Archive of Our Own

Buck never questioned the fact that Eddie was his best friend. There were great friends and then there was Eddie, on top of the metaphorical friendship pyramid. He had been sitting there for six years now, not even 24 hours after they met, the throne was his and his only.

But he never really thought about it the other way around. Was Buck Eddie’s best friend?

Did Eddie think of him like that?

Look, Buck knew that Eddie didn’t have a friend as close to him as Buck is, here in LA, but he subconsciously believed that maybe Eddie had a best friend that he never talked about, somewhere in the world.

He just couldn’t process the thought that he could be someone’s top one. First choice, you know? He never was that.

Not before Eddie.

But now Eddie’s making new friends.

Well, Eddie’s talking to that Tommy pilot guy.

And Buck liked Tommy at first, but, come on, man, he can’t keep taking Eddie from him.

“Tommy asked me if my dad likes guys.”

Buck blinked, slowly putting down the spatula and wiping his hands on the apron before turning around and meeting Christopher’s gaze.

Eddie had asked him to watch Chris today so he could hang out with Tommy, ha, what a blow to the chest. Look, Buck loved Chris so much, Chris was like his own kid. He always feels bad when he thinks that, guilty, because Chris isn’t his. He would never be his.

Well. Unless Eddie died. Then Chris would be his, legally. But Chris is Eddie’s. Eddie’s and his future wife’s or girlfriend’s or whatever. Not Buck’s. You can’t just share a kid with your best friend.

So Buck’s sort of like an uncle who’s not really an uncle because he’s not family.

“Buck.”

Buck shook his head, focusing on Chris and not whatever mental breakdown he’s surely gonna have when he goes home tonight.

He’s been really overthinking everything lately.

Mostly his and Eddie’s friendship.

They don’t really hang out anymore.

Because now there’s fucking Tommy and Eddie likes Tommy.

Maybe he likes him better than Buck.

What sucks the most is that Tommy does everything that Buck had always said ‘no’ to.

He wishes that he’d said yes to fucking basketball. Buck hates basketball with his whole being, bad high school experience, but he’d play, for Eddie.

Now Tommy wants to play. Eddie has it circled in his calendar.

Just like he used to circle ‘Buck nights’.

“Right, um.” He cleared his throat, looking behind his shoulder to check on the pancakes before turning back to Chris. “Tommy asked you if your dad likes guys?”

Chris nodded, wiping his glasses on his shirt. “I said I don’t really know.”

Buck only nodded, his brain not being able to take in the thought— the chance that Eddie could be into guys.

“I, uh…I don’t know, I don’t think so.” Buck shook his head, giving Chris a tight smile and turning back to the pancakes.

Why would Tommy ask that? Why would he wanna know Eddie’s sexuality? And why ask Chris and not Eddie if they’re such good friends now?

Well, not even Buck has ever had the courage to ask Eddie about his sexuality, the sexuality talk is always awkward.

Once in high school, he had a girlfriend that was openly bisexual, pride parades, flags and pins everywhere. And she said she was ‘noticing’ things about him. Basically all she was doing was questioning his sexuality even more than Buck was. It was…uncomfortable.

As if checking out a guy’s ass makes you half gay.

Anyway.

Weird that Tommy would ask that. Was he homophobic?

Was he—

“Wait.” Buck turned back around, making Chris raise a questioning brow. “Did he say why he was asking that?”

Chris shrugged. “I think he likes dad.”

Buck blinked.

It was said so casually. Like discussing the fucking weather and not…whatever they were just discussing.

Wait.

So. This whole thing with Eddie and Tommy was, what, Tommy hitting on Eddie?

Did Eddie know?

Did Eddie…like it?

What if he did?

What if this was it?

Tommy and Eddie.

He wasn’t just taking Buck’s place in Eddie’s life, he was pushing him back and wiggling his boney ass into the space between Buck and Eddie.

Now Buck was reduced to babysitting duty.

“When did he ask you that?”

Chris put his phone down, squinting at him. “Like two days ago? Why?”

Buck shook his head, plating up the pancakes, glad that he had something to do with his hands.

He let out a deep breath, sitting down and pushing the pancakes towards Chris, watching him eagerly pick up the knife and fork and cut into the food.

Buck felt like a spoon in this Eddie and Tommy situation, useless.

Eddie was the fork, stabbing Buck right in the heart and Tommy was the knife, cutting him out of Eddie’s life.

Woah, that was dark.

Buck wasn’t, like, being homophobic or anything, okay?

He can admit that he might be feeling a little territorial but he’s anything but homophobic.

Buck is an ally. Always has been.

If Eddie likes guys, cool.

But he can pick someone else. Buck thinks that he could do better than Tommy.

“Chris?”

“Yeah?” Chris looked up from the food, speaking around a mouthful.

Buck took a deep breath, fidgeting with his fingers. “How, um…How would you react? If your dad started dating…uh…”

“Tommy?”

Buck cringed at that.

Ew.

“No. I mean, like, in general.” He cleared his throat, staring at his hands. “If he started dating a guy.”

Chris was silent for a moment before putting the cutlery down. “I just want him to be happy.”

Buck felt his heart clench.

“I like Marisol but…I don’t know. I think dad is a little scared of girls.”

Buck let out a soft snort at that. “They can be pretty intimidating sometimes.” He smiled, finally looking up, catching Chris already looking at him.

“Buck?”

“Yeah?”

Chris bit the inside of his cheek, tilting his head. “You know it’s okay, right?”

Buck gulped. “Is— is what okay?”

Chris opened his mouth.

Keys.

“Hey, we’re home!”

We’re. Home.

We. Are. Home.

We.

As in a pair.

Two people.

Home.

Buck stood up, taking off the apron and throwing it over the chair. When he turned around, Tommy was putting beers into the fridge and grabbing an apple from the bowl of fruit on the kitchen counter, acting as if he was…at home.

Buck didn’t know why he was feeling this territorial, so jealous that he felt sick just seeing Tommy’s face.

His ears were ringing, his hands shaking. He needed to get out of there.

“Thanks for watching him, really.” Eddie smiled at him, clapping a hand onto his shoulder. He looked so relaxed, so happy.

I just want him to be happy.

Yeah, Buck wanted that, too.

It fucking hurt.

“Anytime.” He whispered, pulling away.

“You wanna stay for a beer?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, we promised this little guy we’ll watch Spiderman.” The ugly old guy said, ruffling Chris’ hair.

Chris smiled.

“No, uh…” Buck shook his head, grabbing his keys. “I, uh, gotta go.” He nodded to himself, giving Eddie a tight smile and making Eddie’s expression drop.

What the fuck was he doing?

He was ruining everything. Eddie was smiling two seconds ago.

“Are you o—“

“I’ll see you at work.” Buck cut him off, putting on his jacket and opening the front door. He paused, looking at Eddie, then at Chris and then looking away. “You, uh…enjoy the night.”

“Bye.” Tommy said.

“Text me when you get home, yeah?” Eddie asked, walking over to him, holding the door open.

“Yeah.” Buck nodded and walked out.

He cried to ‘Mr. Brightside’ on the way home.

—

Buck hates Google.

What do you mean he spent two hours on it?

He looked up one question and then kept clicking on questions he didn’t even know he was dying to ask, answers he needed to know.

He’s been in his head a lot lately, ever since that night when Chris told him Tommy likes Eddie.

And then Eddie and Marisol broke up and Buck got scared.

Okay, maybe scared isn’t the right word, he’s been really bad with words lately, he feels like everything he says to Eddie is just nonsense. Or maybe just not the right thing to say.

He knows he’s acting weird, even Chimney noticed and had Maddie interrogate him. She left his apartment even more confused than she was when she got there.

Yeah, Buck felt very much confused himself.

He had questions, lots of them.

So he googled.

And his phone is really overheated now and he definitely needs to charge it but he just can’t stop clicking and reading and overthinking everything.

It started with a simple question of ‘how to tell if your guy best friend likes guys’, then it progressed into something Buck didn’t expect.

Because first, he was reading about Eddie. About what he might be feeling. Reading about sexuality.

Then he was reading about himself.

It was the same article.

That was over an hour ago.

He has done at least ten sexuality quizzes, created a Reddit account and managed to completely forget about the biggest problem until it showed up at the firehouse.

“Hey, no problem, Diaz.” He heard. “It happens.”

And then the old greasy boney assed guy was gone.

Buck kept his eyes on Eddie as he came back upstairs. Buck’s phone vibrated, a notification that his phone is now 20%. “What was that?”

Eddie held up a charger.

Oh, you have something I need.

“Forgot this at Tommy’s.” Eddie smiled.

“You were at his place?”

“Yeah, with Chris.” Eddie nodded, sitting down next to Buck on the couch and leaning back. “You should’ve seen it there, Buck, it was like…” He bit his bottom lip. “Picture your loft, just…bigger and fancier looking.” He bit into a protein bar. “Like a magazine apartment.”

Of course.

“Yeah, Tommy is just better at everything, isn’t he.” Buck muttered, clicking on ‘low power mode’.

“Hey, what is up with you? I thought you liked him.”

Buck let out a tired sigh, closing all his open tabs and deleting the search history, just in case. “He’s fine.” He muttered, looking at the coffee table where Eddie put his charger.

It was a stupid thing, two months ago, he wouldn’t have even asked and just borrowed it and now…

He swallowed, getting up and walking downstairs to grab his charger from his locker.

—

Buck wasn’t expecting any visitors at 7:40pm on a day off. He was currently making a dent in his ice cream and two minutes from ordering takeout.

He was an emotional eater, literally who isn’t?

And then there was a knock, little hesitant, as if the person behind the door changed their mind and didn’t want to bother him anymore. Or maybe they just knocked by mistake, mistook his door for someone else’s. It happens.

Buck almost went back to picking out the sauces but he heard a soft thud, didn’t sound like knuckles against the wood.

He got up, paused his tv show and opened the door, face to face with Eddie. “Eddie?”

Eddie looked…flushed? Not like he ran up the stairs, more like as if he saw something he shouldn’t have. He didn’t say anything, he just looked at Buck, eyes a little wide, desperate for something.

Buck stepped back, letting him in. “…You have a key, why didn’t you just come in?”

Eddie looked around before walking into the living room area and dropping onto the couch, picking up Buck’s ice cream and diving in.

Buck just stood there, confused.

Why wasn’t Eddie saying anything?

Was he here to let Buck know that he doesn’t need him anymore?

Buck wouldn’t be surprised.

“Is…everything okay?” He whispered, sitting down next to Eddie. “Where’s Chris?”

“With Pepa.”

Buck nodded, letting out a sigh and turning off the tv. Maybe Eddie was waiting for Buck to bring it up. “Okay…” He cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. “So…You’re probably here to tell me something, hm?”

Wait.

The key.

Maybe Eddie didn’t come in because he wants to give Buck back his key, maybe make room for Tommy’s key. Maybe he wants Buck to give back Eddie’s key.

“Did you know Tommy is gay?”

What?

Eddie looked over at him, Buck couldn’t read his expression.

Is that how it’s gonna be now? He can’t even fucking tell what his best friend is feeling.

“Uh…” Buck swallowed and shook his head. “No.”

“Well.” Eddie ate the last bit of ice cream, setting the tub onto the coffee table. “He is. He asked me if I was okay with it and, of course, I said that I am.”

Buck only hummed, pulling one knee to his chest. He didn’t want to jump into conclusions here, didn’t want to say the wrong thing, so he just listened.

“I…” Eddie shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “I had this…feeling…” He put his hands down, sighing. “But I didn’t want to be the person who jumps to conclusions.”

Buck held his breath.

“I…And then, um. He kissed me.” Eddie whispered, looking at Buck, as if pleading for him to understand.

Buck felt so tired.

He wanted to cry.

He wanted Eddie to….well, he just wanted Eddie.

“Oh.” He breathed out, nodding. “He did, huh?”

Eddie nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. “Yeah. And I…” He huffed. “It kind of…forced me to think about some things.”

“Yeah?” Buck gave him a soft smile.

He wanted to die.

“Well, I support you.” Buck whispered. “No matter what, you’re my best friend.”

“Yeah?” Eddie asked, hopeful.

Buck nodded, standing up on shaky legs and grabbing the empty tub of ice cream, throwing it into the trash can in the kitchen and leaning against the counter.

“I still don’t know what to call it, you know? It’s all very new and confusing and everything.” Eddie let out a shaky laugh.

Buck closed his eyes, his knuckles turning white from how hard he was gripping the counter.

He wished he could go back in time and…maybe realize sooner. It would be so easy, loving Eddie.

It is so easy.

It just hurts right now.

“…Do you want a beer?”

“Uh…Nah, I think I’m gonna go pick Chris up. I need to talk to him.” Eddie said.

Buck wiped his face and turned around, giving Eddie his signature grin. “Well, you go do that.” He nodded, his face hurting.

Eddie smiled back, soft, hesitant. “Hey, Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you. You really are my best friend.” Eddie waved, shutting the door behind him.

Buck felt the smile on his face slowly drop. “You’re mine, too.” He whispered to the empty room.

—

The next shift, Eddie was…vibrant.

It was like he turned up the saturation all the way up overnight. He looked good, really. Buck doesn’t think he’s ever seen him this…free.

It was a very good look on him and Buck hated himself for hating it because, clearly, Eddie was happy.

But Buck wasn’t the person who was making him happy.

Tommy was.

Yesterday, after Eddie left, Buck forced himself to sit alone with his thoughts.

He needed to learn how to survive this.

He had to tell himself that Tommy actually is a really nice guy and Buck used to have no problems with him, well, before the whole Eddie thing.

Well, now things are going to be different and Buck needs to teach himself how to handle it.

He tried to picture it, Chris, Eddie and Tommy as a family.

He didn’t let himself cry, tears wouldn’t help him. Tears wouldn’t change this.

Hey, at least he now knows that he’s definitely Eddie’s best friend.

That’s nice.

He still wished he could turn back time. Because what do you mean, that potentially could’ve been Buck and not Tommy?

If only Buck realized sooner.

Now, he’s washing the engine, Eddie helping, because it wouldn’t be them if they didn’t turn a one person job into a two person job.

“So, I told Chris yesterday.”

“How’d he take it?” Buck asked.

Eddie snorted, his cheeks a pretty pink. “Told me he suspected. That I was being very obvious. He was a little shit about it but I think he’s okay with it.”

Buck nodded, leaning against the engine. “Well, you raised him right.”

Eddie nodded. “You helped.”

Buck cleared his throat, dropping his sponge into the bucket. “I’m gonna— I’ll be right back.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Buck smiled, walking towards the bathroom.

He locked himself in one of the stalls, sinking down onto the floor and trying to remember any breathing exercises.

He tried to breathe slowly, the tension behind his eyes turning into tears. He didn’t hold it back this time, he let himself cry.

He can get through this. Eddie isn’t going anywhere, he’s not pushing Buck away, it’s okay. Everything is okay.

He had to put a hand over his mouth, curling in on himself as he let out a small whimper.

He didn’t want to make any noise, what if someone walked in and found him? How would he explain that?

After some time, he caught his breath. He wasn’t being hysterical anymore, he was just sitting there, head resting against the closed toilet lid, face wet.

He felt numb.

Well, not really, he just felt so tired of dealing with all these complex emotions. It wasn’t fun.

He was so tired, he wanted some rest, a vacation, he needed to get as far as possible from his own brain.

He cried some more because he knew that wasn’t possible.

“Hey, Buckaroo, you in there?”

Buck froze, getting off the floor and sitting down onto the toilet seat, checking his reflection in his phone camera so that he could make himself look like he didn’t just spend however long in here crying. “I didn’t hear the bell…?”

“Not why I’m here.” Chimney said, voice light. Then there was some shuffling. Buck could picture him there, leaning against the wall, hands in his pockets, legs crossed at the ankles. “You bailed on Diaz there, a little.”

Buck cleared his throat, looking down at his hands. “I’m fine.”

“Sure.”

Buck huffed, shaking his head.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, nobody tells me shit around here.” Chimney tsk-ed. “Guess I’m not a good secret keeper but I will try.”

“Chim, really, it’s nothing.”

“What, so you’re just taking a shit there?”

Buck felt his lips twitch up into a half smile. “Yeah, exactly.”

Chimney was quiet for a while. “Is it about Tommy?”

Buck frowned. “How do you…?”

“Look, Buck, Eddie is allowed to have other friends, you know that, right? It doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about you.”

Buck took a deep breath. He was really itching to wash his face but he didn’t want Chim to see him like this. “I do know that. It’s really not just that.”

“Then what is it?” Chimney asked, waiting.

“…I can’t.” Buck swallowed. “I can’t say it.”

He didn’t get a response.

“Chim?”

“You like him, don’t you?”

Buck opened his mouth to protest but then decided not to. He sighed and unlocked the door, kicking it open and making Chim curse, poor guy probably hadn’t expected that.

“Well?” Chimney prodded, nodding over at Buck, taking in his face. “…Look, I don’t think Tommy is worth crying over.”

Buck snorted, fidgeting with his fingers. “You’re just biased.”

“He’s a jerk.”

“He saved Bobby and Athena.”

“He made you cry.”

Buck smiled, wiping his face. “Thanks, Chim.”

Chimney frowned. “For?”

Buck shrugged. “Just…for noticing, I guess.”

Chimney hummed, smiling. He pushed himself off the wall and tapped light on the stall next to Buck’s. “Go wash your face and then finish your chores.”

Buck nodded. “Alright, mom.”

—

“We should take you to a gay bar.” Was the first thing Buck heard when he left the bathroom.

The energy in the bathroom had a stark contrast to the energy in here.

Bobby, Chimney, Ravi and Hen were all crowded around Eddie, everyone was smiling, Eddie was vibrating, in a good way.

He looked really happy, even better than before Buck left to cry.

Buck let out a deep breath. He could do this. He could suffer a little if it means getting to see Eddie look like that.

Eddie’s eyes met his and his gaze softened. He left the rainbow circle and walked up to him, hand on Buck’s shoulder. “You okay?”

Buck nodded.

Eddie bit his bottom lip, looking over his shoulder. “I, uh…” He smiled, looking back at Buck and letting his hand slide to his bicep, squeezing. “I think I just came out.”

Buck swallowed, smiling. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded, squeezing Buck’s arm again. “They wanna take me out to a gay bar.” He laughed. “Even Bobby might come. You, um…you wanna come?”

Buck blinked. “Me?”

“Everyone is going.”

“Is Tommy going?”

Eddie gave him a weird look.

And then the bell rang and everyone quickly got into action.

—

The end of the shift was quiet, everyone was tired and excited to go home and get some well deserved sleep.

Eddie was still vibrating.

“Hey.” Buck smiled, leaning against his locker and looking down as Eddie tried to tie his shoes. “You need help?”

Eddie snorted, looking up at him. “I think I’ll manage.” He said, fingers shaking.

Buck huffed, putting his duffel bag onto the bench and kneeling down to tie Eddie’s shoelaces.

Eddie let him, taking a deep breath. “I feel really…right? Like I’m not hiding anymore.”

Buck looked up at him.

“I didn’t even know I was hiding.” Eddie whispered. “I genuinely thought I liked women. Things…you know, sex and stuff, it felt normal because that’s literally all I’ve ever known.”

Buck finished tying Eddie’s other shoe and sat down on the floor, propping his legs onto the bench and giving Eddie his full attention.

“I sort of envy the people that just know right away.” Eddie whispered.

Buck knew exactly what Eddie meant. “Well, you know now.”

“Yeah.” Eddie nodded, eyes on Buck, his soft expression shifting into something deeper. “Hey, you, uh…when we were washing the engine….what was that?”

Buck froze.

Well, it’s not like he expected Eddie not to notice.

“I, uh…” He shook his head. “Look, it’s really nothing you have to worry about. I’m happy you’re happy.”

“You’d tell me if anything was happening?”

“Of course.” Buck smiled. “What are best friends for?”

Eddie smiled, getting up. “So…Tuesday, around eight-ish?”

Buck raised a brow.

“The gay bar.” Eddie whispered, voice filled with wonder, as if he still couldn’t believe this was real, this was his life. “I’ll pick you up? Or we could do a movie with Chris before that, haven’t done that in a while.”

Oh?

“Yeah.” Buck nodded, a genuine smile spreading across his face. “Movie sounds good.”

“Good.” Eddie smiled. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

—

When Tuesday came, Buck was really close to a full on emotional meltdown. Because what if Tommy was there? Hm?

What if this was just a plan to include Buck but…with Tommy there?

What if Eddie wanted Buck to ‘officially’ meet Tommy as his boyfriend?

What if Tommy goes to the bar with them?

Well, Buck had a plan.

A simple one, really.

He would set an alarm for ten minutes and pretend it’s an important call and that he has to go. That would be, if Tommy was there.

If he’s not, well, then Buck will simply turn off the alarm.

Easy.

He got there at 5:28 and rang the bell.

The door opened and something hit his face. “Wha–?”

“Glad you’re here. I have no idea how to cook a chicken.”

Buck blinked at Eddie and then looked down to the thing that was thrown at him. It was an apron. “Why the hell are you cooking a chicken?”

“You’re bulking, you need protein.” Eddie waved him off, walking into the kitchen.

Buck stood in the doorway for a little moment, smiling down at the apron in his hands.

Eddie was cooking for him?

Well, now Buck has to cook for himself but, still.

He snorted, gently shutting the door and following after Eddie. “Chris in his room?”

“Yeah, he’s on a call with Denny, he’ll come out in a bit.” Eddie said, staring at the oven as if it personally offended him. “Uh…”

Buck gently bumped him with his hip, taking his jacket off and putting the apron on. “Get out of my kitchen.”

Eddie raised his hands in surrender, hopping up to sit on the counter and watch.

And then Buck’s fucking phone went off. “Jesus.” He huffed, pulling it out of his pocket and turning off the alarm.

Eddie only smiled at him.

Buck expected it to be at least a little awkward now. Things were different but suddenly it felt like everything was back to normal.

They talked about unimportant things, nothing deep.

Eddie didn’t even mention Tommy.

But Buck was curious.

“So where is he?”

Eddie furrowed his brows. “What? Chris is in his room?”

“No, I mean…” Buck shrugged, putting the chicken into the oven. “Tommy.”

“I don’t know.”

Oh?

Buck furrowed his brows, taking off the apron and handing it to Eddie who put it back into the drawer where it belonged. “Did you guys fight or something?”

“Hm.” Eddie bit his bottom lip. “Or something.”

“Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Eddie snorted.

Buck was really confused. “I thought—“

“We’re gonna watch Iron Man, okay?” Chris called out, cutting Buck off.

“Okay, Chris.” Eddie called back, hopping off the counter and side stepping Buck to grab a bag of popcorn and throw it into the microwave. “This I can cook.” He grinned at Buck.

He burned the popcorn.

—

The chicken was ready around halfway through the movie so they ate while sitting down on the floor in front of the television.

“It’s really good.” Eddie commented, standing up and going for a second plate.

Buck turned towards Christopher. “Hey, uh…what happened with Tommy?”

“What? He kissed dad.”

“Yeah, but…” Buck looked towards the kitchen and then back at Chris. “Are th—“

“Hen and Karen are gonna be here in ten!” Eddie called out, coming back with his plate full. “Hen said Karen’s bringing makeup.”

Chris snorted. “You’re gonna be real princesses.”

Eddie turned to Buck, giving him a look that said ‘can you believe that?’

Buck gave him a tight smile, standing up and walking into the kitchen to wash his plate.

So.

Tommy isn’t here, him and Eddie had a falling out.

What the fuck was going on? Buck was going into this completely unprepared. He ran through a million different scenarios in his head but all of them had Tommy there as Eddie’s love interest.

And now Tommy’s…what?

“Buck?”

Buck turned around, seeing Eddie with Christopher’s empty plate. He swallowed. “What happened after he kissed you?”

Eddie flushed, setting the plate into the sink. He took a deep breath, leaning against the counter and looking straight at Buck. “I froze.” He shrugged. “I mean, I sensed that he was going to do it but my brain just…couldn’t handle the thought of me kissing a guy, at first.”

“Did you kiss him back?”

Eddie looked down at his feet, as if embarrassed. “Yeah, for a little while.”

Buck nodded, chewing at the inside of his cheek. “And then?”

“And then I stopped.” Eddie snorted. “I mean, at first it was just that I really needed some time to figure myself out. Well, figure out the most important part.”

“And then you came to me?” Buck whispered.

“Mhm.”

“And Tommy just…what, hasn’t reached out since then?”

Eddie nodded. “Pretty much. He texted me to say sorry and then just disappeared. Guess he couldn’t settle for just a friendship.”

Buck didn’t get that. “Well, his loss.”

Eddie smiled and then turned around at the sound of a car parking. “Guess they’re here.”

—

“I don’t think that’s enough glitter.” Buck said, leaning against the doorway as he watched Karen press glitter to Eddie’s cheekbones. “Did you put blush on him?”

“I didn’t, that’s all him.”

Eddie looked over at him, smiling.

Buck almost blurted it out then and there.

“Do you want eyeliner?” Karen asked Eddie, turning his face from side to side.

“No, I think this is good.” Eddie nodded, looking at himself in the mirror. “Feels like I’m getting ready for a birthday party.”

“Well, you were kind of reborn.” Karen smiled, patting his cheek. “Welcome to the club.”

Eddie snorted at that, standing up and pushing Buck into the seat.

—

Buck wasn’t prepared for Eddie’s outfit.

It wasn’t exactly anything fancy, it was just…clothes. On Eddie. A pair of black fitted jeans and a sleeveless shirt, unbuttoned at the top.

Buck had some thoughts.

He didn’t want to share them with the class, thank you very much.

“What do you think?” Eddie asked with a shy smile, doing a little spin.

Buck nodded, taking a shaky breath and crossing his arms. “Well. It’s, um…great. Yeah, it’s…great.”

Eddie snorted, picking up his leather jacket. “Alright, let’s go.”

—

The club was a religious experience.

Buck couldn’t keep his eyes off Eddie the whole time they were there.

At first, Eddie was just looking around, observing, taking it all in but at the end of the night, he was dancing, flirting, smiling and having fun.

Buck was so in love, it was sickening.

“That your boyfriend?” The bartender nodded towards the crowd of dancing people, Eddie dancing with his arms up in the air, shining brighter than the disco ball on the ceiling.

“Oh, uh, no.” Buck flushed, sipping on his drink. “Best friend.”

Bobby and Athena left ten minutes ago and Chim and Ravi bailed on them, so now Eddie was dancing with Hen and Karen and Buck was taking a little break, his leg was killing him.

“Ah, the best friend. At least he’s not straight, eh?” The bartender smiled, mixing a drink for another customer.

“Hey.” Eddie came up to him, breathless from all the dancing, clapping a hand onto Buck’s thigh and gulping down his water. “Hen and Karen are gonna go. How’s your leg?”

“Uh…” Buck nodded. “Fine…a little sore.”

Eddie frowned a little, his hand still resting there, thumb brushing absently against Buck’s jeans. “I’m gonna call an uber, you wanna sleep over?”

Buck looked down at Eddie’s hand and then back up at Eddie. “Yeah, okay.”

—

Eddie unlocked the door, stepping in and kicking off his shoes. “I’m gonna check on Chris.” He whispered.

Buck nodded, following after him and softly shutting the door.

He sat down on the couch and rubbed his face as he tried to sort through his thoughts. Tonight turned out way better than expected.

Tommy is out of the picture and now Buck can…

Yeah. What the fuck is he supposed to do now?

This is what he wanted, no? To have Eddie all to himself.

But now he’s fucking terrified of disrupting what they have. Eddie is so happy. Buck doesn’t want to ruin that.

“He’s asleep, you wanna take a shower? I’ll get you some clothes.” Eddie whispered, putting a hand on Buck’s shoulder, eyes still smiling.

Buck could never let himself ruin something so precious. “Yeah, thanks.” He smiled, getting up.

—

Eddie insisted on sleeping on the bed, both of them, like, together, on one single bed. Eddie’s bed. In Eddie’s room.

Buck was lying on a fucking bed with Eddie just a couple of inches away from him.

It was totally fine. Everything was perfect. They’d done this before. Plenty of times.

Back when Buck wasn’t painfully aware of every inch of Eddie’s body next to his.

Back when Eddie’s leg brushing his under the blanket didn’t make his brain short-circuit.

People slept on beds all the time. This was normal. Friends shared beds.

Best friends.

Buck stared up at the ceiling, hands folded over his stomach like he was attending his own funeral.

“You’re thinking too loud.” Eddie whispered.

Buck startled slightly, turning his head.

Eddie was facing him, one arm tucked under the pillow, eyes half-lidded in the dim light spilling through the window. “Spill.”

Buck let out a quiet, nervous laugh and rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s nothing.”

Which was a lie.

It was about seventeen different things, actually.

“It’s not nothing.”

Buck swallowed.

God, Eddie knew him too well.

“It’s just been a long day.” Buck said finally, aiming for casual and landing somewhere around exhausted.

Eddie went quiet for a second before taking a slow breath and rolling onto his back. “…Does it make you uncomfortable?”

Buck blinked. “What?”

“Just…” Eddie’s voice was quieter now. Buck could hear the subtle rustle of sheets as Eddie fidgeted beside him. “Everything changed so suddenly. And…I don’t know.”

Buck turned fully onto his side before he could think better of it.

Now Eddie was right there.

Close enough that Buck could see the crease between his eyebrows. Close enough to see the glitter still clinging stubbornly to his cheekbones. Close enough to see the reflection of the streetlamp in his eyes.

He was so unfairly pretty.

Buck felt something twist painfully in his chest. “Eddie.” He said softly. “I’m not uncomfortable, okay?”

Eddie didn’t look convinced. “But you’ve been…” He searched for the word, eyes flicking over Buck’s face like he was trying to read something written there. “…I don’t know. You’ve been acting weird lately.”

Yeah.

No shit.

Buck forced a small smile. “But that has nothi—”

“No.” Eddie turned his head on the pillow to look directly at him. “Don’t say it has nothing to do with me, Buck. I know when you’re lying.”

Buck exhaled slowly.

Of course he did.

There was probably no one on the planet who knew Buck better than Eddie Diaz. Which was deeply unfortunate considering Buck was currently trying very hard to not fuck this up.

Buck stared at the wall for a long moment, buying himself time.

Okay.

Partial truth.

Partial truths were safe.

“When I was here with Chris…” Buck started slowly. “He told me Tommy asked about you.”

Eddie shifted slightly beside him. “About what?”

“If you like guys.”

The silence that followed was heavy but not uncomfortable.

Just…full.

Buck rubbed his thumb against the edge of the blanket nervously. “And, uh…” He continued. “I kinda started googling stuff.”

Eddie made a quiet sound that might’ve been a laugh.

Buck huffed softly. “Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Google and I are very close now.”

“What stuff?” Eddie asked.

Buck stared at the ceiling again.

“Sexuality stuff.” He admitted. “Like…how people figure it out. Signs and whatever.” He paused, then shrugged a shoulder. “And I found some things that applied to me.”

That was the understatement of the century.

Eddie suddenly pushed himself up onto one elbow. “Why didn’t you say something?”

Buck glanced at him.

Eddie looked…surprised. Not upset. Just genuinely confused.

Buck shrugged again. “Well…” He said lightly. “You sort of beat me to it.”

Eddie blinked. Then a quiet, disbelieving laugh escaped him as he dropped back onto the pillow. “So we both…” He trailed off. “Wow.”

Buck smiled faintly, dragging a hand down his face.

It felt weird now.

Eddie knew.

Not everything, obviously. Buck wasn’t about to confess that ninety percent of his recent existential crisis had Eddie’s name written all over it.

But still.

He felt…lighter.

And also absolutely terrifying.

“Yeah.” Buck said quietly.

They lay there in silence for a moment.

Then—

“…Were you flirting with that bartender?”

Buck’s brain completely derailed. “What?”

He turned his head so fast he almost gave himself whiplash.

Eddie was looking at him again, expression suspiciously neutral.

Buck squinted at him. “No.” He said slowly. “You’ll know when I’m flirting.”

Eddie’s eyebrow lifted slightly. “Oh, is that so?”

Buck suddenly became very aware of the fact that they were lying face-to-face in Eddie’s bed.

Very aware.

Too aware.

Abort mission.

Buck quickly rolled onto his other side, presenting Eddie with his back.

“Go to sleep, Eddie.”

Behind him, Eddie snorted.

The mattress shifted slightly as he settled in.

“Goodnight, Buck.”

Buck stared at the wall for another ten minutes.

Sleep did not come quickly.

—

Buck woke up to an empty bed.

It’s not like he expected something grand, something that happened in the movies.

He wasn’t stupid, he knew that he wouldn’t wake up in Eddie’s arms and they would live happily ever after.

This wasn’t a movie. This was real life, not a fucking romcom.

Buck loved romcoms.

But whatever.

He sighed, groaning as he stretched and then he got up, checking his phone. It was six in the morning on a Wednesday. They got here late yesterday, well, today morning. And they had today off, why the hell was Eddie awake?

Buck pulled on the socks that he discarded last night and walked out of the bedroom, finding Eddie and Chris at the table, both of them looking like zombies. “Morning?”

“Buck?” Chris squinted at him, giving him a once over and then looking at Eddie before looking back at Buck. “Did you sleep in dad’s room?”

“Hey, no time for interrogations, we need to finish this.” Eddie yawned, half sitting on the table and tapping the paper in front of Chris.

Chris huffed, writing something down.

Buck furrowed his brows, sitting down at the head of the table. “Homework?”

“Yeah, Chris remembered that they’re doing presentations today.” Eddie said, giving Buck a soft look. “You can go back to sleep, we’ve got this.”

“What? No, I’ll help, what’s the presentation about?”

Eddie smiled to himself, looking down at Chris’ paper and then at Buck.

Buck had to look away. It was too early and if Eddie continued looking at him like that, Buck would definitely combust.

In the end, they got Chris prepared for the presentation, Buck made him lunch for school and Eddie loaded up the washing machine, throwing Buck’s shirt from last night in there with the rest of their laundry.

Buck wished every morning could be like this.

Well, maybe without the stress of helping Chris with homework that should’ve already been done.

But even if that was the case every morning, Buck would take it. It made him feel like a part of something. Like they were a real family.

“He wants you to drive him to school.” Eddie came into the kitchen just as Buck was packing Christopher’s lunch. “I think he wants to interrogate you.”

“And you’re not doing anything to help me out?”

Eddie only gave him a big, innocent looking smile, wiggling the car keys in Buck’s face.

Buck huffed out a laugh, grabbing the keys and— “Where’s my jacket?”

“Oh, I hung it in my closet last night.”

Oh.

“Why?”

“Just…” Eddie shrugged, not looking at him. “Wanted the place to be tidy, you know?”

Buck squinted at him. “Right…right.”

—

Buck knew he was fucked the second he got into the driver’s seat and pulled out of the driveway.

“Do you like dad?”

Right.

Fucking of course.

He smiled through it. What a silly question. “Of course, why would I be friends with him if I didn’t like him?”

Chris huffed and audibly rolled his eyes— not literally, Buck just knew he was doing it. “You slept in his bed.”

Buck hummed, expression neutral. “So?”

“So?”

“Hm?”

“Do I really need to do all the hard work here?”

Buck snorted at that. “Wh—“

“Do you like dad romantically?”

This kid grew up too fast.

“Look, Chris—“

“No, do not ‘look, Chris’ me.” Christopher sighed. “You two are finally gay so now you can just kiss and fly away on a rainbow together.”

Buck took a deep breath, pulling up to Christopher’s school. “We’re here.” He said, parking the car, and looking over at Chris. He was being glared at, he never saw this expression on Chris, well, it was never directed towards him.

“Why don’t you just tell him?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It literally is. You’re just making it difficult.”

Buck watched him walk out oand into school.

He stayed in the parking lot for a while, thinking.

What terrible thing would happen if Buck just told Eddie? Or even hinted at it?

Tommy kissed him and Eddie still wanted to be his friend.

The worst thing that could happen…?

Okay, no, Buck was scared shitless. How the fuck do people do this?

Maddie picked up on the third ring, her face showing on Buck’s screen. “Hey, is everything—“

“I’m in love with him and I don’t know what to do, Maddie. Help.” Buck blurted out, he just couldn’t keep it in.

“Woah.” Maddie blinked, sitting down on her couch. “Love? Already? You’ve known him, what, three weeks?”

Buck paused. “What?”

Maddie frowned. “I mean, I support you but—“

“Maddie, who do you think I’m talking about?”

“Tommy?”

“What?” Buck laughed, a little manic. “What? How d— what gave you that impression?”

“Well, Chim said he talked to you about it.” Maddie said slowly, confused.

Jesus Christ.

“I’m sorry that you’re finding out this way, but your fiancé is a fucking idiot.”

Maddie smiled, rolling her eyes. “Wait, so…Eddie?”

“Obviously.”

Maddie nodded to herself, as if she knew already. “Well, that’s a relief.”

Buck snorted.

“So…what exactly is your problem?” She asked.

“What do I do?”

Maddie opened her mouth.

“And don’t say ‘just tell him’.” Buck cut her off. “I’m not doing that.”

Maddie frowned. “Why not?”

Buck shook his head. “I don’t know…I just…Why is this so hard? I never had a problem with this kind of thing before.”

“Well, it’s Eddie. It’s your best friend, stakes are higher.” Maddie said softly.

“Yeah, you made me feel so much better, thanks.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Maddie assured him. “I gotta go, love you, bye.” She kissed the camera and ended the call.

Buck took a deep breath.

Then he started the car.

—

Before Buck reached for the door handle, the door opened and Eddie was there, wide eyed. “It’s ten minutes to school, with traffic. You were gone for fifty.”

Buck blinked. “Woah, hey.” He put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, stepping in and closing the door behind himself.

“I called Maddie but she was busy—“

“Eddie, I’m fine.” Buck shook him a little, cupping his face with his other hand.

“Why did you take so long?” Eddie breathed out, sinking into the touch.

“I…” Buck laughed. “I don’t know, I keep having emotional crises.” He gave Eddie a soft smile, slowly bringing his other hand from Eddie’s shoulder up to his face. “You have my location.”

“I thought it glitched.”

“It didn’t.”

Eddie let out a long, relieved sigh, hands coming up to rest on Buck’s wrists, keeping him there, not pushing away. “Chris is okay?”

“Chris is okay.” Buck nodded, smile widening when his thumb brushed against glitter. “You didn’t wash your face?”

“I did. Four times.” Eddie smiled back.

It was quiet for a beat too long and Buck’s hands started to shake, fingers twitching against Eddie’s cheeks.

He didn’t plan for this.

What does one do in this kind of situation?

Eddie was still looking at him, thumbs running over Buck’s pulse points, as if he was grounding himself. As if Buck was helping him do that.

He was chewing on his bottom lip, making the thin skin red, Buck’s eyes caught on the scar on his upper lip. He had never noticed it before but now it was the most fascinating thing.

Buck wanted to kiss it.

He let out a shaky breath, tearing his eyes away. Eddie was watching him, as if waiting for something.

When did Buck start breathing so loudly?

Oh, wasn’t just him.

Buck gently, hesitantly shifted his hands, moving them to Eddie’s neck, thumbs swiping over his collarbones, exploring, Buck followed them with his eyes, pressing his forehead against Eddie’s, their noses bumping.

Eddie laughed.

Buck tried to hold it in but couldn’t, snorting out a huff of a laugh and shaking his head.

“The tip of your nose is cold.” Eddie whispered.

Buck smiled. “Is it?”

“Yeah.” Eddie breathed out, tilting his head and making their noses brush against each other.

Buck didn’t even notice that his hands had stopped shaking, he felt so…safe? And a little brave. “I like you.”

“I like you, too.” Eddie whispered.

Buck swallowed, shaking his head. “No, I don’t think you un—“

And then Eddie’s lips were on his.

And at first, Buck had no idea what the fuck was happening, it felt like he was thrown into some alternate universe because this felt like something so far out of his realm of possibilities.

Eddie was kissing him.

Buck moved his fingers into Eddie’s hair, kissing him back because what the fuck.

What. The. Fuck.

Eddie hummed and it vibrated against Buck’s own lips. He felt high. Eddie was smiling into the kiss and Buck found himself smiling back, the kiss being more teeth than tongue.

But it was okay, everything was so perfect.

“Mm, I understand.” Eddie whispered against Buck’s lips, pulling away for breath. “Don’t I?”

Buck blinked, a stupid smile on his face. He leaned back, head thumping against the door. Eddie laughed. Buck laughed back, cradling Eddie’s hands in his. “Yeah.” He nodded. “Mhmm.”

“Good.” Eddie hummed, tugging him forward. “Let’s get back to bed.”

—

The…? End…?