Archive of Our Own

When him and his sister got rescued from the slums, Ryuunosuke thought they would each have better lives.

He was half right.

On one hand, his sister Gin got a good life that she deserves, with a mentor who likes her and gives her excellent treatment.

On the other hand, he himself got an ever worse life.

He has a mentor that hates him (even though it's the same "kind" mentor that his sister has) and constantly leaves him on the border of life and death.

Gin went through tough training, leaving her exhausted every day for a month or two until she got used to it.

But even still, she was spoiled by Dazai.

She'd receive beautiful clothes, candy bars that she's never had before but Dazai thought she'd like, and sometimes even just huge stacks of cash!

Ryuunosuke went through hell, he was exhausted everyday, and he never got used to it until Dazai left the Port Mafia.

He rarely received gifts from Dazai.

Mostly punishments.

His "gifts" were being able to live to see the next day.

So, naturally, he would feel some resentment for his sister.

But he never did.

He was never mad at his sister.

He should be pissed, though.

He should cry and scream at her!

But she has no idea that he's being treated so unfairly, for he has been lying to her.

He's been lying every day since they were first brought into the Mafia, and Gin still has no idea.

He only asked a question!

A small, simple question that Dazai could've easily answered.

Sure, it was a stupid question, but Ryuunosuke was never able to get an education, so he has a good excuse for wanting to know.

"Mr. Dazai-san, sir. . . W-What does this word mean?"

He had pointed to a word in his book, and Dazai didn't even look at the word before pulling out his gun and shooting Ryuunosuke twice in his left leg.

Naturally, the little boy began to sob, for it hurt very terribly.

Because of his crying, he was subject to a beating.

Because of a question.

And when Ryuunosuke was one punch away from death, Dazai left him on the floor to heal himself.

Like a cruel, cruel man would do.

And the fourteen-year-old boy was left bleeding out on the floor, believing he deserved it.

But not crying.

He knows never to cry now.

Crying is a weakness, and he will be killed if he ever cries in front of Dazai ever again.

And Dazai doesn't appear to be around right now, but what if it's a test?

Yes. . . It has to be a test!

He's testing Ryuunosuke on his ability to pretend not to be as injured as he is!

So he weakly gets up, after a few attempts, and if he thought that was bad. . .

Well, now he has to walk back to his room.

That's twenty minutes away.

He can cry once he gets home, because Dazai will not enter after him.

So he limps his way home, a twenty minute walk turns into an hour and a half, and he finally makes it home.

Shutting the door, he immediately collapses onto the ground and breaks into sobs.

It hurt so bad.

He thinks his ribs are broken.

His foot is definitely broken.

He coughed up blood earlier.

He can barely breathe.

And broken fingers are just the cherry on top!

There's no way he'll recover in time for his next training session with Dazai. . .

At that thought, Ryuunosuke becomes terrified and sobs even harder.

'If this is because of a question. . . What will he do to me for not completing a training session?!' Akutagawa thinks to himself, making his heart race in pure terror.

He can't even treat his wounds. . .

And the only person he knows that will treat his wounds is his sister, who isn't home right now.

He reaches for his phone to call her, and that's when he realizes he left it in Dazai's office.

So he gives up.

He'll just let himself die here, death will be a million times better than living anyways.

There isn't much he can do anyways, he doesn't think he can get back up again.

Ryuunosuke knows that if he closes his eyes at this moment, that he may never wake up ever again.

And so he closes his eyes, dreaming of waking up in a better place.

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.

.

Well. . . He got his wish, he woke up in a better place.

But that's not quite what he meant.

He wanted to die, not be saved by Gin just to most likely die tomorrow at the hands of his mentor.

But it'll be okay.

He can have one last memory with his favorite person before death.

He hears a quiet, relieved voice saying, "Ryuu! Thank goodness you're awake, I was so worried about you when I got back."

Knowing she was worried about him makes him feel a little guilty for wishing he was dead.

That would be unfair to Gin, who only has him and Dazai right now. . .

"I'm sorry. . ."

He sees her frown when he speaks, most likely at his raspy voice, full of sorrow and guilt.

"Ryuu, what happened? The only thing I know of you doing today was visiting Dazai-san. . . Don't tell me-"

He cuts his sister off before she finds out the truth, "No, no, no! I was sent to do a dangerous task, and I made a mistake. It wasn't Dazai-san- In fact, he helped me get home. He couldn't treat my wounds though, since he's a very busy man."

He wasn't lying about the last part.

Dazai is a busy man, but he definitely lied about everything else.

Gin admires Dazai very much.

She is forever grateful for Dazai saving the two from the slums, and for the amazing treatment she's received from him.

Ryuunosuke could never tell his sister the truth.

It would crush her.

It's better for one of them to be happy instead of neither.

Distantly, he hears her sigh, and he turns to look at her.

She's grabbing a first aid kit.

Oh.

Right, she's treating his wounds.

He wants to tell her, "Stop. There's no need. There is no point in healing me just for me to die again tomorrow."

But he can't.

So he lets his sister unnecessarily treat his wounds.

"You need to be more careful on missions, Ryuu. . . I'm surprised you're even alive right now! I'll need to thank Dazai-san for saving you, I'm so grateful for him. . . If you were to die, I'd never get over it."

He wants to let out a bitter laugh!

He wants to cry!

"Dazai-san" in the context of saving Ryuunosuke?

Ha! 

He's never heard something so ironic!

But he keeps his mouth shut while she tends to his wounds, only letting out hisses and whines here and there at the pain.

Eventually, after what feels like hours of them talking about Dazai-san being a "hero" and Ryuunosuke's fake mission, she finishes.

Gin helps her brother to their shared room, and helps him lay in bed.

She's about to leave when she remembers something.

"Oh, Ryuunosuke! I have to show you what Dazai-san bought me today! It's so pretty. . ."

She rushes off to go grab whatever it is she's talking about, and comes back with a gorgeous dress.

"I love it a lot! I'm a bit scared to wear it, it was so expensive, I'm scared to ruin it!"

He should feel bitter, he should feel angry, he should feel resentment.

He should not feel happy for his sister.

But he does.

She's finally getting the treatment that she's always deserved.

So instead of hurting her feelings like he would've done had it been literally anyone else, he replies, "I'm happy for you! Dazai-san is always so nice to us, when did he get it for you?"

She puts a hand on her chin, raises an eyebrow, and makes a humming sound for a second while thinking.

After a second or two, she pipes up with, "It must've been when he arrived back from taking you home. . . Since it was maybe only two hours after you went to go see him."

It takes everything inside of him to not start crying.

If Ryuunosuke was kinder, like his sister, would Dazai not hate him so much?

How come Gin gets treated like a princess, but he gets treated like a monster?

Don't get him wrong, he thinks Gin deserves it, but he wishes Dazai would like him, too. . .

Instead of calling him unworthy, and absolutely rocking his shit.

But instead, he gives Gin a wide smile, and tells her that she'll look great in it, even if she does mess it up.

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.

.

He didn't sleep well that night.

He didn't sleep at all, actually.

Ryuunosuke was too busy silently sobbing to himself.

That was the night where Ryuunosuke decided that he absolutely must get Dazai's approval.

It was a few months after that night when Ryuunosuke heard about Nakahara Chuuya for the first time.

Gin was talking about this cute girl in her group named Higuchi, and how she hopes that they'll go on a date soon.

"Her hair is such a pretty shade of yellow, it complements her pretty brown eyes super well. . . Do you think she'll agree to hang out with me after work?"

He wishes he was able to say yes, but he couldn't.

They're in the Mafia, and who in their right minds date in the Mafia?!

They'll be living with the constant knowledge that their partner may die any day now, or that they'll die and leave their partner behind!

He doesn't want Gin dying or crying about that Higuchi girl dying.

So he tells Gin, careful not to be too harsh, "I don't think so. It's not wise to make relationships in the Mafia. I heard rumors about Kouyou-san in the past that didn't end too well."

Gin giggles a little, and Ryuunosuke is very confused, so he asks her, "What's so funny? It's true, nobody really dates in the Mafia anymore!"

To that, she giggles harder.

And looking up at Ryuunosuke's confused a somewhat annoyed face, she stops her giggling and begins explaining.

"Well. . . Dazai-san is dating somebody, you know? He's actually been chasing after him for years, and they just got together a few weeks ago! I thought he told you too, he was very excited to tell me about it."

Ryuunosuke felt crushed.

Dazai never tells him anything, but he seems to tell anybody else everything.

Instead of sulking like he would do if he was alone, he realizes he needs to answer Gin.

"No. . . Dazai-san didn't tell me, who is he dating?" Ryuunosuke asks his sister, very interested.

She stops to think for a second, as if trying to remember his name, and then she lets out a little 'Ah!' and replies with, "His name is Nakahara Chuuya! He's currently involved with the Mafia's jewelry trade, and he does a very good job at it!"

He's never heard that man's name before, especially not from Dazai-san. . .

But he wants to meet the man to question him, thinking he may know why Dazai hates him so much.

So he asks Gin for his current whereabouts, and starts heading there immediately after he gets an answer and a description of what he looks like.

.

.

.

Wandering about the warehouse for a few minutes looking, he finds someone who meets the exact description.

Very short, light ginger hair, fanciest hat in the world, and a nice looking suit.

That has to be him.

So Ryuunosuke walks up to him and tugs softly on his sleeve, and asks, "Are you Nakahara-san?"

The man looks beyond confused, but he slowly nods and replies, "Yeah. . . Who are you?"

Ryuunosuke just coughs into his hand and says, "You are Dazai-sans boyfriend?"

Nakahara looks like he's getting impatient, but he still replies as if he isn't, "Yeah, we're dating."

The little boy smiles for the first time in a long time, for he may find out why Dazai hates him so much.

"I have some questions about him. . ." Ryuunosuke mumbles out, feeling very nervous all of a sudden.

To that, Nakahara only nods, and lets out a long sigh.

Ryuunosuke decides to start off with small questions (or what he deems small questions), he asks Nakahara, "Is Dazai-san ever nice to you? Does he. . . Has he hit you?"

The man looks bewildered, and stutters out, "Wha- Huh? No- Why the hell would he do that?!"

Ryuunosuke blinks twice and frowns, "Ah. . . I see. . ."

Immediately, Nakahara asks the young boy, "Has. . . Does he hurt you? Is that why you asked?"

His voice is full of concern, 'He actually cares about me. . ?'

Akutagawa desperately wants to tell someone the truth, he wants to so badly.

But he can't tell Nakahara or Gin- the only two people he knows besides Dazai and the boss, who would most likely not care at all, seeing as he favors Dazai beyond all others.

So instead, he shakes his head no, and claims that Dazai would never hit him, that he treats his subordinates with care.

Nakahara doesn't seem too convinced but he lets it go.

"Is that all, er. . ."

He trails off, hoping the boy will tell him his name, so he doesn't get too embarrassed.

"Akutagawa Ryuunosuke."

He nods, and repeats himself, "Is that all, Ryuunosuke?"

He immediately shakes his head 'no' because he has so many questions about Dazai.

Nakahara lets out a small chuckle, "Alright, keep asking away. ."

Ryuunosuke expected him to be annoyed, tell him to leave, maybe even tell him to shut up because he's being annoying.

He didn't expect Nakahara to tell him to ask the questions he wanted to ask.

"Oh, umm. . Does Dazai-san talk about my sister, Gin, a lot?" That's not the question he really wanted to know, but he will ask it as a follow-up to this one.

Nakahara nods, replying with, "Yeah, all the time. She's one of his favorite subordinates."

Ryuunosuke smiles, happy for his sister, "What about me?" Is the question he had wanted to ask.

Nakahara frowns, shaking his head, "Sorry, kid. . ."

His smile instantly fades, that wasn't the answer he wanted.

Although, he will admit he did expect to hear that answer.

He knows Dazai isn't fond of him at all.

"Next question. . . Pardon the rude question, but what do you even see in him?"

He didn't mean to phrase it so rudely, seeing as Dazai is absolutely perfect, and everybody should see everything in him, but it was a genuine question of what Nakahara date this man.

He thought Nakahara might get mad, but he barks out a laugh instead, "I don't really know myself! He always annoyed the hell outta me, but one day I just looked at him, and he looked so unhappy, and he never has been like that around me before. So I kissed him. And we've been dating since."

That was not the answer Ryuunosuke expected, so he made a funny face, and that caused Nakahara to laugh again.

"You're really funny, kid! Anybody ever told you that?"

He shakes his head no.

Gin technically has, but she doesn't count since she's his sister.

"You kinda look like him, y'know? It's in the hair- hmmm.. And the eyes."

Ryuunosuke makes an even funnier face out of shock, his eyes go wide, and his mouth falls open.

He kinda looks like a fish.

Nakahara laughs again.

"I like you, kid, you're really funny. I wouldn't mind hanging out with you more."

He smiles at that, in all of his life, Gin was the only person to ever enjoy his presence.

He nods, about to reply, but his phone buzzes.

It's a text from Dazai, telling him to meet him somewhere.

"I have to go, Nakahara-san, I. . . Umm, I'd also like it if we hung out again. . ."

He's about to leave until he hears Nakahara call out to him, "Hey, Ryuunosuke, you can call me Chuuya. It's what everyone else calls me."

He nods again, smiling even wider.

He made a new friend!

And this friend can help him get closer to Dazai, and even if he doesn't, he still likes Nak- Chuuya anyways.

And with that, he actually takes his leave this time.

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.

.

He meets Dazai at the requested spot, confused at why he got called.

He didn't have training today, and he doubts (sadly) that Dazai really wanted to just see him.

It happens with Gin a lot, but never Ryuunosuke.

Just when he's about to open his mouth and ask Dazai, the man pulls something out of his pocket.

It's a pair of scissors.

That just makes Ryuunosuke more confused when Dazai walks up to him with the scissors in hand.

Is he going to get hurt?

But Dazai's preferred weapon choice is a gun, sometimes even a knife, but not scissors!

He didn't do anything wrong today!

They haven't even talked all day!

As Dazai rapidly approaches the young boy, Ryuunosuke rapidly moves back, avoiding injury.

That keeps happening until Ryuunosuke gets backed up into a chair.

He doesn't sit.

Dazai may not want him to sit.

Until Dazai pipes up, "Sit."

He muttered in a terribly angry voice, as though he was about to murder Ryuunosuke at any moment.

Afraid of what may happen if he doesn't he immediately sits down, not making a sound.

He's so scared.

He wants to scream in terror, but that will earn him punishment.

He wants to cry in fear, but that, too, will end in punishment.

So he sits there, heart racing, mentally begging anybody to help him.

Instead of threatening harm upon Ryuunosuke, Dazai tells him he's getting a haircut.

"Your hair is getting too long, when is the last time you cut it? Oh well- that doesn't matter. I'll cut it for you, a little "bonding" activity!"

Ryuunosuke should be happy, Dazai's finally doing something nice for him!

But with his tone, the young Mafioso doubts it will be nice after all.

He said it so mean, so filled with anger and hatred that Ryuunosuke can only feel pure terror and dread.

He feels as if Dazai is going to make it horrible on purpose as a punishment. . .

He begins to tremble, but soon stops himself, he might have gotten punished for that.

As Dazai snips at his hair, he squeezes his eyes closed as tightly as he can, and he digs his nails into his skin.

He's so scared, and he mentally begs anybody for help once again.

The seconds blur into minutes, and the minutes blur into hours, and Ryuunosuke has no idea how long it's been.

He doesn't know if it's been three days or fifteen minutes.

Finally, Dazai stops snipping, and he hands Ryuunosuke a mirror.

"Much better, isn't it? I thought it would look nice, I hope you like it."

Dazai's voice is cold and unforgiving, but the look on his face looks like the one he gives Gin, so Ryuunosuke doesn't know what to think of it anymore.

He looks in the mirror.

He thought it would look horrible.

He was expecting a horrible bowl cut, maybe even a buzz cut.

It's choppy at the ends, but he kind of likes it.

There's only one thing. . .

Dazai got rid of his bangs.

He liked his bangs.

'Oh well,' Ryuunosuke thought, 'It'll grow back in a few months anyways."

"Do you like it?" Dazai pipes up after a few minutes of Ryuunosuke just staring at the mirror.

He nods, because he does like it.

Dazai smiles and replies, "Good. Then once a month, you'll get it cut the same way by me."

He just blinks.

He doesn't smile, doesn't frown, he remains neutral.

'Maybe they won't grow back in a few months. . ." He thought to himself again.

There's a few moments of silence.

There's something about Dazai's aura that tells Ryuunosuke that he may be slightly kinder to him now.

Then he gets punched in the gut harshly, "Take your leave already, don't just sit there like an idiot!"

. . . Maybe Dazai's aura lies. . .

Not wanting to get punched again, he takes his leave as suggested.

(Two years later later, Ryuunosuke finds out that Dazai only did that because he though Ryuunosuke looked too much like him. Just like Chuuya had said.)

.

.

.

He doesn't see Chuuya for another five days.

This time, it was Chuuya who sought out Ryuunosuke.

And fuck, does Chuuya look absolutely pissed.

He grabs Ryuunosuke by the collar, scaring the living hell out of the young boy.

"Were you lying to me when you told me Dazai doesn't hurt you?!" He screeches out, not noticing how petrified Ryuunosuke is.

Things around the two start glowing a dark red and floating in the air.

Chuuya also glows red, but he doesn't float.

The objects begin shaking.

Things smash into the floor, walls, and ceiling.

Glass shatters in nearby places.

Ryuunosuke starts sobbing.

Immediately, it all stops, as if Chuuya didn't realize he was doing it.

He lets go of the smaller boy and apologizes, claiming he didn't mean to scare the boy.

Then, he repeats much quieter this time, "Tell me the truth, does Dazai hurt you? Tell me the truth, if not that's good, and if so, I'll help you out. He won't hurt you again."

Ryuunosuke doesn't know why, but he immediately trusts Chuuya.

So he tells him the truth.

He tells him about all of the torture he's endured over the last year, all the times Dazai has almost killed him, how he sometimes gets knocked into a coma lasting only a day or two, verbal abuse, and so much more.

Chuuya looks absolutely livid.

The objects and Chuuya start glowing red again, and things get sent flying everywhere, but the anger isn't directed at Ryuunosuke this time, so he isn't so scared.

He hugs Ryuunosuke, patting him on the head, and tells him, "It won't happen again, my boy. . . But if it does, tell me."

And with that, he leaves.

Ryuunosuke is left sitting there confused and upset at himself for snitching on Dazai, possibly ruining the relationship between Chuuya and Dazai.

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.

.

Hours later, Ryuunosuke is sipping on his tea peacefully, when he suddenly gets slammed into a wall with so much force that it leaves his head bleeding and the wall with cracks.

He opens his eyes to see his mentor, Dazai.

His eyes are filled with so much hatred and anger again that Ryuunosuke things he might actually die this time.

He's never looked even close to this angry ever.

Ryuunosuke wants to cry.

Distantly, he recognizes that he's getting punched in the face repeatedly- his eye is definitely swollen.

He isn't ready to die yet, he isn't even eighteen!

His lip is bleeding- so is his nose.

He also promised Gin that he'd always protect her. . .

He realizes that the punches have stopped.

Dazai's yelling at him, "Do you know how long it took me for Chuuya to like me back? Do you KNOW how much I cared about Chuuya? YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU RUINED EVERYTHING! YOU JUST HAD TO TELL HIM, HUH?! Well, Ryuunosuke, you know what they say, don't you? Snitches get stitches? Well, what I'm going to do to you is worse. You'll never see the light of day ever again, home-wrecker."

Throughout all of that, Ryuunosuke is getting strangled by Dazai.

He begins to tear up.

He really is going to die!

And he never got his recognition. . .

Dazai never once gave him a compliment.

He only wanted one compliment, and he'll never get it.

The one thing he went to achieve in life. . .

He looks Dazai in the eye.

Dazai looks like shit.

His only eye on display is red- from crying?!- and bruised swollen- a black eye, maybe.

His bandages on his neck are ripped to shreds, his neck itself is purple- strangulation?

His lip is cut open, bleeding out, just like his nose.

And that's when it hits him.

Chuuya did that to him.

Chuuya did that to him because Ryuunosuke snitched.

And now Dazai is doing the same thing to him, and he's killing Ryuunosuke right after.

He's frozen in fear, the poor boy is absolutely petrified.

He squeezes his eyes shut, afraid of Dazai's terrifying face, he prepares to die.

He's prepared to die any second now with his oxygen being cut off.

But death never came.

He hears someone being pushed to the ground (It's not him this time?), and a faint gasp of "Chuuya. . ?"

He opens his eyes and sees Chuuya locking Dazai in place on the ground.

Chuuya looks just as terrifying as Dazai did mere seconds ago, while Dazai looks like he may begin to start sobbing- a scary sight that Ryuunosuke has never seen before from Dazai.

Chuuya doesn't respond to Dazai, but punches him instead, knocking him out cold.

Still frozen in place from shock and terror, Ryuunosuke can only stand there and sob while he sees Chuuya walk over to him.

He expects him to be just as angry as Dazai was at him, for ruining their relationship.

He doesn't expect to be pulled into a hug, and definitely doesn't expect to hear soft apologies whispered into his ear.

Even less does he expect to be carried into Chuuya's apartment and have his injuries be treated by the man.

A few days later, two thoughts had occurred to Ryuunosuke:

One, Chuuya has been treating him like the dad he's never had.

Two, Ryuunosuke will never, ever tell anybody about what Dazai has done to him.

It was a month or two after that event that Dazai died.

Or, well, that's what many people believed, Ryuunosuke, Gin, and Chuuya included.

It was a peaceful time for Ryuunosuke.

He was crushed by the death of his mentor that he was abused into admiring, but it was definitely calmer.

Chuuya became his new mentor, who doesn't have as much respect as Dazai, but he definitely comes close to it.

During the next few years, Chuuya becomes sort of a father to Ryuunosuke.

Meaning that the boy saw how Chuuya grieved.

He never cried for Dazai (he did shed a tear or two for his car, though), but he definitely grieved.

He tells people he partied once he found out, but that's a lie.

What actually happened is Chuuya's temper grew terrible for about a week until he calmed down again.

Those who weren't very close to Chuuya wouldn't have noticed a change from his old self and current self, but Ryuunosuke can.

He drinks more often now, and every time someone mentions Dazai's name, Chuuya's face darkens.

On the anniversaries of his death, Chuuya sends voicemails to Dazai's phone saying how much he loved him.

The first year, he got a reply saying that this is the wrong number, but that he's sorry for his loss, and his partner most definitely misses him in the afterlife.

(Only a few years later, Chuuya finds out that it was Dazai who sent that text, wanting to comfort Chuuya some, but not wanting to give anything away.)

Chuuya nearly broke his phone, but he never cried.

Meanwhile, Ryuunosuke grew his power into something incredible and sharp as a knife.

He's killed many people with it.

He's even taken on a few subordinates himself.

Higuchi, Kyouka, a few more, but those are the only notable ones, in his opinion.

Is that what Dazai thought about Gin? 

That she was the only noteworthy subordinate of his?

Speaking of Dazai. . .

He's sure that he could take Dazai in a fight, if only he had the chance to. . .

.

.

.

Or so he thought.

But here he is, many years later, standing face to face with his previous mentor.

Needless to say, he's shocked beyond belief.

It's like seeing a ghost.

He though he was seeing a ghost!

"D-Dazai-san. . ."

And Dazai doesn't frown at him for once!

Has he changed that much over the last few years?

"Ah, Ryuunosuke! What a surprise meeting you here!"

He doesn't know what to say, so he just stands there for a few moments.

"Wha- Why. . . You left. Why? Why did you leave me?"

Dazai actually smirks at him!

He's never seen Dazai smile. . .

"Akutagawa! Have you ever personally met my latest pupil, Atsushi-kun?"

From behind him, a tall but skinny boy walks to his side.

Ryuunosuke's heart skips a beat.

'This boy is pretty,' Ryuunosuke thought to himself.

His hair is pure white, with a strip of black in the front.

His bangs are very choppy, but in a charming way.

And that outfit looks good on him.

Come to think of it, with his hair and his belt shaped like a tail, he kind of looks like a tiger.

Ryuunosuke thinks that they could become friends- maybe (hopefully), something more. . .

"He's a much better subordinate, in my opinion. Atsushi's great! He does everything I ask of him, and he does it perfectly, isn't that so nice?"

Scratch that- Ryuunosuke hates this boys guts.

And then a thought hits him like a truck; That's the Weretiger.

He had been tasked on killing the Weretiger, but he was granted multiple days to do it.

He was still studying his ability, but he supposes now is as great a time as any.

He shoots a glance behind him that explains to Higuchi everything she needs to know and understand.

After a second, she seems to understand.

Immediately, she starts shooting at Dazai, enough to knock him unconscious but not enough to kill him.

Ryuunosuke needs him unconscious, not dead.

He silently thanks Higuchi, and puts his attention towards the Weretiger, who's frozen in shock.

"You're the Weretiger, aren't you?" He sneers out.

Quickly recovering, the Weretiger barks out, "Who are you- what business do you have with the Armed Detective Agency."

He has no plans on killing the tiger right now, so he does not attack.

No, he's questioning now.

"Where has Dazai-san been? And what are you doing with him? You're not from the Mafia!" Akutagawa snaps out at him.

Confused, but still trying to be intimidating, Atsushi snaps back, "Of course I'm not from the Mafia! And Dazai-san has been working at the Armed Detective Agency for years! And I'm with him because I'm his subordinate, which you'd know if you had been listening earlier!"

Akutagawa had been listening, but almost nothing registered out of pure shock.

But right now, he has to be a little worried for the Weretiger. 

He was Dazai's subordinate. 

The tiger may have been badly injured by Dazai, and if so, he will take the cute boy far away from Dazai, maybe back to the Mafia with him.

"Has he been hurting you, too?"

The Weretiger looks beyond shocked, and it also showed in his voice, "Wha-? Hurt me? No, of course not! Dazai-san would never hurt his coworkers- What the hell?"

Something inside of Ryuunosuke snapped at that.

He's done questioning.

He's ready to kill.

He's going to kill the Weretiger with no remorse.

How come he was the only one that Dazai has abused?

It's not fair!

And with that anger, he summons Rashoumon to attack the tiger.

He dodges quickly, and transforms himself into the tiger.

.

.

.

The last three hours have been a blur, but they're still fighting.

He doesn't know when, but they're in Port Mafia territory now, giving Ryuunosuke an advantage.

He's about to deliver another blow, when all of a sudden, the Weretiger pulls out his ringing phone and flips it open, putting it to his ear, as if he's on a call.

"It's Dazai-san," he speaks harshly, "And he wants to speak with you."

That gets Ryuunosuke to put Rashoumon away altogether.

He begins to walk towards the phone, when Nakajima suddenly throws the phone off of the railing with all of his force.

Without thinking (or maybe he was thinking- god he doesn't even know!), he jumps off of the railing too, chasing the phone.

He reaches the phone while falling, putting it up to his ear, "D-Dazai-san??!"

He shouted into the phone, overjoyed that Dazai wants to speak to him for once.

He hears a soft chuckle in the phone, and he hears the line being cut off.

Realizing what happened, he begins to sob right before hitting the ground.

He doesn't die, unexpectedly, but it hurts.

That's not why he's currently weeping, though.

He's weeping because he got so far and he was so close to Dazai's recognition, just to find out he's been tricked.

He sits there crying his heart out for a few minutes until he's getting pulled up.

He expects Higuchi, Chuuya, Gin, maybe even Kyouka.

Anybody in the nearby area that knows Ryuunosuke.

He does not expect the Weretiger.

He does not expect to be pulled into a hug from the tiger boy.

"W-Weretiger?! Let go. . . Of me. . ."

He smiles, and pets Ryuunosuke's hair, "Shhh. . . It's okay. I'm sorry I had to do that. I trust you'll stop trying to kill me for a minute?"

He's out of energy now, so he nods, too weak to fight the tiger.

"Good. I wanna talk to you, is that fine?"

Noting how gentle the tigers being, he deems him harmless for now, and doesn't see why any reason why he couldn't talk to him.

So he nods.

"Great! There's not anything in particular. . . I just wanna get to know you better!"

It seems like, similar to Ryuunosuke's first impression of the boy, the Weretiger took a slight liking to him.

"Earlier. . . You asked if Dazai-san ever hit me, but you said if he ever hit me, too. . . Did Dazai-san ever. . ."

The intended words were left unsaid, but Ryuunosuke got the gist, and falsely denied the accusation.

"No. . . He never hit me, I just- I heard some rumors."

The Weretigers face lit up immediately and he smiled brightly.

"Good, good! Because I don't know what I would've done if I found out that the person who saved me was a really bad person," Nakajima chuckled out, "I wouldn't know what to do, so I'm very glad that I can keep looking up to him!"

'Looking up to him. . .'

Well, it's clear that the Weretiger can never find out about what Dazai did to him.

He doesn't need to ruin the Weretigers image of the man after already ruining Chuuya's image of him.

So he decided that under no circumstances will Nakajima ever find out.

.

.

.

After a few more minutes of talking, the Weretiger comes up with an ice breaker game.

The rules were simple to understand and easy enough to follow through with, so Ryuunosuke agreed.

They'd each take turns asking the other one question, but both men would have to answer.

For example, if the Weretiger asked what his favorite food was, they'd both have to answer the question.

And then it'd be Ryuunosuke's turn to ask, and they'd both answer that one, too.

See, very simple.

They played a game of "rock, paper, scissors" to see who goes first.

The Weretiger put up a rock.

Ryuunosuke put up a pair of scissors, since they were just talking about Dazai, and the one nice moment he had with him was burned into his mind.

Pouting a little, Ryuunosuke sighed, and waited for his question.

He expected something simple to start off with, something like, "What's your favorite food/color/book/movie?"

He did not expect, "Where did you grow up?"

He frowned.

He didn't want the Weretiger knowing something like this so soon. . .

What if he thinks it's disgusting?

Even so, he has to answer.

"My parents left me and my sister when we were little, so we grew up in the slums."

The Weretiger wasn't disgusted, he actually looked sympathetic.

Which is another thing he doesn't need, but he appreciates the gesture.

"My parents left me when I was a baby, too, but I was a little luckier. I grew up in an orphanage."

That's another thing Ryuunosuke didn't expect.

Somehow, he feels a deeper connection to the Weretiger.

Now it's Ryuunosuke's turn to ask the question.

He already knew what he was going to ask.

"How was it like growing up?"

The Weretiger seemed a little uncomfortable about that question, but Ryuunosuke was uncomfortable from his question, so it's a bit of karma.

But what the Weretiger said was actually very sad.

"The Headmaster. . . Well, he hated me, for some reason. At night he'd lock me in a cage, it was horrible! Even worse, he'd torture me everyday, and he said it was out of love, in order to help me survive in the real world. . . Waterboarding, electrocution, starvation. . . When I turned eighteen, I was immediately kicked out, unlike the other kids who still stayed until they could afford a new house. I was about to starve to death when Dazai-san found me, and he took me to a restaurant. That's around the same time I started working in the Agency, so it was only a few weeks ago. I still have nightmares about the orphanage."

Wow 

That was a lot.

He might've taken pity on the Weretiger, if he didn't know how little pity actually helped.

"The slums were bad. Me and my sister, Gin, would never plan past the current day because we'd never know if we'd live to see the next day. Or even finish the current day. We were also starved, but nobody starved us on purpose. We had no way of getting food. We had to steal, but we were often too weak to fight, so we had to be very careful, and only took little amounts. I did have to kill multiple people with Rashoumon so that I could protect Gin and I. Then Dazai-san found me and took me into the Mafia. . ."

He trailed off for a second, trying to think of a way to describe his Mafia life without letting him know that Dazai abused him.

"It wasn't better. In fact, it was worse. My mentor constantly abused me, at least three times a month would I be one cough away from dying because of him. But he always seemed to praise everybody else, never laying so much as a finger on them unless it was to comfort them. He would beat me relentlessly, he left a scar in my mind that I'll never be able to get rid of. He made me know I'll never be good enough, never be strong enough. . ."

He had to stop for a moment so he wouldn't tear up.

"Anyways, I met this man named Nakahara Chuuya while in the Mafia. That was his boyfriend. But they broke up because of me. When I met him, he instantly decided he liked me, and we became friends. But then he found out about the abuse that his boyfriend afflicted on me, and he broke up with him right before beating the living daylight out of him. He had a bloody lip and nose, a black eye on the eye he didn't constantly cover with a bandage, and his throat was purple from strangulation. He did the same to me, but he actually intended to kill me. . ."

He zoned out for another moment before continuing. 

"A little while later, he died. Chuuya mourned him despite everything he did, and he felt bad for mourning. But I understood, I mourned as well. Plus, that had been his boyfriend after all. And he never stopped loving him, even after breaking up. But he knew that he should've. Chuuya never cried for him. But I could tell he was upset sometimes."

The Weretiger looked utterly shocked.

"Oh, wow. . . I-"

He was totally at a loss for words, not knowing what to say about that.

"It's fine, Weretiger, you don't need to say anything. But I do fear I should be leaving now, I have to report back to Chuuya. Goodbye."

The Weretiger waves him bye, and they each walk off.

.

.

.

A few minutes later, he met with Chuuya, and informed him of Dazai's presence.

Immediately, everything in the room started glowing a dark red and floating in the air.

Glass -a window, to be specific- shattered from a chair being thrown out of it.

Things exploded.

Most items broke.

That went on for a few minutes.

But Ryuunosuke wasn't scared this time.

He hadn't been scared of Gravity Manipulation for a long time.

When his ability grew stronger, his fear grew weaker. (And by grew weaker, he meant he locked his fear into a deep prison in the deepest parts of his soul, never to be unlocked again without a very specific apology-shaped key)

Instead, he just watched as Chuuya destroyed his office, muttering about that "Stupid shitty Dazai!" and how "He's finally going to kill the bastard!" and other stuff that he wasn't actually listening to, but he's sure has something to do with Dazai.

After a while, it all stops.

"Where did you see him?" Chuuya asks- no, demands.

Not in a rude way, though.

He just needed to get his point across: This is important.

Ryuunosuke didn't take it personally.

"He works at the Armed Detective Agency. I can get you the location."

Chuuya smiles, thanks Ryuunosuke, and says, "No need, I know exactly where it is."

And he immediately heads out.

It looks like Dazai's going to get his shit rocked by Chuuya.

And this time, Ryuunosuke doesn't feel guilty at all.

.

.

.

'Fuck, Chuuya-kun really did rock Dazai-sans shit,' Ryuunosuke thought, in mild horror upon sneaking into the Agency to continue his talk with the cute tiger boy, 'Just. . . Not in the way I thought- I. . . I really shouldn't have seen that!'

Ryuunosuke feels disgusted.

He meant to climb into the Weretigers apartment (his research from the previous days proving useful, and gave him the apartment number), but he accidentally went a window down, to Dazai's apartment, and saw something that nobody should have seen.

It looks like Chuuya and Dazai are back together. . .

But that doesn't mean Chuuya needs to fuck Dazai until his legs break in two!

Immediately after looking in, he looked back away and went to the correct window.

Not bothering to knock, he breaks the window open with Rashoumon and steps in.

The Weretiger screamed.

And Ryuunosuke would have laughed at the Weretiger if he wasn't still so horrified.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" The tiger screams out, "AND WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST KNOCKED!?"

Ryuunosuke blinked.

"I didn't know if you were here or not."

The Weretiger looks even more exasperated.

"THAT'S WHY KNOCKING IS A THING!"

Ryuunosuke blinks again.

"I want to keep talking. I. . . Enjoyed our talk earlier, and wanted to continue."

Nakajima gave an exhausted smile, clearly giving up and giving in.

"Okay, fine. It was my turn to ask a question wasn't it?"

He nods.

"Hmmmmm, ooh! I know!"

.

.

.

They got into that routine, and they stuck with it for a month or two.

Ryuunosuke got Chuuya to agree to get the Weretigers bounty cancelled, knowing how fond Ryuunosuke is of the tiger.

Everyone who knows Ryuunosuke knows how fond he is of the tiger.

Gin teases him relentlessly for it, so does Higuchi at times, Kyouka never mentioned anything, but she was apparently also quite fond of the tiger.

So fond of him that she escaped the Mafia to go work at the agency.

He didn't try to stop her.

Although, Kouyou cried about it nonstop for days, and still cries about it sometimes, according to Chuuya.

But every day, Ryuunosuke will go to the tigers (and now Kyouka's too, but she always leaves when he comes) apartment.

And they begin talking for hours, until it was too late for Ryuunosuke to safely walk home, in the Weretigers mind.

He knows realistically that Ryuunosuke could totally obliterate any human trying to cause him harm, but that's the issue.

The Weretiger doesn't want Ryuunosuke to murder anybody.

They still play the ice breaker game sometimes, they each like knowing new stuff about the other.

Sometimes, they go outside of the dorm room, and socialize with other members of the agency.

Ryuunosuke's favorite members besides the Tiger and Kyouka are Yosano, Junichirou (when his sister isn't around, disgusting) but that's because Tachihara talks quite fondly of him, and Dazai.

He gets along great with the first two, but not so much with Dazai.

Dazai and Kunikida (who doesn't like the idea of the Port Mafia hanging around, whether it's him or Chuuya who also comes by frequently) aren't fond of him at all, but everyone else has taken a liking to him.

He's began to love his new life, not knowing how much happiness he could've had if he found good people sooner.

Today was a great day, too.

There was a party at the Detective Agency, and Jinko (between the months, Ryuunosuke gave that nickname to the tiger) invited him to it.

He's not one for socializing, but it turned out to be decent in the end.

He didn't eat any of the food (he never got into a habit of eating much after being rescued from the slums) but the wine Yosano brought was quite good.

And then Ryuunosuke and Jinko went to the latter's apartment afterwards and just sat there holding each other for a while.

Until Jinko asks Ryuunosuke a question that made him rather uncomfortable.

"Who was your old mentor in the Mafia? You talk about him sometimes but you never told me his name."

Ryuunosuke froze.

And he stayed frozen for a moment until he replied, "I won't tell you. Ask Kyouka, or even ask Dazai, but I will not be the one to tell you. I don't want you being upset."

Confused about why he'd be upset, he picks up his phone and dials Dazai's number.

After a few rings, the phone call is answered, and he hears a quiet, "Heeeeeelllllllooooooo, Atsushi-kun~!"

And Ryuunosuke wants to vomit when Jinko asks, "Who was Ryuu's old mentor? He doesn't want to tell me himself, but he said it was okay for you or Kyouka to tell me. . ."

When Dazai responds, "Oh why Atsushi-kun, it was little ol' me! Surprise, surprise!" Ryuunosuke runs to the bathroom and actually does vomit.

He doesn't know why.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Jinko sitting there, frozen.

As if he was unsure what to do with himself.

He can hear small mumbles from the phone, but he cannot make out the words.

But what he can hear is Atsushi snapping the phone shut and storming out of the room.

He sobs alone in the bathroom when he hears yelling coming from both Atsushi and Dazai from outside of the dorm.

He wished Jinko never asked him that.

He wished he lied and said he forgot.

He wished he lied and said a fake name.

Instead, he sneaks out of Atsushi's apartment and heads back to his shared apartment with Gin.

He sends Atsushi a text saying that he needs to get back, and not to get mad at Dazai-san, because he's changed, and he's not the same person he used to be.

Later, he sees a text back saying that everything got worked out, and nobody is mad.

And even later, while he was hanging out with the Weretiger, he sees a voicemail from Dazai.

An apology.

Not just for the haircut, which is the first thing he apologized for, and also the first time Ryuunosuke heard the reason his hair got chopped off, but for everything.

He didn't just say, "Sorry for everything."

No.

It was a thirty-minute voice recording apologizing for ever single thing Dazai ever did to him.

And at the end, Dazai told Akutagawa Ryuunosuke that he was so, so very proud of him.

Ryuunosuke cried into Jinko's arms that night.

And the next morning, Jinko woke Ryuunosuke up with a kiss.

Their first kiss.

It wasn't long and spicy, quite the opposite.

It was short and sweet, but so very full of love.

And Ryuunosuke kissed him back.

They were both very inexperienced kisses, but that's what made them so lovely.

.

.

.

A few hours later, Ryuunosuke is seen with many bruises and marks on his neck and back, limping around everywhere.

Underneath Atsushi's shirt is a bunch of scratches, and he also had bruised on his neck.

Most people assumed they got into another play-fight like they usually do.

Ranpo, Dazai, and Yosano (who knows what actual wounds look like) looked absolutely disgusted.

But as long as they didn't tell anybody, Ryuunosuke would never speak about what he saw Dazai and Chuuya doing the first time he went to the Agency's apartments.

After all, all four of them would be in huge trouble with their bosses if they found out about their private relationships.

(What none of them know, though, is the secret relationship between their bosses, and how they wouldn't actually mind at all.)

But anyways, they all lived happily ever after!

Except for Ryuunosuke because he's always in some sort of mood.

The end!