Chapter Text
Today is yet another cold day in the middle of winter, chilly weather with a icy breeze sweeping into every nook and cranny, stealing away all the warmth it could reach. Despite it, Dave and Karkat had no plans of staying home today, after all, a little chilly wind isn't a big deal, it's not a 'stop everything' kind of problem for anyone, nothing more than a inconvenience.
Or at least, it would've been for anyone who had the common sense of dressing properly.
Karkat turns his head back, looking behind himself to meet someone that, definitely, didn't have the common sense. A shivering, frowny Dave, hugging his own exposed arms, with the hands that were supposed to be helping with the grocery bags, as he follows his boyfriend, wearing a *fucking t-shirt* while Karkat himself has a scarf and a thick sweater on. Lucky was he that the groceries were small enough to fit in two bags, so he had no problem on carrying them alone, the matter troubling him was another: his boyfriend's stupidity. It wasn't by lack of warning, either, that Dave went out like this, Karkat remembers very well the conversation they had before leaving the house.
---
"What the hell?" Karkat calls out first thing as he enters the room, stopping by the doorframe and staring down at Dave's who's currently sitting on the couch and putting his shoes on.
He pauses and turns his head to Karkat's direction, shades meeting his eyes. "What's up Karkat."
A brief moment of dumbfounded silence fills the room as they stare at eachother, Karkat waits like he'd catch on what he meant, but Dave looks as clueless as before, eyebrows going up in silent confusion. "What's up?" Karkat echoes in a disbelieving tone.
"Yeah man, what's up? You're staring at me like I'm violating some law." Dave's eyes leave Karkat's face and fall back down to his feet, neatly tying his shoelaces in the meanwhile. "I mean, as far as i am aware, putting shoes on is not a crime, unless the laws changed and i didn't catch up with them."
Karkat's silence stretches for a moment more, before he finally speaks up. "Don't 'what's up me, you know damn well what I'm referring to, and it has nothing to do with your stupid footwear!"
"I dunno man, you're always complaining about something." Dave gets up, stretching. "It's like your brain is stuck in bitching mode, i don't think there's a day you go without at the very least grumbling under your breath twenty times minimum, and that's when you don't outright shout it."
"I'm not bitching! Take a look down at yourself!" He points his arms towards Dave, who's kind of simply standing there, as his boyfriend angrily gestures towards his clothes. "A t-shirt and jeans? Really? T-shirt, mid-winter, in one of the coldest days of the week. Not even a long sleeve, it's a t-shirt!"
"Yeah dude, it's a t-shirt, never saw one?" Dave waves his hand towards his own shirt. "Karkat, I'd like to introduce to you a t-shirt. I know, i know, it's a pretty wild concept for someone who has his closet stuffed with sweaters only, but it's a thing people wear too, surprisingly."
Karkat's eye twitches. Dave must be trying to get on his nerves, there's no way. "Are you trying to piss me off? Do you not see any problem?? Is that it? Did the cold freeze the last of your already meager count of braincells? It must be, there's no way you think going out like this is any sort of sensible choice."
Dave's lips slightly tilt up in a tiny smile. "Oh wait, i got it." The tone he uses tells that whatever his brain came up, it had no relation to Karkat's complaint. "You're jealous because you think i look too good to go out." Dave teases, slowly making his way towards the other. "I bet you think people can't deal with my awesome fashion choices, right? No need to get jealous Karkat, this Strider is all yours, i won't give in to the swooning passerbys."
"What?" The accusation was so unexpected it throws Karkat off for a moment, before he doubles down. "I don't give a single flying fuck about whatever people are thinking about you! And even if the nonsense you just ejected into my face was of any relevance to this, all people would think about when laying their eyes on you, would be that you're insane for thinking, let alone following through, with the idea of going out like this!"
Dave makes a thoughtful hum at Karkat's ranting. "Are we sure you don't care? I dunno man, i have some doubts about that."
Karkat's shoulders rise as he prepares to awsner, but he sighs instead and decides against it, ignoring the comment. "Whatever, just go put on something warmer, please. I'm feeling my body freeze just by looking at you, when you step out you'll turn to a human block of ice immediately and get sick."
The softer tone in Karkat's voice melts away the last of his teasing away, he's now showing worry unmasked by his harshness and it has a way of getting to him. "Come on Karkat, is not that cold outside, I'm sure I'll be fine." He reassures, reaching to pat Karkat's shoulder. "A little breeze can't knock me down."
---
Surprising a number of exactly zero people, Dave’s guess of the weather was wrong, it was indeed 'that cold' outside and it took little time out for the couple to realize. At the very least, the reason they left home in the first place today was to do groceries, so he had the luck of not staying in the harsh wind for very long, still, the few minutes of walking that exist inbetween their house and the supermarket are turned shitty thanks to the constant complaining from a whiny Dave.
"Hey, what are you looking at?" Dave's voice calls Karkat back from his thoughts, as he realises he was staring for far too long. "don't look at me like that." He adds defensively to Karkat's judgy gaze, before continuing in his habit of never shutting up, even when he knows he's on the wrong. "God forbid a guy makes a wrong guess for once, really. Though i wasn't really wrong, it wasn't that cold before, i had no way of guessing the weather would flip out into the zeros when we left home."
The rambling makes Karkat rolls his eyes. "Don't even start, i told you multiple times to go change your clothes, before we left and even after when we were in the way to the supermarket! You didn't listen once to me, so this is completely your fault and i have the full rights to judge your stupidity!" He turns his head back forward as he speaks, not wanting to trip in a unseen obstacle ahead and fall facefirst to the cold floor. "You should listen to me more."
Dave's brows furrow. "Really? Because you're such a know-it-all, you're never wrong, right." He shoots back with a pout. "You lose your right to shit on me because i wear a t-shirt in the cold, in the moment you wear sweaters in the asscrack of summer." Or in any sort of weather, really. Dave’s brain helpfully supplies his thoughts with all the times Karkat complained about the warm weather despite refusing to do a little change of wardrobe. "The sun could be making its way down from the sky to kiss earth into flames and you'd be wearing like three layers of cloth on you."
Karkat turns and opens his mouth to snark something back, but before he could muster anything up, he swallows his words back down in a surprised sharp gasp as freezing cold fingertips suddently make contact with his spine underneath the sweater. In a few moments of distraction from Karkat's part, Dave had managed to silently sprint his way over to Karkat's position and eagerly took the opportunity to warm his hands with his boyfriend's body. "Arrgh!! What the fuck do you think you're going get the fuck off me!!" Karkat squeals, starting to squirm away from the slabs of ice Dave dares to calls hands.
"C'mon dude, I'm slowly turning into a walking popsicle over there, and you're hot as fuck, spare me some warmth." The thrashing from Karkat's body under his hands seem to not deter him in the slighest. "Hot i mean in the warm sense of course, not sexyway, i mean you're hot but don't go get your hopes up because im trying to use you as a living heater, not brush your ego higher than it already is." He corrects after realizing his slip up.
Dave's hands start to slowly snake their way up higher, fingertips tracing the skin and rising it with goosebumps, both thanks to the temperature and the ticklish spot, making red bloom across Karkat's cheeks. "Tear your hands off my skin before you give me some sort of thermal shock and kill me right there!"
Karkat changes his tactic in trying to get Dave off his body, hands flying to Dave's arms and wrists as he starts attempting to pry him off with brute force. "Dying, you say? Dying in my arms? That sounds extremely romantic, don't you think?"
"Romantic?" Karkat echoes in a half shout. "The only thing i think is that you should snatch your grabby icy sticks away! Pull off or I'll start to bite your brittle hand bones!"
Instead of backing away due to all the protesting, Dave hugs Karkat tighter, attempting to rest his head ontop of the troll's as nicely as he can with all his squirming, thanking whoever's above that Karkat's horns are stubby instead of sharp, because Karkat does hit them a few times in his skin as he shifts around. "Can't i hug my boyfriend? Show him some love, a bit of affection?"
Karkat's efforts to get away grow weaker as they fail to work, eventually letting his arms go limp with a grumble. "Don't even start with this sad romantic bullshit, both of us know there's nothing other than selfishness in your actions, you self indulgent prick"
"Wow man, you think so lowly of me?" Dave complains with fake hurt in his voice. "I pinky promise to you, my heart is pure and so are my intentions."
"No they're not! You literally told me two seconds ago that all you wanted was to steal my warmth!" He turns his head towards Dave as he shoots back
A faux thoughtful hum comes out of Dave's mouth as he pretends to think about his former words. "Hm.. did i?" He questions. "I don't remember saying so, are you putting words in my mouth? That's so uncool of you, Kat."
Karkat's face scrunches up into a scowl oncemore. "I'm not 'putting words in your mouth'! You said it yourself, that i was 'hot' and that was why you were all over me with your frozen limbs, you opened your big maw to formulate the words in that sentence! I heard it"
A chuckle escapes Dave's mouth at Karkat's fierce opposition, and leans over to give him a peek on the cheek, seeing his face bloom redder. "Aww, don't get all pissy on me." He gives yet another kiss, now to the other cheek. "Here, soothe yourself a little with my little kisses."
Soon after, Karkat rolls his eyes and nudges Dave away from him, sucessfully this time, and walks a few steps further ahead than Dave with a pout. "I'll soothe myself only after we get home, so i can force the first warm piece of clothing in my sight on you to end your bitching once for all."
"Hey, I'm not that cold anymore, shoving myself under your shirt was indeed helpful to my case." He adds, putting his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "But alright fair i guess."
It's not long for them to finally reach their home after that. Upon reaching the door, Karkat briefly struggles with the keys, grumbling under his breath before finally managing to open the door, entering with Dave on his tail right after.
"Home, sweet home." Dave calls out when he steps in, kicking the door shut and basking in the warmer environment. "Oh, finally a place where I'm not slowly turning into a walking live snowman, i might as well have icicles hanging in my hair, turning blue as i grit my teeth. That was a close win for hypothermia right?"
Almost carelessly, Dave starts to make his way to their shared bedroom after retiring his shoes at the doorstep, none the wiser to the sweater currently flying in his direction after being thrown full force at him. It hits his head, making him yelp and stumble forward. "Dude what his this, domestic abuse?" he questions as he turns back to look at Karkat. "After all we went throught, all those years, is this how you thank me? With violence?"
Despite his words, Dave quickly starts to put it on anyway as Karkat approaches, because as much as he enjoys the banter he doesn't want to get actually manhandled into the thing and risk those freaky claws of Karkat ripping a chunk of his skin. Truly, is a wonder no one has questioned him about his new scratching post look, with all the claw marks he manages to get. "Listen, you incompetent shitstain, I'm not taking care of you if you get sick. In fact, if you do get sick, I won't even stick around and risk catching the same ungodly disease your little show of insanity will bring into your body, you'll stay suffering alone."
Dave rolls his eyes with a tiny smile, neating the edges of the hoodie. "You say that everytime, but next thing you know you're beside our bed spoiling me while i sneeze my internal bits into external bits." He says, reminding of all the times Karkat has taken care of him. He has fondness for the memories, really. "It doesn't even need to be that bad, i cough once and you start to act like i caught the next pandemic disease."
His words are received with a glare from Karkat. "Stop making things up, i don't do that, i never have done it in my entire life." he has, and will continue to do so.
"Yeah, sure you don't." A small smile stays on Dave's lips, and the response to it is a playful shove from Karkat as they both start to move towards their bedroom. He retaliates by shoving Karkat harder, using the moment he takes stumbling back to abscond away before the other could revenge.
He doesn't make far into the bedroom before Karkat reaches and tackles him down to the bed, briefly forcing him still before Dave shoves his hands underneath his sweater again and starts to tickle his sides, which immediately makes Karkat release him and start to squirm away from his touch with uncontrollable giggles.
"Argh!- hah- ffuck get off getoff!-" Karkat gasps out inbetween his struggles, rolling from side to side on the bed as he attempts to escape his hands, before he finally manages to land a kick in Dave's chest, making him tumble to the side with a groan as Karkat backs off.
Dave clutches his stomach as he makes his way to the opposite side of the bed. "Ow, okay, Sorry. tickling was a low blow, i won't tickle you anymore, pinky promise." Hair falls on Dave's face as he sits up, and he sweeps it away with a hand. "Aw man, you made a mess out of my hair."
His complaint earns a glare from Karkat, who's on the other end of the mattress, thick brows downturned in a frown. "Your hair was barely even neat! With this stupid haircut on your head that looks like you cut it blindfolded without the aid of a mirror, there's not much to mess up in the first place."
Dave opens his mouth and then makes a exaggerated offended gesture. "My haircut? Please, my hair looks awesome, you're simply jealous of it because your hair looks like something you'd see on a mad scientist's head. Add some goggles and a white coat and bam, you have a pretty dope mad scientist oc right here."
Karkat slowly takes his scarf off, fidgeting with the fringed edge of it before pulling it loose off his neck, turning his face towards Dave. "What? My hair isn't even that bad! I can admit it's a bit messy and frizzy, I'm not stupid to deny that, but i don't look anywhere close to a mad scientist!"
Dave snickers. "Dude, you have like, all the mad scientist stereotype features here man. You have the fucked up hair, the exquisite vocabulary, being a little insane in the head.. You need a little more smarts but i suppose there's no set rule that a mad scientist can't be dumb."
Karkat's frown deepens into a pissed off expression as he crawls his way back to Dave's side. "Stop spewing bullshit about me! Insane in the head, 'need more smarts'? I'll let you know that even in the small possibility of those applying to me, which they don't, you're on a much worse level than me! You dare call me 'insane in the head' after all the daily horseshit you fill my hear ducts with? Maybe shove your eyes inside your skull and take a look at your own thinkpan first!"
Dave makes a placating hand gesture. "Hey man, cool it off. There's nothing's wrong with my brain, i am simply a misunderstood genius and you all aren't ready do deal with my intellect, that's why you think I'm dumb but you're wrong."
"Misunderstood genius of having your sponge shoved up your wastechute, it is!" Karkat shoots back, poking a finger to Dave's chest. "Absolutely no one wants to deal with your 'intellect' or the steaming hot shit you call intellect!"
"Blablabla, translating 'I'm jealous of genius Dave Strider', blablabla." He gestures talking with his hands
"Jealous? Please, don't make a fool out of yourself." Karkat rolls his eyes with a pft, fluffing up his pillow before flopping down on it. "Instead of talking nonsense, do us a favour and go to sleep."
Dave scoots over to Karkat and lays down beside him, watching as he snuggles with ths blankets on his own. "Whatever. I'm only laying down because I'm feeling really tired, not because I'm obeying, okay?" He pulls the blankets to slip in beside his boyfriend.
"Okay, sure." Karkat reaches over to take Dave's shades off, and his face drops a little due to still being unused to leave his eyes naked, though it takes little time for him to recover and relax, in which Karkat takes the opportunity to kiss his cheek. "Goodnight."
Dave snuggles closer, resting his own head against Karkat's, arms wrapping around his torso. "Goodnight." He mutters back against Karkat's hair, and the other smiles at his reciprocation, letting his eyes fall shut as they doze off together.