Work Text:
“…You made a tagline.”
Kang Yihak grinned proudly. “It’s the original Daydream tagline! I just switched up a bit. Replacing ‘impossibilities’ with ‘ethics’ to symbolize the true face of Daydream, and adding ‘female’ before excellence, since it’s women’s month, and this is a women’s month pitch.” She was clearly proud of her thinking.
“…Right.” Go Yeongeun took a deep breath. “So, a women’s month pitch. Did the, er, higher-ups assign you to do this?” She warily eyed the blood red background and plain white text. Clearly not a preset. “Are they doing something special? Like, assigning female employees to clear… I don’t know, misogyny Darkness?”
“Oh, haha, nah, this is my own original pitch!” Kang Yihak’s grin grew wider. “I’m practicing it on you first before I show the female employees, but you’re involved too, don’t worry!”
“…Er. Thank you.”
“Alright! So, moving along.”
“Our mission statement– is to, of course, live peaceful, rich lives.” She threw her hands up with a flourish, much like a conductor raising the pitch. “Something that can be rather difficult to do when our great workplace is oversaturated with those who steal the spotlight, disturb the peace,” her eyes glinted, matching her maniacal grin. “And take the bonuses meant for us!”
“Wait, is this…” Please don’t be a murder plan.
“Yes! You’ve got it.” Kang Yihak pointed at the frozen woman before clicking to the next slide... Which showed some rather. Hm. Sampled statistics.
“Our problem is that we have too many men in the company. While they do all of the aforementioned, they also ruin the vibe.” She smacks her hands together. “Like, it stinks of testosterone even through the air fresheners. And their sweat smells really bad after a Darkness.”
Kang Yihak scrunched her nose up to emphasize the point. Go Yeongeun politely scrunched her own nose in solidarity. You know what would also stink really bad after a Darkness, Pony-ssi? She thinks but doesn’t say. Blood.
“The solution?” Kang Yihak locked gazes with her (un)willing recruit. “We kill them.” The slide switches to a half-blood red background half-stock image blur. What a wondrous visual display of blood and work prosperity.
“…” Go Yeongeun calmly shut her eyes and let out a deep breath.
“Hey, don’t look so down already! I promise we have a plausible plan!” Kang Yihak reassured the employee with a suddenly tired expression. “And it’s all in the form oooooof–"
“–Our team members! Our absolute dream team!” She paused. “Hehe, the Korean Day Dream Team.”
Go Yeongeun barely resisted the urge to drop her head in her hand.
“Anyway! First, of course, is me the brains, Kang Yihak–" she flashed a bright, close-eyed grin as if posing for a newspaper picture, a complete contrast to the photo of her awkward expression emblazoned on the presentation. “–I planned/plan the hits! And founded this operation, which obviously makes me the main strategist.”
She zooms in next to a picture of their superior, which was seemingly taken outside of work hours. “Here is my absolute partner in crime, the knife to my sheath, the bread to my butter, the–" She paused. “Or is it butter to my bread? Since I’m the structure (because I planned everything) and she’s the effect (the blood that will spill)?” She shook her head.
“Anyway! Supervisor Dolphin, AKA my partner in crime and hand in hell Lee Seonghae, will be responsible for majority of the hits we, and by we I mean me, have planned.”
“…Does Supervisor Dolphin, know, about this?” Go Yeongeun asked flatly. Kang Yihak’s grin turned sheepish.
“Well, haha, like I said earlier! You’re my test subject, my first accomplice. This is all part of the plan and the campaign!”
“…It’s a campaign, now?”
“Well, yes! Hehe, if the rest of the team don’t immediately agree, I’ll have to campaign it more until they do…” Kang Yihak rubbed her head.
…I feel like I’m getting scammed. Somehow, this feeling rose in Go Yeongeun’s heart.
“Uh, moving on,” Kang Yihak cleared her throat and returned to a straight, vaguely professional posture. “Our next team member is Assistant Manager Butterfly, also known as Jin Nasol, the coolest, most ruthless employee of our generation.”
“She’s not from our generation, though.”
“I mean age-wise! She’s only like five years older than us, give or take.” Kang Yihak shook her head. “ANYWAY, she’s our big guns, our last resort.” She tapped the projected image next to digital-Jin Nasol’s head. “If all else fails, she takes the lead and fulfills our goals. And you’ve heard of her! She never leaves loose threads.”
Go Yeongeun closed her eyes. “So you’re saying that if you don’t get Supervisor Dolphin on the team… You’ll turn to Assistant Manager Butterfly instead?” The disbelief in her voice bled out stronger than intended, but she couldn’t stop it. “You think she’d be easier to convince?”
“That’s not what I meant at all,” Kang Yihak huffed. “Whatever. You get it.”
“I really don’t.”
“And our final team member!” Kang Yihak called loudly. “Is, of course, you! Employee Goral, one of our elite rookies, Go Yeongeun, the cutest woman in the company!”
“I don’t take that as a compliment.” Go Yeongeun cut in.
“Your role… Well, you can just sit anywhere and look cute while we clear the company out. Oh, and, happy birthday!”
“My birthday was four days ago. Also, when did you take that picture?”
“Oops! Sorry, hehe, you were just the cutest that I couldn’t help but take a shot.” Kang Yihak grinned. “Good quality, right? What do you say, twenty thousand for it?”
Go Yeongeun stared. “…You’re selling me my own picture?”
“It’s at a discount! Since it’s your uh, late birthday after all. Film is expensive these days, you know.”
“You’re selling me a picture of me that you took without permission?”
“It’s… really… good quality…?” Kang Yihak tried. “It’s one of my best shots ever. Like, if I was gonna get a side gig as a photographer, which I might, I would put this into my portfolio. And I will, actually.” She paused. “Wait, do I have to pay you a fee for using it?”
“That’s not–” Go Yeongeun sighed. “You don’t have to pay me a fee. Just don’t do it again. Don’t put it in your portfolio.”
“Aw…”
Kang Yihak didn’t seem all that upset, however. She perked up with the next slide, grin once again overtaking her face. “Soooo, here is the estimated timeline! March 28th, today–”
“You’re planning to convince the elites by today?” Go Yeongeun cut in. “What if they’re in a Darkness? Or today is a day off?”
“Of course I checked if the timeline is possible,” Kang Yihak said. “Neither of them are assigned any Darkness explorations this afternoon! So, a speedrun is possible. Really, the main caveat is convincing them.”
“Whichhhh,” Go Yeongeun got a bad feeling. “You could do with meeeee?”
“No.” She said immediately. Then she sighed, rubbing her temple. “I’m only supposed to… sit and look cute, remember?”
“You make a good point! Anyway, it’ll all work out.” Sure, whatever.
“As I was saying, today’s goal is to behead your squad leader! He’s really rude to you, isn’t he? And he’s seriously a sight for… a sight that no eyes, in any health condition, would want to see.” Kang Yihak beamed. “You’re a pretty nice person, right? Then at least for today, Supervisor Dolphin would want to help out!”
Kang Yihak was right in that, at least. Even as a rookie who spent more of her energy surviving and adjusting to the workplace, Go Yeongeun knew about Dolphin’s hardcore beliefs. It wasn’t difficult to think that she would agree to kill some random person that she didn’t like, even if it was asked of her by a stranger. Still, it’s a bit…
“Tomorrow, we ambush Kwak Jekang in the men’s restroom,” her voice started to pick up, excitement clear on her face and increasingly bouncy movements. “Then, the day after tomorrow, we’ll hold trap F-Squad in a room and hold a short farewell party before they leave this world–”
Go Yeongeun choked.
“And then, on the same night, after allowing their dead bodies to be discovered, we take out the male Elite Squad members while everyone is panicking and wondering just what happened–”
“You want to kill the Elite Squad members? Pray tell, how–”
“And for our final act of ultimate justice and display of female excellence–” Kang Yihak slams her hand on the projected image, right next to the final date that had nothing but a name. “–We destroy the seat of pure male ego,” her voice dropped dramatically. “Director Ho.”
Go Yeongeun’s perfectly polite posture fell away completely, and she sat slumped in her seat, staring at the proud Kang Yihak with pure disbelief.
“I, aka we, aren’t taking any questions, thank you!” You took mine, though?
Kang Yihak spread her arms wide as she clicked to the final slide. “Some applause, please?”
This time, Go Yeongeun did drop her head into her hands.