Work Text:
Drip.
Drop.
Drip.
Drop.
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip-
Takumi's eyes snapped open. The incessant sound of the water hitting the bottom of his shower was going to drive him absolutely insane. Death by one thousand drops of water torture, or however the saying went.
He begrudgingly got out of bed, yawning as he made his way to the bathroom. He shielded his eyes from the light after he flipped the switch. On his toilet seat lay the once-connected shower head. He strained his neck to get a good look at where the water was leaking from. The toilet paper he had stuffed into the hole an hour earlier was soaked through and gummy. Takumi poked it, and it slid into the hole between the shower and the wall.
Takumi didn't know the first thing about plumbing. Normally, he would knock on Tsubasa's door and ask for some help. Though, this being her fault, she was the last person he wanted to bother right now especially at this hour.
There was one other option, though, to visit someone who would be more than happy with a spontaneous night time visitor.
Takumi made his way over to the room, and knocked on the door.
"Hey, Yugamu… It's me," said Takumi, trying not to shout too loud. The others would certainly get the wrong impression if he shouted too loudly.
"Just a second!" Yugamu called back.
Takumi breathed a sigh of relief. Good, he was awake. Hopefully this wouldn't be too awkward. Yugamu could be quite the oddball sometimes, always saying just the right thing to make Takumi squirm out of his skin. Still, if he wanted to get some sleep tonight, this was his best bet.
Takumi's jaw dropped as Yugamu swung the door open, clad in nothing but his black briefs and eye-patch. When he saw Takumi's expression, his cheeks blushed and he held his arms over his chest.
"Aha… How embarrassing…" Yugamu teased. Takumi couldn't tell if Yugamu had taken so long to greet him because he was looking for underwear, or because he was too busy taking everything else off. This encounter left him even more confused. "I wasn't expecting you, or I would have cleaned the place up. I should have sharpened my scalpel to slice you open— I mean, cut the thorns off some roses for you."
Slice him open?! Maybe this was a mistake… Takumi shook his head. No, Yugamu was just being weird again.
"That's alright," said Takumi, still awkwardly standing in the cool night air. "I'm not big on roses anyways."
Yugamu gestured for Takumi to come inside the room. He promptly closed the door. Yugamu's room had a soft blue glow to it. There were a few scattered vials on his coffee table, some upright, some tipped on their sides. A few syringes lay on the table as well.
"Couldn't sleep? Nerves get to you?" asked Yugamu, noticing Takumi's inspecting gaze. "Looking for something to knock you out? I have quite a few suggestions—"
"No thanks," said Takumi, crossing his arms over his chest. He'd rather not get injected with anything. Even the thought of it made him feel a bit ill, though he couldn't quite place it. "Tsubasa took my shower apart, and now it has this really annoying drip that won't stop… I was wondering if I could just crash here tonight, y'know, get some sleep…"
Yugamu sucked air in through his teeth.
"Aha… I thought it would be something like that," he said, reserved. He gestured towards his own bed. "Please, make yourself at home. But no shoes on the bed, or I'll hang you upside down by your feet."
"Understood!" Takumi quickly exclaimed. Maybe he shouldn't have brought up Tsubasa. Yugamu looked more annoyed than when Takumi first showed up. He couldn't entirely blame him; since she joined their operation, things between the two of them had been a little tense. At first, Takumi was wondering if it was all in his head, yet Yugamu's reaction all but confirmed it.
Takumi awkwardly made his way over to the bed, then kicked his shoes off. Yugamu watched him from afar. Takumi couldn't help but just stand there.
"You're my guest, so you can have my bed," said Yugamu. "I don't mind the couch. All the better to watch you from, hehe." He gave Takumi a wink.
Takumi felt disappointment creep into his chest. He hadn't realized that he expected the two of them to share the bed until he was proven wrong.
"Thanks," he said, hoping Yugamu didn't read into his disappointment too much. He paid Yugamu no mind as he lay down, and pulled the covers up closer. His bed was warm, he must have been laying here before Takumi rudely woke him up. Though the bed was made, that could have been the extra time Yugamu spent before opening the door. Takumi swallowed the lump in his throat. Had he wanted them to share, but chickened out last moment?
He tried not to think about it too hard, otherwise he would be up all night.
Yugamu turned the blue lights down, until they were nothing but a faint glow, then climbed onto the couch.
Takumi curled up in Yugamu's bed and pulled the covers tighter, turning himself into a cocoon. He took a deep breath in through his nose. The sheets smelled like Yugamu. He was glad it was too dark for Yugamu to notice, although Takumi wouldn't be surprised if Yugamu had night vision. That wouldn't be out of the ordinary, for how many experimental modifications he had to his body.
Yugamu tossed and turned on the couch. It was almost as unpleasant to listen to as the drip of the shower. Takumi sighed. Loudly.
"You can join me up here, you know… It's your bed," said Takumi. Yugamu sat up on the couch. Perhaps it was just the faint blue glow of the lights around the room, but his uncovered eye seemed to be glowing like a cat's.
"Are you sure? You're playing a dangerous game, Takumi. I might get the urge to cut you open while you sleep," taunted Yugamu. "What if you woke up, and all of your organs were gone?"
Takumi sighed loudly.
"First Tsubasa takes my bathroom apart, now you're going to take my body apart… It never ends, does it!" he sighed exasperated. "Can't you just control yourself? I can't sleep listening to you roll around like a hot dog!"
"Are you sure? I can't sleep unless I'm totally naked," said Yugamu. "You might brush up against me…"
"Is that why you've been shifting around— " Takumi's eyes drifted down to the suspiciously underwear shaped dark fabric crumpled on top of the coffee table. He then glanced at Yugamu, who was staring at him with one eye. His eyes traveled downwards. It was dark enough that Takumi couldn't really see anything from where Yugamu was sitting. "Oh! Well, this is your room, after all… And this is your bed… And you are my…"
Friend? No, it was a lot deeper than that. Yugamu filled a spot in his life that he wasn't sure another person could ever replace. Calling their bond simple friendship didn't nearly scratch the surface of the nuance. Partner was the next term that popped into his mind. Wasn't that what Tsubasa was? The three of them had been working together closely to overtake the sponsor in an unlikely alliance. But Takumi knew, even after they succeeded, their bonds wouldn't just fall apart. His appreciation for Yugamu overtook his usefulness in coming up with and executing plans. If Tsubasa could be his girlfriend, then Yugamu could be his…
Boyfriend.
Takumi felt his cheeks get hot. Yugamu had been teasing about the two of them being a couple for weeks now. At first, Takumi felt like he became desensitized to it, since Yugamu had a habit of saying things to get a rise out of people. But maybe they grew into it naturally, the lines blurring as their life or death situation strengthened their bond. There was nothing life or death at stake right now, just Takumi's insomnia, and an insatiable urge to get Yugamu into the bed with him.
"The beds are big enough for two people. We can share. I don't mind," said Takumi. He was already imposing on Yugamu's sleep by coming over in the first place. Kicking him out of his own bed was an even bigger burden. "Or… if you really don't want to share, I'll take the couch."
Takumi looked to the side and suddenly saw Yugamu standing there, unaware of when he had gotten up and walked over. His footsteps were always so light Takumi could never hear him, perfect for an assassin.
"And give up an opportunity to get in bed with you?" teased Yugamu. "The wait was killing me. I thought you'd never ask!"
What was with this guy? He was always making jokes about the two of them sleeping together, but the moment he actually had a chance, he needed to be invited like some sort of vampire. There was always the possibility that he took sick pleasure in coercing Takumi to initiate, to admit his feelings that he held close to his chest. It wasn't his fault Yugamu was always teasing him. He had a way of flirting feel so easy that sometimes Takumi doubted if he meant it at all. The alternative was that Yugamu truly was just an overall nice guy at heart.
Yugamu slipped into bed next to him, not even so much as disturbing the covers. He could have done it while Takumi was already asleep, and he would have been none the wiser.
Takumi lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Yugamu was on his side, facing away from him. There were a few inches between them, as if there were an invisible barrier neither of them could cross.
He hadn't shared a bed like this since he was a kid, with Karua, but only when they were really small. Once they'd gotten older, it wasn't appropriate anymore. Despite him and Yugamu both being guys, somehow this didn't feel appropriate either, probably because of how much Takumi wanted to bring him closer.
Takumi reached his hand behind him to try to touch Yugamu's skin. A hand, a leg, and arm, it would all do. Instead he was met with sheets and blanket.
"You're treading in dangerous waters," Yugamu joked.
Ugh! This guy!
Takumi took his hand back and held the blankets closer. Whatever. Stupid Yugamu and his naked sleep habits making this more awkward than it had to be.
He could feel Yugamu's breath softly on the back of his neck. Takumi scooted himself a little closer, brushing his leg up against Yugamu's, finally backing him enough towards the edge of the bed that he'd either have to contact him, or fall off.
But even then, Yugamu found some way to maneuver himself away.
Takumi sighed.
"You can touch me. If you want to," he said, keeping his back to Yugamu. His cheeks burned red.
"Are you sure? You wouldn't want to have to put me down like a dog that's had a taste of blood," Yugamu murmured. "I think about you a lot, Takumi, about things that would give you nightmares."
"Tell me about them in the morning, so I can sleep tonight."
Yugamu's cold fingers trailed down Takumi's arm, just the tips, as if he were petting the delicate scales of a lizard. His hand trembled, as if the wrong move would shatter Takumi into a million pieces. It caused Takumi to shiver, the hair on his arm beginning to stand on end.
Takumi grabbed Yugamu's timid hand and brought it to his chest, placing it palm flat against his skin.
"Stop tickling me," he said sternly. "You're so cold…"
"Aha, sorry… Poor circulation," said Yugamu. Takumi leaned backwards, and pulled Yugamu's arm closer so Yugamu's chest brushed against his back.
"That can't be comfortable. I'll warm you up," said Takumi. Yugamu's arm stiffened up. He could feel Yugamu's quickening heart beat through his chest pressed up from behind him.
"Hah… You're thawing me, Takumi… so spoiled," teased Yugamu. Takumi relaxed as Yugamu finally started to let his hands explore his skin. His nails were long, and sharp, and somehow kept finding their way to the nearest vein, noting down the location as they'd follow it up his arm.
"Having fun?" asked Takumi. He couldn't see Yugamu, but he could feel him nod his head on the pillow.
"Of course, I have a cute boy in my bed. Much to think about," said Yugamu.
"What are you thinking about?" Takumi had to admit, he was surprised Yugamu hadn't pounced at the opportunity to get in bed together. For someone who was tossing innuendo around, he didn't put his money where his mouth was.
"I really can't say. Don't worry your pretty little head about it," said Yugamu, cheekily.
"I really want to know," said Takumi, furrowing his eyebrows together. "You're always so cryptic about what you're actually thinking. You keep telling me I won't like it, and all it's doing is making me curious! It can't be that bad— "
"And what if it is?" asked Yugamu. He pressed his nails tip down into Takumi's soft skin. "You're sharing a bed with a ruthless assassin, after all."
"That's true, but if you wanted to murder me, you would have already."
"… You make a bold claim for someone easily killable," teased Yugamu. "Do you trust me, Takumi?"
Did he trust Yugamu? He trusted Yugamu with his life. If it weren't for him coming to the rescue after the Killing Game began, Takumi would have perished to the invaders. The two of them had each others' backs.
With Yugamu's hand on his neck, fingers thumbing his jugular vein, everything in his body was screaming for him to reconsider.
His mind disagreed.
He wanted to trust Yugamu. Yugamu wouldn't do anything to him.
"Yes," said Takumi.
"Do you know the difference between an artery and a vein?" asked Yugamu.
"Uhm, yeah, it…" Takumi's mind drew a blank card. He must have fallen asleep during that lecture. "A different type of vein."
Yugamu made a noise of amusement. He brushed the back of his finger against Takumi's neck, playing with one of the veins he located. He pressed on it slightly, then let go, letting his sharp nail rest alongside it.
"So silly, Takumi… The arteries are where the fun is! Full of such vitality, the oxygen gives it a bright shade of red, like your hair. One slice and it would become a geyser with every heart beat, your very life force draining around you," he purred. Takumi felt Yugamu's grip on his neck tighten, slowly, a boa constrictor encircling its prey. Takumi swallowed. Yugamu took advantage of the relaxation, leaving even less room to breathe.
"The arteries in your neck supply the oxygen to your brain. Deprived for long enough, you'll die," said Yugamu, excitedly.
His heart rate began to increase. Takumi wasn't sure if it was from the lack of oxygen, adrenaline, or if he took some kind of perverse pleasure in letting Yugamu have control over his breath.
"Isn't it fascinating, Takumi? Humans have such a critical weak point…"
Takumi wanted to believe his intentions were good, seeing through the particular phrasing Yugamu laid out in a trap.
He could tell Yugamu didn't want to kill him— not now, at least. What mattered right now was vulnerability. They were in bed together, unclothed (partially, in Takumi's case), spending their first night together. And what was more intimate than letting each other be vulnerable, physically or emotionally?
"… thank you, Takumi, for letting me experience yours."
Takumi could see the look of pure ecstasy in Yugamu's eye, illuminated in the blue light. He was suddenly reminded of how praying mantises would take the heads off their partner after mating, feasting on the remains of their lover. It was the only way to be physically closer after sharing such a bond, yet only the survivor would reap the rewards. The only saving grace here, was that they hadn't made love… yet.
He tried to breathe again, but Yugamu wasn't done yet. Takumi began to panic. A shiver went down his spine. He could attempt to scream for help, but that would likely lead to Yugamu's demise once the others walked in on their intimate scene. He could claw at Yugamu's wrist, bring his feet up and kick him in the chest, a beating against the ribs that protected his heart.
He didn't want to hurt Yugamu.
He trusted Yugamu.
Instead, he closed his eyes.
Yugamu wouldn't actually hurt him.
As if his silent prayer had been answered, Yugamu's grip lessened up. Takumi gasped for air, almost heaving as it flowed in and out of his throat.
"Now that's a sound I like to hear," said Yugamu, as if nothing had ever happened. "There's nothing cuter than a boy out of breath."
"I almost passed out!" exclaimed Takumi.
"It was only a minute. That's not even long enough to lose consciousness," said Yugamu, as if it were nothing. Takumi rolled his eyes.
"How was I supposed to know that?"
"You weren't, that's why I asked you to trust me."
Takumi was glad he managed to win their little game even though he was unaware of the rules.
"So… you've been lying in bed next to me, thinking about all of my weak spots, is that it?" asked Takumi.
"Simply put, yeah," said Yugamu. It was kind of cute, in its own way. Takumi knew Yugamu was more than capable of taking him out. The restraint was certainly admirable.
Yugamu wrapped his arms around Takumi. It felt nice to be held like this. The last few days had been difficult, going by so fast Takumi hardly had room to breathe. It was almost contradictory in his mind, but here, in the arms of an assassin, he felt safe.
To understand Yugamu was to look layers upon layers deeper underneath what he displayed. Even his clothing concealed him, hiding his true form underneath. Yugamu didn't choke him because he wanted to kill him. He wanted to toe the line between life and death, all while Takumi put it in his hands. It was about trust and intimacy; perhaps it was projection on his part, but Takumi felt it could also be love. Yugamu shared some of his deep desire, and for that, Takumi was grateful.
"I told you what I was thinking about," prefaced Yugamu. Takumi gulped. "Can you tell me what's on this brain of yours?"
"It's not that easy," said Takumi, sinking further into Yugamu's grasp. Being honest about his feelings without layering them felt like an impossible task.
"Takumi, you're really going to leave me hanging here?" asked Yugamu. "I'm dying to know.
Takumi rolled his eyes so hard he was sure Yugamu felt it in spirit. It was hard to characterize what he was thinking right now while there was so little, and yet so much going on. They were in bed, Takumi was a bit sleepy, and he honestly wanted Yugamu to pull him even closer, to loop his arms around him so many times that he'd feel the breathlessness from earlier. Takumi didn't realize how much he needed the touch of another person until he lay here wanting to get so close to Yugamu that they could absorb into one person.
He wanted to rule out uncertainty, to confess, but… Maybe Yugamu had already laid out the groundwork, even if it had been a playful joke.
"Hey Yugamu… Do you remember when you said we lost the Best Couple Award to the girls? Did you really mean it?" asked Takumi, in a voice just barely above a whisper. They had hardly partnered up by the time Yugamu called them a couple. Takumi would like to think they counted as one, at least now.
But it seemed Yugamu had other thoughts.
"I'd like to think they have the award. Dying by the hands of your lover… for your lover… there's nothing more romantic than that," said Yugamu, slowly. His words were heavy with somber. Takumi shut his eyes tightly. Everything had been moving too quickly. He should have done something to stop her. In the end, Hiruko's sacrifice saved all of them, not only Darumi. He should be thankful, but after Yugamu's words, he felt guilty. Hiruko couldn't tell Darumi how much she meant to her. That time had passed. In the Killing Game, every day presented new challenges. It's why their little slumber party felt so special. It was safe.
He should really tell Yugamu how he felt, before it was too late.
"No, I meant… Not that part…" Takumi said, awkwardly shifting around. Of course they lost the award to the girls. It would feel so wrong to retroactively take it from them. Takumi took a deep breath."I meant about us being a couple."
"Oh."
Just oh?!
"It was just a silly thought. You said to say whatever was on my mind!" Takumi stammered out quickly.
"I thought you and Tsubasa were a couple."
The jealousy oozed so thickly from Yugamu's tongue that Takumi could almost feel it drip down his skin. It was a trap carefully laid, any wrong move and he'd be left with nothing but poison.
Not really.
Well, kind of.
Yeah.
But aren't we as well?
Maybe it wasn't normal to have these kinds of feelings. These were anything but normal circumstances.
"I thought… we had something too," said Takumi, awkwardly. He didn't know how to broach the topic, it was his fault for phrasing it so poorly in the first place. If he had been more direct, and just told Yugamu how he felt, he wouldn't have had to confront this.
But now Yugamu had put his barriers up. Defensive, suspicious, and retracted inside his shell. He pulled his arms back, but stayed close.
Yugamu was saying all sorts of crazy things to him, all the time. Saying anything back clearly wasn't getting the message across. If he wanted to truly let Yugamu know how he felt, he would have to let his actions speak for him.
"Yugamu. Can I touch one of your weak spots?" asked Takumi.
"… We're going to need more foreplay than that," said Yugamu. "I haven't even put on the sex eye-patch, hold on-"
He moved to get up, but Takumi grabbed him by the wrist. He anticipated a deflection, but didn't realize Yugamu was so eager to look for a way out. It made his heart sink even further. He'd let Yugamu choke him earlier, but Yugamu didn't even trust him enough to play this out. Patience would be a virtue, he could only imagine how vulnerable Yugamu was feeling.
"That is not what I meant- there's a sex eye-patch? What does that even mean?" asked Takumi, baffled. Yugamu slithered back under the covers. "Have you used it?"
"Why, are you jealous?" teased Yugamu. "It's waterproof."
"No! Maybe? I don't know!" sighed Takumi. He took a deep breath in, then out. The two of them had been spending most of their time together, it would have been impossible for Yugamu to have found the time to see someone else. Unlike everyone else here who only experienced this timeline, Takumi had an extra three months to get to know everyone. The second he went back in time, all of those bonds ceased to exist.
But he remembered all of it. He wondered how much of his feelings were for a Yugamu who no longer existed. To Takumi, he was still real.
"I haven't used it yet," admitted Yugamu, squeezing Takumi's hand. "Seeing you all worked up about this can really give a guy the wrong idea, haha!"
"… right idea." Takumi's voice was as soft as he could make it, barely more audible than a whisper. There was a chance, though low, that he was so soft Yugamu hadn't even heard him.
Takumi didn't say anything immediately, waiting a few seconds before he spoke again.
"Just… close your eyes," ordered Takumi. "Eye."
"So dominant," teased Yugamu. He squeezed his eye shut. "Although if you're going to choke me, I can hold my breath for far longer than a minute. I will say, I'm curious to know what you think this 'weak point' of mine is, Takumi. I've been physically altered to remove any obvious weaknesses, though with that killer brain of yours, I'm sure you can think of something-"
"Shh!"
Takumi waited a second as Yugamu shut his mouth. The blue of the lights glowed softly around him. It was nice, ambient, and quiet. So quiet that Takumi could hear his heart beating, so loud he was certain Yugamu could hear it too.
Given infinite time, Takumi wasn't sure he would ever be able to find Yugamu's physical weak spots. He was altered to a point of removing any obvious ones, making him a perfect assassin. Emotionally, though, he knew exactly what to do. Yugamu was a hopeless romantic, after all.
Takumi leaned in and pressed their lips together. Yugamu's lips were warm, and soft, and Takumi could feel them part beneath his own. Yugamu's body tensed up, then softened, letting its guard down. His hands went to Takumi's back, fingers pressing on the gaps of his ribs.
He had to let Yugamu know how he felt, before it was too late. Even if it was embarrassing, so embarrassing he felt like he was going to pass out, Yugamu needed this. He could always do CPR on Takumi to revive him if his heart really did explode.
He pulled out of the kiss and rested his head on Yugamu's chest, listening to his heart.
"I know it's romantic to die for someone, but I'm selfish. I want to make it out of this game alive, and I don't know if I can do that without you. I don't known if I want to… You saved my life, Yugamu," said Takumi, biting down on his bottom lip to ground himself and stop being such a sap. "Let's make it out of the game, alive, together—"
Takumi was cut off by Yugamu nearly pouncing on him, forced to swallow his own words as Yugamu cut off the source with his lips. He wasn't kidding about going feral once he had a taste of something, it felt like Yugamu was practically trying to eat his face off.
But… Takumi would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy it. It wasn't the usual deflection of an uncomfortably sexual joke, or casual flirting. This was pent up desire that only now could he let go.
When he came into Yugamu's room this night, he just wanted a place to sleep, because he'd felt safe here. Now, all he wanted was to stay awake, to have as much time as possible before the day would rise and they would be forced to search for more invaders to slay so they wouldn't perish at the hands of the Sponsor.
Takumi kissed him back, for what felt like minutes, until they both pulled back, chests rising and falling, lips sensitive, breaths quick and audible.
"You were right," said Takumi, before steadying his own breath.
"Hm? About what?" asked Yugamu.
"There really is nothing cuter than a guy out of breath."
Yugamu pulled the covers over his face, just letting his eye peak out. It was cute seeing him shy, when normally he was so outspoken. Perhaps this really was his hidden weakness.