Chapter Text
Illuga only catches the very last moment of that argument.
The trauma room doors muffle the heated conversation inside. Through the glass, Illuga sees how it escalates from the central bay.
He sees Lohen step in, trying to defuse the situation. The next second, Lohen gets shoved and goes down, hitting the back of his head on the floor.
Everything immediately goes into chaos.
Someone shouts, “Security!” A med student freezes where he stands. Nurses rush to Lohen. The agitated family is pulled away. Around the ER, conversations die mid-sentence as people turn to watch.
And Lohen is still on the floor, unconscious——
Oh no, wait, he’s cursing. No loss of consciousness. That snaps Illuga back to reality.
One moment he’s still a few metres away, the next, he’s by Lohen’s side.
“Lohen…” Illuga reaches out and puts his hand on Lohen’s shoulder. His throat tightens, the rest of the sentence dies in his mouth.
The floor is still a mess. Blood, gloves, torn wrapping everywhere from the resuscitation. And there’s Lohen, still on the floor. Blinking through the impact.
He’s speaking. No visible bleeding.
“Illuga, I’m fine,” Lohen proceeds to stand up.
Illuga’s not going to let him.
“Don’t move.”
The whole room stops at his tone. Even the senior nurses stare. Illuga doesn’t notice. His sole focus is on Lohen completely.
Lohen locks eyes with him. His bicolour eyes a little glassy from the hit. But he’s awake and alert.
For a moment, the chaos fades. It’s just them two.
Lohen sits up, not trying to stand again.
“I’m okay,” Lohen says under his breath, not louder than a whisper. His hand covers Illuga’s where it grips his shoulder, “I’m okay.”
“You’re not okay. You hit your head.”
“Lua——“
“Don’t Lua me.”
Someone behind them mutters, “Oh.”
Lohen stares at him for a second, softer now, “You’re freaking everyone else out.”
The door swings open and the buzz of the ER rushes back in. Illuga snaps his head up as someone pushes in a wheelchair.
“Get in,” Illuga orders.
“I don’t need a wheelchair.” Lohen protests when everyone shoves him in.
“Get in the fucking wheelchair.”
Lohen tries to reason with him, but he’s cut off.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“What happened here?” Varka asks as he walks in, eyes scanning the room.
“Family got agitated. He was shoved. Hit his head.” Jean says. Only then does Illuga realise she’s the one who brought the wheelchair.
“Okay, Jean, what’s open?”
“Room 5.”
“Good.”
He turns to Lohen, “Lohen, stop being stupid and sit still.”
Then he turns to Illuga, “Assess him. Stay with him so he doesn’t sneak back to surgery.”
Varka claps his hands, sharp in the quiet room.
“Alright everyone, show’s over!”
Illuga pushes Lohen’s wheelchair away.
Behind them, the talk has already started.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing!?” someone whispers.
“Back to work,” Jean’s voice cuts through the gossip.
Neither Illuga nor Lohen notice the gossip they started as they get in Room 5.
The door closes behind them. The room feels too quiet compare to the chaos they left behind.
Illuga locks the wheelchair in place beside the stretcher.
“I really am fine.” Lohen turns and looks at Illuga, trying to argue.
“Don’t even start.”
“It’s just a small fall.”
“You can get on the stretcher yourself, or I can call your attending down.” Illuga narrows his eyes.
“You’re overreacting.” Lohen says as he moves to sit on the edge of the stretcher.
“How are you feeling? Dizzy? Headache?” Illuga sits down on the rolling stool in the room.
Lohen sighs, “Both a little.”
“Any trouble seeing? Double vision?”
Lohen shakes his head, which proves to be a mistake because it makes him dizzier.
“Follow my finger.” Illuga moves it slowly across Lohen’s field of vision.
“You’re enjoying bossing me around, aren’t you?”
“Stop talking and follow my finger.” Illuga doesn’t rise to the bait.
Lohen’s eyes track his finger without drifting.
Illuga then shines a light into his eyes. His pupils react normally to the light.
“Lean forward.” Illuga checks the back of his head for swelling.
“Aye aye, Captain.” Lohen complies.
Someone knocks on the door. Varka walks in with an ice pack in hand.
“How’s he doing?” Varka asks, handing it to Illuga.
“No LOC*. Mild headache and dizziness. EOM* intact. Pupils equal and reactive. No visible swelling or bleeding.”
(*LOC: loss of consciousness; EOM: Extraocular muscles)
Illuga takes the ice pack and moves to Lohen’s side, pressing it against the back of his head. Lohen flinches because of the sudden cold.
“And still functioning.” Lohen adds helpfully.
Illuga doesn’t even spare him a look.
“Probably a concussion,” Illuga concludes, “But with the headache and the fall, we should get a head CT to rule out anything intracranial.”
“Agree.” Varka folds his arms, “Let’s be safe. I’ll give radiology a heads-up.”
Varka studies the two of them for a moment.
“Lohen, you’re clocking off after this. I already told your attending.”
“Illuga, get him home. Only one hour left of the shift anyway. I already called the evening shift in early.”
“But——“ Illuga and Lohen say at the same time.
Varka lifts a hand.
“Keep an eye on him for me,” he tells Illuga.
Then to Lohen, “Go home. You can’t be in the OR like this.”
The rest of the exam is uneventful. The CT comes back clean. Varka sends them home anyway.
Lohen hands Illuga the car key without being asked. No point starting a fight he’ll lose. Illuga starts the car.
The engine idles quietly.
The dashboard screen lights up, asking if they want to resume the music from this morning. A soft chime sounds.
Neither of them reaches for the console.
The prompt waits. Then it fades.
The car falls quiet again.
Lohen is the one who finally breaks the silence.
“Okay, it’s a concussion. It sucks, and it hurts.”
He leans his head carefully against the window, sandwiching the ice pack in place before turning toward Illuga completely.
“But I’m okay. So why are you still freaking out?”
“I’m not freaking out.” Illuga replies with his eyes fixed on the windshield.
“Lua.”
Illuga doesn’t answer.
“You are. That’s why Varka kicked you out.”
“We’re going home because you have a concussion.”
“Sure. I couldn’t possibly get home myself.”
Lohen waits a moment. When Illuga finally looks at him, he asks with the softness Illuga has now gotten used to over the past few months.
“What’s going on?”
Illuga doesn’t answer right away. His hands hold on the steering wheel, and then fall on his lap.
“I don’t know,” he whispers, “I’m just…angry.”
“At what?” Lohen frowns, gaze softened.
“At——“
Illuga stops.
At what?
At himself? At Lohen? At the guy who pushed him?
At everything? At nothing?
“…I don’t know.”
Maybe the fall. Maybe the guy who shoved him.
Or maybe it’s everything that comes with Lohen.
Something is changing.
The dog. The late dinners and early breakfasts. The unplanned stayovers after a hard shift. The way they keep showing up in each other’s lives when they don’t have to.
What are they now? Friends? Or something else?
Maybe that’s what makes him angry. Or not angry. Frustrated. Confused.
Because it used to be easy. Being around Lohen was always easy.
But somewhere along the way, he stopped disliking the softness in Lohen’s eyes.
Now he doesn’t know what to do with it. That’s probably the problem.
Illuga exhales slowly. This is so stupid.
He looks away, and starts the drive to Lohen’s place.