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When I Lost You

Summary:

Before the Radio Demon, she was a mother—a woman with a quiet life in a lonely cabin with a caring husband and a loving son.

Then the night came that took everything away. Grief turned to vengeance, static turned into power. The world would come to know her by a different name.

Notes:

In all honesty, I really relied on Grammarly. This trope of Alastor secretly being female and having a family has just been stuck in my mind. If it doesn't make sense, I'm missing tags, or you see any errors, please let me know, as I'm a reader not a writer xD

Work Text:

A woman walked down the narrow path to her cabin as a gentle melody drifted through the quiet forest. The snow crunched under her feet, and her breath turned to pale mist in the cold air. With each step, the small paper bag she carried rustled softly, tied with thin twine.

The trail was bathed in a silver glow as moonlight filtered through thin branches. Before nightfall, the woods were deep and shadowed. Winter darkness had come early. The forest felt expansive and serene. The frost-dusted trees stood still. Her melody warmed the chilly air as she kept humming. Their remote cabin, promising solitude, lay beyond the shadowy trees. Her song drifted through the woods as she followed the well-known route.

The cabin appeared through the trees, its dark outline stark against the snow. She climbed the wooden steps, her breath stuttering. When she opened the door, her humming died in her throat. She let the paper bag slip from her fingers. Silence pressed in as the sound vanished—gone before it hit the floor. The air thinned; the world wavered at the edges. Her ears rang, sharp and slicing, and her heart thundered painfully as her gaze locked on the chaos inside.

The room looked as if a storm had swept through. A chair was overturned by the uneven coffee table. The curtains were ruffled, the lampshade crushed on the floor. Its bulb was broken. The hand-painted picture above the fireplace was crooked, its glass shattered. Warmth still came from the stones, though the fireplace was in pieces. Ashes and half-burned debris were scattered across the floor.

The sharp metallic smell in the air snapped her back to reality. As her senses returned, the quiet pressed in. The ringing in her ears grew stronger. Underneath the silence, a faint crackle grew louder, filling her head and making the quiet feel heavy.

She forced herself to move toward the kitchen. Shadows shifted on the floor. In the corner, a figure leaned against the oven. Her stomach dropped, and her breath caught.

"Cher?"

She whirled to him, panic burning in her chest, and dropped to her knees, hands trembling so violently she could barely touch him. His shirt clung to him, heavy with blood, and he sagged under her hands. Each breath he drew was ragged and sticky, his words broken and desperate. She pressed against his wound, feeling hot life slip out in pulses, the truth cold and inescapable beneath her palms. "No-no, stay with me," she choked out through dry, shaking sobs. "Amour, s'il te plaît."

He opened his eyes just enough to see her. He whispered, "Theo," the word barely audible. His fingers moved weakly in hers. He gasped softly, his head dropping as if it was too heavy to hold up. "I'm sorry." His body relaxed, and his hand slipped from her grasp.

As he took his last breath, his weight grew heavy in her arms. "John?" she called, breaking the silence. "Johnathan!" Her screams grew louder and louder. Only her racing heartbeat remained. She turned toward the other side of the cabin, where the bedroom door stood slightly open. Theodore. She jumped up and ran. Her footsteps echoed in the small space, mixing with the noise in her head. She pushed the door open. It slammed against the wall.

Inside, the room was eerily quiet.

The bedroom was carefully arranged. The blankets were smooth, untouched. The books on the shelf were neatly lined up. Nothing was broken or out of place. Small items on the dresser remained where they belonged. Unlike the rest of the cabin, this room looked as if it had been recently left, not disturbed.
A handmade radio, Johnathan’s gift, sat on the bedside table, its case polished. The silence here felt heavier. She looked at the crib. She moved closer, breath unsteady, and reached in. Theodore’s body was cold and still.

She gathered him up, clutching him so tightly her arms ached, and static screamed in her ears. He weighed almost nothing. The hollowness of the room pressed on her chest, the unnatural quiet stabbing through her. As reality crashed over her, she collapsed, rocking and holding him close, an animal wail shattering the air. Her scream tore the peace to pieces, echoing through the hallway until the homemade radio sparked and hissed, the sound sharp and jarring.

The sound grew louder, pressing out from the walls as if it were something more than just noise, real, almost alive. The shadows on the floorboards stretched abruptly, as if awakened by an unseen force. They pulsed with an unnatural energy, climbing the walls in agitated waves and rippling through the corners. The air felt charged, heavy with something otherworldly, as if the static had pulled apart the barrier between worlds.

Static clawed at every corner of the room, swallowing her as she buried her face in her child’s hair. Her grief burned cold and brittle, carving her from the inside. Her face hardened, jaw clamped against fresh sobs. Determination thickened her voice—steady, cold, unstoppable.

She promised, "I will find who did this," her voice thick with pain. Her eyes burned with certainty as she held her child closer. The shadows seemed to shift. "No one in Heaven or Hell will stop me." She didn’t flinch as the static grew louder. She stared ahead, as if her vow had changed the air around her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life never returned to the way it once was. Instead, she carefully rebuilt it.

She etched the names into her memory with fury, refusing to write them down—writing felt vulnerable now. Her list was made of faces and voices: those who had sneered at her, mocked her family, preyed on the weak. Every memory was a fresh cut, fueling her anger. She clung to patience out of necessity, not peace. Each day she watched, tension coiling tighter, biding her time.

When the time was right, she acted quietly. A whisper, a failed deal, a reputation lost. She enjoyed seeing someone’s downfall. Sometimes quiet, sometimes loud, but always thrilling. No one detected the pattern. No one saw her.

How could they see someone who no longer existed?

She changed her speech, posture, and hair for renewal. She mastered a transatlantic accent, shaping her speech as a tool. She chose a name. The name had once held warmth and comforting memories. She honoured it as her new identity, using it to gain influence and trade information for money.

Whenever a shadow drifted or a radio hummed, she remembered her mission. She wanted justice, not power or fame. One day, she would learn what happened that awful night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They say time heals all wounds, but is that truly the case?

The room got darker, but there was no source. A familiar hum filled the air, vibrating with an otherworldly presence. Without wind, the candles flickered as if moved by something unseen. Shadows on the walls stretched and bent toward the centre of the ritual circle, which was drawn in blood and ink, forming strange, shifting symbols. The static in her ears didn’t just return—it pulsed, moving through the quiet like a living thing traversing the boundary between worlds.

She stood at the sigil’s edge, hands steady despite a trembling chest. "I call upon you, voices of the afterlife," she said. "I want to make a deal," she added, laughing softly. The radio on the fireplace beam sprang to life.

A woman's voice came from the radio. "Why have you called me here, human? To curse? To give? To learn?"

Alastor grinned. "Allow me to cut to the chase. I know what awaits someone like me after death." She nudged one of the many bodies that were lying around with her foot. "Allow me to cut to the chase, I know what awaits someone like me after death. But I do not want to exist in Hell as a tortured soul. I want to secure a place among the highest demons. I want to continue my fun!" she exclaimed as the fire flared.

"I offer what is needed, and in return, I ask for strength...and truth."

Shadows pulled back, then jumped. A sharp red light lit the circle, rippling across the floor. “Wow,” The demoness' voice hummed, "That’s a new one. I must say, a soul like yours is unlike any I’ve seen"

Whisps of light weave from the radio, almost reaching out to her. “I can grant you power,” she promised. “Power beyond what your mortal mind can imagine. The most powerful sinner in Hell, but...” She sang the last word as the whisps circled around Alastor. “You must do something for me. And until you complete this task, your soul will be mine.”

“It’s a deal,” Alastor whispered as she shook the string of light’s hand.

The shadows behind the summoner twisted in a violent way. Then one of them moved differently from the others. It pulled away from the wall, not dissolving but getting thicker and taking on a familiar shape. Someone.

The static in her ears intensified, unbearably sharp. The shadow moved forward. This was not a devil, nor a simple echo, but a boy; a shadowy figure half-formed from the dark and half from something else. His outline flickered between mist and corporeal shape, but his mannerisms, stance, and the way his hands moved matched hers. His dimly glowing eyes stared at her in the darkness. The shadow reached out, and she felt warmth, connection, and otherworldly recognition. A whisper rose and static crackled. The demoness whispered, her own voice echoing, "You wanted strength. So, for your service, here's an additional gift."

The ceremonial circle erupted. Instead of becoming lost in power, the boy found strength in the shadows. Her will bent the static to submission. Her son was no longer lost.

"He was bound by your sorrow. He was given form by your vow. He now walks beside you as a shadow rather than a memory.”

He blended into her as he crossed the circle. Her shadow stretched, moving subtly, alive instead of empty.

More powerful.

More acute.

The shadow grinned as she did. "More power as promised," the demoness said. "And a reminder, Alison: even in death, nothing truly leaves you."

Over time, the static changed to a calming tone. Calm and in control, tied to her heartbeat, but not entirely gone. Tethered to her like a beacon, the shadows became submissive in her presence, no longer wild and unpredictable. For the first time since the cabin, she did not feel alone. Her son's shadow stood tall in the shadows behind her, observing the world alongside her.