okay, see you.”

The call ends, and Jaemin lies there, wallowing in self-pity. Mark resumes scratching behind his ears, which is pretty nice, but other than that, everything is terrible.

Mingyu is going to send him back to the shelter. Renjun thinks he should go back to the shelter. He’s such a disaster that he doesn’t know how to act around the most important people in his life, the only ones that have shown him love, taken care of him, and given him this second chance.

As much as he hates it, it’s the only life he’s got. And he’s thrown it all away, again.

“What’s got you so mopey, boy?” Mark says quietly. “You remind me of Renjun, you know. For around… six months after we lost Jaemin? It felt like longer. He was like this, so sad all the time, not able to do stuff he liked. Lashing out at people. I was so worried for him then, that one day he would just give up on living. He can’t lose you too, you know? He’s already been through so much.”

Jaemin leans into Mark’s touch, heart squeezing in his chest.

“Sometimes your life changes, and it’s horrible and so much worse than before it changed, and you think things will never be as good again. You want it back, against all the odds. Maybe you miss your family from the shelter, right? But you can’t live in the shelter forever, as good as it was. You have to appreciate what you have now. Your new family. Mingyu loves you a lot, Snowball. Don’t throw that away because you want something back you can never have. Look at Renjun. He’s living his life again now. He’s loving again. Don’t run away from love just because it’s not exactly what you had before. That’s life—we can only go forwards, and make something good out of what we’ve got.”

The words make Jaemin’s chest ache. To have exactly what he’s feeling said out loud hits like a punch in the gut.

He’s already put all his friends through this kind of pain. It’s only right, he supposes, that now it’s dealt back to him.

They stay there for a little while. Jaemin lying motionless and miserable, Mark sat with him, comforting him. Trust Mark to even know what a dog needs to hear. Damn, no wonder he’s friends with everyone.

Then, Renjun and Mingyu’s scents approach. The sound of their voices down the corridor. A knock on the door.

Mark lets them in, and Jaemin prepares to meet his fate. A doggy cage, and a one-way trip to the shelter.

“Snowball!” Mingyu exclaims as he enters the living room, coming to sit next to him on the couch. “What happened, buddy! Why’d you freak out like that?”

Renjun comes to sit on the floor in front of Jaemin, giving him a view of Renjun’s whole face. He looks drawn and sad, and Jaemin hates that he did that to Renjun once again.

“Don’t run away from us again,” he says softly, and lifts Jaemin from the sofa into his lap to stroke his fur comfortingly.

Wait… he’s getting a second chance?

“What happened?” Mark asks.

“I don’t know, it was weird. He randomly peed on the carpet, and when we went to clean it up, he bit me, then ran out of the apartment. He was being kinda silly before, ducking away from my hand but cuddling up to Renjun, so maybe he was trying to play, and he got a bit over-excited?”

“We called the shelter to ask if there’s anything we should know about his history, and they just said he was very playful and lively as a puppy, that he would sometimes nip people if he was over-excited. We think it’s just that, and he panicked when he accidentally bit Mingyu too hard and saw blood. I don’t think he meant harm.”

“Such a silly boy,” Mingyu says softly, reaching down to pet his head.

Jaemin… Jaemin feels like he could cry. Again.

Despite all his mood swings, strange behaviour, and favouritism for Renjun despite everything Mingyu has given him—even hurting him and having them run around the city after him today…

Mingyu and Renjun still love him. And they don’t want to return him to the shelter.

Mark was right. He’s never getting back his old life now—and maybe that’s what this was about all along. Grieving for himself, trying to cling to something he can never get back. He’s no longer Renjun’s boyfriend. But if he can accept the new life he’s been given, this second chance, he can still spend his life with him.

Jaemin licks Mingyu’s fingers tentatively. He wants to say thank you. Thank you for a second chance at my second chance. Thank you for choosing me, for choosing Renjun and taking care of him.

Mingyu giggles, and his face breaks out into a relieved smile. Good enough.

“Seriously, what’s up with you these days, Snowball? Is it your puberty stage? Do I need to take you on more walks?”

Jaemin woofs, which seems to surprise both Mingyu and Renjun, but they relax a little at Jaemin’s change in attitude.

“I think that’s a yes.”

“Okay, Snowball, more walks it is. Maybe we can race you against Yed, that will tire you out.”

Jaemin turns around and places his paws against Renjun’s chest, straining up to try to lick his face.

Renjun laughs, and lets him, hands in his fur. Oh, hearing Renjun laugh is the best sound yet. He can do this every day if that’s all it takes to make him happy.

“Silly puppy,” Renjun says softly, and Jaemin preens, hearing his soft tone directed at him.

He barks again. Can we go home now?

“Let’s head back, get him something to eat. I bet you’re tired after all that running around the city today, right? Thanks for looking after him, Mark, let’s hang out properly sometime this week.”

Renjun stands with Jaemin in his arms.

No—with Snowball in his arms.

Maybe that name doesn’t sound so bad, after all.

“Let’s go home,” he says softly, and Jaemin curls up into his chest in agreement.

That’s always where he wants to be with Renjun. And now, with Mingyu, too.

⋆˚ 🐾˖°

The first anniversary of Jaemin’s death is here.

The only reason Jaemin knows this is because he heard Mingyu talking to Renjun over the phone a week ago, and listened to Mingyu's soft, low voice ask if Renjun wanted some company so he doesn’t have to spend such a painful day all alone.

That leads to the present, Mingyu knocking on Renjun’s door with Jaemin sitting patiently by his feet.

The door opens with a soft click, and Renjun pokes his head out. He smiles when he sees who it is, but it doesn’t distract from his swollen eyes.

“Hey, come in.”

Renjun lets them inside, and Mingyu goes in first followed by Jaemin. As they pass Renjun, Mingyu wraps him in a tight hug, gives him a kiss on the cheek, and whispers what has to be some heartfelt words into his ear because Renjun’s bottom lip begins to wobble before smoothing out into a genuine, and grateful smile.

When it’s Jaemin’s turn, he lifts himself onto his back legs and places his front paws onto Renjun’s thighs, as calmly as possible without throwing Renjun off balance—though he’s so tiny he doubts he even could—and yips.

Renjun smiles and kneels down, just what Jaemin was hoping for, and laughs when Jaemin begins to lap at his cheek.

“Snowball!” Mingyu chuckles and attempts to separate them, but Renjun stops him.

“It’s ok,” Renjun giggles, and the sounds only get Jaemin more excited, jumping up and down and licking him even harder. “I think this is exactly what I needed today. To feel loved.”

Jaemin wants that too, and although he can’t love Renjun the same way anymore, he can show his love in other ways. And besides, Renjun has Mingyu now. Whatever love Jaemin can’t give him anymore, he’s positive Mingyu will be able to provide it tenfold.

“Hi!”

Jeno approaches him after Jaemin is done eating Renjun’s face—figurately, not literally. He can tell Jeno is excited to see him because he can’t sit still, whenever he does manage to sit, he sits up again and spins in a circle, tail wagging fast beside him.

He’s holding back because he knows Jaemin is much tinier than him and doesn’t like playing rough. And he would be right, Jaemin doesn’t like playing rough, but seeing Jeno like this is cute, and Jaemin ends up breaking his resolve.

“Do you want to play—”

“Yes!”

Jeno ends up on top of him, pawing at him and licking his face.

Jaemin begins to laugh, the sound coming out as little yips.

“Ok, ok, but be gentle!”

“I’m happy they’re getting along,” Renjun says, voice filled with amusement.

“Are they playing or fighting?” Mingyu asks, squinting at the bundle of furballs rolling around the floor, unsure if he should intervene or not.

“Definitely playing. Yed isn’t even using as much force as he normally would so you don’t need to worry, he’s being gentle,” Renjun reassures him.

“Cool.” Mingyu smiles warmly at them. “So, have you spoken to Mark?”

“Yeah, he came over about an hour ago.”

“Jaemin!”

Jaemin is taken away from Mingyu and Renjun’s conversation by Jeno’s voice. He grimaces as he stands up, feeling how wet and sticky his fur is now after Jeno’s relentless attacks, and looks at Jeno. “What?”

“I want to show you something!” Jeno begins to bounce away, but stops to look behind him to see if Jaemin is following him.

Jaemin sighs and does, “Ok, wait for me!”

Jeno leads him into Renjun’s room. Jaemin enters with hesitant steps, like he shouldn’t be here. The room is different, because of course it is. He doesn’t blame Renjun for moving after his death, Jaemin would have done the same if he were in his shoes.

It’s different, a sad nostalgic feeling filling up his chest as he looks at all of Renjun’s things scattered around the room. Once upon a time, Jaemin’s things used to be mixed with Renjun’s, but that’s no longer the case.

Jaemin stops when he sees a photo on Renjun’s dresser. It’s of them, when Jaemin was still alive. They’re smiling at the camera, Jaemin’s arm thrown over Renjun’s shoulder and his lips pressed against his cheek. He looks like he doesn’t want to let go.

It’s unfortunate that he had to.

His eyes are taken away from the photo, drawn to another one. This one is taped to the corner of a mirror, and it’s of him and Mingyu instead. There’s no frame, it looks like a photo they took in one of those photobooths with cheap quality. Renjun looks happy in it, and Mingyu does too.

Instead of being filled with a deep sadness and bitterness that he can no longer go back to his old life, Jaemin surprisingly feels light. Renjun hasn’t forgotten him, and neither has Mark. He doesn't think there will ever be a day they forget about him, however they will move on with their lives, meet new people and learn to be happy again after experiencing heartbreak.

That’s what Mingyu is to Renjun, his second chance at happiness.

And that makes Jaemin happy.

“Jaemin, look! Aren’t these your old things?”

Jaemin blinks out of his thoughts and looks at what Jeno is referring to.

“Oh, are those my old clothes?”

Jaemin approaches an old pair of shoes and a hat that are strangely familiar. He knows they’re his, Renjun wouldn’t wear this hat and his feet are too tiny for these shoes.

Jeno sniffs the hat. “It smells like you.”

“How can you recognize my smell? You weren’t a dog when we met,” Jaemin chuckles.

“Hey, I had a good sense of smell when I was human!”

“Sure,” Jaemin says fondly.

“Try them on,” Jeno nudges the shoes towards Jaemin.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” Jeno goes quiet as he thinks. After a moment, he yips. “It’ll be cute! Here, I’ll put the hat on you.”

So Jaemin steps into the shoes and then Jeno bites the corner of the hat and puts it on his head.

“So, how do I look?” Jaemin tries his best to pose, but posing is very different when you have short legs attached to paws instead of feet.

Jeno yips. “Adorable!”

“What’s going on here—oh.”

Renjun stops in the doorway when he sees Jaemin.

Jaemin’s heart nearly stops. Maybe putting on his old clothes wasn’t such a good idea on the day of his death anniversary.

Renjun doesn’t say anything as he stares at Jaemin, head tilted to the side.

For a moment, Jaemin wonders if he recognizes Snowball for who he really is—Jaemin, his ex lover.

But those thoughts are broken when Renjun begins to laugh.

Mingyu is drawn by the sound of his boyfriend's laughter, and finds Jaemin as well, dressed in human clothes. “Snowball! You’re such a silly dog, I swear.” He laughs as well, seeing Renjun laughing so much at Jaemin.

“He’s cute,” Renjun says, breathless as he wipes a stray tear from his eye. Jaemin isn't sure if the tear fell because of laughter or something else. “I’m so happy you guys are here with me.”

“We’ll always be here for you,” Mingyu says, placing a warm hand on his shoulder.

After the fiasco in the bedroom, they all get into Mingyu’s car and head to the cemetery.

“Are you ok?”

They’re walking down the well taken care path to his grave. Jeno is matching his steps, even though he’s much bigger and usually out paces him.

Jaemin looks at the view in front of him, of Mingyu and Renjun side by side, Mingyu with a loving hand on his waist as Renjun clutches a tissue in his hand.

Jeno looks at him worriedly while Jaemin is silent, but Jaemin reassures him by bumping into him with his head.

“I’m ok, I feel good actually. I can’t take care of Renjun the same way I used to, but Mingyu can. I need to move on, and I think I can do that knowing Renjun has Mingyu.”

They arrive at Jaemin’s grave, with a lot of fresh flowers surrounding it. It seems like Jaemin left a lot of people who loved him behind.

Renjun kneels down, and Mingyu hands him the fresh flowers to add to them.

Mingyu kneels down when he realizes Renjun doesn’t plan on standing up again. Renjun frowns as he fusses with the flowers, making sure they’re just right, but Jaemin knows that’s his way of distracting himself from the pain of everything.

Instead of stopping him, Mingyu helps him adjust everything to his liking.

“Perfect?” Mingyu asks.

Renjun’s eyes begin to water, but he swallows and blinks them away. “Yeah.”

Mingyu stands up and offers him his hand, helping Renjun up.

“I know I can’t replace him,” Mingyu says, eyes shining with unshed tears, “but I promise I’ll be here for you, no matter what you need. I’ll come here with you every year, or every weekend. Whatever you need, I’ll be here for you.”

The tears finally fall from Renjun’s eyes, and he launches into Mingyu’s arms, face squished in his chest and a muffled, “Thank you,” coming from his lips.

Jaemin watches, heart feeling warm.

Renjun is in good hands.

“Jaemin!”

Jaemin startles as Jeno barks right in his ear.

“Huh?” Jaemin turns to him, but is suddenly attacked by Jeno’s wet tongue.

“I’ll be here for you too! We’ll have each other.”

Jaemin laughs as Jeno continues his attack with his tongue.

“That makes me happy, Jeno.” He means it. The words fall out of his mouth easily.

He still has Renjun in his life, and Mark, even if it’s not how it used to be. And now he has Mingyu and Jeno, and even Gia.

His life has changed, and it may never be the same again. But that’s okay. He thinks he can enjoy his new dog life surrounded by these people he loves endlessly.