Archive of Our Own

Prologue

This is not how Beomgyu expected to be privy to a dead body for the first time.

Just an innocent, exhausted to death student out for his midnight run for stacking up on his stash of snacks to endure an entire night of gruelling project work, due the next day. 

Today, his day started off pretty great. He had only three hours of lessons, which he was glad about because now he could kick start the project that had been procrastinating on the pretext of 'I'm thinking of a phenomenal idea, it needs time to ruminate' (though Kai sniggers that at this point it's become a social experiment to see how little a time he can get his submissions done in). 

However, here he is, whistling the familiar tune of a song that has been stuck in head for days; (It's Alcohol Free by Twice but that's a piece of information no one needs to know, and how would they since it's almost an hour after midnight and while he can see multiple illuminated windows, some consecutively in a row, obviously indicating that he was not only one staying up through the night for certain rushed last minute assignments, there is an eerie silence.)

The serious contemplative fever about the future when there are scant hours to turn a submission in, has seemed to seize everyone in his apartment building. The sound of crickets humming in the background seems to be the only discernible noise. 

The elevator is out of order, his hands are full of cans of red bull, iced caffeine, a whole party pack of jellies, instant Ramen and also string cheese that he nibbles on while balancing the rest of the stuff. By the time he's reached the third landing, his iced coffee slips through his fingers, falls on the floor with a thump! rolls forward sleekly past multiple doors and he has to chase after it, string cheese hanging from his mouth as his teeth desperately dig into his to hold it from falling.

The can stops as it hits a body half slumped onto the floor and Beomgyu freezes on the spot. The body is so still that Beomgyu's heart starts to palpitate at a pace that cannot be healthy. It's slightly dark to make out the familiar rise and fall of the chest while breathing, so Beomgyu is not sure if the body is actually breathing. The legs and neck are twisted in a manner that can only be described as painful.

But, for a dead person, it would not be painful, his brain supplies unhelpfully. 

Fuck. 

Beomgyu has always considered himself brave. He watches horror movies alone like his life depends on it, he has no issues when the lights go off and its pitch black, enough to make the surroundings seem like an inky sea of darkness. He is never scared then. Loud noises don't scare him, practical jokes don't scare him, he is a pretty unfazed person in general. However, if he needs to check the pulse of the person slumped in front of him, he'd rather take a dip in icy cold water and slowly wait for his fate to be announced by hyperthermia . 

Sucking in a deep breath and ignoring the pounding in his ears, he gingerly approaches the slumped body, praying to a god he doesn't believe in. He stops a good one feet away and reaches his hand forward to grab the wrist and check the pulse of the person. 

A groan vibrates throughout the slumped body and Beomgyu immediately releases his hold on the cold wrist before he can determine the final living or dead verdict. He doesn't have to anymore. The person slowly adjusts their head, wincing in pain, eyes squeezed shut with the effort. As soon as they open their eyes, they land on Beomgyu, as wide as saucers. The person jerks themselves to an upright position, screeching. 

"Aaahhhhhh" 

"Aaaaaahhhhh" 

Beomgyu doesn't know why he screams back. It just felt like the right thing to do. 

"Get away from me, you creep. What were you trying to do? I'm gonna call the cops on you, you perv."

"Hey, hey Calm the fuck down. You've got the wrong idea. You were just lying he-here without moving and I just wanted to check if -" Now it seems silly to say it out loud. 

"If?" the guy prods with his eyebrows raised. His eyes are large. Not just big, but large as in holy fuck how can those be your eyes kind of large. The rest of his features dissipate into the darkness, so it's hard to clearly make out anything else. However, his hair demand attention; they're silver sprinkled with a tad bit of black. On second thought, it could very well be the white streetlight blending in to play tricks on his eyes. 

"If you were dead or something." Beomgyu mumbles, abashed. 

He hears a snort, "Dramatic much? I'm clearly not dead."

"Yeah...I see that now." 

"I'm actually locked outside my room. Was tired and fell asleep. I-" The guy pulls his phone out of his pocket, squinting at the bright light and desperately moves his fingers along the keypad. Beomgyu takes a place in front of him, slumping on the floor cross-legged. The guy let's out a mild fuck, "I think I'm going to have to spend the night here. My roommate isn't coming back for the night and apparently, he’s changed the passcode without telling me. Now he isn’t replying.”

It's not exactly a cry for help. In fact, the way the guy mentions his predicament in a matter-of-fact manner, Beomgyu thinks that he actually had no reservations in sleeping like this. On the cold, hard  filthy floor probably stinking too. 

"What a shit roommate." Beomgyu mumbles.

"Actually better than all the ones I've had before."

"You're weirdly calm about this" the words slip from his tongue before he realizes. The guy looks at him with a deadpan expression, "What are you talking about? I'm freaking out." 

"Doesn't look like it"

"What do you want me to do? Cry?" 

"I don't know, look sadder or something" 

That's a pretty good glare that the guy throws his way. But Beomgyu is friends with Yeonjun who retaliates to his every ounce of bullshit with threats he actually follows through with. So he isn’t perturbed by the stranger.

"Are you new? I've never seen you around here before." 

"Shifted in a week ago from the other block. Now those are the real nightmare." Beomgyu knew abut the old student apartment blocks, he had lived there for the first couple of months and then finally shifted to the new ones.  

Beomgyu climbs back to his feet, while the guy busies himself on his phone, back against the wall, still looking unfazed. "So, you weren't kidding when you said you'd stay here the entire night?" 

"What other choice do I have?" 

"Dude, don't you have any friends.?" Beomgyu checks the time on his phone. He really needs to get going if he's going to get any work done.

"Umm…well a couple who live on campus, which is like twenty minutes on foot. And how do I get there? Plus, I don't want to disturb anyone this late." 

Beomgyu relinquishes."Get up. I'm taking you, my apartment." 

The guy squints suspiciously at him, "How do I know you're not some weird creep who's gonna feel me up while I sleep?" 

"Well" Beomgyu feels prickly all over with annoyance, "Guess you'll have to either take that risk or spend the night here on the floor; against that wall. Going to do a number on your neck, by the way. And I'm sure there must be dried booger or definitely gum stuck on the walls at least some time in the past few hours. But it's your choice." 

The guy immediately clambers onto his feet stepping away from the wall. Beomgyu grabs his can of iced coffee, not so much iced anymore, and without sparing the guy another glance walks away huffing in annoyance. 

"Fine, fine! I'll accept. Hey! Wait for me." 

The guy walks close on his heels, as they climb the fourth and then land on the fifth floor, the first couple of minutes in silence, then, "I'm Taehyun by the way. And you are-?" 

"Choi Beomgyu. Dance major; minor in music." 

"Cool."

"Cool."

He expects Taehyun to introduce himself but all he does is wait impatiently as he struggles against the lock, "What happened to your keypad?"

"It stopped working a while ago."

"Aren't you gonna do anything about that?"

So, the thing is this: Beomgyu loves meeting new people, making friends, engaging in random conversations, but its ass o'clock at night, a major chunk of his project is still left unfinished and Taehyun's tone is unnerving. So, he chooses to ignore him. They might have been making do with physical keys at the moment(Yeonjun has labeled him and Kai peasants) and the key's slightly bent out of shape for its old and looks like it had been in use for decades, and it always takes at least three tries to jerk the lock open. 

The tapping of the guy's foot is annoying.

"Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?"

"Your foot. Stop tapping it. It's distracting." 

"You're unlocking a door. It's not exactly rocket science. Here, let me do it."

"No, I got it."  

"Let me-" 

"I said" he huffs, shoving the door open with a jerk, "I got it, thanks." 

Beomgyu enters and switches the lights on, footsteps behind him confirming that Taehyun has followed him. He whips around to look at Taehyun under the lights and he was right. Taehyun's hair is silver; it compliments his tan skin, a tad bit too much. Large nose, full lips; his features are striking. But there is nothing in his expression, or even if there is, Beomgyu cannot make out- caution, gratitude, curiosity, nothing. 

“So, am I taking the couch?” Taehyun asks, scanning his living room and leaning his head to peer inside his room, “Or- clearly you’ve got work to do, maybe I could take your bed?” He suggests nonchalantly. 

“A minute ago, you thought I was a perv and now you want to sleep in my room?”

"Had to try." Taehyun shrugs.

Beomgyu starts clearing the couch and the table and gestures towards Taehyun, “make yourself comfortable here.” Taehyun props himself on the couch, “had to ask. Can I get a pillow and a bed sheet?”. He sounds like a demand and gets on Beomgyu's nerves.

After Taehyun has settled, he watches him toss and turn trying to find a comfortable position, and almost feels sorry for him; he knows how stiff and uncomfortable the couch is. 

“You’re staring. I can’t fall asleep like this. And man, this couch sucks.”

“Talk about no gratitude.” Beomgyu counters. He’s rude. And thank less, maybe Beomgyu should have left him on the cold dirty floor instead of being a good Samaritan. He sighs. Sometimes he’s too good of a person. Taehyun hums, snapping his eyes shut, “I’ll return the favour.” Looks like he found his position on the couch. Body turned sideways towards the cushion and his arms folded under his head on the pillow. 

“If my roommate wakes up in the middle of the night, you’re explaining this situation to him” Beomgyu calls out to the cocooned body, making his way to his own room and slamming it shut. He barely gets a few hours of sleep, having finished the paper and submitted it at 3 a.m, so the loud laughter from the shared living space to which he wakes up the next morning is wholly and completely unwelcome. Clearly, Kai has discovered the sleeping stranger in their house. 

He lies in bed for a few moments trying to get those 10 minutes on the clock, the ones which are the fake consolation of just a little bit more to sleep before he has to get up and go about his day. But the constant noises don’t allow him that pleasure. When he makes his way to desperately get his morning coffee, he is met by an unusual sight. Kai and Taehyun are chatting away like best friends.

“Hyung! Taehyun’s in my year!” Kai looks at him enthusiastically, “He’s also minoring in music like you.” No, he didn’t. Taehyun told him nothing about himself. He glances at Taehyun who is all smiles, his expression endeared, as is anyone’s who’s met Hueningkai. 

“That’s great, Kai, but like can you freaking keep it down.” He throws a dirty look towards Taehyun as well. Just in case. “Don’t worry about him, Tyun.” Tyun? “He’s always grouchy in the morning. You’ll get used to it. “Hyung, be nice.”

“I’m nice.That’s why he’s here.” 

“And I owe you for it.” Taehyun has the audacity to roll his eyes at him. He feels attacked; He didn’t ask for it. It’s too early in the morning for this stranger’s sass. Wordlessly, he saunters into the kitchen, grabs his coffee, and shuts himself up in his room to drown out the noises.

Get used to it? As in having to see Taehyun in the future and keep seeing him? Hence, of course somehow, he knows that this isn’t going to be the last he sees of Kang Taehyun. 

And he’s right. More often than not, now when he comes back to his apartment, Taehyun is just about always there. In an unprecedented turn of events, (except that it isn’t, he saw it coming from a mile away) he and Hueningkai have become quite close. That could have been a given because Hueningkai is the most amicable person one could ever meet. And no one could resist being his friend. But Kai is shy and the fact that Taehyun really became so close to him in a matter of days, really is nothing short of remarkable. 

When Beomgyu first met Kai, it took him almost a month to coax him into having a real conversation with him. That happened after he broke Kai's favourite coffee mug by mistake, and was running late that morning, so he couldn’t even inform him. Kai had to wake up to the sad fragmented mess of the remains that Beomgyu had carefully collected and set aside on the kitchen counter in a hurry. The mug was a gift from his little sister and had his favourite Molang printed sketch. Beomgyu was profusely apologetic, and Kai was not angry in the least. All Beomgyu got was mild it’s okay, but Beomgyu, who’s always been perceptive, by that point, was starting to comprehend Kai’s moods by his expressions and his face painted a different picture. He seemed crushed. 

Maybe it was just a mug, and probably only a profuse apology or peace offering from Beomgyu’s side would have been sufficient, but somehow, they got talking the entire night and by the next morning, Kai was less of a stranger than in the entire month he had known him. And then after that, being privy to Kai's real personality, he finally arrived at the conclusion that Kai was the positively the loudest, chirpiest, brightest (and the most annoying person) he’s ever known. 

And now Taehyun and Kai seem to have glued to each other, guffawing away over something they’re watching, or sharing songs, or just working on their individuals projects (but together) and Kai would sometimes, (actually all the time because Kai cannot stop gushing about Taehyun) ask Beomgyu to join but then again..

...with Taehyun, all his conversations would turn into bickering matches and Taehyun is quite eloquent and Beomgyu, well....,isn't, and hence, is never happy about it. So, he’d rather shut up than splutter and have Taehyun’s smug expression see the light of day.

The truth is that Taehyun is good at everything. Impressive grades, a gym rat, incredibly smart, he even does magic- yeah of course, he does; and he’s not bad at all. Last time Taehyun performed with playing cards in their living room, he was sure Kai and Yeonjun would have started hyperventilating with sheer excitement. And Soobin looked at him like a proud dad. They barely even knew him. In short, it seems like somehow, it’s not only Hueningkai, but also Soobin and Yeonjun as well who seem to have been enamoured by Kang Taehyun is seemingly as perfect as someone can get and he’s here to stay. 

Turns out Yeonjun with his wide, wide circuit of friends actually already was an acquaintance of Taehyun’s. A friend of a friend. A piece of information that makes needles prick Beomgyu’s skin. However, Beomgyu believes that he knows Taehyun’s true colors. And to him, Taehyun is annoying. He is obnoxious, thinks he's better than everybody and loves hogging attention. Plus, despite Beomgyu being the one who helped Taehyun , he seems to have it out for him. (Kai says it's the other way around but Beomgyu is sure Taehyun loves to get on nerves every chance he gets.) 

If Beomgyu really thinks about it (which he doesn't), the only explanation to Taehyun’s behaviour could be that he doesn’t like Beomgyu. Which is absolutely fucking fine. You can’t be liked by everyone anyway. And he’s liked by a whole bunch of people. People who’ve just met him also like him. He’s very likeable. He’s actually extremely likeable. And if Kang Taehyun doesn’t like him, he’s fine with it. It’s all good. not that he likes Taehyun anyway. 

Also if he hadn’t found Taehyun, or rather hadn’t offered him help the night he saw him, there would not have been his whole perfectly chiseled, wide eyed, 5 foot 11 inches muscled presence in his everyday life. And he never ceases to remind Taehyun that. 

"I discovered you." 

"You discovered me? What even-"

"Here we go again."

Soobin's here? Sometimes despite his shocking blue hair and well over six feet towering height, his eerie silence makes it hard to spot his presence until he decides to be a wisecrack and reveal that he was there all along. His comment advances like a jump scare, which is quite an irony since he's the one who's the most susceptible to them. Taehyun and Beomgyu squeal in surprise. 

"Soobin Hyung! Fuck, you scared me" Taehyun recoils in surprise, his hand clutching his chest tight, "How long have you been here?". Soobin opens his mouth but apparently it was a rhetorical question, because Taehyun's already ignoring him , his attention back on Beomgyu.

"I said what I said". Beomgyu replies smugly.

Taehyun rolls his eyes. "You found me, Beomgyu, between a rock and a hard place and  like any decent human being, gave me a way out of my circumstance. You didn't determine my existence.”

"First of all, you brat, it's Beomgyu Hyung." Beomgyu grits his teeth. See, this kid doesn't even have any manners. Taehyun dismisses it with a casual wave of his hand. 

"All the friends you have present in this room are my friends. And it’s because of me that you’re sitting here and claiming your space with us." Beomgyu tells him childishly.

"Wow, Beomgyu Hyung, do I give you an award for that? Is that what you want? “

Beomgyu clears his throat, “You can show me some respect to start with. Some gratitude even.” 

“I told you, I owe you. And you’re the one who literally starts every argument-“

Beomgyu perks up, raising a finger, “But no, you’re wrong Kang Taehyun,” he says triumphantly, “last week, you were the one who attacked me when I was wearing my new tinted shades-“

Taehyun bursts out laughing, “Attack? Dramatic much? And your shades, they’re turquoise. And ugly. You looked ridiculous! Kai, didn’t he look ridiculous?”

“You looked ridiculous, Hyung,” Kai agrees solemnly, nodding along with Taehyun.

“You’re supposed to be on my side, Kai!”

“Um...no? I’m on the side of the truth, Hyung and the truth is you looked hilarious." Kai.Soobin snorts. Shy and reserved Kai was way better, honestly.

Beomgyu squints at Taehyun, flushed, “What would you know about style? You don’t seem to own anything except those- those goddamn sweater vests. Newsflash, they don’t look as good as you think they do.”

“I think it’s a cool aesthetic. And Yeonjun would agree with me.”

Yeonjun was a huge fashion enthusiast and though a self proclaimed style genius (his own words), it couldn't be argued. However, this piece of information wasn't going to help Beomgyu's case hence,

“You're the last person to talk about style, Soobin hyung.” Beomgyu shoots at Soobin who rolls his eyes at Beomgyu's antics, lets out an exasperated sigh and goes back to being an ominous presence. Beomgyu rakes a hand through his hair, glaring at Taehyun. Great. He's got everyone enamoured, wrapped around his pinkie. Taehyun throws a self-satisfied smirk his way. 

“You” he points a finger at Taehyun, trying to come up with something snarky but failing, “I’m not engaging with you anymore.''

“Fine. You started it anyway.” Taehyun continuous to watch him, palms flat against the ground as he leans on his hands. He brings up a hand and brushes his bangs away, slowly, almost deliberately, eyes closed, head whipped slightly back. Beomgyu’s not actually looking, Taehyun’s just in his line of vision. Taehyun catches his eye, and Beomgyu pretends to huff in annoyance when caught. “It’s okay, Beomgyu Hyung, you can look. I know I’m pretty.” 

Beomgyu lets out a strangled scoff; it’s an odd embarrassing sound, “In your dreams' ' he manages to splutter. He’s unable to figure out Kang Taehyun. He feels like a deer in the wild, when Taehyun just about looks at him, his large, cold, emotionless eyes ( okay maybe he’s being a little dramatic) he has to mentally prepare himself too. He’ll never go down without a fight, especially against Kang Taehyun. 

"Is he going to always be here? Why are you here Kang Taehyun? Don't you have things to do?"

“I am doing a thing here, Beomgyu, thank you.”

“In my house.”

“It’s Kai’s house too. Why do you have to be such a prick, Beomgyu?” 

“Why do you have to be you, Taehyun? And it's Hyung for you.”

“You guys are such children.”  

“And just how many plushies do you own, Kai Kamal Huening?”

Quite a lot, actually. Beomgyu plots murder of one of Kai’s beloved plushies and silently lists which one it’s going to be. There is going to be some real fluff shed right here in the apartment  tonight. For the time being, he grabs his bag off the couch to get to the dance studio. 

“Where are you off to?” Soobin asks, tapping away on his phone, furrowing his brows at the screen and sounding like he's sulking. 

“Yeonjun Hyung said he’d let me use the studio once he was done. We’re doing individual practice starting today.”

“For?” It’s Taehyun. His large doe eyes look up curiously at Beomgyu. Classic Taehyun. Butting into everything. “For their showcase.” Kai answers for him, “Lot of important people from the industry are in the audience, there’s an opportunity to get recruited by a company even. It’s exciting. We’re all rooting for Yeonjun Hyung, and of course Beomgyu Hyung but it’s Yeonjun Hyung’s final year. So.” 

Taehyun’s mouth hangs open, as he takes in the information, something Beomgyu has often seen him do. Sometimes he’d also just phase out for a second and stare into mid-air looking at nothing at all. Then he’d catch Beomgyu’s eye and talk shit about how Beomgyu always stares at him. He doesn’t. Beomgyu tells him it’s called glaring and they go off from there. 

Right now, however, there's something heavy that drops in Beomgyu’s stomach. Between the hordes of assignments to submit and actively keeping up with Taehyun’s addition in his life, (that has taken up a considerable amount of energy, ahem) the showcase had taken a backseat in his head. But practice is beginning full throttle again, his heart is in his mouth. 

“You, okay? You don’t look so good, Gyu.” Soobin’s voice breaks into his thoughts. From the corner of his eye, he can see Taehyun staring at him. All his claims of 'I’m here for a thing' seem to be catching dust. And he’s suddenly not even in the mood for calling him out. He shrugs the feeling off, “I’m fine. I’ll see you guys.” 

When Beomgyu enters the studio, Yeonjun is packing up hurriedly, practically throwing everything into his backup and unsuccessfully trying to close it but failing a whole 2 times. 

"Someone's in a hurry." Beomgyu chimes.

"I forgot about my date with Soobin!" Yeonjun cries, desperately. " He texted me a million  times but I only checked now. He's going to be so pissed. I have to run, hopefully we can still make it." 

The wonderful thing about Soobin is that he is always the least bothered person in the room, his patience is beyond compare; his temperament is that of a silent sea. But even though Soobin couldn't care if the sky was falling- there was one thing he had no patience for- he absolutely despised when Yeonjun was late for their dates. That also explains why he was sulking back in his house. 

"My poor baby." Yeonjun mumbles, pouts and Beomgyu wants to puke. 

"Don't be gross, hyung." 

"And I didn't even see him the whole day. Was he sulking ? Did he look mad?"

Beomgyu rolled his eyes, "Can he ever stay mad at you?" .

It was absolutely true, much as Beomgyu would hate to admit how in love both his hyungs were. Yeonjun actually prided himself in the fact that he was the only one who could get Soobin annoyed, because it meant that he was someone Soobin cared about a lot. And also gloated about the fact that Soobin could never stay mad at him for long. 

Yeonjun winks at him, but hurries off nonetheless, but not without calling back to him, before stepping out of the studio, “No staying the night and destroying your sleep-“

“But you don’t understand-“

“No. And I mean that. Don’t think I cannot make your life especially difficult, Choi Beomgyu.” And he leaves, before Beomgyu can retort again.

For a while, Beomgyu conveniently manages to escape Taehyun. Not that he is actively trying; it is just a happy result of the schedule that he has been having these days. For the most part, he is either training in the dance studio or in his room finishing up on his assignments, or inhaling his meals at lightning speed in the cafeteria. If Yeonjun and the others are concerned, they don't really bring it up. 

Yeonjun believes he knows Beomgyu inside out. Since the beginning, Yeonjun had always been amazing in Beomgyu’s eyes. He was starry eyed around him. When he was a freshman and met Yeonjun incidentally in their common practice studio, he felt like he met a star. Yeonjun had a reputation on campus; and for the first few months he hung out with the older boy, there was a floaty sense of vanity; a vicarious feeling of self-importance until one day that image broke; and like shards of glass carefully assembled together with glaring tracks of super-glue, the image his mind reflected of Yeonjun changed. One day he had found Yeonjun sobbing uncontrollably in the studio, all by himself. Snivelling away in a corner, red faced and snotty nose. That day Beomgyu came to the realization that the most promising dancer he knew was just another 20-year-old, exhausted of expectations, teary eyes over his falling grades (albeit they were only a couple of subjects and a grade only a C, Beomgyu could have rolled his eyes at him, had he not been that miserable), dealing with his constant need for being perfect and beating himself over it. 

He realized then that maybe that was scary too; having it all is actually not what it is; there is a cost of everything. Recalling it seems dramatic; because their friendship didn't evolve because of that one day, but it made him show his sides too, the ones he was afraid of showing. Then he met Soobin through Yeonjun. 

According to Yeonjun, Soobin was this absolutely ethereal boy he once saw at a party and then never again.But what Yeonjun wants, he always gets. He went on a wild goose chase to find Soobin again and the fact that he knew a lot of people helped in discovering who this boy was. Beomgyu, being one of Yeonjun's closest friends by then, of course had gotten annoyingly dragged into the entire thing. Soobin was Yeonjun's polar opposite.  But not in a being-at-each-other's-throat kind of opposite, but we-compliment-each-other-so-well kind of opposites. Yeonjun was, as he claimed quite accurately, a whirlwind when compared to the calm ocean that was Soobin. Yeonjun was fervent, irrepressible; everything he did, he did it like it would be the last time. And then sometimes when all that would be left of the flame was a flicker and his winds would descend down to a breeze, Soobin would be there like a cushion on his hardest days. And at times Yeonjun was so good at sweeping and Soobin would get easily swept away. They fit together well. 

And when Soobin met Hueningkai, he sort of just adopted him as a little brother along with Beomgyu.

It’s a couple of weeks in with this erratic schedule, when he stays at the studio until late. Today, however, he would have stayed until later had Yeonjun not threatened to snap the doors shut from outside and lock him in till it was time class next morning if he continued to be stubborn. Damn him for being the captain of the dance team. Damn him for being bossy, insufferable - ‘who cares for you, you annoying fucktard. You push yourself further, you’ll end up in the infirmary’- friend ever. 

Since the showcase was approaching, Beomgyu wanted to squeeze in as much practice as he possibly could. His solo piece was almost ready, and for the first time he had choreographed a major part of the dance himself. He was going to have a preliminary review the following week, hence the obsession. But truthfully if he was getting antsy and restless to an extent that Yeonjun had to be the one to drag him away clawing and crying from the studio, it was not good news. Finally, it was Kai who flung him on his shoulder, carried him out and plopped him forcefully on the ground as he howled and cursed while Soobin laughed at him. He grumbles the entire time, as they make their way to the campus store for some snacks. He only stops grumbling once they enter and he spots a familiar figure.

“Well, it just seems like there’s no escape from you, right?” Beomgyu blurts out, upon seeing the boy.Yeonjun grouses from behind him, as the other three make their way into store, “Would you knock it off, Gyu? Of course he’d be here. He works here. Hey, Hyun!”

“Hi Hyung!”

Kang Taehyun as days go by, seem to have become a part of the group. Obnoxious Kang Taehyun. Perfect kang Taehyun. What do they see in him anyway? Why has he been able to become so close to the set of people that Beomgyu considers family, and yet, always at loggerheads with him?

Taehyun sits behind the billing counter, swirling in his chair, making a game of it. Does he look bored? Or maybe that’s just his default expression. Beomgyu can’t tell. Taehyun jerks to a sudden stop as they enter. He waves at Soobin, Kai and Yeonjun, and they make their way into the aisles. Then he stares at Beomgyu for a few seconds and goes back to swirling his chair, his mouth in a small smirk. As he turns to follow the others into the snack aisle, He hears Taehyun speak.

"You better get used to me Hyung. I'm going to be here for a long time." It seems like a threat, but Taehyun flashes the sweetest smile at him. 

"You're pretty annoying, you know that?"

Taehyun looks at him with the same sweet smile growing, "Since you've set the bar so high, pretty sure not as much as you, hyung." 

“What took you that long to think of a retort?” he snorts, incredibly unnerved. 

“Not a retort. Just the truth, wanted to lay it on nice and slow.” He locks eyes with Beomgyu. Beomgyu wants the evidence to support his claim. There’s again that unidentifiable feeling that crawls under Beomgyu’s skin and he wants to wipe that smirk off Taehyun's face. “I’ve never seen you here before.” He accuses Taehyun.

“I started the graveyard shift a few days back.” Taehyun retorts, unfazed.

Just then, a girl makes her way to the counter and Taehyun's face transforms into a small polite smile, as he greets her with familiarity. Beomgyu decides to slink away behind an aisle, but keeps an ear on their conversation. She seems to be talking about a new diet routine, maybe she’s a gym buddy? She expresses concern over nutrient intake and that leads Taehyun on a full-fledged monologue that to Beomgyu sounds like jargon, but the girl seems to be eating it all up.

Beomgyu scoffs to himself, What a showoff. It’s quite evident that she’s there for reasons other than to discuss her regular intake of carbs, but the way Taehyun goes on with quite the display of his oratory skills, despite her making googly eyes at him, either he is completely used to have people flirting with him or just plain oblivious. Not that Beomgyu cares.Taehyun is clearly passionate about all that he talks. He could be wrong though. Maybe Taehyun doesn’t like to engage with everyone.

When the girl leaves, he swears he can see Taehyun’s expression fall back into something akin to relief. It’s hard to tell, but if Beomgyu had to make a guess by the deep sigh that leaves Taehyun's mouth, he could be right. He realizes that the entire time he was so focused on Taehyun, he hasn’t picked put one thing the entire time he’s there.

“Hyung!” Beomgyu flinches and frowns at Hueningkai who’s making his way to the counter. “What have you been doing? Have you been standing at the same place all this time?” Kai follows Beomgyu’s line of vision as he quickly averts his eyes and focuses on the shelves in front of him.  

A smirk makes his way on his face, and Beomgyu braces himself for what’s about to come.

“Interesting” Hueningkai concludes, from the corner of his eyes he sees Kai look back and forth between him and Taehyun, tapping his chin with his index finger, the shit-eating grin intact on his face. “So, I’ve thought about this and I've decided I approve. it’s okay, Hyung. It can be our little secret.”

“What secret?” Beomgyu's stomach churns unpleasantly, “What are you talking about?” 

“Hyung. I got you.” Kai winks at him, “Frankly, I should have known you like him. It explains everything-“

“Like who?” Beomgyu hisses at him, “I don’t know what you are talking about!” Well, he’s kind of catching up.

“Taehyun, of course.”

It’s the joke of the century. Absolutely laughable. Just thinking about Taehyun yapping away in his ear all day long, smug and insufferable, eyes all scrunched up and crescent moon, baring his perfect set of wild teeth underneath pink plump lips. Yeah…absolutely not. 

“You’ve lost it. I don’t like him.!” He whispers.

“Why are you whispering?” 

“Because Taehyun’s right there!”

“Right, right…and we don’t want him to know-“

“There’s nothing to know!” 

“Wow, Hyung. Chill out. There’s no need to get all worked up over a little crush. Or huge, whatever it is-“. Beomgyu punches his shoulder hard but of course, Hueningkai who is built like a rock, just ends up barking with laughter as he moves towards the billing counter.

Taehyun looks at him with a smile on his face, "Do I wanna know?" he asks, scanning the stuff in the basket. 

"Hmm....wouldn't you wanna know- Ow Hyung. Stop it" Beomgyu punches him yet again. 

"He's being a menace, that's all." Beomgyu says, giving Kai the evil eye. 

"Aren't you getting anything?" Taehyun asks Beomgyu, looking at his empty hands.Kai's grin only grows larger.

"Well, you see he was busy staring at-" This time Beomgyu stomps on Kai's foot. He yelps loudly.  

"Taehyun, being my best friend, I think you should protect me from this monstrous display of force." After spending so much time together, Kai is now beginning to sound likeTaehyun. Taehyun giggles. Actually giggles. Sweetly, that too. It catches Beomgyu off guard, who glances for a moment at Taehyun. He catches Taehyun's eye and they avert their gazes almost immediately.

"I'd rather pick fights with people my own size, Kai." Taehyun's expression goes back the same smug one as he smirks at Beomgyu, "No offence, Hyung." He clearly meant offence.

"We're the same height." Beomgyu huffs annoyed, “In fact I think I'm a few centimeters taller." 

"Perhaps, but Taehyun's quite ripped, hyung." Kai nods understandingly.

"It's true, I can break you in half if I wanted to." Taehyun joins in with Kai. Beomgyu's had enough, the prospect of Taehyun tackling him is not pretty. It’s all Hueningkai’s fault for bringing up this ridiculous idea. Fuck. Now he cannot stop thinking about it. Beomgyu distracts himself to go back and eye the food isle while Soobin gets his stuff billed, the while laughing at something with Taehyun.

When they’ve left the store, Yeonjun and Soobin walk behind him and Kai, huddled together and giggling over something that has become almost like second nature that he and Kai don’t have to bat a single eyelid. Kai jogs up next to him, and drapes an arm around his shoulder. 

“Don’t be upset, hyung. I didn’t mean to piss you off like that.”

Ah, sweet Hueningkai. Under his impish behaviour, is a heart of gold. 

“I’m not.”

“You know, Taehyun's not all that bad as you make him out to be.”

“As you’ve said before.”

“You should give him a chance.”

“As you’ve said before as well.”

“We were just having some fun with you, that’s all.” Hueningkai sounds apologetic and Beomgyu feels like a jerk. 

“He doesn’t like me, you know-“ Beomgyu hurriedly continues before Kai can start the false ‘crush’ allegations, “No in a romantic way. In a general way. As a person. You will have to stop trying to force us together. I don’t think we could be friends.” 

“Nonsense, Hyung.” Kai replies, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “you are more similar than you think. And while I know you think Taehyun’s out to get you, I can assure you,” HueningKai pinches his fingers together and squeezes his eyes shut to make a firm point,”assure you, he likes you. In a general way at least.” He winks in Beomgyu and Beomgyu cannot help but roll his eyes. “Plus, I cannot have all my favourite people not get along with each other.” 

“Not everything is about you.”

“Oh, but it is.” Hueningkai cackles at him. 

Before he can say anything else, or frankly begin to resist the urge to smack the back of Hueningkai’s head, a voice startles him.

“Beomgyu hyung!” 

Beomgyu jerks his head around towards the direction of the voice. It’s Taehyun, panting slightly, apparently having run behind them. Beomgyu EarPods are in his hands. He never goes anywhere without them. 

“You forgot these inside.” Beomgyu is so taken aback that he is transfixed for a second. Hueningkai nudges him and he automatically extends his hand, palm up for Taehyun to drop it. 

“I-uh-thanks.”

“Of course.” 

Hueningkai looks at Beomgyu pointedly, waves Taehyun goodbye who seems to be in a rush and practically bounces back to the unattended store. Yeonjun breaks his streak of giggling for a second and turns back to taehyun’s retreating back with furrowed brows, “Was that Taehyun?” He enquires rhetorically, while Beomgyu just stares at the EarPods in his hands. 

***

It's not that he wants to pick arguments  with Taehyun. It comes so naturally that Beomgyu doesn’t even realize when they’re in the middle of it. Like this one  time when he is roped into a game of scrabbles with the younger two, and ends up arguing about the eligibility of a certain word. Kai would concede to Taehyun, and Beomgyu knows that Taehyun must be right. But there’s just something about him, that he just cannot stand.

Beomgyu challenges him, not knowing what the hell he is talking about now, "You always have to be such a know it all. You're…you’re….. one of those people who read the ingredients off the packaging of products. Probably go online and research about it. Try to know everything about everything." Beomgyu waves his hand in an exaggerated gesture, " Then you act like a walking encyclopedia; show everyone how smart you are." Beomgyu pauses, "You're a nerd. And a pretty stuck up one at that."

"That's mean, Beomgyu hyung!"Kai intervenes. 

"No, it's okay Kai." Taehyun seems unfazed and his face morphs into something akin to a pleased expression. He holds Beomgyu's gaze as he speaks, "What must it feel like, Beomgyu, when you enter a Library? Is it like entering a war zone? Are you against intelligence? How must it feel to lose every time? I wonder." 

That’s a low blow.

"Joke's on you because I don't even visit the library that often! And it's Beomgyu Hyung, you brat!" Kai gives him a pitiful look, like he's mourning the words that have come out of Beomgyu's mouth; he admits, it's not the best comeback. Actually, he couldn't have had a worse comeback. Taehyun has a triumphant look on his face, and he goes back to looking at his own letters. There isn’t another argument as such again, but somehow he feels that Taehyun has discreet eyes on him, but as soon as he looks at him, he wonders if it’s all in his head because the other boy seems to be too involved in the game at any given time. 

But sometimes, just sometimes, maybe it's the fault of his friends that he might believe that Taehyun might not be all that annoying.

"Enough! Kang Taehyun, this is cheating. I can't believe you all give so much leeway to him. Yeonjun Hyung, he cannot keep drinking; he has to choose a truth or a dare! He glares at Taehyun who has a smug look on his face, "I've got my eyes on you Kang, you're not getting away this easily." 

"Unfortunately, you have to Taehyun." Soobin huffs from the couch. He's awkwardly perched on it, with ass half dangling in the air as he tries to wrestle the bag of dry seaweed from Yeonjun's hands. It's a battle of wills. Momentarily, the two lanky boys, drunk and loose-limbed squabbling over a petty snack is too entertaining to ignore. So, Beomgyu is by Yeonjun's side in a second egging him on. 

Kai, surrounded by his plushies and half-drunk watches with wide eyes and frown; it's uncertain whether he's wondering about the fate of his friends or the packet of seaweed or the stuffed dolphin in his lap whose eyes he's shielding with his palms. 

"Aren't they supposed to be in love or something? They're fighting over seaweed?" Taehyun asks, his bottle of beer dangling in his hand mid-air.

"It's their love language." Kai says with an aura of an all knowing saint.

"Fighting over food?"

"Ticking each other off. Competing with each other. You can ignore them, in a minute they'll be so sappy that it'll be worse to watch." Kai eyes Taehyun, almost challenging "Hyung is right, you need to do something more than drink."

"Fine. Dare." 

Beomgyu's light-headed, and he hadn't even had so much to drink yet. 

Beomgyu grins victoriously; he has a good one. he rushes to the bathroom, ignoring the curious glances thrown his way and emerges with a bottle of shampoo, "Go to the corridor; Whoever is the first person to enter the building, pour it on their head and scream Take a bath, loser, you stink." 

"That's juvenile! I'm not going to do that!" 

"Fine. Do some aegyo for us then." Kai chortles, sleepily, the alcohol taking over him  and Taehyun sends a death glare towards him while Beomgyu imagines Taehyun acting all cute and lovely, the idea not unappealing. He must be really drunk. "I'm not doing either. It's ridiculous. I choose Truth." 

“You’re so wound up-.”

"You're such a child, Beomgyu-"

"Beomgyu hyung" Beomgyu corrects him, irked. And so Taehyun gives up and does a half-hearted, meek rendition of the Baby shark song, but nobody except Beomgyu is sober enough to give him grief about it. Taehyun helplessly glances at the other three, desperately in search of intervention; Kai is now half-drunkenly giggling semi-asleep. And Soobin and Yeonjun, true to what Kai had said, were now staring at each other with googly eyes and this was the last thing Beomgyu had wanted to see. Beomgyu looks at Taehyun, who shares his desperation of being as far away from his friends' display of affection, maybe the first thing common in months they’ve known each other. So Beomgyu does something absolutely unexpected. He invites Taehyun on the terrace with him, to escape. 

They make themselves comfortable on a concrete floor. The sky is dark and laden with stars, and Beomgyu can’t help but stare at the sky. They sit in silence for many minutes and Beomgyu is surprised that it isn’t awkward.   

“Have you ever been up here?” Beomgyu asks him, suddenly curious. 

“No, I’ve been meaning to since I moved but I couldn’t find the time to.”Taehyun replies, “Do you come up often?”

“Yeah, the height’s really great to prank people from up here. I keep water balloons ready on some nights when I feel like it.”

Taehyun looks at him with eyes so comically large that he cannot help but burst into laughter,”I’m kidding. I’m just kidding, I don’t really do that.”

“Hmm….why is it easier to believe that you do?” Taehyun says, though he is smiling now too. He has a really nice smile, Beomgyu observes. Not that he didn’t know it, but it's somehow different when it's genuine and directed towards him, rather than Kai or Yeonjun or Soobin. 

“You just think of me as an unserious troublemaker.” he says, but with no bite in his words.

“No. I think you’re…..fun. In a way it's hard for me to be. And carefree.”, Taehyun pauses, rethinking what he just said, “But not in a bad way, in a way that you know what to be carefree about and what, not.” His answer surprises Beomgyu, who was somehow just convinced that Taehyun had nothing good to say about him. He wants to say something nice about Taehyun too, but nothing immediately comes to mind. He sits there, feeling slightly guilty. Taehyun observed him more than he could give him credit for and though he knows Taehyun must have good qualities  about him(his friends like him a lot, after all), he never bothered to pay attention to them. So, he doesn't say anything, and they sit longer in comfortable silence, well a little uncomfortable now since Beomgyu couldn’t find anything to compliment Taehyun back. 

“You don’t have anything to say about constellations?” Beomgyu suddenly speaks up, twisting his head to look at Taehyun. Taehyun in turn looks at him confused. 

“I mean…” Beomgyu tries to elaborate, “You seem to know a lot.” he said, hoping he didn’t come off as mocking, which he genuinely wasn’t. 

Taehyun laughs, and Beomgyu swears, he can see sparkles in his eyes. “No, not everything. I don’t know much about constellations.” What would you like to know? I could read about them and tell you later.” 

Looking into Taehyun’s eyes, the sincerity of it, made Beomgyu’s heart beat faster. He must have been staring for a while, since Taehyun raised his eyebrows at Beomgyu in question. He snapped out of it, but not without fumbling,”NO…no..I mean…nothing, I was just asking. Let’s go downstairs, I think all of them must be asleep by now.” As they made their way back down, Beomgyu realizes that he now knew something  about Taehyun that could be one of the reasons his friends liked him so much.

***

A couple of weeks later, Beomgyu loiters in front of the library at half past 11 on a Wednesday. Needless to say the practice for the showcase has almost gotten his entire schedule messed up. It's going to be another sleepless night. This time at the library. Another desperate submission; procrastinated, stretched until the end of a two-week timeline. Should he be cutting down on his practice hours? 

Library it is, then. To Beomgyu it is a wonderland. Actually, scratch that. Alice wanted to go down that hole. She was curious, she was excited, she was relentless. To him, it's almost intimidating, to pick a book amongst an almost unending vast array, grieving about your fate at whether or not that was the best one to choose for that particular project; what if the other one could have been more helpful? Why are there so many books on the same topic to begin with anyway? 

Beomgyu pulls out an assortment and ambles to the chair, dropping them on the table , a little loud which makes a girl sitting 5 seats away from him look up in a murderous glance for a second and go back to surveying the open pages in front of them. Prick he thinks, half annoyed, half anxious. It's so quiet that he can listen to his own pulse thrumming in his ears. Half-way through sleep gets to him. The words are not legible anymore, and anything he reads goes beyond the boundaries of comprehension, his swimming thoughts are starting to not make even a fraction of a sense; he belatedly closes the book down, telling himself that's it’s a much-required power nap and is out in seconds. He does not know how much time has passed till a sharp poke on his shoulder, repeatedly, interrupts his sleep. 

"Hey, you're not dead right?" It's a known voice, though not very familiar, and is laced with a hint of amusement. He grunts, moving his shoulder away from the source of disturbance. The poking intensifies. He immediately jerks his head up to glare at the perpetrator in annoyance, ready to raise his voice and spew out some unholy language. 

Both things happen at once, as soon as he is about to open his mouth, he recognises Taehyun while Taehyun immediately presses his palm to his mouth, making him reel back with the force of it, "You can't scream in here, they'll throw you out." Beomgyu tries to get some words out, but everything is muffled by Taehyun's hand; he pries it away, with force and whispers angrily, "Then why are you being so annoying!?"

"You should be thanking me. If I hadn't woken you up, you'd have nothing to hand in for tomorrow" Taehyun gestures at his barely written essay and the half-open books scattered on the table, then looks back at him with a smile, that has to be mocking right? It's smug and he looks amused.

"How do you know I was here for a project? “He pauses, eyes turning wide, " Don't tell me, you've been stalking me-"

Taehyun snorts, the same person sitting 5 chairs away, looks up in annoyance again. It’s like someone died in here, or dies every time there is a sound louder than someone’s breath. “We all have assignments to do. it's a library not a private hideout.” Taehyun deadpans.

“And you’re done with your paper?”

“Of course.”

“Oh right, I completely forgot that you’re one of those over-achieving types.” it comes out nastier than he intended. But Taehyun doesn’t bat an eyelid.  

“Yeah, well at least I don’t have to sit the night before to finish my assignments.” Beomgyu can’t make out if he is smug or his face always looks this satisfied. Like he has discovered a secret to life, and no one knows it yet.

He grimaces at his words. Taehyun has settled comfortably and has chosen to observe Beomgyu. 

“Can I help you?” Beomgyu asks, annoyed.

“No, I’m good. Thanks.”

“You’re distracting me.”

“I’m literally just sitting here.”

“Why are you in the library if you don't have anything to do?"

“Who said I didn't have anything to do?”

Beomgyu scoffs,“ Okay. Then why are you here, like here, here." Beomgyu winces at the words as Taehyun raises an eyebrow at him comically. 

“Well, I thought maybe I could help you. Return your favour. But I think I've changed my mind.” 

“WHAT? No!” He can feel the laser beams on the back of his head. The girl has gotten up from her place to change seats. Good riddance. 

“No, please. Stop being an ungrateful prick and help me out here!”

“Don’t call me a prick!” Taehyun retorts. He regards Beomgyu with a blank face. “Fine. But only because I don’t want to be in your debt.”

“In fact, I think what I did for you was noble. I should get at least a month of favours- no no, sit your ass down. Why do you get offended about everything?”

“Look who’s talking. you're distracting me.” he childishly  mocks Beomgyu.

“Taehyun I would love to sit and argue with you but I kind of have to not get thrown out of uni for that. So please can you dial that sass down a bit. Thanks.”

“It’s one paper. You’re so dramatic.” 

“You don’t even know me that well.” 

“You thought I was a dead body. That explains more than enough.”

It’s like he’s doused an energy drink down his throat and is feeling the aftermath of it. That is how arguing with Taehyun is. It fills him up with a sort of unadulterated energy, a jolt of a 1000 watt current flowing through his veins, prodding for the perfect comeback. Taehyun finds him in the worst times and winds him up to the point of pulling his hair out and always has that smug expression on his face when he does so. 

“You know what. I don’t need your help. I’m good.”

“Oh. I- but I -uh-“ Taehyun fumbles, “ But you need my help.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“You’ll be here the entire night.’

“Cool.”

Taehyun falls silent and grabs one of the books from Beomgyu’s pile and settles himself on the opposite side of the table.

“You can leave now.” Beomgyu says, despite himself. A large part of him just wants to give up and take taehyun up on the offer. But he doesn’t want to concede. Not now. When he just about put his foot down. 

“I’ll leave when I want to. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” Beomgyu replies sarcastically, though his insides are screaming in resistance. 

From the corner of his eye Beomgyu watches Taehyun plant the open book in front of him, perfectly obstructing his face from his line of vision. A moment later, he finds Taehyun peeking through from his book, (which he is pretty sure not reading because he hasn’t flipped 1 page in the past 10 minutes ) and goes back to hiding his face again upon catching Beomgyu’s eye. The third time this happens , he keeps his pen down and calls out to Taehyun.

“You have something to say?”. There’s no response. “Kang Taehyun. I’m talking to you.”

“You called me?”

“Pretty sure you’re the only Kang Taehyun here or at least I hope so. I wonder what we’d do with more of you.”

Taehyun throws him a blank  stare, “Can I help you?”

“You tell me. You’ve looked at me at least a dozen times while you fake read that book.”

Taehyun scoffs, “Fake read. How’d you know? Pretty sure you’ve never read a book in your life.”

It’s not much of an insult to him. There’s no shame in that. But the way Taehyun says it, condescending, challenging, the prickling annoyance is back. Before he can retort, Taehyun speaks up, again,

“Sorry. I - I didn’t mean it….like that” His face does look apologetic. Almost. The next thing Beomgyu knows, Taehyun is getting up from his chair across from him and walking over to settle down next to him. He sighs defeatedly, while Beomgyu is frozen over what is happening. He’s never sat this close to Taehyun before, their shoulders touching and the faint smell of his cologne wafting in the shared air around them. There is another jolt of that 1000 watt current flowing through Beomgyu’s  veins and not like the one before. At all.  

He blames it on anxiety and lack of sleep. 

“Can you for once stop trying to up me in this ridiculous bickering match we keep on having? Can we keep our weapons down for one freaking second?” 

Beomgyu wants to retort, proving Taehyun's words futile but he bites his tongue; one because he really could use some help and two because, perhaps this is the first time that Taehyun has acknowledged this dynamic of theirs and is finally asking for a truce. Even though it might be a short-lived one. As usual it’s hard to tell.

"So, what is the assignment about?"

It's something that they have been already working on in their year- Style studies, Taehyun explains and since he is mostly ahead of others anyway (no surprises there), he then wordlessly gets up and disappears into the shelves, Beomgyu’s eyes following his every move, only to emerge with a couple of books and place them in front of Beomgyu. “These helped me a lot. Maybe they’ll help you too.” 

“-I- thanks.” He mumbles, slightly surprised. Hueningkai’s words rapidly entered in and out of his head. He expects Taehyun to finally leave, but he drags Beomgyu’s notebook towards himself to look at his notes, which are nothing much to look at anyways, and mumbles,”you have so much to do.” Beomgyu hasn’t moved a single bit. He looks pointedly at Beomgyu, and huffs in half annoyance and half urgency,”Do you want to stay here the entire night?” 

“No. of course not.”

There’s half a silence between the two, half because it is sometimes filled with a comment and a committal or a non-committal grunt- but none of it mocking, or made of sass. Purely related to what they’re reading at hand. A feat that once seemed impossible to accomplish, while they devour together the books Taehyun had picked and then Beomgyu begins to type his paper. From then on, something incredible happens. Taehyun starts a conversation. With him. A casual, nonchalant, “Why’d you choose to be a dancer?” Beomgyu halts mid-way, taken aback but gets over the initial shock to talk about the story, which he always has the most joy in recalling. 

Taehyun listens. 

Intently; nodding at places, smiling at times and Beomgyu wondering if they’ve fallen into a Matrix. Or if it's a never ending dream sequence, from which he refuses to wake up. The crowd in the library has dwindled to only a couple other people and yet, taehyun just sits there, listening to Beomgyu’s account which he tells in rushed up bits and long breaks and sometimes distracted yet sometimes enthusiastic tone while the same time he furiously types away on his laptop. Taehyun simply rests his hands on the cheek, his entire body slightly maneuvered towards Beomgyu as he listens, and follows Beomgyu's work, breaking his streak in between with his (helpful) comments. When beomgyu punches the last full stop, he turns to see a smiling Taehyun. Not the mocking, smug smile that he has on when they bicker, but a genuine warm smile that he has on when around his, ahem, their friends. 

Something warm spreads within Beomgyu’s chest. He doesn’t understand what it’s supposed to mean.  

“Do you….do you want to walk back together…or?” Beomgyu timidly asks Taehyun, as he busies himself with packing his stuff up, unable to look him in the eye. Taehyun takes a long stretch, and rubs his palms on his face. Exactly like a cat. Beomgyu adores cats. He shakes his head vigorously, “No, I’ve got my night shift to go to.” 

“Then I’ll walk you to the store,” Beomgyu says, before he can stop himself. 

***

One morning Beomgyu has Soobin bursting through his front door, while he’s trying to piece together a badly strung song that he had been working on for days for his solo performance, and just not able to get a hang of. He’s going to make Hueningkai listen to it later for some helpful feedback. He’s pulling his hair in frustration, while Soobin, mirroring his distress, but for completely different reasons is fretting and walking in circles around him. Beomgyu pulls his hands out of his hair and observes Soobin. One thing he has learnt in his friendships is not to poke until poked. So he does his thing till Soobin finally stills  and flops down on the couch beside him, 

“How much do you think Yeonjun hyung likes me?”

“Did you guys have a fight?” he asks, casually yet cautiously, wondering if there was any more space in his life for the stress associated with his best friends fighting. No. There wasn’t. He hadn’t really decided whose side he would be on, when, NO, if such a situation arose. And he hoped he would never have to. But it doesn’t take time for things to unravel, for threads to break, for bridges to burn. Nothing in your hands, and then ashes later. Shit. The way Beomgyu’s brain worked made him a great song-writer; one could find him devouring poetry, and penning out his own verses in random corners of his house, alone in the cafeteria, staying back in his classrooms, but at the same time, the extreme sensitivity often affected him worse. He liked to keep his rose coloured glasses on. 

“What? No. No, we didn't have a fight.” Soobin replied, sounding annoyed, but more at himself.  Beomgyu waited patiently for him to continue.  

“If I ask him-ughh….I don’t know, Gyu. You’ve know him longer than I have-”

“Only like a semester longer hyung-”

“Yes but still-still. What do you think he’ll say if iaskhimtomoveinwithme?” Soobin finished, breathless. 

Beomgyu heaves a sigh of relief, and gives Soobin a pointed look that means to say, Is this even a question you should be afraid of asking ? And there is a little pride that he holds inside, being the person his friends can come to, to confide.

”I’m nervous about asking him. Because I’m so sure. And if he isn't, I’m okay with that too. But if Yeonjun starts thinking that we’re not on the same page and then if he starts getting second thoughts, or worse,” Soobin rambles, “ what if he says yes only because he doesn’t want to upset me, which is worse because, I won’t get upset if he says no, I’d understand-”

“Soobin hyung!”

Soobin abruptly ends his speech. “Do you really wanna know what I think?” Beomgyu asks him.

Soobin just nods at him, sitting down beside him. “I think that the question would not have popped into your head at all, if you already didn’t know that Yeonjun was ready. That is how much you know each other.”Beomgyu tells him. Gosh, and you’re the one studying psychology” Beomgyu welcomes a bone-crushing hug and also a don’t pretend you know what the fuck you’re talking about when you say psychology. Before Soobin leaves, they make plans to rewatch Katekyo Hitman reborn! later in the evening, and it ends with being the usual addition of Yeonjun and Hueningkai (and Taehyun), as Soobin says ‘the gang’ and Beomgyu gags.

“That’s such a hetero thing to say.”

“You’re bi. The closest thing amongst any of us to heterosexuality."

“And Kai”

Soobin ponders for a second, “Who could be farthest from and or closest to it.”

“Whenever I ask him, he shuts me up with a wink and a flying kiss!”

“Wait, you too!? Me too.” Soobin cries in shared frustration. 

“What about Taehyun, though?” The question escapes Beomgyu before he can take a moment and think before he speaks. Soobin looks at him like he is stupid for asking a question as obvious as this one,”How do you think Yeonjun Hyung knew Taehyun?”

Oh? Oh. Yeonjun and his wide circuit of LGBTQ friends. But what the hell. Beomgyu should be offered brownie points for not assuming. Especially in this day and age.

Beomgyu shrugs, “I knew that hyung knew him, not how.” he mumbles, “I didn’t bother to ask.”

“Oh, right. I forgot how petty you become when it comes to Taehyun.”

“I don’t-”

“Taehyun was one of the volunteers at that LGBTQ youth shelter fund raiser last semester, where the dance team performed, hyung included, of course.”

“The one I had to sit out because I sprained my ankle !”

“Right. Because you don’t have an ounce of self preservation.”

“I’m not as bad as before, though.”

“Touche.”

Soobin stared at him for a moment, a small impish smile forming on his lips. Irritably, Beomgyu said, "What?”

“Is it good that you’re curious about Taehyun? Are you finally going to relent? Let him inside this pretend iciness and chasm of a heart.” Soobin teases, while Beomgyu rolls his eyes at him. 

“It pisses you off that he doesn’t fall for your charm as easily.”  

“You admit I’m charming hyung?” Beomgyu blinks and pouts, trying to act cute, and Soobin throws a pillow at him. 

“I’ll admit that I can suffer through you, because of times that you can maybe be not as annoying as always.” Soobin mutters and Beomgyu cackles at the closest thing to flattery that he’s ever going to get from Soobin. 

“I could charm Taehyun if I wanted too,” 

“No, you couldn’t.” Soobin replies like it's a fact,”You cannot even carry a straight conversation with him.”

“How can I carry a conversation with somebody who has already decided they are better than me!?” Beomgyu cries in desperation.

“I don’t think you should generalise one incident and use it as a basis for….for this…childish rivalry.”

“He argues with me-”

“Correction. You both argue with each other.”

“And who starts it?” 

Soobin raises an eyebrow at him. 

“yeah , okay me…but with good reason-”

“Yeah, alright.” Soobin gets up with a huge sigh, clearly seeing that this is going to go nowhere.”Whatever you say. Not like you can trust us when we say we like the guy.” 

“Not this again-”

“Remind me again why you choose to hang out with us 3 when like you once said, you have literally befriended half the school ?” 

Beomgyu falls silent. Soobin isn’t wrong. Plus he’d actually also made some questionable decisions when it came to people he used to hang out with, especially before meeting Yeonjun.

“Yes, true. But I'd like to be be wary of people, all the same.” 

”I just think you’re better than this. And anyway, you're the one who brought him up.” Soobin brightens up, as he suddenly remembers something, “Speaking of, there’s a party next weekend. Wooyoung's house. His parents are going to be away for the weekend. Come along for a change. You haven’t been to any parties this entire semester.” Soobin ads. Beomgyu looks at him like he’s grown two heads. 

“You, Choi Soobin, are asking me if I want to go to a party. Are pigs flying?” Beomgyu makes a show of trying to peek out of the window for effect, but Soobin is anyway used to his Shenanigans. Before Soobin can respond, Beomgyu continues in a  lofty tone,”Are you proud of yourself that you’ve changed yourself for your precious boyfriend.” Soobin tries but fails to flicks his forehead,”You used to be the shy, introverted, imma-stay-home-and-watch-anime this weekend kind of a person’ Beomgyu continues

‘and the moment you meet Yeonjun hyung, he rubs off on you immediately-” 

“Not immediately-”                                                              

“You should be ashamed of yourself. Of what you’ve become.”

“Should I be? I made Junie Hyung watch Haikyuu!  last week and guess who had plans to skip the party to watch Fullmetal Alchemist over the weekend. He’s been inhaling anime like nobody’s business, and you can thank me for that. I’d say we’ve rubbed off on each other.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Insufferable!” ( Though he’d too skip a party to watch Fullmetal Alchemist. That shit’s classic, and he can never grow tired of it.)

“Hey, you know what. I take back what I said before. You’re actually no better and I hope one day Taehyun throws a nice punch at you for shitting too much.” Soobin has his dimples on full display, despite displeasure splayed across his face. They are brilliant. Worthy of all the gushing that he’d heard from Yeonjun till his ears bled when he was crushing so painfully on Soobin. 

Yeonjun can’t resist them, but Beomgyu can. So, he doesn’t give a definitive answer to the invitation to the party.  Instead he childishly shooes Soobin away from his house.  

***

Beomgyu eventually concedes. 

The party is what Beomgyu would expect any party to be. The entire dance team is there, busting out seriously impressive moves that no one who isn’t professionally trained has tried to join in. Yeonjun for a change is actually with the dancers and Soobin is in an animated conversation with a girl from his Psych Eval class Arin, who Beomgyu Soobin later told that had her friends cancel on her and was here alone. What a sweetheart. The music is so loud, that at this point it’s just noise. He sees a few student from his music classes, few friends of friends, and he’s just here, waiting on Hueningkai (and Taehyun) to show up, so that he doesn’t get dragged any moment to the dance floor, because honestly, he genuinely feels like curling up in his couch with a blanket and gorge unhealthily on potato chips. 

But Hueningkai isn’t showing up and Yeonjun is egging him on, so is Wooyoung. 

Beomgyu is regretting all his life decisions.

And then his body is moving on his own; there is hooting and cheers, and adrenaline rushing to every ending through every nerve. 

It's not bad. It’s not bad at all. He needed this. To shake the anxiety and stress of the last few weeks off. To let loose a bit. To let the adrenaline and alcohol take its course. When was the last time he actually danced not to prove anything? Just dance because he enjoyed it? 

Just dance to-

It’s Taehyun. And Hueningkai. They’re here. His eyes meet Taehyun’s so looks at him, rather stares. Expressionless. But not how he generally is. A different kind. Its-...whatever. Yeonjun reckons Hueningkai over, while Beomgyu sees Taehyun make his way towards the snacks and drinks. He doesn’t care, but he really help but wonder if Taehyun was really the kind to show up to parties; from what he knew of him, he would have never taken Taehyun the kind to strike conversations with strangers, or bear with disturbingly loud music, or get wasted. For all the brilliance that he showed, he could be rather wound up. “Looking good, hyung!” Hueningkai hollers, and then whistles as the music ends and Beomgyu finishes off with a very impressive split in the middle of the dance floor. Where is Taehyun now, when he is actually doing something cool and not fumbling like an idiot around him? He gets cheers from everyone around him, and he sees even Soobin and Arin, and a bunch of other people had actually gotten and joined the crowd surrounding the dancers, whooping and clapping. His eyes searched for one person, the only one he couldn’t find amongst them all. 

As the crowd dispersed, still clapping and whistling, the music turned into something more mellow and  Hueningkai walked up to him, grinning sheepishly. From the corner of his eye, he saw that Soobin had finally joined Yeonjun, but was squabbling with Yeosang, also from their dance team, about something so passionately that Yeonjun was laughing and looking fondly at him, their hands tucked inside the back pocket of each other’s jeans. “Yeah, they’re arguing over Jung’s Myer Briggs personality types at a party ” Hueningkai snickered, and Beomgyu shook his head in mock exasperation. 

“Sorry, we were late, Taehyun got caught up with something.” 

“You’re abandoning me for him now.” Beomgyu retorted, poking a finger square into Hueningkai’s chest. 

“Geez hyung, it’s not that serious, stop being dramatic.”

“Speaking of, where is that friend of yours, he missed all these impressive moves I was busting just now,-”

“You mean you missed to show off all these moves to him. But I wonder why you would want to even show off to Taehyun in the first place-” 

Thankfully, Hueningkai is distracted by a classmate before he could start his tirade and Beomgyu makes his way to the quite impressive assortment of snacks laid out on two huge tables put together, with a huge bowl of punch, that was most probably more alcohol than juice, especially by the pungent smell surrounding it, and other kinds of alcohol, which clearly by the look of it, were picked by somebody who didn’t have much clue of what they were doing, other than just picking alcohol. Gin, rum, whisky, bottles of cokes and sprite and soda. There by the bowl is Kang Taehyun, gulping down an impressive amount of punch, all in one go. 

“You might wanna slow down there.” Beomgyu says, despite himself. 

Taehyun gulps, and wipes a hand over his mouth, eyes wide and startled. Beomgyu looks at his outfit, and it seems like Taehyun made no effort to dress up whatsoever. Always with the same sweater vest and shirt. The only thing different was that he is donning a big pair of black glasses, which usually he did not, and which makes him seem more out of place at the party, but also less intimidating. Cute, almost. 

“Hi, hyung.” Taehyun says and for a second Beomgyu is taken by surprise, but he regains his composure. 

“What are you doing here all by yourself?” Beomgyu asks, a part of him annoyed that Taehyun did not join all the other onlookers while he was dancing, and also because Taehyun looks pitiful, standing alone all by himself in his nerd-like outfit, drinking alone. He is only being empathetic, Beomgyu tells himself. 

Taehyun looks confused, glances at the cup in his hand, unsure and says, “Umm….drinking?”

Beomgyu glances at Hueningkai, behind Taehyun, doing a goofy dance, beer spilling from the bottle he has in his hand.  

“Aren’t you drinking a tad too much?”

“I’ve had a shitty day.” Taehyun says and pouts. 

“Why? Did you get a B- on an assignment rather than the usual A.” Beomgyu tries to joke, trying not to stare too much at Taehyun’s pouting lips.

By the look on Taehyun’s face, he realizes that’s exactly what has happened and, and his own eyes widen in disbelief. Taehyun pours himself another drink, this time rum mixed with coke. Beomgyu can't help but stop him before he brings the cup to his lips, slightly aware that his hand is on top of Taehyun's. 

“You can’t be fucking serious.Are you kidding me? It’s not that big of a deal.” Taehyun shrugs, looks at Beomgyu’s hand on top of his, which makes Beomgyu drop it, and then he continues to gulp down his drink again. It's strange to see, in fact. Beomgyu never expected that Taehyun would be somebody who took things hard like this. Somehow, he just looked like somebody who did everything right all the time, without faults. Beomgyu this time grabs his arm, steering him away from the drinks and makes his way towards their friends. 

“Come on,” he says to a startled Taehyun, “We’re taking you away from here.” Taehyun obliges, which only makes Beomgyu think that he must be a little drunk by now. He delivers him next to Hueningkai, who engulfs Taehyun in a half a hug, one arm around his shoulder, a bit too hard, screaming like a dolphin in his ear. 

Beomgyu topples over in laughter, while Taehyun looks at him pleadingly, trying to unclasp himself from Hueningkai’s clutches. Right on cue, they are joined by a couple of other people, who Beomgyu recognizes as Taehyun's classmates from his major, but who doesn’t really know personally, but of course Taehyun does. He watches as Taehyun unclasps himself from Hueningkai’s grip and escapes toward them. He then disappears into the crowd and moments later,Beomgyu feels silly for pitying Taehyun, he clearly wasn’t all by himself here. Beomgyu finds him with a larger group, moving to the music, carefree and drunk. Beomgyu really was worrying for no reason at all. 

A couple of hours later, he is sitting all by himself, munching on fries, half the crowd dwindling. Soobin and Yeonjun have left, after handling him the responsibilty of the younger ones, that now  he’s lost track, and he’s just about ready to leave as well, if he can just find them. He gets up with purpose, ready to drag both of them from wherever they are and back home. He wanders around the whole house, annoyed by now, his head buzzing, when he is stopped by a hand on his arm. “Hey, Beomgyu, right?” It's a girl he barely recognises. Maybe someone he’s seen from his practical music class but never talked to. She’s pretty, in a very obvious way. A thin triangle jaw, perfect nose, and small beady eyes and eyelashes which appear to be large and fake. She blinks her eyes in a way he can only assume to be flirty. 

“Kyujin. I don’t know if you remember me from our shared music theory class.” Okay, so music theory. When he doesn’t reply, she continues,”I’m gonna do this now because I’m a little buzzed or else I would never have the courage.” She takes a deep breath, “I think you’re really cute and I really like you-” 

But Beomgyu isn’t listening, in front of his eyes appears Kang Taehyun. He’s by himself, eyes closed, swaying like he has no care in the world and for some reason, fairy lights twinkling over his silver head. Beomgyu feels the breath knocked out of his lungs by a force that is on par with a tornado. For a moment, he’s completely lost, numb, just staring at the boy in question. It's only when their eyes meet that he quickly averts them. 

He regains his senses, and finds Kyujin, handing him a napkin with a number on it. He knew she was talking, but completely missed her confession. “-I don’t know, if you ever feel like, send me a text, I dunno, I’d like that if, umm…you’d like that, you know, i mean..” he flashes a smile at her and she immediately relaxes. But he himself feels like his whole body is burning. He takes the napkin from her hand, still maintaining his smile, “Kyujin…thank you. But I’m really not looking to date anyone right now. Maybe we could be friends.” She looks crestfallen, and pulls her hair behind her ear, “Yeah…I mean…yeah sure.” and then in a flash, she disappears, Beomgyu watching her back as she retreats. He would feel bad for rejecting someone, but he’s too distraught. 

“I’m ready to leave.” comes Taehyun’s voice from behind him. Beomgyu doesn’t bother to look at him, he cannot look at him.`Great, I need to find Kai now.” he says, on the move again, feeling Taehyun following him.  

They take the last bus (take is overstating it, when Beomgyu being the only non-drunk person of the three is supporting the other two fairly larger-than-him men into the empty vehicle while the bus driver throws judgemental looks at him) and (barely)walk back to the dorm. Since Beomgyu has no way of bringing Taehyun to his dorm, being that Taehyun is too busy being half asleep to punch in his passcode. Hence, Beomgyu finds himself with the younger boys in his and Heungingkai’s dorm and the present situation looks something like this-

They are in kai's room and Kai has a molang in his hand that is currently in a chokehold. The distorted face of the plushie making it look like an ugly monster from a children's novel, a complete contrast to the content smile on his lips. Taehyun has settled on the other side, but he's sitting up and staring at the floor; or probably his shoes that he then jerks off from his feet. Then, he removes his socks and flings them; they land at separate corners of the room. He falls backwards on the bed and drags himself on his back to reach the headboard. He props himself up against it and watches as Beomgyu picks his socks up, puts them in the cloth hamper and neatly places his shoes under the bed. 

"You need to get out of those clothes. You can change by yourself, isn't it?" Not that he's going to help Taehyun;  that would mean seeing his, well, naked chest. Beomgyu might have, (key word: might) have wondered what it looked like. He's pretty sure it's going to be annoyingly perfect like Taehyun is. All glorious and what not with the obsession he has with working out. Taehyun seems to have chosen the vow of silence. Again, he only points to Beomgyu’s cupboard. 

"We could be the same size…so…uh ... .I'll lend you something of mine" Beomgyu says awkwardly; still no reply. If it were a different situation, he's sure Taehyun would be ready with some sharp retort. But Taehyun has been staring at him continuously for the past few minutes, and he's becoming conscious about it. Taehyun has never paid him so much attention before. It's always him starting their  unnecessary childish squabbles. 

 He grabs the first T-shirt he can find that looks less rattier than others, and then he throws it over to Taehyun. It lands on his lap and  he again stares at it for a few moments with furrowed brows like he's trying to understand what it's doing there before easily gliding his T shirt off . Before Beomgyu can take a good look (not that he was actively trying for it; he's not creepy, just curious and Taehyun might be just a little hot) he's already slipped on the fresh T shirt. Without warning he starts to unbutton his -Beomgyu's- jeans and Beomgyu can feel the blood rushing into his cheeks. 

"Kang Taehyun!"

This is a lot. He can't handle this. A drunk disoriented Taehyun who's looking gorgeous despite hurling his heart out just a couple of hours ago, who has forgotten what speaking even is and is ready to let Beomgyu see his semi- naked body. This is not good.

"Beomgyu Hyung? I - ... didn't see you there. What are you doing here?" He says happily. With a large fucking smile on his face, like he wasn't just about to remove his pants in front of him. Beomgyu quickly grabs a pair of shorts and flings it into his lap, "I'm...just umm going to turn the other way. Let me know when you are done."

A few minutes pass and Taehyun calls out to him, "Why are you standing like that? Face me." When he turns around, thankfully he's changed. He looks young, with his banana printed bottoms that reach his knees and he wiggles his toes that he's looking at in fascination. Beomgyu wants to imprint the scene to memory. He wants to take a while video of him doing just that, wiggling his toes cutely and shovelling it in his face to drive him nuts. Somehow, he doesn't have the heart to do that. However, all things considered, the truth is, looking this adorable should be illegal. His insides have started doing a , and breathing is becoming laborious. Beomgyu grabs the denim and deposits it on a spare chair. He needs to get out of here. Whatever has happened till this point is messing with his brain. 

But then again, Taehyun looks pale, and so out of it, he cannot help but linger around a little more. 

"I'm thirsty." 

"I-I'll get you some water." he replies immediately.

"Thank you." Again, with it. He doesn't sound like the Taehyun he knows. His voice an octave higher, curling towards the end with a sweetness that is in no way forced. 

He gulps down the water greedily, and offers the empty glass back to Beomgyu, smiling at him. A sweet smile. A Thankful smile.

"Thank you, hyung."

"For bringing you both back here?" Taehyun is looking at him like he's trying to find the answer to a difficult sum. He pays no heed to Beomgyu's question, "You don't have to say thank you. As if I was going to leave you on the sidewalk to fend for your drunken ass- Taehyun?" Beomgyu is a statue of bewilderment as Taehyun's eyes turn glassy, his nose is scrunched up like he's about to let out a nasty sneeze. He looks distressed.  Taehyun's drunk and he's let all guard down before Beomgyu. 

He hesitantly inches his hand towards Taehyun's and lays a hand on his, squeezing. Taehyun's eyes slid down to his hand, and then back at him. He sniffles.

"Hey, hey..a-are you crying?"

"Hyungg-" Taehyun manages to splutter, his voice coming out like a low whine, and he continues to look at Beomgyu who is shocked out of his wits. Then something surreal happens. Taehyun crawls on all fours towards Beomgyu, proceeds to himself to him so that they are sitting with their arms mushed against each other. Then he wraps an arm around Beomgyu and settles his face in the crook of his neck. He can feel Taehyun's hot breath against the wet tears that are now pooling on his neck. His whole body feels like it's cackling with heat. It's just delirium. It's The effect of barely any hours of sleep. 

It is absolutely not Kang Taehyun, the most annoying  (and sometimes insanely attractive)bratty boy clinging to him  like his life depends on it.

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"You hate me. You hate me right? I wish you didn't hate me."

'Taehyun, I... don't hate you."

"You're lying." Taehyun mumbles, but it sounds more like gurgling than actual words. Then he stops all of a sudden. The palm of his hand that rests on top of Beomgyu's chest, slides over his stomach and he presses his,once, twice while Beomgyu is about to combust into a million pieces. “Wh-what ar-are you doing.” he stammers breathless, almost whispering. 

“You have almost no muscle.” Taehyun says easily, like their proximity doesn’t affect him at all.

“I’ll have you know..I did a full six pushups today.”

Taehyun looks up at him, eyebrows scrunching.”Six-ty?”

"No, six"

"six hundred?"

"no, idiot. Six"

Taehyun bursts out laughing, and the sound rumbles pleasantly in his ear. It's then that Taehyun uncoils himself from Beomgyu and makes himself more comfortable on the bed. Beomgyu leaps up from the bed, his whole body shaky like and fired up like molten lava crawling through his veins, the way he feels when he bickers with Taehyun. Only now, they weren’t bickering. He looks at Taehyun, who’s looking at him, although his eyes are slightly drooping. Beomgyu cannot help but smile. 

“You should sleep, you goose.” 

“You should sleep, you goose,” Taehyun repeats with a smile of his own. Beomgyu slips out of the room.

***

Taehyun is definitely avoiding him. 

Or not. He hasn't seen the younger one for more than a couple of days now and Taehyun generally does drop by at least once a day, even if it's just for a hi. 

(of course not to Beomgyu but the side eye that he receives by the said person needs an honorable mention.)

However, after what happened on Saturday, he hasn't seen Taehyun around; not during lunch nor in his house nor him tagging along with either of the three when he's seen them around campus in the small chasms of time when Beomgyu's rushing from one class to the other. 

Well it's been 2 days. 

"Soo... Taehyun's not annoyed me in a while." he starts off, trying to sound as nonchalant as he can. 

HueningKai looks up from his phone with a blank expression. "Are you saying you want him to?" he asks and goes back to squinting at the screen. He whispers a small dammit which is in an instant replaced by a large smile. He plays candy crush like his life depends on it. 

"Um...I was just wondering what could have brought in that change? You know. I mean did I finally get through to him, or..."

"What are you talking about? He was here just a while ago. And he's been busy. Why don't you get off his case or admit to your embarrassing crush on him" 

"Can you all stop this crush? It's not a crush!"

"Says you. Anyway, maybe Taehyun finally decided to come here when you're not around so that you can't annoy his brains out." 

Beomgyu shuffles on the couch and twiddles with his thumbs. That's not possible. It could have been believable had he not encountered the drunk Taehyun. He shudders.

How much would have Taehyun remembered of how he behaved when he was drunk? 

"What's up with you? You anyway barely talk straight to him when he's around." 

"Kai...did he...did he... say anything about me recently?"

Kai finally puts his phone aside and regards Beomgyu with a frown,"No. Why would he? What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

"You're being suspicious." 

"No, I'm not!"

Kai hums unconvincingly. "Do you want me to tell him you were looking for him?"

"No! No..why would you do that?"

"Fine. Do you want me to tell him that you miss him?" Kai smirks. 

"I think this conversation is over."

"You know," Kai starts, and Beomgyu is already creating explanations in his head for the question, bracing himself for whatever nonsense Kai is going to spill, "He lives downstairs. If you're so curious, why don't you pay him a visit."

Oh, right. How did that piece of information skip his mind? 

"I'm not curious." 

"Okay." Kai surprisingly drops it. 

But Taehyun, after all, does live only downstairs. 

***

The door to the apartment is opened by a person Beomgyu has never seen before. Ah, the famous roommate. He doesn’t like how Beomgyu would have imagined him, not that he had a lot to go on. But he didn’t expect him to look his kind and be so smiley. His eyes crinkled when he smiled. So, Taehyun’s roommate was pretty cute. He found himself not liking this piece of information. 

“Oh, hi…um…is Taehyun around? I’m Beomgyu..I’m his….” Friend? Were they friends?….Beomgyu.” he finally fumbles like an idiot. 

“You’re his Beomgyu?” the guy at the door smiled larger than before. 

“NO!, no, I mean..”

“I’m just messing with you. I know which Beomgyu you are. Come in. Taehyun is in his room. I’m Jimin by the way. And you can call me Hyung since I’m older than you” 

“Uh, thank you. Nice to meet you, hyung.” What does he mean by I know which Beomgyu you are? Does Taehyun talk shit about his back with his cute roommate? 

He knocks on the door even though it's half ajar and there is no privacy that he hasn't yet invaded, he still needs to alert Taehyun of his presence. He's been observing him silently for a few minutes now and somehow, it's rather unsettling, tactless even, to be staring at him without suggesting that he's there. They're not that close to each other. 

Taehyun is lying on his back staring at the wall. His hands resting on his sides; palms turned downwards, eyes unblinking, almost like he's possessed, or currently having the life sucked out of him. To think of it, he looks like he is in distress, deep in his thoughts and ones that he doesn't like. Although his face never gives his feelings away, something that Beomgyu who carries his heart on his sleeve is both annoyed and jealous of, this is an uncanny sight, because for once it's noticeable and he hardly ever looks like this. 

"I'm not here." 

"Did you just say that?" Taehyun twists his head so quickly that Beomgyu thinks there is no way he's not gotten a cramp.

"Beomgyu?” Taehyun’s  already large eyes seem like they are going to pop put of their sockets.  “What are you doing here?"

“Beomgyu hyung,” Beomgyu corrects him; force of habit. He shuffles his feet awkwardly, "Can I sit?" He gestures carefully to the bed on which Taehyun is sprawled upon, a starfish. He nods and turns his head back to observe the ceiling. He brings the small package he has in his hand and deposits it on the bed as he himself plonks downs  little hesitantly. Taehyun observes the package in wild curiosity; suspicion even and for a second squints at Beomgyu and then glues his eyes back to the package. “And those are-?”

“I got you cookies. I wanted to apologise.” Beomgyu scratches the back of his sheepishly. Taehyun looks at him, then at the package, then again at him. “For?”

For? Well to be honest, Beomgyu felt terrible when Taehyun asked him if he hated Taehyun. He didn’t. He didn’t hate him. He found him annoying, yes, but there was certain endearment in that. Plus, he didn’t know Taehyun would be so affected by it. He guessed that it was kind of a peace offering. Perhaps enough to not be at other other’s throats all the time. 

“For…for sometimes being a jerk to you.”

“Well then” Taehyun starts, then contemplates for a moment before adding, “ don’t be.”

“I thought that was our thing.”

“I didn't know we had a thing.”

Beomgyu pushes the basket towards Taehyun.”I don’t think you’re…..terrible. And I definitely don’t hate you. And….sometimes, I kind of don’t hate it when we bicker.” There. He said it. He wasn’t the one good with talking anyway. if he had to write a song about, that was a different thing. Taehyun drew the basket close and examined the contents inside. He picked up a cookie and observed it in such great detail, as though he was ready to write a thesis on it. 

“They’re bear shaped.” he voiced out loud. “They’re cute.” He bit into one and nodded his head in satisfaction. Beomgyu feels a strange sense of pride. 

“They’re supposed to be me.” 

Taehyun choked on the cookie, and desperately chugged down water. 

Beomgyu explained to him,“I mean ... .last semester Soobin hyung used to work part-time at I KNEAD IT, you know the bakery near campus? He once lost a bet, about …..I don’t remember what now so he had to convince the owner to allow him create these cookies in honour of my birthday, and in the shape of a bear because my nickname for my friends is Gyu-bear, I think you know.” 

“That’s such a….you thing to do.” Taehyun mumbles. “And to give these as an apology.” 

“It’s kind of a metaphor. You get to demolish the bear. The bear being me.” 

Taehyun giggled. “Why did you think I thought you hated me?” He asked as he popped another cookie in his mouth. He doesn’t remember. Of course, he was so drunk. How was Beomgyu going to explain this to him now? He thought Taehyun was avoiding him because he remembered their conversation from the other night. 

“Uh….” 

Taehyun’s expression transformed as the realization dawned upon him.”Hyung….what did I say to you the night of the party?”

“N-nothing.”

“Beomgyu what did I say!?Shit…what did I do?”

“Nothing. You did nothing.”

“Then why are you apologising to me all of a sudden.” 

“Be-because….you avoided me all week and I thought…I thought you might be mad at me.” That was partly true. 

“I wasn’t avoiding you. and it's been 2 days.” 

“Yes, you were.”

No. I wasn’t!”

“I didn't see you at all.”

“Did you miss me now, hyung?” Okay. This conversation was taking a very different turn now. Beomgyu had to shift it around now, and away from himself. 

“Why were you staring at the ceiling when I entered? You seemed completely out of it.”

“You didn’t answer my question, hyung.”

“No, I didn’t miss you, Kang Taehyun. Now you answer mine.” 

“I wasn’t avoiding you. I’ve been trying to focus on my studies. I haven't been out of my room much, just the library sometimes.”

“You got one B. That cannot be that bad!” Beomgyu leaned over to grab a cookie and got his hand swatted away. Hey, they’re mine. 

Taehyun looks like he’s wrestling with his thoughts. Like all his other friends, he doesn’t egg him on. He waits, sneakily leaning forward to try to grab a cookie again and fails yet again, as Taehyun slaps the underside of his palm. As Beomgyu massages it, Taehyun explains, “My parents wanted me to study law or medicine. But I knew I wasn’t cut out for it. I’ve always known that I wanted to do music. But I’ve ……I’ve never been brave enough to tell them that. So anyway I decided to do a business major and do music as a minor. I told myself that if I get straight As, I would gather the courage to tell them that I would want to change my major to music.” 

“And then you got a B.”

“And then I got a B-.”

“But if you don’t want to do a major in Business in the future anyway, how does it matter what grades you get?” 

Taehyun looks at him like he’s solved a riddle that Taehyun would have never expected him to. But then he says,”It’s the principle, hyung.”

Beomgyu raises his palms,”Okay, okay, just saying. This self-torture, self-pity doesn’t seem like a good look on you. You’re Kang Taehyun.”

“What do you mean?” Taehyun indulges him. He grabs another cookie and Beomgyu feels proud of having brought them to him. 

“You’re supposed to be cocky and confident. And you’re brilliant. So, be that instead.” 

Taehyun rolls his eyes but smiles,”That’s nice of you to say.”

“I really mean it, though.”

“Thank you, I guess.” 

“Now do I get a cookie?”

“Fine. You get a cookie.” 

Out of nowhere, Jimin the hyung pokes his head inside the room, scaring the bejesus out of Beomgyu. 

“Can I just say…you guys are really cute.’ 

Then he exists as suddenly as he had entered, leaving Beomgyu to wonder what was that about. Taehyun on the other hand turns as red as the necktie on the cookie bears.

***

Taehyun is fast asleep at the billing counter of the deserted shop. It’s 1a.m in the night and Beomgyu is the only customer waiting on the sleeping employee of the 24/7 store. So, Beomgyu flicks his forehead. 

“Aaaaahhh. What the hell!?” Taehyun screams while furiously rubbing his forehead,”Wait…did I fall asleep?”

“Yes you did. And you have me to thank for waking you up.Yet again.” 

Taehyun scans Beomgyu from head to toe, leaving him feeling extremely self conscious. Then without missing a beat, he goes, “You’re sweating like a pig.”

“Duh…I just came back from practice.”

“At 1a.m in the night.”

Beomgyu shrugged.  Taehyun grabbed the instant ramyeeon and the strawberry milk that Beomgyu had placed on the billing counter. 

“Is that your dinner?” Taehyun inquires, eyeing the screen of the billing machine, “That’s not very healthy, you know.”

“I know.” Beomgyu replies, observing Taehyun’s expression. By now, he knows it all too well,”Just spit it out. I know you’re dying to say something.” 

“Well shouldn’t you be taking care of your health with your showcase so near. Just saying. You might want to consider eating some vegetables.” 

“I eat vegetables."

“Right. If there was ever a picky eater it’d be you. I’ve often seen you at lunch. You look at vegetables like they’ve committed a sin against you.”

That’s really uncalled for. “Taehyun, I’m too tired to have this conversation right now. I just wanna have a meal and sleep.” Beomgyu grabs the ramen box and heads towards the water dispenser to fill the cup with hot water. When he actually settles on the seats on the edge of the store, he finds another person hoist themselves up on the chairs with their own box of Ramen. 

“Weren’t you just saying how bad this is for health?” he asks dumbfounded Taehyun who is shoving an unholy amount of noodles in his mouth.

“For you it is. I don’t have a dance showcase coming up in less than 2 months.” He answers, with a straight face. 

“Hypocrite.” Beomgyu grumbles. Taehyun grins and winks at him, unbothered yet again. Beomgyu has to admit, and this time not begrudgingly as to how attractive Taehyun really is; no resentment or jealousy. Beomgyu also wants to ask him how he’s doing, especially after the conversation they had in his dorm room but he doesn’t know how to bring the topic up. They eat in silence, and while it’s not uncomfortable, it holds spaces that beg to be filled by words. He wants to thank Taehyun for breaking it. 

“How’s practice going?” Taehyun leans on the counter, his right palm resting on his cheek, eyes focused completely on Beomgyu.”Are you ready to blow ‘em away?” He smiles and it’s genuine.

Beomgyu shrugs,”it’s not going….bad. Good, I might even say. About 3/4th of my solo routine, I choreographed myself, so I’m proud of that. I may not be as brilliant as Yeonjun-hyung or some of the others, but I’m not bad.” 

“I think you’re better than you think you are.” 

“What? You don’t have to tell me I’m good to return the favour, Taehyun. Plus, how would you even know? You haven’t seen me dance.”

Taehyun looks at him confused. “Of course I’ve seen you dance. I’ve dropped by the studio so many times with Soobin hyung and sometimes with Kai. You’ve….wow you never noticed me.” 

“I-well I guess you don’t have a very notice-worthy presence.” Boemgyu clears his throat, knowing how untrue what he said was. 

“Is it? Don’t you always complain how I’m just there around you  all the time. Isn’t that because you actually notice my presence?”

“I deal with your presence.”  

“Are we doing our thing now? where you try to insult me and then act like a baby when I respond?” Taehyun has no bite in his words. Instead he looks amused. 

“Very funny.” Beomgyu hesitates, before blurting out what he’s been meaning to ask for` a while.”I -I guess…you’re doing better now? Did you talk to your parents?” 

“Hmm…hmm…I am. Not yet, but I will soon. I guess all it took were some kind words from a frenemy.”

Beomgyu almost choked on his strawberry milk, from the sudden burst of laughter ”What now? Fre-frenemy? We’re frenemies? Oh my god, you sound ridiculous.” Taehyun was laughing as well.”You’re such an idiot, Kang Taheyun.” 

“You better notice me the next time I come around to the dance studio.” 

“You just want to make sure you never deprive me of yourself.”

“That’s what frenemies are for, Beomgyu hyung.”

***

It’s too early to be out for a run, but an earnest attempt to clear his head of pestering thoughts. Plugging in his earphones, he scrolls through radio stations, listening with wariness about the benefits of  apparently there’s nothing like a morning motivation session to the start of a productive day, or Is Life coaching the new scam of the 21st century: a delve into toxic positivity the real deal? He switches back to a song because even thinking about capitalistic takeover of the world in a drowning economy, especially when he fears his own creative prospects dwindling down to a narrow conduit, is definitely not the way to start a Monday morning.

There’s a knock at the door, which is the weirdest time for something or someone to be at their doorstep. He peeks into Kai’s room, half-expecting to see it empty as the only person at the door could be him, but it isn’t. Kai is knocked out cold, bundled up on his blankets. He makes his way to the door and yanks it open. It’s Taehyun.

“Oh.!” Taehyun looks surprised, as though he didn’t expect Beomgyu to be there. and Beomgyu wants to retort, but it is really too early in the morning. Taehyun is wearing a gym attire sleeveless T- shirt, generously revealing a good portion of his collar bones. A small duffle bag hoisted is his shoulder. They’re quite broad even. But whatever, Beomgyu’s shoulders are broader. Maybe.

“What’s up?” Beomgyu leans against the doorway and stares beyond Taehyun’s head, the morning mist hanging in the sky. Taehyun slips his hand into his right pocket and retrieves a drive and hands it over to Beomgyu, “It’s Kai’s. I forgot to give it to him before and he’ll be needing it during his morning class.”

“Okay.”

“I- I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Taehyun clears his threat, apologizing in a matter-of-fact manner. Maybe it was the 2-minute morning motivation that doesn’t make him feel grouchy about being woken up. 

“I’ll keep it on the tab. Lot of things you owe me for.” Beomgyu teases and watches Taehyun’s expression turn into that of annoyance. Maybe he is the one who should be listening to that talk. 

“I’m kidding, Taehyun.” Taehyun slips the other hand in his pocket and swings on the heels on his foot. “Cool. Okay. I’m gonna go-“

“Did you get Soobin Hyung to join you by the way?” 

Then he sees it. A genuine smile, breaking on Kang Taehyun’s face, for him. What a miracle. A Monday morning miracle. A paradox.  “Actually, no. I told him he is risking getting a bucket of icy cold water splashed on his face if he doesn't wake up on time to join me. I wouldn’t hesitate.”

“Positive reinforcement Taehyun. Soobin Hyung is too easy-going to be threatened. You could tell him the sky’s falling over and he’d still not budge. ”

“You know about Skinner? That’s a surprise.”

“There’s so much you don’t know about me, Kang Taehyun. You know, sometimes I don't understand what you take me for " 

Taehyun doesn't reply, he holds up his hand in an L formation above his forehead with a grin on his face, finally starting to move away. 

"Lame. You're lame, Kang Taehyun"

"And you're a loser!" Taehyun whips his head back for a second to scream, before he disappears down the staircase. There's a wide smile on Beomgyu's face which he doesn't realize until he's back on his bed.

***

It's Friday night; and despite heavy insistence from the hosts, he decides to not go to Chan and Felix's party. Kai had been taken ill last night, and he was in his room sleeping the entire day. Beomgyu’s own  head weighs like a boulder, and eyes scream from exertion ( 2 days; 2 whole days without any rest, without proper sleep for more than a couple of  hours at a stretch). The thought of loud music and smelly overcrowded horny teenagers makes him shudder and he honestly hopes that he doesn’t catch Kai’s illness. He hates falling sick - it’s the biggest pain the ass that can exist in this world. There was a mountain of tissues in Kai’s room that he just cleared out and the poor boy’s eyes were so red, Beomgyu could get nightmares just from that. 

Just as he contemplates taking a nap or getting started on some of his pending assignments, The door to his house bursts open with an impressive force. 

"Ka- ! Where's Kai?"

"Well hello to you too."

"Yeah...hello-listen...i need to find Kai" Taehyun slips into the apartment as easily as it's his own. He cracks his knuckles, not in a way that he wants to hit somebody but more of acting upon a nervousness. He cranes his head around as if to get a glimpse of Kai, like he might be hiding somewhere in the cranny of the house. 

"Kai’s not doing well. He’s asleep. But may I be of your service?" Taehyun squints his eyes at him, and by the movement of his mouth, it's obvious he's gritting his teeth. But Beomgyu cannot help it; Taehyun looks like he's got a body to hide, and Beomgyu feels all his previous tiredness slipping away. 

“What happened? Is he ok?” 

“Well”, beomgyu ponders, glancing at the door of his flatmate’s bedroom.”A cold and sore throat. He did sleep almost the entire day so hoping he gets better.”

“Okay if you say so.” Taehyun says unconvinced. 

“What’s up with you?” It’s then that he notices that Taehyun’s dressed differently. Like he actually made an effort. He’s wearing a crisp white shirt unbottoned just above his chest where a silver chain dangles and his sleeves are rolled up.  He has faded jeans on with deliberate paint splatter to give them a tiny bit of colour. His hair seemed gelled, not in a very fancy way but in a casual i-don’t-care kind of nonchalance which makes him look so good - 

No. Wait. what. 

Taehyun looks at himself, then averts his gaze away, then looks at him again, dawdling at the same spot.

“Spit it out, Kang Taehyun.”

“Ok. Frenemy to frenemy-”

“Please don't call us that.”

“I….I….i have a date today.”

Oh.

Oh. Okay. Beomgyu’s brain going into overdrive and an ugly feeling swirling is in his chest. Almost painful. He tries to push it back in and hopes his voice comes out normal. 

“And….you need Kai because…..?”

“He needs to get me out of there when I give a signal.” 

Beomgyu must have made a confused face because almost immediately Taehyun starts explaining. “It’s a thing that Kai suggested. I didn’t really want to go out with this guy but he said it would be good for me and if within the first half hour, I feel like calling it quits, I could just text me to give a call faking something. But since he’s sick, the plan is not going to work out, so might as well cancel this date-”

Again, Beomgyu doesn’t know where these words that he was suddenly saying were coming from, “I agree. It’s a bad idea, you should probably tell the guy…”

“NO” A blanket wrapped, red eyed Hueningkai stands in the doorway with hair spiked in every existing direction. “I WON’T LET YOU.”

“Kai-”

“Beomgyu hyung will do it.”

“I- WHAT? NO” Him and Taehyun cry in unison. 

“You can’t let a sick man down.”

“Not everything is about you, Hueningkai!” Again Beomgyu and Taehyun cry in unison and look at each other with the same surprised expression.

“Taehyun, you need this.” Hueningkai points out to his friend in a horse, weak pathetic tone. He coughs. “Don’t make me talk please, guys. It hurts so much. Also beomgyu hyung, I’ll ask you another favour” 

This is how a few minutes later, Beomgyu himself is in his bedroom, with a  very curious Kang Taheyun darting his eyes around his safe haven. Taheyun looks almost fascinated, standing in the middle of the room awkwardly, waiting for permission to settle himself on a chair or the bed. 

"Hmm...do you wear makeup?"

He doesn't. Not Beomgyu even, not much. Mostly on stage. And sometimes when he's out clubbing or partying, but only when he's in the mood. When he wants that extra attention; when he's in the mood for a casual make out or hook-up, it helps. Everybody just sees you for your shell anyway. That is what makes you attract them; and once it's over, everything washes out and dies down. He shakes himself out of his thoughts, wondering if Taehyun wants that extra bit today. Would they make out or end up at either of their places by the end of it? Or would Taehyun send an SOS signal and he'll waltz in with an over-the-top scene to create and whisk him out of there. He knows which one he wants, and it doesn't sit well with him.

“You can sit wherever you like, you know.”

Taehyun, as though breaking out of a daze nods his head almost too vigourously but settles himself with utmost care as to be as inconspicuous as possible. 

He opens his cupboard and rummages around trying to remember where he kept his kit; it's a small assortments of just the basics, and a couple of brushes, all stacked in a small cloth pouch that currently for the life of him he cannot find, "Fuck...give me a second here."He glances back at Taehyun, expecting him to grouse about how he's getting late or a general dismissive comment on his god awful memory. 

But Taehyun just sits there comfortably, humming a low tune. He  is looking around the room like it's the most interesting thing to exist and he wants to etch every detail to memory.  "Take your time."

When he's done, his eyes zero back on Beomgyu.

"Never knew you were keen on this sort of a thing..not that I'm judging! I did not mean-"

"Relax. We-" he whips open his tube of concealer and starts dabbing it with his brush, to get the product on; he starts working on Taehyun's face. His skin is quite nice, "need to put our own makeup on for performances. We do get help from fellow students; but since it's a part of being on stage, I figured maybe it's best to learn. So.”

Something flashes past Taehyun's eyes; but it's gone as soon as it's come. He nods at his answer, "Of course. That's...smart. yeah." 

It's new. Having a normal conversation with Taehyun. Applying makeup on him (which is not normal but at least they're not at each other's throats); it's not half bad. A little unnerving as Taehyun's eyes are glued on his face. 

"Your eyelashes are quite…long." He says, sounding unsure.

"That's a compliment?"

"I guess, yeah. Long eyelashes are supposedly pretty."

Did Taehyun just call him pretty? When Taehyun speaks again, Beomgyu’s sure his tone sounds a little croaky, "Don't be all weird now."

"I- wasn't. But who would have thought this day would come? When Kang Taehyun would finally admit to me being hot-"

"Can't you just say thanks and let it go. Don't make me regret it."

"Thanks" He contemplates if he should say something back or let there be silence for a while. He chooses the former; the words are always on the tip of his tongue. "Your eyes are really... big." 

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Just a statement, I suppose." he gives Taehyun an impish grin, but his insides are doing a weird  waltz of his own, a feeling piling upon his throat which he tries to push down unsuccessfully. 

"I know. I know they're big. In fact if you'd said they're pretty. I'd know that too." Beomgyu looks at Taehyun regarding him with a smug smile, arms crossed like challenging him to disagree or state otherwise. But it's true. His eyes are pretty. no, they're beautiful. They were the first thing he noticed about him. His large eyes and the skin underneath, swollen like thick eyebags, but somehow, they make him look soft; almost endearing, taking away from the intensity of his otherwise sharp and large features. The big nose, wide lips, sharp jaw. He's handsome, there's no denying it; actually, it isn't worth mentioning because he's good looking in a very obvious way. And of course, he would have been told so a number of times. 

"What's with you today; you keep phasing out."

"Looks like you always observe me very closely. Are you obsessed with me, Kang Taehyun? Are your eyes always for me?" he teases, dabbling a  brush over his cheeks, to give just a tinge of pink; it has to look natural; soften his sharp features a bit. 

"That's better. Be the obnoxious little shit that you are."

"I'm older than you."

"I stand by my statement.”

“Obnoxious little shit.”

Taehyun giggles.“I like this hyung. I love it when we do our thing, hyung.” 

Beomgyu knows that Taehyun is poking fun at him, but just the way he says ours, like something that only the two of them share makes his insides flutter. Like when Taehyun calls them frenemies; he hates it but he likes that he’s the only one Taehyun calls that. Something only between the two of them

“You…love it?” They are so close. He can see the pores on Taehyun’s face, the iris’s of his eyes enlarging, the sight wetness of his plump limps -  

Taehyun swerves all of a sudden, out of nowhere, his knee collides with Beomgyu's, and the sudden jolt of pain causes his hand to skid, leaving a smudge of eyeshadow on Taehyun's lower lid and across his nose. 

"Fuck. Did that get into your eye?"

"No, no I'm okay. Sorry about that."

"No, I'm sorry, it was my hand-"

"No it was me. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." There must be something in the air, that is meddling with his brain; and apparently Taehyun's too because he refuses to look Beomgyu in the eye. 

"Part your lips for me." Beomgyu demands.

"WHAT!?" Taehyun jerks away, again; almost making the lip gloss fly from Beomgyu's hands and meet its demise; but he steadies the bottle in time, with a sigh of relief. Makeup is expensive; he's got to make every little product last for at least a while. Taehyun's eyes are the size of saucers, and he looks scandalized, "Wha-what...are you -"

"Silly" Beomgyu gestures to the lip gloss, biting down the smile that has begun to form on his lips. “I meant for this."

"Oh, oh yeah. Of course." When he inches closer to apply the product on his lips, the proximity at this point is becoming intolerable. Taehyun also is trying to look anywhere but him,” You said that on purpose didn't you?" Taehyun’s tone is accusatory. 

He chuckles, "I didn't. But let's pretend I did; you'd not believe me anyway...Alright. You're done. Go break some hearts…or a heart." He triumphantly sets the lip gloss beside him, and gives Taehyun a look over as he climbs out of the chair, "Your hair...should we push it back more?" there is a sudden itch to feel Taehyun's hair in his hand. They always look so soft; despite being obviously bleached to death. 

Taehyun shrugs,  "Don't bother, I think this is enough. Uh.. Thanks, Beomgyu.”

"Thanks Beomgyu hyung." he retorts half - heartedly; Taehyun looks amazing; suddenly he's annoyed that he offered help .He pushes the urge to style his hair; it'd be overkill. Taehyun looks too good as is.

"You'll ...you'll do the other thing also right? You'll be there if-?"

"Yup. I got you." 

There's a moment of awkwardness; Taehyun lingers, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Then he quickly asks,

"You play the guitar?"

"And drums, a little flute, and a little bit of keyboards." 

"That's...cool." Silence again.

"Aren't you getting late for your date?" He didn't mean to sound rude; but there is a sourness on his tongue, one that he didn't realise before the words are out and Taehyun blinks at him, taken off guard. Beomgyu feels guilt knocking at his  brain with the look on Taehyun’s face, but the entire situation is making him antsy for a reason he cannot pinpoint, and he needs it to end as soon as possible. 

"Oh, uh..of course, of course" he fumbles, which is such an un-Taehyun thing to do, in fact everything that happened in the span of the last few minutes, have been very un-Taehyun. “I forgot" he laughs awkwardly, "I mean-"

"You forgot?" 

"Don't. I'm going, okay? You...stay close. I mean; what I meant was-"

"Yeah, got you."

"I owe you."

“Don’t I know it.”

He follows Taehyun to the main door and watches him slip out, both of them avoiding eye contact. When Taehyun finally leaves, he lets out a long breath that he didn't know he was holding. His ears are burning; he didn't realise how warm the room had gotten. The main door swings open again and  Taehyun pops his head back in; he yelps in surprise. 

"You cannot, and I mean it when I say this; you cannot come up with any perverted reasons to get me out of there." 

"But-"

"Please. No.”

"You suck the joy out of everything!" Beomgyu replies, grinning, but he knows that it’s half-hearted. 

He will make sure that Kai never hears the end of this.

Technically, in hindsight, he could have just called Taehyun upon his signal and they could have called it a day. But he finds himself in a fried chicken shop next to the cafe where Taehyun has his date, munching down mindlessly all the food in front of him. It’s crowded and the smell of oil and sweat fills the shop. He could have been anywhere else doing anything else but this. And he doesn't know why he chose to be there. How is this any better than being at a party?

A quarter of an hour passes. He starts feeling nervous. He glances at his phone. Nothing.

20 minutes pass. He finishes his plate of chicken, now gulping down his beer.  He spots a junior whom he sees often in the practice room, waiting for his take away. They chat. 

Another 10 minutes pass. Taehyun hasn’t called him yet. Will he? Won’t he? 

He contemplates going away. But he is physically unable to. He checks his phone again and finally decides to do the one thing that he never ever would have done his entire life had this ugly feeling in his chest not made him do so. 

SPYING.

He spies on the two boys as inconspicuously as possible from the large windows. 

Taehyun looks like he is having a good time. He is smiling, shark teeth on full display, crows feet forming around his eyes from the way he smiles. Guess it is going well. Taehyun doesn't need him there and he feels absolutely stupid to have agreed to the whole thing. 

He decides to go back. 

It’s almost when he is about to reach his apartment that he receives a message from Taehyun,

Where are you?

Now he decides to text ?

~~ Almost home. It seemed like you were having fun. So…..

It wasn’t bad. Better than I expected.

~~ Great.

So I ended it myself instead of trying to get you to make some shit excuse. 

Beomgyu stalled in his step. 

~~ Why wud u do that? 

What do you mean?

~~ If it was going well. Why wud u do dat?

Beomgyu waited and waited for Taehyun’s reply. Eh saw the three dots forming and disappearing over and over again. And relief spread in his body. What did that even mean? He was scared to find out. 

Taehyun chose to ignore the question altogether 

I’m almost home too. Where are you? I can’t seem to find you. 

But Beomgyu did. He was coming from the opposite direction, which made sense since the road Beomgyu chose was the one without streetlights. 

~~ I’m rite in front of u

What? No, you aren’t. 

Beomgyu jogged all the way to Taehyun’s silhouette but he shouldn’t have. As soon as Taehyun laid eyes on him, which for sure must have seemed like Beomgyu appeared out of nowhere, he screamed and almost toppled backwards. 

Beomgyu grabbed his arm and pulled him towards himself to stop him from falling, which led him to be very close to Beomgyu. So close that he could see the golden circles around Taheyun’s irises. He never noticed them before. How would he have though, they had never been this close before. 

Speaking of….

“Fuck, you scared me, Beomgyu! Fuck. You appeared out of nowhere and it’ so fucking dark.” He made no attempt to release his arm from Beomgyu’s hold. 

Beomgyu’s lips split into a wide grin,”Kang Taehyun, are you afraid of the dark?” 

Taehyun's eyes widened and under the golden streetlight, they looked so sparkly and so beautiful. Taehyun releases himself from Beomgyu’s grip, stumbles backwards, scoffing. 

“As if.” 

“If you say so. “So what are you doing here ?”

“I live here.”

“Oh is that right genius? I didn’t know that.”

Taehyun rolls his eyes at him. 

“I meant. I meant your date…if it was going so well, why did you leave?” Beomgyu didn’t even know why he was asking this or what response he was looking for. 

“We…just didn’t click.” 

“I thought you said he was nice.”

“He was.”

“So, then?”

“Well, he wasn’t what I was looking for.” 

“What were you looking for?” Beomgyu blurts before his brain could even process what he was saying.

Taehyun looked at him for a few seconds, and he bit his lower lip. Beomgyu’s brain couldn’t help but go Wow at that.

“Just drop it, will you?”

Beomgyu raised his palms, surrendering. “Sure, sure.” 

“Sorry for wasting your time though.” Taehyun said as they got into the elevator. 

“Wasn’t a waste. I wasn’t planning on doing anything, anyway” Beomgyu mumbled. 

Taehyun looks at him with a small smile playing on his lips.

“What?” 

“If the elevator was working on the day you saw me dozing off outside my apartment, we wouldn’t have met.”

Beomgyu wondered why he was thinking about that now. “I’m pretty sure you would have found a way to enter my life to torment me.” 

Taehyun's smile becomes wider,”Yeah I’m pretty sure too.” 

When the elevator opens to his floor, Taehyun stalls for moments as though he wants to say something but then slides out quickly. He gives a last small wave to Beomgyu, mouthing bye and then he is gone. Beomgyu releases a breath that he has been holding for a while. His hands are sweating and his heart is beating at a thousand beats a minute. He buries his face in his hands and tries to calm himself. This was the weirdest evening he’s ever had.

***

A searing pain travels through his calves, his ankle throbs with the aftermath of the sudden twist. He bites his bottom lip hard in frustration and tastes iron. So close, he was so close. He somehow fucks it up every time. 

"Great practice, guys" Yeonjun announces, clapping enthusiastically and bounding towards his bag. "Beomgyu, great form. You almost got it." Yeonjun's voice travels across the clamour of the studio, it falters, and Beomgyu feels misery pricking at every inch of his skin. "Please don't beat yourself up about it."

Almost. But is that enough? What if such an incident occurs when he is on stage. He looks at Yeonjun and offers him a forced smile, "I'm alright. Why don't you go ahead, I'll join you guys."

"Okay, you have to agree. You're insanely good."He whips his head to find Taehyun, arms crossed, leaning against the west wall and regarding him with a lopsided grin. His bag hung across his shoulder.How many times has Taehyun been here as he claims he has been? If he were in a different mood, Beomgyu would have barked a comment about how taehyun was stalking him, or being obsessed with him, but today was not it. 

"I'm not in the mood for your sass Taehyun. Not now." He pulls his hair into a ponytail again, gathering all the hair that had slipped through while practicing, contemplating whether he should stay back and practice more. His ankle seems to have become sorer. Hopefully, it's not a sprain, that would take at least a couple of days off practice and the showcase was in a week. He cannot afford that. 

From the corner of his eyes, he finds Taehyun's grin falling off his face and expression becoming serious. He shuffles his feet before saying, "I- I meant that. Honestly. For all that gloating-. I mean you're actually as good as you say you are." 

Beomgyu chuckles bitterly, despite himself, “Looks like you weren't watching as closely or you would have seen me fucking up-"

"I did. And you didn't fuck up. Could have happened to anybody."

"But it happened to me."

"Is your ankle okay?" 

"What?"

"Is your ankle okay? You shouldn't put pressure on it. I bet it hurts like a bitch. You should treat it with some ice."

Beomgyu leans on the wall and rotates his foot, clockwise; Taehyun looks at it with furrowed brows and then backs up at him, "I can give you a piggy back ride."

"What?"

"Seriously, did you hurt your foot or your ear? I said I'll give you a piggyback."

He doesn't know what to say and Taehyun is looking at him, half-awkward, half-expectant; like he is entering new waters, poking around to check if it's okay to settle or to throw hands and run back out.  He's offering to help  Beomgyu out without an ounce of cheek, well okay, a tiny little bit but Kang Taehyun without sass is not Kang Taehyun. 

When he doesn't reply, Taehyun's expression turns so soft, that for a second the boy in front of him is someone else altogether, "Sorry I snapped. I just wanted to help you. “Consider it like a thank you, for the other night? Ok?”

He tightens his hold around Taehyun's shoulders. He hesitates a little before saying, "I'm sorry for snapping too."

 His mind wanders, for no particular reason, off Taehyun drunk, tears spilling down his large eyes that looked as beautiful as ever despite being glazed with the wetness, the little scrunch of his nose; then his finger tracing patterns down the front of Beomgyu's T shirt as he sniffled miserably, trying to catch his breath. His cheek had felt so soft on his shoulder.

Honestly Beomgyu doesn’t know what to make of it anymore.They’ve had normal conversations, he’s seen him vulnerable; almost crying, and now Taehyun is giving him a piggyback ride because he's in pain as a thank you for that strange night days ago, and to top it all  he smells like warm vanilla. Their bodies, pressed together, smooth palm pressing into the underside of his knee, sometimes inching a little upwards as he adjusts them. He is suddenly drowsy as he feels all his muscles relaxed. Taehyun handles him like he weighs nothing and even with loud voices of Hueningkai and Yeonjun around them, he finds himself dozing off. 

Albeit for a couple of minutes, because he is woken by Taehyun's gentle voice,”Did you fall asleep?” beomgyu opens his eyes to find that they have fallen behind considerably with the rest of their friends and it’s only the two of them. “No, I- yes. Kind of. I’m sorry, I’m really tired.”

“It’s alright.” Taehyun says in the same gentle voice. Beomgyu can feel his pulse speeding up. And the way Taehyun smells, or holds him up isn’t helping either. They fall into silence. Not very comfortable but not awkward either. 

Before he can say anything, Taehyun speaks again, "You don't have to be sorry. It takes two to tango. We can both say sorry or...we can just cancel it out. And not apologize. You know, since it’s our thing"

"But you apologised. So I have too as well."

"I’d rather you let me help you.” 

“Thank you.” it scares Beomgyu of how much he actually means it. The silence after that is much more comfortable. 

“So, are you going to tell me what I did that night?”

“Hmm….which one?”

“The night you…umm… dragged me and Kai from the party and you know…helped us get..into bed.”

“Get into bed?’ Beomgyu bites his cheek to not let laughter escape him. It’s so fun teasing Taehyun, and watching as his ears turn a bright adorable shade of pink.

“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!” Taehyun cries embarrassed. 

Beomgyu bursts out laughing. "Forget it."

"Are you really going to be like this? I'm going to dump your ass right here, I'm not even kidding, hyung." But Beomgyu knows he is not going to do that.

"You're that desperate to know? Okay. You did aegyo for me. You kept on singing the baby shark song on repeat, and did a cute little dance number."

"Bullshit. You're lying." But there is panic in his voice and Beomgyu cannot help but continue this ruse, trying to keep a straight face. 

"You said that because I said your teeth are like a shark's-"

"No I didn't!"

"Okay."

"Show me a video then. There is no way you didn't take a video of me to shove it in my face for blackmail. 

Busted. "Fine I was making it up."

"You can get off my back. I hope you get hit by a truck, you monster." Taehyun's hands under his knees that were firmly holding him up are retracted. Beomgyu squeals in surprise and desperately wraps them around Taehyun's waist to not slip off his back, "No! Hold me up, please! It takes a few seconds; and Taehyun's hand are back in their position; Beomgyu relaxes in his hold, and since he cannot help himself anymore, he says,

"But you're cute, Taehyun. You're really cute."

He feels Taehyun terse up and he is suddenly anxious that he said something wrong. But all Taehyun whispers is "I hate you."

"Hm...but that's not what you said the other night- hey…..did you just bite my hand?!"

"Suffer bitch."

"I'm your Hyung, what a brat!"

"Suffer bitch hyung."

***

Beomgyu surprisingly finds himself in front of Taehyun’s dorm once again. He half expects Jimin to answer the door, but It’s Taehyun who does. Hair unruly, eyes droopy, wearing a tank top, that reveals a good portion of his chest and completely bare arms. In short, nothing new. Also, its only 8am in the morning on a Saturday. 

Taehyun echoes the same thing, looking at Beomgyu confused. Beomgyu is all dressed up. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go to the amusement park with me.”

Taehyun's eyes widened and he turned to look back, as though Beomgyu could be talking to someone other than him. “You’re talking to me?” he asked incredulously, pointing a finger into his own chest. 

“Pretty sure I’m not here to ask Jimin hyung this question.” 

“You couldn't if you wanted to. He goes over to his Boyfriend’s place over the weekend.” 

“Why would I want to ask Jimin?”

“Yeah. Why would you?” Taehyun scrunches his eyebrows, rubs his eyes with the palm of his hands, “Give me a second. I just woke up and you’re not making any sense.” 

“Can I come in at least?” 

Taehyun moves aside to let Beomgyu enter. He takes a seat on the couch while Taehyun makes himself some tea. 

“You prefer tea to coffee?” Beomgyu didn’t know anyone like that. 

“Coffee is too bitter for me.”

Cute. 

“Umm…ok. So let me begin from the start. Since I want to go to the amusement park, and none of our other friends are available at the moment, I figured I'd give you a try.”

“Oh, how flattering. I’m your 4th choice.”

“Do you have plans today?”

“To go to the library.” 

“So, no plans. Also you’re my fifth choice. I asked Heeseung before you.” If Boemgyu was being honest, he had actually asked a couple others from the dance team and everyone had other plans. He kept that information to himself, seeing that he wouldn’t be helping his case. Also because, it’s not like they hung out. Beomgyu had just decided to shoot his shot. 

Taehyun rolls his eyes. “That doesn’t make me particularly want to accompany you, you know.” he smirks into his cup, then suddenly comes to a realization. “Oh, Hey sorry. Would you like some tea?” 

“Umm. Sure. Thanks.” Taehyun gives him a cup and sits next to Beomgyu, their arms almost brushing. It reminds Beomgyu of the night Taehyun was drunk and had hugged him. It’s unfair that Taehyun  doesn’t even remember any of it while Beomgyu has the night tattooed on his brain. “Say that I do. Will you stop pestering about how I owe you?”

“Hey, I’m offering you an opportunity to accompany me for a hell of a day. You don’t know how fun it can be to hang out with me. ”  

“Aren’t you a little too old to go to an amusement park?”

“Excuse me? Old? One can never ever be old enough for an amusement park. It’s the prime location for dates.” 

Taehyun looks at him, tilts his head and studies him, “Hyung, are you saying-” 

“Wh-what. No. I’m not saying that. It was just an example...Jesus. Kang Taheyun.” Taehyun laughs out loudly, as Beomgyu feels his ears on fire. 

“Fine. I accept your invitation. When do we leave?” 

Beomgyu waits around in Taehyun’s house while he make himself “presentable” as Taehyun called it, and that involves a short sleeved semi-fitted striped t shirt which emphasizes his broad shoulders and super baggy cargo-like jeans. He slung a cross body satchel and wore chunky trainers. It was ….different from how he generally dressed up. Beomgyu raised an eyebrow at him.

“What? I’m trying to try …um…new styles.”

“Why? You got someone to impress,” beomgyu asked, trying to sound nonchalant about it. He didn’t know if he really wanted an answer to that. The same feelings from nights ago were clawing at him. 

“Shut up. I don’t. ” Taehyun mumbled, as finished tying his laces. “Are we going or what?” 

Beomgyu already knows which rides he gets on and which he passes. So, he doesn’t expect to be standing in front of “THE ABYSS” alongside a super thrilled Taehyun who looks at the roller coaster with sparkly eyes as though he’s completely in love. He tries to slip away when Taheyun grabs his hand with an iron grip. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m not getting on that.”

“Yes, you are.” 

“Over my dead body.” 

“Come on, Beomgyu, be a good sport now. What’s the point of coming here if you don’t ride the roller coaster?” Taehyun grins at him, quite evilly, he should add.  

“Fuck off.” 

“Come on. Fine, I won’t make you sit in the first row.”

“YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO MAKE ME SIT IN THE FIRST ROW!”

Taehyun is stubborn, and he gets his way. “I am going to resent you for the rest of my life.” Beomgyu tells him as they near the seats.

“I’ll live with it, you drama queen.” Taehyun has the audacity to reply. 

When they are strapped in, Beomgyu takes a deep breath and exhales. His nerves act up. “Hyung, relax. It’s going to be fun. Here, take my hand.” Beomgyu watches as Taheyun grabs and curls his palms around Beomgyu’s in a tight grip. Strong and warm. All his nerves act up again, but for a different reason. Before the rides start, Taehyun winks at him. So, since for the rest of the ride, he has his focus on something else entirely, he actually enjoys it. The buoyancy against his body, the cold blast of air, the immense rush of adrenaline. 

Taehyun however is as white as a ghost. His hair stands upright, rather comically over his forehead, and as soon as they are strapped out, he rushes to puke into the nearby bushes. 

“Seriously, for all the shit you gave me, look at you now. Aren’t you supposed to be used to this?” 

“Who says I’ve been on a rollercoaster like this one before. It’s my first time too.” He giggles weakly. “I didn't want to do it alone.” 

Unbelievable. “You moron. You could’ve told me.”

“Then you would have never agreed to get on it.” It’s the truth. He couldn’t believe Taehyun’s audacity. And his genius.”But you had fun, didn’t you?Don’t lie.” 

“Yeah…okay. I did.” 

“Should we ride it a second time?”

Beomgyu physically drags a laughing Taehyun away from the ride. 

Truth be told, Beomgyu has more fun than he thought he would. Taehyun is a sport and literally tries every single ride. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Taehyun this excited ever. He looks like a child who discovered that candies existed. They’re on the ferris wheel, which Beomgyu thinks is a waste of time to ride but Taehyun, who apparently has made his mind to not miss out on anything, has obviously dragged Beomgyu- so here they are, looking at the facade of buildings that Beomgyu has never seen in his life, while Taehyun sits opposite him, his eyes blatantly on Beomgyu. 

“So…are we going to talk about why you really wanted to come here?” Taehyun asks him, as he stuffs cotton candy in his mouth. A little piece gets stuck on the side of his lip, bright pink with the ridiculous bunny-eared headband he is wearing and his large doe eye with which he stares at Beomgyu, Beomgyu feels the kind of way- the heart lurching, ears engulfing in flames kind of way- that he immediately has to look away.

“D-don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“You’ve been either irritable or completely out of it for the past few days. You didn’t come out of your room even once when we were watching KUNG FU PANDA 4. You’ve been quieter than usual. Calm even. I had to ask Kai if you were on drugs or something.”

“What the hell, Kang Taehyun!”

“Just saying.”

“Are you saying you missed me?” He counter-attacks, using Taehyun’s tactics. 

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, right. Missed picking on me, I bet.” 

“Isn’t that supposed to be our thing?” 

Beomgyu finally looks at Taehyun again, and sees a gleam in his eye, his teeth biting his lower lip, to stop himself from smiling. Beomgyu has a sudden urge to punch him and kiss him, at the same time- and he is left frazzled by both. He takes a deep breath. “I swear to god, Kang Taehyun.” he manages to say after a few seconds. 

“Hyung. Talk to me. Frenemy to Frenemy. I am a problem solver.” 

“Please stop calling us that. And are you ? Have you talked to your parents yet?”

Taehyun turns away,”That’s different.” 

“How so?” 

“Don’t change the subject.” 

“What are you so scared of?”

Taehyun lets out a deep breath, “What if it’s a huge mistake?”

“What if it isn’t?” 

“It’s not that….simple.”

The ferris wheel is so frustratingly slow and Beomgyu can feel taehyun gets antsy. So he relents,”I….don’t think I’ll ever be good enough. And before you say anything, I know it’s stupid and probably not true. But some days, it feels like, it is the truth. Only some people are born with natural talent, others have to work hard to reach there and keep working hard to keep reaching. And despite everything, sometimes it’s still not enough. What if I’ll never be enough?” 

Beomgyu had never said it out loud. He felt it, multiple times, it gnawed at him, but he never formed these emotions into words. And now, thirty feet up in the air, with his frenemy, so as to speak, he blurted it all out, and the weirdest part of it was that he was glad he did. He felt ten times lighter. And somehow, he knew Taehyun would get it. Would get him. 

Taehyun looked at him, in surprise first, then his eyes softened, and with the piece of cotton candy still stuck to the side of his mouth, he looked ridiculously adorable. “Hyung”

“Yeah. So. I was just having a…one of those days.” 

“Hyung. I-I….cannot tell you not to feel like that. Who am I to even, No one can in fact. But….I’ve seen you. And you…you” Taehyun turns away and stares out at the scenery, avoiding eye contact, as it continues,” take my breath away. And I know there are others like me. You have to know that.” Then he turns to face Beomgyu again,” And you know, you’re so young! You have a whole life ahead of you! You-” 

Beomgyu is looking at him with a shit eating grin,” Kang Taehyun, do I take your breath away?”

“I knew you would be an asshole about it.” 

“I cannot believe this. You’ve secretly been obsessed with me all this time?” Beomgyu teases, he knows its not true but the look on Taehyun’s face is priceless. He looks like he wants to disappear into thin air. 

“Great, this is what I get for being honest. And supportive.” 

“It’s okay Taehyun, I can keep your secret.”

“Fuck you.”

Beomgyu laughs and Taehyun joins him and they don’t stop until they reach the landing. 

“Thank you.” Beomgyu whispers as soon as they are out and making their way to the leftover rides. 

“You’re welcome” Taehyun replies,”hey, are you hungry?” 

And because it’s been bothering him for a while, Beomgyu reaches out to wipe the piece of cotton candy across Taehyun’s face. 

“Yes.” 

Taehyun blinks at him in shock, touching his cheek when Bomgyu just wiped it, and then turns away quickly, practically sprinting away. “Come on then”  he calls Beomgyu, but doesn’t turn back to look at him. Beomgyu curses at himself and his stupidity before sprinting after him. 

On the bus ride back, however, they sit in comfortable silence, Beomgyu looks out the window at the setting sun, feeling happier than he has ever felt in the past few months, and Taehyun beside him, with his earphones on and eyes closed, seeming to just enjoy whichever song is playing at the moment. 

“About what you asked me before” Taehyun’s voice makes Beomgyu whip his head towards him. He has removed his earphones and is twiddling them between his fingers. 

“About?”

“You know, about the thing you asked me on the giant wheel..”

“You don’t owe me an explanation.” Beomgyu says but cannot hide the disappointment in his voice. 

Taehyun blurts,“It took me a long time to convince myself that this is what I want, so now the thought that I will have to convince my parents too, makes me think…..I’ll fail. That I won’t be able to do it. That it won’t be enough.” 

“Are you close?”

“Hmm…what?”

“Are you close to your parents?”

“Yes…yes I am. I have an older sister, so I’m kind of like the …you know, the baby of the family.”

“Baby of the family.” Beomgyu repeats, trying to contain his glee. He would never have expected that. Or maybe he would have. Taehyun had the incredible talent of being really cute sometimes. 

“Shut up.”

Beomgyu bit  his lip, thinking. Finally he said,”For what its worth, I think you can be pretty convincing. You convinced me to get on that god awful roller coaster."

“Beomgyu, you knew you didn’t stand a chance against me.”

“Don’t flatter yourself. And it’s hyung for you.”

“Pshh. Plus, it’s a whole different  thing altogether.”

“Did you at least have fun today?” Beomgyu asks him

Taehyun shrugs nonchalantly, “It was alright. Can’t complain.” He smiles mischievously at Beomgyu and Beomgyu’s heart almost leaps out of his chest. He turns away quickly, not ready to accept what really is happening to him. Taehyun is off limits. He can’t, he shouldn’t be feeling like this. It isn’t right. 

“Beomgyu? Are you ok? I was only kidding, I didn’t think you would be that offended! I had a great time, I really did.”

Beomgyu looked at him again, trying to sound snarky but ending up saying almost in a whisper, “I told you so.”

Taehyun scrunches his forehead at him, “You’re acting weird.”

“You’re acting weird.”

He’s aware of how intently Taehyun is scrutenizing him and he really cannot take it anymore.  He tries to change the subject. “You never told me you ended your date early the other day.”

Now it’s Taehyun’s turn to go pink. “What’s it to you?” He mumbles.

“Because you drag me into this thing and you don’t even tell me what really happened. Okay.”Beomgyu looks at him pointedly.

Taehyun turns from pink to red, glances in front of him, then says forcefully, but not unkindly,”If you stop bothering me, perhaps we will be able to make it to our stop.” He sprints away, again and leaves Beomgyu to run after him, again. “Kang Taehyun, I swear to god!”

“I don’t understand you.” Beomgyu tells him as they walk back towards the student housing building.

“Good. Let’s leave it at that.”

“Another thing you owe me for.”

“What were you planning to do anyway if I had called you?” Taehyun asks him, half curious, half exasperated. 

“Well……off the top of my head, as I was creating scenarios where I really embarrass you-”

“I would have expected no less.”

“Claim that your pet was dying and you really needed to be there-”

“That’s really evil! Also raises a bunch of questions, and makes me look bad, not embarrassed!!"

“Pretend to not know you were on a date and joined you -”

“Oh my god! I would have loved to see that. But then, if you had joined us, that would have defeated the purpose of the whole thing-”

“Claim that you were cheating on me-”

“You seem to be hell bent on character assassination!. Also, who would be in their right mind to cheat on you.” 

Beomgyu stopped dead in his tracks. “What?”

“I-I- well, what I meant was, I’m not that kind of a person okay?” Taehyun tries to sound dismissive but Beomgyu can hear a strange emotion in his tone. “I wouldn’t do that - to..to you. Since we are frenemies-”

“I hate that word.” Beomgyu says wincing  which makes Taehyun laugh out loudly. “Isn’t that why you keep saying it? You like to see me in pain.”

Taehyun only laughs harder. Fuck. And Beomgyu can’t help but join him.

“Are you keeping that?” He asks as they reach Taehyun’s floor, pointing  to the headband in his hand.

“Umm…yes? I won it, I should get to keep it.” He says in a matter-of-factly way. Tucking it away under his arm protectively. 

“Okay, okay, I wasn’t gonna take it away from you. It suits you.” 

“No, it doesn’t” taehyun mumbles, as he exits the elevator, “See you later- what are you doing?”

“What? I’m seeing you at your door.”

“Why?”

Why? Because….because..

“Having a tough time seeing me leave, hyung? Are you gonna miss me till the next time we see each other?” Taehyun smiles at him mischievously again. 

“Shut up. You wish!”

Though…with his heart thrumming exceptionally fast, Beomgyu knows it might just be true. 

***

“Heard you went to the amusement park with Taehyun last weekend” Kai says, in an accusatory tone as soon as Beomgyu enters the house. 

“Umm…I did, yeah. You were away on a field trip and Yeonjun and Soobin Hyung had a bunch of assignments to catch up on….and I really needed to escape–what? ” 

Kai narrows his eyes at him. “What is your game plan here? Are you friends now, you hang out together ? You don't hate him anymore.”

“I never hated him! Why does everyone think that?” 

“Because you always said it?”

“No, I didn’t! And I thought you wanted him and I to get along and now that we kind of are, you have a problem.”

“I don’t have a problem. It’s better for me if two of my best friends are also friends.”

“We are “frenemies, that’s what Taehyun says. Though I hate that word.”  

Kai regards him, still with narrow eyes. 

“Spit it out Hueningkai.” 

“Nothing! Be nice to him, okay? He can be more sensitive than he seems.”

“Hey! I’m sensitive too. Do you say that to him as well?”

“hmm…I don’t have to. He knows.” 

Beomgyu feels his heart flutter. Fuck. “Oh. Okay. I see.” He says trying to sound nonchalant. “If you’re done, I’m going to my room.” 

Beomgyu stares at the ceiling and then his phone, shuffles in his bed, stares at the ceiling again, tries counting sheep (how the hell does that one even work?), but he just can't seem to fall asleep. He's tired as hell, but thoughts continue whirring in his head. And that's not even the most unsettling  part. The most frustrating part is that they're all about Taehyun. Taehyun's crinkled eyes when he laughed too hard on HueningKai's joke at lunch, Taehyun's lips that formed a fierce pout as be tried to stuff a mouthful of his chicken, Taehyun's hair that waved softly and then splayed splayed against his forehead, when he exited his building late in the evening.  Beomgyu stared for too long, but averted his eyes and sprinted in the opposite direction just in case  Taehyun noticed him, despite the fact that they were both going towards the same apartment building. 

They've never walked back home together before. It would have been strange to do it this time. He grabs a spare pillow and smashes it into his face, stomps the heels of his feet on the bed, almost throwing a fit. How did he let it come to this?And worst of all….if Taehyun comes to know…he is never ever going to let Beomgyu live this down. Ever. Beomgyu shudders at the thought. 

But then again…there could be the possibly of...

....no, right? 

Never in a million years, right? 

Well, he’s never going to know because he’s sure as hell never going to tell Taehyun how he feels. He’s just going to pretend everything is normal, he’s normal and then maybe these feelings will go away. He just has been on the down low for a while. 

But that has never been possible, has it?

The coming Friday is Soobin’s moving day - because apparently asking Yeonjun to move in with him turned into Soobin moving into Yeonjun’s, since he, unlike Soobin, didn’t live with roommates. Beomgyu has to suffer through an entire morning of taheyun in a sleeveless T shirt, his muscles flexing sinfully as he helps Soobin with boxes, carrying them with unfair ease to and fro from the apartment to Soobin’s car (his parents’ which he just borrowed for for the weekend for the move).  And when he’s sweaty, Beomgyu has to avoid hyperventilating because it is too much. He would have fully escaped from this torture, but he couldn’t do that to his friends, plus he actually was happy that they were able to do something as a group since their clashing schedules and term papers these days didn’t allow them to ever have regular movie nights. 

So, in the evening, at Yeonjun’s house, with still sealed boxes littered around the house, they gather in front of the run down TV to put on a movie. He is ushered to sit beside Taheyun with probably a centimeter of distance between them. Taehyun whispers as soon as the opening credits roll in, 

“What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?” Beomgyu replies, not looking at him. He can feel their arms almost touching.

“You’ve not passed a snide comment all day. Are you okay?”

This makes him whip his head towards the younger boy who genuinely looks worried. 

Well, I’ve been distracted. Beomgyu wants to say, but instead,

“I don’t understand what you guys take me for, it’s a problem if I’m snarky and it’s a problem if I’m not.” Beomgyu says, realising that he sounds frustrated. 

Taehyun looks down at his hand and  twirls his can of sprite between them,” Thought it was our thing.” he mumbles.

“Thought you didn’t like it.”

“I like that it’s ours.”

No, no, no. he can’t get away with saying things like this. And , oh…he looks really gutted. Beomgyu hates seeing him like this. And he hates that he hates it. 

“Fine, Kang Taehyun, I’ll keep on trying to find ways to rile you up. Does that make you happy?”

“Absolutely thrilled.” Taehyun replies with a satisfied toothy grin. 

“You’re an absolute brat, you know that?”

“Anything for you, hyung. Also, you think I didn’t notice the way you kept noticing my arms the entire day?”

Beomgyu understands what the two words sweet torture really mean. “Oh, please don’t flatter yourself! Just shut up and watch the movie, you imp.”

“Can you guys keep it down for one fucking moment?!!” 

***

From the corner of his eye, Beomgyu observes Yeonjun giggling into his phone, writing swiftly messages and deeply engrossed in just whatever conversation that is happening. As usual he is in the studio, and they are taking a short break in which Beomgyu texts his mom, who is only too excited to be at the showcase and it only ties his stomach into knots. His parents have always been pretty chill about his career choices and sexuality, which makes him somehow more inclined to be better and work harder. This line of thought automatically takes him to Taehyun and his dilemma and this newfound unwavering concern for him.

To be honest though, every chain of thought kind of leads him to Taehyun now. He can at least admit that to himself. 

Speaking of the devil, He receives a text unexpectedly from Taehyun,

Are you at practice?

~~ Yes, why ?

I was just at your place. Didn’t see you.

Beomgyu decides to tease Taehyun, as he generally teases Beomgyu,

~~ Were you hoping to see me?

He sees three dots, forming and un forming for a while until-

No. Why would I?

~~ sounded like it. Also we text now?

We've texted before

~~   Out of necessity.

Should I stop? Also this is necessary 

~~ Like you could stop.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were flirting with me. 

Beomgyu drops his phone because his hands seem to have become jelly. Yeonjun looks up from his phone, as well as his other team members glance in his direction. He shakes his head at them to convey that nothing’s wrong. Yeonjun raises an eyebrow pointedly at him before going back to his phone. Beomgyu watches his eyebrows furrow as he types something furiously on his phone. He goes back to his. 

~~ But u knw better so.

Actually there was something i did want to talk to you about. 

~~ I’m going to be here a while. I’ll come to the shop later if you’re der?

Cool.

Beomgyu smiles despite himself. His insides were buzzing. He was texting Taehyun now. Wow, what had the times come to. 

Taehyun was busy on his laptop, but his head whips towards the door as Beomgyu enters. Beomgyu is surprised Taehyun didn’t get whiplash from that sudden movement. He greets Taehyun with a small wave and a small smile, trying hard to get his heart to stop thumping loudly. He is embarrassed for himself. He spent this entire time disliking the boy in front of him, and now he was getting light headed just looking at him. 

“You came!” Taehyun says, sounding surprised. 

“I told you I would.” Beomgyu replies, slightly offended. 

“I know, I know. Come here, I have to show you something.” 

Sometimes Beomgyu wonders if he’d tried to be nicer to Taehyun, could he have had a chance with him? But then, it’s not like Taehyun never fanned the flames of their dynamic? He walks towards Taehyun who is concentrating on something again at the screen, biting on his lower lip and oh…Beomgyu gets goosebumps. 

“So….Kai told me you had asked him to help you with producing a track for your solo. And he…well he did most of it okay? I just tweaked it a little, and kind of as he puts it, not me, gave it soul. It was already great to begin with, you and him, you’d already done a great job, I just…it was an honour more than anything…to help with the track that you’re going to be using-”

This was something Beomgyu thought he would never have experienced in his life. Taehyun was blabbering, and he realised that he could recognise that Taehyun was nervous. He couldn’t help but grin. 

“You’re blabbering, Taehyun.”

“I’m…what…no…I…oh god. Just listen to it okay?” Taehyun hands him earphones. Their fingers brush as Beomgyu grabs them from his hand and can feel jolts of electricity shoot in his nerves. Taehyun draws his hands back swiftly, like he felt them too. 

As if. Beomgyu quietly puts the earphones on and waits for Taehyun to press play.

Maybe it’s at that moment that Beomgyu really falls. Embarrassingly, walls tearing down, like a force suddenly transporting him to a different dimension, like a transcendent feeling of this realization of how much. Taehyun looks at him with wide eyes, curious, nervous, hesitant. Pleading. 

“Taehyun….I-”

“You like it?”

Beomgyu had heard the track before. He had heard it when he laid the foundation to it, he had heard it when Kai honed it, but now…Normally, he’d be annoyed because - wow..another thing Kang Taehyun is good at. But he felt a swell of pride in his chest, and he felt he could cry at any moment; there was beauty in it that was inexplicale. It took his breath away. 

You take my breath away. 

And Taehyun took his breath away. 

“Hyung?” Taehyun calls him hesitantly, “If you think it can better, I can most definitely-”

“It’s perfect,” Beomgyu replies breathily. “Thank you” he adds as he gathers himself. 

“Oh well-it was nothing…-”

“No. Thank you. I…I love it.”

The smile that Taehyun breaks into makes Beomgyu weak and he is already feeling like jelly.  He needs to sit down. Or get the hell out of there. Or take Taehyun in arms and hold him for eternity. In the end he chooses to lean onto the counter awkwardly and blurts, “You’ll come to the showcase right?”

Normally, every performer gets a maximum of 2 guests they can invite apart from family. It’s a small event albeit important. The small audience makes it more intimate, hence more nerve wracking. As he said it, a flare of regret flashed inside of him- he didn’t have seats to spare, 1 went to Hueningkai and the other was for an underclassman whom he knew, from being one of the very firsts people he got acquainted with when he started school.

“Oh shit, I-”

“I am. Yeonjun hyung already invited me. Plus a few other members of your dance team, but I didn’t need them so-”

“You know other members of the dance team?”

Taehyun laughed,”Is that a surprise? I told you I’m there often.”

“The guy you went on a date with…was he someone I knew?” Beomgyu knew he shouldn’t be asking this, shouldn’t be feeling like this. He thought he would actually turn green with how he was feeling. 

“Nope. I don’t think you know him. Or maybe you do..”Taehyun pauses for a second, his ears seem to turn visibly red,”Kai tells me that you know half the music department.” 

“What can I say? Everyone loves me.”

“I for one cannot see why.” Taehyun replies, smirking and Beomgyu knows he’s pulling his leg but a pain shoots through his heart like an arrow piercing and though he never had his hopes up, he feels them dropping a hundred feet below sea level. 

“I’m going to let that one go only because you quite literally have changed my life with this track.” he counters, trying to sound nonchalant. 

“I have?” Taehyun says, his big beautiful eyes sparkling. 

“Don’t let it get to your head, though.”

“You know me, that never happens.” Taehyun replies with a grin. 

Beomgyu doesn’t want to leave. But it’s not as though he can just stay back and just look at Taehyun as he sometimes would like to do. Plus he has this overwhelming admiration and adoration bubbling inside, he’s scared that he might just do something stupid. Like grab Taehyun's face and kiss him. 

“Do I have something on my face?” Taehyun asks him in mock innocence, before continuing,” Apart from handsomeness of course." 

“That’s not even a word, Taehyun,” Beomgyu replies though he’s smiling so widely that it’s embarrassing.

“Like you would know.”

“If you make up stupid words, you lose your street cred, you know.”

“My street cred?”

“As a nerd.”

“I’ll risk it.” 

“You are very pretty.” It escapes before Beomgyu can stop himself, and he can see Taehyun’s smile drop and his eyes widen. In shock? In horror? Beomgyu really doesn’t want to know. “Ok…umm…so I'm gonna go. I’ll leave you to it. And uh..thank you. Again.” he escapes as Taehyun's mouth hangs half open with the same expression and before he can say anything else. If Beomgyu is up for heartbreak, then he’s going to make sure he’s dragging it as long as he can.

***

There is a knock on beomgyu’s door and he ushers whoever it is, in. 

“Woah…it’s pretty dark in here. What are you doing without your lights on?” 

Taehyun starts fumbling for the switch but Beomgyu squeals, “No, don’t!”

“Why? What are you doi- Oh, ohh.” He can hear the panic in Taehyun’s voice, “shit..I-I’m gonna go-“

“You idiot. Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m just vibing.” Taehyun lets out a sigh of relief and approaches his bed, sitting on the edge. The faint delicious smell of wet soil wades in, its wafting through the air like the hustling rain thumping on the ground and his windows. The sound is beautiful. He lies back against his bead listening. From Taehyun’s silhouette it seems like he’s a stone statue, so still and…he’s looking at him. He’s been looking at him all this while. 

“What?”

“What does that mean? You’re vibing?”

“I mean…this helps me. Darkness, the rain, when I want to get inspired. Write something. Or when I’m just…a little exhausted.” 

“Is it helping now?”

“You’re here.” He’s smiling, he realises, “I’m kind of distracted.”

“Told you, you can never ignore my presence.” Taehyun says in his classic smug way, which makes Beomgyu laugh. Then taehyun adds, timidly and much more serious, “Maybe I should leave-“

“No, no, stay. It’s a good kind of distraction. Are you done with your project? I heard Kai squeal like a banshee a few minutes back, could only mean his cry of victory.”

Taehyun giggles. The sound is as welcome as the rain. What would it be like if it rained Taehyun’s giggles? Fuck, he must be half unhinged. 

He wanted to make a clean escape before their 4 day break just before the showcase, but was met by Taehyun in his apartment on the last day. He waved shyly at Beomgyu and Beomgyu thanked the heavens that at least he’s not made their interactions awkward. 

We haven’t slept properly in two days. I didn’t know eyes were capable of twitching twitch like that. It’s good that you can’t see them, they’re bloodshot.” He can almost see Taehyun’s teeth gleam. He watches as he rubs tired circles on his eyelids with the heels of his palms. It’s like the exhaustion has teamed and multiplied and the entire room feels heavy with it. And there’s a weird pull. Towards Taehyun. To collect him in his arms and comfort him. And the feeling that maybe Beomgyu needs that same comfort from him. 

Taehyun moves closer towards him standing near his feet. “You should have gone to your room and slept . Why are you always loitering in our house?” He jokes while nudging Taehyun’s waist with his toe to tickle him. Taehyun grabs his foot and runs a feather light finger down the sole which has him yelping an apology and making him try to yank his foot out of his grasp. His chest feels lighter than seconds ago when Taehyun wasn’t here. And being able to laugh with him is something he never wants to take for granted. He averts his eyes and stares back at the rain. It doesn’t seem as gloomy anymore. 

“I wanted to check on you. You’ve been quiet, well, quieter than you generally are.  So…”

“Taehyun tell him what you were telling me.” Heuningkai’s loud voice emerges from somewhere outside the room.

“About what?”Beomgyu asks, suddenly curious. It is strange that Taehyun would just come to his room to do nothing. 

“We are having a clothing drive for the underprivileged LGBTQ community so if you have stuff that you can donate, it’ll be great if you could bring them after the holidays. We planned it like this so that when everyone goes back home, they can grab stuff they have at home.”

“That sounds really cool. Do you need volunteers?” 

“Would you volunteer?”

“Of, course. If you need. I would love to.”

Beomgyu sees the silhouette of Taehyun’s head nodding. 

“I’m going to talk to them. When I get back. My parents.”

“You have to tell me how it went!” Beomgyu is suddenly excited and nervous about this idea. “Text me, okay?”

Taehyun giggles again, then he adds, “Umm…why were you feeling…gloomy?”

Beomgyu pats the bed beside him, and Taehyun crawls over sitting shoulder to shoulder. It reminds him of the night when he created a ruckus on Taehyun’s date; Taehyun had wrapped himself around Beomgyu on his bed, head on his shoulder. There’s no way he’d do it now. “Some days…some days I feel like this. Like a baby chick right out of his egg, and a single touch would make me stagger. I probably sound crazy right now.”

“No, no you don’t. I feel like that too sometimes.” Taehyun nudges his shoulder.

“What do you do then?”

“Remind myself that it will eventually pass. Wow, that’s like the worst advice ever. Don’t do that. I mean if you need to talk to someone, talk to someone. Um..me for instance. You can talk to me..”

“Taehyun.”

“I’m listening.”

“I..uh..I think you’re kinda cool.”

“Oh.” He sounds surprised, then smug, “You and everyone else.” 

Beomgyu can hear the smile in his voice, along with sleepiness,  “I think you’re cool too.”

“You do?”

“Of course. That’s why I just told you. I think I should  go or I’m going to just fall asleep here.” 

Beomgyu bites his tongue before he can let slip Then do. 

“You okay, though? I can stay if you like for a bit.”

He’s a rookie on blades on ice around Taehyun. With every step, here is only slipping and falling now. Cold and hard. Maybe that is why it was better to stay the way they were. This almost-friends-but-not-quite something is confusing. Beomgyu shakes his head, while they are joined by Hueningkai who suddenly switches the lights on, and..Taehyun was not kidding, his eyes are bloodshot and he has an unhinged smile on his face. He looks really scary. 

“Wow, you guys are really cute.” 

Deja vu.

Taehyun immediately leaps out of the bed, while Beomgyu protests, spluttering, “What? It’s not…we weren’t-  this isn’t what it looks like!” 

“And what does it look like?” Kai asks, still grinning. 

“Shut up, kai. I would never-we would never. Right, Taehyun?” he looks helplessly at the other boy. But Taehyun has his back to him, and seems to be in a hurry to escape. The grin fades from Kai’s face as he glances at Taehyun and turns into something more pitiful. Beomgyu doesn’t really understand. Then Kai looks at Beomgyu almost accusingly, as Taehyun almost sprints out of the room.

“What? What did I do?’

Kai sighs, tiredly,”Nothing. Are you okay?”

“Why?’

“You’ve been moodier than usual these past few days.”

“I’ve not…” He has. It is true. The force of his feelings for Taehyun hit him harder than he expected, and the gnawing feeling that perhaps the best he could hope for was only Taehyun’s friendship because he might have destroyed the chances of them being something more, altogether. Kai shakes his head in exasperation, "Sometimes I think I’m friends with kindergarteners.” 

“Hey! Not fair. Also, you look scary as hell.”

“Of course!” Kai replies pointing to himself,”This is what happens when you excel at school but also have to take care of exasperating friends who act like clueless children.” 

“Hey-!”

“Adios, hyung. I’m going to get some sleep.” Ke glances at the direction that Taehyun has escaped, opens his mouth to say something but doesn't, instead choosing to only close Beomgyu’s door with a small nod. 

***

Taehyun writes to him which throws Beomgyu off for the first few minutes, even though he later remembers that he was the one who had asked Taehyun to text him. 

It is at 11 o clock in the night on the second day of their holiday.

Are you asleep?

~~ Hi. No. Are u? 

Which in hindsight is stupid, because Taehyun literally just texted him. 

No. I wanted to let you know about today. Since you had asked me to. 

~~ And?? What happened?

A little less dramatic than what I expected and a bit more emotional I guess.

~~ You cried?

Wouldn’t you have  like to see that

~~ Oh. But I have

Eh? But how? When?

~~ Forget about it. Can you finish telling me about today? 

Okay. But promise me you’ll tell me later. 

~~ I make no promises. 

Okay then. Bye.

~~ No! Wait..wait. Okay jeez. I promise. Now tell me. 

I was scared shitless

~~ Now dat I would like to see

~~ Haha. 

My noona was on my side. Made it sound more…palatable to them.  

~~ Right I forget about your sister. Baby of the family right?

Shut up.

~~ Poor her. has been dealing with you since birth. 

You’re so funny. 

Now do you want to know what happened or not? 

By the time Beomgyu went to bed, it was 2:00 am. And he was smiling like an idiot. 

***

He feels oddly calm on the day of the actual performance. Strangely, it was a day that he felt like he would never reach and here he was, in the dressing room, staring at his reflection in the mirror, all dolled up, his thin muslin ruffled t shirt sitting loose on his body, buttoned only up about half his chest to leave the rest for a good amount of display skin. It was all to add for the aura of the performances. He has his earphones on, listening to the track of his solo. Outside, all the other members of the team are chatting with family members and friends , or stretching before the performance, or doing stupid pre-performance rituals, (that honestly Beomgyu didn’t believe in). In the reflection, he sees Taehyun arrive at the door, and catch his eye in the mirror. He removes his earphones.

“You weren’t out there.”

Beomgyu turns around to see him properly. 

“Wow” Taehyun says in obvious awe, which he later shrugs away by saying, “I mean wow, that’s a lot of makeup.” Beomgyu laughs, little sparks erupting inside him to see Taehyun there. 

“Did you come all the way here to review how I look?”

“Actually…..” Taehyun walks towards him with his fist closed, and for a microsecond, Beomgyu wonders if Taheyun is going to punch him. Beomgyu looks at the other boy confused.

”I wanted to give you this.” Taehyun says.

“A punch?”

“What?- No! Why would you think that? No, this.” He grabs Beomgyu’s hand and flattens out his palm to drop a small brooch into it. It is an enamel flower bouquet with beads and stones hanging from it. It’s extremely pretty. 

“Wow, I-uh. Thank you.”

“I know generally people  bring flowers for after the performance, blah blah but I saw it and it made me think of you and I wanted to give it to you.”

“It’s really beautiful.” 

“It is.” Beomgyu finds Taehyun staring at him as he says it. If the lights weren’t this dim, he would have been able to see how profusely Beomgyu was blushing. 

“I know you’re going to be great. But all the best, nonetheless.” Taehyun is crouching beside him, so close, it would just take a moment for him to close the distance between them and kiss him. Perhaps, Taehyun would actually punch him then. But he could risk it. If only for that one moment of absolute bliss. Fuck.. Before he can stop himself, he hands the brooch to Taehyun,” Will you pin it on my shirt?”

“You want to wear it now?” 

“Then when, silly?” Beomgyu says, trying to mask the quiver in his voice. He feels nervous all of a sudden; Taehyun is too close for comfort. He holds his breath as Taehyun pins the brooch in, and then looks up at him with wide eyes. They sparkle from the vanity lights. He clears his throat,

“Yeonjun Hyung's solo is going to be amazing.”

Taehyun nods,”I know. I’ve seen his practice. And his performances. Especially the one at the fundraiser last semester . Did you know that’s how I came to know him?’

“Yes, Soobin hyung told me.”

“I couldn’t stop gushing to him about his performance. You know how he gets, all shy and giggly.”

“Yes, one would think he’d get used to it by now. He’s weird, isn’t he?” 

“So weird.” They burst out laughing together. 

“I wasn’t there that day. Sprained my ankle.”

“Yeah I know. I didn’t see you.”

Beomgyu narrowed his eyes at him, in a mock challenge,”Really? Or maybe you could have been enraptured by Yeonjun to pay notice to others.”

“If you would have been there, I wouldn’t have even noticed Yeonjun Hyung."

Before Beomgyu can really register his words, the dressing room is flooding in, and Taehyun is being ushered out, while the event coordinators have started screaming into their headsets. He tries frantically to wave back to Taehyun but all he can do in the midst of the swimming heads is get a smile. 

He gets a message from Hueningkai

I’d normally say, break a leg but that’s the worst thing to say to you guys right now. 

Blow them away, hyung! 

And Soobin

You’re going to do amazing. All the best! 

A hand encircles his shoulder and he knows who it is without even having to look up, 

“Let’s do this, Jjunie hyung”

It all gets over in a flash- the blinding lights, the smokescreen, the applause, the aching limbs, the clicking of a hundred cameras. The greetings by families and familiar faces later, the flowers, the congratulations - he sees his parents, he sees Yeonjun’s face streamed with tears- happy ones. He sees Soobin and Hueningkai, and is almost falling back by the force of these two large men launching at him. He doesn’t remember at the end of it all if he is crying or laughing, but he does remember thinking that  he couldn’t see Taehyun anywhere. 

***

It’s a couple of days later that he exits his class when he sees someone familiar, waving him over. He recognises the person as Dahye, a friend of one of his dance teammates whom Bemmgyu got to know, well because he is somewhat of a social butterfly. She is hanging out with another group of people, half of whom Beomgyu doesn’t really recognise. She starts gushing about their performance and then his solo as he sheepishly receives the compliments. She briefly introduces him to the people she is with and they chat, he hears Taehyun’s name being dropped in one of the conversations that her other friends are having. From that moment on he is no longer listening to her but trying to eavesdrop on that conversation.

“Yup. Taehyun. I asked him out a couple of times before he actually said yes” Beomgyu doesn’t know this person but seems like the guy Taehyun went on that date with. 

“But that didn’t work out so well, did it?” Someone else says. 

“Nope. Told me he likes someone else and is in too deep, and doesn’t want to be an asshole to me to keep the date going.”

“Well, he was an asshole to have said yes in the first place.”

Beomgyu feels a sudden rush of fury bolt inside him as he mentally pictures himself knocking the daylights out of the guy who says this. 

“Well. Whatever. He did apologise again, though. But I don’t think he’s going out with someone. So I don’t know what that was all about.”

“Do you know who it was?” Beomgyu is shocked to hear these words coming out of his mouth. Damn it. Everyone looks at him confused. 

“You know Taehyun ?”

“I well-uh…” Now he chooses to fumble?

“There are fewer people that Beomgyu doesn’t know,” Dahye supplies thankfully from beside him.”I’d be surprised if he didn’t know Taehyun. Isn’t that right?” She teases him and he is so thankful to her at that moment. The others seem to be convinced.

“Nope. No idea. I didn’t bother asking.” 

But Beomgyu’s already spiralling. And it’s ugly. Did Taehyun not come to see him after the performance, because he was with this mystery guy? Jealousy surges through Beomgyu as all his rational thoughts fly out the window. He has no right to feel like this. But he feels hurt. Taehyun had so sweetly come and given him that brooch. Did that get Beomgyu’s hopes up? He is marching towards his apartment building and he stops at the third floor, instead of riding all the way up to the fifth. But Taehyun isn’t home-no one is- and Beomgyu doesn’t even know why he strutted up to

Taehyun’s place; doesn’t know what to really do with this new information. Doesn’t really know how he feels that his heart is shattering. He needs air, or he is going to explode. He runs all the way up to the terrace only to find the person he was looking for there. 

“Taehyun.”

Taehyun whips his head around and looks at Beomgyu as though he’s seen a ghost. 

“Beomgyu. What are you- what are you doing here?”

Beomgyu doesn’t even recognise his voice as he says, coldly, scoffing.”What am I doing here? I told you about this place if you remember correctly.” Taehyun looks taken aback with the tone of Beomgyu’s voice. 

“Okay. Sorry. I didn’t know it was such a big deal.”

“It never is to you, is it? That was completely uncalled for, but Beomgyu wasn’t even thinking at this point. 

“What are you even talking about?” Taehyun asks him, clearly very confused.Beomgyu sighs, suddenly feeling extremely stupid. “Nothing. Forget it. I don’t know why I said that.” 

“Okay.” Taehyun replies flatly. He turns away from Beomgyu and leans over the balustrade, while Beomgyu stares at his back, cursing himself. 

“You know, if you have a problem with me, you should spit it out.” Taehyun turns towards him again. 

“I don’t have a problem with you.”

“Are you sure? Because every time I feel like we might be friends, you go ahead and do something for me to think otherwise.”

Beomgyu sighs. Friends. Taehyun wants to be friends. So what? They could be friends, So what if they cannot be something more. He did like Taehyun as a person even though his actions almost always seem to demonstrate otherwise. And he feels like shit for it. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”

“I” -I’m gonna go.”

“Taehyun,” Beomgyu calls after him, almost pleadingly. 

“What?” Taehyun replies coldly, and Beomgyu knows he deserves it. 

“I didn’t mean it, really, I am sorry. Forget what I said before. Stay. I’ll go.” Taehyun looks at him, expressionless, and Beomgyu cannot make anything out of it, so he leaves quickly and quietly, cursing himself. 

***

One thing that they never had were awkward silences. Because the next time they see each other, neither of them have anything to say to each other. Beomgyu is still embarrassed by his outburst the other day and Taehyun refuses to even meet his eye. He’s dumping a bag of chips in a plastic bowl in his kitchen the following Saturday when Yeonjun sneaks up behind him, almost causing him to drop the bag,

“What did you do?”

“What do you mean?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious Gyu, don’t pretend otherwise.”

“Why do you guys assume it’s always me who does something?” 

Yeonjun raises an eyebrow at him. 

“I don’t know, okay? Plus isn’t this what you guys always wanted? For us to stop squabbling like children?”

Yeonjun snorted, “Oh how generous of you to stop talking to Taehyun because of us.” 

Beomgyu considers it for a second. Maybe he could tell Yeonjun. He’d understand right? He would make fun of him at first maybe, but he’d help me. Help him with what?

“Hyung, I have to tell you something-”

He’s interrupted by the one person he has been avoiding all evening. 

“Kai is this close to throwing a tantrum if you guys stay here any longer and Soobin hyung told me to tell you Beomgyu hyung that he has his eyes on you trying to steal Yeonjun hyung,” Taehyun says, and then under his breath, which is still loud enough to be heard, “whatever the hell that means.” But he isn’t looking at Beomgyu at all. He has his eyes still on Yeonjun. Really? Is this how he’s going to be? Beomgyu wonders. 

Yeonjun just shakes his head, laughing, and dismisses Taehyun good-naturedly,” Yeah yeah, Tyunnie we will there in a minute.” Taehyun shrugs and gives him a thumbs up, before, only if for a micro second,, looking at Beomgyu before turning around and leaving. 

“What was that all about?”

Yeonjun pretends he doesn’t hear him. “So, you were saying?”

Beomgyu decides against it, so he just murmurs,”Nothing. Let’s go.” he grabs the bowl, but before he can leave, Yeonjun puts a hand on his shoulder, and looks straight into his eyes, seriously. “Listen, you’ve danced around each other enough, okay? I think it’s time to put an end to that.” Then he leaves, grabbing the bowl from Beomgyu’s hands and leaving Beomgyu stunned.

***

Since the showcase is over, dance practice is relatively more serene than usual. As beomgyu grabs his bag, he is taken aback at the person loitering around the entrance. Taehyun sees him, and they lock eyes, and Beomgyu immediately understands, though he is nervous. He drops his bag back onto the floor, waiting till everyone is out the door and only him and Taehyun remain. He doesn’t really know what to do, so he slumps onto the floor, and stares at his palms till Taehyun speaks,

“I wanted to talk to you.”

“So you decide to corner me here?” Beomgyu tries to joke, then curses himself, but  he finds Taehyun smiling in that exasperated way he does when Beomgyu talks shit. Relief flood through him.

“I would say you’re free to leave, but you’re not. Not till you’ve heard what I have to say.”

“Bossy.”

“Hyung.” Taehyun says. He takes a deep breath, and then plops himself on the ground in front of Beomgyu.”I- I- why were you upset on the rooftop?”

“I wasn't,” Beomgyu says quickly. 

“Because I’m about to tell you something that you might not be ready to hear and I don’t want to - to- be upset with me. Because it’s something I couldn’t have helped even if I wanted.”

Beomgyu’s heart is ready to beat right out of his chest. Getting to know it from someone else is one thing. But having been cornered to listen to it from Taehyun himself. That’s too much to bear. “I don’t want to know,” he whispers. 

Taehyun’s face crumples with hurt. His eyes lose their spark. “But I have to tell you. Even if it’s selfish of me. I cannot go on like this. When I have to see you everyday, and look at you all the time but I can’t touch you, not like the way I want to or - or- tell you how pretty you are-like the time, how is that even possible? You don’t even have to do anything-”

What?

What is happening?

“Beomgyu Hyung...I - I like you." Is he imagining Taehyun’s voice  trembling slightly as he continues,”I like you so much, oh my god. I’m going crazy.”

It was right there in front of him all the time. He just didn’t want to believe it. For Taehyun to like him back.

“And maybe to you it’s crazy because, you know, why. But it’s not for me. I don’t even know how it happened but it’s been a long time. And I’ve tried not to make it obvious, obviously, and I’ve wished for it to go away, obviously but everyday I find myself falling harder and harder and you do nothing to help it! And I thought maybe we were becoming friends and there was a glimmer of hope and suddenly you were upset with me and I was spiralling-”

Beomgyu doesn’t even know when his body moves but he’s crawled towards Taehyun and wrapped his hands tight around him and buried his face into his neck. Taehyun is suddenly still under him.

After a few moments, he whispers "Thank you for telling me, Taehyun." 

"Thank you? oh.Is that all that you have to say?" Taehyun's voice sounds rough and brittle, like a dilapidated stony wall.

He realises he has done something really stupid."No, Taehyun wait...wait.. that’s not what I meant...can you please stop struggling! 

"No! Let go of me!" 

"Oh my god! Taehyun! What I meant was that thank you for being the braver one of the two of us and letting me know of your feelings because god knows how much of a coward, I am to ever be the one to tell you how much I like you first! "

"What?" 

"I like you too, you blithering idiot."

"Don't call me an idiot and tell me you like me in the same sentence!" 

"Okay. I'm sorry! I like you." 

Taehyun removes himself from Beomgyu’s arms to look at him, gazing at his face like it holds the answers to every single question he has. Beomgyu leans in and rests his forehead and nose against Taehyun’s "You're an idiot. See separate sentences." Beomgyu mumbles as Taehyun giggles. 

"I really fucking hate you.” 

Beomgyu has been smiling so wide for so long that his cheeks ache, but the grin remains intact. His brain seems to register nothing but Taehyun’s presence, as it generally does whenever he’s around, only this time it’s different because now he can do something about it. He gently presses his lips to the side of Taehyun's head, and feels him stun for a second and then relax again. So, he proceeds to kiss his ear, the skin of his shoulder, slightly peeking from his T-shirt. Taehyun starts laughing and hugs him tighter and Beomgyu does the same. “No, you like me. No take backs.” he mumbles into the crook of Taehyun’s neck.

Beomgyu sits more comfortably, crossing his legs, and pulls Taehyun on his lap. He places his hands on Beomgyu's chest and gazes into his eyes, Taehyun’s own large orbs glimmering like the night sky. 

“What am I going to do with you?” Taehyun asks him, shaking his head.

“Kiss me maybe?” Beomgyu asks hesitantly.

Taehyun places a small kiss on his lips and quickly draws back to gauge Beomgyu’s reaction. Beomgyu doesn’t give him time for that; he’s chasing after Taehyun’s lips almost immediately, capturing them into a slow burning kiss. It’s pure bliss. They stay like that for a bit, until Taehyun finally draws back. Beomgyu grins, 

“Is that the best you can do? I knew you were lying when you said you’ve kissed people before.” Beomgyu jokes.

“Fuck off. I have NEVER said that! When have I said that? You’re such a piece of work, hyung.”

“But you like me anyway.” Beomgyu says, unable to still comprehend it fully. 

“That I do. Tell me now, what happened on the rooftop?”

Beomgyu feels like a complete utter fool. Of course Taehyun must have meant him. He must have been obviously referring to Beomgyu. And he fully expects Taehyun’s reaction-who howls in laughter and also flicks his forehead. But at this point, Taehyun could chase after him with a machete and he'll be at his mercy. 

“You’re an idiot. Oh you’re such an idiot. Oh Beomgyu.” Taehyun kisses him, and then again.”But I can’t be mad now, can I?”

“Well, I hope you won't be.”

“This is…crazy. You like me too.” 

But Beomgyu needs to get something off his chest.”Why weren't you there ? At the end of the showcase. I didn’t see you.”

Taehyun shrugs,”I was there…I just…avoided you. I couldn’t handle it. You looked so good, and you were so amazing, I thought I might do something stupid like kiss you. And the way you looked at me when I put the brooch on you. It was really unfair.”

Oh shit. This is really embarrassing. 

“It was unfair the way you looked at me!” Beomgyu cries. “With you stupid big beautiful sparkling eyes!”

“You think I have beautiful eyes?”

“Thought you knew that.” Beomgyu teases him.

Taehyun shakes his head,”It’s different when you think that.”

“Let’s go back to my apartment. I’ll let you know what I really think.”

***

Epilogue

"How do I look?"

"Hot"

"You didn't even look at me!"

"That's all I ever do, hyung." Taehyun winks at Beomgyu and receives an unimpressed look in return.  "You look pretty, and hot. And very sexy." He juts his lips out in an exaggerated pout, blows a kiss at Beomgyu and goes back to staring at his laptop, "Now, let me work." 

Beomgyu drops beside him on the couch, fidgeting with his thumbs. It's not like he wanted to go to the party, but everyone was and he just finished a major submission and wanted to blow off some steam. However, he would have liked it a lot more if he were dancing with Taehyun. Taehyun looks up at him  curiously, again "Have you decided not to go?" 

"How are you...I don't know, not jealous. Your sexy boyfriend, out with predatory college goers-" he teases Taehyun.

"Predatory? Barely out of their teens-"

"Horny barely out of their teens”

"Should they not be jealous of me, since I'm the one dating you?"

True. “You squeeze the romance out of every single thing with your rationality." 

"I hardly think jealousy is romantic, hyung.” Also true. “We are two grown up mature individuals who have decided to partake in a monogamous relationship and who truly trust and respect each other-"

"Will it kill you if you for once tell me you're going to hate it if your hot boyfriend parades around looking like this in the midst of horny college party?” 

Taehyun puts his laptop aside and pats his thigh and indicates Beomgyu to settle onto his lap and adjusts Beomgyu's legs on either side of his thighs. Then he looks at him with a fondness that lights up his face,

although partly the reason for this is also the fact that he's trying to hold his amusement at bay at Beomgyu's antics. He bites down on his lip trying to annihilate the urge to laugh into Beomgyu's face. There is nothing that will keep them from poking fun at each other at any given moment. And it's even better now, since all it takes is a kiss to be forgiven. He tilts his head as he regards Beomgyu, "What's up?" 

"What's up is that if I were in your place, I'd not want you to take one step out of this house." Beomgyu says, poking his index finger repeatedly at Taehyun’s chest.

"I hope you don't really mean that. That sounds a little troubling. I would like to at any given point leave a place of my own accord in spite of how I look." Taehyun chuckles, tucking a loose strand of hair that has escaped from his half ponytail behind Beomgyu's ear, "pretty" he whispers under his breath.

Beomgyu preens at the off-hand compliment and smirks, "Well, I would want you all to myself."

"You have me. I'm yours." He says it simply, like they're discussing the weather, oh its hot; oh it looks like its going to rain today. There's determination in his eyes and the way Taehyun holds his gaze,  Beomgyu's breath gets caught in his throat. All blood rushes south. It's very apparent, making Taehyun smirk, "You have it so bad for me."

"Don't you?"

Taehyun chooses to not answer. Instead, he leans in and captures Beomgyu's lips with his own. By the time they're done making out, Beomgyu's lip gloss is completely smeared, casting a rosy pink tint all over the periphery of his lips, and not to mention Taehyun's, the minute sparkles of the sticky formula, mingled with spit twinkling on his cherry lips, thoroughly devoured; Beomgyu's hair that he took a whole 15 minutes to carefully make is a mess, sticking out in all directions and he also now sports a very prominent love bite by his collarbone, about which he is more satisfied than he ideally would be.

"Sure I am jealous of my boyfriend parading around people he's too good for anyway, carrying a hickey that I gave him when he's going to return home to my kisses and fuck me and fall asleep in my arms. I'm green with envy." Taehyun mumbles in his ear, nibbling on his earlobe. His tone is haughty, and it thrills down Beomgyu's spine making him wonder if he would ever make it to the party tonight. 

Taehyun however is adamant on his plans, "If you don't leave, I'll never be able to finish my project, hyung. Please, as much as I'd love to continue this.”

Beomgyu chuckles and gets off his lap, tripping a little over the side of the table and Taehyun's hand steadies him. He gives it a grateful squeeze and rushes back in to make himself presentable again, smoothing out his hair to make it look less like a bird's nest and tying it up again. He dabbles on a little more of the gloss but makes no effort to hide the hickey. 

"I'll see you" He grabs his wallet, slips into his oxfords, and presses a kiss onto Taehyun's hair. 

"Hey" Taehyun suddenly grabs his hand as he's leaving, pressing a short quick kiss on the underside. Then he drags Beomgyu’s palm across his lips, leaving a smear of his sticky lip gloss from earlier. He looks up at Beomgyu, teeth bared, the dimple on his cheek, round and heavy eye bags, and the tiny giggle, which sounds more like short snorts especially when he’s done something really pesky, “Ah shit,’’ he says with mock concern, eyebrows pinching for a mere second “ you've got lip gloss on your hand!" 

The laptop illuminates his face, an ugly fluorescent imprint on his features, highlighting his nose and cheekbones unnaturally. It's an annoyingly bratty move; but Beomgyu’s heart seems to have catapulted into the air, sploshed into thick honey, slowly sinking, sucking in all the sweet goodness, and ready to combust.

He’s in so deep. 

Beomgyu looks at the pink stain on his palm and back at Taehyun's large glimmering eyes, now crescent shaped, the eyes bags becoming more prominent as they generally do when he smiles. And he’s smiling really wide right now.

Shit indeed.

He bends down to level his gaze with Taehyun's and whispers, "And you've got my heart in yours." 

Taehyun stares at him, unblinking, an indecipherable expression on his face but Beomgyu is out the door in the next second, the feeling in his chest rising in magnitude. He makes his way to the elevator, chuckling at himself. He could wax poetry about Taehyun indefinitely, write a million and one songs about him, but somehow it would still fall short of how Taehyun makes him feel. He wipes his pink stained palm on his jeans and a smile makes way to his face. 

When he's back at the apartment, Beomgyu tries with the best of his ability to try to open the lock as gingerly as possible, lest Taehyun is already asleep and he's unknowingly waking him up. The door creaks slightly as usual, and when he steps inside, there is no sign of Taehyun. His notebook and laptop are nowhere to be seen nor is his bag. His jacket however is neatly folded and kept in a corner of the couch. Beomgyu shrugs his own jacket and shoes off and makes his way to the kitchen. There's his coffee mug perched near the sink, but with a wrinkly tea bag and spoon and he knows it's that abominable green tea that Taehyun got him to switch his black coffee with but he would absolutely never touch it so whenever Taehyun comes around (which is almost all the time, more than before even) he is the one who ends up drinking it. 

He gulps in some water. He didn't have much to drink but his tongue feels hot and dry like the desert sand. He finally makes his way to his room and finds Taehyun snuggled up in his sheets, seemingly asleep. Maybe it's a little embarrassing to admit (not really, he admitted it to Taehyun yesterday) but it's almost as though he can't fall asleep if Taehyun's not around, and in a weird way they've come a full circle. He blinks himself back to the present moment, chuckling at himself; Taehyun's right there in his bed and yet, he cannot help but still think about him. He gingerly changes trying not to make a lot of noise, brushes his teeth and gets into bed.

"Woah, woah, Hyun. It's just me." 

Taehyun rubs the heels of his palms aggressively over his eyes and groans, "Oh, I fell asleep. I was waiting for you."

"Did you finish your paper?" He asks a groggy Taehyun who continues to groan at the effort of turning over to face Beomgyu. But his eyes are just tiny slits, which he forces to open. Taehyun gives a non-committal grunt to his question and wraps a leg around Beomgyu's waist. 

"How was the party?" 

"Worth missing." Beomgyu says as he presses a small kiss on Taehyun's cheek. For a few seconds Taehyun doesn't say anything, so he assumes he's asleep again. Then he hears a low hum, "You smell like weed and alcohol. Putrid. Sorry but yuck.”

"Well, but my mouth doesn't taste like alcohol and weed. So." Taehyun rolls over to land his body on top of Beomgyu, supporting himself on his forearms. He plants his lips on Beomgyu's for a fraction of a second. "Mint" he says, drawing back and smacking his lips together.

Beomgyu laughs, "Hey, this isn't a guessing game." He pulls Taehyun back in to kiss him indulgently, and Taehyun lowers himself to land flush on Beomgyu's body. He cradles Beomgyu's face in his palms to kiss him back with equal passion. Nipping and nibbling at his lips, and peppering them with butterfly kisses before kissing him deeper and deeper.

"Taehyun" Beomgyu barely manages to let out in-between the kisses, "Taehyun," he tries again but Taehyun's not letting him speak. He licks into Beomgyu's mouth, his hand travelling south and palming beomgyu through his pants, and for a few minutes, Beomgyu allows himself to completely be at Taehyun's mercy. He tries to break away a second time, because he needs to let it out of his chest.

"Taehyun-" Taehyun breaks away for a fraction of a second, panting, but his lips are still so close to Beomgyu’s own that he can feel their softness. Taheyun’s  nose scrunched in annoyance at being stopped, but he’s ready to dive in again.

"Taehyun, I love you." 

Taehyun halts again, partly disoriented from sleep, and partly from making out heavily just a second ago; if Beomgyu wasn’t so overwhelmed at his own confession, he would have giggled at the comical expression on his boyfriend’s face. Taehyun’s mouth is half parted, his jaw is slackened, and his eyes are drooping. He blinks a couple of times, and licks his lips, eyes furrowing, “Say that again.” 

Beomgyu smiles,”I love you. I’m in love with you”

Taehyun’s eyes are like baseballs now, “You’ve never-....I ... .this is the first time…..you’re saying it for the first time, Hyung.”

“Yes,” Beomgyu replies, challenging him. 

“I love you, Hyung!”

Beomgyu laughs, in some form of unadulterated absolute glee, “I know. And I love you.” 

“You just said it again!” Beomgyu laughs at Taehyun’s little moment, but soon he’s being told that But I win since I said it first, to which Beomgyu’s replying that its not a competition and taehyun is sticking out his tongue at him and saying but it is, so Beomgyu is shutting him up by planting his lips on Taehyun's at lightning speed.

So, Taehyun did say it first. Said it a few weeks  ago when Beomgyu had returned home all bleary-eyed and was exhausted, thankfully the elevator was repaired so that he doesn't have to hold the handrail as if he's grappling for dear life on every step he takes on the staircase. The elevator pinged open and he slackenly made his way to his apartment, joggling the can of iced coffee over his tongue to take in any last remnants before he threw it away.

When he found a body slumped against his door, the scream was more of a knee-jerk reaction than a genuine scare. 

"Aahhhhhhhh"

"Aaahhhhhhh"

"Hyung, what the hell? You scared me!" Taehyun clamoured onto his feet, dusting his bottom and adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. 

"Hyunnie, what are you doing here!? I thought you didn't get back until tomorrow!" Taehyun had gone home to his sister’s post graduation ceremony over the long weekend. 

"Surprise?" Taehyun muttered sheepishly, "I was here almost an hour ago. Hyung, you really need to get your keypad repaired.” Taehyun said and greeted him with a short, sweet lingering kiss on his lips. The keys jingled lightly in Beomgyu’s finger as his hands mapped Taehyun’s back and they kissed for a few seconds. 

“I think we should continue this inside.” Taehyun laughed lightly. 

He wrapped his arms around Beomgyu from behind and laid his head on his shoulder, as Beomgyu continued to fumble around with the keys like every single time. He thought maybe today Taehyun was too tired to be sassy, until he heard a quiet tired voice. It's like opening a mansion that hasn’t been touched in a century, the hot breath tickling his neck. He smiled to himself.

“Your wisecracks are lovely. I really missed them.’ He tried but wasn’t able to sound even remotely sarcastic because he did miss Taehyun like crazy. He forced the door open with a loud bang.

“I was gone for 4 days and you missed me? You must have a thing for me.”

“I thought I dropped a hint already with our little make-out sesh  back there.” Beomgyu licked his swollen stinging lips, awkwardly waddling inside because Taehyun refused to let go of his death grip around his waist.

There seemed like a party going on upstairs, or downstairs; there was a squabble of voices, the faint bars of music that had made their way into their own apartment that made the walls, and the floors drowned with the resounding noise. 

Taehyun hummed in annoyance, a low growl that reverberated into his ear and died out. Though Beomgyu was facing front and Taehyun had his chin resting on his shoulder, he could almost make out the expression on his face; his lower lip must be jutting out, his nose scrunched up just a little, which he thinks is cute, but Taehyun is bound to believe its intimidating; and the lone dimple in his cheek must have deepened because of the grimace. 

“How was it, then?”

“Good, stressful. Well, more stressful for her than me. I met a lot of people. I kept  thinking how much you would have liked it. It was too much for me.” 

Beomgyu chuckled. He was famously more social between the two of them. “My poor baby.”

He felt Taehyun stop in his tracks, grounding him as well. He twisted his neck to the side to see Taehyun looking at him. It’s curiosity, etched on his features. And then Taehyun blurts,”

"Hey. I love you." 

A smile grew on Taehyun’s face as he pressed his eyelids close again. His hands skimmed down Beomgyu's sides, tracing gentle patterns, as he nuzzled into his neck contentedly.

Beomgyu who all but melted into a puddle, whispered, "Show me, then."

So he did.

T**X***T