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Stiles was dating Lydia Martin, the girl of his dreams.
He should be over the moon.
But he wasn’t.
They’d been on three dates so far, but he didn’t react to them like he always thought he would. Sure, he’d had fun, but it just felt like they were hanging out like friends did. Well, except for the one kiss they shared on their second date, but it had felt off, wrong somehow.
And he didn’t know what to do.
One day, he was sitting in the library with Scott and Lydia when he realized why.
“Is that Malia with Jimmy Fisher?” Lydia asked.
Stiles’ head whipped up so fast it hurt.
He spotted Malia walking in, holding hands with Jimmy.
And he thought he might puke.
What’s she doing holding hands with Jimmy Freaking Fisher?!
He didn’t take his eyes off of them until they disappeared behind the shelves.
No. She can’t be—I can’t believe…
He felt betrayed and he knew it wasn’t fair.
He’d broken up with her after all. He decided to push her away. Still, it hurt.
“Stiles?” Lydia asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.
He flinched away and stood up abruptly. “I have to go,” he mumbled, gathering up all his stuff and shoving it in his bag.
Ignoring Lydia and Scott calling after him, Stiles practically ran out of the library.
Stiles banged his head against his steering wheel.
What’s wrong with me? Why did I freak out like that?
We’re over. I have a—I have Lydia now. Malia should find somebody too right? I should want her to be happy.
He tasted the saltiness of tears on his lips and realized he was crying.
Then he couldn’t stop.
It was like a dam burst inside of him.
It shouldn’t surprise him, really.
He hadn’t really taken the time to deal with his feelings about his break up with Malia. Stiles had chosen to dive into his schoolwork, find a job and take a chance with Lydia instead of just letting himself feel. And now it was all coming out because he couldn’t handle seeing her with someone else.
Oh my god. We’re all sticking together. What’s gonna happen when we’re all in college and I have to see her meet the love of her life?
We made plans together. What am I supposed to do now? What’s she going to do?
Stiles even had plans for after college for them that he hadn’t told Malia about.
He planned for them to get an apartment together their second year, propose to her the night they graduated, get married a year later and eventually have a kid or two.
But now they were broken up, and he wasn’t even sure why.
He started banging his head on the steering wheel.
I’m still in love with her and I think I always will be.
Stiles stopped moving as it struck him.
She’s it for me. Like she’s The One for me.
Stiles groaned.
He was such an idiot.
He needed to find some way to make it up to Malia and beg her to take him back.
But what if I just screw it up again? I’m an idiot so I’m bound to do something.
And that one thought was enough for him to decide he shouldn’t do anything. Not when he was so sure he’d make a mess of everything again even if by some miracle she took him back.
Three weeks later he found himself frozen in place, watching Malia and Jimmy who were sitting at his normal table with Scott.
Stiles didn’t realize he was staring a hole into the back of Malia’s head until Lydia snapped her fingers in front of his face and he turned to look at her.
“What?” He asked dumbly.
“Are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah, I just, I—“He didn’t know how to finish his sentence.
I what?
“You were just hopelessly staring at Malia?” Lydia filled in.
He wanted to protest, maybe even reassure his kind of girlfriend that he wasn’t still pining after his ex, but for once he couldn’t bring himself to lie, so instead he said, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
He could feel Lydia staring after him, but he didn’t care at the moment. He just needed to get away and clear his head
Stiles ended up just sitting in his jeep, staring at nothing until he decided to just leave. His friendship with Scott was still a little fragile these days so he wasn’t ready to talk to him about anything too heavy.
Like realizing I fucked up and can’t fix it.
Stiles went home and curled up in his bed, trying not to think as he willed himself to fall asleep. That didn’t work of course and all the good times he’d had with Malia kept replaying in his head, especially the ones they’d had in this bed.
It hurt. It hurt so damn much to think about what he’d lost, especially knowing it was his own fault.
And so he did the only thing that felt right.
He cried quietly into his pillow until he passed out.
“I think we should break up,” Lydia said.
“Sure, whatever you want,”Stiles said absently, staring after Malia.
“So it worked then?” Lydia asked.
The question confused Stiles enough to make him actually turn to her.
Wait, did we just break up?
“What worked?”
“Getting you to realize you need Malia,” Lydia explained.
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Stiles, did you honestly think I’d date my friends ex? I’m not that type of person,” Lydia said.
“But we-we’ve been…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish that thought.
“Hanging out? Like friends do?” She filled in for him. “When you asked me out, I thought it was the perfect chance to get you to realize I wasn’t what you wanted anymore.”
“You were playing me?”
Lydia nodded.
“But you kissed me?”
“Did you feel anything?”
“Um,”he hesitated.
“You can say no,” She said. “I won’t be offended.”
“No,” he admitted.
“And that wasn’t your big clue that you didn’t want me anymore?” Lydia asked.
Stiles was struck speechless for a moment, then,“You must be so happy being smarter than everyone.”
Lydia rolled her eyes. “Are you going to get back with Malia or what?”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because she’s with Jimmy now!”
“No she’s not,” Lydia informed him.
“What?”
“She and Jimmy are just friends. Told me herself.” Lydia said. “Does that change your answer or is there something else?”
Stiles looked at the ground, contemplating his answer. “What if I screw up again?”
“Then you’ll just have to try to fix it again,” Lydia said as if it was obvious.
Stiles frowned. “You really think it’s that easy?”
“Nothing’s ever easy, but relationships have their ups and downs and all you can do is just try.” Lydia told him.
“What, are you some kind of love guru?”
Lydia rolled her eyes again. “Just trust me, okay?”
Stiles nodded.
“So,” Lydia started,”what’s your plan to get her back?”
Stiles waited patiently for Malia to arrive from where he sat in a booth, staring out the window. Though he looked calm, he was convinced his heart was going to beat out of his chest.
His plan wasn’t anything dramatic like it would be if his life were a movie. It was simply to have Malia meet up with him at one of their favorite places to eat and actually talk to her about his feelings.
What do I even start off with?
He absently checked his phone for the time, growing even more anxious at the thought that she might not even decide to show.
Finally, he saw her walk in and he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“Hey,” Malia greeted quietly as she slid into the booth.
“Hey,” he said back.
“Did you order?” She asked, not quite looking at him.
“Yeah. I got our usual,” He replied, looking down at the table.
She nodded and they fell into an uncomfortable silence.
Oh god. I asked her down here to talk and I can’t get myself to say anything.
“How are things with Lydia?” Malia asked.
“We, uh, we broke up,” Stiles said before taking a sip of his coke.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
Stiles shrugged. “It’s okay. We weren’t really dating anyway.”
“What do you mean?”
Stiles realized now wa his chance to put it all out there. “She was just trying to get me to realize I didn’t want her like that anymore and it worked. She even helped me realize something. Something really huge. Like, life changing.”
Malia looked at him curiously. “What did you realize?”
His anxiety peaked, reached that point where he felt numb and he couldn’t feel how terrified he was as he said,”You’re the love of my life.”
Malia stared at him, stunned into silence.
He barreled on while he still felt brave,”I love you and I always will. And I’m sorry for breaking up with you the way I did. I was confused and felt like I was being crushed by what happened to Donovan. But I’m not confused or ashamed anymore. And I know what I want. I want you. I want us to go to the same college, move in together at some point, get engaged, figure out our lives together, get married and have two or three kids down the road. You’re it for me Malia and I hope I’m it for you too.” He looked down at the table.
As soon as he finished his he could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his throat constricting and his hands shaking. He hoped she said something soon because his momentary bravery was gone.
A full minute of silence passed.
Why hasn’t she said anything?
He looked up slowly and saw Malia had tears in her eyes. He slid out of the booth and went over to her side.
Malia reached for him, pulling him into a tight hug that he couldn’t get out of even if he wanted to try. He hugged her back, stroking her head.
“I missed you so much it hurt,” Malia admitted quietly.
“I know what you mean. Felt like I was missing a part of myself,” Stiles confessed.
She pulled away enough to kiss him desperately until the waitress cleared her throat as she approached. They pulled apart and waited for her to set down their food.
“So, does this mean what I think it means?” Stiles asked hopefully.
“Coyotes mate for life,”Malia said. “And I choose you to be mine.”
Stiles smiled, feeling happier than he had in months.
Sure, they still had things they needed to talk about, but they decided to play catch up on the time they’d missed instead and enjoy dinner.