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Will took a deep breath, clinging onto the ladder with a firm grip. He still hadn’t gotten the chance to speak with Mike. He could only imagine what he would even say. Freak. Fairy. Weirdo. He’s heard them all. But they were right. There was something wrong with Will. No matter how many times his family had told him he’s not, Will knew better. Of course the guy he had fallen in complete love with would reject him.
His breathing turned shallow, head spinning. He didn’t even notice he wasn’t on the ladder anymore until he was standing, looking out over the railing. Focus. This isn’t about you, why do you always want attention? There it was. That little voice in his head, who sounded suspiciously like Mike. He didn’t know where it came from, but it had been there since he was a kid. That night Troy had pushed him to the ground in front of all his friends- which was very small at that point- it had taunted him. His hands gripped the cold metal.
Mike doesn’t love you. Will’s heart beat faster, why did it feel like someone was squeezing his heart? That look your family gave you after you wasted their time, it wasn’t love, or even acceptance. It was pity. They pity you because you couldn’t even speak to them, you couldn’t even say those two words.
Stop.
They pity you because no one else will. They’ll be disgusted. Your “family” won’t accept you for who you are, you only think they do.
Stop, please.
You saw them, right? Exchanging shared looks that you’re not a part of. They were upset you’d turned out this way. And your mother, it was in that moment she realised what a fuck up she has as a son-
“SHUT UP!” The voice left, and all Will could hear was the heavy breathing and small choking sounds that apparently he was making. He became all too aware of how close he was to the ledge, and just how dizzy he was.
The lighting flashed in the sky, illuminating his shaking hands that were turning white by how hard they were pressing into the metal. His vision swayed and tilted, and every breath hurt
“Will? You okay?” Shit. Why was Mike here? He can’t see me like this. Behind him, Mike walked forward into the edge of Will’s vision. He couldn’t bring himself to turn around, to face him. Will was too ashamed of who he was. Why can’t he be normal? I thought you should know by now that you will never be normal. You’ve known since you were a kid. And that was true, Will had always been abnormal, a monster. Maybe that's why he turned out to be such a freak.
“Who were you talking to? Oh my god, Will, are you crying?!” Without even realising, his tears had spilled, and all the walls he had built to stop it, overflowed. He let out a strangled sob. What are you doing? Boys don’t cry. But then again you are just a fairy, aren’t you? You even admitted it. A gentle hand lowered him to the floor, his legs giving way. Desperately, he wiped his tears, furious at himself. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He couldn’t.
Will tried to calm down, he really did, but the tears continued flowing. His head was a mess, and the only voice that drowned them out was the one in front of him. He muttered reassuring words that Will couldn't currently comprehend. Great, now you're showing your vulnerability to the one person you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t be this emotional, it’s wrong.
“Good, just get it all out. It’s okay.” Mike kept one hand on his arm, trying to ground Will back to reality. God, what do I do? Will is crying and I have no idea why, I should be able to stop this.
“But, boys don’t cry.” He said it as if it were a fact. It broke Mike’s heart to hear that, his voice sounding so young. They all were, but especially Will. He had his childhood stolen the minute he got taken by the demogorgon, all those years ago. Was it really that long ago? Mike remembered it well, the gut wrenching grief that consumed all of him. So many times he had gone to talk to Will, only to realise he was not there. The world had taken so much from him already, he didn’t need this. Didn’t need me, I’ve been a shit best friend recently.
“Who told you that?” It disgusted Mike that Will believed what he said. If that statement were true, Mike wouldn’t have spent those nights huddled in his sister’s lap, her humming or muttering reassurances softly, shaking and screaming because he wanted Will back. Even after he had returned, the nightmares continued. As he got older, they faded, and he stopped going to Nancy for help. Often, Mike had caught her looking at him, as if she knew something was wrong but couldn't help because they didn’t talk as much.
Now, he sat in front of Will Byers trying to comfort him. God, I’m useless at this. What good am I if I can’t even help my best friend. Mike stared directly into Will’s eyes, he sure did look pretty. Woah, that came outta nowhere. Mike was right though, the tears falling clumped his long, dark lashes together. God, I’m so disgusting, he needs help and I’m looking at him like a lost puppy dog. Get it together Wheeler.
Just then, Will’s sobs calmed, and Mike could finally see a flicker of recognition within his eyes. Good. Mike had some experience with panic attacks, and the worst was over. God, if I hadn’t got here, he would have completely shut down.
Will can feel himself become aware of the world around him, and all he could see were Mike Wheeler's eyes.
Why is he staring at me like that?
It’s because you're disgusting. You’re weak from crying and even weaker because you let it show.
But he looks concerned? Maybe?
He’s just scared you’ll slow him down. The others are sure to wonder what’s taking so long, come down here and see you being pathetic. Get it together. You’re weak.
If I was weak, how did I survive the Upside Down? If I was weak, how am I still here? I could've given up ages ago. The voice in his head paused, Will’s response was unexpected, to him and the voice. His throat no longer felt as if it was squeezing his airway, so he collected his thoughts and tried to form a sentence.
“Mike.. what are you doing here?” Mike could tell he was utterly exhausted, the grey circles under his eyes. How didn't he notice them before? Of course. He had been too focused on himself to even look at Will. Truth be told, Mike had been ignoring him these past months.
“I waited for you up there, but you didn’t come so I thought I’d check on you. Guess I’m glad I did.” Why would Mike even want to talk? I expected him to blatantly ignore me.
“But, why did you want to talk? Surely it could wait until, well, until we possibly save the world or end it.”
“Because if it was the end of the world, I would want to tell you something first.” That he hates you? Yeah, like that's not already apparent. Great, his inner voice had somehow picked up sarcasm.
In the years Will watched him, he could tell every nervous tic and emotion that ran through his head. So he was surprised to see Mike shifting from one leg to another. If Will didn't know any better he would say Mike was nervous, scared even.
“What did you want to say?” The silence stretched on, each of them unsure how to proceed.
“I just haven't talked to you in a while, wanted to check if you're okay.” okay… but why is he so nervous?
“And about what you said back there, I wanted to let you know I'm here for you no matter what.” Oh. Really?
“Um. Thanks.” This was really not what he expected. I thought he hated me? He does.
“Who's Tammy?” Mike asked. He waits for an answer, but he sees Will turn pale, although it was difficult to tell in this lighting. Mike can see him shutting down, mask sliding back in place, so he quickly changes the subject. “Water? It was a long climb and we still have a long way to go.” Will didn't think he was talking about the climb anymore, but he gratefully accepted the outstretched bottle Mike handed to him.
“Saving the word huh? Crazy to think it used to be just us with Lucas and Dustin playing D&D. It's gotten so much bigger than just a bunch of kids.” Mike said. Will realised just then how much he missed talking to him, and how distant they'd become recently.
Before Will could think, he stuttered out:
“I thought… after all of this is over, we could, be friends? Like how we were. Before California?" Will cringed inwardly at that last bit. Great. Now he had just called out Mike for not being his friend when they had moved. It was true though.
Freak. Weirdo. Fairy. That’s what he’s gonna say. Why can’t you accept that nobody will love you for what you said back there, let alone Mike?
“Friends? No thanks,” Will’s heart dropped, bitter disappointment and fear clenching his heart. Why was he surprised? Of course he hadn’t wanted to be friends with him. Nobody would. Mike had a small smirk on his face, and it taunted him. “Maybe… something more?”
Before Will could reply, Mike leaned forward, and his heart stopped. Nothing could prepare Will for what came next. Mike’s lips brushed his own tentatively, as if unsure if Will really wanted this. He could feel Mike’s hands on his waist, then arm. God for someone with so much experience, he sure was a nervous wreck. It was soft and sweet but sparks of electricity jumped inside of Will. His heart soared with hope. What the hell am I doing kissing Mike Wheeler? I’m just Will. He’s never been interested in me before. Or has he? Was my desire and longing shared? Mike pulled away, gasping for breath. Will realised he was standing up, pulled closely to his body. He hadn't been this close to anyone for years, not since him and Mike were inseparable as children. They did everything together. What happened to them?
“Sorry, um I’ve never kissed a boy before.” Will laughed. A proper, genuine laugh, not a mask put on to please his mother or friends. And Mike had made him do it. It had been a long time since he had seen that smile on his face, not since they were little playing on the swings. It suited him. God he was so beautiful.
The smile froze on his face, and dropped. “But.. This is stupid. I shouldn’t have kissed you. God.” Mike suddenly realised it was a mistake. Will didn’t want it. Just because he liked boys didn’t mean he liked him. Perhaps seeing Mike's crestfallen face, Will said:
“What about Eleven? She’s my sister, I can't just go kiss her boyfriend!” Mike left out a relieved sigh and chucked, much to the horror of Will.
“Will, we broke up last year.” Surprise flickered across his eyes briefly, confusion filling the rest.
*What? Why didn't you tell me?” The hurt was apparent in his voice, and Mike's smile froze before fading into regret.
*I thought that.. that you wouldn't care.” Will’s eyes widened in horror. No, he would never think that!
“Mike, why would I not care? I've tried so hard to be your friend but you kept pushing me away!”
He didn't mean to word it like that. He sighed.
“Will. The truth is.. I tried to talk, but I couldn't face you.”
“Why?” God, he looks so heartbroken… Why did I admit to ignoring him?
“Because.. because I was catching feelings.”
What?!
“I didn't know what to feel. I didn't even know these feelings were allowed, but when I saw you back in the Squawk, I realised I did have them. Towards you. And I think I always have. El was the first girl to not think of me as a freak, the first girl I was ever friends with. I thought it was love because I had never experienced anything else. But I now know what love is.”
Will tried to stop tears springing from his eyes, but he realised he didn't have to. With Mike he could show himself without fear. With Mike he didn't have to hold back tears. And in that moment he wanted Mike so much, before realising he was finally his.
“Then kiss me again.”
Something burst in him, every hint of anger and responsibility gone in seconds. This was everything he imagined. The first kiss they had shared was hesitant and clumsy. But this one ignited everything inside Will. The kiss went deeper, and suddenly he had a desire to explore Mike in his entirety. The background dropped away, and all that was left was him and this boy. Mike Wheeler. Nothing else mattered. Vecna could wait. Well actually he wouldn't, they probably should head up before anyone comes looking for him. It could've been hours, it could've been minutes they held each other before a sound behind them cleared its throat.
“Um.. kids I really hate to interrupt this moment which seems extremely private and really invasive to swoop in but… y’know, the world's kinda ending..”
The voice broke apart the dream, and Will jumped back to see Robin sheepishly grinning from the ladder leading above.
“Robin! How long were you standing there?” Robin's eyes flickered in between them two, blush creeping heavily onto the boy's faces.
“Um.. well you two really weren't taking a break anytime soon so I had to interrupt at some point. Everyone's getting worried, you two still didn't appear after about 15 minutes, so I offered to come look for you,” Robin rambled on, “And honestly so glad I did cause if it had been your brother… yeah that would be slightly more awkward. But lucky for you mini Byers, I came to the rescue!” Will groaned at the nickname, one that had apparently stuck to him already.
“The team thought you were kidnapped by Vecna again. Wait, too soon?” Will nodded, laughter building at the back of his throat.
“Yep, too soon. Well I'll give you two a moment to… finish up.” Robin gave him a wink and went up the ladder.
Both Will and Mike stood in silence as it all grew quiet.
“Um. Is Robin like.. okay with us being together?” Mike asked nervously. Will hadn't even thought about how Mike was going to tell his friends and family, and if they were gonna announce their relationship. Wait. Were they dating? There would be plenty of time for that after saving the world. Hopefully.
“Course. She was the first person I came out to, and she supported me and gave me more than I deserve.”
“Will, you deserve everything.” Mike said before pressing a quick kiss to his forehead, which just so happened to be the perfect height. The affection was… strange. Strange but not unwelcome.
“So should we head up?” Mike realised his hand still rested on Will's arm, and slid it down to join his hand. Clasping each other's hands and sharing a grin, they walked towards the ladder.
“Yeah.”
And for once the voice was silent.