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The emergency lights shut off. The doors unlocked. People drifted out of their hiding spots. The police were in the hallways, making sure everyone was okay.
The first thing Dennis heard was a shuffle of a door opening, a scream. Dennis rushed over, a horrible feeling rushing through him. The trauma room door was open.
Trinity sat with her back against the wall, hugging her knees. She had a wide, unfocused gaze leading to the wall across from her.
Dennis' heart stutters.
He could hardly breathe.
He had never seen her so lost. So out of touch with reality.
Dana is the first to kneel to her level, trying to snap her back into focus.
There is no response.
Only her hands squeezing in fists against her sleeves. Burying her face into her knees.
Dennis was so focused on Santos that he hardly noticed the puddle of blood nearby. The body of a man lying in it. People around him checking for a pulse. He doesn’t wait a second longer.
He crouches to her.
Nervous hand reaching for her shoulder. Resting gently.
He could tell that Santos knew it was him. She subconsciously leaned where he was farther away from the man. He gently whispered
“Santos, you okay? Look at me”
Her head lifted but not at him. He took a hold of her face forcing her to turn away from the commotion.
“Dont look— don’t— just focus on me. It’s okay” he swallows as his voice breaks, trying to keep his tears at bay. “It’s over, you're safe” he whispers just as his eyes catch on the puffiness of a black eye forming. There were bits of blood on her scrub seemingly not from her.
It was unnerving for Dennis to see her like this. She was always strong, a quality that Dennis admired.
A shadow fell over them, suddenly loud.
“Jesus Christ Santos what did you do?!” Dennis felt anger flow through him. He lifts himself just enough to shove at Robby’s hip.
“Back off her” he barely notices the look of shock in his eyes. He couldn’t find it in him to care about their relationship at that moment. He pulls her up.
“Come on Santos we can make sure you're okay in here” Dana spoke, helping Dennis carry her to a private trauma room. Dennis sits her on a patient bed.
“The police are gonna be here soon, talk to me. Were you hurt anywhere else?” The questions don’t register.
“..What?”
Dana shoots Dennis a look. Get out. He freezes, turns away. He gives Trinity one last look. He stops in his tracks. Santos was staring at him, eyes wide in panicked look. Eyes glassy.A kind of desperation he hadn’t seen on her face ever before. He stepped closer and stayed right next to her.
“Could you ah— give us a minute”
“Whitaker—“
“Please, just a minute I promise” Her lips pursed as she turned for the door.
“Got 2 minutes, then we gotta talk.”
He waits until the door is completely shut before moving. He leans down the slightest bit to wrap his arms around her. She seemed so unsteady compared to her usual guarded self.
Her head falls to his neck.
They had never hugged before.
“I’m sorry. I'm so sorry” guilt weighs him down.
He should have been there to treat their patient. Then this would have never happened.
“You did what you had to, okay? ” He pulls back for a moment trying to break through to her. For the briefest moment her brows furrow.
“I shouldn’t have let him— he was my patient—"
“No— you didn’t know.” They are quiet for a moment.
“Let’s have Dana check on you, yea? then home” He pauses before saying
“How about some Desperate Housewives?”
“Desperate housewives.”
Her fingers running over the wrist of her opposite hand. A nervous habit Dennis had picked up on.
Dennis brings her close again. Fear still grips him in an adrenaline rush, ignoring how he would get shoved off in normal circumstances. He nuzzles his nose to the crown of her head.
Taking a moment to breathe. A warm exhale escapes her fast..
“Just wanna go home” she says softly, almost pleading.
“Dennis”
The sound of his real name coming from her lips almost makes him jump.
“Yea, okay”
They jump when the trauma room door is thrown open. Garcia is at the door. Breathing fast eyes panicked.
“Oh Jesus Santos what happened?” She goes straight for her. Hand reaching out aimlessly before dropping.
Trinity places a hand to Garcia for a moment before briskly removing the touch.
“I’m fine”
Dennis and Garcia are taken out of the room. Dana takes Kiara in with her and the trauma door is shut on them.
After a long while Trinity came out, Garcia was quickly next to her and asking questions. Dennis looks toward Dana “Is she good to go?”
Dana nodded “She’s gonna be fine, kid. It was self defense.” Dana pauses to think.
“Turns out he had a history of mental health concerns that didn’t make it on his chart. That’s on the system, not her.”
“How— how does that even happen?”
“People make mistakes, just get her home safe” She patted his shoulder before leaving.
Garcia's eyes linger a little too long as she checks on Santos. Tension rising by the second.
“Wanna go?” she swallows before nodding. Garcia catches Trinity again
“Do you want me to come over?” Dennis snaps up to her, almost answering—
when Santos shakes her head.
“Just wanna sleep”
******
Dennis drove Trinity's car on the way back.
“What do u want for dinner?”
She shrugged.
“We have a frozen pizza.”
“Lazy pizza? Guess it is one of those nights.” Trinity scrolls on her phone while the pizza is in the oven. They eat silently while they watch the second season of Desperate Housewives. Dennis can tell that Trinity isn’t focused on it. She wanders off to her bed without a second word. Dennis jumps up.
“Do you need me to—“ Trinity shakes her head. Running her fingers through her roots she says
“I can’t think anymore”
Dennis’s hands pick at each other.
“G’night”
“Night”
Dennis doesn’t sleep. He doesn’t know how to relax after the stress from the day. The police storming in almost gave him a heart attack. The suspect was caught and everything should be back to normal when they go back to work later in the week but now Dennis was uneasy.
How would they walk the same halls after something like that?
Dennis had so many things to say to so many people that had only come out in the heat of the moment. He doesn’t bother to think about the missed calls from Robby. His mind drifts to Santos. How she would recover from this.
He knew she was an empathetic person.
One time Dennis had slipped up with a patient, she took the heat off him. Not like she fully took the blame, but she still shifted it away from him. she would buy him stuff without being asked to. He never had to worry about running out of his favorite protein bars he ate every day.
She would never admit to any of that though.
He supposed that even though it wasn’t obvious she was the one that took care of him.
Today it was his turn.
He didn’t know what time it was when he fell asleep. He wakes up in the night, noises coming from the living room. The lights are on and Trinity is in the kitchen. When he’s next to the counter she finally sees him. Her expression turning fearful before her glass crashes to the ground. She hisses,
“What the hell fuckle-berry!”
“I’m— I’m sorry” She just stands there eyes glaring at the shards of glass.
“Your bleeding” The worry bleeds into his voice. He gets the first aid kit as she sits on the couch.
It’s a shallow cut near her ankle, no glass embedded. He starts to get low to place a bandaid on but she quickly snatches it from him. Irritated and embarrassed, she quickly puts it on.
Dennis watches her while she does it, subconsciously he checks the rest of her leg for blood.
He only spots healed ones.
Her shorts had ridden up just enough to see a few faint scars.
He doesn’t say anything and looks away.
He hears her shift in her spot.
They sit back down onto the sofa wordlessly.
The room goes quiet.
Dennis leans his head on Trinity's shoulder. Softly at first in fear of getting pushed away like usual. She was too tired to resist. The wall she kept up was down for the night.
“You don’t have to pretend to be okay”
Silent tears fall with uneven breaths.
They don’t hug or hold each other. They don’t fall to the ground. They crumble together on the couch. The fear from the day finally catching up.
They let the comfort of their home hold them.
******
Trinity wakes up to Garcia banging on her door. She gets up off the couch, causing Dennis to flop to the arm of the chair to lay on instead.
When she answers the door her voice is sluggish. Garcia stood in her living room, awkward in Dennis’s presence and waiting for Trinity to lead her away.
“We’ll be in my room” Trinity murmurs as she crosses the kitchen.
Trinity is not looking forward to having to talk to Garcia about what had happened. She was barely even able to talk to Huckleberry, how was she going to tell her? Yolanda wasn't touchy in public but as soon as her bedroom door was shut there were hands in her own.
If Trinity hadn't been so shocked frozen she wouldn’t have noticed the slight tremble in Yolanda’s limbs.
“I’m okay. I promise.” Trinity murmurs. They sat at the edge of her bed, still close.
“Tell me what happened” her eyes are still worried even though Trinity had told her she was fine.
Trinity cringes as she recalls everything that went down in the trauma room. She decided to give her the short version.
The whole story had Yolanda razor focused. She does not interrupt, waiting patiently for Trinity to get it all out.
Trinity does not mention how the fight had started, she doesn’t mention how it felt to be decked in the face by a patient. By the end of the story Yolanda is trapped in her thoughts.
“You scared me, you know. I didn’t know what happened.”
Trinity nodded, not quite knowing how to respond to that.
“I just don’t get why you couldn’t talk to me.” Then suddenly quiet,
“I didn’t know if you wanted me there.”
Garcia shakes her head, spiraling.
“I mean, you were over there, with him and you couldn’t even tell me if you were alright.”
She bites her cheek before finally asking,
“Why him?”
Trinity’s eyes widened in shock at Garcia's sudden question. It only becomes more incessant when Trinity doesn’t pitch in.
“I’m serious. Last time I checked you couldn’t stand him.”
“Jesus, Garcia I can’t do this—” She was so tired.
“—It’s not a competition” They sit for a moment, Trinity avoids her gaze when she hears.
“But you chose him.”
“This isn’t about you.” Garcia stared at the ground, still worrying her cheek.
”I know its not, I was just worried”
they stay silent for a moment.
“You wouldn’t even look at me. And he was there being everything.” The arm that was rested on Santos arm squeezed slightly.
“I don’t get it.”
“He’s my fucking family. In case you have noticed, the family I do have doesnt care nearly enough to visit.” Trintiy runs her fingers through her hair.
“So yea, sorry if your feelings were hurt.”
”I didn’t mean it like that” Trintiy crosses her arms, the energy to fight draining out.
She didn't want to fight anymore.
She was tired of thinking.
“Wanna lay down?” Yolanda gives her a cautious look before nodding. Her arms wrapped around the woman as she decided that she didnt want to feel.
******
She didn’t know when exactly Huckleberry had stopped being the “farm kid roommate” but she did remember a night that felt different. They stayed overtime on a shift. It was almost the morning.
To say they were tired was an understatement. Huckleberry only had a few loose quarters between the both of them for the vending machine.
They hadn’t eaten for hours and Trinity was snappy, sick of the day and yearning for her bed. Dennis never really got angry at her for that, annoyed yes but he always put up with her.
They decided on pop tarts in the vending machine. The kind that had been in there far too long. They sat in the break room, completely silent while eating their dinner. There was just something about that was so mundane. Neither of them were on edge, it was a comfortable silence. Almost trusting.
She had stolen his jacket from his locker. He didn’t say anything when he saw her wearing it. It was freezing and at this point Trinity had been stealing so much of his stuff that he didn’t bat an eye. At some point Huckleberry spoke up
“You cannot tell me you don’t see a smirking guy in these sprinkles.” Trinity scootches closer tilting her head to see it.
“I don’t see anything huckleberry, maybe you're just mixing your fantasies with your food.” He gives her a look.
“You know I’m not picky about that kind of stuff, right?” He avoids saying it outright, like he always does.
“Well I assumed but thanks for the confirmation.”
She can see him shaking his head out of the corner of her eye.
She wonders what it was like, figuring out something like that in a place like Broken Bow Nebraska. From the clues she had gathered about his family they seemed pretty old fashioned.
“Hey,” she nudges his shoulder with her own. “Nobody cares about stuff like that.” She pauses before adding, “not like where you came from” she crosses her legs.
“Its not your fault they’re assholes”
******
When Garcia had to leave, Trinity finally decided to haul herself up out of bed. Dennis is in the kitchen eating half an avocado. Trinity doesn’t see anymore avocados in sight.
“Dude that was my last one, not cool.” He doesn’t bat an eye.
She sits at the counter, quietly watching Dennis before speaking.
“Hey, I'm sorry about yesterday”
“What?”
“Nothing, just thanks.” Dennis nods, still not understanding why she would be apologizing.
“You don’t have to thank me. You’d do the same.”
Trinity can’t look in his eyes when she nods. She couldn’t believe how she had acted. She felt completely exposed. Atleast knowing that he would be there made it easier to move on.
One time She'd got angry at him for mixing their laundry and snapped at him. She felt guilty later. He was just trying to help, that’s what he does. He wants to help anyone that needs it. That’s why Trinity was going to stay right where she was. Nobody would ever get the chance to take advantage of him.
******
When they go back in for their shift the next morning Trinity is relatively calm. Her mind isn’t on the incident anymore. They are walking together to put their things in their locker. Usually Dennis would have gone ahead but he seemed more patient. It wasn’t until she saw the doorway that she had a reaction. The trauma room she had spent almost 30 minutes trapped in was to her left.
Her movements slow.
The familiar beeping of a monitor. The antiseptic that clung to her skin everyday at work, but it seemed darker now.
An unwanted memory tied down to the sensations.
Her breath falters as she remembers the look in the man's eyes.
The way his body towered over her as she stumbled back.
The heavy shove of her hands hitting him, a body hitting against a crash table.
There was a slight nudge of the shoulder. Their eyes connect for a moment. A way of silently asking if she was okay.
She nodded before moving in front of him.
Passing the room like it was nothing out of the ordinary.
“Whitaker, Santos, get suited up quick, we need all hands on deck.” Robby speaks while carting a patient with other nurses into a room.
Sadly Langdon was in the way. His foot is briskly ran over. The cart almost completely stopped on top of him. He groans in pain. When he brings his foot up and holds it in his hands Santos notices how red his face is.
She whirls back to look at Whitaker.
A quick glance is all it takes. She covered her mouth as a muffled laugh escaped. Huckleberry was practically tripping over her as they bolted for the locker room. Their limbs jabbing against each other, their laughter breaking out louder the farther they got.
By the time they settle it is peaceful. There was nothing else to say. The dread they had started with that morning dissipated. As Whitaker rips his locker open. Trinity saw something that made her do a double take.
“Why do you have my headphones in your locker”
Dennis glances at her,
”I charged them”
Trinity sighs, slamming her locker door closed.