Archive of Our Own

Gon was waving his hand in front of Killua's face, and the teasing lilt in his voice brought Killua crashing back down to Earth. He straightened up from where his chin was resting on his palm, clearing his throat as he played with his hoodie strings. He willed himself not to blush, but he could feel his cheeks heat up anyway. How long had Gon been trying to get his attention?

"Whatcha looking at?"

Killua forced himself to take another bite of his shortcake, looking Gon straight in the eyes as he chewed. Better just not to act like he wasn't glowing as red as the strawberry on top of his cake. Nothing out of the ordinary going on here at all. It was totally normal to daydream about kissing your best friend.

"Nothing," he said through a mouthful of frosting.

Gon nudged Killua's foot with his own under the table and gave him a smirk, shaking his fork at him.

"Yes, you were! You were staring at meee," he said, elongating the last word as he leaned in closer, waggling his eyebrows. Killua kicked Gon in the shin. Why did he have to be so fucking loud? People were starting to stare.

"Idiot. I was just waiting for you to let your guard down so I could do this." He reached across the table and stole one of the macarons off Gon's plate, popping it into his mouth.

"Too bad. You snooze, you lose, jackass." Killua made to snatch another pastry, but Gon held his plate out of arm's reach this time. He quickly stuffed his face with his remaining macarons and cookies, nearly choking as he tried to chew them all in one go.

Killua couldn't help but laugh, even when Gon was red-faced and coughing out crumbs onto the tablecloth.

When he could breathe normally again, Gon laid his head down on the table and pointed weakly at Killua. "That was your fault," he groaned.

"Pfft. Was not." Killua scraped the last bit of frosting off his plate, licking his fork clean.

"Was too."

"Was not!"

"Was t—hrgh!"

Killua lunged over the table, clamping his hand over Gon's mouth. God, he was so fucking obnoxious sometimes. What cosmic power did Killua piss off to be cursed to think this idiot was cute? "Can you please just shut up?"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he realized his mistake. It was like it happened in slow motion. Gon's eyes sparkled before something slimy and wet slid across Killua's palm.

"EW!" He pulled back immediately, wiping his hand on his hoodie.

Gon stuck his offending tongue out at Killua. "Hehe, I win!"

Killua sighed, cramming his hands in his pockets and sinking down in the booth. "You're so gross, you know that?"

"Yeah, but you love me," Gon said, finally taking a napkin and wiping his chocolate-covered mouth.

Fuck. Killua pulled his hood over his head and groaned. He wished the floor would do the decent thing and swallow him whole right now. He felt hot and itchy all over. He couldn't take Gon saying things like that while staring at him with his dumb, idiotic, adorable face.

"Oh! Look!"

Gon thrust his used napkin at him. Killua cringed at the state of it before leaning in to take a closer look. Numbers were written on it in blue ink, slightly smudged underneath Gon's chocolate smears. 

"That waitress gave me her number," Gon said in a stage whisper, leaning in with a hand covering his mouth. He swung his legs back and forth under the table in glee, his eyebrows wiggling suggestively.

Killua's stomach, which had been doing an almost pleasant swooping thing just a second ago, turned to ice and dropped to his feet. It was really quite admirable that he didn't grab the napkin and rip it to shreds right then and there. He gripped the edge of the booth instead, so hard his fingers started going numb. The numbers, written in a too-swirly girly handwriting, seemed to mock him. 

Who did that stupid waitress think she was, butting in like this where she didn't belong? Where she clearly wasn't wanted? 

In his periphery, Killua saw the waitress giggling with her coworkers on the other side of the restaurant. He guessed she could potentially be considered cute, if you were into that sort of thing. The sweet taste of the frosting he had just eaten turned to ash on his tongue. If Killua stayed in this cafe any longer, he was actually going to commit murder. He stood up without warning, slamming a few hundred jenny onto the table and grabbing Gon by the sleeve.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. You're done, right? Let's get out of here."

Gon nearly tripped as Killua pulled him out the door. "Hey, wait up!"

Gon shook Killua off, jogging a couple of steps to catch up with him. He pulled the hood off of Killua's head and grabbed him by it to stop his momentum, all but strangling him.

"You're so grumpy today. I thought the cake would cheer you up."

Killua pushed Gon off him, coughing. “Shut up,” he grumbled, rubbing at his throat. 

"Come on, Killua," Gon whined. He poked Killua's cheek. "So cranky."

Killua just scowled harder. He was not going to give Gon the satisfaction of a reaction, no matter how much he wanted to bite his finger off. He needed to stop giving in as soon as Gon started whining, or it was going to bite him in the ass someday.

"What, are you jealous of this?"

Gon took the napkin out of his pocket and waved it in Killua's face. When had the little shit even grabbed it off the table?

"What?! No, dumbass! I'm not jealous of your dirty, crumpled-up napkin." Killua turned away and stuffed his hands in his hoodie pocket. "Idiot."

"Methinks thou doth protest too much," Gon said, wrapping an arm around Killua's shoulder as he started walking through the town square again. He poked Killua's ribs for good measure, tightening his arm around him to keep him from squirming away. 

"Aw, Killua, don't be jealous. I'm sure the ladies would be all over you if you'd just smile at them for once. You're so handsome!" 

Gon patted his cheek, and it took everything in Killua not to trip over his own feet. He had to concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other, not on the weight of the other boy's arm around him, not on Gon’s warm breath that smelled like vanilla and sugar. He was sure Gon could feel the heat radiating off his face. His stomach was back to doing cartwheels, and if he was being honest, he kind of felt like he was going to throw up. 

"I said, I'm not jealous!" Killua tucked his chin under the collar of his hoodie as far as it would go. "Besides, she was like, twenty-five, Gon," he mumbled. "You're thirteen. That's gross."

Gon just laughed. He slid his arm from around Killua's neck, and Killua felt a split second of disappointment, which was fucking ridiculous.

"I can help you get girls' numbers, if you want," Gon offered. "It's easy."

Killua rolled his eyes and congratulated himself on how very calm and collected he was acting, despite Gon's every word smashing his heart with a hammer. "Not interested. And I don't need your help doing that, Gon."

"So what's the problem?"

Gon had stopped in his tracks. Killua turned back to look at him, only to be faced with Gon's furrowed brow and a slight frown.

That wasn't fair. Killua was the one with the hurt feelings here. Killua was the one who had to endure Gon being a fucking oblivious idiot every fucking day, driving Killua crazy with his doe eyes, and bright smile, and cute hair, and—

"I feel like I messed up somehow, but I don't know what I did."

Gon just stared at him, waiting. Killua's mind whirred, trying desperately to come up with at least a half-convincing lie to get Gon off his back, but he kept coming up empty. His stupid brain never fucking cooperated when he needed it to.

"I don't know, Gon. You're just always going around being overly friendly to everyone we meet. Why do you have to go and do that all the time? It pisses me off."

Gon's frown deepened. "So you're mad because I'm... friendly?"

Killua cringed at how stupid that sounded, but that was basically exactly what he'd said, wasn't it? He put his hands in his hair and groaned.

"No! I just—I don't know."

Gon closed his eyes, face scrunched in thought. Killua's fingers twitched with the desire to smooth out the wrinkles on Gon's forehead.

After a moment, Gon opened his eyes and raised a finger. "I think I get it. You're worried I'll make a new friend and stop spending so much time with you, right?"

Gon grabbed Killua's hand with both of his own, and Killua's whole body lit up, an electric spark traveling up his arm and down his spine like it did when he used his Godspeed. He suppressed a delighted shiver at how right Gon's warm, dry hands felt wrapped around his own.

"That won't ever happen, Killua. You're my best friend."

Killua hunched his shoulders to hide the blush crawling up his ears. He wanted to hear those words all day, every day. No matter how many times Gon said them, it wouldn't be enough. He was so greedy that he disgusted himself.

"I have lots of other friends, but you're my Killua! No one could ever replace you."

And for some reason, Killua didn't do the smart thing, which would have been to accept this amazing turn of events of Gon holding his hand and shut the fuck up. Instead, he opened his big fat mouth. "Yeah, but girlfriends are different, Gon."

Gon shrugged. "Nah, they're really not. The only difference is you hold their hands and say mushy stuff and kiss sometimes, and I already have you for that." He laughed and changed his grip on Killua's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Except for the kissing part, I guess."

Gon stuck his tongue out between his teeth and squeezed Killua's hand twice, grinning that blinding grin at him. Christ on a bike. Killua's mouth ran dry. He swallowed, unable to tear his eyes away from where the mist sparkled on Gon's hair. 

He couldn't help but tighten his grip on Gon's hand. He couldn't think over the frantic beating of his heart in his ears. Why did Gon have to say idiotic, confusing stuff like that so sincerely? Killua was usually pretty good at bottling up his feelings, tucked away nice and tight in a dark corner of his mind. But sometimes, the bottle was under so much pressure, and Gon just wouldn't stop shaking it, Killua felt like he was in danger of projectile vomiting out everything he had ever wanted to say but didn't.

Before Killua could do something very, very stupid, Gon let go of his hand and wiped his palm on his jacket with a sheepish smile.

"You're so clammy."

Killua ripped his hand away from Gon, spluttering as he stood up. He wiped his palms on his thighs self-consciously, but Gon just laughed again. 

"What the hell, Gon?!"

Killua lunged at him, shoving him straight back into the fountain. Unfortunately, Gon wasted no time in dragging Killua into the water with him by his sweatshirt. They both wrestled and splashed each other, Killua holding Gon's head under the water until the other boy slapped his arm for air. 

He came up with his hair plastered to his forehead, the rare sight distracting Killua just enough that he wasn't able to dodge the jet of water Gon spat directly at his face.

"GROSS!"

Killua dove for Gon, careful not to hit the back of his head on the bottom of the fountain. Gon laughed maniacally when he came up for air again, hitting Killua with a huge splash that also soaked some unfortunate passersby.

Killua's clothes were drenched, and his hair was full of nasty fountain water, but he didn't care at all. Gon was gross, and infuriating, and stubborn, and stupid. But he had also been right, what he said back at the cafe. 

Killua would endure whatever cold they were going to catch a million times over if it meant Gon would stay looking at him always.