Chapter Text
Throughout their high school years, Shane and Ilya broke up at least twice a year. Every time Shane had initiated it as well, and every time Ilya would get Shane back, not that it was hard. Before we get into their third breakup, let’s rewind to the start.
Ilya was a foreign exchange student studying at Shane’s school to experience the “Canadian lifestyle,” whatever that meant. He transferred a week into their Junior year. Shane remembers that day clearly. He was in the third period, AP Precalculus, sitting next to Rose, when someone knocked on the door. Shane paid no mind but did notice that the loud class had fallen silent, even Rose, who was rambling about the school play she was in, had stopped mid-sentence. Shane finally looked up and saw this freakishly tall person’s back. He was at his teacher’s desk, holding a piece of paper. His teacher looked at the paper, looked up, and gave a warm, broad smile. She rose from her chair and walked to stand next to the guy’s figure, who had yet to turn around.
“ Class, if I can get your attention, please! This is Ilya Rozanov, he’s our new foreign exchange student from Moscow, Russia. Ilya, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me or any of your new classmates. I’m sure they’re more than willing to help! You can take a seat right over there. “ Ms.Knight said while pointing at the empty seat in Rose’s and Shane’s table group.
Ilya gave his new teacher a polite smile, ignored all the stares he was getting, and quickly walked to his seat. He let out a sigh as he sat down and looked up at his new classmates. Ms. Knight walked up to the table and handed Ilya the materials he needed.
“ Ilya, this is Shane and Rose. If you need any help during class, don’t be shy about asking. I’ll give you guys some time to get to know each other before we start. “ Ms. Knight said with a warm smile, Ilya didn’t understand how she could smile so much and look like she meant it. All his teachers back home looked angry or just done with the day, but not here. Here, the teachers said hi to students in the hall, talked to them with care and attention, and, not to mention, the classroom and the whole school were warm. This classroom was so different from his old math class. His old class was just rows of desks and had the coldest lighting. It was just bleak, but here was the complete opposite.
The lights were dimmed, a scent diffuser made the class smell like cinnamon, fairy lights lit up the whole class, and the kids here looked like they were enjoying themselves. Ilya finally looked at his new classmates, Shane and Rose, whom he had just found out about. He looked at Rose first, who gave him a small but nice smile. She was pretty and looked nice, but then again, everyone here was nice.
“Hi! I’m Rose, it’s nice to meet you. “ She said as she extended her hand for him to shake.
“Hello,” Ilya said, taking her small hand into his, giving her a firm shake.
Then, like a cliché, the world stopped. Ilya was met with the most beautiful face covered in the most beautiful freckles he’d ever seen. He felt his heart stop for a second, but quickly composed himself. The beautiful face had yet to say anything to him, just staring into his eyes.
Like Ilya, Shane’s world stopped as well. Well, it had stopped when Ilya turned around to introduce himself to everyone. God, how could someone look this hot during high school? Shane knew he still had a bit of baby fat, and, well, he didn’t look like he'd just walked out of a magazine shoot. Ilya was tall, had a dream face, adorable, soft-looking hair, and had the most beautiful eyes Shane had ever seen on someone. He felt his heart beating wildly as his teacher pointed to an empty seat right in front of him, and his heart beat even faster when Ilya looked at him. He would’ve continued being in a daze if it wasn’t for Rose nudging him, giving him a side eye.
“Oh. Hi, I’m Shane. It’s meet to nice you. “ Crap! Shane closed his eyes in embarrassment. Way to make a good first impression. How did he mess up that badly? He could see Rose from the corner of his eye, laughing at his mistake.
“ I-i’m mean it’s nice to meet you. “ Shane said as his face reddened, he wanted to crawl into a hole and die, especially when he heard a small chuckle from Ilya.
“ Da. English is hard. “ Ilya said with a smirk. Shane slightly glared at his remark, which only made Ilya smirk harder.
And that was the start of them. Ilya asked Shane to show him around, then it turned into Ilya hanging out with him, asking him to tutor him, asking him out on a date, and finally asking him to be his boyfriend.
Now, back to why Shane broke up with Ilya for the third time.
It was their senior year, and it was October. Shane and Ilya were in their free period hanging out in the library. Ilya was watching Shane type like a madman on his poor laptop. Shane was writing his college application essays and wanted to make sure they were perfect. And Ilya was lying down on the desk, just watching Shane, or looking at his phone, attempting to entertain himself.
“ Gimme kiss. “ Ilya said with a pout.
“ Not now. “ Shane said firmly.
Ilya let out a huge, exaggerated sigh, to which Shane rolled his eyes, too.
“ You know, you should start writing your college essays or start the application. “ Shane had been telling Ilya for months to start applying to colleges and looking into them. They were seniors now, and it was time to start thinking about their future, but, as usual, Ilya said he would do it later.
“ Boring stuff, I’ll do later. Now gimme kiss.” He said while puckering his lips. Shane closed his laptop, and Ilya knew Shane was annoyed, especially when he saw his face turn into an angry kitten.
“ You said that a month ago. I’ve been trying to give you space, but deadlines are approaching, you know that, right? Have you even checked out the colleges I sent you? Or have you talked back to the colleges that want you? “ Shane didn’t even let Ilya have a chance to answer.
“ No. You haven’t. I don’t even know why I asked. You’ve just been doing whatever it is you do. “ Shane said with a tone that made Ilya get annoyed. Ilya quickly got up and felt his eyebrows furrow.
“ Jeez, Hollander, I thought you’d have more faith in me. Yes, I checked boring colleges you sent! “ Ilya said, which had been a lie. In fact, he hadn’t checked Shane’s messages about those colleges or thought about the scholarships he was offered. He was actually in the process of being drafted, but hadn’t told Shane in case it didn’t work out.
“ Oh, yeah? Did you like Horton University? I had a feeling you might like that one.” Ilya relaxed at Shane’s softening expression.
“ Da, yes, looks like good school,” Ilya responded. He watched Shane let out an annoyed scoff.
“ Yeah? How could it be a good school if it doesn’t exist! I knew it, I knew you didn’t check. And you know what? It’s fine, it’s your future, not mine! “ Shane felt himself get embarrassed when he realized how loud he was talking in the library.
He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and continued.
“ You know, I’ve been thinking, and I need to be with someone who cares about their future. Someone who makes plans, organizes, and cares about their life. Let’s take a break, I just need to clear my head right now, “ Shane lied as well. He hadn’t been thinking about this for a while; it was more like a week ago, but still. He hated how Ilya was throwing opportunities away like nothing. His heart ached when he saw Ilya’s eye widen in shock.
“ Hollander, you can’t be serious. I will look at boring colleges, okay? We don’t need break-“ Shane can hear the desperation in Ilya’s voice, but he just raised his hand in front of Ilya’s face.
“ I just need some space. “ Shane said as he walked out.
That argument had been a week ago, and Ilya had been taking every chance he got to talk to Shane. He was blowing up his phone, asking Shane’s friends to relay messages to him, attempting to walk Shane to his classes, calling his house phone, hoping Shane would answer, and even skipping class to go to Shane’s class. Which only made Shane madder. It was another day of Ilya trying to get Shane back, and Shane was tired. He saw Ilya coming up to him and Hayden and braced himself for another one of his attempts, but it never came.
Ilya stared at Hayden, and Hayden quickly got up from sitting and muttered a quick “I gotta go do something. ” Leaving a confused Shane.
Since when did Ilya and Hayden hang out together willingly? He kept his eyes on him until they went out of sight.
“ So what did you come up with? ” Ilya whispered to Hayden.
“ Only the best idea ever. Trust me, I tried to on Jackie after the fifth time she broke up with me, and it worked like a charm. ” Hayden said with a satisfied shrug.
Ilya would never ask Hayden for anything, but he was desperate, and it led to desperate measures. He had approached Hayden during their first period when he realized Shane wasn’t going to talk to him anytime soon. So he approached a surprised but smug Hayden.
“ I’ll help on one condition. ” Hayden said, not caring for Ilya’s glare.
“ Well!” Ilya asked, already done with this conversation.
“ Let me borrow your motorcycle. I want to impress Jackie when I pick her up from our date. ” Ilya’s motorcycle, which did cause another argument between him and Shane over it being dangerous and stupid and whatever else he had said.
“ You can’t even drive it?! " Ilya replied, not wanting his bike to be crashed.
“ Not true! I’ve driven lots of dirt bikes, plus, how hard could it be? ” Ilya just looked at him and nodded. Not that he trusted Hayden, but he knew he wouldn’t put himself or Jackie in danger if he really didn’t know, plus he really needed his help. Shane told Hayden everything.
“ Okay. So what do I do to get Shane back? ” Ilya asked.
Shane had dinner with his parents, did his homework, showered, and got into bed. He thought about messaging Ilya, but didn’t want to reconcile at 10 pm; he was tired, and whenever they got back together, Ilya would want to talk on the phone all night. Not that Shane minded, but he was really just tired and wanted those full 8 hours. He thought about Ilya and how he looked really cute today, and felt himself drift off.
*Twack
*Twack
*Twack
He woke up to something hitting his window. He rubbed his eyes and approached his window carefully. He felt his eye bulge out when he saw Ilya throwing pebbles at his window.
“ HOLLANDER! TAKE ME BACK PLEASE! “ Ilya yelled.
Oh my god! What is he doing!? He’s embarrassing me! Shane thought. He opened his window and saw Ilya let out a relieved smile.
“ Ilya, go back home now!” Shane said in a direct tone.
“ Not until you take me back, malysh! I need you, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I can’t work without you, Shane! I need you so bad, I’m nothing without my malysh. I LOVE YOU, SHANE! “ Ilya yelled the last part even louder. Then if Shane didn’t think it could get worse. It got worse.
Ilya saw Shane’s mad expression had grabbed the lighter in his pocket and lit up the sparkler Hayden had given him before putting his phone’s volume all the way up, playing his and Shane’s favorite song.
“ Shane, this is for you!” Ilya yelled. He watched as Shane’s eyes turned in shock. And Shane could feel himself about to cave, because while yes, he was embarrassed and yes, he could see his neighbor’s lights turn on from the loud commotion, he also felt loved. This big, bulky Russian is outside his house begging Shane to take him back, not caring what people might think of him.
“ Ilya, my parents will kill you! Go home, I’ll call you later. ” Shane said with a smile. He saw Ilya reciprocate, but he wasn’t going back without a confirmation that they were back.
“ I’ll go back, just please take me back, lyubimyy! I’m down on my hands and knees! ” And he was, Ilya, had dropped to his knees, with his arms raised towards Shane, pleading him.
It was cute, romantic even. Just as he was about to forgive him, one of the sparklers had fallen over his mom’s garden and had started a small but growing fire. Ilya, not noticing, continues to sing(out of pitch) the song playing on his phone.
“ Ilya! “ Shane yelled.
“ Ilya!! ” Shane screamed this time, and finally, Ilya looked to where Shane was looking.
“ Oh shit! ” Ilya scrambled and quickly went up to somehow make the fire go out. He took off his jacket and started to twack it against the growing fire.
Suddenly, the porch light went on. Crap. He looked up to find a very confused and angry Mrs. Hollander, behind her, a worried Mr. Hollander carrying a fire extinguisher.
Mr. Hollander quickly turned off the fire, and silence loomed over them. The garden full of flowers was burned to ashes. Ilya glanced back at the door and saw red-faced Shane.
“ Ilya. Get inside now. ” Mrs. Hollander said in the scariest voice ever, Ilya quickly nodded.
He wasn’t sitting with three very different Hollander, each with a different expression on their face.
“ Shane, what was Ilya doing here this late? ” She questioned.
“ Shane had nothing to do with this. Swear. I was just trying to get Shane to talk to me. ” Ilya didn’t want Shane to get in trouble for his mistakes, and he knew Shane’s worst fear was making his mom mad at him.
“ Honey, let’s just take a minute. ” David softly said to his wife, rubbing her arm to soothe her. Yuna sighed, pinched her eyes shut, and then opened them.
“ Ilya. Go back home now. ” She directly said.
“ I’m very sorry. Mrs. Hollander, I will fix garden for you. ” Ilya really messed up this time and wouldn’t be surprised if Shane never talked to him again. I mean, he almost burned his house down.
“ Ilya, please just go back home. David can drive you back. ” Even when she was mad, she still cared enough about him to get home safely.
“ It’s oka-” Yuna quickly shushed him and before he knew it, he was in the car with Mr. Hollander.
It was a quiet car ride. Ilya liked Shane’s dad; he was really nice and calm. Plus, he often did things that might seem small to other people but were big to Ilya. He made sure his house had Ilya’s favorite snacks since he would come over often. It was the little things that made him feel more than just Shane’s boyfriend.
“ So, what happened between you boys? ” He asked carefully.
“ Shane broke up with me… again. ” Ilya whispered. David let out an amused laugh.
“ Isn’t this like the third time for you boys? What happened this time? ” He asked with a smile.
Ilya was used to swallowing down his feelings and thoughts. Especially when it came to older people, not that he was calling Shane’s dad old, but rather, Ilya’s dad never cared about Ilya and his thoughts. Especially feelings or thoughts that were anything but anger. But here it's different, it’s good.
“ Shane said I don’t care about my future, that he needs someone who makes boring plans and goes to boring colleges. ” Ilya said with a tad bit of defensiveness.
David let out a small hum.
“ I see. Well, he gets that from his mom, they both love making detailed plans. I actually remember Yuna saying the same thing to me. ” He said with a gentle laugh.
“ Really?! ” Ilya exclaimed.
“ Yes! I might not know exactly how you feel, but I think I can get the picture. I might not have known you for long, but I know you, kiddo. I know you take your time, but eventually you make the best decision. Although, today was a very stupid decision you made. But I know you care about your future just like Shane knows. He wants the best for you and is trying to control it as much as he can. ” David said, glancing once in a while at Ilya, with a warm expression.
“ I know he cares. It’s just sometimes I feel like he has no faith in me. ” Ilya confesses, he surprised his own self when those words slipped out his mouth.
They had reached Ilya’s host house.
David turned to Ilya and put his hand on Ilya's shoulder, with a gentle but firm touch.
“ Son, if there’s anyone who has the most faith in you. It’s Shane, trust me. He won’t stop talking about how amazing you are and all the scholarships you’re getting offered. You’d think he was getting these scholarships, but he worries, you know, especially about people he loves. Now, I won’t let your host parents know about tonight, but you will help me repair Yuna’s garden. ” David said, and Ilya couldn’t believe people like this exist. He truly thinks his dad would’ve killed him or done something of equal value.
“ I’m really sorry. I will make sure to repair and pay for all damages. " Ilya said with his head down.
“ I know, you are, son. Yuna knows, too. Now go inside. “ Ilya nodded and muttered a small goodbye before quietly sneaking back into his house.
The next morning, Ilya dreaded going back to school. He knew him, and Shane was most likely officially done. He should’ve never listened to Hayden! Ilya skipped his 2nd and third periods, not wanting to see Shane. But it was getting hard, since the universe was somehow making Shane appear wherever Ilya was.
Finally, it was his last class, which was a free period, and he would’ve gone home, but he didn’t want to leave just yet. He just needed some peace to clear his emotions and head.
Ilya had walked into the library and made direct eye contact with Shane, who was sitting at the table they always sat at. Ilya quickly walked back out. He couldn’t see Shane, not when he knew what was coming.
Meanwhile, Shane was trying to get some time alone with Ilya. But this time, he was avoiding him. When he saw Ilya walk out of the library, he knew he had to go after him. He quickly gathered his things and ran to him.
“ Ilya! " Shane yelled.
“ I know you can hear me!” Shane yelled even louder. Finally the tall figure stopped in his tracks.
It was then that Shane noticed the sad expression on Ilya's face. He felt his heart churn.
“ Can we talk? ” Shane said finally reaching him. He felt Ilya tense up but nodded.
“ You want to talk in my car? ” Ilya asked, and Shane nodded. They walked in silence, and the car was silent.
Ilya gripped the steering wheel before turning to Shane.
“ I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean to burn your mom’s garden. ” Ilya avoided Shane’s eyes.
“ Yeah. That was pretty stupid of you. My mom was pissed, but my dad seemed to calm her down. And i’m also pretty pissed at you. ” Shane could see Ilya’s grip on the steering wheel turn white.
“ I’m mad but also really- I liked it. “ Shane confessed.
Ilya eyes widened.
“ It was stupid and immature, not to mention embarrassing. But! I thought it was the most romantic thing ever. Had you not burned my mom’s garden, I would’ve probably forgiven you that night. I’m sorry about what I said in the library. I want what's best for you. ” Shane said with tears brimming his eyes. He didn’t understand what had me so emotional, but he just felt like he was going to tear up.
“ Can I kiss you. ” Ilya asked, whispering it as if he wanted to mask it in case Shane declined.
Shane nodded, and Ilya cupped his face and gave him a gentle but passionate kiss. A kiss that said, I missed you, I love you, and I’m sorry.
“ I love you, Ilya. ” Shane said in between kisses.
“ I love you so much more than you could ever know. ” Ilya replied.
“ Can we not be on break? ” Ilya asked.
Shane smiled against Ilya’s lips.
“ I guess. Seeing you on your knees last night did make me feel better. ” Shane let out a chuckle that made Ilya’s heart swarm.
“ But, my mom said you aren’t allowed to stay late anymore, you got curfew now, Rozanov. ” Shane mused.
“ What a cruel punishment, taking precious time away from you. ” Ilya’s hand clenched his heart as if it was hurting.
“ Shut up,” Shane said while laughing.
Ilya grabbed Shane’s hand and kissed his knuckles.
“ Want ride home? ” Ilya asked, Shane nodded, and they spent the entire time smiling as if they had just started dating for the first time.
When they got to Shane’s house, Ilya was met with Mr. Hollander holding gardening tools, as if he knew he was coming.
“Right on time, kiddo,” David said with a smile. Ilya smiled back and grabbed the tools from David’s hands. The garden was… a mess, to put it lightly. Ilya really felt bad as he throwing burned flowers away.
“ So, im guessing you guys made up. ” David asked, looking down.
“Yeah, we didn’t talk too much about me and colleges, but we’re okay,” Ilya said. David just let out a small hum in approval.
It was already 7 pm, and they had just put down fresh soil and planted new seeds.
“ Boys, come inside, dinner’s ready! ” Yuna yelled from the front porch.
They all sat down, and Ilya was really nervous to see Yuna again. She was a very scary person when she wanted to be.
Ilya chewed his food slowly, not wanting to disturb any more than he already had.
“ Ilya, what happened last night better not happen again. I’d like to have flowers that aren’t burnt. ” Yuna said as she raised one of her eyebrows.
“ I’m really sorry, Mrs. Hollander. I swear it will never happen again, and I will fix it until it is better. ” Ilya said, and Yuna’s eyes softened at the frightened boy.
“ It’s okay, honey. But actions have consequences, so curfew. You and Shane can’t hang out past 8 pm; no more sneaking Ilya in, Shane. Yes, we know. And the door opened whenever you went into Shane’s room, okay? ” Yuna says.
“ Yes, ma’am. ” Ilya said shyly.
“ Okay! Now, Shane was telling me you got some offers from schools. I’d be happy to take a look for you and make sure which ones offer the best benefits. " Like mother like son, Ilya thought.
“ Mom! ” Shane widened his eyes and Ilya could see they were having a conversation with their eyes.
Ilya cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.
“ It is fine, Shane. I actually picked school already. ” Ilya confessed that, that night when Shane broke things off, Ilya did end up picking a university that offered a full-ride athlete’s scholarship. He hadn’t accepted yet, but he did email the recruiter to let them know he was interested. He just wanted a safety net. The next upcoming game would determine his chances of getting drafted, and he didn’t want to get any hopes up.
“ Oh? Well that’s great, sweetheart! “ Yuna exclaimed.
Shane and David both let out joyful sounds.
“ What school? ” David inquired.
Before meeting Shane, Ilya really didn’t care about what school he’d get into, or didn’t. But after meeting Shane, he realized he couldn’t live without him near and he’d never get into the schools Shane applied to based on his grades. So when he got athletic scholarships from schools Shane was thinking of going to, he saw his chance, but again, getting drafted was a whole other dream.
“ Harvard. ” Ilya said, and forks clattered on plates.
Everyone looked at him in shock before getting up to congratulate him.
“ Ilya, that’s amazing! ” Shane said, Yuna and David both gave Ilya a big hug and Ilya was happy. He really was, but deep down, he knew he didn’t really want to go to university, but they all looked so proud, and he didn’t want to ruin that.
They continued dinner while excitement buzzed through the air. Even though Ilya was on curfew, Yuna let today pass.
Shane and Ilya were lying down, faces to each other.
“ Ilya you’re gonna love it over there! ” Shane said, his smile so big it tugged on Ilya’s heartstrings.
“ Could we talk about something else? Not boring school, please. ” Ilya didn’t want to talk about the future; he just wanted the present. He wanted to talk to his Shane, not whatever tomorrow brought.
Shane nodded.
“ So, why was Hayden posting pictures of him and your bike? ” Shane laughed out.
Oh god, Ilya forgot he let him borrow it.
“ He did me favor, so I do him favor “ Ilya said with a shrug.
“ Was the favor those sparklers you almost burned my house with? ” Shane remembered Hayden talking about giving someone sparklers, but didn’t really pay much attention to him.
Ilya let out a small laugh and nodded, not gonna tell him that it was actually Hayden’s whole idea to serenade Shane.
“ Sucks, you got curfew now. I wanted to go for a ride. ” Shane teased.
“ Oh yeah? Well rules are meant to broken. ” Ilya cupped Shane’s face and gently kissed him.
“ Let’s not push my mom. She’s was already cool with the whole garden incident. ” Shane said.
Ilya laughed against Shane’s lips before they started to make out. It’s passionate, not rushed; each kiss is sweet and memorable. It’s just them in the world, and no one else to disturb their love.
“ Okay, I think that’s your cue to go home! ” Shane’s mom said while knocking on his door. Right, they forgotten the door was open.
Shane's face turned red, and so did Ilya's, though he’d never admit it.
“ I’ll text you. ” Ilya said before giving Shane one last kiss. Shane watched him through his window, and he started to walk back home. Ilya gave him an exaggerated air kiss, to which Shane accepted, matching his exaggeration.
He smiled to himself and felt his phone buzz. A message from: Ilya <3
Let me in through your window in thirty minutes, da? ;)