Chapter Text
"I want a baby."
The words ricochet off the walls of the Pitt, bringing it to a metaphorical standstill, an answering silence deafening, making Frank look up from where he sat charting to find multiple pairs of eyes on him, just staring at him.
"Wow...um, congrats?" Trinity broke the silence in knowing amusement. "Is that just a general life update or something we need to start planning for, now? Because if I have to cover for you while you're on maternity leave..."
"Dude." Donnie looked at Frank in disappointment. "You just got out of diapers with Penny, and now you want to go back? Why man? Why?"
"In today's economy?" Perlah snorted. "Who can afford one?"
Princess let out an 'mmmhmmm' in agreement, eyes twinkling in amusement.
Frank gave a low sigh of long suffering, looking at the people at the hub with what Victoria liked to call Frank's 'done dad' look. "I meant as a patient. I don't want anything to be wrong with them," he clarified, "but it would be nice to get a baby from time to time, nice change of pace."
"Uh-huh."
"Sure."
"Whatever you say."
"If you say so." Trinity rolled her eyes, Dana catching her attention from the corner of her eye, the Charge Nurse talking to Robby, the two making their way over to the Hub. Not waiting for their conversation to end or even for them to be particularly close to the Pitt before calling out to them. "Hey Dana, Frank just told us he wants a baby."
Dana and Robby's conversation stopped immediately, Robby and Dana's attention snapping to the senior resident, the corner of Dana's lips curling up in amusement while Robby just stood there, blinking, looking at Frank if he had two heads.
"Three under four, Frank?" Dana snorted, "Do you have the second parent in mind, or will this just be a one-night stand situation?" Dana held up her hands in mock surrender. "No judgment," she assured, still smiling. "Just like to be prepared on how much of your genetics might win out in this kid."
Frank groaned and dropped his head in his hands. He looked up at Robby with impossibly large and pleading blue eyes, searching for rescue. The bearded attending cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows, in expectation, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. "I meant as a patient, Robby. You have to believe me. A patient."
"Phrasing is a thing." Trinity snorted.
"Hey," Victoria interrupted the group. "A four-month-old just came in..."
"Mine." Frank shot up from his chair, pressing his hands together and looking up at the ceiling before chasing after Victoria, leaving the stunned group behind.
"...Wow...." Trinity finally let out, leaning back in her chair, "Just wow..."
"I'm just going to say it." Perlah shook her head, knowing she was going to regret her words. "Someone should just give that man a baby. Clearly, the universe agrees."
"Alright." Robby clapped his hands together once. "Lets get back to work, Patients aren't going to save themselves."
Robby made it four hours before the subject was brought up again, making the chief attending nearly drop the pen in his hand, eyes skimming the form in front of him. "Huckeberry just gave Frank a baby." His head snapped up at a dangerous speed, head whipping around to stare at Trinity and Cassie with wide eyes. Next to him, Dana guffawed, and Princess slowed her pace as she walked by.
"Whitaker did what?" Robby demanded before he could help it, his mind whirling, but no actual thoughts formed.
Trinity hummed. "Its a cute baby too."
"Most are," Cassie surmised, "unless it's ugly."
"Like Frank would ever have an ugly baby." Dana chipped in, not helping the situation at all. Enjoying the glare Robby directed at her. "Honestly, I thought it was going to be Jesse." Robby's glare depended.
"I assume." He cut in dryly, "You mean a patient, Santos."
"Second one of the day, Boss."
"He speaks, and therefore it happens," Cassie muttered. Robbie drew in a breath in silent agreement.
They had three more babies throughout the day, Frank claiming all of them as patients, except for one. A new baby Jane was left screaming and hungry, bruises on her arms and legs, a skinny, unloved baby, in desperate need of an apology for the world failing her before she could even fully support her head. Frank was on his way over to see her when Robby intercepted him, clamping both hands on Frank's shoulders in a firm and steady hold, squeezing down, physically manhandling Frank to the hub, just in time for handover, getting looks from Jack, Shen, and Ellis, as he pushed Frank into the chair, with a look.
"Finish your charts." He ordered gruffly.
"Aww, come on, boss." Perlah teased.
"Just give him one last baby, Robby," Dana commanded softly. "Last one."
"I'm sorry, what?" Parker asked, mouth falling open.
"Frank wants another baby," Trinity informed them, dryly. "I'm out." With that, she headed home.
Robby didn't move under Jack's heavy gaze. Frank groaned and dropped his head to his chest in defeat. "When I said I wanted a baby, I meant as a patient, that is all."
"And then we got five babies as patients today." Princess chipped in cheerfully. "He claimed everyone except Baby Jane."
"Robby won't give him another baby," Dana concluded.
The bearded attending pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can you please stop phrasing it like that?"
"Of course not." Jack crossed his arms over his broad chest, gaze landing on Frank, a dangerous little smirk playing on his lips. "I'm giving Frank this baby. You got fifteen minutes, sweetheart."
Bright red colour filled Landon's face instantly at the pet name, Jack smirking, and Shen choked on his sip of coffee. Parker was speechless.
"What?" Jack teased his husband. "The man wants a baby."
Frank prayed to every single deity he could remember, praying the floor would swallow him whole.