Chapter Text
It´s a rare lull in the ED and Robby actually has a chance to sit down to finish his cup of tea. It´s long gone cold, and he makes a face at the overbearingly sweetness of it. He had tried to offset the bitterness of overly steeped tea by dumping in four spoonfuls of sugar. It didn´t improve the taste.
He wishes it was coffee - fucked up sleep schedule be damned - but when he´d reached for the pot earlier it was as if he could hear Jack´s voice in the back of his mind, and he had sounded disappointed.
Hence, herbal delight.
He grimaces, and pretends he didn´t when Mohan suddenly appears, a chart held in front of her chest like a safety blanket. He straightens up to show he´s listening.
"Dr. Robby. I think I have a cauda equina patient in North 10." Samira says briskly.
And just like that the lull is over and Robby hastens to follow her, listening to her present the case on the way.
Out of habit he takes stock of the room, making sure he´s on top of things.
Santos and Wittaker are sitting by one of the desks, heads close together. He doesn´t really get the friendship but he thinks it´s good for them. Since the shift´s been unusually calm so far he doesn´t even scold them for gossiping instead of charting.
He spots McKay talking a patient through aftercare. King is in triage with the med students. He focuses his hearing and catches Ogilvie rattling off an unnecessarily long answer to a question she must have asked. He tunes it out again and refocuses on the room.
Frank- Langdon is on the phone, arguing with psych about a consult. Robby watches him run a hand through his hair, mindlessly messing up the strands even more than the shift has already done.
As if sensing his gaze, Langdon looks up. Their eyes meet for a fleeting second, before Robby shifts his to a more safe place just over his shoulder.
He doesn´t see Langdon´s sad expression, but he doesn´t need to.
They haven´t really talked since Langdon´s been back. Not for lack of trying on the younger doctor´s part, but Robby´s still too - what, hurt? Angry? He doesn´t even know.
Jack keeps trying to make him talk about it. Insists that they need to clear the air, and that what Robby´s doing isn´t healthy. That he isn´t coping - but what else is new? Jack worries that the extra stress will make him zone, but Robby, contrary to popular belief, actually knows when to quit while ahead.
He had watched Langdon like a hawk at first, waiting for the next fuck up. Watching his every move, while still refusing to actually look at him. Feeling petty and vindicated when he became flustered. Seeing all the second guessing, so out of character. It felt good watching Langdon stumble. An ugly part of Robby enjoying that he could make him feel off balance.
Some sort of revenge for the way Langdon had made him feel when the truth of his addiction came to light.
It felt good but it didn´t help. Didn´t change things.
Despite everything Langdon didn´t fuck up, not back in the beginning, and he still hasn´t now. He is slower, more hesitant when Robby´s around, but he´s still good at his job, still a good doctor. Still here to stay, it would seem.
Making an effort to tune out the rest of the ED, Robby focuses on Mohan´s continued report as they head to North 10.
---
Later, with a MRI having confirmed the diagnosis and ortho having rolled the patient away, Robby pats Mohan on the shoulder with a ´good job´ that makes her light up and walk away with a bit of a pep in her step.
Robby rubs his eyes wondering when his residents became so starved for validation that such a small compliment makes their day. Is he that hard to please? No wonder Jack´s been nagging him to take a vacation. A vacation. Jack. Really.
Speak of the devil.
Jack walks in, half an hour early like usual, with a takeout tray carrying two Starbucks cups in one hand.
"Hey," he greets, leaning over to give Robby a quick kiss.
"That for me?" Robby asks, eyeing the steam still coming from the cups.
"Don´t get to excited, it´s decaf," Jack smirks.
Robby takes the offered cup, letting the heat warm his hands.
"Whatever, you love me."
Jack smiles back, that small, half-smile, that´s reserved for Robby alone, and neither confirms nor denies the statement.
They stand in front of the digital board, subconsciously mirroring each other - arms crossed, coffee mug in one hand - as Robby talks him through hand off. He knows that Jack´s listening closely, even as his eyes roam over the hustle and bustle that is shift exchange.
His eyes jumping from person to person, checking on colleagues and patients alike, until they land on Langdon standing near the exit. His gaze stays there.
Robby wraps it up and gives Jack a look.
"I didn´t say anything." Jack says, taking a sip from his decidedly not decaf coffee.
"You didn´t have to."
"So?"
"What?"
"Has he killed anyone yet, or what?" Jack gives him a side-eye, feigning innocence.
"Yeesh, Jack," Robby says, perhaps a bit too loud, as he catches Langdon´s head snapping up before turning toward them.
"What?" Jack shrugs. "That´s what you´re waiting for, right?"
Robby huffs and looks away.
"He did fine. Picking up his pace, actually," he admits, sipping his own cup. It´s better than the tea but still not as good as the real deal.
"Mm. Yeah, I noticed that. Even saw him smile the other night."
Langdon´s been picking up night shifts lately. It should make it easier for Robby to breathe, but instead, annoyingly, he feels Langdon´s absence like a wound.
It´s like when he was away at rehab, only worse, because he´s not really gone this time.
Jack´s been trying to give him updates, but Robby doesn´t want to hear about how Langdon´s been thriving on nights. About how Jack´s gremlins have welcomed him with open arms. He doesn´t want to hear about how Jack is able to do what Robby can not - move on and see Langdon for who he is now, rather than who he used to be. To look at him and see past the betrayal. Not see Robby´s own failings staring back at him.
"Yeah, whatever," he says without acknowledging the dig. "I´m taking you out for breakfast tomorrow. Try to get off on time, would you?"
Jack raises his hand in a two finger salute and smiles. Robby can almost hear the dirty joke he´s repressing. He rolls his eyes and walks away.
In the locker room, he runs into Langdon.
Langdon looks up, doing a double take when he sees Robby, before focusing back on tying his shoes. He´s still in his scrubs but has his jacket on. His bag sits on the floor next to him.
"Hey boss," he says, awkward in a way they never used to be before. Robby hears him swallow, watches his Adam´s apple bob.
"Hey," Robby says, grabbing his backpack from his locker - quick in and out, efficient as always.
Langdon´s still tying his laces, movements unnecessarily slow. Robby realizes he´s stalling, probably trying to avoid them walking out together.
It kind of stings, the way Langdon doesn´t want to spend any more time than necessary with him. Which is hypocritical, he knows.
But he´s used to Langdon being puppy-like in his need for approval, looking at him with big eyes, begging for scraps of affection.
As he hurries out of the hospitals he thinks back on how it used to be. There used to be a time when Langdon would loiter around the hub just to catch Robby leave. He´d rush after him, forget half his stuff on the way, just to walk Robby out to his bike. Sometimes tag along for an after-shift drink.
There used to be a time when Langdon would do anything to spend more time with him, and a time where Robby enjoyed the attention.
And not just because of the ego boost of having a young, good looking guy hanging around him. Okay, it was a little bit that. Jack used to needle him endlessly about it in the beginning, before he got to know Langdon.
Robby liked Frank. He liked his high energy, his enthusiasm. The way he´d talk about medicine with shining eyes. The way he used to listen to the old stories about him and Jack back in the ER in the 90´s. Listening and learning, always learning.
Jack had liked him too. Despite the teasing, there hadn´t been any ill intent. Jack had welcomed him with open arms. They´d had him over for barbecue once in the summer. Robby had gotten a bit tipsy and stared a little too long at Langdon´s thighs where his shorts had ridden up. Jack - never one for jealousy - had smirked when he noticed. He´d then shifted just a bit too close, touching just a bit too informally for someone who was technically a superior. Still smirking at Robby, keeping eye contact.
After, when Langdon had poured himself into an Uber, he and Jack had gotten each other off, right there in the backyard, neighbors be damned.
Later, tucked into bed, Jack had traced a complicated pattern through Robby´s chest hair and said he was open to it, if Robby was.
It being Frank.
It wouldn´t even be the first time they had invited someone else into their bed, but it had felt different because it was Frank. With his too blue eyes and too earnest smile. Someone already a part of their life. So Robby had thought about it, and they talked about it some more - because that was Jack, always talking things through - and they had decided to take it slow, see where it would lead them.
And then.
Pittfest happened.