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Kaiser is mildly aware that his behaviour could be seen as neurotic and dipping into absurd levels of insecurity that he’d rather not have, but it’s hard when Sae is so, well, Sae.
Sure, he understands that time zones exist and he curses natural geography everyday for being an excuse his beloved can use when he doesn’t respond within the split second it takes to not piss Kaiser off. And perhaps he was being too optimistic to expect Sae to suddenly be enthused by the prospect of having to deal with him.
Staring at the screen for a moment, Kaiser quickly decides that this emotional investment isn’t worth his time so he’s going to make a #recovery and do something normal. Normal people will simply ignore this act of aggression from their partner and decide to…
Go on a walk.
God, Kaiser is such a genius. It’s not as if this revelation requires him to be unlike himself nor was it something he could’ve easily done prior to this mental break.
With a new goal in mind to aim towards, Kaiser feels assured and confident when he struts out of the door to do whatever it is your average schmuck does when outside. He likes to act this way because he can feel above others by pretending to be entertained by the same things these commoners find so appealing. Or so he says.
As the capital, Berlin has no shortage of luxury high-end stores that sell overpriced slop for the masses to throw their money at.
To anyone who doesn’t know him beyond the ‘emperor’ character he hides behind, Kaiser seems like he’d enjoy these things.
It’s a fair assumption to make considering he does take the chance to glance over the display case. Nevertheless, he feels a seed of nervousness sprout in his mind—as if him staying for too long would lead to a shop assistant badgering him to buy something until they realise he has the soul of a broke ass bum and bash his skull in or whatever.
Kaiser has left the slums, dresses himself in all the expensive colognes and silk robes he wants, yet it’s an irrational fear of his that the stench of poverty will never truly leave him.
Truth be told, he hasn’t really splurged on anything in spite of his newfound wealth and having this sort of partner in particular didn’t make it more straightforward. For someone like Kaiser, it’s easier to stomach the thought of being used for his appearance and status rather than out of pure love (or whatever useless feeling that’s telling Sae this is a relationship worth pursuing).
He can demand that Sae uses him all he wants but at most all he’ll get is a blank stare. Then—because his darling is understanding of his fragility—it’s followed by a halfhearted request like, “clean up your mess. All these cokes, I’m surprised you haven’t gotten diabetes.”
If Kaiser is especially pissy that day, it’ll be something uncharacteristically cute like “you can hold my hand.” It’s irritating beyond belief!
… Though, he does it anyway, restraining himself from squeezing the living daylights out of Sae. What did Ness say that one time? Cuteness aggression, was it? More emphasis on the aggression part though, Kaiser convinces himself.
Sometimes he’s a little peeved that Sae is wealthy and established in his own right. He can’t amaze him simply by flaunting his money and spoiling him with gifts. With or without Kaiser, he’d live a perfectly comfortable life. He isn’t necessary for his survival. Sae doesn’t need him to breathe.
There’s a brief premonition as to where this train of thought is going but he continues.
Kaiser would definitely prefer his beloved being a little more dependent on him than he is. If he was, then Kaiser could be marginally more assured that Sae would be less inclined to leave him.
He really is terrible, isn’t he? For wanting such a thing? He doesn’t mean it. Sae knows he’s saying it from a place of pure love, right? That he’d be devastated if Sae ever left him, and would probably have to be given a restraining order to deter him from continuing to contact him? And even that might not be enough?
Kaiser, of course, would love to act as though he’d be fine too and would move on without a second to spare. Lots of people want him.
Lots of people also want his boyfriend.
He’s a little prideful that he’s with someone considered desirable but also yells at these imaginary people in his head to back off. Sae’s his.
His mind keeps on racing. What if Sae doesn’t even want to be with him? Will he happily go along with the next person who sweeps him off his feet? Someone who isn’t a piece of shit and doesn’t have trauma and isn’t insecure about their place in his life? There’s a few faces that come to mind as potential perpetrators of this crime. They’re trying to take him from- Okay, enough with the insane muttering.
No wonder Sae doesn’t want to respond to his messages. He must be annoying and honestly laughable to the midfielder.
The thought that he would be better off without Kaiser isn’t exactly a new one. Their one-week anniversary had already earned them a gift from Rin in the form of rat poison (which Kaiser had delightfully informed everyone in attendance that it wouldn’t be a suitable murder weapon for humans) to commemorate the occasion. Well that’s besides the point.
Kaiser jerks his head away from the store window as though it personally offended him.
He needs to stop thinking about this.
Stop. Just stop.
… You know, there was this one time at the passport office where some nobody-worker got suspiciously close to Sae.
♡
It’s 5AM. There’s nothing urgent to do today, so the logical thing is to continue sleeping. But Kaiser’s been busy pretending to not care about his phone long enough for Sae to finally respond.
He’s about to bombard the man with questions as to his disappearance; his lack of communication; his inability to be more expressive with his own partner; if he wants him dead. Stuff of that nature. However, it’s a little desperate even for Kaiser and, ideally, he’d like to keep what little self respect he has left.
Feeling petty, he leaves Sae on delivered. Hah. That’ll show him.
♡
Someone as pragmatic as Sae doesn’t often feel bound by the emotions of nostalgia but he can’t help himself. It’s been a while since he’s been home and though it’s been awkward, he and Rin are slowly rebuilding their bond together. They’ve at least reached a point where they can menial conversations like telling each other about their days, which brings them to this.
Rin stares at his brother’s screen blankly, probably wondering how on earth his dear Nii-chan ended up with Kaiser of all people.
Sae’s eyes crease in annoyance as his message has certainly been read and ignored.
He could be hopeful and say Kaiser simply fell asleep, or be realistic and say his boyfriend’s upset with him.
To be fair to the man, this time around he has a fathomable reason to be a little upset. The expected few days to renew Sae’s visa in Japan turned into a few weeks at the insistence of his family. He didn’t really feel the need to tell Kaiser about it at the time, a massive oversight in retrospect.
So the man has been stuck, all alone in Germany, waiting for them to head back to Re Al for a week already.
He should’ve expected this.
Sae goes awfully quiet and Rin realises the situation is much worse than he thought. His brother would rather die than ever admit that he’s developed a soft spot for the German out loud, yet he wouldn’t be putting the effort in trying to smooth things over with him if he didn’t.
To his core he despises excessive actions, so he must genuinely care about this cretin. Gross.
♡
When he spots the familiar mop of blonde-blue hair among the other arrivals, alone (thankfully) and schismatic as ever. Sae’s expression doesn’t betray any of his emotions but neither does it quell the growing sense of doom over him.
Frankly, he’s a little on edge.
Strike one: Kaiser mirrors his face with an equally indifferent look and doesn’t immediately reach for him when he takes a step closer towards him.
Strike two: the same man who Sae often struggles to get to shut up is now giving him the silent treatment.
The thing that he wants to do and feels most naturally inclined to do are at odds with each other in his mind. He wants to say something, anything really, to prompt a conversation because he feels a rare pang of guilt about this whole thing. Especially after explicitly telling Kaiser they’d both return to Spain together as soon as possible.
He hates going back on his word, that’s for incompetent morons. Sae is not one to sugarcoat things and when he says things, he means it fully.
Having said that, he also feels strongly about doing something so not like him.
Too bad he’s emotionally constipated so he can’t let Kaiser know any of this to his face. Thus, the journey back to the car is painfully slow and arduous. Sae thinks to open the door before Kaiser can get there as a vague sort of peace offering, but the latter makes a point of rushing to sit down and slamming the door behind him.
Now Sae has to awkwardly shuffle to the driver’s seat and pretend like that was his plan all along.
When he glances to his boyfriend—who admittedly has a handsome face in spite of the scowl—he can only feel himself growing more annoyed. Not to Kaiser, no. To himself. For entertaining this immaturity for this long.
Kaiser wearily opens his eyes when the car suddenly stops. The flash of azure is soon melded with emerald as Sae stares at him expectantly.
“Let’s go,” Sae says in his usual clipped manner, whilst simultaneously hoping the way his voice wavers ever so slightly goes unnoticed.
In response, Kaiser scoffs. Suddenly Sae’s heart feels incredibly cramped within the confines of his ribs.
At the end of the day, he knows in anything without football involved he’s effectively useless. Call it a side effect from allowing the sport to dictate his life since the day he was born.
If he were anyone else, perhaps he’d be more equipped to deal with this type of thing. Will his plan even be enough to placate Kaiser? To earn his forgiveness? His brain immediately goes on the defensive, convincing himself to drop it and just go home.
You’re just embarrassing yourself, he mutters. Just go and salvage what you can when you get there.
Briefly, Sae wonders what it would be like if Kaiser decided to call it quits because of this. No one would be surprised; they already have an abundance of problems they probably should have dealt with before getting together, so this is just another bump on the way, right?
He’d accept it either way… he thinks.
There’s a surge of familiar warmth when a hand grabs ahold of his. Avoiding his gaze, Kaiser makes an excuse about Sae walking too fast. “Do you have somewhere better to be? So eager to get rid of me, are you?” he accuses, and oddly enough it comforts Sae.
”Of course not.”
His earnest response deters Kaiser from going through with the snide remark he had playing in his head.
The midfielder refrains from looking too gladdened by this development as he leads the way to a quaint building overlooking the seaside.
A smiling waitress greets them politely though he isn’t really focused on that due to the increasing pressure his wrist is being subjected to. Normally he’d shake Kaiser off and throw him an arched brow, but he lets it slide. For now.
They must think Sae’s showing around his tourist-friend or something mundane like that since an english menu is placed in front of Kaiser rather than the original print. This, to Kaiser, is a great insult and he makes a point of complaining about it to Sae.
”They must think I’m stupid or something,” he says, tugging on the Japanese copy in Sae’s hand.
Or maybe they’re just trying to be accommodating for foreigners, Sae muses. He’s seen the man practicing the language in private—likely to see if his boyfriend was shit talking him behind his back, or to annoy Isagi—so Sae gets the pleasure of watching him read out some of the dishes.
Kaiser tries and fails to understand the more complex names, but pretends to in front of the worker (who had the misfortune of having to decipher his German-accented Japanese) when ordering, which is probably why they’ve ended up with this absolute Goliath of a table spread.
It’s a little extravagant even for a party, never mind two people. They get weird stares from other customers.
Sae soon disregards the thought because you simply can’t focus on trivial matters like second hand embarrassment with his Mihya sitting across from him.
There’s a thick silence that sits between the two aside from the sound of chopsticks and a fork clanging against the ceramic bowls. Until finally, enough is enough, and Sae makes the first move.
“I’m sorry.”
Kaiser, seemingly wanting to keep an air of nonchalance and blissful ignorance to Sae’s plight, shifts his gaze to an innocuous corner of the roof. “Whatever do you mean, Schatz?”
Don’t play dumb with me, Sae wants to say. Don’t force me to be emotionally vulnerable is probably more apt though.
“I didn’t mean to stay for this long. I should’ve told you earlier. I’m sorry I kept you waiting,” he manages without sounding too strained. “It’s… alright, if you don’t forgive me. We’ll go with whatever you decide.”
Clearly surprised, Kaiser scrunches his nose like a cat before kicking Sae’s leg gently. “You have amused me greatly. I guess… I suppose, I may, ostensibly… be able to forgive you. Don’t ever try such tricks again, okay? I’ll kill you.” His hand reaches over the table towards Sae’s collar, jerking his face closer. He looks at him expectantly and Sae sighs before placing a chaste kiss on his lips.
The emperor’s usual smirk reveals itself at last! All is right in the world!! But the celebration cannot last long, as Kaiser then switches mien with a swiftness that’s almost eerie.
“Tell me, what do you think of individuals who work at passport offices?”
Sae blinks. “I don’t think much of them.”
♡
After debriefing with his brother, Rin is sad to report that no food poisoning occurred during the incident.