Work Text:
Alright, so: sometimes life doesn't work out. Lofty goals, aspirations, big plans, it's all fun to dream about, but dreaming doesn't take effort. The reality is that work is work. Being a cop wasn't what it was cracked up to be, and when even an airhead like Lynne can pass the detective exam but you can't, it might be a sign for a career change. Working the SIU prison isn't what Kobozu expected to be doing with his life now, but it's better than his mom's idea of joining a monastery so, hey.
Being the new guy means he gets second shift. Long hours of nothing but watching three guys sleep in their cells. Long hours of figuring out how to entertain himself with whatever's laying around the guard office. Long hours of Bailey.
Officer Bailey is technically his superior and technically the highest ranking officer on the night shift, but you'd never know it from the way he acts. He's knowledgeable, sure, but he's constantly on the verge of some kind of breakdown. He's also a hoot to rile up, though Kobozu is learning to do that in moderation; even if smacking the emergency button leads to funny reactions he doesn't want to get written up too often.
He's also ridiculously built. It might be all of that dancing and jittering, but even that doesn't give most people an ass so round. Bailey hasn't yet commented on Kobozu's tendency to stare at it, or maybe he's just too lost in his anxiety to even notice. Tonight he's all nervous energy, doing the same ridiculous dance that makes his uniform pants go all taut in the best and worst ways possible. Kobozu is resolved to ignore him, ankles kicked up on his desk and counting how many of the ceiling tiles have cracks in them. He's up to fifty six when he gets interrupted.
"I wonder!" Bailey gasps every few syllables, low on breath, "When! I should stop! Dancing!"
Fifty seven. "Whenever ya want, Bailey."
"Does that mean! You'll take over for me!?"
"Nope." Kobozu pops the P like gum. Hey, he should bring in gum to work, that might stave the boredom off for a whole five minutes. Maybe even an extra ten if it's banned in the rulebook and Bailey goes on a tirade about that.
"You should at least! Turn around and! Watch! So you can learn something!"
Hm, this tile has two cracks in it, should he up the count to fifty eight or fifty nine? "Don't think that's what you're supposed to be trainin' me on." Better to leave it at fifty eight, Kobozu decides. He sighs and spins around lazily in his chair. "I can't stand lookin' at it. If you don't stop, I just might hafta pound ya…"
It's cop talk; pretty normal to threaten to beat up the annoying coworker you're stuck with. Kobozu would know; he's usually the annoying coworker.
But, for some reason, Bailey freezes. His eyes bulge out from under the low brim of his hat, hands still in the air. Is he actually going to stop dancing under threat of violence? Kobozu never thought he'd see the day. He's pretty sure Bailey would wipe the floor with him, actually, but whatever works…
They stare at each other a moment longer; Kobozu opens his mouth, about to comment, and then Bailey starts dancing again. Faster. Even more frantic, somehow, and this time trying to keep eye contact the whole time.
Kobozu groans, spinning back around. "Seems to me like you want to get your ass beat."
Bailey's footsteps continue clacking about the room behind him. "Um! I wouldn't! Be opposed!"
What is this guy's problem? "I can't believe a tight-ass like you would actually want to throw down at work." Kobozu leans back again, feet back up on the desk, daring Bailey to comment. Now, where was he?
"It might be better! If we!" Bailey's voice is getting extra high now, like he's huffed helium or something. "G-go out! After work!"
Kobozu rolls his eyes. "Of course you wouldn't want to rough up the office. I really don't think our boss will care if I thump ya here or in the parking lot."
The squeak that Bailey lets out has Kobozu tipping his head back even further, looking at him upside-down.
In the two months he's been here, Bailey has made a lot of faces. Many of them nervous, but Kobozu's never seen him bright red like this. He's flushed all the way down his neck; angry, maybe? Shit, maybe things went too far this time. He's still dancing, though.
"Uh, are you good?" Kobozu kicks off the desk, spinning back around. He's already forgotten how many cracks he's counted. "Ya look like you're gonna pass out or something. Look, we really don't have to fight. I'm just ribbin' you."
"Oh!" Bailey blinks repeatedly. His dance slows, though he doesn't stop. "You meant— you meant fighting! Right! Right!" He collapses backwards into his chair, which spins with the impact. Normally, that's accompanied with a stiff arm and a loud groan, but instead he just turns around and hunches over his desk.
Kobozu stares after him. Bailey's posture is usually ramrod straight to an absurd degree; this is the first time he's seen him like this. If Kobozu didn't know better, he'd think that Bailey looks dejected.
"Hey, Bailey." No response. "What didja think I meant?"
Bailey straightens back up, back to that ridiculous stance that tempts Kobozu's mind further south when he's on the clock. "Nothing!"
"Uh huh."
Kobozu watches him write something down and pin up another memo. Surely something inane.
There are only so many ways to read this. Bailey wears his heart on his sleeve and his heart is usually on the verge of cardiac arrest. Whether or not to do anything about it is the real question; this might blow up so bad in Kobozu's face that he'll get shafted to an even worse beat. But at least the downward spiral will be more interesting than counting cracks on the ceiling.
Kobozu stands and walks the short stretch across the linoleum floor. He spots the way that Bailey tenses as he gets closer.
"Y'know, you suck at lying." Kobozu grabs the back of his chair and spins it around. "So I'm gonna ask you again: what were you thinkin' about?"
Bailey stares straight ahead, into Kobozu's chest, instead of looking up at the way he's leaning over him. "I wasn't t-thinking about anything."
Most of the time, Bailey's constant nerves get on Kobozu's nerves in turn, turning them into a perpetual cycle of annoying each other until it's time to clock out. But, for once, the stutter is honestly kind of cute.
"Yeah, you were." The fact that Bailey isn't looking at him is a problem, so Kobozu knocks his hat clean off his head, which falls to the floor with a soft, hollow thunk. That gets Bailey's attention and his head snaps up, eyes wide. "I wanna hear you say it."
For once, Bailey is silent, mouth opening and closing like a fish. Kobozu considers leaning down and kissing him already, but there's three more hours in their shift so he might as well draw this out.
"Some thoughts need to stay inside your head! Especially at work!"
Kobozu rolls his eyes. Leave it to Bailey to care about decorum. But it does tell him he's on the right track. "So you're sayin' you don't want to rough up the office with me?"
Bailey opens and closes his mouth again, then protests, "You never mop when I tell you to!" which, yeah, fair.
"Oh, you're thinkin' that level of mess?" Kobozu can't help but grin.
"I'm just s-saying there are better places!" Bailey eyes flick away for a moment, and his cheeks get even more flushed. "Maybe with dinner beforehand…"
Now it's Kobozu's turn to be shocked into silence.
They stare at each other for a moment longer, then they crash forward. It's a messy kiss, lips sliding hot and wet against each other immediately, Bailey's hands coming up to fist in Kobozu's collar and pull him closer. Kobozu has to catch himself on the back of the chair to keep from falling over, not wanting to pull away for even a moment.
But then Bailey shoves him away. "Wait!" Kobozu freezes. "We're at work!"
"Ya still care about that?" He leans down to kiss him again, but Bailey turns away at the last moment, leading to Kobozu planting wet lips to his cheek. "C'mon," he groans, voice going low against his ear, "it's not like we've got anything better to do than each other."
Bailey makes a noise between a squawk and a laugh and, this time, lets Kobozu kiss him. Now it's slower, exploratory. Not careful, exactly, but Bailey's tongue is gently prodding at Kobozu's lips and then sliding into his mouth in a way that has them both groaning.
When they pull away this time, Kobozu finds himself breathing hard, hunched over crushing himself against Bailey's chest. And Bailey is smiling; Kobozu's pretty sure he's seen him smile before, but not like this, all smug and content. With an expression like that, the words he says next should be sweet. Instead, Bailey says, "You should get back to work."
Kobozu groans, leaning his head against Bailey's shoulder. "Isn't this more important?" He presses a kiss to his neck, right above the crisp line of his uniform collar.
"Nope!" Bailey spins his chair away from him and Kobozu sputters, catching his balance against the desk.
Kobozu stares at his back as he writes something down on a piece of notepaper, then stretches up to pin it to the corkboard. At least for the first time it's fine if he stares at his ass, but, "Seriously? You're just gonna pretend nothin' just happened?"
Bailey glances back at him. "Of course something happened!" He leans down to pick up his cap, dusting off the top and reaffixing it firmly on his head. "But for now there's work to be done."
"No, there isn't!" Kobozu protests. "There's never anything to do here!"
Bailey spins back around, shuffling some papers into a folder. "There's always work to do if you look for it."
"Yeah, that's 'cause you go lookin'," Kobozu grumbles.
"And besides," Bailey says, not looking back at him, "we both have tomorrow off. I'll see you at Chicken Kitchen at six o'clock, sharp."
Kobozu blinks a few times, then stumbles backwards, stumbling over the wheels of his desk chair and collapsing into it. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, that works."
"Actually," Bailey stretches back slightly, tapping a pen against his lower lip. "Maybe aim for 5:45, since you're always a few minutes late."
Kobozu chuckles, spinning back around. "Screw you, man." Always work to do if you look for it, huh? He kicks his feet up again. Maybe the prison does need to know which tiles are cracked and might need replacing. Now where was he? Ah right, crack number fifty seven. And there's fifty eight—
"That's what tomorrow is for."
Kobozu laughs in surprise, leaning back to find Bailey grinning at him.
It's gonna be a long shift.