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"Logan, can we talk?"
Logan went over things in his head. His current schedule was being maintained, if only barely, and Thomas's mental health was about where he expected it to be. Roman was working on a script for a new video. Remus was jump-scaring people, but otherwise being about as well behaved as he could be. Janus and Virgil were working on their own projects that didn't require his input.
"I seem to have no pressing engagements at this time. What is this about?" Logan gestured for Nico to sit down.
"I wanted to make sure I was giving you enough attention." Nico admitted, sitting down.
Logan blinked in surprise. "You've been very supportive of my schedule and keeping Thomas on task. I'm not sure what more I could ask."
"Yeah, but that's for Thomas. This is..." Nico seemed to be struggling to find what he wanted to say. "I went from having one boyfriend to having seven and I don't want any of you to feel left out or that I'm neglecting you. I spend a lot of time with Virgil, Roman, and Thomas. Patton comes over for chats a lot. And Remus is Remus. But I don't spend a lot of downtime with you or Janus and I want to make sure neither of you feel neglected."
"That is...very kind." Logan felt a little taken aback, if he was honest. He was, among many things, Thomas's professionalism. He was usually sought out in a professional capacity. "Though you need not worry about me. The truth is things like romance and attraction don't reach me. I don't feel the need or even a draw to engage."
Nico looked at him like he was trying to figure something out, but what it was Logan couldn't say. He thought he'd been quite clear.
"Logan, are you aroace?" Nico asked.
"I am unfamiliar with the term. Can you explain it?" Logan felt he'd be disappointed if it was another term for stick in the mud. Not surprised, but disappointed.
"It's short for Aromantic Asexual. It means someone who doesn't feel romantic or sexual attraction for anyone." Nico explained.
Oh. "That does seem to fit, yes." Logan observed. "I'd like to do some more research into the matter, of course. Was there anything else you required?"
"Well, even if you're not interested in a romantic relationship, I still want to hang out with you. At the very least, you're still my friend. And I'd like to get to know you better. I know you like space, you watched that documentary my first night here."
Logan felt inordinately pleased that Nico has retained such a detail on an incredibly emotionally fraught day. There was a...satisfaction to being seen. “Correct, space is a particular passion of mine, though truthfully I like learning anything new. I also enjoy puzzles and riddles. Actually riddles, not puns.” Distaste colored the last word. “Puns are more Patton’s domain, as wordplay is Roman, especially where nicknames are involved. I also enjoy poetry and the analysis thereof. Though I am not overly fond of freeform. I prefer using specific meters and styles.”
“Because it’s like a puzzle itself?” Nico guessed. “Trying to make the words and syllables fit the scheme and convey your message while obeying the rules of the challenge.”
Logan’s eyebrows raised, pleasantly surprised. “Yes, that may not have been the way I put it, but it is accurate. I am also Thomas’s sense of order, so making things fit into their places is also very satisfying for me. But I also understand poetry is your job and mixing job and leisure can lead to dissatisfaction in leisure time.”
“Sometimes yeah. I probably won’t want to try and write poetry in my downtime, but I’m still down for talking about it, or poems you enjoy. And maybe when Thomas is up for being out in public more, we could do an escape room together.” Nico suggested.
Logan’s eyes lit up for a moment. “I truthfully don’t know if he would ever feel completely safe having us in public with him. But it is a pleasant thought, a day solving puzzles using a variety of different techniques. I think I would enjoy that very much.”
“I thought you were Thomas’s brother at first, it’s probably what most people would assume you were." Nico pointed out. "We just need to get past the ever-present problem of Remus jumping out on impulse in front of others.”
“That is the challenge.” Logan admitted. “But I have every faith we’ll eventually find a solution or Remus will mature enough to be trusted with that at least.”
“We will.” Nico promised. “So what were you working on when I came in?”
“I was mapping Thomas’s control over his new powers.” Logan turned the spreadsheet so Nico could see it. “Would you like to go over it with me?” He hoped his lack of surety didn’t come through his voice. Others weren’t often interested in his research. Only his end results, if anything.
“Sure.” Nico slid over next to him. “Tell me how this works.”
“Certainly. And I would not be opposed to scheduling a more formal ‘informal hang-out’ at a later date.”
Nico smiled. “I can’t wait.”
~
Nico had plans for today’s hangout. A 3d-puzzle, a book of riddles (not pun based) and a link to a documentary on different poetry forms. Those plans all took a backseat when he came in to find Logan looking utterly wrecked.
“Logan, are you okay?” Nico asked, dropping the puzzle and going over to him, fighting the urge to pull him into a hug like he would some of the others.
“I think…there’s something wrong with me.” Logan said slowly.
“Are you feeling sick? Did resetting not help?” Nico asked.
“Resetting wouldn’t help. It returns us to a default state, and I believe this has been a problem that is inherent to my default.” Logan's words were almost mechanical, but his voice was strained.
Nico squeezed his hand, hoping Logan was okay with that much physical contact. “Can you tell me about it?”
“You’re the one who realized it first. I am aromantic asexual. I thought it a descriptive adjective. That I was a gay man who happened to be aromantic asexual. But it’s not. It’s a sexuality. If I am asexual, I am not gay. But I have no attraction to anyone, therefore I am asexual.”
“Logan, that’s not something wrong with you. I’m not sure why you think it would be.” Nico sounded confused.
“Because I am not supposed to be. I am a part of Thomas and Thomas is neither aromantic nor asexual. I’m a part of him, we should match, but we don’t. I am missing a vital component. When Thomas raised the question of dating again, I was the sole voice against it. I saw no benefit to being in a romantic relationship that could not be obtained through friendship, such as camaraderie, sharing leisure time, and mutual aid. Even copulation, though dictated to be between couples of romantic interest, can be done with friends as per the ‘friends with benefit’ system. It did not seem worth the emotional toil to me. None of the others agreed with me, and I couldn’t understand why. I felt almost like they were ignoring me out of spite. But that was never it, was it? They all wanted something that was invisible to me. Something I couldn’t perceive, but they all could clearly. I am…flawed.”
“You are not flawed.” Nico said, insistently. “Logan, I know you’re going through a lot, so may I try and explain my reasons for why I think you may have reached a wrong conclusion, or would you rather just have support until a later time.”
“If you can reason this away, I would welcome it. Though I do not see how.” Logan allowed.
“The first point is you seeing being asexual as a flaw. I promise it isn’t. You aren’t missing anything vital any more than Thomas is for not being attracted to women. Life is different for everyone, and no two people, not even twins, go through it the same way. Our joys and pleasures and what gives our life purpose are things unique to us as individuals. The fact that you can't find the same joy Thomas does in romantic expression is no different from Thomas not finding the same satisfaction you do in exercising a well organized plan.”
“But Thomas must, on some level, because if he didn't, I would not. I do not see being asexual in general as a flaw. Only in me. Because I am not meant to be one. I am meant to be homosexual.”
“You’re not meant-” Nico cut himself off and looked at Logan, as if seeing him with new eyes. “Logan, I think… I think there is one really important piece of information you’ve overlooked in coming to your conclusion.”
“What data point would that be? I’ve been over everything in my head several times.”
“Do you remember the biscuits Patton made for the FamILY dinner last Saturday? Do you remember what you put on them?”
“Crofter’s Berry Harvest Jam. How is this relevant?” Logan pressed.
“Do you remember what Roman put on his?” Nico asked.
“I do not.” Logan admitted. “I didn’t think it an important detail.”
“Raspberry Jelly. What about Remus?”
“Him, I remember. He dunked the biscuit in water and ate it that way.” Logan shuddered.
“Right, and what about Virgil?”
Logan shook his head. Like Roman, he hadn’t thought of Virgil’s biscuit preferences as important.
“He smeared it in the gravy and mashed potatoes.” Nico recalled.
“Is there a point to this? I don’t see how biscuits are at all relevant to the matter at hand.” Logan was starting to feel annoyed.
“One more and if it doesn’t become clear I’ll explain. What did Thomas put on his biscuits?”
“I don’t remember exactly, but I imagine it was butter. That’s what he normally does.”
“He did, and that’s my point. If all you guys are is parts of Thomas, shouldn’t you all have used butter?”
The question brought Logan up short. Because Nico was right. They were all Thomas, they should all have the same preferences. “I don’t… I don’t understand.” He didn’t like the quaver in his voice. “It doesn’t make sense.”
“Logan.” Nico took a steadying breath. “You’re Thomas’s logic, knowledge, organizational skills, and so much more. I see pieces of him in you, just like I do in the other Sides. But the part you’re missing is that that’s not even close to being all you are. You’re Logan Sanders, a brand new person who likes Astronomy more than Chemistry, prefers poetry to songs, and likes sweet things more than Thomas. You’re different from both him and the other Sides in so many ways. And they’re all different from each other in just as many. One of those ways just happens to be that you’re ace.”
“Nico, my sexuality has moved significantly down my list of worries.” Logan’s head felt like it was full of helium and his stomach like it was full of lead. “I fear I’m going to be- trash can!”
Nico barely reached it in time before Logan began to dry heave. There was nothing in his stomach, he hadn’t eaten since his last reset. But that wasn't stopping his stomach from trying to empty itself. Logan was somewhat familiar with the phenomena. Thomas has been sick before, after all. But somehow it felt different because Thomas was not sick, it was him. Just him.
Just him was a concept that should not exist. And on that note he really owed Virgil an apology. He'd thought he was being dramatic about both existing and being afraid of dying. Roman too. But no, once again, it was that he had been the last to figure something out, and this time he couldn't even blame an innate inability to feel something. This was willing blindness and that hurt more.
It took longer than he would have wanted for his stomach to stop trying to evacuate food that wasn't there. And even then, he still felt horrid. His face felt too hot, his heart was beating too quickly, and he was covered in a sheen of sweat.
“Let’s get you to the bathroom.” Nico helped him up. “You’ll feel better after brushing your teeth and washing your face.”
“There is no need. I can reset to more quickly and efficiently restore myself. I’ll be right back.” Logan sunk through the floor quickly.
He wasn’t sure why he felt so eager to be out of that room. It was not as if the room itself had any bearing on the revelations that had happened within. He did not dwell in the Mind Palace, even though he felt a certain temptation to. Hiding in there would not hide him from those truths either.
Logan manifested and found himself in the greenscreen room, with Thomas and Roman apparently working on a script.
“Logan, are you okay?” Thomas asked, concerned. “You just went back into your room and popped back out.
“Yes, was this not the time you’d put aside to spend with our lovely Nico?” Roman sounded concerned. “Is everything alright?”
“Yes, I reset because it was more efficient. I should get back to him. I’ve made several new discoveries and I must-” A thought occurred to him. It made his insides twist, but not to the degree the initial realization had. “Actually, I believe it is important to share the preliminaries as quickly as possible. I am going to return to the living room so Nico is not unduly concerned. I would appreciate it if you gathered everyone there briefly. It does not matter if they’re in your head, as long as they’re paying attention. I will not take much of your time, but there are things I think need to be said.”
Logan turned and strode out, not waiting for a reaction. He forced himself to remain calm, although he could still feel the metaphorical storm inside him. He felt the urge to deny what he’d discovered, how peculiar. Janus could hide things from him, but he could not compel Logan to want to hide things, especially when doing so would go against his nature as Logic and Knowledge. So this was not Janus’s doing, but rather a mental reaction caused by his own newfound humanity trying to reject its own existence. Fascinating.
He met Nico halfway up the stairs.
“Are you okay?” Nico asked. “I mean, I know physically you reset, but are you okay-okay?”
“I am working on it.” Logan admitted. “I asked Thomas to gather the others. They need to know about my change in sexuality.”
“No, they don’t. Wait, that came out wrong.” Nico stopped himself, raising a hand while he found the words. “I don’t want you to feel you have to hide it. But coming out is for when you feel comfortable. You don’t owe that to anyone,” Nico promised. “Even if they sort of are you.”
“In a normal case, perhaps. But this is not a normal case. I was mostly upset because of my belief that I had to be the same as Thomas. The others may be operating under the same belief and it would hurt them if they came to a similar conclusion in the same way. They need to know that there is a possibility. I am unnerved.” Scared, a small part of him said, but he refused to acknowledge it. “By, well, by everything about this. But knowledge is the key to pushing forward and I must share what knowledge I can.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Nico asked.
“I believe just being there in support will be sufficient.” Logan glanced back. Thomas had yet to emerge, likely still talking with some of the Sides that were prior in his head. “I will also be giving out some apologies due, and before the others come out, I want to give one to you.”
“Me?” Nico was confused. “Logan you haven’t done anything to me that needs apologizing for.”
“It’s not something I’ve done, per se. But I believe I’ve been somewhat jealous of you. Of the sway you seem to hold over the rest of us when it feels like I need to shout to be heard. You’ve been nothing but helpful and you’ve helped me feel heard too. My envy was unwarranted.”
“Did you talk to them about it?” Nico asked.
“No,” Logan admitted. “I believe part of me was worried about how I would react if I brought the matter to their attention and nothing changed. So I said nothing and hoped the situation would resolve itself.” He winced. “I dislike that I was acting irrationally.”
“I hate to say it, but it’s part of being human.”
“I don’t like that.” Logan said plainly.
“Yeah,” Nico agreed. “Most of the time we don’t either.”
~
By the time Thomas got the others wrangled, Logan was back in what had become his usual seat on the couch. Nico was sitting next to him, obviously intended as a show of support. Logan wished he could say it was unnecessary, but that would be a falsehood. While he did not expect a negative reaction beyond sheer confusion from the others, he was far less sure about his own turmoil about his own personhood. He wished he could compartmentalize it away to deal with at another time, but it was too intrinsically tied with the subject at hand. After all, he would not have a different sexuality if not for being a different person.
“You figured something out, Logan?” Patton opened up the conversation before Logan had found the words to say.
“Maybe your own power?” Roman suggested.
Logan took a deep breath, refusing to let his nerves get to him. “That, if it exists, has yet to manifest. However, I came to a conclusion on a different matter that is causing me some concern.” Logan gripped the knees of his pants a little tighter, a fact that was noticed by everyone. “I’d like to open with an apology to Virgil and Roman.”
The two Sides shared a look of surprise and Roman turned back to him, concerned, while Virgil looked suspiciously at Janus, probably wondering if he’d figured out how to make a body double and impersonate Logan.
Was his apologizing truly so out of character? “On the day of Joan and Talyn’s visit I treated your reactions to the thought of Thomas losing his powers as overly dramatic. I did not consider us actual people and therefore the idea of us ‘dying’ was laughable. After all, were we not just parts of Thomas? Nico helped me realize that we’re…that I’m not. That I am a person in my own right and it was overwhelming. You did not overreact, I underreacted, and for that I apologize.”
“Not a worry.” Roman didn’t look any less concerned. “But if that were all you wanted, you’d only have needed Virgil and my handsome self.”
“You are correct. There is something else. Something that is purely me and not at all Thomas. I had certain expectations of what I would be like, something I’m sure all of us have. And realizing I didn’t fit one of those expectations was hard to swallow. I will admit, I did briefly think less of myself. But I don’t think any of you would feel less of me and it’s important that I be honest with myself and all of you-”
“Logan, you sound like Thomas did when he was coming out to his friends,” Patton observed.
Logan thought for a minute. “I am,” he acknowledged. “And it makes sense that I am. I am coming out. I am not gay.
There was the sea of confused looks he expected. Thankfully nothing worse. Of course there was no reason for there to be worse. Was this another example of the irrationality of the human mind affecting him? He was anxious and he knew it was not Virgil's doing, just like his earlier denial hadn't been Janus.
Did he have his own version of Virgil and Janus? Was there a more academic Roman in his mind pushing his dreams of discovery and scientific success? Were the flashes of anger and jealousy he'd felt his own Remus? Would those come to life as well? Would-
"Logan, can you explain what you meant by that?" Thomas asked before his thoughts could spiral further.
Right. Matter at hand. "Yes. I have only just begun research into the matter, but it was enough to conclude the initial hypothesis. I do not feel romantic or sexual attraction at all."
Remus, of all people, gasped in shocked disbelief. "None. No sexual attraction at all. Not even a teeny bit? Not even Nico?"
"Not even Nico." Logan confirmed. "At most, there was a term I've come across in my research, queerplatonic, that may be appropriate. I haven’t had time to make study cards, so I may be misremembering." Huh. He hadn't anticipated Remus having a strong reaction. If any of them, he expected it out of Roman. But then again, Roman had been there when he'd denounced the value of romantic love. He'd already had a heads-up that Logan felt that way. But why then, did Remus seem so shocked when he barely seemed to care about anything they did?
And it was only on the sexual attraction part. As if Remus had no care for the romantic aspect of... Roman and Remus were twins created by Creativity being split in two. But Roman was more than Creativity. Might not the twins shared other split concepts between them? So where Roman was Romance, Remus may very well encompass Lust. And as an aspect of himself, he had trouble imagining others not having it. Roman was better socialized and understood how different Sides could be. Huh, add in 'socialize Remus' to the to-do list.
"Sex is what makes us human!" Remus wailed.
"No, Thomas's power is what makes us human." Logan corrected. "And even beyond that, it seems like an odd conclusion to come to as most other living creatures in this world rely on some means to share gametes. It is certainly not a human-exclusive phenomenon."
"Cooking!" Patton declared. "Humans are the only beings that cook, therefore cooking is what makes us human!"
"You are all missing the point!" Roman snapped, drawing everyone's attention. "Our dear sweet Loga-”
"I have never been described as sweet a day in my life," Logan cut in.
"Today you have! And we all remember what coming out was like for Thomas. It took a lot of courage. Courage that is to be celebrated!" Roman clapped his hands and the room suddenly became adorned with striped flags. Some with black, white, grey and purple, others black, white, grey and two shades of green.
Aromantic and Asexual pride flags. He'd seen them in his research. Logan felt a pressure in his throat. Was he ill after all? No, he'd just reset. Even if he had caught something it was too soon for it to manifest. "Thank you Roman. I must confess, being Thomas's romantic side, I thought you'd have more trouble with this than anyone."
Roman sighed fondly. "I will not claim to be able to understand it any more than you can understand my focus on romance. But understanding is not necessary for acceptance. You have discovered your truth and it is beautiful for no other reason than it being yours!"
“And you told all of us before you could even make flash cards.” Thomas’s voice was thick with emotion. “And I know how hard that is. I am so, so very proud of you, Logan.”
Logan ducked his head. “It was not courage, merely practicality. If I am different, then it stands to reason that one or more of the other might share a variance in romantic or sexual interests. It was terrifying to realize I was not what I thought I was,” Not just not gay, he was human. “And I thought knowing the possibility was there might help any others that came to the same realization.”
“Logan,” Thomas’s fond smile echoed Roman’s. Or was it the other way around? “That makes it even braver.”
Thomas then turned to the rest of the room. “And I want you guys to know, none of you need to out yourselves, but if you feel differently from me, that’s okay. I love and support you if any of you decide you’re ace, trans, or even straight.”
“As hard as it is to imagine any variant of Thomas interested in women,” Roman joked.
“Would,” was Remus’s only reply.
“Of course.” Roman pinched his nose.
“It does make a certain amount of sense,” Logan observed. “Remus is the keeper of things Thomas doesn’t like thinking about. The concept of sexual attraction to woman may be one of those things.”
“I can see where you’re coming from. But it’s a lot simpler than that.” Remus grinned a little too widely. “I just like sex and don’t particularly care what shaped body my partner has. I do kind of get you on the romance thing though, Nerdy Wolverine. Don’t see the appeal.”
“So Remus is Aromantic Bisexual.” Thomas noted.
“I consider myself more undiscerning, but if you have to put a label on it, sure, Bi works.” Remus said, airily.
Roman looked pained for a moment. “I wanted this to be a celebration of Logan, but fair is fair.” He then added a bi flag to ones already up.
“I… might be Ace?” Virgil admitted. “I mean, I definitely have romantic intentions towards Nico, but I’m honestly not sure about… you know. Can’t tell if I’m uninterested or just too nervous about that level of physical vulnerability.”
“It’s fine either way.” Nico assured him. “I love you. All of you. And I want to love you all the way you’re comfortable with, even if that means never getting physical, or even not dating at all.”
“Oh, thank goodness!”
The group turned to look at Patton, who was covering his own mouth in shock.
“I did that,” Janus announced, but the surprise clear on his face would have revealed the lie to even those who didn’t know about his need to.
“Oh goodness, I have no idea where that came from. Nico, I’m so sorry,” Patton fretted.
“It’s fine, Patton,” Nico assured.
“Need I remind you, this whole debacle started by my realization that I was Aromantic?” Logan pointed out. “Nico is very accommodating.”
“I know, but I really don’t know where that came from! I’ve been watching you with Thomas, Roman, and Virgil, and I’ve been so happy watching you boys together. But then you said we didn’t have to be dating and I was just… relieved.” Patton admitted.
Nico could understand that. He’d said many times he loved all of Thomas and he meant it each time. But seven boyfriends was…intimidating. Now he was down to three definite boyfriends, 2 platonic friends (or at least he was assuming from Patton’s reaction), one maybe (he’s yet to get anything resembling a clear answer out of Janus), and one who wanted a purely physical relationship that he was absolutely not ready for and… okay, it was still intimidating, but a little less so.
“To be perfectly honest, speaking as Thomas’s Romantic side, being completely happy watching from afar does carry with it the certain implication of not having any interest in joining in.” Roman pointed out. “During the event that will not be named, Thomas had no romantic attachment or interest in either party and yet… the word ‘content' could not apply. There was always a longing. One that has since been answered.” Roman smiled lovingly at Nico.
“You do not need to have an answer now, Patton,” Logan assured. “I merely wanted to raise the possibility so others would not get caught off guard, like I was. I know it is disconcerting. Though I intellectually know it is not of any major consequence, there’s still a part of my mind that feels this must be some flaw or error.”
In one smooth motion, Roman drew his sword. Nico started, but no one else did, far too used to the Prince’s overdramatics. Roman placed the sword tip down to the floor and kneeled in front of Logan as if he was kneeling before a king. “Though none can be called perfect, you are not flawed, not in this regard. Your identity is the divine truth of yourself and anyone who makes you feel lesser for it shall meet my blade.”
There was that strange feeling in his throat again. Was it an allergy? No, he wouldn’t have recovered as he did the prior time it happened. And there was nothing in the environment that wouldn’t have triggered it earlier or more consistently. Strange. He could think of no reason for this phenomenon. The only time he’d felt something like this as Thomas was when he was overcome with emotion, which was patently absurd, since as Logic he was beyond such things. They had no place in his function as one of Thomas’s Sides, in particular Logic, Knowledge, and Organization.
But… but that wasn’t true anymore, was it? He was, of course, still one of Thomas’s sides, but that was no longer all there was to him. He was human and as a human, emotions were… inherent. While he thought his earlier bout of nausea was just his system being overwhelmed with the new reality he found himself in, it was more likely the cause was his own emotions triggering it. The same with the two times Roman had taken action to support him beyond anything he’d expected and his throat had felt tight. He was having emotional responses and barely knew how to recognize them.
“I think I am starting to get overwhelmed.” The lightheaded feeling was returning, but thankfully not the nausea. “Nico, I hate to have to go against a schedule, but would you be alright with rescheduling our hang out? I think it would be best for me to let myself relax in the familiarity of Thomas’s subconscious until I have a better handle on things.” Logan didn’t even wait for a replay before he sunk out of sight faster than he ever had prior.
“Thomas, when the Sides are in your head, they can hear and see what you see, right?” Nico asked.
“Usually. But they can block things out if they want,” Thomas admitted.
“In the Mind Palace, yes, but not if we’re in your subconscious.” Patton explained. “When we’re in our Rooms or any part of the Mind Palace we kind of… just know what’s going on with you almost instinctively. But in the subconscious is the closest we get to just being you instead of us. We see through your eyes, hear through your ears, think your thoughts. If that’s where Logan went, he’s going to know everything you hear, even if he doesn’t really parse it separately from Thomas until he either goes back to his room or here.”
“Wait, that’s a thing?” Thomas sounded worried. “Could you guys, like, get lost in there?”
“Yes. It’s an ever looming threat. That’s why Logan was so eager to get there,” Janus said in the silky smooth tone that indicated a lie.
“It is fine for a while, but starts to get uncomfortable after a time.” Roman explained. “Eventually the discomfort is enough that it practically forces one out. He may be in there for the rest of the day, but not much longer than that.”
“So, I guess the answer to your question is ‘Yes’.” Thomas shrugged. “And I’m guessing you had something you wanted to say to him?”
“Yeah.” Nico took a deep breath and reached for Thomas’s hands. His fingers wanted to intertwine with Thomas’s on reflex, but he forced them to merely hold Thomas’s hands between them. It wasn’t his boyfriend he was addressing. He looked Thomas in the eye.
“Logan, I don’t mind at all having to reschedule. Today had a lot of things happen you didn’t expect and they took priority. I’d be happy to reschedule when you’re ready, but please don’t rush on my account. And if and when you’ve decided you do want a queerplatonic relationship, I’d be happy to be your partner. Being human is hard, even when you’ve been one your whole life. But it’s easier when you have people by your side to help you. And you’ve got all of us. It’s scary now. But you’re going to be okay.”
“We love you!” Patton joined in and pulled Thomas and Nico into a group hug. “We love you so much and we’re so proud of you.”
“Ever shall we be stalwart companions on your quest to understand yourself!” Roman declared, joining in the hug.
“You did the important thing.” Virgil awkwardly patted Thomas on the back.
“Me too, I want to support Nerdy Wolverine too!” Remus jumped into the hug.
“Brother, if you try to use this opportunity to grope our beloved Nico, I will relieve you of your hand,” Roman warned.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” Remus grinned and Virgil inserted himself underneath Remus’s arm, just in case.
“Yes, very good.” Janus reached over and gently patted Thomas’s head.
And Thomas stood in the center of it, taking in affection that wasn’t really meant for him and hoping Logan understood how much they all treasured him.
~
Logan shifted to his room as Thomas began to get ready for bed. Despite the debacle earlier, today had ended up being a rather productive one. Thomas had decided as a way to make him feel better, he would adhere to one of Logan’s schedules and even managed to get ahead of it. He’d spent the day doing chores that had prior been a trial and a half to get him to do. Nico had offered help, but Thomas insisted it would mean more to Logan if he did it himself. Which Logan had to think about for a moment. Which was more important, the efficiency of getting more work done, or knowing Thomas was putting in the effort solely for him?
He decided on the latter. Nico’s aid would have been an improvement for this one time. But Thomas seeing what he was capable of when he put his mind to it could be inspirational for far longer.
However, Nico had still helped in his own way. While Thomas worked, the two of them discussed ideas and scripts for upcoming videos, mentally getting ahead on Thomas’s work schedule as well as his cleaning one.
Logan readied himself for bed, but debated trying to stay up. In the past that had been impossible in the Mind Palace. Once sleep claimed Thomas, the rest would follow automatically. Or so he’d though. Learning Virgil had been the sole exception due to his own nature as anxiety that kept him awake. But now that Logan had to suffer the indignity of having human emotions, perhaps his own worries could allow him to resist? A controlled experiment might be just what he needed-
What was on his bed?
His bed had been flawlessly made when he left it this morning. Someone had been in his room. Annoyed, he took a closer look and saw a small box, a rubix cube, and two pieces of paper.
The first just said ‘You’re our Space ACE, Logan,” and had a crudely drawn picture of himself against a star. Patton’s work, no doubt. If the art skills hadn’t given it away, the pun would have. Logan would never be a fan of Patton’s puns and Dad jokes. But he could at least appreciate Patton was trying to say he was important.
The second was one of his index cards, on which was written ‘You chose to break things in the most boring way. But you broke things and even gave me a scare, so props to you. Brought you something to try and change your mind though.’ There was tape on the back of the note as if it were attached to something, but nothing was there but threads. Both faint threads of imagination, meaning the gift giver was likely Remus, and yellow threads matching Janus’s gloves, showing who had removed said gift. Given that said gift sounded like something trying to convince Logan not to be asexual, he’d consider Janus’s actions a favor.
Though apparently the idea of someone completely unaffected and uninterested in carnal desires was enough to frighten Remus, furthering the theory that he embodied Thomas’s Lust as well as simply sex as forbidden thoughts. That could have some interesting potential. He’d look in on it later.
Of the two remaining objects, Logan reached for the familiar one. Logan enjoyed rubix cubes and Patton had made more than one for him when trying to distract him from disagreements with Roman about where Thomas’s priorities should lie. (They at least had more dignity than the coloring books he gave Roman, in Logan’s humble opinion.) Logan tried to shuffle the cube, only for it to split apart and twist in ways he wasn’t expecting, though the shape and clicking of the cube components was the same. On closer inspection what he thought was a rubix cube was actually a fidget device made to look like one. A tool to manage stress taking the form of something comforting and familiar. This wasn’t Patton’s doing. This had Virgil’s name all over it.
The final package also felt like it came from the Imagination, though its more orderly presentation pointed to it being Roman’s creation. Likely something overblown or dramatic, knowing him.
Logan opened the box and stared at the contents. Inside were two small tie-pins. Both were sterling silver with a miniscule glass ball on the end containing swirling colors reminiscent of the planet Jupiter. One in Ace Pride Colors, and one in Aromantic. They were simple, practically understated for Roman. They were practical. They were…
They were perfect.
Logan was Aromantic. Romantic love was a foreign concept to him, something he could never feel or understand. But there were many different kinds of love. It was a fact he knew intellectually, but never internalized. But today, right now, he did.
Because Logan never felt more loved or seen than he had in this moment.