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1. what's a guy gotta do to get laid around here? by Skipsjack

   Fandoms: Trigun (Anime & Manga 1995-2008), Trigun Stampede & Trigun Stargaze (Anime 2023-2026)  

   • Mature
   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   25 Mar 2026

   Tags

   • No Archive Warnings Apply
   • Vash the Stampede/Nicholas D. Wolfwood
   • Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
   • Nicholas D. Wolfwood
   • Original Characters
   • Implied Sexual Content
   • Caught
   • Walking In On Someone
   • Coitus Interruptus
   • Sexual Humor
   • Nicholas D. Wolfwood is a Menace
   • Blood and Injury
   • Protective Vash the Stampede (Trigun)
   • Implied/Referenced Homophobia
   • its like really mild & not from vashwood and also wolfwood weaponizes it to be a little shit
   • Crack and Angst
   • vashwood tries to bang but then the stampede-attack-mob shows up and no one is having ANY fun
   • except maybe wolfwood
   • Blue Balls
   • Nicholas D. Wolfwood Being a Brat
   • Introspection
   • Mild Sexual Content
   • Dirty Jokes

   Summary

   “Oh nooooo,” Wolfwood drawled as the deputy moved from the wall, “don’t get the big, hulking, buff guy on me!” He dramatically leaned back in his chair, head hanging over it. “That’s exactly the 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦 of what a sod like me would want!”

   Deputy Josephson briefly halted next to Wolfwood, hands twitching for just a second. Wolfwood couldn’t help barking out a laugh at the mere sight. Too easy.

   “You ever handled a man of my caliber before?” Wolfwood batted his eyes. “Not to worry, I’ve had my run around the block. I’ll be gentle.”

   . . .

   Wolfwood would just like to have Vash to himself for one night. He does not get that. So he decides to make it everyone else's problem.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   7,796

   Chapters:

   1/1

   Comments:

   13

   Kudos:

   138

   Bookmarks:

   27

   Hits:

   539