Chapter Text
[Approximately 2 Years Ago]
It's a nice day out. It's decently sunny, the blue sky serving as a vibrant backdrop for the white clouds.
School is over, and first year Mitakihara middle student Masashi Tomoe walks home at a moderate pace. There's no need to rush, the dinner with his parents won't be happening for a fair while.
His short blonde hair shines subtly in the sun, bright like the coat of his school uniform. He wears dull and brown shoes.
[{Signum Malum}]
Though, as he approaches the entrance to his apartment block, he feels a strange, creeping feeling. As if being watched.
He looks around, finding nothing out of the ordinary. People are walking about as they normally would.
Maybe it's just in his head. He does a lot of thinking, after all. He continues.
The feeling doesn't seem to leave him. Like somewhere, out of sight...
Two eyes are staring intently. Watching.
He continues wearily moving forward, not able to shake that paranoia. He gives up, moving along the path to reach the building.
He reaches the entrance, now underneath a ceiling and before the door. He stops once more, for the last time, looking around behind him. It was likely hallucinated, but he could have sworn seeing a quick movement of white, leaving his line of sight as soon as it entered.
Just his imagination. He turns to the door and goes inside, telling himself to not care about any of that strange feeling.
[{End of Signum Malum}]
The Tomoe family is in the car, Masashi patiently sitting in the back middle seat. He looks out the window, watching the city's buildings move past as they travel the highway. They haven't really been to this place to eat yet, and he wonders exactly what it will be like.
If they're travelling out of the city for it, it has to be good. Although, he doesn't particularly care. It'll likely be a fine night.
"Are you excited, Masashi?" his mom asks.
"Yes." he answers. Not exactly enthusiastic, but he doesn't want to seem down.
Suddenly, his father yells out in the car. "Shit!!!"
Before Masashi can process the uncharacteristic cursing, everything in the car is pulled forward violently, and the entire vehicle turns sharply with a dramatic swerve from his father.
What is happening!?
He forgets what even happened. Thoughts bounce around in his skull, delirious and unable to make much coherent sense of anything.
Blood is all over him, pants and coat soaked with red. It's on his face as well. He has no idea where it all comes from, nor can he care.
"Mom! Dad!" he croaks out.
His head turns around frantically to look for them, pain ringing out through his body. He can barely move at all, let alone stand up to search for them in this horrible wreckage. Concrete and twisted metal alike surround him.
[{Sis Puella Magica!}]
A white creature suddenly hops into view. Masashi watches it from his position, propped up and crushed facing its direction, sitting upon what must be the former bumper of his family's car.
It's dark in the twilight of what may be his final hour, but the silhouette-like form stands alone as the only moving thing in his sight.
"How awful..." it says. Masashi thinks it to be an hallucination. He is going to die here.
"Will you make a wish, Masashi Tomoe? Make a wish to me, and I will make a contract with you, turning you into a Magical Girl!"
"Wish?" he manages to spit out. He feels barely able to breathe. It hurts to do so.
"Anything which you desire. Though, I’m sure there's really only one thing you can wish for in such a dire situation."
What was that thing about being a "magical girl"? That's weird. Irrelevant, though. There is no time to ask questions in this state.
"I... want... to live."
The creature raises its... ears, or something... and he suddenly feels relief from the pain throughout his whole body. Like his soul is leaving.
Maybe it's too early to go, but he can't care.
[{End of Sis Puella Magica!}]
[One Week Later]
His parents are both dead. Miraculously, Masashi has survived everything, and just... went back to school. Like he's not only an orphan now.
The only thing that's changed is sympathy from teachers and students. It doesn't help at all.
Staring into that yellow little gem he now has, he feels nothing. Numbness. He doesn't even feel like going home—what is there to do that matters?
"Masashi Tomoe." that voice calls out. One once thought to be fake.
He stops and turns to the creature. He just looks at it, eyes practically dead.
"Now that you are a Magical Girl, and have been for a little while, you will have to battle witches. Else, that soul gem of yours will slowly fill up with darkness."
"Why am I a Magical Girl? I’m a boy. I've never done anything that suggests such a thing... I don't understand."
"Well, that is according to your knowledge. I’m able to sense that, in your very soul, you are truly a girl. That is what makes you eligible. Speaking of, is there a different name you may prefer to go by?"
A girl? Him? Nothing makes sense anymore. "No. I don't know why I would have a new name or anything. I’m definitely not a girl, even if..."
He stops himself. Those were just thoughts. Ones which don't matter. That will never matter, even now. He knows that this "Kyubey" is clearly making a mistake.
"Your denial does not matter, and it would be pointless to convince you of who or what you really are. The fact of the matter is, in exchange for the wish you were granted, you are bound by duty and necessity to fight these witches."
"Okay." he responds. "When do I do it? How?"
"I will show you how. You don't seem to care for returning to your residence, so we could start the search now if you choose to."
"What are witches, anyway? Are they hard to fight?"
"It varies, but typically yes, particularly for newcomers such as yourself. There is great peril, and you may have to abandon fighting and escape to preserve your life in the case of becoming overwhelmed."
Masashi imagines some big monster just slicing his head right off. Having everything just end today. He doesn't care for living anymore, it's just pointless. Everything that matters is gone.
Maybe he really should have wished for death, instead.
He holds that little yellow soul gem in his hand, a light that should shine when he and Kyubey approach a witch's labyrinth.
The light of evening is around them. The city is winding down, but Masashi sure isn't.
The yellow light brightens suddenly as they pass a building. He looks right into a dark alley, holding nothing but a dumpster, shadow, and silence.
"Do you think it's in there?"
"Most likely. If we find a witch here, it would be best you transform into your Magical Girl form before entering the barrier."
The idea of a strange girly and magical form to fight some sort of evil entity is almost humorous to the boy. Him of all people? That fact still perplexes him.
He turns into the alley, brightness of his school coat dimming as he enters the shadows of this city. A strangle chilling feeling causes a shudder down his spine.
The gem glows even brighter, illuminating the surrounding alley, fighting back against its darkness.
"It's time. I’m sure this transformation will be quite the remarkable experience for you. It is for many others like you."
Remarkable experience? Really? Nothing will compare to last week.
He wills himself to transform, the soul gem acting with his very thoughts. Suddenly, ribbons spring forth around him, a vibrant and subtly illuminating yellow.
He's unable to stop his heart from starting to rapidly, powerfully beat. Like something more than just body is changing.
Black and yellow boots. Striped maroon stockings. A flared yellow skirt with a line of coffee-colored accent along the end. A blouse, brown corset, hat, and everything is just...
"Oh my God." she mutters. Her voice is soft and feminine, different yet... even more her own. It's so beautiful.
She looks up and down her body. Completely new. Her hair is twisted into drill-like curls, similar to ribbons, and she feels imbued with a feminine essence in soul, mind, and body alike.
"I’m..."
Tears form, like nothing she's had in so long. Feelings, vibrant and full, begin to pour out.
"A girl!!!"
Everything is fixed. She didn't even know of a problem, but it's gone. All is right again. This is how she is supposed to be.
She falls to the cold concrete on her knees and begins to sob. In the matter of perhaps only a minute, the world is different now. She's a girl. She always has been.
"How did I not know? Why..."
She watches these new tears fall to the concrete. They're warm as they run down her face. She's forgotten what this had felt like...
"I’m sorry to interrupt, but it's time to serve your duty as a Magical Girl. Do you think you're ready to go in?"
[{Credens Justitiam}]
She rises, eyes fixed at the stains of her tears on the ground below, before turning her face forward, determined.
"I’m ready. I am a Magical Girl! I will fight for justice!! I won't let anybody be hurt by the likes of these wicked witches!!!"
Her words feel so true. In her heart burns a newfound passion, eager to fill this new role. One far better than dying.
She holds out that same yellow soul gem, arm extended. Light fills the alleyway, and she is whisked away into the witch's labyrinth.
[{End of Credens Justitiam}]
[More Than 1 Year Ago]
A boy with short red hair opens the white-painted wooden door to his room. He is hungry, caught between weakness and a burning anger at that very fact.
His bedroom features pale brown wooden floorboards, white wallpaper, and a modest red blanket upon an average-sized bed, featuring a nice mahogany frame.
He walks inside, before flinging the door behind him, making sure not to cause an excess of noise.
Rihito, as his father lovingly named him, plops onto the bed, simply staring straight ahead. Near the window to his left lies a box of old toys, but he only cares to look at the sun-baked wall across from him.
His father's church was empty once again. Not a single person willing to listen to him! All he wants is a new religion for a new world, how is that so much to ask!?
Because of their ignorance, his family can barely get enough to eat. It is because of them that his stomach growls angrily for nourishment. Even worse is his little sister, Momo. So small, yet having to live in these times of struggle along with her family.
His family doesn't deserve this. It's all the fault of these people. If only they would just give his father a chance...
[{Sis Puella Magica!}]
"I could grant you what you desire, Rihito Sakura."
His lock of eyes on the wall shatters, and he swings his head about to search the room for whatever made that voice. He begins to worry someone is breaking into their home.
Finally, he finds something: a white rodent of sorts sitting upon the window cill on the outside. Did that thing really talk?
"I apologize to arrive so suddenly. I’m Kyubey! May I come in to speak with you?"
Rihito first thinks to keep himself alone in this room, but begins to wonder what this creature can offer him.
"Sure. Do I need to open the window for you?"
"That would be appreciated."
He stands up from his bed and walks to the window. He turns the latch and pulls the window upwards, making his room open to the visitor.
The little creature nimbly hops in, and Rihito sees it closer than before. It seems to have tentacles coming out of its ears, 2 red beady eyes, and a fluffy tail similar to that of a fox.
He turns to face Kyubey as he hops into his room, elegantly taking a seat.
"So, what are you here for again?"
"I came to ask if you'd like to make a contract with me. When you do so, you can receive nearly any wish that you desire!"
"Wait, really!? Magic and all that stuff is real? I can make a wish, and it'll come true?"
"Yes. I sensed you had something you wished for very badly, needing my assistance to make it a reality."
"Wow! So what do you get out of one of these 'contracts'?"
"When you make a wish, you will become a Magical Girl! This entails using magical powers to defeat witches which torment the world with their insidious evil!"
"Hold on, what!? A magical girl? Are you just not able to tell that I’m—"
"I am aware of what you currently believe. I’m sure you'll understand once you make the contract. Does the prospect interest you at all?"
He thinks for a little bit. Kyubey seems to be making a mistake, or maybe just doesn't know what a girl is. But why does that matter when he can get a wish—anything that he wants?
"Yes, actually. How does it work?"
"Just confirm that you want to make a contract, express your wish, and it will be granted, turning you into a Magical Girl!"
Rihito wonders if it may be best to think about it for a little while. After all, it's not like this can only be done right now. At least he assumes?
"When am I able to do this?"
"Right now, if you'd like! I can come back later if you need time to decide. Though, it's better to make a commitment sooner rather than later, isn't it?"
He makes a good point. Even if this is a big deal, he couldn't forgive himself for simply letting his family struggle like this any longer, knowing he can do something. For them, he must do this—here and now.
"I think I'll make the contract now."
Kyubey gets up and quickly walks to the middle of the room, as if this were a formal ceremony of sorts. He sits down as Rihito moves to face him, standing across from the odd creature.
Everything is still, and evening light continues to pour in from the window. A light breeze is felt from outside.
"Now, Rihito Sakura... with what wish will your soul gem shine?"
He looks Kyubey in the eyes. "I want the people of this city to finally give my father a chance—to listen to what he has to say! I don't want the church to be empty any longer! I want to help my father save the new world!"
Everything is silent for a few seconds, and nothing is happening. Then, suddenly, pain shoots through Rihito's nervous system, before giving way to numbness and looseness in all his muscles.
With that loss of control comes a blinding red light, concentrated into a speck no larger than a button. This light slowly moves away from Rihito's chest. The sunlight is replaced with this red light, the whole room turned one color.
"Your wish has been granted. Now, grasp your soul gem, and accept your fate as a Magical Girl!"
With what strength he has remaining, Rihito puts his arms forward to clasp the light, capturing it within his very palms.
With this, maybe he can be a hero.
[{End of Sis Puella Magica!}]
[{Venari Strigas}]
The bovine witch lingers menacingly in the air, wielding a great shining and metallic axe, a great core in the center. From this point leaks out crackles of dark energy, like electricity without light. It is like a shadow, lengthy arms holding onto its weapon, shaped as a Minotaur.
[ASIPHAE]
The long horns of the shadow body curl inwards. The great axe it holds appears to almost harbor more life than its wielder. Around it exists a great colosseum room of sorts, the stage on which it will do battle.
"This one might be too much for you to handle, Kyoko! Are you sure you have a good enough handle on illusion magic?" Kyubey warns her.
"I can try." She responds. "I have to."
An illusory copy splits off of her. She tries to make another, but simply can't. It's taking too much focus to make just one.
She and her copy lunge towards the witch together, both holding a spear towards the wicked being.
The witch swings its axe at her and the illusion, letting the real Kyoko move down as the fake turns to mist.
She then throws her spear up at the bovine witch, going straight through the shadowy body. She is frozen with shock.
"Huh?"
The axe suddenly rushes straight for her, blade ready to cut her into two from above. She freezes and stares in horror.
She's about to die.
The fire of a gun. The axe is flung away as it is hit by something, countering its inertia.
[{Credens Justitiam}]
Kyoko immediately backs away, realizing she now has a chance at surviving. The witch seems to struggle adapting to the new introduction as well.
She turns behind her, seeing her savior: a Magical Girl, adorned in brown and yellow with elegant blonde drill curls, a small brown hat with two accessories attached to it.
While she's still able, she runs from the witch through the strange space to the protection of this complete stranger.
"Who are you!?" Kyoko asks her.
The girl summons a musket into her right hand, then her left, preparing for another attack. She exudes so much experience...
"My name is Mami Tomoe. We'll save the rest of the introduction for later, okay?"
"Got it!"
Kyoko turns back to the bovine witch. It swiftly moves towards them, axe tilting back in the shadow Minotaur's long arms.
Mami holds out her right musket with steady aim, hitting straight into the core of the weapon. The witch's advance immediately stops, and she then takes the left musket and fires upon it again.
"It looks like you can only do damage to the axe!!" Mami remarks.
"Good to know!" Kyoko responds. She leaps towards the witch, spear held behind her. She slashes across the area between the two blades, slicing at the weak core. A red streak of light is left before it fades. The witch is stunned again by the attack, jittering as black energy crackles out.
"Nice!" Mami tells her, before summoning a whole volley of five muskets to fire at the witch's axe.
They fire all at once, pelting the axe with projectiles, leaving a bright smoke behind on various spots across the blades.
"Legare!" Mami shouts.
From the floor of the labyrinth sprouts dozens of ribbons, which pounce upon the witch and entangle it, tying completely around the axe. The shadowy wielder thrashes about, yet can do nothing at all, being nothing but a ruse.
"I'll let you finish this one! Hit that weak spot!"
Kyoko leaps up from the floor again, holding her spear in both hands, lifting it above her head for a downwards thrust.
She falls through the air, approaching the target. Her dress flows behind her. She stabs the weapon down into the witch's core, causing black lightning to crackle violently around it.
She leaves the spear lodged into the bovine witch as she drops back down to the floor. She and the stranger watch as it writhes about as much as it can, before cracks spread across the whole axe, letting darkness leak from within.
The witch explodes to pieces, black energy shooting outwards as it ceases to be. A small orb-like object falls below it. The coliseum around the two girls fades away.
[{End of Credens Justitiam}]
Around them is now a forest, behind the Sakura family church. Rather than a stone floor, there sprouts green grass, and pillars have been replaced by quaint trees. The sunset sky lies above them. Kyoko smiles seeing her first witch defeated—even if not all by herself.
"Nice work! Now I think it's best we introduce each other..."
Kyoko turns back to her new companion. "Oh, right! I’m Kyoko Sakura, nice to meet you!"
"I feel the same! How long have you been a Magical Girl for, Miss Sakura?"
"Oh... like, maybe a week? The whole thing has been a wild journey, I must admit!"
The blonde girl smiles warmly at her. "I remember being in your situation. If you'd like to, you could be my apprentice!"
Kyoko's eyes go wide at the sudden new opportunity.
"Wait, really!? You'd do that for me?"
"Of course! I'd love to help out a fellow Magical Girl! So what do you say, Miss Sakura? Would you like to be a team?"
"Yes!" she responds, excited. "I can't wait to work with you!!"
Mami holds out her hand, and Kyoko takes her offer. The former makes the handshake far more gently, but doesn't seem to mind Kyoko's enthusiastic grip.
A bunch of tiny yellow particles are shed from Mami as she turns back into a regular girl, wearing a school uniform with a skirt and tights, along with white heeled shoes.
Kyoko notices the girl's hair get much shorter, no longer in those long ribbon-like drills. In fact, it's now where near as long—it doesn't even seem to reach her shoulders in the back, curling a little bit in the ends. Her bangs are the same, though.
Kyoko then remembers her own human form. "Oh, and I probably should show you something... I hope it won't weird you out, or anything like that."
Red particles are released from around her Magical Girl form, revealing the form of "Rihito" Sakura. Her hair has become short and styled as a boy's, no longer sporting that long ponytail. The beautiful dress of her prior form gives way to a boring red hoodie and beige pants, lacking any of that life.
Mami's jaw is agape. She stares at this form, probably not thinking of her the same way... Kyoko much prefers her magical form.
The shock on the blonde veteran's face fades. She takes two rushed steps, before putting her arms right around Kyoko. They share in a sudden embrace.
"You really are just like me..." Mami says softly into her ear, sounding like she's crying.
Strangely, Mami's voice seems just a little bit different now, but Kyoko can't quite put a finger on exactly how.
"Wait, what you mean by that?"
"I’m trans too. I've never met another girl like me... I’m so relieved!"
"Wait, you are!? How?"
The hug ends, and Kyoko takes a step back to look at Mami closely.
"Well, I've gotten pretty far. I’m really glad to be able to wear this uniform, it makes me feel so much better."
"Wow! That's amazing! I wish I could live like that... I haven't told my parents yet."
She looks down, thinking about how she has to fake this identity as if nothing has changed over the course of this last week.
Suddenly, Kyoko feels both her hands clasped by the girl. Mami brings them up between the two girls, determination upon her face.
"Don't worry, Miss Sakura! I promise, I'll support you as much as I can through this experience! Both as a Magical Girl and a trans girl! Okay?"
The prospect is even greater than it was before. This girl is the friend she's been wanting ever since she contracted...
"Thank you, Mami!"
She feels like crying happy tears, yet simply can't seem to. She just smiles brightly, excited to have Mami's company.
They're going to be such great friends.
[5 Months Later]
Kyoko closes the door to her home behind her, coming back from a successful witch hunt with her mentor. It is late, night having taken over the sky. She wonders if her family is asleep.
She hears a footstep from across the room. In front of the kitchen table steps her father, walking slowly into view from the hallway.
"Oh, hello Rihito. Have you came back from spending time with that friend of yours? You're back a little later than usual."
"Sorry about that." she says.
She's been looking to tell him about who she really is for a long time. She wants to live like Mami, free and as her true self.
"We still have your dinner. I can heat it up for you, if you'd like!"
"Actually... could we maybe talk?"
"Of course we can, my dear son. Why don't we sit at the table?"
Her father moves a chair out from underneath the table, taking a seat. Kyoko walks over to join him, her heart starting to speed up. If she can beat those witches, she can tell her father the truth.
Kyoko sits in a chair at the kitchen table across from her father. Above them hangs a little chandelier, shaped like a lantern. The table is of dark and intricate carved wood.
"So, what is this you wanted to talk to me about?" Her father asks. There is an understanding in his voice, as usual. Kyoko can trust him.
She gathers her confidence. "It's about me. I’m different from what you think I am. I just hope that you'll take it well?"
"I mean, I love you very much, Rihito. You're my son, I’m sure I can understand."
She feels put off by that, before reminding herself that he simply doesn't know yet. He's expressed that he's open to hearing what she has to say, and probably will accept her. He's a very kind man. Sensitive, almost too caring.
"It's about that. You see, I'm..."
Her father waits patiently for the confession. Her heart pounds, wondering just how he will react to the news.
"... I'm a girl, dad."
His expression seems to quickly turn sour. He seems to express a mixture of concern and disgust. Kyoko's heart sinks, her hope fading away.
"I’m sorry Rihito, but you are clearly mistaken. I raised you to be an upstanding and moral man—not to give into transgender ideology like this!"
He's starting to raise his voice. Dread, horrible dread, fills Kyoko's being. She desperately thinks of what to say.
"Dad, please understand! I've thought about it for very long, it's not like that! I know what I am, and I just can't keep pretending to be a boy like this!"
"I’m sorry, you dare defy me, son? You want to spit in the face of everything I've done to raise you right!?"
She said the wrong thing. She made things worse. Her father is becoming angry, standing up out of his chair to tower over her.
"You raised me fine! I don't have to be a boy to be moral, right? Aren't all people supposed to be accepted by God?"
"You were accepted, Rihito!! You were created as a boy, yet you want to go against the decision of God!?"
Kyoko slides out of her chair, slowly standing up and backing away.
"Please, Dad, just give me a chance!! I've been trying to help you! I made a wish that brought in all those people to your church! I care a lot about your mission!"
"Oh, so you've been doing witchcraft too!? Do you mean to tell me that my loyal followers are merely brought in by some unholy magic!? That you've cast a spell upon them?"
She just keeps making it worse, somehow. Tears begin to leak from her eyes as she grows increasingly desperate.
"I started fighting against witches so that the church could finally have followers again!! I’m trying to make everything better, just like you—"
"Enough with this madness!!! I will not allow you to spit these lies! You are being manipulated by the devil's evil! To think that my own son has been corrupted!! To think that he's monster!!!"
Kyoko backs away towards the door. She doesn't know what her father wants to do. He would never beat her, but she's never seen him quite like this...
"Can't I just—"
"Get out of the house, Rihito. I don't want you to ever come back until you cleanse yourself of this insanity of yours, do you hear me!?"
She slowly nods as tears begin to trickle down her cheeks silently. Her whole world is breaking apart.
She turns around and runs out the door, escaping to the night outside. She leaves the door open, just getting out.
She runs through the neighborhood, vision blurry as she cries, green and gray barely visible through the darkness. She thinks about her whole life up to this point.
Will she even get to see her family again?
No. They don't need a disgusting monster like her around. They don't need a fake girl. "Rihito" is dead. She has no choice but to flee.
The witch's labyrinth fades away. Mami bends over to pick up the grief seed, before facing Kyoko. Despite the quick victory, her face looks concerned.
The witch hunt in Kazamino went well, and they stand in a dark alley within the city, illuminated only be a streetlight ways away.
"Kyoko... how come you didn't use your Rosso Fantasma?"
Might as well tell the truth. "I can't anymore. I renounced my wish."
Mami's eyes go wide. "You... huh? I don't understand."
"I took back the wish to make those people believe my father. I no longer believe, why should they? I’m done making illusions."
"Did something happen? You can tell me. You always can."
She looks down. Her father also said he would accept what she had to say...
"I came out to my father. He called me a monster and kicked me out of my home."
Her mentor puts her hand to her mouth, shocked at the news. "Kyoko, I’m so sorry... that's awful."
[{Anima Mala}]
Kyoko knows the girl is trying to be kind, yet feels angry at that sympathy. That pity.
"Forget this 'justice' bullshit! Why should I save anyone in this fucked up world!? Where my own father is unwilling to accept me!?"
"Please, Kyoko, I understand that—"
"Shut the fuck up, Mami!! You have no idea what it's like! Your parents are dead, and they'd probably accept you anyways!!"
The blonde girl gives her a serious look. "Do not talk about my parents that way."
"Why should I care about how you feel? I've lost everything. Now I just have to keep being a Magical Girl for the rest of my life!"
Rage bubbles within her. She boils violently.
"Please calm down. I'll support you no matter what, and I’m here for you, Kyoko!"
"I really believed that I could be like you. That I could show everyone that I was a girl, and get enough acceptance to push through it all!! Maybe if I was a little more realistic, and didn't hang out with the likes of you, I would just keep being closeted, and still have my family!"
Her friend looks hurt. Very hurt. She takes a step back from Kyoko.
"I’m sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen..."
"You don't 'mean' for anything to happen, Mami! All you do is dream about things being better than they really are! I don't need you, and I don't need anyone else!!"
She hears sniffling, and looks at Mami as tears run down all over her face. Seeing this, she feels remorse creeping into her heart. She pushes it down.
"Kyoko... I want to be your friend. Please. You're all I have! It's because of you that I don't feel alone anymore!" she pleas, voice shaking as she sobs.
"Go back to Mitakihara. This city's mine." Kyoko coldly declares. She feels a regret develop as she does this, pushing away a girl that needs her badly. She needs to kill these weak feelings of hers.
[{End of Anima Mala}]
Hesitantly, Mami steps back. She drops the grief seed in her hand to the ground, before turning the other way and running. Kyoko can hear her crying as her boots slam down on the concrete, carrying her away.
Forget Mami. Forget everyone. If she wants to live, she can only do so for herself!
Nobody should ever look at her again and see a boy. Never. Ever.
[Approximately 1 Year Ago]
Madoka slowly steps down the dark wooden stairs, one at a time. She slowly descends to the spacious house below, lit up by the midday sun through abundant windows. It's a Saturday, and she's taking the liberty of wearing her white pajamas today.
She's been meaning to do this for a while. It's really daunting, but she knows it's the best thing to do. Her mom will understand.
Her short boyish pink hair basks in the warm sun which filters in from outside. She walks on floor, taking a left turn into the house's living room. Her mom is lounging upon the blue sofa, enjoying her time not working.
She's watching the television from across the room, but Madoka won't let herself simply be distracted. She doesn't want to interrupt her mom, but this is really important.
"Mom... I need to tell you something. Is it okay if we talk now?"
Her mother's attention is grabbed, and she turns her head over the sofa to look at her. "Of course, Masaki. Though, if it's important, maybe I should turn off the television."
"Oh, I’m sorry if I’m interrupting you. You could keep it on if you'd like..."
Her mom picks up the remote by her side and turns off the TV. "No, it's fine. If this is important to you, it's important to me."
She pats a spot on the couch next to her for son—soon to be daughter, hopefully—to sit. "Take a seat."
Madoka walks slowly around the sofa, feeling tension rise as the moment she's been dreading approaches. She can do this. Her mom will always be by her side.
With nervous precision, she lowers herself onto the cushion adjacent to her mother's to sit. She thinks of giving eye contact, but continues looking forward and to the side, as if it were automatic. If she can't even look her in the eyes, how will she tell her?
[{Mother and daughter}]
"Mom... if there was something really big and different from everything you knew, and I told you... how would you react?"
Junko pauses for a moment to assess the question. Madoka can barely pull herself together well enough to predict what she'll say—nor does she have her wisdom.
"Masaki, no bombshell truth you ever have to tell me could make me love you any less, you got that? Your mother has seen a lot! I mean, you're a great kid! You never do bad things, so it's not like you went out and killed somebody!"
She can't help but giggle at that last part, relieving just a little bit of her nerve. "Thanks, Mom. It's just... I want you to know that, even if this changes everything, I’m still the same person. I've thought over this a lot, and I just..."
She can't seem to find the right words. She imagined this conversation far better in her head...
She feels her mom's hand on her shoulder, and Madoka's eyes finally turn to look at her. "It's okay, Masaki. I trust that, whatever this is, you're doing the right thing. You'll always be my child."
Madoka blows out a nervous breath. It's time. That moment.
"Mom, I'm..."
Her eyes dart away from Junko's, before moving back just to see her expression. Patient, hoping it isn't bad news of some sort, but with faith in her.
"I want to be a girl."
Her body fills with fear. Horrible, maybe irrational, fear. Her mom is so caring, but what if this in particular goes wrong?
She just stares at her mom, not knowing what will happen next. It's out of her control.
Junko's face looks concerned. Worried. As if feeling bad, or wanting to help through the hard road ahead. Madoka's eyes locked on her mother, tears begin to form upon them. She sniffles, realizing she is crying.
"Oh, come here..."
Her mom leans over and wraps her up in a warm hug. Madoka curls into it, sobbing into her mother's arm. She feels a little bad about leaving her tears on the sweater sleeve. Junko's hand rubs slowly upon the girl's back, consoling her as she always has.
"I’m sorry mom I—I'm supposed to be your son, and I’m just going against all that—I'm sorry if I’m just making everything harder..."
"If it is what you truly want... you can be my daughter. You don't have to feel bad—you can't control who you are. I want you to be yourself, and to be happy. I didn't expect this, but I'll do everything I can to make you feel better, okay?"
Madoka raises her head slowly up to gaze upon her mother, looking lovingly at her, willing to accept any truth. Tears continue to flow, except far happier.
"Thank you, Mom... I’m so glad..."
"I'll support you no matter what. Is there maybe a different name you'd like me to call you by? I’m not exactly an expert on transgender people—which it looks like you are—but I heard that's an important thing."
"Oh, um... I actually have picked a new name already."
"What is it?"
"I hope it doesn't sound silly on me, but... I chose 'Madoka'. Is that alright?"
"Of course it is. In fact, it sounds just like the kind of name I would give to you! You made a great choice, Madoka."
A wide, joyous smile grows upon her face, having everything she wanted from this conversation she was so scared of. She straightens herself out before putting her arms around her dear mother, giving her a hug in return for so much kindness.
[{End of Mother and daughter}]
The sun's out, and a boy is on the way to school. Trees gradually pass by as he moves alone, but not for much longer.
He thinks of his friend, Masa—or wait, actually Madoka now. Still gotta get used to that new name. She'll be showing up to school with a girl's uniform, and recently came out to him.
The boy tries to imagine his friend in that uniform, hard-won with the help of her bold and determined mother. Mrs. Kaname is not somebody you want to mess with!
Finally, as he comes across a fork in the path, Madoka comes scurrying along. She's in that uniform, just as she said she'd be...
"Oh, Kaito!! Hii!!!"
She excitedly runs over to him, waving her hand joyously. A lot more energetic than she was before.
"Hey, Madoka! How are you doing?"
Kaito looks at her appearance. Her hair is a tiny bit longer now, with red hair clips holding back her hair, one on each side. That uniform looks like it's made for her, as if she's always been a girl...
"I’m really nervous, I must admit... everyone is going to be staring at me!! I feel really pretty, but I don't know how they'll all see me!"
Now joined up, the two friends walk together along the path to school. One blue-haired, one pink. Kinda like that one flag Madoka showed Kaito—just without the white.
As Madoka walks forth with a mixture of nerve and unbridled joy, he can't help but continue looking up and down this new version of his friend.
He's just... feeling something. He can't tell what, but something is bubbling within him watching Madoka's happiness, this new expression of herself. What even is it?
"Is something wrong, Kaito?" Madoka asks him.
"Oh—nothing. I’m just really happy for you, that's all!"
It's true that he's happy for her, but that's not all. He knows there's something more.
Time passes, and more students begin to funnel in on the way to school. Madoka appears to sort of fold inwards, not wanting to be seen. She rapidly fiddles with the strap of her bag between her fingers.
To the left of the two walks a girl, who they recognize as one of their classmates. The Shizuki girl. Her hair is somewhere between green and a light brown. She strides with grace, clearly on the upper end of students.
The visitor speaks. "Hello, Miss Kaname."
Madoka is brought into a mild panic, in her first interaction with someone unaware beforehand of this new arrival. "Oh, umm, hello Miss Shizuki..."
"I just wanted to say, you wear the girl's uniform quite well. You look very put-together for your first day presenting in this way! I wish you a good day!"
The complimented girl blushes.
"Thank you!! That's so kind of you!" Madoka tells her as she blends back into the sparse crowd of other students, going on with her travels.
Kaito turns to his friend. "See? Nothing to be worried about! You got this, Madoka!"
A smile grows on her face, and she speaks with more confidence. "I guess I do!"
She must be feeling so free, so happy...
Something Kaito wants, too.
[{Desiderium}]
The bell rings, calling for the end of school. Mami neat packs up her things, closing the books, organizing the papers, putting it all into her bag...
She hears the chatters of her classmates. "Did you hear about that student? The one that showed up like a girl today?"
"Oh, Masaki Kaname?"
"I think they're going by a different name, but I don't know what that is. I'm just saying what I've heard!"
Mami stand up from her chair, bag in tow. She feels excitement, realizing they're talking about a different trans girl!! In Mitakihara Middle!
"I’m so sorry to interrupt, but could you please tell me more about this girl?"
A student takes it upon herself to answer. "I believe she's a first year student. I take it you want to meet her?"
"Yes, I would. Do you happen to know what she looks like?"
"Uhh, think they said pink hair with red hair clips? That and a girl's uniform, instead of the boy's like she did previously."
"Thank you!"
Mami turns to leave the classroom, walking briskly. She needs to get out of here and find this "Kaname" student as quickly as she can! Somewhere in the crowds, she just needs to look for pink hair and red clips!
If they can be friends, she doesn't have to be alone anymore.
[{End of Desiderium}]
Mami politely maintains her place within the wide body of students walking out of the school, through the similarly wide walkway.
Her desire to not bother anybody and to meet Miss Kaname as soon as possible are interfering. Since she got out among the first wave of people, could she wait for her? She is a first-year, after all. The people around her appear to not include many students in that grade.
As the wide brick path approaches a branching point, and the crowd parses out into multiple smaller parts, Mami moves out of the way and stands to wait. She just needs to watch out for the girl...
Her eyes scan over the heads of students repeatedly, determined to miss nothing. Two minutes or so of this pass, but she won't give up at this opportunity.
[{Postmeridie}]
Then, she sees something: a student with short pink hair! And there are red hair clips placed in them, one on each side!
Mami approaches the girl, who is coming along in a far less dense wave, composed primarily of first-year students. She moves through students, excusing herself while leaving space for others.
The girl approaches, and she's able to see her more clearly. She's accompanied by a boy of blue hair, who she seems to be talking to. It's rude to interrupt, but she looks nice...
It's time to make a good first impression.
"Excuse me, but are you Miss Kaname?" she asks the student.
She gets the girl's attention, and she seems to get a little shy. "Oh—yeah, I am! Madoka Kaname!"
"That's wonderful! I've been really wanting to meet you!"
Madoka begins to blush, while her blue-haired friend looks confused at what's happening—probably also because of not knowing who Mami is.
"Really? Do you, like, want to be friends?"
Mami doesn't want to overwhelm the poor girl, but she is delighted at the opportunity she so badly wanted from the moment she heard there was another girl like her.
"Yes!! I'd like that very much!"
Madoka's friend speaks up. "Hey, who are you, exactly? I don't mean to be rude, but I don't think we've met you before..."
"Ah, sorry for being so sudden. My name is Mami Tomoe! And who are you, if you don't mind me asking?"
The boy seems to pause for a moment. "... Kaito Miki."
"It's nice to meet you, Mister Miki!"
Kaito seems to subtly shrink back.
Mami suddenly remembers there's a world around her. All the other students are walking home, while they're standing here and having a conversation. Maybe it's too soon, but she wants to ask something.
"Would you two like to come to my place for tea later today?"
Madoka seems to light up, delighted by the gesture. "Of course! Where do you live, though? Should we exchange numbers?"
"Good idea! I can enter your number into my phone, or the other way around if you'd like!"
"I'll just give you my number." Madoka responds.
[{End of Postmeridie}]
Brimming with excitement, a joyous smile on her face, Mami hands her cell phone over to a new friend.
[{Scaena Felix}]
"It was really nice of you to invite us over, Mami!" Madoka says.
Mami, Madoka, and Kaito sit around the triangular glass coffee table at the center of the former's living room. The apartment feels warm and comforting, full of nice, easy-on-the-eyes furniture. An evening view of Mitakihara is given by the large window.
"It's no problem, Miss Kaname! What do you think of my tea?"
She watches intently as the girl takes a sip. "Oh, wow! This is so good!!"
Mami smiles at Madoka, flattered. "Thank you! I've been practicing for a while now!"
"I can tell!" Madoka says, before returning to drinking the tea.
"What do you think, Mister Miki?"
Turning to look at the boy, Mami notices him looking somewhat solemn. Like he's deep in thought. He's pulled out of this trance-like state after being called upon.
"Oh, sorry. Forgot to try it yet, my bad!"
He picks up the teacup and takes a sip. "Hm. This actually is pretty good."
Mami notices less enthusiasm in him than with Madoka. Does he not like it as much, or is he simply in a bad mood?
She won't press him. She looks back at Madoka. "So, Miss Kaname, do you know why I wanted to meet you and be friends? I apologize again for how rushed I took everything earlier."
"Oh, no it's fine!! And yeah, I would like to know! I assume it has to do with how I came to school today?"
Madoka is still wearing that same uniform, like a badge for her courage.
"Yes, it does. You see, I’m actually very similar to you..."
Madoka's eyes go wide, and a big, though somewhat unsure, smile grows across her face, mouth agape in surprise. "Wait, do you mean that you're, like..."
Mami nods. "I’m trans! I remember the day I showed up just like you did. I must say, it was very hard to get everything arranged properly. It's really scary, I know the feeling!"
Madoka looks like she's overwhelmed with excitement. "That's so cool!! I'm so glad to meet another girl like me!!"
"I am too!! We're so alike, aren't we, Miss Kaname?"
"Yeah! But you're probably a lot more experienced than me... I couldn't even tell you were trans!"
That's magic for you. Though, she can't casually state that.
"Oh, it takes a lot! Voice training, growing my hair out, styling everything... being a girl is hard work, but worth the effort!"
Not a lie at all. But it isn't everything, especially when she is able to change the very hormones her body produces.
"You're so cool, Mami! I want to be like you and get the hang of everything!"
After so much cold loneliness... she's feeling the warmth of company. The comfort of having a friend who truly understands her.
"I'll help you, Madoka! I can be your trans girl mentor!"
"Really!? That would be so nice! Thank you!"
[{End of Scaena Felix}]
Kaito continues to stare, swapping between the two girls. He takes another sip of tea, silently watching with that sullen look.
[Approximately 6 Months Ago]
The three friends have come to the fast food place Madoka and Kaito tend to frequent. They sit in the booth together, Madoka and Kaito across from Mami. It's noon, and the joint is bustling with a decent amount of customers, though nobody sits nearby.
[{Conturbatio}]
Madoka's hair is longer now, Mami's as well. Though, the latter seems to have grown hers at a far faster rate, somehow. She has long and elegant ribbon-like drill curls. Madoka's hair has shorter bangs in irregular shapes, keeping it out of her eyes while the rest of her hair grows. She still wears those cute red hair clips.
Looking at how nice his—or maybe her (that feels weird to use)—friends look, Kaito knows what she is feeling:
Envy.
Kaito knows this now. All this time, she... they wanted to be like their friends.
It's weird, seeing as they have witnessed the challenges Mami and Madoka face, but... they want to be a trans girl too.
Drowning out the conversation between their two friends, Kaito is suddenly dragged back into the situation by Madoka.
"Kaito... is something wrong? For a while now, you've looked really sad, and I just... you can tell me, you know."
Can they? Can... she?
Put on the spot, Kaito thinks as fast as possible to make a decision. They look around the restaurant, worried that it's just not the right place. But will there ever really be a perfect place and time? Their mind fights with itself, before making a resolution.
"I think it's time for me to finally tell you both how I've been feeling. I know that you'll both understand, it's just... I don't know how it will change things."
"What is it, Kaito?" Madoka asks. Mami watches and listens patiently.
She makes a long exhale. "I want to be a girl like you and Mami."
Madoka's expression goes shocked, mouth agape. Mami, for some reason, is giving a look like she expected this news. But... how would she know?
[{End of Conturbatio}]
"Kaito, I... I didn't know that. Thank you for telling me! I'm really glad you can trust us."
Mami finally speaks. "Miss Miki, I’m proud of you for coming out to us. Don't worry, Madoka and I will show you everything you need to know. Would you like that?"
[{Decretum}]
Being referred to that way, her heart feels so light. Like something has been finally put the right way. Happiness, like she's never felt it before, fills her soul.
Seeing Mami's smile and Madoka's too, she feels so seen. So cared for. Like her friends finally understand who she truly is.
"Thank you. Thank you both so much... you're the best friends I could ever ask for."
Suddenly, Madoka hugs her. It's a tight embrace, made with excitement. "Me and Mami are going to make you into a super cute girl!! Right Mami?"
The blonde girl nods. "That's right! I can't wait to help you on your journey! Though, on that note, perhaps we should cover the first course of action..."
"What would that be?" Kaito asks.
"Would you like to pick a new name for yourself?"
She thinks about it, and realizes that she never truly felt attached to "Kaito". It was just like a word which was used for her. It never felt like it was her, just a label which everyone else was used to.
"Yes. But... how are we gonna go about doing that?"
A white tote bag filled with newly bought clothes sits next to the mirror in Mami's apartment, lying left of the hallway to the bathroom. Kaito looks at her reflection, brimming with joy wearing a pretty white floral dress.
Madoka and Mami are off to the side, watching their friend figure things out. They look approvingly at how she looks in the new dress.
"I love it!! It's so cute on you!!!"
"I agree. You'll make a fantastic girl, Miss Miki!"
Kaito's eyes are sparkling, full of life. This feeling is incredible... maybe the happiest she's ever been. She steps and turns herself to check out the different angles of this look, and can't help but continue to beam.
"I think I'd like to stay like this for a little while. Would that be fine?" she asks.
"Sure! Why don't we sit down and try to find a new name for you?" Mami replies.
"Okay! That sounds good!"
[{End of Decretum}]
She sits on the living room couch, Madoka and Mami flanking her, still giddy with euphoria from the dress.
Madoka is looking at her phone, searching something up. Though, she subtly turns it away from her, as if embarrassed. Mami simply watches with a little smile.
A few seconds pass, and she seems to have found what she was looking for. "Umm... how about Kaori?"
She thinks for a moment. Would that really be a name she would have?
"Nah. Keep going."
"Umm... Kana?"
"Nope."
"Kyoko?"
For some reason, Mami seems to flinch at that suggestion. She's confused, but reckons the name doesn't suit her anyways.
"No, maybe we need to go in a different direction."
"Oh, okay. Uhh, Himari?"
"Couldn't imagine being called that."
"Hm... Aoi?"
"Too short for my tastes."
"Oh, got it! More syllables... Satomi?"
She pauses to consider this one. It feels close, yet... it's just not quite there yet. If she has to settle, maybe she'll go with that one.
"I like it, but not exactly for me. I feel like you're on the right track, though."
Madoka scrolls for a little bit longer, looking increasingly more awkward as she searches for the name that'll fit the newly made girl.
"Maybe you'd like Sayaka?"
Wait. Something seems good about that one. It sounds like it could be her, but she needs to confirm.
"Oh. Hm. Could you maybe call me by that name in a sentence?"
"Okay, I could maybe try... uh..."
Madoka tries to think of a good example, but Mami, in all her smarts, has one ready.
"You look very pretty in that dress, Sayaka." Mami tells her.
Something clicks. That felt so right. "Wait! That's perfect! I love it!"
"Do you want to be called Sayaka now?" Madoka asks, excited.
"Yes, please!!" she replies.
"Hooray for Sayaka!!!" Madoka cheers, before quickly leaning and putting her arms in a tight hug around her. She rocks the blue girl back and forth.
Between the dress, the new name, friends that are so supportive... everything is perfect. She never remembers smiling so much in her entire life.
Sayaka will remember this moment forever.
[1 Month Ago]
The calendar reads February 16th. Homura will finally be out on March 16th, in exactly one month, after completing the recovery for her heart surgery.
She's alone in this hospital room. She sits up against the headboard of the white bed, laptop resting upon the blanket still lying across her legs. Light blue curtains gently sway to her left, pulled open and letting some sunshine permeate through.
All this time bedridden has come with one distinct advantage, that being the opportunity to grow her hair out. After all, haircuts are only optional when staying here. She's learned to style her black hair into twin braids, which she manages to take care of well enough to render it beautiful and silky. They're tied on the ends with pretty purple ribbons she ordered online, stretching down just below her shoulders.
Other than her hair, she has cute cherry red glasses to wear. Even if she can't wear much else besides these lavender pajamas, she appreciates what ability to express herself she holds.
On her laptop, she pulls up the social media site she frequents. It's helped her a lot, especially early on in this journey of hers. She navigates to her profile, and clicks on her most recent post.
Though, she's momentarily interrupted by the arrival of a nurse into her room. Dressed in white, she's grown acquainted to Homura these past few months.
"Good morning Miss Akemi. Are you doing well? Any requests for breakfast?"
She tries to muster a feminine, or at the very least soft, voice. How do you even raise the "larynx" higher?
"Um—I'm doing good. Thank you. And uh, I'll just have the usual!"
Not the worst. Definitely not cis-passing, but it's better than it used to be. Besides, she doesn't need to talk too much anyways.
"Alright, sounds good! Someone will be back with your meal soon, okay?"
"Okay!"
The nurse departs from the room. Homura turns her eyes back to the laptop screen. Her post appears to be doing well
I_Like_Girls_222
It really sucks having all these heart problems. I wish I could go on HRT when I’m older, but I can't even do that because of my condition. I hate being a trans girl... why couldn't I just be born one like most girls are?
32 likes, 2 comments. The replies read:
Aww, that really sucks! I’m sorry to hear that. Just know that it doesn't make you any less of a girl, alright? Just keep fighting!
Oof, I can relate. I have a hormone imbalance, so they actually want me to get MORE testosterone. It's a hard life out there for us! Hope the best for you moving forward.
Her commenters are always so nice, even if there aren't usually that many. She likes both of their comments, and starts writing out replies to each.
Though, she's interrupted by a voice talking to her. "Miss Akemi, your breakfast is ready!"
She's really lucky to have caretakers that actually address her properly. It took a little time for everybody to use the right name and pronouns, but they got there eventually.
"Thank you!"
Speaking of eventually, she can't wait to wear feminine clothes when she's released next month! She ordered a black skirt, among other cute clothing, to wear before she transfers into Mitakihara Middle.
Just thinking about that fills her with so much excitement...