Chapter Text
He knew it. There was no doubt about it. Too smart for his own good. The moment the Commonwealth had lost Saparata, Fluixon must’ve known he was bound to fail- and yet, he still continued his fucked up ambitions. Maybe it was fear, maybe it was something else entirely- in the end it truly didn’t matter. Bathed in a pool of red that was leaking from his own wound.
Perhaps this was true justice. The evil falls and the hero wins, like those fairy tales parents would tell their children. So then why had it felt so empty?
Staring up at the empty ceiling of his room, Saparata’s mind began to wander. If he had noticed it sooner, if he had even attempted to truly understand him, if he told him the truth of what he felt for him- would it have changed anything? Or was this simply their fate?
“This is so dumb”, he whispered to himself absentmindedly. The silence surrounding him only solidified his ever growing loneliness.
A sudden voice startled Saparata from talking to himself further, “Thinking about him again?” Cass asked, though it felt more like a statement rather than a question. “What- when did you even get here?”, Saparata questioned. Yes he was spaced out a little, but surely he would hear if someone had approached this close enough to scare him.
“You know it’s not healthy Saps.” Saparata begrudgingly turned over to look at Cass. “You don’t even know what I was thinking about.” He said with a slight huff, “Please, as if you could fool me.” She said while rolling her eyes.
As much as he hated to admit it- it was true. After the war, all he ever thought about was of him. Even after death it felt as though he was never truly dead.
Though she was right. This wasn’t good. He knew this himself, and yet he couldn’t just let it go either. Stuck in time- replaying the same moment he struck the final blow. In that moment, it was just them. It was the most intimate they had ever been despite the years they spent with one another. Their heavy breathing combining while Saparata felt their hearts slow, beating rhythmically against the other- until there was only one.
He had won. But the longer he thought about the final fight in the colosseum, he felt he was losing himself. Maybe he had lost himself a long time ago- before Flux had even betrayed him. He was a fool back then, giving his heart away so recklessly. If that’s the case, maybe he deserved this.
“Saps!”, Cass’ voice startled Saparata out of his mind once more. “Have you even been listening to me? You need stop doing- whatever this is!” She looked frustrated but the tinge of worry in her voice gave her away.
Saparata took a moment to look at Cass, to really look at her. Her face was scrunched up into a scowl and she looked tired. Faint eye bags visible, showing just how exhausted she must be. After all, looking after a nation is no small feat. Especially after the war, where her people need her the most.
He felt bad. Truly, he did. He wasn’t the only one feeling this way and yet here he was, acting so selfish. Unable to get better. Unable to change. Unable to get out of the moment the light faded from his amethyst eyes.
Cass shook Saparata to gain his attention. “Saparata!” She shouted, “How many more times will you zone out like this? You need to get out of this state, and you need to figure out what you’re going to do with yourself!”.
Saparata couldn’t keep looking at her. The guilt of wasting her precious time by her having to be here with him while he was just wasting away. “Cass…” Saparata began to mumble. “Saps. You are one of my closest friends. Because you are my friend, I refuse to watch you waste your life like this. Especially after all you’ve done to clear your name.” Cass spoke seriously, giving Saparata no chance to make an excuse.
“I…I know you’re right” He started, “I think I just need to go back to island one. Back to where we last fought, then I think I’ll be able to let it go.” Cass didn’t seem so convinced, but this was the first time since the war that he had willingly chose to go anywhere. Even if it was only talking about it. “Just tell me when you’re planning on leaving, alright?”
Saparata didn’t bother to answer her, he already knew she would somehow know if he went anywhere anyways.
Truthfully, he really didn’t want to go anywhere, especially not the place that has been haunting him. But deep down, Saparata was sure Cass would likely force him to go somewhere he would rather not be if he continued to stayed here longer.
He flopped back onto his bed, no longer bothering to continue maintaining eye contact with Cass. He wasn’t sure if he could take any more of her pitying glances. She probably said something along the lines of checking up on him again soon, like she always does. Soon, it was just him and the aching silence once more.
Everything was just too much. Any more thinking and he might just explode. For now, he’ll just continue to stare at the empty ceiling until he hopefully eventually loses consciousness. Either that or another sleepless night with thoughts of what could have been.
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Hours passed since Cass left him alone and it was rapidly approaching dark. Even so, sleep refused to grace Saparata with its embrace. ‘May as well get up if I have nothing else to do’, he thought to himself. Mentally sighing at the effort he was going to put himself through, just to get up from his spot.
Groaning, Saparata lifted himself from his soft mattress. Joints cracking from the lack of movement in several hours.
He stood still for a while not really knowing what to do. As of recently, the only reason Saparata would get up was only to take care of his basic necessities.
Now, he didn’t exactly want to do anything in particular. Maybe he was a little bit hungry- but it wasn’t a big deal for him. Being on the run for several years does that to a person.
‘Maybe some fresh air will help’, Saparata slowly slid his shoes on. Preparing himself to finally leave this suffocating prison of loneliness he called a home.
He awkwardly shuffled outside. The cool air was truly wonderful during this hour. It reminded Saparata of the person he used to share this with. Walking side by side, unhurriedly. They didn’t talk much but still, it felt meaningful. Saps would consider time and time again if he should reach out, touch him, warm his hand. He always did say it was cold and Saps wouldn’t have minded sharing his heat.
Saparata sighed. This always happened, he would completely space out thinking of past moments that he wished he could bottle up and relive forever with someone else with him. Someone pitch black hair with wisps of purple and the most infuriatingly gorgeous face he had ever seen in his life.
Before long, he was unconsciously walking the same path they used to take together. Except he had spaced out more than he thought he was. Saparata could already see the surrounding forest where his house was located. It didn’t feel long at all, but it sure did drain all his energy.
Right now, all Saparata wanted was to go home. Lie down and continue rotting away in his room. It wasn’t what he had promised Cass. Going all the way to island 1 to finally let go of the memory of him, but it has to have been enough. She knows just how hard he’s been going through it.
Though before Saparata could even reach his entrance, he felt a presence disturb the area before hearing the sounds of sticks and leave crunching against something. It sounded an awful lot like footsteps but that shouldn’t be so. Nobody was awake during this time. At least nobody around his home. He didn’t like people bothering him, and he had made it abundantly clear when he arrived back.
But if that was the case, what was he hearing. He could have blamed it on his sleep deprivation, but he knew better than to distrust his instincts by now. Saparata considered just leaving and not looking back however, his curiosity finally won his mental war between leaving and staying.
Snaking to the place he had last heard the noise- he pushed and stepped as quietly as possible. He didn’t want whatever it was to leave after hearing him.
In the distance, he saw a glimpse of them. Dark colours against the greens of the forest made them stand out even though it was still night. It felt…familiar. A little too familiar. He forego the previous thoughts of being quiet and slow, instead choosing to break out into a full sprint - uncaring how loud he was. All he thought about was catching up.
Saparata quickly caught up, barreling straight into what he could now confidently say was another person- tackling them onto the ground. Saparata dare look up, instead looking directly at the clothing the other individual was draped in.
“Ghk, get off me”, they had said sounding winded.
.
..
…
“Flux?”