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"Another confession letter? Honestly, are we still in high school?"
Tsukishima held a sickeningly pastel pink letter with a red heart sticker used as a seal slapped on top of it in his hands. The kanji for ‘Tsukishima Kei’ was scrawled on the front of the envelope in ruby red ink. "At least have the courage to tell me to my face how hot you think I am."
Surely enough, Koganegawa found out from snooping over his shoulder, all the letter went on about were his looks, or his abs, or something. You really couldn’t get more impersonal if you tried. Tsukishima didn’t even get to the name of the sender at the bottom before he rolled his eyes and dropped the letter in the changing room trashcan. And ripped the envelope up a few times for good measure.
Regardless, Kogane’s life purpose was to argue with Tsukishima (For fun, obviously!), so he decided to play devil’s advocate.
"Youre an ungrateful jerk, Tsukki!" Koganegawa huffed. "I can't believe you're the popular one. You don't even try to be sociable with our fans! The very least you could do is let her down gently." He took off his uniform shirt as he talked, and one of the sleeves got stuck on his ear. If Tsukishima wasn't so annoyed, Kogane was sure he’d laugh his ass off at him.
“Again, she’s a coward if she won’t even give this to me properly.” The letter had been left on the steps outside the gym the Frogs were known to practice in. Koganegawa had to admit that would make it hard to track down the girl who left it there. Not like Tsukishima would even bother to put effort into doing so, but it was almost as if she didn’t want a response at all.
“Still. It’s just not fair!” There must have been something in his tone, because Kyoutani glanced at him, one bleached eyebrow raised.
"People love mysterious men who seem out of reach. You're too easy, Kogane." Kyoutani snorted. He tugged his own uniform shirt over his head, impressively defined back muscles on full display. Koganegawa was jealous, honestly. He’d have to hit the gym outside of regular practice more often.
He wondered how Kyoutani didn’t have a girlfriend yet, being crazy jacked like that. He didn’t have an unattractive face either, even if it was a little intimidating. Maybe it was the tennis ball hair that put people off.
"Nuh-uh! Tsukki is just the tall, blonde and skinny type, which girls just go absolutely crazy for, for some reason.”
"..Koganegawa. You are literally all of those things." Their libero muttered. The rest of the team seemed to be doing their best to ignore their conversation, especially the more senior members. Tsukishima looked just about ready to kill himself.
"I'm not a natural blonde, F-Y-I!" Koganegawa was very insistent about this. He kept on saying he’d eventually let his hair go back to its natural brown, or dye it some other color, but he admitted the “Blonde Squad” thing that he, Kyoutani, and Tsukishima had going on was too good to let go. Then again, he was pretty sure that Kyoutani’s natural hair color was brown too. Maybe they could try to convince Tsukishima to dye his hair dark brown to match them. (“Over my dead body”, Kogane imagined him saying.)
"Can you not say acronyms out loud? It's unsettling. Also maybe it's not the physical traits that people want. Maybe the girls just want someone with a working brain." Tsukishima’s sports glasses flashed in the light as he smirked, like a shitty anime villain (and he acted like one too.) Again, how on earth did he have so many fans?
"Rude!"
Unattainability may be attractive, but to what extent can you push it before it feels hopeless?
There may only be a one percent chance of your feelings being reciprocated, but it’s a crucial one percent.
Koganegawa thought he might be a genius.
It's not like he'd lose overall popularity either, the girls love a gay man. There was a difference between hard to get and literally unattainable, the type that makes you give up and move on. It was such a flawless plan, it shocked even himself. If there was absolutely zero chance of him liking them back, why would they even try?
He could drop an anonymous tip to spark online discussion, stir the pot a little. Haven’t you noticed the way Tsukishima looks at his teammates? It would simply be a dumb rumor, but it would be discouraging enough to get girls to leave him alone, at least romantically. Well, problems would arise if he did eventually decide to get a girlfriend, but he didn’t seem like he was planning on it anytime soon.
Yes, Koganegawa was definitely a genius. Tsukishima would be so grateful for him. There were absolutely no flaws in his incredibly clever plan.
"..You did what now?"
"Dude." Kyoutani murmured. "Why the fuck would you do that?"
Koganegawa was admittedly confused. "It's not like he's actually gay, right? I don't see the harm." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because Tsukishima’s death stare intensified, eye twitching just slightly. He looked ready to wring Koganegawa’s head off his neck. Kogane gulped.
"What? You idiot, I am gay!" Tsukishima snapped. "I’m literally married to a man! You've met him! Tadashi, remember? What the fuck!"
“Huh...Tadashi?” A vague, blurry image surfaced in his head. Ah, was that the green-haired boy who had been Karasuno’s captain in his third year? It had to be, he was always hanging off Tsukishima, and it wasn’t like he had that many friends back then anyway.
Koganegawa must’ve shaken his hand after a particularly devastating loss on Dateko’s end. Karasuno had won their Interhigh match 2-1, ending Kogane’s high school volleyball career for good. He remembered the firmness of his grip, the respect in which he regarded him and the rest of his team. Assuming it was the same guy, it made sense that the two of them had stuck together.
He turned back to face Tsukishima, who had an expression unlike anything he’d ever seen from him before, and it stopped him in his tracks. He looked almost... scared. Dread pooled in Koganegawa’s stomach.
Fuck, what had he done?
“I was keeping it a secret from the public because people aren’t exactly the kindest about this kind of thing. You do know that, right?” Tsukishima pinched the bridge of his nose, despite still wearing his sports glasses. His tone was undeniably agitated, but having known Tsukishima for as long as he has, he could hear the undertone of fear. Koganegawa couldn’t help the guilt that washed over him.
“Shit, Tsukki, I’m sorry-”
“Save it. And don’t call me that.” Tsukishima hadn’t corrected him on that nickname in months. Koganegawa had a feeling that his name had been scratched off the list of people the middle blocker somewhat tolerated.
Tsukishima turned on his heel and stalked out of the locker room, slamming the doors behind him. Hard.
"...I think I might've fucked up."
"You fucked up pretty bad, yeah."
"Shit."
"Yeah."
7th Solo Interview with Koganegawa Kanji, First-string setter for 2nd Division Professional Volleyball Team, Sendai Frogs [TRANSCRIPT, 1:11-6:32]
Host : Thank you for joining us today, Koganegawa. The media has been raving about your team recently. After last month's win to the Tamaden Elephants that your team won in straight sets, how are you feeling?
K : Exhilarated! I’m very excited about the future to come. I can confidently say that we work together effectively, and this current lineup we have will crush any teams we face this season!
Host : (laugh) That’s delightful to hear! Your setting has definitely improved since you first joined your current team. Though, your high school team specialized in blocking, right?
K : Yep! Dateko, home of the Iron Wall! I’m proud to say that I was recruited to be a part of that wall back in my first year, though that was mainly due to my height. My setting skills weren’t very polished at the time, but the one thing I had that was equal with my upperclassmen was my size. We had the strongest triple block the prefecture had ever seen!
Host : And it still is today. Dateko’s coaches seem to be intent in training their players to carry on the tradition.
K : That’s Dateko for you!
Host : Speaking of high school, a few of your current teammates are past rivals that you had played against in high school. What was that experience like for you?
K : Oh, man, yeah! Tsukk- uh, Tsukishima and Kyoutani both played for powerhouse teams in the same prefecture. Karasuno and Aoba Johsai, respectively. To be completely honest with you, they were both very intimidating to me back then, both as opponents and as people. The two of them have some scary death glares!
K : But they’re both really cool, honest! I think I annoy them half to death, but they’re great team players, and setting for Kyoutani is really fun. He spikes with his whole body, it’s sick. And Tsukishima is a blocker that could rival our Iron Wall, even back in high school! I really do admire them and their skill, as I do with all my teammates.
K : Actually, I want to take the opportunity here to say something real quick. Some of our dedicated fans might've heard of a rumor going around about one of my team members.
K : First of all, why do any of you actually care? For those of you going out of your way to harass people you don’t even know over basically nothing, I think you must be pretty bored with your life. Join a volleyball team, or something. Geez.
K : Like, I’m gay myself! Well, Bisexual probably, but I am definitely attracted to men. Who cares? But if you really do have desperate inquiries regarding the Sendai Frogs and also being gay, hit me up on my Instagram or Twitter account. Don't bother the rest of the team with it, please.
Host : Wow! Thank you for sharing, Koganegawa. A lot of athletes wouldn’t speak up the way you did just now. That was very brave of you.
K : Oh please, it was nothing. What’s the big deal anyways, right?
[CLIP END]
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"That was your fuckin' solution?" Kyoutani stared at him, jaw dropped so low it reached the court. This whole situation had allowed Koganegawa to see his two typically nonchalant teammates be the most expressive he's ever seen them be. This delighted him, even if the context wasn't ideal. Small wins.
"It worked, didn't it?" Koganegawa grumped, arms crossed over his chest. "Now the attention from the press and fans is off Tsukki, atleast." He peeked at Tsukishima, who was practicing jump float serves off in the corner of the gym. He had been giving Kogane the cold shoulder since the incident, and he couldn’t blame him for it. Kogane wondered if he’d seen the more recent media blow-up following his interview. Tsukishima wasn’t very active on social media from what he could remember, but he’d had to have seen something, right?
"Yeah, and now people think you're both gay. Fantastic. I might as well make out with my boyfriend in front of a news reporter while you're at it."
"...Wait, you're gay? You have a boyfriend?"
"Koganegawa.”
“Eep! Sorry!”
Koganegawa was relaxing on the couch of his apartment a day later when his phone rang. He moved to hang up, as it was probably some crazed fan of the team that somehow managed to track down his phone number (his phone had been blowing up like crazy since the interview) or a spam caller. To his surprise though, it was none other than Shiratorizawa’s Goshiki Tsutomu on the caller ID.
Koganegawa jumped and immediately ran his hand through his own hair in an attempt to neaten it, before realising Goshiki wouldn’t even be able to see him. How embarrassing was that? He let out a large sigh before responding to the call.
"You like men?! ” A loud voice piped up.
"Goshiki!?" Koganegawa choked out, flushed red. "At least ask how I'm doing or something, man!" He was kind of reeling from this whole thing. Goshiki watched his interviews?
"Sorry, sorry!" Kogane heard him laugh over the phone. It had been a while since he'd last heard that laugh. "It's not everyday you see a former rival of yours on TV declaring that he’s gay or bisexual, probably."
"Is that seriously why you're calling me? No, how are you, I miss you, let's grab drinks together again sometime, how's pro V-ball going for you, oh yeah Goshiki- how's pro V-ball going for you, I'm realising it's hypocritical of me to get on your case about that without asking you first-"
"Yeah, it's great, I’m giving the current ace a run for his money. Hey, are you seriously dating Tsukishima?"
"-Huah?!" Out of everything he’d expected Goshiki to say…
"You know, your middle blocker? Tall, blonde, glasses, intense death stare-?"
"I know who Tsukishima is!" Koganegawa stammered out. "I was just- what? Is that what people are saying? No, we're not! I'm not! He has a husb-" He stopped himself before getting any further. God, he really needed to learn how to shut his fucking mouth. "We're not dating. He doesn't even like me that much, like, as a friend. Friends might even be too generous. He keeps referring to me as his coworker.”
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure!" Koganegawa was completely flabbergasted. "Wait, why do you even care?" There was a silence over the phone, one that stretched on just a second too long, and Koganegawa thought he must have hung up or gotten disconnected, or something. "Goshi-"
"He's a major jerk, y'know! Had to make sure your taste in men wasn't that god awful." Goshiki said all too quickly. Koganegawa was far from the sharpest tool in the shed, but there was most definitely something off about his tone. Regardless, he let out a laugh.
For Koganegawa, there had always been something enticing about Goshiki Tsutomu. The way he did everything like he had to prove himself worthy of it. He was incredibly passionate, yet insecure, constantly looking elsewhere for validation. Despite almost never receiving it, he continued persevering like he would die if he didn’t. Koganegawa had always admired that in him, and may have begun nursing a little crush during the training camp at Shiratorizawa during his first year. Despite exchanging numbers and texting regularly, they never saw each other often enough afterwards for Koganegawa to consider making a move. But now…
“Well, good news for you, he’s not exactly my type.”
“...Really?”
You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, right?
“Yep. Too nonchalant for my tastes. And too blonde.” The cackle that resounded from the phone into Kogane’s ears caused a smile to widen across his face and a slight flush to spread across his neck. God, maybe he hadn’t ever got over that little crush from high school. Maybe he’d just forced himself to believe that.
“You’re literally blonde, dude.”
“First of all, not a natural blonde. Second, why would I want to look like my type? If that were the case, I would dye my hair black and get a bad bowl cut.”
Goshiki’s incredulous laughter abruptly died. For a second, Koganegawa’s heart dropped into his stomach. He thought he was so smooth with that one. Maybe he could brush it off as a joke and they could go back to not talking to each other more than once every few months. Koganegawa could try to move on and maybe cry alone in his apartment with a bucket of popcorn because even Tsukishima had found the love of his life, godammit.
“...For real?”
Koganegawa could hear the stupid grin in his voice, and it made his heart bounce back up and down in his chest, like a no-touch service ace. It made the whole ordeal worth it.
“Yeah, for real!”
“If that’s the case, I’d go fake blonde-” The emphasis Goshiki put on “fake” made Koganegawa break down in laughter despite himself. “-and style my hair like an angry bird. How about that?”
“We should both show up to our date dressed like our respective types. That’d be pretty funny, dont’cha think?”
“Are you asking me out, Kogane?”
“Maybe.”
Koganegawa couldn’t help but grin once he hung up the phone, the date now arranged for when Goshiki would visit from where he lived in Nagano. He’d be staying over at Kogane’s apartment for the weekend. They’d go out for a date or two and see where things go from there. Kogane needed to clean up a little, it was a damn mess. He couldn’t believe this was happening.
Tsukishima might never talk to him ever again, but at least he got a potential future boyfriend out of the whole situation. Small wins, indeed.
"I don't understand how he thought outing himself would make up for trying to out me. How is it genuinely possible to be this much of a complete idiot? I thought Hinata was the biggest dumbass I'd ever met, but Koganegawa makes a real good argument for that spot." Kei ranted from where his head rested on Tadashi's lap, who was running his fingers through his cropped blonde hair. Tadashi had a dopey smile on his face looking down at the blonde, and anyone who didn’t know them might assume he wasn’t listening. In truth, that was just what he looked like when he was with Kei.
"Koganegawa has always been a little empty up there though, has he not?" Tadashi knocked at his own head and grinned. Kei had to roll his eyes, even if he was fighting back a smirk of his own.
“As much as I agree, I know you just don't like him because he called me Tsukki in front of you back in highschool." Tadashi stuck his tongue at him. “And continues to now.” The look on his husband's face was so downright murderous, Kei had to laugh.
“I don’t have a problem with people calling you Tsukki, at least not anymore. I get to call you Kei, along with other stupidly affectionate nicknames you’d kill anyone else for.”
“Mhm. Tadashi privileges.”
"Yeah. I love you, you know that, Kei Tsukishima?"
"And I love you, Tadashi Tsukishima. Of course I know. I still wish I could've taken your last name."
"I know, Kei. But I like being a Tsukishima. It's almost like I'm married to Akiteru instead-" Tadashi didn't get much further before a hand was slapped over his mouth in an instant.
"Stop treating me like the second choice, you jerk. Koganegawa isn’t bad at all compared to your cruelty." Tadashi snickered against Kei’s palm, and he couldn’t help but cradle the freckled man with his eyes. He was ridiculously whipped. With this man by his side, who cared what the public thought? It had always been them against the world, anyway. “I’m still going to strangle him the next time I see him at practice, though.”
“I’d help you hide the body.” Tadashi piped up.
“I’d expect nothing less.”
(In the end, Kei did not strangle Koganegawa to death. He was too busy trying to tune out the repetitive apologies and sighing at Kogane’s insistence in doing absolutely everything for him. This went from helping him stretch to refilling his water bottle to snapping at anyone who dared to say anything bigoted towards him. In truth, he couldn’t care less what people said about his sexuality as long as Tadashi wasn’t put in harm's way, but Koganegawa didn’t need to know that. Kei was more than happy to watch him stumble over himself silly for the rest of his life.)