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It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is over-rul'd by fate.
When two are stript, long ere the course begin,
We wish that one should lose, the other win;
And one especially do we affect,
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows, let it suffice,
What we behold is censur'd by our eyes.
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever lov'd, that lov'd not at first sight?
He kissed her hand, and courted her with sighs.
--Christopher Marlowe, Hero and Leander
"The Olive Theory is something we came up with, based on Usopp and Kaya," Nami said, raising her slender champagne flute towards Vivi sitting to her left. The narrow rim of the glass, along with the brand-new engagement ring on her finger, gleamed with a silvery light. "She doesn't like olives, but he does. That's why they're so perfect for each other—perfect balance."
It was the fourteenth day of May, the day his friend Nami was proposing to her girlfriend, Vivi. Of course, Vivi said yes—which was why they were all here now, at the bar downstairs from their apartment. To celebrate, Nami had a rare burst of generosity and treated them to a bottle of fine French champagne the bartender opened for them.
"As a friend of Nami's for many years and a witness to this relationship, I have to say a few words," Usopp, sitting across from Nami, raised his glass. "First of all, congratulations on your engagement. Nami, I was right there when you first met Vivi. I knew from your first date that you two would make it, but even someone as wise as I am didn't expect it to happen this fast. What I really didn't expect, though, was that you'd treat us after she said yes. If I'd known that, I would've been nagging you to propose every single day."
"Let's get one thing straight, I'm only paying for this bottle of champagne. If you order anything else, you're on your own," Nami interjected with a laugh, her eyes darting meaningfully towards Zoro.
"Cheapskate," Zoro muttered, the champagne flute looking comically small in his hand. He tilted his head back and downed the drink like water, earning a sharp glare from the orange-haired woman.
He remembered the day of Nami's first date with Vivi too. It was sometime last autumn, a crisp fall day. His friend had come back with rosy cheeks and sparkling eyes. The moment she stepped through the door, she'd flung her scarf and bag onto a nearby chair and announced to Usopp, Kaya, and Zoro, who were all looking up at her, "I think she's the one."
Usopp and Kaya quickly made room for her on the couch, and Nami excitedly told them all about her first date with this girl named Vivi.
"And you know the best part?" Nami grinned, flashing a row of teeth like shells. "She doesn't like olives."
"Oh——" Usopp and Kaya leaned together, letting out a delighted sigh. "The Olive Theory."
"The Olive Theory," Nami winked.
"The Olive Theory." On the fourteenth of May the following year, Usopp picked up an olive from the plate in front of him and said to Vivi.
"The Olive Theory?" Vivi tilted her head, holding her glass, a puzzled look on her face.
"The Olive Theory is something we came up with, based on Usopp and Kaya," Nami explained, raising her glass towards Vivi. "She doesn't like olives, but he does. That's why they're so perfect for each other—perfect balance. It's just a theory, but somehow, in that moment, I just knew she was the one... It was all fate."
"There's no such thing as fate." Zoro's champagne glass was empty again, but Nami had already forbidden him from having another. That witch said if she let him drink without restraint, no one else would get any—"This bottle is a hundred bucks, I'm not letting you guzzle it down like a cow drinking water!" she'd said.
"Oh, look at you, the only one here without a partner. You're like the pet dog they bring along on a double date," Nami retorted.
"Only one? Luffy's not here yet," Zoro said.
"Great, then when he gets here we'll have two pet dogs," Nami snorted, taking a sip from her glass. "When's that guy getting here anyway?"
Vivi glanced at her phone: "He said he was on his way a while ago, should be here soon."
"It feels weird having a get-together without Luffy," Usopp said. "He said he was bringing a friend today, do you know who it is?"
"I heard it's a chef, works at a restaurant in Queens," Vivi said.
"Oh man, a chef? This is right up his alley," Usopp said, dramatically drawing a large cross over his chest. "Hope he wasn't kidnapped by Luffy. I'd rather not go to jail."
"Speaking of which, Zoro, fate or not, I'm genuinely curious... you've never really had a serious relationship since school. Haven't you ever thought about it? Never met anyone who interested you?" Nami squinted with a gossipy glint in her eye.
Everyone turned to look at Zoro, who was drinking the whiskey he'd paid for himself. He simply placed his empty glass on the table and said, "Love just isn't that big of a deal to me. I only need kendo in my life. That's it."
As he spoke, he turned to flag down a waiter for another drink, his gaze casually sweeping across the bar. His eyes landed on the entrance as a young man walked through the door from the bar area. The man had striking blonde hair, with a fringe covering part of his face. On the visible side was an amazing, lollipop-shaped spiral eyebrow, and beneath it, eyes like Napoleon crossing the Alps in a painting. The goatee on his chin was a shade darker than his hair, a lion's mane-like amber-brown under the bar's lights. He wore a navy blue suit over a meticulously buttoned striped shirt, topped with a light trench coat. The bell above the door jingled playfully, and the corner of the blonde man's coat collar was silently lifted by the New York night breeze of May seeping in from behind him, only to settle back against his shoulder as the door closed softly.
"Luffy!" Usopp stood up from the booth, calling out their friend's name. Zoro then noticed Luffy had arrived. The boy, as always wearing his straw hat, had already bounced over to them and high-fived Usopp. Behind him was precisely that dazzling blonde man.
Luffy threw an arm around the man's shoulder, pulling him close, and said cheerfully, "This is my friend I told you about! His name's Sanji, and he's an amazing cook!"
Nami took small sips of her champagne, her cat-like eyes secretly fixed on Zoro's dazed expression, a faint smile playing on her lips. Zoro, across from her, didn't notice her sly gaze. He was just staring fixedly at the man named Sanji, thinking: His eyelashes are gold too.
And there he was.[^1]
***
No matter how scatterbrained Luffy usually was, his judgment was always sharp. Sanji truly was a good guy, and just as Luffy advertised, he had superb culinary skills. He was smart, kind, generous, and warm-hearted, quickly integrating into their little group. They even brought him along to watch Zoro's kendo matches. After Sanji went with him and Luffy to play laser tag, Usopp, the self-proclaimed ruler of laser tag and paintball games in New York, the legendary Sniper King of Brooklyn, couldn't stop praising Sanji's shooting skills and strategic mind. Nami and Vivi gradually started occasionally bringing him along on shopping trips, because according to Nami, he had "excellent taste in aesthetics" and would always bring them exquisitely made snacks.
Logically speaking, although Zoro wasn't as outgoing as Luffy or Usopp, he generally didn't have unpleasant interactions with people he met through friends. But Curly-brows—Curly-brows was different from everyone. First, he was an incurable romantic. In this day and age, even among the girls he knew, none believed in fairy-tale romantic encounters and "happily ever after" endings like Sanji did. Even his flamboyant style of flirting with girls didn't seem from this era, or even the last. It dated back at least to the time of Elizabeth I, when the land of New York belonged to the Lenape natives, not Europeans who had crossed the ocean.
When Curly-brows joined their movie nights, and it was his first turn to pick a film, he chose a romantic comedy that Zoro would never watch on his own. It was about a girl who goes to Harvard to win back her love. Zoro went to the kitchen to get the popcorn and drinks Sanji had prepared. When he came out, the other two couples and Luffy had already occupied one end of the couch, the two armchairs, and the cushion by the coffee table, leaving him no choice but to squeeze onto the empty half of the couch with Sanji. Zoro slept through most of the movie that night. When he groggily opened his eyes, the story seemed to be at the final low point before the climax. A blonde girl with a blurry face on the screen was saying things like "quit" and "mistake." He happened to turn his head and saw Sanji on his right, a piece of popcorn pinched between his fingers, completely still. He noticed Sanji's eyes, under the cold light of the TV, were welling up, like a melting ice cube in a glass of blue martini.
He'd also heard Sanji tell some girl, whose face he'd already forgotten, that her eyes held more peril than twenty of their swords[^2]. He'd heard him say she was more lovely and more temperate than a summer's day[^3]. He envied Nami and Vivi, Usopp and Kaya, saying he too dreamed of finding his own Tracy McConnell[^4], which made Zoro feel an unprecedented restlessness he had to vent through sarcasm, provoking a war of words with Sanji. That would settle him down. His master, Koushirou, taught him that spiritual training was as important as physical discipline. He'd practiced kendo at the dojo since childhood, believing he'd cultivated a mindset where he could remain calm even if Mount Tai collapsed before him. So, he shouldn't have lost his composure so easily. For this reason, he tried to spend more effort on meditation and other calming practices, but it was useless: the moment he saw Sanji, his stomach tied itself into knots. The more he tried to untangle them, the tighter they became, until he felt he would have to cut his abdomen open and snip them all out with scissors, snip them until they were destroyed. This feeling was very foreign, making him feel out of control, and he wasn't used to it—he had long grown accustomed to being the master of his own body and mind.
"I never thought I'd see the day you'd be so completely smitten by someone," Nami said, clicking around their shared apartment in her new high heels, getting ready for the engagement party. "Now I've truly seen it all."
Zoro, already changed into his formal wear at Nami's urging, was playing video games in front of the TV. He paused the game and turned back to frown at her, gripping the controller. "I'm not smitten by that romantic idiot."
"If you're not smitten, how do you know who I'm talking about?" Nami held a necklace up to the mirror, then shot him a triumphant grin.
Zoro's ears turned red. He turned back to hide his embarrassment. "......Shut up," he muttered. "Witch."
"Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?[^5]" Nami sang out in a drawn-out, melodic tone.
"Shut up!" Zoro yelled, his face flushing. A peal of laughter came from behind him.
***
Nami and Vivi's engagement party only included close family and friends, meaning mostly people Zoro knew. He wouldn't have to make awkward small talk with strangers. Although his wealthy guardian had never spared him from such social occasions growing up, it didn't mean he'd learned to enjoy them. But at least he was old enough to drink now, and since the party was conveniently at their apartment, he could always choose to step out onto the balcony for air. The fairy lights they'd decorated the balcony with for Nami's birthday in July were still up. He turned them on, adding the moonlight and the restless lights of New York, plus a good bottle of liquor—it wasn't a bad view. He'd snagged a bottle of Nami's prized whiskey from the bar and was drinking straight from it without regret. After an unknown amount of time, he heard footsteps on the stairs. They weren't the click of the orange-haired woman's heels, so he didn't need to hide the bottle. He didn't turn around until a voice sounded behind him.
"Moss-head?" He turned to see Sanji standing at the balcony door, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. He'd shed his jacket, wearing just his shirt and waistcoat. Before meeting Sanji, Zoro never understood why suits had to be three pieces—jacket, waistcoat, pants. So complicated and constricting. He only grudgingly wore the full set when forced by Mihawk. Today, he'd only put on the jacket and trousers, no waistcoat, and hadn't even buttoned his shirt properly or put on a tie. But Sanji—he rarely saw Sanji out of his suit. He had to admit, though, seeing Sanji's waist wrapped in that waistcoat, maybe the three-piece suit had its merits.
Sanji walked towards him, asking, "What are you doing out here?"
"I live here too, so it's my balcony too," Zoro said. "What are you doing here?"
"Nami-swan said we could smoke up here," Sanji said, stopping to his right and looking outwards. The lights hung on the wall below them cast a warm glow, outlining his features. Zoro could see his face was slightly flushed, probably from drinking—he knew Sanji didn't have a high tolerance, and his fair skin showed the redness easily. "And I felt a bit tipsy, so I came up for some air," Sanji added, pulling out a small lighter. It was almost empty; he flicked it several times before a flame caught. The fire danced in the early autumn breeze, illuminating Sanji's hair until it looked like a glass of spilled honey whiskey.
"You seemed to be having a pretty good time talking to Nami's sister. Why come up here alone to smoke?" Zoro asked, forcing himself to look away from Sanji's profile.
"Nojiko-san is a very charming lady, Moss-head," Sanji said. "And how am I alone? Aren't you here? Well, technically, I guess you count as an aquatic plant."
Zoro turned back to glare at him. Seeing Zoro's exasperated face, Sanji laughed around his cigarette. Even his laugh unsettled Zoro so much... he felt his stomach drop again.
"What's that you've got?" Sanji pointed at the bottle in his hand with the fingers holding his cigarette.
"Whiskey," Zoro said, turning his head forward again. There was nothing special to look at; he just didn't want to look at the annoying guy beside him, so he stared at a red light on the rooftop of the building across.
"Give me some," Sanji demanded, holding out his free hand.
Zoro frowned: "I thought you were already tipsy?"
"Give me some, and I won't tell Nami-swan you stole her prized possession."
"...You're so annoying." Zoro shot him a glare, but obediently handed over the bottle.
"I'm super cute, you know." Sanji snorted, took the bottle, had a sip, and handed it back. As Zoro took it back, Sanji's fingertips lightly brushed his thumb web. Just half a second, but Zoro felt his skin prickle, his hairs standing on end from that fleeting touch.
They stood there side-by-side on the balcony, one smoking, one drinking, neither speaking.
Then Sanji suddenly spoke, "Hey, Moss-head," he asked, "Have you ever been in love?"
Love is a chemical reaction, he thought.
***
From the very beginning of knowing Usopp, he knew Usopp had someone special in his heart—his girlfriend from Nassau County, the daughter of a wealthy family. They had known each other since childhood. Their story was like an urban fairytale straight out of a movie, a modern-day Romeo and Juliet meeting on a balcony in New York. Usopp was always the storyteller among their friends; he told her many tales, half-truths and half-fictions, staying by her side as her health gradually improved day by day, and so they naturally came together. He always carried a photo of that girl with him. The first time he told them his and the girl's story, he showed them the picture. Usopp's stories were always a mix of truth and fiction, but this story had no exaggeration at all. Whenever he talked about that girl, he seemed so earnest, happiness seeping from every word like morning dew on grass blades. After that girl recovered, she set her sights on realizing her dream of becoming a doctor. She enrolled in New York Medical College and was busy every day. Usopp would go to Westchester every weekend to see her. Later, they finally met Usopp's legendary girlfriend, and the way that girl looked at him was like spring rain. Zoro wasn't the one who understood love best, nor did he believe in fairy tales and fate, but they were indeed a very happy couple.
After graduation, when Nami was out with Usopp, she met Vivi and mustered the courage to ask for her contact information. When she came back from their first date, Zoro thought he had never seen Nami so happy. They naturally came together and quickly became inseparable. When spring came, they took a trip far away, across the ocean to the deserts of North Africa. When she returned, Nami told him and Usopp that she had made up her mind—she knew that the soulmate of her life was that girl, and every minute and second of her life hereafter not spent with her would be wasted. Zoro wasn't the one who understood love best, nor did he believe in love at first sight or impulsive whims, but he gave them his blessing.
He wasn't the one who understood love best; he might even be the one who understood it the least. But he never felt he was missing something, that he had missed out on something. He saw his friends finding their place to return to in love in this huge city, but he also saw many people who could enjoy life without love—he was very satisfied with his life. Then the bell above the bar door rang like the noon chimes of St. Patrick's Cathedral as the wooden door opened.
People always first desire what they see in their daily lives. Because they see it, they desire it.
Leander saw Hero[^6]. Paris saw Helen[^7]. Orpheus saw Eurydice[^8]. Antony saw Cleopatra[^9]. Romeo of the Montagues saw Juliet of the Capulets[^10]. Ted saw Robin[^11]. Florentino Ariza saw Fermina Daza[^12].
Then he saw Sanji walking in through the door, accompanied by bell chimes like church bells, light cascading down from above him, his blonde hair shining like sunlight flowing into the night of this Irish pub. He also saw, saw Sanji's tears at the ups and downs of a romantic comedy, blue watery light washing over his lashes like a tide washing over golden sand. He saw again, Sanji standing with him on the balcony, a small flame cupped in his hand illuminating half his face flushed from drink.
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?[^5]
***
The drooping bangs were like a sunlit sheer curtain at midday during a summer nap, making it impossible for Zoro to see the expression on Sanji's face. The cigarette he had just lit was nearly burnt out, leaving only a short half-inch protruding from the filter pinched between Sanji's fingers, the orange ember wrapped in precariously dangling ash like a nut, secretly poking its head out from the middle.
He didn't know what that indescribable thing burning within him under its own shell was, but he knew he wanted to reach out and touch that sheer curtain, to pull it aside, to let the sunlight into the room, to let him see Sanji's expression at that moment.
He reached out.
This was the first time he touched Sanji's hair. Even the texture of his hair was so different from Zoro's own: hair all grows from a person's head, so why was there such a big difference? He really couldn't figure it out, just like he couldn't figure out Sanji. Every sensory stimulation he brought was so new, so full of the unknown, leaving Zoro bewildered every day, every minute, every second since the first moment he saw him, like a compass placed in the polar regions.
Just as his hand touched Sanji's hair, the latter suddenly turned his head, and his thumb pressed against Sanji's cheekbone, separated only by a layer of hair. They met each other's eyes like this, and this also rendered Zoro's hand, which had reached Sanji's face, meaningless in its action, but he didn't pull this awkwardly positioned hand back either. Sanji beside him didn't move away either, just stared steadily at him, then squinted, his lips curving just like his eyes.
"Moss-head," Sanji said with a smile, "What are you trying to do?"
He leaned forward and kissed Sanji.
He was no longer a young lad in his teens; of course this wasn't his first time kissing someone. He had tried it a few times back in school, and then found himself with little interest in either sex or romantic relationships, and hadn't tried again since. This was his first time kissing someone in several years. He had already forgotten what it felt like kissing people before; it was probably as bland as water, which was why it couldn't leave any impression in his mind. But at this moment, even though he was simply pressing his lips against Sanji's, he knew this feeling was right. He hadn't even experienced what "right" felt like before, and no one could tell him, but he just knew—he knew that he absolutely had to kiss this curly-browed guy in front of him, and had to keep kissing him like this from now on. He also knew that Curly-brows absolutely felt the same way. Of course Curly-brows felt the same way; otherwise, why would he actively open his mouth, letting Zoro taste his tongue and bite his lips, and then refusing to be outdone by biting back?
After this kiss ended, they stood even closer than before, so close that Zoro could almost count Sanji's golden eyelashes. Zoro's hand had also moved from Sanji's cheek to rest on Sanji's hip.
"Took you long enough," Sanji said.
"What do you mean?" He stared at Sanji's rosy, moist lower lip.
"You're such an idiot," Sanji sighed.
"Hey!" Zoro protested, and Sanji laughed again. When he laughed, he made a light and annoying breathy sound, making Zoro want to devour every single one of his exhales.
"Don't you remember the day of Nami's birthday?" Sanji said. "That night when I stayed to do the dishes?"
The day of Nami's birthday, they had prepared a surprise party for her on the rooftop, decorating the terrace with fairy lights, and Sanji naturally volunteered to be in charge of the party's food and drinks. Although having a surprise party on the rooftop for several years in a row probably made it less surprising, Nami was still very happy. She drank a lot and got happily drunk for once. After Vivi took her back to her room to rest, Sanji stayed behind to clean up the party mess with Zoro. After clearing several bags of trash, they also swept up the remaining confetti on the floor, and by then it was long past midnight. They went downstairs again, took out the trash, and he saw that it was already very late, so he said to Sanji that if he wanted, he could just crash here tonight, and Sanji agreed.
When they got back to the apartment, Vivi and Nami were already asleep, and the place was silent, with only the light above the genkan still on. He asked Sanji when he wanted to go to sleep, but unexpectedly the other said since he was here anyway, he might as well wash today's dirty dishes too, to save the ladies from facing the kitchen sink disaster tomorrow.
"But you have to help me," Sanji told him, "You're not a lady, so don't think you can get out of it."
"Hey, this is my place," Zoro protested.
Sanji: "This is your place, and you'd make a guest do your dishes alone?"
So in the end, he stood shoulder to shoulder with Sanji in front of the sink washing dishes, with one person responsible for washing and the other for drying. They cooperated pretty well, much smoother than when they participated in the paintball match last time. It's just that somehow, Sanji had to call his name every time he handed him a dish. After several times, Zoro couldn't help but say: "Can't you just hand it to me quietly?"
"Hmm..." Sanji chewed on his unlit cigarette, put on a troubled expression, pretended to think for a moment, and said, "Well... no."
"...Why are you so annoying?" Zoro said.
Somehow, hearing him say this, Sanji instead chuckled softly. His laughter made Zoro's throat itch with annoyance.
Fortunately, after washing the dishes, Sanji simply made him a drink. The two of them later had a few simple drinks in the living room, and actually chatted peacefully for a while, which was rare. This guy not only cooked well but also mixed drinks decently; he just couldn't hold his liquor very well, his face turning pink from drinking, and he fell asleep not long after. So Zoro carried him to his own bed, covered Sanji with a blanket, and made do on the couch for the night. He slept quite soundly.
***
"I remember," Zoro said. "What about it?"
Sanji rolled his eyes dramatically: "That night I gave you at least five 'signals'."
"Signals? What signals?" Zoro frowned.
Sanji's mouth twitched, his voice rising: "Signals for you to kiss me, you idiot!"
"There's no such thing as signals in this world!" Zoro's voice rose too.
"But there is! Why else would I have touched your hand like that?" Sanji's voice went even higher—they were practically yelling in each other's faces now. "If I didn't know how you're always staring at me, I'd have thought you weren't interested!"
"When was I ever staring at you?!"
"Oh, come on, Moss-head." Sanji rolled his eyes again, even bigger this time. "Last time we watched Legally Blonde, you were either snoring next to me or drooling over my face. Nami-san and Vivi-san kept looking over at us that night. Didn't you notice?"
"...Why would I notice them?" Zoro felt his face burning. He just hoped the dim rooftop lights would be enough to keep Curly-brows from noticing his blush. "And I wasn't drooling."
"Fine, you weren't drooling," Sanji said. "But you're still the biggest idiot under the sun. Nami-san told me you were dense, but I never imagined you could be this dense."
Zoro was sure his face was even redder now: "You're one to talk, wagging your tail after every woman you see!"
"I'm just appreciating and complimenting ladies' wisdom and beauty, because I'm a normal person with eyes!"
"What normal person flirts with every woman in a bar!"
"I was just—" Sanji started, then suddenly stopped. He stared straight at Zoro for a few seconds, his angry expression melting into a delighted smile. He even leaned in closer, until their noses were almost touching. "Moss-head, you..." He tilted his head, each word seeming moistened, rolled around in his mouth before being uttered, "...are you jealous?"
Hearing this, Zoro almost jumped—he was now convinced he must look exactly like a shrimp boiled in hot water. Seeing his strong reaction, Sanji laughed smugly. Not only laughed, but also reached up with the hands that had been gripping Zoro's shirt front, one arm on each of Zoro's shoulders. Watching him laugh so arrogantly right in front of him, those lips he had just kissed red swaying before his eyes, Zoro felt a surge of anger mixed with embarrassment. He bit those lips, not holding back, drawing a muffled groan from Sanji. And because Sanji's mouth was blocked by Zoro's, when he groaned it vibrated against Zoro's lips, tongue, and even teeth.
This kiss of theirs was much messier than the last time. While they were kissing, Sanji's arms looped around Zoro's neck, and Zoro's arms wrapped around Sanji's waist. After they finished kissing, Sanji bit his lip and glared at him: "I didn't ask you to kiss me."
"You told me to look for 'signals,' so I looked," Zoro argued.
"That wasn't a signal!" Sanji stomped on his foot. "You don't even know what a 'signal' looks like!"
"I'll know when I see it," Zoro pinched Sanji's waist.
"You don't know anything," Sanji rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "Remember paintball?"
Zoro was puzzled: "What does paintball have to do with it?"
"Oh, you know nothing, Roronoa Zoro," Sanji said, looking at him.
***
June 6th. Historically known as the Paintball Incident. It marked the beginning of the war between Zoro and Sanji. To this day, people gather every year on June 6th to drink and celebrate this day heavy with the smoke of gunpowder. (Voiceover: Usopp)
Actually, it started simply enough: Nami saw an ad for a big paintball tournament. The tournament itself wasn't important, but the winning team got a two-hundred-dollar prize. Nami immediately decided they had to enter. After all, with the formidable team by her side, winning that two hundred dollars would be like reaching into her pocket. So Luffy, Usopp, Zoro, and Sanji signed up as the "Straw Hat Pirates." It started smoothly enough. The four-man team cruised through to the finals without much trouble, and June 6th happened to be the day of the finals.
But you don't get to the finals without meeting worthy opponents. They found themselves in a tough battle against the "Foxy Fast Draw" team. To make matters worse, Zoro and Sanji started arguing loudly on the spot for some reason, nearly costing them the victory. But at a critical moment, as if struck by sudden inspiration, the two cooperated and executed a combo move, successfully allowing Nami to claim the two-hundred-dollar prize.
Afterwards, of course, came the celebration. They came back to the apartment Zoro shared with Nami, ordered pizza, opened some beers, and for once didn't make Sanji, who had worked hard all day, do any cooking. Zoro was his usual self, falling asleep in a chair in the living room after eating and drinking his fill. When he opened his eyes, the living room light was off. A jacket had been draped over him. Luffy and Usopp were sprawled messily on the sofa and floor, and Sanji was covering them with blankets.
He just stared at Sanji like that, without making a sound, until the other straightened up and carefully stepped over Luffy lying on the floor as he turned around, just in time to see his face, nearly scaring a curse word out of him.
"You damn Moss-head, you're awake and didn't say anything, you scared me!" Sanji whisper-shouted as he walked toward him.
Zoro stretched his two arms out from under the jacket draped over him, lazily stretching in the chair: "Any beer left?"
"Some in the fridge, get it yourself." Sanji lifted his leg and gently kicked his knee, then instructed, "Keep your voice down."
Leaning against the fridge, drinking his beer, he suddenly heard a scream from the bathroom. Although it didn't wake the two sleeping soundly in the living room, Zoro, being awake, rushed to the scene as fast as he could. When he got to the door, Sanji was standing there with a face full of lingering fear, facing the closed wooden door of the bathroom.
"A door scared you this much?" Zoro said.
"It's inside, there's a cockroach in there!" Sanji's voice was distorted.
Zoro was speechless: "...How exactly have you managed to survive this long in New York?"
"Less talking, go in there and take care of it!" Sanji grabbed his shoulder.
Killing a cockroach naturally didn't take Zoro much time. When he came out of the bathroom, he looked at Sanji waiting by the door and couldn't help showing a triumphant smile: "Still afraid of cockroaches?"
"Mind your own business!" Sanji glared at him, his face completely flushed as he spoke. "Done?"
"What, you want to see the corpse?" This guy usually acted so arrogantly and loved to argue with him, just like during the paintball match that day. It was rare to see him so flustered, so Zoro thought he might as well tease him a bit.
"No!" Sanji said quickly. He peeked in and saw the bathroom was safe, then slipped past Zoro inside. Zoro casually blocked him with his elbow, poking Sanji's side. He hadn't used any force, but for some reason Sanji let out a small, light yelp.
"What now, another cockroach?" Zoro turned back to look at him.
"It's nothing, I probably bumped into something this afternoon," Sanji said, lifting a hand to rub the spot on his lower back that had just been bumped as he walked over to the bathroom mirror. "Looks like there's a bruise."
"This is what happens when you don't exercise enough," Zoro said, following him to the mirror.
Seeing him approach, Sanji turned his head and snapped fiercely: "What do you want? I'm getting ready for bed!"
Zoro ignored him, crouched down, opened the bottom cabinet under the sink, pulled out a small box, fished out half a tube of ointment, and held it out to Sanji.
"What are you doing?" Sanji took it.
Zoro looked up at Sanji: "You bumped yourself, right? This stuff works well."
Sanji held that tube of ointment in his hand, his eyes dropping down to meet Zoro's. His face wore a strange expression, and he was biting his lip. He looked like he wanted to say something, but ended up saying nothing.
In the delicate silence, Zoro inexplicably opened his mouth: "Want me to help you apply it?"
"...You want to help me apply ointment?" Sanji was momentarily stunned.
Zoro thought quickly. He had plenty of bumps and bruises from practicing kendo, and had suffered some more serious injuries too. Although he didn't pay much attention to them himself, since childhood the senior female students at the dojo would grab him and apply ointment. At home, Perona would help him put on medicine. After moving out, Nami would also occasionally help him apply medicine (though he always felt Nami just wanted to use this opportunity to extort money from him). Helping apply some ointment was no big deal, right? Probably not a problem? Thinking this, he said to Sanji: "If you want me to help you, no problem."
Sanji's expression grew even stranger as he looked at him, but he was only silent for a moment, then said: "...Okay, but I need to get ready for bed first."
"I'll wait for you in my room." Zoro stood up and walked out.
While waiting for Sanji in his room, he didn't pay much attention to the time, only vaguely feeling that he had waited quite a while. He didn't know why Curly-brows needed to take so long just to get ready for bed. When the knock on the door finally came, he was startled, realizing he had almost fallen asleep. He opened the door, and Sanji stood at the entrance, lips pressed together, clutching that tube of ointment in his hand. Seeing his face, Sanji gave a small, awkward wave and said "hi" with a wry smile.
Zoro walked back to the bedside and sat down on the bed, patting the spot on the bed in front of him. Then Sanji followed and sat down in the spot before him.
"Where's your bruise?" Zoro asked him.
Sanji didn't speak, just pointed to a spot on his lower back toward the side. Zoro tilted his head and looked at it, feeling that the bruise's location seemed a bit low, so he said: "Why don't you lie down? It'll be easier to apply lying down."
As he spoke, Zoro even shifted back a bit, making room for Sanji to lie down comfortably. Sanji glanced at him, then slowly lay down on the bed in front of him like a strip.
"It's here, right?" Zoro pressed gently on that spot on Sanji's side with his finger, heard a muffled "mm" from the face buried in Sanji's own two thin arms, and then lifted that corner of the shirt, revealing the bruise underneath.
He already knew Curly-brows was fair-skinned, but he hadn't realized that the skin hidden under his clothes, which rarely saw the sun, could be this pale. And the paleness of the surrounding skin made the bruise on his waist, like a patch of dark purple mist, look even more exaggerated. Seeing it, Zoro frowned too: "How did you get such a big one?"
"Who do you think did it?" Sanji had to turn his head awkwardly to glare at him, then buried his face back in his arms, like an ostrich encountering an enemy—wouldn't he suffocate himself from lack of oxygen? Zoro wondered.
"It's because you don't exercise enough yourself!" Zoro said, but he deliberately gentled his touch as he applied it. The feel of Sanji's skin reminded him of when he was a child and would stick his fingers into snowdrifts on snowy days. Actually, Sanji's body temperature wasn't as cold as the snow on Lake Akan, but somehow just the tip of his finger touching it gave him a chill, making him shudder, and it seemed to want to wriggle like a snake into his body through his fingers, staining his entire limbs with that half-bit of coolness, piercing him so that even his heartbeat skipped half a beat. He thought to himself that he really was weak-willed and needed to strengthen his training. If it were the end of the year, he could go winter swimming, but now it was June, so he adjusted his breathing and decided to treat applying medicine to Sanji as part of his willpower training.
After applying the ointment to Sanji, he learned from the way the senior female student had taught him to massage himself and began massaging that spot in circles. The moment his ointment-covered hand touched Sanji's skin, Sanji let out a sound like a little mouse squeaking from within his arms, drawing a laugh from Zoro.
"What are you laughing at, asshole!" Sanji protested muffledly. "If it were you, you'd do the same!"
"Hmph, I wouldn't be like that," Zoro said proudly, rubbing Sanji's side, warming his skin with his palm.
"Do others apply medicine for you too?" Sanji suddenly asked him.
"When I was little at the dojo, the senior female students would apply it for me." Although they really didn't massage him, Zoro thought, and then he lifted the hem of his shirt a little more to the side. "Isn't there more here?" he said, then went to get more ointment.
Sanji didn't respond to him, but after a while said: "Is your senior the same big, handsome sister who was next to you during your last match?"
As soon as he heard this, Zoro got annoyed again: "Don't you be thinking about her." He checked to confirm Sanji had no other injuries, then snapped the lid back on the ointment, reached out and patted Sanji's shoulder, saying, "Get up."
Sanji slowly shifted his body and sat up, but made no other move. Zoro turned to look at him and found him staring. He used that gaze, more powerful than twenty swords, to stare at Zoro intently for half a second, then suddenly, out of nowhere, said: "And then?"
"What 'and then'?" Zoro was completely baffled. "And then I'm going to sleep. If you want the bed, I can sleep on the couch."
For some reason, Sanji's face flushed even redder. He stood up abruptly, kicked Zoro, tossed out an "I'll sleep on the couch," and ran off without looking back, leaving Zoro alone, utterly bewildered.
***
"I totally gave you signals," Sanji said.
"Those weren't signals," Zoro said. "Only when someone recognizes them do they count as signals."
"Every human on earth could tell those were signals!" Sanji wrinkled his face as he looked at him. Even this expression of feigned disgust could tightly grip Zoro's gaze, making him stare as intently as when he watched Sanji cry over romantic movies. "Of course, judging you by human standards might still be too harsh, since you're a Moss-Star alien from the Planet Moss."
"You're the idiot curly-brow, the romantic fool," Zoro said. "Always hanging around women all day, how the hell would anyone know what you're thinking?"
"Oh, come on, I'm French." Sanji shrugged like Usopp usually did. "L'amour est un oiseau rebelle. (Love is a rebellious bird)[^13]"
Zoro could only stare blankly: "What does that mean?"
"Heh heh." Sanji smiled at him. His smile was especially annoying among all his expressions. At times like this he would smile at him, his eyes squinting like a smug fox when he smiled, revealing half a row of teeth, smiling until Zoro burned with irritation and just wanted to bite him. "You guess?"
"I'm not guessing." Zoro turned his face away, and Sanji stuck his golden head in front of him to keep smiling at him. "Why are you so annoying?"
Hearing him say this, Sanji instead smiled even more brightly. Something flowed from his curved eyes, like the autumn wind and bright moon on this small rooftop in New York tonight, though what was in his eyes was invisible and intangible, like some combination of the two. But just as hair gets blown by the wind and faces get illuminated by light, even around invisible, intangible things, one can see the impact of their existence. In this case, Roronoa Zoro was precisely the observable object affected by this interference. This unknown interference could cause a series of abnormal physiological reactions in the object, such as accelerated heartbeat, elevated blood pressure, pupil dilation, abnormal salivation, and other unusual physiological responses. According to historical observation records, this interference had also existed at the bar downstairs from the apartment on the evening of May 14th of this year.
Just by seeing that person, his gaze, which was more powerful than twenty swords, would be fixed upon him. Even the compass would malfunction at the pole. Just one look, and even the city of Troy would fall.
In the end, Sanji reached out a hand toward him, saying that since he'd finished smoking, he should go back inside. He instinctively took that hand, and only then thought to ask why.
Sanji said matter-of-factly: "Couples hold hands."
So he accepted.
The End