Chapter Text
Todd Anderson was not one to complain. He was used to being overlooked and unseen. However, he now had to go to Welton which was, in his opinion, a very complainable problem. He hated being in places where he knew nobody or had too many people. Welton would probably fall under both of those categories. Plus, Todd felt he was always living in his older brother’s shadow (probably because his parents felt the need to compare them every opportunity they could get) and going to Welton would just make things worse.
He could just picture his teachers’ voices in his head.
“You’re capable of so much more, Anderson, just look at all the things your brother did.”
“I don’t understand why you don’t get this, your brother was already an expert at this by your age.”
“Why can’t you just be more like your brother, Anderson?”
It was sickening to imagine. He knew the chances of having a competent teacher was very low, and found himself hoping for a mediocre teacher at best. Knowing his luck, all his new professors would constantly compare him to Jeffrey. It wasn’t even their fault really, Todd’s brother was amazing, good--no, excellent--at everything and it seemed he did it without ever trying. Jeffrey was just one of those effortlessly perfect people. Todd, on the other hand, was not. That’s not to say he was a failure, but he wasn’t the greatest at everything. Not the way his brother was.
It’s not like, even if he didn't go to Welton, he would stop being compared to his brother, it was a constant in his life; a daily ritual, performed by his parents.
“It’s going to be so much worse when I finally go to that school,” Todd thinks with a slight sigh. On the bright side, he wouldn’t have to see his parents for nearly a year. That had to count for something, right?
“Maybe I’ll meet some friends there,” he mused, but quickly shook the thought out of his head. No need to give himself false hope.
*****
Todd sat down on the pews with his parents on either side of him. He looked up at the dean, Nolan, rambling on about something in a booming voice as he tried to pay attention. Problem was, he kept tuning the headmaster out and had started fidgeting with his hands. It wasn't even his fault, Nolan just had a boring speech planned out.
Suddenly, the headmaster stopped speaking and everyone was rising from their seats. Or, at least, some people were.
Todd’s father nudged him to stand up along with them and so he rose and tried to say what the others were saying. He ended up just muttering random noises.
When they had finished reciting the four words, they all sat down, almost collectively. Todd sat along with them, thinking about how scarily cultish that had felt. He hoped the rest of his school experience would not be as odd.
The headmaster started reciting statistics and numbers. It all sounded the same to him. All Todd could think about was how horrible the next few months would be.
*****
Todd walked towards his new room, thinking about earlier--the welcoming ceremony and saying goodbye to his parents--when a random guy goes, “Hey, I hear we’re gonna be roommates.”
Todd looks at him in confusion as the dark-haired stranger introduces himself as Neil Perry.
Todd observes him for a moment, noticing the easy way Neil carries himself (and if Todd felt slightly envious, that was nobody’s business but his).
“Todd Anderson” he introduces himself and shakes Neil’s hand. He had nice hands too. Soft, but with a nice texture to it.
“Does that sound weird?” He wondered before confirming, “Yeah, that’s definitely weird.”
Todd explained why he moved to this school, “My brother went here.” Neil smiled and said, “Oh so you're that Anderson.”
Todd sighed internally. He hadn’t even started school yet and his brother’s legacy was weighing over him. Distinctly, he remembered what the headmaster had said, “You’ve got some big shoes to fill.” Todd sighed again (he seemed to be doing a lot of that lately) this was going to be a long year.
*****
“Hey, I heard you got the new kid, looks like a stiff,” Todd heard someone say as he walked into the room. When the boy, a redhead, saw Todd, he just left unapologetically.
Neil, instead of apologising (for what, he didn’t know), just laughed.
Todd started unpacking as Neil spoke. Apparently, the redhead was named Cameron. He didn’t listen to too much after that, though. Todd didn’t see why he had to be friends with anyone here.
Although, he didn’t mind Neil that much. It was odd, normally loud people were slightly--if not completely--annoying. Neil was different though. When he spoke, Todd felt enraptured by Neil. Not his voice, not the things he was saying, just the way he said them, in a important, lighthearted way. When Todd spoke, it was hesitantly, unsure of himself--a complete opposite of how Neil was. Silently, he wished that Neil would rub off on him or something. Maybe then his parents would like him more. Maybe then, they’d see he was worth just as much as Jeffery is.
*****
Neil liked the new boy, Todd, shockingly enough. Sure, Todd was a little shy, but it was kind of endearing, honestly.
Neil felt happy, smoking cigarettes with his friends when his dad walked in. They all (as in Neil and all his friends) immediately covered up any trace of the smoke—god bless his great, quick-reacting friends.
“Neil, I’d like to talk to you,” voiced his father after surveying the room. “Outside.”
"Well, that should be good," Neil thought.
He walked into the hallway with his father who had an annoyed look on his face. Which was normal, Neil was pretty sure his father fell asleep with a grimace. He focused on that while his dad was talking to him about his future. The regular “study, get into Harvard, become a doctor” spiel that he had heard at least a thousand times. Neil just nodded at all the right times and said, “Yes, sir” like he was expected to. Inside, he felt nothing. No, that wasn’t true, he did try to reject his fathers dreams of Neil’s future for a moment, but that was immediately shot down. Apparently, the only thing Neil had ever wanted to do just didn’t fit right with his father’s master plan. Over Neil’s life, mind you. But, oh well, not much could be done about it, he supposed.
Neil went back inside to his dorm, slightly more dejected than he had been earlier, but still having a good time with his friends.
They were already discussing plans for a study group, to which Neil had the most brilliant idea of inviting Todd. When he asked the blond about it, Todd just shrugged slightly. Neil, however, wasn’t taking no for an answer. Todd would come, Neil was sure of it.
*****
A study group to be a part of.
“That’s…nice. I suppose,” Todd thought. Honestly, a small part of him was sure that they just did it because he was Jeffrey’s brother--they probably thought that he was smart just like his brother (in Todd’s opinion, they were completely wrong). God, it would sound crazy to an outsider just how much Jeffrey plagued his thoughts. Sometimes, it felt as though Todd Anderson was not his own person, but a shadow, a poor impression of his older brother. Nevertheless, he felt glad to have a group of--he wasn’t sure what to call them since friends felt wrong--to help him. It probably wouldn’t be anything like Todd’s study group at his old school though. Just another thing he would have to get used to.
Todd went to his next class. Literature. He wasn’t too bad at literature, in fact, he enjoyed reading some poems in his free time when he could, but he was bad at school literature. Todd didn’t understand the way the teachers wanted him to understand the writings which often led to him getting a lower grade than he should’ve. His old teacher wasn’t too bad, you didn't think about what the writing meant to you as an individual person, it was just the professor telling them what they should think about the poem and why, but at least he had given the answers away. Some teachers made you think about what it meant and your feelings about it. That was almost impossible to explain and it was the worst. He always failed whenever that happened. But, at least, he could understand cold hard facts, which is probably what this teacher, Mr. Keating, would teach. He would just state his opinion and quiz them on it. Todd was great at passing those kinds of tests.
Todd sat down on his chair as he waited for the teacher to enter the room. There was talking all around him. Abruptly (although calmly), Mr. Keating entered the room. Todd immediately straightened up his posture, knowing Welton professors punished students for even minor infractions.
Quickly, Todd noticed the humming. At first he thought it was a reckless student, like Charlie, but he soon realized it was Mr. Keating. He hadn’t expected that and wasn’t sure what to think of it.
Todd watched as Mr. Keating, still whistling mind you, walked through the room and to the door. He opened it and calmly walked out. With no context and not a single word!
The students in the room all exchanged glances with each other, what were they supposed to do now?
Then, Mr. Keating stuck his head back into the room and said, “Well come on” and left the room once again.
Murmurs erupted before everyone started to take their books and leave the room. Todd followed silently behind, the last one to leave. He was still utterly confused, maybe this was just a Welton thing? Although, considering the looks on his classmates’ faces, this didn’t happen before.
They all stopped when they arrived at the hallway, near the trophies. Mr. Keating stopped humming and recited in a clear voice, “O Captain! My Captain!” He paused for a moment before asking, “Who knows where that comes from?”
Todd knew, he was sure of it. It was almost definitely from Walt Wittman’s poem. Not that he would say it out loud. After all, he was new here and if he got the question wrong, he wouldn’t even have anyone to laugh about it with. And he was probably wrong, anyways.
“Not a clue?” Mr. Keating asked. When no one said anything, he said the answer, “It’s a poem by Walt Wittman.”
Huh. So Todd was right.
“In this class, you may call me ‘Mr. Keating’ or, if you’re slightly more daring, ‘O Captain! My Captain’”
Todd was almost completely sure that he’d never be calling Mr. Keating by the latter.
Mr. Keating revealed that the rumors of him being from “Hellton” were true and added a personal monologue to it. Todd found it slightly amusing, he even smiled for a moment, but he was confused (as he had been the entire lesson) what this had to do with literature.
Mr. Keating then had Pitts read a poem, "To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time," he mentioned.
Once Pitts was done, Mr. Keating asked, “Now, who knows what carpe diem means?”
“Seize the day.”
“Seize the day,” answered Meeks.
“Seize the day, boys, turn your lives extraordinary!” Mr. Keating all but yelled.
*****
“Well,” Meeks said, “that was certainly an…original lesson we had.”
“Original? It was fucking great, Meeks!” Neil cried.
Charlie hummed in agreement. “You know, I hate Hellton and all that it stands for, but that wasn’t the worst thing ever.”
“He’s going to get into trouble if he continues teaching like that,” Cameron spoke.
“Well, I hope that doesn’t happen anytime soon,” Knox muttered. “Welton needs a decent teacher like him.”
Pitts, Charlie, and Neil all nodded slightly.
Todd just sat there and twiddled his thumbs. Metaphorically, of course. Literally, he was bouncing his leg up and down and down and up and up and down until it was kind of hurting a little.
Neil must’ve noticed Todd’s being anxious because the brunette sat down next to Todd and asked him, “What about you? What do you think of Mr. Keating,”
“Oh, ummmm” Todd took a moment to process the fact that he was being talked to. “I guess he’s okay? I mean, it’s only my first impression of him, so..”
Neil smiled at him, he couldn’t help it. Something about Todd just made Neil feel so smiley. Maybe it was the way he acted so differently than all of Neil’s other friends. Yes, that must be it, it was confusing his brain and so he was smiling more. It made perfect sense.
Todd, meanwhile, was utterly confused. Had he said the wrong thing? He knew there was no good reason for Neil to be smiling at him. Maybe he’d accidentally said something dumb and the other boy was just marveling at Todd’s blatant stupidity. Yeah, that seemed right.
“You seem to like him,” Todd observed.
“Yeah, but like you said, I don’t really know him. Maybe he’s really an ax murderer and is just acting kind so that he can lure us in and kill us”
Todd laughed a little, “Yeah, that seems really unlikely.”
“Probably,” Neil laughed too.
They smiled at each other, just happy to be in each other's presence.