Jane and Lily caught

It's all Marly's fault.
He just had to mention 'Jane from Montreal' during an interview. And then JJ went and tweeted about 'Boston Lily'.
And sure, Shane and Ilya are out and married now, but there are some things they had managed to keep private, their burner twitter accounts for one. But with the names Jane and Lily out there and their apparent 'very recognizable talking patterns' it took the internet 0.5 seconds to find them. And now Shane and Ilya have to deal with their friends publicly reacting to things they thought would forever remain anonymous.
Surprising everyone, Ilya is the one suffering the most.
Or.
The Admirals, Metros and Raiders react to Hollanov burner accounts tweets.

Notes:

For stereden.

This is technically related to my 'Ilya Rozanov breaks his silence on the Scott Hunter kiss' fic but can absolutely be read on it's own.
I did not include the centaurs because I'm not as familiar with their dynamic as I am with these characters so it can be interpreted as an AU were they get found out pre-Ottawa (in which case ignore the dates), or simply assume that the Centaurs are roasting them on the group chat and not twitter (Harris does not deserve to deal with the fallout, after all). I hope you enjoy it!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

1/97? Really, @ShaneHollanderOfficial?

JustJane @Jane1221 · Aug 21

@Admiral21Hunter here’s a thread because you are just wrong. Reasons why Rozanov is better than Hunter 1/97

11:14 AM · Jun 12, 2021

31.8K Retweets 2.9K Quote Tweets 125.6K Likes

Carter Baby @AdmiralCarterVaughn · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

And we thought Roz was whipped.

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @AdmiralCarterVaughn

My husband likes me a lot. Also this is what the stats say 🤷

JustJane @Jane1221 · Aug 21

That’s unrelated. This thread is purely based on their stats.

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

Wait, is 1221 the room number @IlyaRozanovPlayer gave to @ShaneHollanderOfficial on the ice after breaking my shot accuracy record or am I going insane?

11:17 AM · Jun 12, 2021

41.7K Retweets 4.7K Quote Tweets 134.6K Likes

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

Good memory for someone so old

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @IlyaRozanovPlayer

Go fuck yourself Rozanov

Carter Baby
@AdmiralCarterVaughn

Didn’t they break that record during their FIRST ALL STARS???

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12

Wait, is 1221 the room number @IlyaRozanovPlayer gave to @ShaneHollanderOfficial on the ice after breaking my shot accuracy record or am I going insane?

11:18 AM · Jun 12, 2021

62.1K Retweets 6.7K Quote Tweets 158.4K Likes

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @AdmiralCarterVaughn

Shhhhh 😉

JJ
@JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

ON THE ICE?! Captaine!!

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12

Wait, is 1221 the room number @IlyaRozanovPlayer gave to @ShaneHollanderOfficial on the ice after breaking my shot accuracy record or am I going insane?

11:23 AM · Jun 12, 2021

62.4K Retweets 4.5K Quote Tweets 139.7K Likes

Marly @Boston#7 · Jun 12
Replying to @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Roz you’re a goddam legend

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @Boston#7

What he is is a fucking moron, can’t believe it took this long for them to get caught

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

😏😏😏

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

Stop sending me Rozanov’s burner tweets. I’m aware that 70% of them are just variations of his ‘Scott’s old’ jokes.

11:31 AM · Jun 12, 2021

52.4K Retweets 6.2K Quote Tweets 167.3K Likes

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

Yes, I’m also aware that the rest are Hollander thirst tweets. I don’t want to read those either.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

No, the fact that Pike is also catching strays, does not comfort me.

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

@HaydenPikeMetros, should we report Rozanov somewhere for harrassment? Maybe snitch on him to his husband?

11:43 AM · Jun 12, 2021

37.8K Retweets 2.9K Quote Tweets 98.7K Likes

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

Won’t work, his husband finds him funny.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

Tragic.

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

I know, but there’s something we can do that will actually bother him.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

Oh?

Jackie's Husband
@HaydenPikeMetros

Awww, @ShaneHollanderOfficial, @Jane1221 look, your husband likes me:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Oct 24

Pike may be the 15th best player in Montreal but that does not mean that Drapeau or Comeau are better than him.

11:47 AM · Jun 12, 2021

48.3K Retweets 9.3K Quote Tweets 174.5K Likes

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

Stop. And don’t tag my husband.

Fuck Yeah, Metros
@Joeoldtimeyhockey

Pike is an embarrassment to the Metros and if he misses one more goal, I will go to his house and show his wife what a real man is like.

20:43 AM · Apr 1, 2018

706 Retweets 547 Quote Tweets 915 Likes

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Apr 1
Replying to @Joeoldtimeyhockey

Jackie has standards, sorry.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey · Apr 1
Replying to @Lily1410

They can’t be too high considering who she married.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Apr 1
Replying to @Joeoldtimeyhockey

High enough to rule you out.

Fuck Yeah, Metros @Joeoldtimeyhockey · Apr 1
Replying to @Lily1410

Good thing I wasn’t planning on asking for her opinion.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Apr 1
Replying to @Joeoldtimeyhockey

Send me your address and say that to my face.

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @Lily1410

I also want that address.

Jackie's Husband
@HaydenPikeMetros

Suck it @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Jan 16

Okay, I will explain because you all do not get it. Montreal’s best players are:

1. Shane Hollander
2.
…
15. Hayden Pike
…
18. Bouzair
…
69. The rest.
…
100009. Drapeau
100010. Comeau

Hope this helps.

12:07 AM · Jun 12, 2021

31.8K Retweets 7.1K Quote Tweets 162.9K Likes

JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

He called me the 24th best player last time we talked???

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

I wonder why he dropped you in the rankings 🙄

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

I like the way you think,@HaydenPikeMetros:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Mar 3

Scott Hunter may be a hundred years old but he’s braver than your sorry ass will ever be.

11:53 AM · Jun 12, 2021

66.6K Retweets 11.4K Quote Tweets 192.7K Likes

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

I don’t like it here.

Pucks in the Net
@AllHockey2453

Hockey is no place for the likes of Hunter.

21:12 AM · Nov 14, 2019

4.3K Retweets 1.2K Quote Tweets 12.7K Likes

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Nov 14
Replying to @AllHockey2453

Old people?

Pucks in the Net @AllHockey2453 · Nov 14
Replying to @Lily1410

Weak fags that need to be treated like especial snowflakes or they melt.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Nov 14
Replying to @AllHockey2453

Weak fags = people that can get cross-checked by Pierce and keep playing???

Pucks in the Net @AllHockey2453 · Nov 14
Replying to @Lily1410

I don’t care. If you suck cock, I don’t want you in my sport.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Nov 14
Replying to @AllHockey2453

‘Your sport’? How many games have you played? And beer league does not count.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @Lily1410

@ShaneHollanderOfficial, did you know your husband is sweet?

Shane Hollander @ShaneHollanderOfficial · Jun 12
Replying to @ScottHunterAdmirals24

I did 🙂

RoRoRozanov @IlyaRozanovPlayer · Jun 12
Replying to @ShaneHollanderOfficial

Betrayed by my own husband

Marly
@Boston#7

Pike and Hunter’s campaign to destroy Roz is hilarious but we have moved too quickly from the whole ‘Hollander is whipped’ conversation.

12:10 AM · Jun 12, 2021

51.3K Retweets 10.9K Quote Tweets 162.4K Likes

Marly @Boston#7 · Jun 12
Replying to @Boston#7

I knew my man was a legend but here’s what The Shane Hollander has to say about it:

JustJane @Jane1221 · Sept 5

Is it not enough for Rozanov to play like a god, he has to look like one too?

The Rose Landry @actressRoseLandry · Jun 12
Replying to @Boston#7

Oh, I like this game

Marly @Boston#7 · Jun 12
Replying to @actressRoseLandry

Rose Landry?! Big fan even though my captain almost murdered us that time you stole his boyfriend.

The Rose Landry @actressRoseLandry · Jun 12
Replying to @Boston#7

I gave him back 😇

Connor x (1+s) @BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial · Jun 12
Replying to @actressRoseLandry

And we all thank you for it, we would not have survived any more bag skates.

The Rose Landry
@actressRoseLandry

I get it @ShaneHollanderOfficial:

JustJane @Jane1221 · Nov 10

Anyone else feels the need to giggle and kick your feet whenever Rozanov winks at the camera or is that just me?

12:13 AM · Jun 12, 2021

100.4K Retweets 40.8K Quote Tweets 494.5K Likes

Connor x (1+s)
@BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial

Roz got skills:

JustJane @Jane1221 · Feb 28

Why are people acting like getting three or four orgasms during sex is a marathon? Are your partners like really bad in bed?

12:15 PM · Jun 12, 2021

42.7K Retweets 14.7K Quote Tweets 175.4K Likes

Hammering All Day Long @BradHammersmithRaiders · Jun 12
Replying to @BostonRaidersConnorConnorsOfficial

I’m kind of scared of them to be honest:

JustJane @Jane1221 · Apr 17

I don’t know what our record is? I mean there was this time where we hit double digits but we don’t usually count them? Also it was maybe more than one day? I was not paying attention but I feel we went over the 24h mark, does that still count as one session?

Marly @Boston#7 · Jun 12
Replying to @BradHammersmithRaiders

Dude, they are beasts:

JustJane @Jane1221 · May 4

Oh, we had this problem, too. It’s why we usually avoid hotel beds, you can never know how sturdy they are. You shouldn’t worry though, the staff will be nice and the added fee is not too expensive. Walls are usually fine but if you break one, the fine is far worse.

Miles
@MilesActs

I was offended that @ShaneHollanderOfficial declined to be set up with me but then I saw a picture of his husband. All I can say is that I completely agree:

JustJane @Jane1221 · Oct 18

Ilya Rozanov should not be allowed to wear a shirt. Ever. But especially during post-game interviews.

12:17 PM · Jun 12, 2021

99.4K Retweets 38.8K Quote Tweets 455.2K Likes

JJ
@JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

HA! I found a nice one about me too:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Nov 6

No, it was not dirty check, Dagenais is smart enough to avoid getting a penalty during third period of Game Fucking 7. Also there’s no such thing as ‘too rough’ when you are checking Dallas Kent.

12:40 PM · Jun 12, 2021

59.8K Retweets 3.2K Quote Tweets 134.5K Likes

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Have you been looking for one the past half hour? Also it’s not even that nice…

JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

Fuck off, let’s see how fast you find another nice one about you.

Jackie's Husband
@HaydenPikeMetros

10 seconds 😎:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Jul 13

Pike is a good husband and a great father. Also an okay hockey player sometimes. You are just jealous that he has Shane Hollander’s number and you don’t. Also that his wife is hot.

12:40 PM · Jun 12, 2021

29.8K Retweets 8.3K Quote Tweets 182.5K Likes

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

I think I will get this printed on a t-shirt.

JJ @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey · Jun 12
Replying to @HaydenPikeMetros

How did they force that out of him? Waterboarding?

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @JeanJacquesDagenaisHockey

Nah, they started by insulting my children (apparently being a father makes me a worse player?) and then they made jokes about stealing my wife and putting my kids up for adoption because “they’d be better off there than with me” 🙄

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses
@Lily1410

Hunter should retire already..

22:12 AM · Sep 14, 2020

1.3K Retweets 922K Quote Tweets 10.7K Likes

Make the Admirals Great Again @WeUsedToBeLegends · Sep 12
Replying to @Lily1410

Finally a girl who gets hockey! Good to see that you haven’t been brainwashed by the woke agenda.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Sep 12
Replying to @WeUsedToBeLegends

What is woke?

Make the Admirals Great Again @WeUsedToBeLegends · Sep 12
Replying to @Lily1410

Is when people try to shove their sexualities down your throat.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Sep 12
Replying to @WeUsedToBeLegends

Don’t worry. You are too ugly for Hunter to shove anything down your throat. Also I think he says please first.

Scott Hunter @ScottHunterAdmirals24 · Jun 12
Replying to @Lily1410

Context for the next tweet of@IlyaRozanovPlayer being nice to me.

Scott Hunter
@ScottHunterAdmirals24

Yes this is a nice tweet, go look at my previous one to understand why.

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Sept 5

I should clarify: Hunter should retire already because he is older than the pyramids.

12:47 PM · Jun 12, 2021

31.7K Retweets 1.8K Quote Tweets 108.7K Likes

Shane Hollander
@ShaneHollanderOfficial

@HaydenPikeMetros, @ScottHunterAdmirals24 could you please stop? Ilya is about to have a meltdown.

12:50 PM · Jun 12, 2021

214.2K Retweets 105.7K Quote Tweets 382.7K Likes

Jackie's Husband @HaydenPikeMetros · Jun 12
Replying to @ShaneHollanderOfficial

Nope ❤️

Scott Hunter @Scott Hunter · Jun 12
Replying to @ShaneHollanderOfficial

Rook, I’ve waited years for this.

Make the Admirals Great Again
@WeUsedToBeLegends

The Admirals should fire Scott for that stunt.

8:14 AM · Jul 5, 2017

41.8K Retweets 5.4K Quote Tweets 132.9K Likes

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Jul 5
Replying to @WeUsedToBeLegends

Great idea! It will be a lot easier for Boston to destroy them if they get rid of their best player.

Scott Hunter @Scott Hunter · Jun 12
Replying to @Lily1410

Awwww @IlyaRozanovPlayer, you think I’m the Admirals’ best player?

Jackie's Husband
@HaydenPikeMetros

It’s okay, @IlyaRozanovPlayer, I promise I don’t (completely) dislike you:

LiliesAreBetterThanRoses @Lily1410 · Aug 12

How did you manage to change her opinion? My bf’s bff hates me too and I need to fix it so my bf doesn’t get sad or leaves me. I’m very charming and joke with him a lot, and I get along really well with his wife. His children adore me also. Any advice?

12:52 PM · Jun 12, 2021

73.1K Retweets 9.24K Quote Tweets 142.6K Likes

RoRoRozanov
@IlyaRozanovPlayer

This is libel. I will sue.

12:55 PM · Jun 12, 2021

90.3K Retweets 35.6K Quote Tweets 299.3K Likes

Notes:

Again, I have to admit that I don't use twitter so I hope there isn't anything to out of place.
Also, I wanted to add a small conversation between Shane and Ilya as text messages but I don't have the energy to figure out how to code it and use the twitter workskin at the same time so I'm adding it here:
They are ruining me!!!
Stop being such a drama queen! Considering that your branding is ‘asshole with a heart of gold’ you should be paying them for all this PR
Yuna, could you please return the phone to your son?
Oh, fuck you. Keep whining, see if I care.
Touchy
I’m not!
But I wanted to ask you something
What?
Nothing
Is our sex life weird?
Our sex life is fantastic
Yeah, I know
But have you read what the people are saying about my tweets?
Why would I when I can reread your thirst tweet instead?
Will you tell me I play like a god while I fuck you tonight?
If you want?
But like, is what we do really insane?
Hollander, sex is like hockey
Like hockey?
Yeah
We play at our level, the rest of the world play at theirs
Oh
So when you call me a god tonight, will you be wearing my jersey?
…
Only if you wear mine too.

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