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Hey there, Shoot-O here. If you don't know who i am, then this is probably not the right fanfiction for you! It goes through a whole big section of the game: one of the most important parts, too! So either go play it or watch a playthrough of “High on Life 2” and then come back. Or don't. I don't really give a shit. This fanfiction is really poorly done. But fuck it, it's posted on the internet now! Can't take that back!!!
We're at the part where the real Suit-O and that dumbass motherfucking Outlaw get captured and thrown into prison. If you asked Outlaw how they got here, they wouldn't be able to tell you. Why? Because they're fucking stupid. If YOU don't know how they got here, then, again, this fic isn't for you. Unless you want to go watch the majority of a six-hour video of the cutscenes in the game. No??? Then kindly fuck off... Huhh… Sorry, i'm not mad at you. Let's just– let's just get to the fanfiction already!!!
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Suit-O huffed. ”Hey, look. We're gonna be stuck in here for a long time so–”
Killer dropped to their knees in front of the little robot, wrapping their arms around him. Their voice came out shaky. “I-i-i'm gl-lad you're okay.”
Suit-O tensed under the touch, trying to put distance between them. “What??” He was still very angry.
Killer pulled back to look at his avatar on the screen. “I-i was worried i'd l-ost you. I… i never meant to hurt you, Suit-O.”
He broke away. “Oh, bull-shit! You tossed me aside like i was nothing!!! After everything i've done for you!!!” He was trying to hide the break in his voice.
“I never wanted to leave you behind, Suit-O. We had to get to safety, and you… you were holding us back.” Killer looked directly into his piercing glare. “I know you didn't mean to. I would never blame you for it. I know that you did everything that you could for us. And i'm grateful that you held out for as long as you did. But we couldn't let anything happen to any of the others. We needed to make sure that they were safe, too.”
“So they're more important than me??? Why? Because i'm just a program?!" He practically spat the words through his screen.
“I never said that.”
“But you meant it!!! You don't put any weight on things that aren't alive, and i KNOW you don't!!!” He motioned with his robotic arms. “I-i-i'm j-just a tool to you! And not even like your fucking Gatlians either!!! I'm EXPENDABLE to you!” He turned away with exasperation. “And why shouldn't i be, huh?! You can just go and copy-paste my entire code into another suit and everything is hunky-fuckin-dory, isn't it?! You never even noticed it wasn't me!!!”
It was hard to argue with that. “Suit-O it was a copy of you!!! I didn't copy you myself! I woke up with the copy installed on that suit! They didn't tell me what actually happened while i was out. Your copy acted just like you do because it was a COPY!!!”
“Your human brains really are small as shit, aren't they?! ANYONE could have seen it wasn't me!!!” He got in Killer's face, even though he could never hurt them in this body.
Killer sneered. “I'm not a genius, Suit-O, you know that!!! I'm dumb as shit most of the time! Why do you think i asked for the waypoint so often?! Why'd you think i had to stop to regroup so many times in our first jobs?!” Killer leaned in and barked. “I'm a fucking moron, Suit-O!!! I could have never made it without you out there and you know that!!!” They turned away. “I can't do this without you. I can't…”
Suit-O barely allowed a beat. “You were getting along fine with my copy.”
Killer shouted loudly. “Oh my god, it was a FUCKING COPY!!! I didn't think about how they got you out of the old suit after it locked down!!! They just threw me into a whole bunch of new assassinations with Good Guys, bad guys, guards, AND bounty hunters up my ass at every step!! I'm a wanted fucking criminal with 70 million pesos on my fucking head alone!!! Do you understand how fucking much that is for a human as stupid as i am?! It's a lot to fucking deal with!!!”
“No, Outlaw, you had plenty of fucking time to realize it!! You just never gave a shit about me in the first place so you never even thought about it!”
“I DID GIVE A SHIT, SUIT-O!!! I WAS WORRIED AS FUCK ABOUT YOU!!! I THOUGHT i had you back, and that's all that mattered to me. I thought i was able to save everyone… but i obviously didn't…”
“No. You fuckin’ didn't save everyone. And i hope that pisses you off. Always trying to be a hero when you've never been more than a wannabe vigilante ASSHOLE.”
“YOU FUCKER!!!!” Killer reeled to shove Suit-O, but before they could, they heard the cell door open.
“Sorry. Am i interrupting?” The voice sounded familiar, but Killer couldn't place it yet. “I heard you woke up, so i figured i should pop by to say ‘hello.’”
“Wait a– wait a minute, aren't you…?” Suit-O would better know if this was someone they should know.
“Why don't you come closer??” Killer warily did so.
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Aaaand then it goes into a villain monologue. Oh wow, sure didn't expect that guy to be the villain, did you??? Nah, not really. But i'm not surprised either. I mean, it fuckin’ figures it's him. Alright, so we found the real villain of the game, great job. But that's not really important for this crappy fanfiction, so the writer is just gonna skip over it. All you need to know is that Killer's right arm was ripped off and they passed out. Okay??? We're picking up from there.
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Killer was shaking when they woke up on the bed again. They were in terrible pain, and they felt incredibly weak. They opened blurry eyes to find blood all over the floor and the mattress. They breathed heavily and tried to sit up.
“Oh good, you're awake again. Look, uh… we need to get out of here.”
Killer stood up to find Suit-O, but instead found that their balance was completely off from what it should have been. They tried to swing their right arm up to catch themself on the bunk, but there wasn't any weight being moved around. They glanced over at it. “Ooh, shit, don't look at your arm! Don-don't think about your arm that got cut off. You're still alive and that's what counts!”
Killer felt an incredible sting of panic tear through their entire ribcage, which rivaled the pain that they were feeling in this new stump of theirs. “Aah! Aaahhh!!!” They started hyperventilating and stumbled backwards as they almost lost their balance completely.
“By the way, you can relax! Okay?” Killer shot their eyes over. “You-you look really stressed out: you don't need to be that stressed out! It’s-it's makin’ me feel stressed out. J-just chill, okay? I-i-i have a plan. I might… be able.. to fashion us some sort of… makeshift gun. I-i-i just need you to… find some parts.”
Killer could barely breathe anymore. They were almost unable to form words. “S-Suit-O!” He looked at them. “SUIT-O!!! V-vi-vitals?!!! Puh-pl-pl-please???”
He made a frustrated noise, but walked over. “I-i-i ca-can't really take your vitals like i usually can right now, but i guess i'll see what i can do.” He grabbed onto Killer's wrist and held it tightly for a moment. “Whoo… yeah, you-you're not looking too hot. I-i-i can't completely assess you like this, b-but making an educated guess i'm gonna say your health is around here.” His screen showed a health bar that was almost empty on his screen, along with a heartrate, blood pressure, and blood oxygen levels. Killer couldn't understand most of those things normally, but they could sure understand those. “I-i-i think you should sit down.” Suit-O helped them sit back onto the bed. He tried to pull back.
Killer moved their arm to follow his. “Please don't let go.” They bored big, watery eyes into him.
Suit-O's angry expression flickered to a concerned one for a fraction of a second before returning. “Obviously i'm still mad at you. That didn't all magically go away because part of your body got chopped off.”
“I-i-i kn-kn-know-w… i-i-i j-just…” they inhaled deeply; “n-need you now…”
Suit-O grumbled quietly. “Oh, so NOW you need me???”
Killer huffed painfully. “Suit-O, please don't do this now. You know i need you, you know i've ALWAYS needed you… I-i-i need you so much that i had to use a copy of you to get by. Please, Suit-O, just… give me a break. I'm so tired right now…”
He threw his arms into the air and turned around. “Oh, sure, by all means. Go ahead and take another nap, or-or-or w-whatever the fuck. It-it's not like there's anything important going on right now. You just take all the time you need. Go ahead and ju-just… fuckiiiing… grow another arm, or… fucking whatever…” It sounded like he gave up.
Killer breathed heavily and turned away. They smirked painfully and spoke slowly. “You know… there was one part of a hit i know you would have liked. Travis; he's… a new Gatlian on the team…” Suit-O turned to look at them again. “He paid for this… stupid murder mystery thing on a cruise ship. Our hit set up a game to find out which one of five people shot him to death when the lights went out. We had to do a whole stupid investigation around it. Of course, it turned out to be some bullshit:” Killer looked at Suit-O; “the bastard CLONED himself so he could have this whole dramatic reveal about him knowing which one of his guests wanted him dead the most. I guess… i don't know, maybe he did know we were there to kill him too… But… you would have loved the Detective Suit-O bit we had to do for it. We haven't done one of those in so long, and i remember that you used to love them. Th-this one was real intense, too. We had to go back and forth, find clues, follow pointing fingers… I shoulda known it wasn't really you when that Suit-O took it more as a job.” Killer shook their head. “I feel so stupid looking back at that.”
“That's ‘cause you are stupid.”
Killer rolled their eyes. “Yeah! I know! I know that!! You think i don't know that?! I've known that for-fuckin-ever! Is this news to you???!!!”
Suit-O stared tiredly at them for a moment. “Ya feelin’ better yet???”
Killer sighed. “Yeah. I'm good now.” They inhaled deeply and stood up. “What's your plan???”
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Wow, what the fuck was that??? Yyyyikes. Something something they turn Suit-O into a gun that they call “Shoot-O.” Something something jailbreak. Something something Killer loses their other arm. Sorry for doing this bit again. There's this long in-between; just look it up on YouTube or something. Anyway Shoot-O and Killer make it back to base and now Shoot-O is a pair of robotic arms that they use as a replacement for Killer's missing arms. Also he's a little Tamagatchi that they have around their wrist. That's a good enough explanation. Now we can get back to the shitshow again.
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Killer laid down on the stupid, dirty racecar-shaped bed. They turned onto their right side, feeling a smoldering sting of pain on the freshly patched wound that now occupied the place where their arm had been severed. They brought their new robotic prosthetic to their face to examine the tiny charm that was latched to their wrist.
They croaked tiredly. “Thank you. Shoot-O. Thank you for saving me.”
The screen flickered, and the tiny pixelated face now had a pair of angry black eyebrows. “N-nuh-no problem, Ou-Outlaw…”
Killer smirked. “I know you didn't want to.”
Shoot-O didn't say anything. Killer sighed. “I'm glad you're here too. I know i fucked up. I know it's gonna be hard for you to forgive me, Shoot-O.” They smiled. “But i'm glad we're together again. I'm glad no one can take you away from me again.”
The little mascot blushed and moved awkwardly. “W-we-well y-you don't have to get all fuh-fuckin’ sappy about it…”
Killer smiled lovingly and gingerly touched the Tamagatchi with their left hand. Shoot-O became even more flustered and tried to turn his avatar away from them. He looked at them after a moment. “Y-y-ya know… th-thi-this isn't even the fir-first time you've been all gooey like this with me.”
Killer hummed quizzically. “You-y-you sai-said a lot of stuff. W-when you were losing consciousness. In the escape pod…”
“What did i say???” Killer couldn't remember anything after the doors to the pod had closed.
“You were crying before i even came and got you. You’ve been through a lot of pain without ever crying: and you didn’t even cry when Nipulon took your right arm. But you were crying then. You kept saying ‘Shoot-O,’ and… a-a-and you apologized.”
Killer cocked their head. “You said you were sorry that you left me. You said you were sorry that you couldn't tell the difference between me and my copy. You apologized for going against code and getting us into all of this mess. You were sorry that i had to be alone for so long. And you were sorry that you didn't appreciate me when you had me.”
Killer breathed deeply. “I said all that???”
“Y-yeah. You-you were losing consciousness, though, s-s-so it-it was a little hard to make out. But i've seen you lose consciousness before, so i could make out most of it.”
“Hmm…” They closed their eyes. “You would know me better than anyone at this point…”
“I…” Killer looked at Shoot-O again. “I-i a-also s-saw… the-the things you said to my copy. W-when they installed him onto your other suit…”
Killer knew what he was saying, but they weren't going to let Shoot-O get away with not talking about it. “Hmm. And what was that???”
The blush returned to his cheeks and his avatar visibly became shy. “W-weh– y-y-ya… y-you checked up on me. Y-you-you asked if i was re-really there a-and if i was okay. Y-you said you were sorry that you pu-put me– or, uh, ‘Suit-O’ through that. You said you couldn’t let them hurt Lizzie and Harper, a-and you said you knew it wasn’t my fault when i tried to stop you. You even said that it sounded like it hurt when i was seen as a virus on the suit’s computer, w-wh-which… i-i-it d-did… You-you said you were s-sorry that i went thr-through that for you. L-la-later you-you asked me what it felt like, b-b-but…” His voice broke. “Y-y-you thanked me for everything i did on that mission. You thanked me for holding out as long as i did, and for trying to keep the Bounty Network off of us as long as i could. You-you s-a-said… y-you were really glad that you had me b-back…”
Killer smirked softly. “Did i??? Hmm…” They touched the Tamagatchi again and sighed. “Ooohhh, yyyeeaah… And you said;” they pitched up their voice to mimick Suit-O’s; “‘I sure am! And now you’re stuck with me, again, forever!!!’” They chuckled. “Well… now i guess you’re the one stuck with me. Forever. ‘Cause i’m not giving up these cool new hands.” They tried to suppress their yawn. “And… I’m not giving you up, either, Shoot-O.”
Shoot-O's avatar blushed and pouted. “Ga-ah! Y-y-you fuckin’ d-dork!!!”
Killer huffed a giggle and smiled. “I love you, Shoot-O. I appreciate every last thing you do for us.”
“Aahhh… You're welcome, Outlaw. I love you, too.”
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Whoo boy, another one of these bits, huh?? You know, writer, you could have just written “skip” and that would have been fine. I know you've done it before: don't act like you haven't. It's better than this jank-ass reference to the demo, god. Whatever, it's too fuckin’ late now. The day is saved, if you can believe, and humans are safe once again. No being turned into pills in this game! That's greeeaaat. Why not have a party at Spaceforest Cafe about it? You all liked that joke, right??? Was it better than the Space Applebees joke? I'm sure it was, i'm sure it was. Can we wrap this shit up, already???
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K-SO glanced around to make sure that they weren't overheard. They spoke quietly. “Well… i was thinking about proposing to Lizzie, and i was wondering if i could have your support. I don't know how you'd feel about a robot marrying your sister, but... just… think about it.”
Killer's eyes grew wide. “Y-you're with my sister???!”
K-SO answered a bit awkwardly. “Why, yes, i am. We've been together for a while now, actually. I don't know if losing all of our members was what caused us to become quite what we are now, but… i know this is real.”
Killer breathed anxiously. There was a voice coming from their hand. “Heeeyy, no judgements here!! I say go for it!!!” Sweezy grinned wide.
Killer shot their eyes right at her. “Really???!”
“Yeah! What, do you got a problem with it, Dipshit???” She cocked her eyebrow and frowned.
Killer grinned down at the charm on their wrist. “Did you hear that, Shoot-O?! ‘No judgement!!!’” The tiny screen got brighter, as if it were surprised.
“What? Waaaiit, are you and Shoot-O–”
“NAAAH! NO! NUH UH, NO, THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US!!! NOTHING AT ALL, THERE IS NOTHING THERE. BETWEEN US. NOTHING AT ALL! Go on, look, y-you-you’re not– you’re not gonna find anything, i promise you that!!!”
Sweezy made a face. “Ooohhh, i get it. Shoot-O's your new hands now, right? I guess that means you two must–”
“NAH AH, NO, I SAID ‘NO!!!’ There's nothing like that going on, so stop thinking it!!! Outlaw and i are strictly business!!!... A-a-and, w-well, o-off hours, too…” His voice got quiet. “A-a-and… i guess… a-all… the time too, seeing as how i'm… literally their ha-hands n-now…” He became loud again: ”BUT THAT'S IT!!! No pleasure here, nuh-uh, no way! N-not-not gonna happen! N-not with these ha-hands, no sir–”
Sweezy rolled her eyes. “Aaalriiiight, Shoot-O, we get it. There's nothing between you and Dipshit. But if there WERE something going on between you two; ‘hypothetically speaking;’ there would be no judgement from us either.”
Killer smiled appreciatively at her. “Thanks, Sweezy.”
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Oh thank god, we're finally fuckin’ done!! That was shit! No, that was really not good!!! But hey, you know, the only way that the writer can improve on their shitty fanfics is if you, the reader, leave some feedback!! Not just a stupid kudos, but like an actual comment!! Tell them what was shitty, and tell them what was REEEAALLY shitty! Or, if you're dumb enough to have enjoyed that deep conversation with Evil Clippy, then let them know that too; because god knows this jackass needs the dopamine. You know what? Kudos are fine too, i don't give a shit. Whatever! Hope you liked it, thanks for reading. Like, genuinely though. Thanks.
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