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Eddie called out Buck. They all had the sushi, why was he the only one who got sick? That just didn’t make sense to anyone. What a lame excuse. Maybe he could still redeem it-
Buck’s eyes had wandered to the floor, “Uhm, yeah no- I-I just think I got a bad batch, so-“
“No, I don’t think this is food poisoning Buck, can I check your vitals? You just look so… Sick?” Eddie got up, closing the vials up and grabbing his stethoscope, cuff and his blood glucose monitor. Rule out all specific symptoms.
Buck shook his head, “Ah, no, it’s okay Eddie, I-I’m just gonna go and-“
Eddie sighed and grabbed Buck’s hand to stop him from getting up, “Buck, holy shit. You are burning up, this is not food poisoning-“
“No no, it is- I just got a bad case of it.” Buck watched as Eddie put on his stethoscope and placed the cuff on him. Buck gave in and huffed in annoyance. He really wanted to tell him. He wanted Eddie to help him but now that he has his attention, he just felt embarrassed. How could he be so weak to get addicted? Was he really that pathetic? Buck let out a weak whine as he held his head in his hands.
Eddie finished checking out his vitals. He was tachycardic, his breathing was shaky and his tidal volume was not good. BGL was fine. His blood pressure was a little low but not in crisis. He put his stuff on the bench and knelt in front of Buck, “Buck, I’m going to ask you something and you have to be honest and if I am wrong, I am so sorry…”
He put his hand on Bucks knee, “Are you… In withdrawal?”
Buck let out a shaky cry as he buried his face more into his hands, that was the answer Eddie needed.
He had seen people get addicted so easily. Withdrawals can kill. Hell, he knew about Bobby’s whole story, the impact addiction can have. But seeing his best friend going through this? He was so grateful that Buck had gone to him. Even if he didn’t have the intention to tell him, this was a good step.
Eddie kept his hand planted on Buck’s knee, “Hey- It’s going to be okay, I got you… I need to ask a few more things, so bear with me.” He braced for his uncomfortable questioning, “How long have you been in withdrawal?”
“Two- maybe one day, I don’t remember exactly…”
“When did you start… Medicating?”
“After New Mexico.”
“Have you used on the job? What were you prescribed?”
“Oxy- B-But I never used on the job- Just at home- Uhm Eddie-“
Eddie’s frown deepened, “We need to talk to Chimney about this, you need to rest and recover; if you keep working while going through withdrawal, you’re not gonna be better.”
“I-I just want to make it stop…” Buck let out another sob as he looked into Eddie’s eyes, “I-I’m scared I’m going to lose my job… I-I can’t lose something like this…”
“Buck, you won’t lose your job for this-“
“No- I-I was going to steal drugs from the ambulance, Fentanyl- I-I just didn’t want you to get in trouble-“
Eddie took Buck’s hand now, feeling his burning skin on his own, “Buck…” He looked down at the floor for a moment before speaking, then back at him, “We will get this sorted out. But trust me… I want nothing more than you to be better and I know everyone else will want that…”
Buck nodded, tears falling down his cheeks, “I-I want to be better… I-I can’t lose anything else right now…”
“Oh Buck…” Eddie softly spoke and wrapped his arms around him, his hand making his way through his hair. He held him as he sobbed, he couldn’t lie though and say that he wasn’t crying himself; because he was choking up on his own tears. He had never seen his best friend in such a pained state since New Mexico.
Eddie was so grateful that the tones didn’t go off until after their hug, he hesitated to let go, but they needed to go, “Buck, we’re going to talk to Chimney later, okay? We’ll get through this together.”
Buck smiled weakly, “Y-Yeah, thank you…”
He left quickly to get ready, to prove he could still do his job with normalcy. But… He wished he told Eddie how much he truly appreciated being able to get that off his chest. He was tired, tired of being strong. Tired of pretending that he could proceed his life like normal after this nightmare that was his withdrawal. Buck needed to tell him how grateful he was when he got the chance.
And that chance finally came. When Eddie had encouraged Buck to talk to Chimney, Buck found himself surrounded by love and support. He would be lying if he said he didn’t feel bad though. It felt as if everyone had uprooted their lives to be around him. He knew deep down that they did it because they love him, but the way they hadn’t left him alone since he had been open about it.
They sat by his side, holding him while he threw up, made sure he was fully hydrated so he didn’t get worse. Sometimes they would help him bathe on his worse days. The days he couldn’t get out of bed, the days he couldn’t express words the way he wanted to, they all made sure he felt like he had a shoulder to cry on.
Hen always checked his veins, making sure he was hydrated, no tugor, no distention. She gave him IV fluid to assist with his recovery and held him so close while he struggled to hold any food down.
Chimney watched over him, making sure he ate plenty and slept through the night. He couldn’t let his brother-in-law suffer alone at night, sometimes he would check his temp, making sure he wasn’t burning up more than he should.
Ravi kept him entertained, making sure he wasn’t going stir crazy despite his brain not really being all that present at times. Sometimes they would play on the switch, or sometimes fun card games with everyone.
Athena, bless her, drowned Buck in love. She wanted him to know how deeply she cared for him. Hearing that he was going through withdrawals alone for a day or two was heartbreaking. She needed him to know she would always be there for him, never a single night where she wouldn’t run to be by his side. On nights where he couldn’t rest, she and Maddie would sit with him and just talk, make sure he had someone there to support him.
Maddie had a hard time leaving her brother to be with her children, she hated seeing that he was suffering alone for weeks. She should’ve known, but she just didn’t. No one did. She was glued to his side, holding him close so he could rest. She really loved her brother.
Eddie. He was by his side almost 90% of the time. He would bring Chris over and they would crash at his house, Chris in the guest room while Eddie stayed with Buck the whole night. He was the only person that trust Buck with his medication. He helped this man bathe, he helped him cook, he cleaned for him. He just wanted to make Buck’s life easier, and that he did.
Buck laid in bed, his fever hitting highs. Eddie sat on the bed next to him, wiping the sweat from his face, the cold wash cloth trailing down his forehead. He leaned into the touch, his eyes felt glossed over looking up at Eddie being so… Beautiful.
“Eddie…” Buck whispered, his voice hoarse.
“Yeah?” Eddie held onto Buck’s cheek and turned his head to wipe the other side of his head.
“Thank you…”
Eddie paused and smiled, “I was going to thank you actually, for trusting me with your struggles. I’m happy you felt comfortable enough to tell us what was happening.”
“I-I wish I told you sooner… I-I’m sorry I tried to hide it…” Buck mumbled, his heart was hurting from how emotional he was feeling.
Eddie shook his head, “I wish you told me sooner so you didn’t have to suffer alone… Had I known, I wouldn’t have left your side for one minute.”
They sat in some silence for a little while longer, Eddie putting down the washcloth and making sure Buck was drinking water.
Buck broke that silence once again, “Eds- I really want you to know how much I really appreciate this… And I’m sorry you guys all don’t have any free time babysitting me…”
“Babysitting?” Eddie let out a small chuckle, “Buck, we’re all giving up our time to be with you because we all love you. Seeing you alone in such a state… It’s not fair to you. Buck, I want you to know that we would give up any time we can to help you through this difficult time. You would do the same.” Eddie brushed a few curls out of Buck’s face, “We care, a lot.”
Buck smiled with exhaustion in his eyes, “I love and care for you guys too…” He turned to face Eddie, “I… I can’t thank you guys enough…”
“Just being here is enough for us, Buck. We’re happy that you’re still here…” Eddie gave him that soft tender smile, the one that pulls on Buck’s heartstrings so firmly. He was safe. He would be okay. Nothing could hurt him like this anymore.