Archive of Our Own

Despite now being senior director of communications for the Ottawa Centaurs, Harris Drover still loved being the social media manager and fans couldn't get enough of it. Social media was the opportunity for fans to get to know the players off the ice and outside of the press room and tabloids, it allowed for a more tailored and personal view of the players and staff to be created. The content often made with the team would be the usual run of the mill interviews, day in the life videos or behind the scenes of practice sessions and the occasional hockey tutorial from a very tired player after a difficult training session. Today Harris had felt like he'd struck gold for the Centaurs social media page in the form of a tiny microphone.

The idea of the tiny microphone had come to him on a random Tuesday when he was scrolling through Instagram reels instead of doing the work he was meant to be doing, he'd come across a few videos from some random red carpet for an awards show where the celebrities being interviewed by some tabloid with the interviewer asking the celebrities a question that had nothing to do with the awards show or the projects they had been nominated for, sometimes the celebrities would give a straight forward answer to the question or be stunned by the fact that the question had nothing to do with the event and the odd celebrity would be infatuated or perplexed by the tiny microphone the interviewer had decided to use rather than a normal sized one. Harris thought about the tiny microphone on and off for the next few days and realised something like that would be perfect for the Centaur's TikTok and Instagram pages.

He brought up the idea of doing a series of tiny microphone interviews at the next management meeting, at first Coach Wiebe was a little apprehensive of the idea, not wanting a distraction for the players when they're about to go on or come off the ice, "Come on Brandon it will be so fun" Harris tried to persuade "Think about it, fans will be able to get to know the team a bit more in a way less formal way than a press conference or interview from some random reporter". Coach Wiebe made a neutral face at him "I'm just not sure Harris, it might just be a waste of time or land us in more hot water with tabloids, remember the incident with that slide in Boston? I'm all for teams getting along with other teems, but some how trousers were lost in that incident and the league was not happy". Harris had to stifle a laugh remembering waking up one day to seeing the infamous video of Rosanov, Hollander, Pike from the Metros and Marleau from the Raiders on the Boston cop slide, with Rosanov and Pike throwing themselves down the slide and both emerging at seemingly ungodly speeds and trousers ripped exposing underwear.

"Yes i remember what a struggle it was for us, but Boston and Montreal also had to deal with that and people online thought that video was hilarious, i mean who knew Pike wore Spiderman underwear at his big age" Harris said with a chuckle, Coach Wiebe tipped his head back and sighed. "Okay fine, it might not be a bad idea, I'll give you the chance to do this, but I've got a few rules for this". Harris smiled and rested his head on the back of his hand "I'm listening", Wiebe chuckled at Harris' body language "don't ask the boys any inappropriate questions, i don't need Crowell on my ass about how the team is full of sex deviants or not maintaining a family friendly environment" Harris nodded in understanding. "Don't you worry yourself Brandon, I'll make sure the boys won't say too inappropriate, cannot be guaranteed, but will try". "Perfect, try it with practice tomorrow and see what the boys and the fans think"

The next day Harris was ready standing at the side of the rink watching the boys run shooting drills, Wyatt stopping most of the goals with the occasional puck from Rosanov or Hollander making it past the powerhouse of a goalie and hearing the cheers of victory and groans of frustration at each shot. Coach Wiebe blew his whistle and the boys skated away from lining up in front of the goal to circling their coach and listening intently to what he was saying and heads bobbing when they understood what he was saying, the team stood up when Wiebe was finished talking and skated towards the exit gate to head back to the locker room, many of them taking off their helmets and tousling their hair on the way, Wiebe blew his whistle again and the team turned around to face him "Before you boys get out of your gear Harris would like a moment of your time for some social media thing". Some of the team sarcastically groaned, causing Wiebe and Harris to laugh "Harris what social media bullshit do we have to do now?" Ilya Rosanov asked as he skated over, Hollander skating close by, ever since Shane had moved to Ottawa, married Ilya, joined the Centaurs and become alternate captain the two were often not seen without the other.

"Okay guys" Harris said as he clapped his hands, getting the teams attention "I'm gonna get each of you to answer a question as you leave the ice, it's for our social media channels so all i ask if that you keep it as appropriate as possible. That's not me asking for that one that's Wiebe and the league" a few boos were murmured amongst the team accompanied by laughter from Wiebe, still on the ice behind the team also watching Harris' announcement. "So I'm gonna stand at the gate and ask you guys a question as each of you leave the ice, if you don't wanna do it you can just walk past me and none of us will be upset or offended. Sounds cool?" Harris asked and a chorus of loud 'Yesses' came from the team and they skated away towards the gate where Harris met them.

Bood was the first in line, laughing when Harris handed him the pink sparkly tiny microphone and spoke when Harris signaled that he was recording "Hi, this is Zane Boodram, coming to you with this weird tiny microphone, and a question from our beautiful sexy director of communications". "Paws off Bood" Troy said with laughter, standing behind behind Bood jokingly rolled his eyes. "Okay, the question is, what is something fans may not know about you?" Harris asked as he held up the phone, Bood thought for a second and then brought the microphone near his mouth "sometimes I like to eat spaghetti with ketchup on it" Bood handed the microphone to Troy and and walked away to the locker room. Troy just laughed "That's a little weird, but not a crime. Oohh I like the little microphone babe, I assume you're asking me the same question". Harris nodded from behind the camera "It's the same question for everyone". Troy nodded his head and answered "What's something fans may not know about me, hmmmmm, oh I'm a little bit afraid of the bear tattoo and that's all I'm going to say about that". Troy handed the microphone back to Harris and strutted towards the locker room.

Behind Troy was Evan Dykstra, who had somehow managed to get hold of his camo trucker hat "Alright Evan, what's something fans may not know about you?" Harris asked as he handed the pink tiny microphone, Evan inspected the microphone for a moment and spoke into it "Something fans may not know about me is that I love my camo hat and I put it over my water bottle during practise and if you ever see me not wearing a camo trucker that's not me and someone should inform my wife that i have been kidnapped by aliens, thanks" Evan passed the microphone to Luca behind him and disappeared to go and get out of his gear in the locker room. "Oh I love these tiny little microphones!" Luca loudly exclaimed "I see them on TikTok all the time and I've always wanted to talk into one, what is the question?". "Okay Luca, what is something fans may not know about you?" Harris asked and Luca made a thinking face for a moment "Oh, I know. I love to draw, which i know everyone knows anyway, I have an Instagram for my art so that's not a secret, but i bet people didn't know that i designed the logo for one of the house made beers at Scott hunters bar" Luca said with a smile, which promptly disappeared when Harris asked "Haas are you even old enough to drink?" With that question Luca handed the microphone to whoever was behind him and walked away.

After Luca it was Holmber, LaPointe and Young, three of the younger players on the team that were a little older than Haas, but nowhere near as talented and often the three of them were the butt of many jokes about not being sold separately "Okay guys, same question, what's something fans may not know about you?" Harris repeated the question. "Can we answer for each other?" Young asked, holding the microphone and Harris nodded from behind the camera "Nice, Holmber is allergic to carrots and LaPointe eats a lot of ice cream bars, I have seen this man put away more ice cream bars in one day than i have ever seen in a store, supermarket or ice cream truck", LaPointe shook his head and snatched the microphone away from Young "Holmber doesn't like it when Dykstra is the DJ in the locker room and Young will order ham and pineapple pizza from room service on road trips and then will pick the pineapple off, like just order a plain ham pizza dude" LaPointe says with a laugh as he passes the microphone to young "This is all true by the way, LaPointe thinks we should recreate the Boston cop slide video next time we play Boston and Young has an emotional support figurine of puss in boots from Shrek and he keep it in his backpack at all times, its got no arms and like one leg and half a tail and it's all dirty" The three of them went towards the locker room in fits of laughter as they handed the microphone to Wyatt.

Wyatt held the microphone in his large hand and smiled at it "this is so cute, it look like a little toy my nephew would have, what was the question? I couldn't hear you over the three pack laughing at each other". Harris repeated the question for what felt like the billionth time "What's something fans may not know about you?" he asked. Wyatt nodded and thought for a moment "There's lots of things to know about me, ummmmm I have a tattoo on the bottom of my foot, it's the spiderman logo and it hurt so so much when i got it done, but oh gosh was it worth it cause it looks cool as hell, the first time i showed it to my wife she burst out laughing. so um yeah, that's something fans don't know about me. Harris you can have your tiny microphone back" Wyatt passed the pink microphone back to Harris, who then asked the question to a few more team members until he finally got to the people most people followed Centaurs' social media for and what the team had lovingly dubbed 'the husband line'.

Ilya took the pink microphone from Harris and examined it closely for a moment "Harris, I believe you have put this microphone on a hot wash, it is very small", Shane laughed and rolled his eyes "No, Ilya, we're supposed to answer the question, we've gotta talk into it". Ilya smirked and gave Shane a look that said he was joking, causing Shane to roll his eyes and laughed at his husband "Harris, what is question?" Ilya asked and for the final time Harris said "what is something fans might not know about you?". Shane and Ilya looked at each other "Can we do one for ourselves and one for each other?" Shane asked and Harris nodded from behind the camera. Shane spoke into the microphone his husband was still holding "Something people might not know about Ilya has over thirty five thousand points on the McDonalds app". "There's one on the way to the rink, do you want me to starve in the mornings? McGriddle is only available during breakfast, so i have to have it on the way here" Ilya said defensively and rolled his eyes, looking at Shane and listening to his second answer "And something fans might not know about me is that the year Ilya was on the cover of the NHL video game i ordered a copy so i could have a photo of him in my house and people wouldn't question it".

Ilya looked at Shane with nothing but love in his eyes "Awwww Shane, that's really sweet" Harris said from behind the camera and Ilya agreed "Yes it really is, something people might not know about Shane is that he doesn't listen to music when he works out, when we work out at home we listen to my music or a podcast, when we're at hotels Shane just puts his headphones and listens to nothing" Ilya says with a laugh,  "It's so people won't bother me" Shane replies "Ilya tell the microphone something people won't know about you". Ilya holds places the microphone between Shanes fingers and bends down slightly to talk into it "Something people may not know about me is that i have several piercings, a couple in my ears" he points to each of his ears "and this one in my septum" Ilya reached into his nostrils and flips out a gold septum ring "is that the right word for it?" Ilya asks, Shane nods and hands the microphone back to Harris.

Harris had gotten all the footage he needed and headed up to his office to edit the footage, it didn't take to long to edit, he just had to edit out the awkward cuts between each players answer and add some funny text and music into the background. Upon reviewing the final product Harris knew Wiebe wouldn't regret allowing him to borrow the team for a few minuets to film this video, he knew fans were gonna go crazy for this, it was the perfect display of hilarity, strong team bonds and love. Harris had a strong inkling that social media, especially twitter, was going to go crazy for this. A few days after uploading the video it was still trending on twitter and Harris took a peak at some of the comments people had left, Wiebe was definity going to let him do this again based on the comments people had left.

Ottawa Centaurs @OttawaCentaurs ✅

Obsessed with what's wrong with them

[Video Attached: Still frame of a tiny pink sparkly microphone]

[Video Length 1:57]

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Fuck Ice @rozahoe81 The bear tattoo has to be Ilya's?!!?!?!?! Heavily implies Troy's locker room space is as far away from Roz as possible

>Gayest NHL team @OpheliasFate Gotta be annoying when you're on the same line as him

>Shane Why'd you leave @MetroHolzLuv It's probably why Barrett is on and off the ice so quickly during his shifts

>Gayest NHL team @OpheliasFate @MetroHolzLuv Girl, shut up, he ain't going back and we all know why. Barrett can wing Rosanov better than any of those fuckers on the Metros

 >Marleau take me to Paris @RaiderBunBun Honestly justice for the bear tattoo, who hasn't gotten a crazy weird tattoo before their frontal lobe fully developed??????

 

Man In the Crease @ManInTheCrease✅

This is exactly what's wrong with the modern NHL. Players get dragged out in front of a camera by their social media managers or interns and told to share information about their personal lives rather than just playing the damn game. Honestly who gives a fuck that Haas designed the artwork for Scott Hunter's bar or that Bood eats pasta with ketchup on it and worst of all Rosanov has a septum ring

>Bood can get it @SlowDeepHard "What's wrong with the modern NHL" Literally if it wasn't for the league continuing to exist and teams making themselves more appealing to newer fans your little podcast would have nothing to talk about. Apart from being whiny little bitches what do you guys actually talk about

>Man In the Crease @ManInTheCrease✅ @SlowDeepHard We're a hocky podcast that discusses everything to do with hockey, we're just saying that the players don't need to share stuff about their private lives when they're on the ice

>Bood can get it @SlowDeepHard @ManInTheCrease✅ This is clearly at the end of a practice session. if this was a different team and some of the players weren't queer you wouldn't have a single problem with it. GO BACK TO YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT

>Bood can get it @SlowDeepHard @ManInTheCrease✅ Also you gotta admit Harris asking Haas if he'd old enough to drink and Haas immediately shoving the microphone back to Harris is pretty damn funny

>Man In the Crease @ManInTheCrease✅ @SlowDeepHard Okay, yeah, we can admit that was pretty damn funny

>Bood can get it @SlowDeepHard @ManInTheCrease✅ Girl you betta be in that damn basement

 

McDonalds Canada @McDonaldsCA✅

I'm sure we could make the McGriddle available after games, only for you @IlyaRosanov81✅

>Juno Positions @HaveYouEverTriedHollanov

>2017All Game Kiss @AloneInTheVIP2018 No but seriously how often is Rozy going to McDonald's to get that many points, gotta be every day right??!?!?!

>Ilya's sluttly lil chain @BottomFeeder514 Shane clearly has no part in this McDonalds addiction, so does he just sit in the passenger seat and get the bag from the drive thru shoved onto his lap or does Ilya order like this

>Ilya's Phat Ass Est.1991 @RozysSweetCheeks81Hollander probably makes him park up and pick it up inside. There is so many pap photos of Rosanov inside that damn McDonalds near the rink

>2017All Game Kiss @AloneInTheVIP2018 Roz has gotta be on first name basis with the all the staff there

 

First Husbands of Hockey @PikeApologist

Okay, but are we all just going to ignore that bomb Rosanov dropped on us @IlyaRosanov81 since when the fuck did you get that sluttly little gold septum piercing done?????

>Ilya Hollander-Rosanov @IlyaRosanov81✅ @PikeApologist I got it done when i was 19, would recommend, husband loves it

>Cliff Marleau @Marleau7Cliff✅ @IlyaRosanov81✅ Roz you know that ain't true, remember 2017?

>Ilya Hollander-Rosanov @IlyaRosanov81✅@Marleau7Cliff✅@PikeApologist Okay, fine, I got it when Shane was dating Rose because i wasn't okay and it was either nose ring or face tattoo