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They have been in this scenario multiple times before. An unobserved room, in this case a neglected storage space of the school, dim lighting, low voices, the both of their eyes flitting in the direction of the entryway to confirm once again that they were alone. Yoshiki sits atop a stack of boxes, placing himself at a height that is slightly lower than 'Hikaru' standing in front of him. Tension between them with an air that 'Hikaru' can identify as scandalous, a suspense from the knowledge that what they’re doing isn’t appropriate, at least not here.
What exactly they intend to do now however, they haven’t done before.
Yoshiki is jittery, more so than he has been before. The anticipation this time is different. In those instances when Yoshiki had reached into 'Hikaru'’s insides, his expression had been laced with shock amongst his morbid intrigue. Now, Yoshiki’s face is redder, and he hasn’t looked directly at 'Hikaru' since they entered the room.
'Hikaru' can feel his insides mirroring those jitters. He didn’t think the tension of their approach would affect him, even though technically it’s Yoshiki’s shy reaction that’s catching his attention more than the set-up itself.
It was 'Hikaru'’s own suggestion to ask if they could experiment with kissing. It’s something 'Hikaru' has never done before, and yet something that seems to be very significant to humans. He doesn’t have the physical urge itself driving him, not like he does for other kinds of touches such as the ones reaching into him and closer to his core, but the sheer curiosity is enough for him. He wants to know what he has missed trying so far, and Yoshiki is the person with whom he wants to share every experience.
'Hikaru' decides it has to be him if they want to break the ice and begin. “Do ya want me to…?” 'Hikaru' gestures with a hand out towards Yoshiki.
“Just… Gimme a sec,” Yoshiki says, his eyes determined to be fixed on one of the floorboards. “I’ve never done this before either.”
Much like he had been when 'Hikaru' first mentioned the idea, Yoshiki’s signals are as mixed as the both of them are with each other. When 'Hikaru' had asked, Yoshiki had been frozen, silent for some time before he mumbled out in agreement. Now, his exterior displays much of the same, firmly positioned in front of 'Hikaru' while his eyes look everywhere but 'Hikaru' himself, and 'Hikaru' can’t pick apart his hesitancy from his willingness. What 'Hikaru' can sense from here however are the nerves that are making Yoshiki almost tremble. It’s evidently an additional layer of emotion that 'Hikaru' isn’t feeling, but one he can at least be witness to through Yoshiki. Whatever it is, 'Hikaru' is willing to give Yoshiki the time to sit with it.
“Okay.” Yoshiki presses his lips together as he finally tears his gaze away from the floor, looking up and making eye contact with 'Hikaru' at last. “You can start.”
The thought crosses 'Hikaru'’s mind that he doesn’t have any more of an idea of how to begin as Yoshiki does. Are people supposed to automatically know how to approach this when the time comes? All 'Hikaru' has as an example of how to kiss is what he has come across in the books and movies, which he supposes is a start.
He reaches forward with the same hand he gestured with before. He takes a step closer towards Yoshiki and places his hand on Yoshiki’s cheek. Yoshiki’s hands grip the edge of the cardboard box he sits atop. Yoshiki’s eyes blink in a quick flutter and drop from looking at 'Hikaru's face, but his head ever so slightly tilts to lean into 'Hikaru's hand.
'Hikaru' takes it as an allowance to continue. He leans over Yoshiki, bringing his face closer to Yoshiki’s own. 'Hikaru' purses his lips. He watches as Yoshiki’s eyes drop closed as 'Hikaru' bridges the gap between them.
Their lips make contact. There’s pressure in Yoshiki’s lips, making the sensation of the kiss oddly stiff despite the softer surface. 'Hikaru' holds the kiss, unsure how long is expected of him. Half of his line of sight consists of Yoshiki’s head and his black hair that is tickling at 'Hikaru'’s face, while 'Hikaru' stares at the wall behind Yoshiki’s head. He stays until he feels Yoshiki begin to withdraw, following the cue to also pull away and drop his hand from Yoshiki’s face.
Yoshiki opens his eyes. He bites at his lip, brow furrowing in thought, and brings a hand up to cover his mouth.
This wasn’t it; 'Hikaru' knows that much. He may not be familiar with exactly how it’s supposed to go, but they definitely haven’t succeeded. 'Hikaru' doesn’t even have a memory to draw from to work this out, since the original Hikaru didn’t do this either. Perhaps it might have come more easily for the human Hikaru if he had gotten the chance for a first kiss, as even just his active urge for it could have been a more useful guide.
“Okay…” Yoshiki’s voice is mumbled behind his hand as he finally breaks the agonising silence. “That wasn’t great but…” With Yoshiki’s other hand, he reaches for 'Hikaru'’s wrist to hold it, gently pulling him closer again. “We can… try again.”
Yoshiki’s words and the touch at 'Hikaru'’s wrist are an immediate dose of relief. “Is there somethin’ I should do different this time?” 'Hikaru' asks.
Yoshiki drops the hand that has been covering his mouth. He’s no longer biting his lip. He looks up at 'Hikaru' and quirks his mouth in a way that resembles a pout. “You should maybe close yer eyes, it feels kinda weird to be stared at while we do it.”
If Yoshiki was going to act like he knew more than 'Hikaru', then Yoshiki probably should have been the one to direct them more from the start, especially being the actual human one of them both. 'Hikaru' can’t keep a smirk from creeping onto his face at Yoshiki’s critique, paired with Yoshiki’s expression that an uninformed observer may view as judgemental while 'Hikaru' can only find it endearing. Somehow, messing up their first kiss has worked out for the better, the air between them having shifted.
“What?” Yoshiki questions towards 'Hikaru'’s grin.
'Hikaru' doesn’t answer. He simply leans into Yoshiki again for another attempt at their kiss. 'Hikaru' tilts his head this time, allowing for more fitting contact between them when they meet. Yoshiki makes a little noise when their lips connect, more startled this time by 'Hikaru'’s quicker approach. It’s cute.
Listening to Yoshiki’s earlier instruction, 'Hikaru' lets his eyes close. He almost immediately realises why Yoshiki told him to do it, instantly more aware of every point of contact between their lips, and the hold that Yoshiki still has at his wrist. The loosened tension between them has evidently spread to their features as well, as Yoshiki’s lips feel more pliant this time. 'Hikaru' feels bold enough to move his lips at Yoshiki’s, and this time, Yoshiki is not frozen stiff as he moves with 'Hikaru' instead of against him. The sensation of kissing is new, odd, but so interesting at the same time. 'Hikaru' had underestimated the warmth of Yoshiki’s mouth, the wetness of their saliva together, and the sounds of their lips against each other.
Yoshiki pulls his head back slightly for a moment to exhale, his breath puffing at 'Hikaru'’s mouth, before he breathes in and leans forward again to continue. 'Hikaru' moves both of his hands to the sides of Yoshiki’s face, his fingers curling as if to pull Yoshiki closer. Yoshiki’s grip on 'Hikaru'’s wrist loosens and his hands move to hold the front of 'Hikaru'’s shirt.
Yoshiki hums, and both the sound and sensation at 'Hikaru'’s lips are so pleasant, as is the message that this response sends to 'Hikaru'. This is better, this is more like it, keep doing this. The thought that 'Hikaru' is doing it right, that Yoshiki is enjoying himself, is what 'Hikaru' is quickly finding to be his favourite part about doing this. The very realisation makes him even more encouraged to keep going, and he pushes further into Yoshiki’s mouth, craving to get closer, deeper, if it would mean he can do more for Yoshiki.
His tongue breaches Yoshiki’s mouth, and Yoshiki gasps, but doesn’t stop. 'Hikaru' feels the rough sensation of Yoshiki’s tongue tentatively meeting his own between them. Yoshiki makes an eager sound in 'Hikaru'’s mouth. 'Hikaru' feels the material of his shirt pulling at his body, Yoshiki’s grip tightening near his chest.
'Hikaru'’s eyes only open once again when he feels Yoshiki withdraw for longer this time. Yoshiki is breathing quicker now, almost panting, between his now parted and full lips. It occurs to 'Hikaru' that Yoshiki needs to separate himself in this moment to breathe, something that 'Hikaru' has almost forgotten about in the process of kissing. Especially since there is no need for 'Hikaru' to take in oxygen of his own, nothing stopping him from completely indulging in Yoshiki and only Yoshiki for as long as he wants.
It doesn’t take much longer for Yoshiki to reach for the collar of 'Hikaru'’s shirt now to pull him down to his mouth again.
'Hikaru' is amazed at the effect that kissing is having on Yoshiki, how Yoshiki continued for as long as he could until he had to separate to breathe before leaping right back in again. How Yoshiki’s face has become so pink, how there is a gleam on his lips now. The way 'Hikaru' can almost hear Yoshiki’s heart beating quickly, louder in intensity.
'Hikaru' can recognise he’s not feeling exactly the same feelings that Yoshiki is, that the physical effects on the both of them seem to be different. It’s in the additional level of shyness in Yoshiki’s movements, his trembles, the heat emanating from Yoshiki’s body and the blush that spreads more rapidly at his cheeks, that indicate that they’re not experiencing this in exactly the same way. But 'Hikaru' is enjoying himself nevertheless. The act of kissing feels nice, and there’s something so special about doing this with Yoshiki. 'Hikaru' knows he is the only one, the only person who Yoshiki would feel comfortable enough to do this with, the only person who gets to see Yoshiki like this. In turn, Yoshiki is also the only person 'Hikaru' would ever want to do this with. It reaffirms that they’ve got something unique between them, and only each other. It’s making 'Hikaru' feel even closer to him by the second.
At the edges of 'Hikaru'’s body, he feels the structure dissipating, twisting into the thick fluid of his undefinable form which reaches towards Yoshiki. Yoshiki’s soul is so close, it feels as if 'Hikaru' wouldn’t even need to actively take it, but merely let it enter into him on its own, halfway there already. 'Hikaru'’s monstrous form crawls along Yoshiki’s skin, reaching behind his back to envelop him in an embrace. Yoshiki gasps, but sinks into it.
'Hikaru's eyes are closed again, but he can see Yoshiki, the essence of him, glowing in front of him. Everything else around them, their environment, the people in the school, the village, is forgotten. It’s all irrelevant at this moment as he melts into Yoshiki. All that floods 'Hikaru'’s senses is warmth, the light that is Yoshiki’s soul, the sound of Yoshiki’s human breaths and whimpers. He’s not just experiencing this with Yoshiki, but he’s experiencing Yoshiki himself. 'Hikaru' can’t tell now where his physical body ends and his true form begins, but every state of his being is directed by the desire to revolve around Yoshiki. To preserve and protect his perfection and hold onto him forever. It might not be what any human, or even any other being alive, defines as love, but it’s what 'Hikaru' can say with his entirety that this feeling is what it is for him. He loves Yoshiki. He loves him so much.
'Hikaru' is pushed away by a sudden movement at his chest. The action snaps him back into physical reality, and his form withdraws from where it had entered into Yoshiki, reforming as human body parts again. Yoshiki is coughing, gasping for breath, hunched where he remains on top of the boxes.
“Yoshiki!” 'Hikaru' reaches out towards Yoshiki, but keeps his hands hovering in front of him, unsure how welcome his touch would be right now. “Are ya alright? Did I hurt you?!”
Yoshiki shakes his head as he gets out the remainder of his coughs. He clears his throat. “I’m fine,” he says, his voice hoarse. “Jus’ couldn’t breathe anymore.”
“I got too carried away again, didn’t I,” 'Hikaru' says. “I’m sorry, I won’t-”
Yoshiki shakes his head, more vigorously this time, enough for his bangs to swish in front of his eyes. “No, it’s-” he says. “It feels… good. When ya do that. I jus’ hit my limit for how long I can do it for, that’s all.”
“Oh…” 'Hikaru' doesn’t know what to do with that. He trusts Yoshiki, of course he does, but he can’t help the fear of Yoshiki downplaying any hurt that 'Hikaru' can cause. Yoshiki is only human after all, and it’s too easy for 'Hikaru' to get so swept up and overpower the boy. He has a tendency to lose himself when it comes to Yoshiki’s soul.
“I mean it,” Yoshiki says. He slides off the boxes he has been sitting on, his feet landing back on the ground and standing up to his full height. Yoshiki steps towards 'Hikaru', and 'Hikaru' has to now look up to meet his eyes. Yoshiki is the one to touch 'Hikaru' again, placing his hands at 'Hikaru'’s shoulders. “I really did like that.”
Yoshiki’s cheeks are still red, his lips are wet, his shirt is creased, and his eyes are kind. He’s the only person and place that 'Hikaru' can trust.
“So um,” 'Hikaru' begins carefully. “Is this somethin’... ya’d wanna do again or… nah…?” He can handle almost any answer of Yoshiki’s. 'Hikaru' doesn’t need to kiss him again, but a part of him would like to have the chance to do so. Most of all however, he only hopes he didn’t ruin it for Yoshiki.
Yoshiki nods. His hands at 'Hikaru'’s shoulders give an assuring squeeze. “I’d wanna,” he says, the corners of his lips lifting in a soft smile.