Work Text:
Curfew at Hogwarts was a flexible concept when you were a Gryffindor.
Technically it meant everyone in bed, lights out, silence.
In reality it meant everyone crammed into one dormitory with the curtains pulled shut, whisper-yelling over a contraband laptop while passing around a bottle of something that tasted like burnt apples and poor life choices.
The boys’ dormitory smelled faintly of candle wax, pumpkin pasties, and cheap alcohol.
James Potter sat cross-legged on the floor with a deck of cards scattered around him like the aftermath of a failed magic trick.
“Peter, you absolute criminal,” he said, pointing accusingly. “You cannot possibly have three aces again.”
Peter Pettigrew clutched the cards to his chest like a dragon protecting treasure.
“I just got lucky!”
“You’re the least lucky man alive,” Fabian Prewett said from where he sprawled across Sirius’s bed. “You once tripped over air.”
“Air attacked me,” Peter muttered defensively.
Across the room, the girls had claimed Remus’s bed as their base of operations.
Lily Evans sat near the headboard with a laptop balanced on her knees. The glow of the screen lit her face in ghostly blue while the horror movie playing on it screamed at a volume that was probably audible three floors down.
Mary Macdonald had buried half her face in a pillow.
Marlene McKinnon, however, leaned forward with feral enthusiasm.
“Oh my god, oh my god, the ghost is behind her—”
Alice Fortescue shrieked as the character on the screen turned around.
Frank Longbottom jumped so violently he knocked over a bottle.
Gideon Prewett laughed so hard he nearly rolled off the bed.
“Frank!” he wheezed. “You’re a seventh-year wizard and you’re scared of a laptop ghost.”
Frank shoved his shoulder.
“Shut up, that thing is creepy.”
“Coward,” Fabian said.
Remus Lupin sat on the floor with his back against the bed frame, calmly sipping from a mug like he was attending a mildly interesting lecture instead of a midnight chaos gathering.
Sirius Black lounged sideways across James’s bed, long legs dangling off the edge, idly spinning a playing card between his fingers.
He looked bored.
Which meant something interesting was about to happen eventually.
On the laptop, a character in the horror film crept down a dark hallway.
The music went silent.
Then—
BANG.
Mary screamed.
Peter screamed.
Frank made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a dying kettle.
The monster lunged across the screen.
The girls shrieked in unison.
James clapped sarcastically.
“You lot are pathetic.”
Lily threw a sock at him.
“Shut up, you flinched!”
“I did not!”
“You absolutely did!”
Remus smirked faintly into his drink.
Marlene flopped backwards dramatically.
“That was awful. I hated that.”
“You were smiling the whole time,” Alice said.
“That’s because I love suffering.”
Fabian raised his bottle.
“To suffering.”
They clinked.
Conversation drifted the way it always did during nights like this—scattered, overlapping, half ridiculous.
At some point Mary said, through laughter,
“You know what this reminds me of?”
“Trauma?” Gideon suggested.
“My mum nearly got me kidnapped when I was ten.”
Everyone paused.
James blinked.
“…What?”
Mary waved a hand dismissively.
“Oh not actually kidnapped, but like—probably almost.”
Lily stared at her.
“Mary.”
“What?”
“You cannot open with that sentence and then act casual.”
Mary grinned.
“So when I was younger,” she said, “this woman came up to me at a shopping centre and said I should be a model.”
Fabian leaned forward immediately.
“Oh no.”
“And she had business cards and everything,” Mary continued. “And she was like ‘you could be famous, darling.’”
Peter squinted.
“That sounds fake.”
“Exactly!” Mary said, pointing at him. “But ten-year-old me thought it was amazing.”
Marlene snorted.
“You believed it?”
“Of course I did! I was like ‘I’m going to be rich and glamorous.’”
“And your mum?”
Mary groaned dramatically.
“She told the woman to piss off.”
James laughed.
“A legend.”
“I was furious,” Mary continued. “I thought my mum had just destroyed my future celebrity career.”
Frank rubbed his face.
“That was one hundred percent a trafficking scam.”
“Oh absolutely,” Mary said cheerfully. “But at the time I was so mad.”
Alice giggled.
“Imagine if you’d gone.”
“Mary Macdonald: missing since 1973.”
“Found modelling handbags in Bulgaria,” Gideon added.
The room dissolved into laughter.
Even Remus chuckled quietly.
Lily wiped tears from her eyes.
“That is horrifying.”
“It is hilarious now,” Mary said.
James pointed at Marlene.
“Did you ever have one of those?”
Marlene scoffed.
“No, but my cousin did. Someone said she should be in adverts.”
“Was it real?”
“No idea.”
The conversation spiralled.
Frank admitted someone once tried to recruit him for a “youth football scholarship” that turned out to be completely fake.
Fabian told a story about a man who tried to convince Gideon he should be in toothpaste commercials.
“That one might’ve been legitimate,” Gideon protested.
“You were nine and had braces.”
“Exactly!”
More laughter.
And through it all—
Sirius Black had gone very still.
James noticed first.
Because James always noticed when Sirius went quiet.
“Pads?”
Sirius was staring at the floor with the strangest expression.
“What?” James said.
Sirius slowly looked up.
“…That reminds me of something.”
Remus raised an eyebrow.
“Oh dear.”
Lily tilted her head.
“What?”
Sirius hesitated.
Then he said casually—
“Regulus used to be on a television show.”
Silence fell.
Total.
Absolute.
Dead.
Silence.
James blinked.
“…What.”
Mary lowered the pillow from her face.
“I’m sorry—”
Fabian leaned forward.
“Repeat that.”
Sirius shrugged like this was normal information.
“When we lived in Japan.”
Everyone stared at him.
“YOU LIVED IN JAPAN?” Gideon yelled.
Sirius rolled his eyes.
“Yes, obviously.”
“That is not obvious!”
Frank looked stunned.
“I thought you grew up in England!”
“We moved when Reg was ten,” Sirius said. “I was eleven.”
Remus frowned slightly.
“That would’ve been right before Hogwarts.”
“Exactly,” Sirius said.
James was already vibrating with curiosity.
“And Regulus was on a show.”
Sirius nodded.
Mary leaned forward slowly.
“…What kind of show.”
Sirius tapped the card against his knee thoughtfully.
“It was a kids show.”
“Define kids show,” Marlene said.
Sirius grinned faintly.
“Oh you’re going to lose your minds.”
Everyone leaned in.
“Two seasons,” Sirius said. “Very popular in Japan.”
“What was it called?” Lily asked.
Sirius pronounced it carefully.
“Mado kara sakuranohanabira ga mau.”
Blank stares.
Peter blinked.
“…Did you just summon something.”
“It means ‘Cherry blossom petals drifting through the window,’” Sirius said.
James leaned forward.
“What was it about?”
Sirius stretched like he was preparing to tell a long story.
“It was set at this ridiculously fancy school.”
“Of course it was,” Fabian muttered.
“Private academy type thing,” Sirius continued. “All rich kids. Uniforms. Marble hallways.”
Mary gasped.
“That sounds amazing.”
“And inside the school,” Sirius said, “there was a club.”
James squinted.
“A club.”
Sirius grinned.
“A host club.”
The room went quiet again.
Remus slowly lowered his mug.
“…Explain.”
Sirius looked delighted.
“So the premise was that this group of boys ran a club where they entertained female students.”
Frank choked.
“At a kids school?”
“Relax,” Sirius said. “It was very wholesome.”
Gideon was already laughing.
“What did they do, serve tea?”
“Basically,” Sirius said.
Mary was staring now.
“And Regulus was on this?”
“Oh yes.”
Lily frowned.
“As what?”
Sirius paused for dramatic effect.
“The protagonist.”
James exploded.
“WHAT?”
Everyone started shouting at once.
“REGULUS?”
“YOUR LITTLE BROTHER?”
“THE SILENT SLYTHERIN GREMLIN?”
Sirius nodded smugly.
“Yes.”
Peter looked like his brain had broken.
“…He was the main character?”
“Yep.”
Mary slapped the mattress.
“WHAT DID HE DO?”
Sirius laughed.
“Okay, context. This was before he came out and transitioned.”
Remus nodded slowly.
“So he was playing a girl.”
“Correct.”
James collapsed onto his back laughing.
“I cannot believe this.”
Sirius continued, thoroughly enjoying himself.
“Reg’s character transferred into the school and accidentally broke an expensive vase belonging to the host club.”
Fabian grinned.
“Oh my god.”
“And because she couldn’t pay for it,” Sirius said, “she had to work for them.”
Mary shrieked.
“A DEBT PLOT?”
“Yes.”
Lily was already losing it.
“This is ridiculous.”
Sirius nodded.
“There were six boys in the host club.”
“Six?” Gideon repeated.
“Each one had a different personality,” Sirius said.
James sat up again.
“And they were all—”
“Love interests,” Sirius finished.
The room detonated.
Everyone screamed.
Peter fell off the chair.
Mary buried her face in the pillow again.
Marlene wheezed.
“A HAREM SHOW?”
Sirius grinned.
“Yes.”
Remus covered his face.
“I refuse to believe this.”
Frank was crying laughing.
“Regulus was in a CHILDREN’S HAREM DRAMA?”
“Very wholesome,” Sirius insisted.
“What was his character called?” Lily demanded.
Sirius leaned back.
“Hoshino Aiko.”
Mary shrieked again.
“OH MY GOD.”
James was clutching his stomach.
“I need to see this.”
“You can’t,” Sirius said.
“WHY NOT?”
“It aired in Japan eight years ago.”
Fabian wiped tears from his eyes.
“Did Regulus have a love interest?”
Sirius laughed.
“All six of them.”
The room erupted again.
Gideon slammed the bed.
“THIS IS THE BEST INFORMATION WE HAVE EVER LEARNED.”
Remus shook his head slowly.
“I cannot believe the terrifying Slytherin prince used to star in a children’s romance show.”
Sirius smirked.
“Oh you have no idea.”
Mary grabbed Sirius’s arm.
“WHAT ELSE HAPPENED.”
Sirius stretched smugly.
“Oh there were episodes where they held tea parties.”
James howled.
“NO.”
“And episodes where the boys competed to impress her.”
Peter whispered in horror.
“Oh my god.”
“And once,” Sirius said, grinning wickedly, “they did a beach episode.”
The entire dorm exploded into hysterical screaming.
Lily buried her face in her hands.
“Regulus Black had a beach episode.”
Frank gasped.
“I cannot breathe.”
Fabian pointed dramatically.
“We have to find footage.”
Remus looked horrified.
“Please don’t.”
“Oh we absolutely will,” Gideon said.
Sirius leaned back against the wall, laughing as the chaos spiralled.
Across the laptop screen the horror movie monster lunged again.
No one noticed.
Because the real horror—
Was the idea of Regulus Black.
Tiny.
Eight years old.
Standing in a fictional host club.
Surrounded by six dramatic love interests.
While cherry blossom petals drifted through the windows.
The Gryffindor dormitory had reached the point of the night where everything was loud, messy, and slightly unhinged.
Empty bottles sat on the floor.
Cards were scattered everywhere.
The horror movie still flickered on the laptop, forgotten.
And eleven Gryffindors were losing their collective minds.
“THIS IS NOT REAL,” Fabian Prewett yelled, pointing at Sirius like he had personally invented the lie.
“It is completely real,” Sirius Black said smugly.
Mary Macdonald was half collapsed across Remus’s bed.
“I refuse to believe Regulus Black had a harem anime childhood.”
“It wasn’t anime,” Sirius corrected lazily. “It was a live-action kids show.”
“That makes it WORSE,” Marlene McKinnon cried.
James Potter was vibrating with chaotic energy.
“Pads.”
Sirius looked at him.
“Yes, Prongs.”
“…Do you have proof.”
Sirius smiled slowly.
The room went silent.
“Oh my god,” Lily Evans whispered.
“Please tell me—”
Sirius stood up in one smooth movement.
“Do you want to see the opening?”
The entire room exploded.
“YES!”
“ARE YOU KIDDING?”
“PUT IT ON!”
“PLAY IT RIGHT NOW!”
Sirius grabbed the laptop off Lily’s knees before she could even react.
“Hey—!”
Too late.
He dropped onto James’s bed, already typing.
“Where did you even—” Remus started.
“It’s archived online,” Sirius said casually.
Fabian lunged forward.
“I swear to god if this is fake—”
Sirius spun the laptop around.
“Shut up and watch.”
Everyone crowded closer.
James and Peter practically climbed onto the bed.
The girls leaned in from behind.
Frank ended up kneeling on the floor.
Gideon rested his chin on Fabian’s shoulder.
Remus sat back but leaned just enough to see the screen.
Sirius clicked the video.
The screen went black.
Then—
Soft music began to play.
A gentle piano melody.
Cherry blossom petals drifted across the screen.
Elegant Japanese characters appeared.
“Mado kara sakuranohanabira ga mau.”
Pink petals floated through an open window into a bright, sunlit hallway of a ridiculously expensive school.
The Gryffindors stared.
“Holy shit,” James whispered.
“Look at the budget,” Lily murmured.
The camera swept across marble floors, chandeliers, stained glass windows.
Students in pristine uniforms walked through the halls.
Then—
A soft, sweet voice began to sing.
It was unmistakably young Regulus.
Small.
Light.
Gentle.
And the moment the voice said, bright and cheerful, “Kiss kiss fall in love!” the entire dorm erupted.
“OH MY GOD,” Mary screamed.
“That is REGULUS?”
Frank slapped the floor.
“THAT’S HIS VOICE?”
The song continued.
“Hey! Hey! Hey!”
Peter was clutching his face.
“WHY IS HE SO CUTE.”
On screen—
A girl appeared running through the school gates.
Long black hair.
Grey eyes.
Bright expression.
The Gryffindors froze.
“THAT’S REGULUS?” Fabian shouted.
Sirius leaned back smugly.
“Told you.”
Little Regulus—Hoshino Aiko—ran through falling cherry blossoms carrying a school bag.
His small voice continued sweetly over the music, saying softly, “Kidzukeba itsudemo soba ni iru keredo.”
Lily pressed a hand to her mouth.
“Oh my god he was adorable.”
The camera cut to a classroom.
Regulus tripping and knocking over a vase.
Everyone screamed.
“THERE’S THE DEBT PLOT,” James yelled.
The music continued while Regulus’s voice sang gently, “Honto wa kirai? suki? mousou na no?”
Then—
The screen burst into color.
A massive ornate door swung open.
Roses exploded across the screen.
Mary shrieked.
“THE HOST CLUB.”
Six boys appeared dramatically around a polished table.
Each one posed as rose petals spiraled around them.
Regulus’s voice continued softly, “Jibun no kimochi ga kuria ni mietara.”
The first boy stepped forward.
Blonde hair.
Elegant smile.
Gold roses surrounded him.
Fabian yelled, “WHY IS HE TWELVE AND ALREADY FLIRTING.”
Another boy spun into frame surrounded by blue roses.
Then a tall quiet one with white roses.
A mischievous one with orange roses.
A dramatic one surrounded by purple roses.
A shy one with green roses.
Each character struck a pose while petals rained around them.
The Gryffindors were screaming.
“This is insane,” Remus said faintly.
Then—
The music swelled.
Regulus appeared again.
Standing in the host club room.
Pink roses exploded behind him.
The camera zoomed in dramatically as petals swirled around him like a magical girl transformation.
His voice sang brightly, “Redii demo hosuto demo kamawanai yo.”
Mary clutched Lily’s arm.
“LOOK AT HIM.”
“He’s so pretty,” Lily whispered.
James leaned closer to the screen.
“That’s actually Reg.”
On screen—
Clips flashed rapidly.
Regulus being dragged by the boys into the host club.
Regulus pouring tea nervously.
Regulus blushing while six boys surrounded him.
The voice continued sweetly, saying, “Suki ni natteku riyuu wa minna.”
Peter was hyperventilating.
“I CANNOT PROCESS THIS.”
Another clip—
Regulus running through a garden while the host boys chased him.
The voice sang softly, “chigau yo ne kedo.”
Fabian wheezed.
“THIS IS THE MOST DRAMATIC CHILDREN’S SHOW EVER.”
Then—
A romantic slow-motion shot.
Cherry blossoms falling.
Regulus turning around slowly.
The voice sang brightly, “Maybe you're my love?!”
The Gryffindors screamed again.
“NO,” Marlene yelled.
“THIS IS TOO MUCH.”
The opening shifted to a montage.
Regulus laughing.
Regulus serving tea.
Regulus arguing with the host club boys.
The voice continued warmly, saying, “Aitai ima, yasashii kimi ni.”
Frank wiped tears from his eyes.
“This is the best night of my life.”
Another clip—
Regulus standing on a balcony as cherry blossoms exploded into the air.
The voice sang sweetly, “Sakura Kissu tokimeitara.”
James grabbed Sirius by the shoulders.
“WHY DID YOU NEVER TELL US.”
Sirius was laughing so hard he could barely breathe.
The montage kept going.
Regulus in a library.
Regulus dancing at a school party.
Regulus accidentally falling into one of the host boys’ arms.
The voice continued brightly, saying, “Ranman koi shiyo.”
The dormitory had descended into chaos.
Mary was shrieking.
Marlene was crying laughing.
Peter had fallen sideways off the bed.
The voice kept singing gently, saying, “Mirai yori mo.”
Then a dramatic slow-motion shot—
All seven characters running together across the school courtyard.
The voice continued sweetly, saying, “Ima ga kanjin.”
Lily was covering her face.
“I will never be able to look at Regulus normally again.”
Another montage.
Regulus smiling.
Regulus blushing.
The host boys posing dramatically.
The voice continued softly, saying, “Uruwashi haru no koi wa.”
Then—
A final shot.
Regulus standing beneath a massive cherry blossom tree while petals rained down around him.
The voice sang warmly, saying, “Hanasaku otome no Bigaku.”
The screen flashed white.
Then Regulus’s small voice chirped brightly one last time—
“Hey! Hey! Maybe you're my love.”
The opening ended.
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Then—
The Gryffindor dormitory exploded.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—”
“THAT WAS REGULUS.”
“HE WAS SO CUTE.”
“THE ROSES.”
“THE HOST CLUB.”
“THE BEACH EPISODE.”
James collapsed onto the bed laughing hysterically.
“I AM NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN.”
Mary screamed into a pillow.
“I NEED TO WATCH THE ENTIRE SERIES.”
Fabian wiped tears from his eyes.
“WE HAVE TO SHOW EVERYONE.”
Remus rubbed his temples.
“Oh dear.”
Frank looked dazed.
“The terrifying Slytherin prince.”
Peter nodded weakly.
“Used to sing kiss kiss fall in love.”
Gideon pointed dramatically at Sirius.
“You have ruined Regulus’s reputation forever.”
Sirius leaned back against the headboard, grinning like a menace.
“Oh no.”
He clicked the next video.
“That was just the opening.”
The screen changed.
A title appeared:
Hoshino Aiko — Iconic Moments Compilation
Mary shrieked again.
“ICONIC MOMENTS?”
The video began.
The first clip opened on the fancy academy courtyard.
Cherry blossom trees.
Students walking through the grounds.
A younger Regulus — long black hair tied with a ribbon — marched across the courtyard with a determined expression.
The Gryffindors leaned closer.
“Look at him,” Lily whispered.
“He’s so tiny,” Alice said.
Frank stared at the screen.
“He looks like a porcelain doll.”
Sirius smirked.
“Yep.”
On screen, one of the host club boys dramatically stepped into Regulus’s path.
The dub voice actor said smoothly, “Good afternoon, Miss Hoshino.”
Little Regulus stopped.
Hands on hips.
Grey eyes narrowed.
Then Regulus snapped in a surprisingly sharp little voice,
“I told you not to call me that! And why are you standing in the middle of the path like some kind of decorative statue?”
The entire dorm burst out laughing.
“THAT IS REGULUS,” James yelled.
“That attitude is identical,” Gideon wheezed.
On screen the boy said smugly, “Because you came to see me, of course.”
Regulus immediately shoved past him.
“Move.”
Fabian slapped the mattress.
“OH MY GOD.”
The clip cut.
New scene.
The host club room.
Golden chandeliers.
Velvet furniture.
Tea trays everywhere.
Regulus stood awkwardly holding a teapot while six boys lounged dramatically around the room.
One of them said, “Hoshino, you have to smile more for the guests.”
Regulus scowled.
“I am smiling.”
The boy leaned forward.
“That is not smiling.”
Regulus deadpanned, “This is the most smiling you are getting.”
The dormitory lost it.
“That is literally him,” Marlene cried.
“That is EXACTLY his personality,” Lily said.
Sirius laughed.
“See? Nothing’s changed.”
The clip cut again.
Another episode.
Regulus walking down a hallway carrying books.
One of the host boys dramatically leaned against the lockers.
“Miss Hoshino, would you like me to escort you to class?”
Regulus didn’t even stop walking.
“No.”
The boy chased after.
“But it would be romantic.”
Regulus turned, pointed at him, and said flatly,
“If you walk next to me people will assume I’m responsible for your personality.”
The Gryffindors screamed.
James fell backwards laughing.
“That is the most Regulus insult I’ve ever heard.”
Remus rubbed his face.
“I cannot believe this exists.”
The video jumped again.
Another scene.
A garden party.
Fancy tables.
Students drinking tea.
One of the host boys dramatically presented Regulus with a bouquet of roses.
“Hoshino, these reminded me of you.”
Regulus stared at the flowers.
Then said bluntly,
“They’re pink.”
“Yes?”
“I hate pink.”
The boy looked devastated.
The dormitory exploded again.
Frank wheezed.
“He’s roasting them!”
Peter pointed at the screen.
“Look at his face!”
On screen little Regulus looked unbelievably pretty.
Big grey eyes.
Long black hair.
A delicate expression.
But the personality was pure menace.
Mary clutched Lily’s arm.
“I can’t believe that’s the same person.”
Lily nodded slowly.
“I’ve never seen him like this.”
Sirius shrugged.
“None of you have.”
The clip changed again.
Another episode.
The host club boys were dramatically fighting over who would escort Regulus to a school dance.
“Allow me to accompany Hoshino!”
“No, I will!”
“I asked first!”
Regulus stood in the middle of them looking exhausted.
Finally Regulus said flatly,
“You all realize I can walk by myself.”
The boys froze.
“…But that wouldn’t be romantic.”
Regulus sighed.
“Everything you say sounds like it was written by a poet who has never spoken to another human being.”
Fabian screamed.
“That’s brutal!”
Gideon clutched his stomach.
“He’s destroying them!”
Next clip.
The beach episode.
The moment it appeared on screen the dormitory lost it again.
“THERE IT IS,” James yelled.
The host club boys ran across the beach in dramatic slow motion.
Regulus sat under an umbrella reading a book.
One of the boys ran up.
“Hoshino! Come swim with us!”
Regulus didn’t look up.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t trust any of you around water.”
The boy blinked.
“Why?”
Regulus looked up slowly and said,
“Because statistically one of you will try to turn it into a romantic moment.”
The Gryffindors were crying laughing.
Mary was sliding off the bed.
“THIS CHILD WAS SAVAGE.”
The video jumped again.
Another clip.
Regulus standing in the host club room with arms crossed.
One of the boys dramatically said,
“Hoshino, what kind of man do you like?”
Regulus thought for a second.
Then said,
“One who talks less.”
Every single Gryffindor screamed.
James grabbed Sirius.
“HOW DID YOU SURVIVE GROWING UP WITH HIM.”
Sirius shrugged.
“Barely.”
Next clip.
A dramatic rain scene.
Regulus standing outside the school gates.
One of the host boys ran after.
“Hoshino! Wait!”
Regulus turned slowly.
The boy said softly, “You know we care about you, right?”
Regulus looked embarrassed.
“…You’re all idiots.”
“But you like us.”
Regulus sighed.
“…Maybe a little.”
The dormitory collectively groaned.
“THAT WAS ADORABLE,” Alice said.
Lily nodded.
“That was actually sweet.”
James wiped his eyes.
“I cannot process that this is Regulus.”
The video moved into a rapid montage.
Regulus pouring tea.
Regulus accidentally breaking something expensive.
Regulus being dragged into group activities.
Regulus arguing with the host boys.
Regulus blushing.
Regulus yelling.
Regulus rolling their eyes.
Regulus running through falling cherry blossoms.
The Gryffindors watched in stunned disbelief.
Mary finally said quietly,
“He was really good.”
Remus nodded.
“Yes.”
Fabian pointed at the screen.
“He had main character energy.”
Frank leaned back on his hands.
“I can’t believe he did two seasons of this.”
Peter said weakly,
“And we’ve been insulting him for years.”
James sat up slowly.
A dangerous grin spreading across his face.
“Oh no.”
Sirius immediately recognized that grin.
“Oh yes,” Sirius said.
James turned toward the others.
“We have the greatest blackmail material in Hogwarts history.”
Mary gasped.
“We can’t tell him we saw this.”
Fabian grinned wickedly.
“We absolutely can.”
Gideon pointed dramatically.
“Imagine his face.”
Remus sighed.
“Oh dear.”
Sirius leaned back, satisfied.
On the laptop screen—
Cherry blossom petals drifted across the academy courtyard.
And tiny Regulus Black glared at six overly dramatic boys while holding a teacup like he was judging the entire world.
The Gryffindor dormitory had reached a new level of chaos.
People were still sprawled across beds and the floor, clutching their stomachs from laughing too hard.
The laptop glow illuminated eleven stunned faces.
And Sirius Black had just made the most dangerous discovery of the night.
His eyes widened.
Then he made a slow, delighted noise.
“Ooooo.”
James immediately looked over.
“What.”
Sirius leaned forward, grinning like someone who had just discovered a hidden vault full of blackmail material.
“Oh this is incredible.”
Fabian leaned over his shoulder.
“What is it.”
Sirius turned the laptop so everyone could see the title.
“Hoshino Aiko — Romance Scene Compilation (All Love Interests + Special Episode)”
The room exploded.
“NO WAY.”
“PLAY IT.”
“RIGHT NOW.”
Peter nearly knocked Frank over trying to see the screen.
Mary slapped Sirius’s arm.
“HURRY UP.”
Sirius clicked the video.
The screen faded in.
Soft music began.
Cherry blossoms drifted across the frame.
Then elegant text appeared:
“Six Love Stories of Hoshino Aiko”
James clutched his face.
“I cannot believe Regulus had SIX romantic arcs.”
Sirius leaned back smugly.
“Oh just wait.”
The first section appeared.
Love Interest #1 — Haruki Takamori
A boy with blonde hair and a confident smile appeared surrounded by gold roses.
Fabian immediately pointed.
“That one’s the smug one.”
On screen, Haruki leaned against a window dramatically.
A younger Regulus walked past carrying books.
Haruki said smoothly, “Hoshino, you look lonely today.”
Little Regulus looked at him.
“…I’m walking to class.”
Haruki smiled.
“Then I’ll walk with you.”
Regulus sighed but didn’t argue.
The scene cut.
Now they were in the host club room.
Haruki poured tea and said softly, “You work too hard.”
Regulus crossed their arms.
“You don’t work at all.”
Haruki leaned closer.
“That’s because I prefer watching you.”
The dormitory screamed.
“OH MY GOD,” Mary yelled.
“That’s so dramatic,” Lily laughed.
On screen Haruki gently tucked a cherry blossom petal out of Regulus’s hair.
Regulus blushed slightly.
James slapped the bed.
“THE BLUSH.”
The clip ended.
Next section.
Love Interest #2 — Ren Shiraishi
A tall quiet boy surrounded by white roses.
Remus leaned forward.
“He looks like the brooding type.”
“Correct,” Sirius said.
On screen Ren stood silently in the library.
Regulus entered carrying books.
Ren quietly took half of them.
“You shouldn’t carry so much by yourself.”
Regulus blinked.
“…You don’t even know where I’m going.”
Ren replied calmly,
“I’ll follow you until I find out.”
Alice melted instantly.
“That’s adorable.”
Another clip played.
Rain pouring outside.
Regulus stood under a small umbrella.
Ren stepped beside them and silently held the umbrella over both of them.
Regulus said softly,
“You didn’t have to walk me home.”
Ren shrugged slightly.
“I wanted to.”
The Gryffindors groaned.
“That one’s winning,” Frank said.
“Brooding boys always win,” Marlene added.
Next section.
Love Interest #3 — Daichi Mori
Orange roses exploded across the screen.
Daichi appeared running through the school courtyard like an excited puppy.
“AH,” Gideon said immediately. “The chaos one.”
On screen Daichi grabbed Regulus’s hand.
“Hoshino! Let’s skip class!”
Regulus stared at him.
“…No.”
Daichi grinned.
“Too late!”
The next clip showed them on the school roof eating snacks.
Regulus sighed.
“If we get detention this is your fault.”
Daichi laughed.
“You say that like it isn’t worth it.”
Regulus tried not to smile.
Mary grabbed Lily’s arm.
“That one’s cute.”
Next section.
Love Interest #4 — Kaito Aizawa
Purple roses spiraled around the screen.
Kaito appeared dramatically flipping his hair.
Fabian groaned.
“Oh that one’s unbearable.”
On screen Kaito knelt dramatically in front of Regulus.
“Hoshino, you are the moon to my night sky.”
Regulus blinked.
“…You’ve been reading poetry again.”
Another clip.
Kaito attempted to serenade Regulus with a violin.
Regulus slowly pushed the violin down.
“You are alarming the wildlife.”
The dormitory erupted again.
“HE ROASTED HIM,” James yelled.
Next section.
Love Interest #5 — Sora Minamoto
Green roses appeared.
Sora looked shy and awkward.
Peter leaned closer.
“That one’s the nervous one.”
On screen Sora nervously handed Regulus a handmade charm.
“I made this for you.”
Regulus examined it carefully.
“…You made this?”
Sora nodded.
Regulus quietly attached it to their bag.
“…Thank you.”
The dorm went quiet for a second.
“Aww,” Lily said softly.
Next section.
Love Interest #6 — Yuji Nakamura
Blue roses spiraled around a serious looking boy.
On screen Yuji stood beside Regulus during a school festival.
“You shouldn’t trust the others,” Yuji said calmly.
Regulus looked at him.
“Why not.”
Yuji replied,
“Because they’re all trying to impress you.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow.
“And you aren’t?”
Yuji paused.
“…I am.”
The Gryffindors groaned dramatically.
“Okay that one’s smooth,” Gideon admitted.
Then the video title changed.
Special Episode — The Rival Host Club
Sirius grinned.
“Oh this one’s good.”
On screen—
A different school.
A ballroom.
A group of girls in host uniforms walked into the room dramatically.
The Gryffindors leaned forward.
“Wait,” Lily said slowly.
“The host club is… girls?”
The leader stepped forward.
Tall.
Elegant.
Dark hair tied back.
Rose petals exploded around her.
Text appeared:
Mizuki Takahashi — Leader of the Rose Court
Mary screamed.
“Oh my god.”
On screen Mizuki approached Regulus slowly.
The male host club boys immediately stepped between them.
Haruki said suspiciously, “What do you want.”
Mizuki ignored him completely.
She bowed slightly to Regulus.
“So you’re Hoshino Aiko.”
Regulus blinked.
“…Yes.”
Mizuki smiled softly.
“You’re even more charming in person.”
The dormitory went silent.
“…Wait,” Fabian said slowly.
Mizuki extended her hand.
“May I have this dance?”
The male host club exploded in protest.
“Absolutely not!”
“She belongs to our club!”
Mizuki rolled her eyes.
“I wasn’t asking you.”
Then she gently took Regulus’s hand.
And spun them across the ballroom.
The Gryffindors lost their minds.
“WHAT,” Mary screamed.
“She dipped her!”
On screen Mizuki dipped Regulus gracefully.
Regulus squeaked in surprise.
The boys tried to intervene.
Mizuki turned sharply.
“If any of you try to interrupt again I will throw you out a window.”
Frank clapped.
“I like her.”
Another clip played.
Mizuki standing protectively beside Regulus during a competition.
One of the male hosts said angrily, “This is our territory.”
Mizuki replied calmly,
“Hoshino deserves better than six dramatic idiots.”
The dormitory howled.
“She hates them,” Gideon said gleefully.
Another clip.
Regulus laughing while Mizuki spun them around during a dance.
Mary clutched her chest.
“That’s the best ship.”
The video ended.
The dormitory sat there stunned.
Then everyone started talking at once.
“That girl should’ve won.”
“Absolutely.”
“She was cooler than all six of them.”
James leaned forward.
“Wait.”
He scrolled down.
“Oh my god.”
“What,” Sirius asked.
James pointed at the comments.
Thousands of them.
The Gryffindors leaned in.
One comment read:
“Aiko should have ended up with Ren. The umbrella scene proves they were meant to be.”
Another replied:
“Wrong. Haruki was clearly the main love interest.”
Another comment:
“The beach episode literally confirmed Daichi liked her the most.”
Another one:
“Kaito deserved a chance. His violin scene was romantic.”
Fabian laughed.
“They’re fighting.”
Mary pointed.
“Scroll more.”
Another comment:
“Season two ending ruined everything. Aiko didn’t pick anyone.”
Another:
“That was the point. She chose independence.”
Another:
“MIZUKI WAS ROBBED.”
The Gryffindors screamed.
“Yes,” Lily said firmly.
“She absolutely was.”
James leaned back slowly.
His grin was feral.
“This is the greatest discovery in Hogwarts history.”
Remus sighed quietly.
“Oh dear.”
The Gryffindor dormitory had reached a level of hysteria that was approaching structural damage.
Everyone was still yelling about ships.
Mary was insisting Mizuki should have won.
James was arguing that the umbrella guy had the strongest narrative arc.
Fabian and Gideon were dramatically reading comment arguments like they were war declarations.
Frank was still wheezing.
Remus had the quiet, exhausted expression of someone witnessing the collapse of civilization.
And Sirius Black—
Was scrolling.
Slowly.
Dangerously.
Then Sirius suddenly froze.
His grin widened.
“Oh this,” he said delightedly.
James looked over immediately.
“What did you find.”
Sirius turned the laptop so everyone could see.
The title read:
“Mado kara Sakuranohanabira ga Mau — Bloopers & Behind the Scenes”
The room detonated.
“PLAY IT.”
“IMMEDIATELY.”
“I NEED THIS.”
Sirius clicked.
The video began with cheerful music.
Then—
CLIP ONE
The host club room.
The actors stood in position.
Haruki’s actor—now labeled with his real name Takumi Hayashi—leaned against the table.
Young Regulus stood in front of him in costume.
Takumi said in character,
“Hoshino, you look beautiful today—”
Then he stopped.
Blinking.
“…Wait.”
He frowned.
“That wasn’t the line.”
The director off camera sighed.
“Take two.”
Regulus burst out laughing.
The Gryffindors cracked up immediately.
“HE BROKE FIRST,” James yelled.
The clip restarted.
Takumi tried again.
“Hoshino, you look beauti—”
He froze again.
“…I forgot it again.”
Regulus lost it completely.
The little Regulus doubled over laughing.
Mary clutched her chest.
“That laugh is adorable.”
CLIP TWO
Ren’s actor—Kaito Fujimoto—stood under a fake rain machine holding an umbrella.
Regulus stood across from him.
Kaito said the line seriously,
“You shouldn’t walk alone.”
Then Regulus said confidently,
“I’m not alone. I have my books.”
Kaito blinked.
“That’s not your line.”
Regulus froze.
“…Isn’t it?”
The director groaned.
James screamed laughing.
“He just invented dialogue!”
CLIP THREE
Daichi’s actor—Riku Tanaka—was supposed to grab Regulus’s hand and run.
Instead he tripped.
Completely wiped out.
Regulus immediately tripped over him.
Both kids hit the ground.
Then both of them started laughing hysterically.
Peter wheezed.
“They’re chaos.”
CLIP FOUR
Kaito Aizawa’s actor—Haruto Nakamura—was mid dramatic speech.
“Hoshino, you are the moon to my night—”
Then he suddenly forgot the line.
His brain short-circuited.
He started word vomiting.
“You are the moon to my—uh—the sky—like the sky but also the night—like the stars—uh—romantic—moon—”
Regulus stared at him.
Then burst out laughing.
The director yelled,
“Cut!”
The Gryffindors were screaming.
Fabian wiped tears away.
“That poor kid.”
CLIP FIVE
Sora’s actor—Kenji Mori—was supposed to hand Regulus a charm.
Instead he got nervous.
Dropped it.
Both of them bent down to grab it.
Bonk.
Their heads collided.
Regulus immediately fell backwards laughing.
Kenji apologized about fifteen times.
CLIP SIX
Yuji’s actor—Shin Aoyama—was delivering a serious line.
“Hoshino, I think you deserve bet—”
Then Regulus walked the wrong direction.
Directly into a camera.
The entire camera shook.
Regulus froze.
Then immediately bowed to the camera operator.
“I’m sorry!”
The Gryffindors exploded.
“HE APOLOGIZED TO THE CAMERA,” Gideon shouted.
CLIP SEVEN
A romantic scene.
Haruki was supposed to lean close.
Instead both kids leaned at the same time.
Accidental kiss.
Both froze.
The entire set erupted with laughter.
Regulus screamed in embarrassment.
Mary shrieked.
“THEY KISSED.”
CLIP EIGHT
A ballroom scene.
Cherry blossom petals falling everywhere.
Daichi’s actor suddenly inhaled one.
He started choking.
Regulus immediately started panicking.
“Are you okay?”
Crew members rushed in.
The Gryffindors were dying.
CLIP NINE
Tea party scene.
Kenji tried to pour tea.
Completely missed the cup.
Tea everywhere.
Regulus stared at the mess.
Then slowly looked up at the camera like he was questioning reality.
James slammed the bed.
“That face!”
CLIP TEN
Serious emotional scene.
Haruto was trying to deliver a dramatic monologue.
Behind him—
Regulus made the most ridiculous face imaginable.
Crossed eyes.
Puffed cheeks.
Haruto immediately lost it laughing.
Director yelling:
“Stop making faces!”
The Gryffindors howled.
CLIP ELEVEN
A microphone pole dipped too low.
BONK.
It smacked the top of Regulus’s head.
Little Regulus yelped loudly.
“OW!”
Then rubbed his head and pouted.
The dormitory collapsed laughing.
“He looked so offended,” Mary wheezed.
CLIP TWELVE
Behind the scenes.
Regulus waddling dramatically across set in a giant ballgown.
Huffing.
“I can’t run in this.”
Takumi laughed behind the camera.
“You look like a princess.”
Regulus puffed his cheeks.
“I hate dresses.”
The Gryffindors went silent for a moment.
Then Lily said softly,
“…That tracks.”
CLIP THIRTEEN
Another behind-the-scenes moment.
The boys filming a scene.
In the background—
Someone wearing a full host uniform stood silently.
The camera zoomed in.
It was Regulus.
Arms crossed.
Looking smug.
The director noticed.
“…Why are you in the background.”
Regulus shrugged.
“I wanted to try the uniform.”
The entire cast burst out laughing.
James screamed.
“OF COURSE HE DID.”
CLIP FOURTEEN
A scene where Haruki was supposed to say “Hoshino.”
Instead he accidentally said,
“Akari.”
Everyone froze.
Regulus looked confused.
“That’s not my character name.”
Takumi covered his face.
“Sorry!”
The Gryffindors leaned forward.
“…Akari?” Lily repeated.
Sirius nodded casually.
“That was Reg’s name before transition.”
The dormitory went quiet.
Mary blinked.
“Akari Black?”
Sirius shrugged.
“Akari Kurokawa back then.”
Frank said softly,
“I didn’t know that.”
Sirius leaned back.
“Most people don’t.”
The video continued.
CLIP FIFTEEN
Behind the scenes chaos.
All seven kids playing tag through the set hallways.
Running.
Laughing.
Crew members yelling.
Regulus bouncing around like a hyper puppy.
Grinning.
Climbing onto furniture.
The Gryffindors noticed immediately.
“He’s so energetic,” Alice said.
Sirius nodded.
“He got to run around with the boys on set.”
James frowned slightly.
“…So he didn’t have to act like a girl.”
“Exactly,” Sirius said.
On screen—
Regulus tackled Riku onto a couch.
The boys laughing.
Takumi calling out,
“Akari, that’s cheating!”
Regulus shouted back,
“No it’s not!”
CLIP SIXTEEN
The actors sitting together during lunch.
Takumi teasing Regulus.
“You’re the princess of the show.”
Regulus immediately shoved him.
“I’m not!”
Kenji grinned.
“You are though.”
Regulus crossed his arms.
“I’m the boss.”
All six boys laughed.
Then Takumi quietly said,
“…You kind of are.”
The Gryffindors noticed something.
Mary squinted.
“…Wait.”
Lily leaned closer.
“Do they…”
Fabian nodded slowly.
“They liked him.”
Sirius smirked.
“Oh they absolutely did.”
On screen—
All six boys watching Regulus run around the set like a hurricane.
Kenji whispered,
“She’s cute.”
Takumi nodded slowly.
“Yeah.”
The video ended.
The Gryffindors stared at Sirius.
“…They had crushes on him,” James said.
Sirius nodded.
“Yep.”
Mary leaned forward slowly.
“And you said he still talks to them?”
Sirius grinned.
“Oh yeah.”
Fabian blinked.
“Wait.”
Sirius stretched lazily.
“They’re all still friends.”
James leaned closer.
“…And the crushes?”
Sirius burst out laughing.
“Oh they got worse.”
The dormitory exploded.
“WHAT?”
“AFTER PUBERTY?”
“AND HIS TRANSITION?”
Sirius nodded.
“Now they’re all tall, awkward, extremely nervous men who still don’t know how to flirt.”
Mary wheezed.
“That’s incredible.”
Gideon wiped tears from his eyes.
“So somewhere in Japan…”
Frank finished weakly,
“…six grown men are still in love with Regulus Black.”
Sirius grinned.
“Basically.”