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"- And then, I was thinking we can stop in one of the towns on the way back for dinner? Because the food we have packed is fine, but you can only go so many days one the road without getting sick of it you know?"
Wei Wuxian tucked his hands behind his head as he walked, glancing over at his brother beside him for any sort of response. He had grown increasingly more closed off the closer they had gotten to the Spring of Power, and each of his attempts to lighten the mood had been met with less and less enthusiasm. Not that he could blame him, really.
This time, however, Jiang Cheng scoffed and rolled his eyes at him, "Is there ever a time you aren't thinking about your next meal?"
"Of course there is!" Wei Wuxian gasped. He lowered his hands from his head to count off on his fingers, "I think about you and shijie a lot, and about Lotus Pier, and Lan Zhan, and all the weird things going on that we're all trying to pretend are not related to the Calamity but so are-"
"Okay, I get it," Jiang Cheng elbowed him hard in the ribs in a way that was joking except for the fact that Wei Wuxian could see the tension in his jaw. Ah. Yeah…That last bit might not have been the best thing he could have brought up, circumstances considered.
He was about to say something, anything really, to redirect the conversation again, but it died in his throat as they rounded a corner and the archway entrance to the Spring of Power came into view. Wei Wuxian watched his brother's face darken, his shoulders tensing in the same way he had at the Spring of Courage, and even a few days ago when Jiang-shushu had spoken with him for the nth time about 'duty and the welfare of the kingdom'.
It wasn't fair. Wei Wuxian hadn't ever seen anyone work as hard as Jiang Cheng did at this. He still remembered the last time they had been here in the dead of winter, when he had spent so long standing in that freezing cold water that he had nearly passed out and was bedridden for a week afterward from hypothermia. And that wasn't even the whole extent of the energy and time and pain he had put into awakening the spiritual powers that were supposed to be inside him. Wasn't it enough?
He put what he hoped was a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder and offered a smile, "This'll be it this time," he said, "I know it."
Jiang Cheng held his gaze for a long moment, something deep and uncertain in his eyes that Wei Wuxian wasn't used to seeing, before it steeled over again and he nodded once.
"Let's go."
Wei Wuxian followed him in, treading carefully over the stone path that had been worn down to uneven rubble after so many centuries. The loud rush of waterfalls nearly drowned out their echoing footsteps as they approached the pool of water and the large statue at its center. The usual unease prickled at the back of his neck beneath the scrutinising gaze of the Goddess. Her lifeless gaze found them as they stopped at the edge of the pool, making Wei Wuxian shift uncomfortably on his feet. He had never been as devout as much of Hyrule was -which felt ironic now with Suibian weighing heavy against his back- and, after traveling with his brother as he tried over and over again to speak with her to no avail, he couldn't say his opinion in that regard had improved very much.
Wordlessly, Jiang Cheng removed his traveling pack and slid off his boots, placing them in a pile off to the side. Wei Wuxin saw the way his hands trembled before he clenched them into fists, heard the way his breath shook before he took one step and then another into the spring, and he felt a familiar flare of anger well up inside him.
'Work with him, dammit,' he thought bitterly, 'Where are you?'
He received no response. Of course he didn't. Wei Wuxian never felt quite as abandoned by the Goddess as he did in these moments, which was a sort of cruel irony in and of itself.
He drew Suibian from its scabbard and turned around, both to guard the entrance while Jiang Cheng was praying and to offer what little privacy he could. He heard the quiet swish of disturbed water as his brother waded out to the spring's Goddess Statue, and then a few long minutes of silence before he said anything.
"I've come back again," he muttered, "to seek help regarding the power that's been handed down from Jiang Chi through generations."
It was the usual beginning of the prayer, but instead of finishing the rest, Jiang Cheng hesitated. Wei Wuxian glanced behind him before facing forward again. He heard his brother draw in a long breath, one that he let out a moment later in a frustrated huff.
"Everyone says prayer is supposed to awaken that spiritual power," he said, as if the words were bile on his tongue, "so why, after I've tried all my life, can I not hear or feel…anything?"
Wei Wuxian's fist tightened around the hilt of his sword. There hadn't been a day since they met that he could remember not seeing his brother in their ancestral hall or out at one of the kingdom's temples praying. It had confused him at first, back when the weight of what was being placed on their shoulders did not feel so heavy or pressing. If the prophecy was correct, he had thought, wasn't that supposed to just happen on its own? As he grew older, however, he realised it hadn't been his choice. None of it had been Jiang Cheng's choice. The spiritual power of Jiang Chi had been passed down to him, and along with it the burden of protecting the kingdom should the Calamity awaken again. A mantle had been placed over him that he had not asked for, and Wei Wuxian had watched his brother suffer for it every day of their lives since.
Jiang Cheng's words held the bite of resentment as he spoke, but it was laced with something else as well, something weary and exhausted, "Every time I close my eyes I can hear my father's voice telling me I'm wasting my time, that I'm neglecting my duty to the kingdom."
His voice wavered, and Wei Wuxian almost turned around to make sure he was alright. Almost, but not quite. He stamped down the wave of fury that was very rarely directed at his uncle like this, and stood in his place.
"Fuck," he heard Jiang Cheng hiss, then the splash of water as if he had slammed his fists down into it, "Curse you. I've spent my whole life dedicated praying. To mastering this damned spiritual power. What more do you want?"
Late nights well past the time anyone else should have gone to bed, long treks in unholy weather to temples and springs and shrines instead of taking a break, burnout, sickness, mental and physical exhaustion were the price Jiang Cheng had already paid to be the hero their sect and the entire kingdom was eagerly expecting him to be. No regard had been put into his well being or his happiness, and this was his reward? Silence from a goddess who was supposed to be on their side? What was the issue? What was so important to her that she could neglect plea after plea from someone who had been nothing but devout to her his entire life? It was so…so…unfair! It bordered on cruel. No. It was cruel, and maybe Wei Wuxian was a heretic for thinking it, but it was true. He couldn't fathom a world where anyone -mortal or goddess- could ignore someone for so long and still have their best interest in heart. So why the hell was she still waiting?
A broken, almost sob, fell from Jiang Cheng's lips behind Wei Wuxian; an explosion of all the hurt and grief and anger he had been balling up for so long.
His next words were so quiet Wei Wuxian almost missed him, "What do you want?" Then, louder, shouting brokenly into the evening sky, "What the hell do you want from me?"
The night silence and rush of flowing water was his only reply. Behind him, Wei Wuxian knew that the Goddess, just as she always did, was staring down at Jiang Cheng with her empty, stone gaze, her arms clasped to her chest in a way that only now did he realise made her look like she was hiding something from them. He let out a short, humourless breath of laughter, blinking the sting of tears from behind his eyes as he tilted his head up toward the sky. Yeah, that sounded about right.
It was a long time before Jiang Cheng emerged from the spring, shivering in the onset of cold, night air. Wei Wuxian was quick to throw a blanket over his shoulders and press warming talismans against his skin as he sat heavily on the ground to dig his change of clothes out of his pack.
They didn't speak. It was rare that they did after instances like this when the crushing shadow of duty and obligation felt even closer than usual. His brother's face remained etched into an even deeper frown than normal, his eyes red-rimmed as if he had been crying. Wei Wuxian suspected he probably had been, and he couldn't blame him.
Instead of talking, Wei Wuxian grabbed both their packs, slinging his own across his chest and Jiang Cheng's over his shoulder, and offered a his brother a hand to help him up. Staying here wouldn't do anything for either of them. It was best to leave this behind as quickly as they could now that Jiang Cheng was no longer freezing in half-wet clothes. They would stop at the first town they came to on the way back, have a good meal, and then think about what the plan was after that.
"Come on," Wei Wuxian tried for a smile that he wasn't sure he managed, sheathing Suibian behind his back and tossing an arm over Jiang Cheng's shoulders, "Let's get out of here."