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Dean let out a frustrated groan when Castiel shook him from sleep, he had just managed to doze off after several exhausting days of hunting down a vampire nest. His body ached in a way that demanded sleep.
“What do you want, Cas? The world better be on fire.” Dean sat up to look at Castiel, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.
Castiel looked normal if not for a slight crease in his brow and the small droop to the corners of his lips.
“It’s Sam, I went to check on him.” This certainly got Dean's attention. Sam had been acting weird since they first showed up in this small town, he practically begged Dean to let him rent his own motel room for the night; Dean didn’t like the idea of being away from Sam but he was a grown man, and he had the final say in where he’d sleep tonight; even if Dean was suspicious on why his brother wanted a room alone, they never had problems sharing a room, hell, even a bed together.
Dean was in such a rush he didn’t even bother to question why Castiel was in Sam’s room at who-knows-what hour in the night.
“What’s wrong with Sammy?” Dean asked while already standing up on wobbly legs, searching for the nearest pair of pants to throw on.
“He looked pained. He was holding his stomach tightly, crying too I believe.” Castiel hovered over Dean while he struggled with his shoes. An uneasy feeling seeped into his gut; he needed to be with his brother now.
Walking over to the door, Dean gestured to Castiel, “You coming or not? You’ve got the spare key.”
Sam gave Castiel the spare key to his motel room in case of an emergency before they shared their good nights, it now rested in his pocket.
Castiel nodded sharply, walking the small distance to Sam’s room with Dean so close behind him he was almost stepping on the heel of Castiel’s shoes. Dean tapped his foot impatiently as he watched Castiel unlock and open the door, the only thing that was making space between him and his brother; his distraught baby brother.
As the door swung open with a sorrowful creak, Dean swiftly pushed around Castiel and reached Sam's bedside in no time.
Castiel was right, Sam didn’t look good. Small tears pricked at his brown doe eyes, and his face scrunched up in pain as he curled in on himself. He was holding a cheap motel pillow tightly to his chest, and his knuckles turned white from the force.
Dean crouched down to be at eye level with Sam, moving to brush the brown hair that had stuck itself to his face from tears or maybe sweat.
“Hey Sammy, did you get hurt or something? You know I don’t like it when you hide injuries.” Dean murmured in a soft voice reserved for Sam, a bit of strain lingering in his words.
“No, no, nothing like that. My stomach just hurts Dean, sorry, I didn’t want to bother you with this stuff again. It’s gross and I’m an adult now, I should be fine with this on my own.” Sam muttered, keeping his eyes trained to the floor.
“Is it your, uh, your cycle? Is that why you wanted the space?” Dean knew his brother, maybe even knew him better than he knew himself, he could recognize the signs.
When Sam was younger, he always said he wanted space during his time of the month, complaining about how gross he felt and how wrong it was. His cramps were always horrible; John once said that Mary had the same problem. Sam would curl up away from Dean as if he got small enough he’d disappear until it was over. It never worked, and by the end of it, he’d be sitting in Dean's bed, clutching onto Dean as if his life depended on it. Dean didn’t mind; he’d stroke a steady hand through Sam’s hair until his body loosened enough to sleep.
“Yeah, yeah it is. It feels worse this time. Probably ‘cause it’s been a while since I got it.” Sam grumbled, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had gotten his period. He started taking testosterone in his freshman year of college, it had disappeared shortly after. It was hard to get testosterone now that he was constantly driving around, always hunting for the next demon or monster. He hadn’t been able to get his hands on it for too long for his comfort.
“I’m sure it does Sammy, I’ll take care of you though, just like old times, all right?” Sam nodded, moving to grab Dean’s hand for some anchor.
With a small clearing of his throat, Castiel walked a bit closer to where the two brothers sat. They had seemingly blanked out his presence, both consumed in the comfort of one another.
“Is Sam alright? What cycle would cause this?” There was a slight strain in Castiel's voice, a hint of worry that could barely be picked up from underneath his usual firm voice.
Dean and Sam locked eye contact, almost like they were having a conversation with each other through their eyes. After a few moments, Sam nodded and Dean turned his back towards Castiel.
“Sam is on his period; it's cramps. He’s trans, he’s still got some parts of his old body left so he still can get… that.” Dean sounded a bit strained and uncomfortable as he tried to explain it to Castiel without making Sam uncomfortable with his word choice. Dean had no clue how much Castiel would know about Sam’s situation, if anything at all.
Castiel nodded along thoughtfully, “I see. Regrettably, I don’t believe my grace can help with menstrual cramps.”
“That’s all right Cas, I didn’t expect that from you,” Sam whispered, shifting ever so slightly to look up at Castiel. Wincing softly as another spike of pain and nausea rolled through his body, Dean frowned at seeing his brother in more pain. Castiel shifted uncomfortably, as though he was not sure what to do.
“Ya’ need anything, Sammy? I can run down to a store and get whatever you need: extra-strength ibuprofen or a new heating pad. Anything at all and I’ll get it.”
“Pain meds would be nice,” Sam sighed, mentally kicking himself; he hadn’t thought to get some before the cramps got worse.
“Okay, no problem. Cas can stay with you while I’m gone, call me if you can think of anything else you want.” Dean gave one small peck to Sam’s forehead, just like how he would when they were kids, just like Mary, before getting up to leave.
Castiel wasn’t sure exactly how to help Sam; he stood close to the bed like a watchdog, perking up at any sound that might be a threat.
Sam almost wanted to laugh at how Castiel was acting, almost. There were still sharp pains racing throughout his lower body, and he breathed out a small ‘Cas.’
“Yes, Sam? Is there anything I can do for you?” Castiel immediately turned to focus his attention on Sam, shifting closer to the bed. He was so close that he might as well have sat down, his knees digging into the foam.
“Just—just come lie down with me,”
With no hesitation Castiel sat down on the bed, taking the pillow out of Sam’s hands before maneuvering Sam to have his upper body leaning into Castiel’s lap. Castiel dropped a hand into Sam’s hair, mimicking how he’s seen Dean stroke Sam’s hair after a particularly rough night in the past.
“Is this okay?” Castiel asked, a bit quieter.
“More than okay, thank you Cas.” Sam sighed with content, being held didn’t do much to actually get rid of his pain but it was a good distraction. The gentle rise and fall of Castiel's vessel's breath, along with the warmth radiating from his body, provided something grounding that nothing else could match.
“Of course Sam, whatever you need.” Castiel smiled down at Sam, his face tucked awkwardly into Castiel’s hip.
It felt good to be there for him, Castiel knew he could never be Sam’s first go-to, Dean would always hold that spot. He was fine with that; it was just another part of the Winchester brothers. Still being able to give Sam enough comfort to melt into a puddle in his lap and watch his breathing even out was enough for Castiel.
He’d be there for Sam, for Dean, he liked being their Cas. It felt like a kind of freedom he never thought he could comprehend, yet, here he sat. The whole thing felt strangely domestic, something Castiel had not realized he craved.
Dean had been gone for maybe 30 minutes at most, but it felt like hours. He hated being away from Sam when he was in pain. He trusted Castiel, of course, but there was still the itch to get back to his brother as soon as possible.
He definitely went way over the speed limit on the drive back, but it was late at night in a tiny town, so who really cares?
Dean all but threw open the motel door, he had left it unlocked behind him; too focused on getting what Sam needed to pay something like that much attention, Cas was there if anything happened.
He was greeted with the sight of Sam on his side still curling himself up into Castiel’s lap, he seemed less tense than he was when Dean had left. It was almost cute the way he tried to make himself as small as possible in Castiel’s hold even though he usually towered over the angel.
The door softly clicked shut behind Dean as he made his way to the two of them, crouching down once more. Ignoring the loud pops that came from his knees in protest.
“Are you feeling better, Sammy? I got the meds you like and your favorite candy.” It used to be Sam’s favorite before he left for college, but Dean still grabbed it. Dean always got things for Sam to take his mind off whatever biological process was going on with him. It was the only thing Dean could think of that would help him when they were both teens. Mary was gone far too soon; she was not there to gently explain how to help his baby brother. John would get stiff at the topic, almost uncomfortable, and find a different thing to bring up before Dean could truly ask anything.
Sam peeked his head up from where he hid in Castiel’s lap, “It still sucks but it’s nice to not be alone, I’d like those meds though.”
Dean huffed out a small laugh, grabbing a lukewarm water bottle off a nearby bedside table. He opened the bottle of medicine and shook two pills into his palm.
“You’re gonna need to sit up a bit for this Sammy,” Dean said softly.
With a slight groan of annoyance, Sam shifted out of Castiel’s lap and held out a hand for the pills. Dean had to suppress a laugh as Castiel fumbled with where to place his hands now that Sam was not underneath them.
Dean carefully pressed the pills into Sam’s waiting hand, along with the water bottle, now uncapped, into his other hand. Sam slammed back the medicine, chasing it with the water to remove the chalky feeling left behind in his already dry mouth. Dean rubbed his arm tenderly, a hint of amusement in his face as Sam almost choked on the water.
“You should slow down Sam, you will get sick from drinking that fast.” Castiel chirped, moving his unsure hand to rest against Sam’s lower back, copying Dean’s movements again.
Dean took the empty bottle out of Sam’s hand, tossing it in the general direction of a trash can tucked into the corner. Sam was already making himself comfortable in Castiel’s lap again by the time Dean looked back at the two. Castiel let his hand move back up from Sam’s back to the nape of his neck, thumbing it slightly.
“Do you want me to hold you too, like old times?” Dean mocked with no real bite to his words, they both knew that if Sam asked, Dean would in a heartbeat.
“If Cas doesn’t mind, I’m fine like this, I don’t really want to move, you can stay here if you want though.” Sam looked between Castiel and Dean while he talked.
“I do not mind, I would quite enjoy it actually.” Castiel chimed in.
Part of Dean wanted to push Castiel out of the way and take back what was once his space. Sam has always been, and will always be his responsibility, his everything. Even if he didn’t say it out loud.
Sam has grown, he can choose what he wants, and if he wants to lie in Castiel’s arms instead of his big brother's, Dean will just have to accept that. No matter how badly it made his skin prickle with jealousy.
As Sam said, they were both adults. They were not in a tiny motel waiting for John to come back, finding everything in each other because they had no other choice. They were not kids anymore, and people couldn’t look past their closeness in favor of writing it off by age.
“Alright Sammy, I’ll stay here with you and Cas for the night.” Dean gave one final squeeze to Sam’s arm and stood up.
Moving to flop down onto a small lounge chair, flush against the wall a small distance away from the bed. Sleeping here would wreak havoc on Dean's neck in the morning, but he didn’t care. He’d put himself in way worse positions for Sam’s sake and he’d do it all again.
Sam might be outgrowing Dean's way of love but Dean will still be there for his family, even if that means waking up with aches in his body that’ll linger for the day. Something with Sam was better than nothing. If Castiel made him happy, Dean could be happy for him.
The kid deserved it, deserved any small moment of peace he could get. He deserved all that and more after everything the universe had thrown at him.