Chapter Text
the stairs blurred randomly, no amount of blinking clearing his vision and suddenly he was scared. He looked back up to try call for his big brother but no words left his mouth, only being able to gasp before...
"Sam? Sam!"
....
Sam's body started to hit the ground before anyone could react, his knees crashing against the wooden floor before he fell forward towards the small set of stairs. As soon as his body tilted forward, Dean was there wrapping his arms around his brother's shoulders and pulling him into his lap as he took a seat on the stairs.
Mary, John and Cas rushed over shoulder to shoulder, Cas staying a few paces back to let the Winchester's huddle around their Sammy.
Dean tapped Sam's cheek, his baby brother's body laying limply across his lap.
"Sam? Sammy?!" Dean gave him a gentle shake but got no reaction.
"Fucking hell, Sam" he mumbled, leaning his head against his brother and just holding him for a moment.
Mary came and sat beside her boys, hands moving to each of their backs. John had already run off with some purpose, coming back only a few moments later with a wet cloth and a thermometer.
"He looks flushed to me" he said, crouching down.
"Yeah, he's drunk" Dean replied, but letting Sam down a little so John could slip the thermometer between Sam's lips, their father putting a gentle hand under the younger's jaw to keep the instrument in place.
"He's what?" John finally panted, not really rendering what Dean had said.
"He went out, got himself drunk and then tried to walk home since he got the keys taken off him by the barkeep. Then at some point he tripped or something and spit his head open. The only reason he doesn't have a head wound is because I healed him" Dean explained.
"So why aren't you doing anything now?" John scoffed "can't you heal him of this?"
"Not necessarily. Especially if I don't know what's wrong" Dean defended.
"Really?" His father huffed.
"Yeah. And for your information, it takes a lot of energy for me to use my vessel in this state" Dean snapped back.
John scrunched up his face "don't call yourself that" he seemed more offended or worried rather than judgmental.
"Well it's not myself, is it? It's my fucking corpse-".
Cas and Mary shook their heads in unison.
"Enough" they both barked
"Ugh, John and Sammy are bad enough, I don't need you two bickering as well" Mary scolded, reaching over to take the thermometer which had beeped at some point during the argument.
Mary shook her head again.
"No fever" she reported, flashing the others the screen before chucking it onto the nearby table.
"He looks awfully pale" Cas noted.
"Let's get him to bed. We'll just have to wait for him to wake up" Dean said, bracing himself to lift Sam.
John stood and backed up a little, hands hovering out.
"I can take his legs or something if ya need" he offered.
Dean shook his head "I got him" he said, scooping the lanky form of his brother into his arms.
His brow furrowed immediately and he looked down as Sam's squished form.
"He's lighter" he whispered, gaining equally concerned looks from the others without needing to say anymore.
______
Dean sighed, slumped into his seat and taking hold of Sam's hand. Eileen was stood on the other side of the bed with her hands clasped to his chest, silent from being somewhat stunned by Dean's presence in combination to the worry of Sam's sudden collapse.
John and Mary, like usual decided to give Sam space. Leaving him to Dean and Eileen as not to crowd him just yet. Cas followed after them, though he was reluctant to leave Dean, the angel's hand having lingered on the other's shoulder even while he began to step away.
After a long while of scanning over his face, Eileen finally broke the silence.
"Dean?" Her voice wouldn't go any higher than a whisper, but it made Dean look up.
He gave a quick smile and nodded at her "hey" he whispered back, not worried about his voice being audible.
"I'm glad you back" she signed to accompany her words, giving a weak but genuine smile.
Dean managed a smile as well and nodded again "me too" he mouthed.
His eyes drifted back to Sam's face, which still sat unmoving and peaceful in his unconscious state.
He sighed heavily, shaking his head as he rose it back up, not looking at Eileen back conscious to make sure she could see his mouth.
"I-I don't know what's wrong" he choked, sucking in a shaky breath "I-if I knew what's wrong I might be able to help" he lamented, brow furrowed and worried eye's locking back onto his brother's face.
Eileen quirked an eyebrow, relaxing enough to let herself sit down on the bed, turning to face Dean and tilting her head.
"Can't you just...generally heal him?" She questioned.
Dean huffed a little, feeling the irritation rise though him at the ask, less at Eileen and more of the replay of John asking the same thing.
He bit his lip and shut his eyes, looking away for a moment before pointing his face back into her view.
"It's not that simple" he mouthed, eyes still downcast.
Eileen nodded, muttered an 'oh' of disappointed realisation as she too looked away.
After a long stretch of silence, Eileen looked back up with a heavy sigh.
"I think I know what's wrong" she said.
Dean met her eyes finally "you do?"
She nodded before looking down at Sam "I think his body's just had enough" she guessed.
Dean's panic rose. His brow furrowed and he stared at her for an explanation.
"What?" He rasped, leaning down to try get himself in her view.
Eileen looked back "He hasn't really been...taking care of himself since you left" she signed some of her sentence, a frown playing on her face when she was done.
Dean scoffed, brow furrowed and eyes wanting to tear up. He took a deep breath and pushed back his 'human' emotions, hiding them behind the wall of grace as he looked back at Sam.
"He...didn't eat much, barely slept" she listed, looking at Dean and hoping he'd look back.
got shitfaced drunk alone at a bar Dean added quietly, biting his lip and continuing to stare down at Sam.
"Dammit" he cursed through gritted teeth.
He shook his head and held Sam's hand a little tighter, bringing his other to cover his mouth, fiddling with his stubble and scared skin.
Eileen looked away from Dean and back to Sam. She shuffled a little closer, bringing her legs up on the bed to lean against the pillows, reaching up to run a hand through Sam's hair.
_____
Sam groaned, turning his head against the pillow as he struggled to open his eyes. When they finally did open, he was forced to shut them again, blinking a few times to clear his vision before Dean was in view.
Dean wasn't looking at him, sitting by the bed with his eyes shut and his hand clasped around Sam's, the other over his own face.
Sam grumbled but didn't seem to get his attention, making his pout.
"Dee" He rasped, slurring the word so much it had just sounded like a hum. But it got the job done, making Dean's eyes open and look down at Sammy.
"Hey" he immediately perked up, reaching over Sam to gently pat Eileen's shoulder, since she had been in a light sleep by this point.
He cupped Sam's face, making the younger pout a little more in protest "how're you feeling?" He asked, keeping his growing irritation at bay.
"...Ok" Sam croaked, trying to swat Dean's hand away and sit up.
"Not yet Sam" Eileen said, placing a hand on his chest to keep him down.
Sam looked over at her with a huff, and she smiled and signed as she quietly spoke "I'll get you some water, ok? Stay down for now".
She looked up and nodded at Dean before she shifted off the bed and hurried out of the room.
Dean's hand took up the space Eileen's had left in Sam's hair, running his fingers through the soft strands. Sam whined at the sensation but leaned into it, letting his eyes fall shut.
"You ok?" Dean whispered, biting back the guilt clawing at his throat at the sight of his brother's pale face.
Sam gave a weak nod "yeah" he rasped "I-I think I..." he paused, eyes flickering away from Dean as he considered the truth.
"Let yourself go?" Dean jabbed, but there was little humour behind it.
Sam's heart skipped and he nodded with gritted teeth and an averted gaze.
"Yeah. I know" Dean huffed, looking back up at the door just as Eileen came back in.
Dean smiled at her and stood up, letting his hand stray from his brother's hair as he strolled to the end of the bed. Turning to watch Eileen fuss over his brother.
"Come on" she said "sit up now, have a drink".
Sam groaned as he pushed himself up and accepted the glass from Eileen with a whispered and weakly signed 'thank you', beginning to take small sips.
Eileen smoothed Sam's hair back and they seemed to be having a silent conversation- Sam occasionally putting his glass in his lap to sign and Eileen having to make him pick it back up. They'd both laugh, and Sam would sip some more water.
At some point it seems they'd forgotten Dean was there, probably because he purposely made himself unnoticeable, remaining at the end of the bed while the scene continued without him. He saw how it might have been without him, and he felt nothing...right?
He eventually sighed and turned to leave the room, slowly trotting out and heading down the hall aimlessly with his hand's tucking into the pockets of the unfamiliar light-wash jeans.
______
Dean trotted into the kitchen, where Cas was sat alone at the table staring into nothing. He smiled as he approached silently for a few steps, Cas not noticing him.
"Deep in thought?" Dean asked, pausing at the edge of the table.
Cas looked up at him and sat straighter, his chest snapping through emotions as he gazed at Dean.
First looking up, Cas was a little surprised but glad and joyous to hear and to see Dean. But as soon as he looked his partner in the eyes, he didn't know what to feel. For the eyes looking back at him were unmistakably Dean's, though the thin layer of grace covering them made him seem emotionless and possessed- which he technically was, but it shouldn't seem like it, right? Dean was still Dean despite being an angel now, at least that's what he claimed.
Cas cleared his throat "N-no. I..." he paused, sighing as he looked away and trying to settle his conflicting emotions.
He smiled a little and looked back up at Dean, prepping to stand.
"Would you like a beer?" The angel asked, getting up from his seat to gesture to the fridge.
"No thank you" Dean replied, gaze drifting to the second doorway almost robotically "though I do think there is something you could help me with"
Cas tilted his head and furrowed his brow a little "like what?" He asked.
The smile pieced the wall of grace, lifting Dean's cheeks and clearing the glaze from his eyes for a moment.
Cas' brow furrowed a little more "what?" He hesitated, feeling a little undressed by the way Dean was looking at him.
"You're adorable" Dean cooed, before clearing his throat and returning some of the glaze to his eyes as he looked towards the kitchen in front of him.
"Now" he began "Sammy hasn't been taking care of himself, so he needs some catch up- which he surely isn't going to do by himself" Dean said, walking past Cas and into the kitchen.
Cas twitched a little in surprise "what?" He repeated, turning around so his gaze could follow Dean, who was now opening cupboards and pulling this out of them.
"Family dinner" he announced with a smile, turning to look at Cas and lean on the counter, the glaze was still over his eyes "you're gonna help me with it" he added proudly.
"Oh, Dean..." Cas began, pausing reluctantly as Dean went back to rummaging, mumbling something about grocery shopping as he pulled out and smelt a box of something from the fridge.
Cas shifted his position and fiddled with his hands "Dean. I-I don't really know how to cook" he admitted, eyes darting wherever Dean did "I'm...not the best at it. I'm...pretty bad actually"
Dean paused and perked up, looking over at Cas from the other side of the kitchen "oh, so am I. But we'll make it work" Dean turned back to what he was doing "Angel on angel and all" he paused and sat up again, a certain realisation in his eyes before he smirked "though I'm sure that could be something else as well" he whispered, chuckling to himself.
"What?" Cas choked out, definitely hearing him from the light flush the formed on the top of his cheeks.
______
Mary and John were sat in the library together in silence when Dean came in carrying way too many plates, cutlery and even placemats. They perked up, watching confused as their space was invaded so that Dean could push things out of the way to put everything in his hands down. Cas came in slowly with a wide-eyed awkward expression carrying a large sauté pan full of some kind of pasta steaming inside.
Mary stood up to get out of Cas' way while Dean laid a tea towel down for Cas to place the dish on.
John was still in his seat on the other side of the table, now having utensils placed in front of him.
"What is going on?" He questioned, looking up at his quick working son.
"We um, we cooked dinner- or, Dean cooked dinner" Cas said, stepping back as Dean continued to rush around the table laying out spots- exactly six of them.
"Really?" Mary mused, tilting her head.
"Yep" Dean finally stopped and stepped back, hands on his hips and eyes bouncing around the table.
He them smiled, looked up at everyone before his invisible wings flapped and he was gone. Only for a moment however, for he them flew back in with Eileen, Sam and Jack in toe, Jack already having a snack in hand and Sam still having the empty glass he'd been fiddling with.
"What?" Sam squeaked.
"It's dinner time" Dean announced, patting the two boys' backs before he rounded the table and rushed back to the kitchen, coming quickly back with a serving spoon and placing it beside the pan.
"You-" Sam cut himself off and looked around the table "dinner time?" He wrinkled his nose, but he couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah" Dean replied, his eyes then went to Eileen who looked a little confused. He smiled and signed an explanation which then made her nod, though she still seemed stunned.
"I made pasta" Dean said, gesturing to the pan.
"I-I can see that" Sam replied, looking hesitantly up at his brother. Still in his unfamiliar clothes and now sporting an uncharacteristically eccentric aura.
"Well don't just stand there" Dean scoffed, glancing around at everyone. Not even needing to finish his sentence before everyone began sitting down at the placed spots.
____
They all had a full plate and a different drink in front of each of them- except for Cas and Dean, who had empty plates and no drinks, sitting next to each other just glacning around the table.
Sam looked up from his meal, chewing still as he locked onto Dean.
He swallowed and choked a little as he spoke "dude. You want a beer or something?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Dean shrugged "not really" he replied "it'll just be a waste" he gave Sam a glazed over smile before glancing away.
"Hey" Sam called, catching Dean's attention back. Sam smirked a little and chucked the napkin from under his plate at Dean.
"Dude!" Dean groaned, flinching away and pushing his chair back so the material fell on the floor "you wiped your nose with that I watched you. Gross!" He huffed, hands drawn to his chest in weak fists.
Sam laughed, leaning forward over the table as he coughed a little, John rubbing his back after a few especially bad ones, though Sam was still smiling when he looked back up.
"You are such a pussy" Sam jabbed.
"That's your snot!" Dean retorted, pointing to the napkin on the floor "I don't want that. I had to put up with it enough when you were a kid".
Cas was looking back at Dean and smiling. Less at the comedy of the situation and more at the lack of glaze over Dean's eyes, now allowing all the emotion they normally had. Making Dean look like himself again.
"You're an angel now. You can't get sick" Sam noted, grabbing a different napkin to wipe his face with as he sniffled and cleared his throat.
"It's still gross" Dean snapped, pouting at his brother.
Sam smirked wider and chucked the new napkin in Dean's direction, it landing on the table but still causing Dean to back up.
"Dude!"
Sam laughed again, leaning back in his chair, Eileen beside him a little confused but amused, nonetheless.
"Boys" John huffed "come on, enough" he sighed, shaking his head and lifting his beer to take a sip.
Sam sniffled again and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
John glanced over as he put his beer down "feeling a bit sick?" He guessed.
Sam nodded, clearing his throat and sniffling again "yeah, a little" he croaked.
Meanwhile, Cas picked up the napkins and moved them so Dean could come back to the table, pouting as he did so. Mary chuckled and patted his shoulder, wine glass in hand.
"Jack, slow down" Cas remined, shaking his head at his son who was leaned over his plate shovelling food into his mouth.
At the warning, Jack perked up with his mouth full, meeting Cas' eyes and slowly beginning to sit up, picking up his cup of juice to take few big sips.
Cas shook his head again with a sigh.
Jack smiled, finally swallowing his mouthful of food and looking around at the table "this is fun" he beamed.
Sam nodded "yeah it is" he agreed, eyes drifting to Dean, whose face had settled into a smile as well.