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His hands are still trembling two hours after the video footage has ended. His body feels frozen, unable to move, but his mind is running from thought to thought, one darker and more desperate than the previous one.
When he finally believes he can talk without his voice either breaking or shouting, he closes his eyes for a moment and clenches his fists.
“Why didn’t you show me before, Gideon?”
The AI doesn’t answer with her usual promptness and that makes Len frown.
“I’m sorry, Mr Snart, but you were deep undercover when it happened and Captain Hunter forbade me from contacting you. His reasoning was that it was best not to distract you. I agreed.”
Len clenches his fists again, rage mounting in his chest. Barry’s broken, lifeless body is still at the forefront of his mind and his control is slowly but steadily slipping.
“I’ve been back for two days now.” he points out.
This time the pause from Gideon is longer.
“I thought it would be better coming from the Captain than me.”
“But he didn’t tell me, so you did.”
“Yes.” the AI answers.
Well, there is only only thing Len could and would do now. He breathes once, twice. Barry’s dull eyes would haunt his nightmares forever now.
“I’m going to save Barry. Are you going to help me, Gideon?”
“Yes.”
This time the AI doesn’t hesitate.
***
“Okay, Gideon, it’s time.”
“Sir, for the last time-”
“No, Gideon.” Len interrupts abruptly. “I’m not changing the plan. I count on you to cover my absence.”
“Yes, sir.”
***
With Gideon’s help and accurate information, it’s child play to steal everything he needs.
***
When it’s done, Len barely realizes the amount of blood on the floor, staining his clothes, his hands, his face. Zoom’s body lies broken and bleeding under his and Len doesn’t feel horrified. He’s wanted to destroy the monster as the monster has destroyed the light of his life. He feels a strange kind of satisfaction that he’s succeed.
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, blood and death and a shocked calm all making a perfect mix inside him.
A distant chirp warns him that he’s running out of time, so he gets up. He still has a body to burn and scatter.
***
When he steps into S.T.A.R. Labs his eyes immediately seek out Barry and, only when Len sees him, alive and well and laughing with Cisco, Len breathes again. It’s like he’s been underwater, holding his breath, since the moment Gideon had started playing that video.
He doesn’t know how long he stays there, barely inside the room, drinking and memorizing every detail, every twitch and sound Barry makes.
It’s Barry who finally spots him. Barry beams and Len blinks his eyes a few times to stop the tear threatening to slide down his cheek.
“Len!” Barry exclaims, striding towards him, his smile getting even bigger. “What are you doing here? I thought-”
Before Len can grasp him and kiss him like he desperately wants to, a new, unwelcome voice shatters the moment.
“That’s what I’d like to know as well, Mr Snart.”
The rage he’d thought gone once Zoom’s body had gone up in flames slams back into him and he grits his teeth. Zoom may have butchered Barry, but Hunter is the one who has betrayed Len.
Barry notices immediately the change in Len’s demeanor and grasps Len’s hand. Len squeezes it and turns to face Hunter. And the rest of his crew, apparently. Good. Let them know what kind of leader they’d all been following.
“What did I ask you when you recruited me, Hunter?” he asks, voice low and furious.
Hunter frowns, taken aback.
“I-”
“I asked you if Scarlet here would be okay during the time we were gone.”
He feels Barry tense at his side. Hunter’s eyes widen.
“I-” the man tries again, but Len is in no mood to listen to him. Ever again.
“You said he would be fine. You said he would face a great enemy but he would prevail. And guess what? He didn’t.” he snarls, and only Barry’s hand stops him from attacking the man in front of him. The silence in the cortex is absolute, only interrupted by the chirping of heavy machinery. “Zoom killed him, slowly and painfully. You lied to me, you bastard.”
Hunter puts up his hands.
“Wait, I didn’t know that. It didn’t go this way the first-”
“Of course it didn’t!” Len almost shouts. “You said taking me out of the equation wouldn’t impact the timeline. Well, it did. And you were so caught up in your own crusade that you didn’t check once whether Barry’s timeline changed.”
Len isn’t comfortable thinking he had so much an impact on Barry that his absence brought so huge a change. Barry should have been able to recover from Zoom’s first, brutal attack and defeat him, even without Len. But if Barry had needed him, he should have been here. He may be valuable to his new crew, but he wasn’t irreplaceable. Barry was. Len should have been here.
In the uncomfortable, shocked silence that follows, it’s Barry who brings him back. Barry cups his cheek and makes him turn towards him.
“What did you do?” he asks quietly.
Len finds it difficult to breathe. He’s not ashamed of what he had to do, but Barry is the one with the moral compass. Len doesn’t want to lose Barry, but he never had a choice. Barry had to live and Zoom had to die.
“What was necessary.” he replies and waits for the judgment, for the rejection.
Barry looks at him intently, then smiles lightly. Len doesn’t understand, not even when Barry leans forward and kisses him softly, chastely.
“Thank you.” he whispers against Len’s lips. And before Len’s brain can catch up from his surprise, Barry hugs him tightly. “I love you.”
Len smiles, relieved, against Barry’s cheek.
“Love you too, Scarlet.”