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Mel felt rather than heard Langdon approach.
“Did I do something?” he asked by way of a greeting.
She looked up at him and pushed her glasses up her nose by the nosepiece. “No, why do you ask?”
“I just feel like you’ve been…avoiding me.” It was impossible to miss the doubt in his voice.
She was avoiding him, of course. Ever since Santos’ little crack the other day.
Which was silly. Why on earth would she listen to Santos, of all people? Her fellow second-year resident was famous among the staff for not playing well with others–espeically where Langodn was concerned. She was the last person Mel should expect to be objective.
But something about the comment had stuck in her craw. And so she’d pulled away, forced herself to tamp down on what she told herself was strictly professional admiration for Dr. Langdon.
Except now here he was, standing over her, looking down at her in that warm, chocolate-chip-cookie way he did when he could tell she was reaching her limit.
“I h-haven’t been avoiding you,” she stammered, averting her gaze back to the tablet in her hands.
Langdon huffed out a short, dry laugh. “Dr. King, you are gifted at many things. Lying does not happen to be one of them.”
“I’m not–that is–you haven’t done anything wrong.” She kicked herself mentally for switching thoughts mid-stream.
He leaned against the desk behind them and crossed his arms. “So you are avoiding me, just not because of anything I did.”
Mel swallowed. “I’ve just been busy.”
“Mel.”
Just her name. Quiet. Not pushing. Worse than if he had pushed.
Around them, the ED moved in its usual blur of organized catastrophe. A trauma alert was being called overhead. Someone laughed too loudly at the nurses’ station. A monitor chimed somewhere down the hall in shrill, repetitive protest. The whole place carried on as though her insides were not currently trying to claw their way out through her ribs.
Langdon stepped closer, but not too close. He was good at that. Good at reading the exact edge of her comfort and stopping there.
“Seriously. Did I do something?” he asked again, more gently this time. “Because if I did, I need you to tell me.”
The hurt in his voice scraped at her conscience.
“No,” she said, and this time it came out more honestly. “You didn’t do anything.”
“Then what is it?”
In that moment, she realized he wasn’t going to just let it go. Frank Langdon was nothing if not persistent, sticking with a problem until he found the solution. Evidently, she was his current most pressing problem.
With a sigh, she turned to face him, forgetting her charting entirely for the moment. “Someone made a comment, and I just…I don’t like people talking about me.”
His brow furrowed and he leaned forward, instantly concerned.
“Who was it and what did they say?”
For a second she considered staying vague, but she knew he’d never let it drop. If she had any hope of getting out of this conversation anytime soon, she had to just tell him the truth and get it over with.
“Santos. She said that I…” Her cheeks flooded red with embarrassment. “She said I follow you around like…like a–a ‘sad little puppy dog’.”
HIs expression darkened and she watched a muscle tick in his jaw. He and Santos were hardly on friendly terms, which didn’t help matters.
“She had no business talking to you that way,” he said in a low, warning voice.
Mel shrugged, trying to make it seem like no big deal.
“It’s Santos,” she said by way of explanation. “She just says things without caring how it affects other people. I’m used to it.”
“Clearly not if it made you afraid to come near me.” His nostrils flared slightly, a clear sign that he was legitimately angry.
The last thing she’d expected from Langdon when she admitted the reason for her pulling back was rage. She’d thought he would laugh it off, or become awkward with her and assume Santos was right (which…maybe she was).
Mel scrubbed a hand over her face, pushing her glasses out of the way. “See? It’s not you. It’s…it’s me. I just hate the idea of people talking about me.”
Langdon brushed her fear aside with a wave of his hand. “Who cares what people say? Just live your life and let them say what they want.”
“Easy for you to say,” Mel snapped in a rare show of temper. “You say something awkward and people think it’s charming. I say the wrong thing and I’m ‘that weird girl in the glasses’.”
She looked away and blinked rapidly to hold back the moisture welling in her eyes. “I’ve been a social reject my entire life. Even while you were gone–hardly anyone even finished a conversation with me. They all wander off as soon as something better comes along.”
“Better than you?” Langdon asked, sounding truly shocked at the idea.
Mel looked down at the ancient linoleum and hugged her arms around herself, as if that was enough to hold in the hurt. “People get bored, or weirded out. I’m too calm, or too intense, or too awkward…Everyone acts like I’m this rare animal they’re not sure what to do with.”
Langdon took a step closer, still maintaining a professionally appropriate distance.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve never felt that way. And I don’t think you follow me around like a puppy.” Then he dropped his voice. “Or if you do, I follow you right back.”
Her breath caught in her throat and she looked up at him. “What?”
He swallowed, considering his words a moment. “You’re a very talented doctor, Mel. I like to get your opinion. You see things in a different way than everyone else, and you’re a stronger doctor for it.”
“I don’t want to be the person who makes things harder for you,” she said quietly. “I don’t want you to be stuck with me just because you’re the only one who knows how my brain works.”
Langdon’s expression softened further, almost pained. “I’m not stuck with you. I choose you. Every shift. Every consult. Every time I could grab anyone else and I pick you instead.” He paused, then added softer, “And not because I feel sorry for you. Because I like who I am better when you’re around.”
Mel stared at him for several uncomfortable seconds. Nothing he said was suggestive or crossed any professional boundaries, but there was something in his eyes when he said it…
For the first time since her first day at The Pitt, Mel didn’t feel like a burden everyone simply tolerated. At least not to him.