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Cody ignores the lurch in his chest at the words. He takes one moment to close his eyes, breathe in deeply, and be sad. It's not really a surprise. It was almost inevitable, with the osik his General got into. Cody's mostly just stupidly glad that he got the chance to know someone so utterly, insanely, incredible.
Then he finishes reading the rest of the missive. Because he's the Marshal Commander of an army and has a job to do.
The rest of the message is... not right.
His General would only be taken out by a bounty hunter sniping him if he'd lost access to the force. And maybe not even then.
The intel they get is always bad, but this is worse than usual. Significantly worse.
No. There's something here they're not being told. Something they're deliberately not being told.
This looks like a classic misdirect and cover up.
A big, showy, funeral. That the 212th aren't invited to. That the 212th are being sent to the opposite side of the Galaxy for. The 212th who are most likely to see through whatever the kriff this is. A big, showy, funeral to draw attention. But from what? That his General isn't actually dead? That doesn't make sense. His General has one of the most distinctive and recognisable appearances in the Galaxy. A poncho isn't going to work if his funeral is being shown on every news channel.
Unless they change his face.
Oh for kriffs sake.
His General is dressing up as the damn bounty hunter that apparently shot him. Of course he is. That's Jedi logic right there. Find the stupidest thing you can possibly think of, and then do it with glee. There's probably some super secret Separatist plot or something that he's infiltrating. The Seppies do tend to use bounty hunters, so that tracks. And it'll be something 'important' if they chose his General for it, rather than, you know, a shadow who's been trained for that sort of thing.
Someone will be trying to assassinate the Chancellor. Again.
Cody sighs. At least he's well out of it.
Now he has to tell his men.
Something.
Somehow.
How's he going to phrase that anyway?
'General's up to his usual osik again'?
Actually yes. It's informative, concise, and not technically something he can get into trouble for.
"Sir?" Waxer asks, "There's no way the General's actually dead, right?"
Boil scoffs "From some wannabe sniper?"
"With a big showy funeral like that?" Wooley adds, voice full of disgust. "Textbook misdirect."
Cody raises one eyebrow.
"Are you doubting the intel we're being sent?"
Wooley gasps dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest.
"Sir! We would never!"
"I can't believe you think we would ever do that." Waxer adds.
"I'm very offended, Sir." Boil tells him.
Cody must have been really evil in a past life to get saddled with these di'kuts in this one. He hopes it was worth it.
"Hypothetically, Sir,"
Cody slowly turns his best death glare on Waxer. No sentence that has ever started 'Hypothetically' has ever ended well. Ever.
"What would happen if we pretended the Negotiator got blown up, disguised ourselves as the bounty hunters who did it, and went to help the General?"
Cody closes his eyes briefly, and summons the dregs of his patience.
"How, exactly, are you expecting this to work?" He asks. It's important for people to realise their own mistakes. Cody just helps them along.
"Lots of bounty hunters are Mandalorian." Waxer starts.
"Mandalorians wear armour." Boil continues.
"We wear armour." Waxer finishes triumphantly. "We just need a new paint job, then nobody will know it's us!"
Cody must have more dregs of patience around here somewhere. Surely.
"No." He says. "We are not going to pretend to blow up the ship, disguise ourselves as Hardeens and go help the General."
"But who even knows where his lightsaber is, Sir." Wooley says, tooka eyes in full effect.
And that... is a valid point.
"He could have dropped it anywhere!" Wooley continues.
For kriffs sake.
"Overkill, Wooley." Cody tells him. "The first sentence was sufficient."
"But it's fun." The menace pouts.
His men take his capitulation as a given without him needing to say anything.
"What even is the plural of Hardeen?" Boil asks, pensively. "Hardeens doesn't feel right?"
"Hardie?" Waxer suggests.
"Hardoe?"Boil counters. And that's it, they're off.
"Hardope?"
"Hardipie?"
"Hardinie?"
"Hardipusses?"
"Boil, he's not an octopus." Waxer pauses and adds "At the moment, anyway." He pauses again. "Probably." Because yet another mysterious force artifact that will turn his General into a random animal is currently missing from today's Force-Osik bingo.
"Hardipode?" Wooley asks.
There's a pause as Ghost all make eye contact. Cody sighs, and picks up his datapad. Hardipode it is then.
"I'm vetoing blowing up the Negotiator." Cody informs them. Because apparently that is a sentence that needs to be said.
"We'd only pretend to blow it up, Sir." Waxer defends.
"And then how will you explain how a supposedly exploded ship is currently unexploded and in the possession of a group of bounty hunters?"
Waxer pauses.
"We could just say we found one that looked the same?"
Cody despairs. These are supposed to be some of the finest tactical minds in the GAR.
"And where would we have found it?"
"We could... capture it from someone?"
Cody stares calmly at him. "Someone like the 212th?" He suggests.
"Ohhhh."
"We get to kill ourselves!" Wooley chirps in excitement, bouncing on his toes.
"Quit with the excitement, vod," Boil scolds, "or Shrink will catch you and therapise you."
Wooley huffs, annoyed. "Shrink is very helpful with my inner demons. Mine's called Fluffy and we're training him to be nice. He's going to be a guard inner demon and then he'll brutally attack any Sith that try and get in my head."
Cody pities any Sith attempting to get into Wooley's head. He's a manipulative little shit at the best of times, add in Shrink's psychology and the Sith won't stand a chance.
Waxer and Boil are both staring at Wooley warily.
"You're training your inner demons to be nice?" Boil asks carefully.
"Yep!" Wooley chirps. "Fluffy gets brain cookies when he's good, and I spray him with the mental water bottle when he's bad."
Cody has absolutely no idea what Shrink is learning on the holonet.
"And when the Sith gets in" Wooley continues, "I'll unleash him." His grin is terrifying.
"Note to self," Boil mutters, "if you ever catch the force, keep well clear of Wooley's brain."
That sounds like good advice.
Cody isn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when he gets a message from his General notifying them of both his imminent arrival and his continued alive status. They'd only just finished repainting their armour. The di'kuts had been looking forward to making a nuisance of themselves.
"My dears?" His, apparently hairless, General asks, stepping out of the shuttle and looking around with confusion. "I must say, you all look very smart in your new paint."
"It's the Hardipode colours, Sir." Cody informs him.
"I'm sorry?"
"The Hardipode are a group of rogue Mandalorian bounty hunters who brutally eliminated the 212th, spaced their bodies, and took control of their venator. We've named her the Debater, Sir." Cody explains. "We were just on our way to rendezvous with Rako Hardeen, a bounty hunter we frequently work with, only to find he's been captured by the Jedi."
The General doesn't seem any less confused.
"This... must have taken a while?" He asks slowly.
"Just short of a tenday, Sir." Cody confirms. Was his General's first thought that they'd only started this after they'd received official notice of what had happened? That they hadn't all been immediately about to chase after him the moment they'd realised he was on a mission without them?
"The hardest part was getting Kote here to agree to go along with it." Waxer moans. "It took aaages."
Cody carefully doesn't roll his eyes.
"Someone had to rationally consider the risks involved with eliminating an entire battalion of the GAR on a pointless quest to help a man who was probably perfectly capable of assassinating the Chancellor without our help."
"We could have been the moral support!" Waxer protests.
"Also, he didn't manage to assassinate the Chancellor at all. He got captured by Jedi and impersonated." Boil points out.
"Yeah, that." Waxer agrees, although he's blinking as he tries to sort through the tangle of logic they've got themselves tied up in.
"Kote, was it?" The General asks, a little smile on the corner of his lips. Apparently he's finally understood that they were coming for him. "Forgive me for saying, but you seem really quite familiar. I'm sure I've seen a scar very much like yours somewhere before."
"Coincidence, Sir." Cody informs him, utterly deadpan. "It's a very easy scar to get. Very prominent part of the anatomy, easily damaged."
"Ah, I see. My apologies then, my dear."
"Thank you, Sir." Cody pauses. "And Sir?"
"Yes, my dear?"
"Most people call me Cody. It's easier to pronounce, and to be honest, Sir, I prefer it."
"Another strange coincidence. Do you know, that was my old Commander's name." He shakes his head. "It truly is a small Galaxy. I'll be sure to remember, my dear."
"Thank you, Sir."
"Is there any chance of getting the 212th back?" The General asks. "I'm afraid I was rather fond of them, and they were incredibly skilled."
"I'm sorry, Sir," Cody says, regretfully. There's not a chance he's going to be able to persuade the entire battalion to change their armour back. They're having far too much fun running around the ship practicing hunting each other, dramatically yelling about bringing each other in cold, and arguing about how much they'd be worth. "We spaced the bodies. If it's any reassurance, Sir, the Hardipode are objectively more skilled than the 212th, as evidenced by our takeover of their ship."
"You're willing to work with me in defence of the Republic?" The General asks.
"Of course, Sir. Our rates are very reasonable. I'll accept payment in caff rations."
"Well then, my dear, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement. How do you feel about the rank of Marshal Commander?"
"That would suit well, Sir."
---
"I'm sorry to report, Councillors, that the entire 212th has been lost." This gains him some brief looks of confusion, as Cody has been stood smartly next to him for the entire briefing. As usual. Helmet tucked under his arm. The new colours of his Commander's armour won't show through the blue of the holo. "They were unfortunately set upon by a large group of bounty hunters while I was away undercover. There were no survivors." He bows his head for a second. Partly to imitate grief, partly because if he looks at Mace pinching the bridge of his nose any longer, he's going to giggle, and that would ruin it. "Fortunately, I have come to an arrangement with the bounty hunters in question. They are willing to fight under my direction, in defence of the republic. I believe they will be a suitable replacement for the 212th. May I present Commander Cody Hardeen of the Hardipode."
Mace buries his head in his hands.
"To meet you, good it is." Yoda says, with a nod of his head. "Charging how much, are you?"
"My personal rate is three ration bars and fifteen cups of caff per day, Sir. Payment upfront at the beginning of each day."
"Hmm." Yoda's ears wiggle with amusement. "Ask for more, you should. Believe you will be worth it, I do."
"I'll keep that in mind, Sir." Obi-wan knows he will. But his Commander very definitely does not need a sixteenth cup of caff.
"Kenobi," Mace starts.
"With respect, Sir." Cody interrupts, "I'm a little confused as to how this can be his fault, given that he was absent at the time of our takeover."
The Councillors startle slightly at the out of character interruption. Obi-wan brushes a hand over his beard to hide a smile. His fellow Jedi have only ever seen Cody at his most professional. This is about to be an experience for them.
"Are you feeling quite well, Commander?" Plo asks, eyes crinkled in amusement.
Cody lets a smirk slide across his lips. The dangerous one. The one that makes Obi-wan's heart quicken in his chest.
"Perfectly." Cody announces, voice not quite a pur, and full of satisfaction. "Thank you, Sir."
"You're not acting like yourself." Mundi continues, sounding concerned.
Oh how little they know.
The smirk grows. A scornful eyebrow is raised.
"How would you know, Sir, I've never met you before in my life."
Cody's posture has slipped into something which is somehow on a knife edge between utterly relaxed, and brutal violence. It's a very good look on him.
Obi-wan savours the Council's shock. It's a shame they're not here in person for this, but this is still highly entertaining.
"My Commander is a bounty hunter." He reminds them. "I think he's being really quite polite, considering."
Mace looks like he's seriously contemplating committing violence on their persons.
"Commander Cody is dead." Depa murmurs with her own smirk. "Long live Commander Cody."
Cody flicks a casual salute in her direction, and Mace sighs dramatically. Obi-wan decides this is an excellent time to make a tactical retreat.
"Force be with you, Masters."
"I think that went very well, my dear."
Cody gives him a look that says he's not buying any of Obi-wan's osik, but it's underlined with a fondness that makes him smile.
"Glad I could help, Sir." He says, dryly amused, as if he hadn't enjoyed that just as much as Obi-wan.