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Jay stared at his piano. Every time he tried to play something without Matt around, he just couldn’t do it. He didn’t really like not being around Matt in general these days. He felt like Matt could disappear at any moment. Even though that couldn’t happen. Matt insisted on leaving the house by himself however.
It had been months since the time travel plan. The events had weighed heavily on Jay’s mind since then. He could never get those thoughts out, no matter how hard he tried. Day after day, the events kept replaying in his head.
“Bird!”
Hearing Matt’s voice snapped Jay out of his thoughts. He turned around to face his best friend. Brown messy hair, a dumb smile on his face, his fedora, his ripped pants, and his beige blazer. Yep. That was him. It didn’t feel like him though. Even though he was the same.
But was he really? Was he really the same Matt who went through everything the old Matt did? Or was he a new Matt? One who had the memories of everything the old one did. One who made plans like he did. One who moved like he did. One that talked like he did. One that thought like he did. One that was lifelong friends with Jay.
The old Matt didn’t even know Jay wasn’t that horrid version of himself from that terrifying timeline. He sacrificed himself for a man that, for all intents and purposes, had left him 17 years ago to be a famous asshole instead of a nobody asshole. Jay wondered if old Matt had suspected he was lying. Especially since he slipped up in this very house.
Not exactly this house.
That didn’t matter anymore. He was never going to see old Matt again. He’s gone.
“Jay? What are you staring at? Is there something on my face?”
Matt’s comment brought Jay back to reality.
“Uh, nothing! What’s our next plan! I’ll even play the piano for you! What song do you want?” Jay put on the fakest smile he had ever done. Even the smiles he did while he pretended to be famous were more real than whatever he had on his face right now.
“I got us food.”
Oh.
“Did you get the crew some?” Jared asked. Jay didn’t know why his friends filmed them. They just did. At least that persisted throughout timelines.
“Yeah I did dude! I didn’t forget this time!”
Jay had thought about telling his feelings to Jared. He had been in the rv when Matt died. Jay never could get the topic up around him. Just small talk.
He wondered how Jared felt sometimes.
All the footage from that timeline was unusable. Every file was corrupted. Like it wasn’t meant to exist. It only existed because of Jay and Matt’s actions.
They time traveled for real. They actually did that. They went back to 2008. They saw their past selves. Matt changed the timeline. He sacrificed himself to fix it. Jay wasn’t even going to fix it. He was just going back to before he shot that guy.
Jay killed a man. He killed another human being. But that guy doesn’t exist anymore. That version of him never existed. He killed a man and then killed him again.
He’s killed thousands. He killed the whole planet. Everyone’s lives were changed by Matt and that whiteboard. Jay erased an entire timeline. He erased another world. He erased an alternate timeline version of himself and Matt. He replaced himself. An evil version of himself.
Those kids they passed by. That was Matt’s shitty cover band. Their lives were completely changed. They were completely different people. They changed the trajectory of those kids’ lives. They changed absolutely everything and Matt doesn’t even know.
How does one live with themselves after changing everything?
Him and Matt had played god. They created a new world, and destroyed that world.
“Jay? Is there something wrong? You’ve been staring at the wall for the past 5 minutes.” Matt looked extremely concerned.
F—k.
“Matt, there’s something I need to tell you.” What was he doing? Why was he going to tell his best friend that he saw him die in a universe that doesn’t even exist anymore? That his time travel plan actually worked?
“Explain it away, Bird.”
Jay readied himself. He opened his mouth.
“I had a dream. I saw you die. I was in the rv. You were holding an extension cord that was connected to the top of the CN Tower in one hand, and the pliers you have in the other up to an electricity box. Lightning struck the tower, and I saw you get electrocuted. The rv disappeared in a blinding flash of light, and I woke up.”
Jay couldn’t help himself. The words just tumbled out of him. He couldn’t believe himself. He couldn’t believe he told Matt that. Even if it was a lie.
Matt looked confused, and then laughed a bit. Jared didn’t seem to care.
“Dude. You just had a bad nightmare. It’s fine! Sometimes I have them. One time I got a nightmare that I was back at school and there was this guy who looked like Freddy Krueger! And he chased me all around the school!” Matt smiled. “I’m pretty sure that one woke you up before.”
Jay remembered that happening. Matt awoke in the middle of the night and was terrified. Jay had to tell him it wasn’t happening.
“Yeah dude. It did wake me up.”
Him and Matt stared at each other for a bit. Time seemed to last forever. The only sounds were from outside and the crew chewing.
Something inside Jay broke. He ran up to Matt and hugged him. “I don’t want to ever lose you. I’d never trade you for anything. You’re my best friend in the entire world.” He started crying. “Even if I were famous, you’d still be my best friend. I’d never abandon you.”
“Uhh yeah dude. You’re cool too!” Matt put his arms around Jay.
Maybe this was his Matt. Maybe he wasn’t. Whoever this Matt was, he was the one he needed at the moment.