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Thanks to Severus, Harry felt reasonably prepared at seeing Lockhart smiling genially at everyone at the Great Hall.

Harry's emotions ranged from hoping Severus would manage to make the DADA teacher look like a fool, to a slight fear that Lockhart would accidentally do real damage to his guardian.

Lockhart might have looked handsome to some in his deep plum colored robes (a glance at Hermione showed she certainly thought so), but Harry thought it was as fake as his books. He glanced at Ron, who rolled his eyes.

Snape stood next to him, all in black as usual, and looking like he'd like to hex Lockhart on the spot.

You're not alone, Dad, he thought.

Perhaps Severus really could read minds, because his lip curved in a twitch that was-almost-the beginning of a smile.

After waving his hands to signal silence, Lockhart rudely introduced Professor Snape as his "assistant" and accredited him with a "tiny" amount of dueling experience. Harry ground his teeth. His dad had more dueling skill in his pinky finger than the fraud contained in his entire body. Snape's lip understandably curled, but the foolish teacher continued smiling idiotically.

The two faced each other and bowed-Lockhart with all the showing off Harry had come to expect from the fool, and Severus briefly and pointedly.

"As you see," Lockhart began, pompously, "we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position." Harry vaguely wondered how often this occurred in real life, outside of duels... "On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course!"

Ron snorted, but Harry thought Lockhart was right. Killing a fellow teacher was probably frowned upon by Dumbledore...

"One...two...three."

"Expelliarmus!" Severus shouted, and Harry immediately saw what effect the spell could have. There was a blast of light, and Lockhart was blasted off his feet. He flew backwards, slammed into a wall, and slid downward onto the floor.

Malfoy and some of the Slytherins cheered. Harry, for once, agreed entirely with his reaction, and was sorely tempted to join in. Of course, he couldn't, as no matter how awful Lockhart was, he didn't dare openly cheer for Snape.

Inwardly was another matter.

"Do you think he's all right?" squealed Hermione, stands on her tiptoes.

"Who cares!" Harry and Ron told her.

Lockhart, now on his feet, made a big speech of how of course he had known what Snape had been about to do, how he could have stopped it, and so on. Severus looked furious, no doubt wanting to send another hex his way.

Perhaps Lockhart got the message, because he immediately suggested they split into pairs.

Unsurprisingly, Severus paired Harry with Malfoy, but Harry thought he might be ready for the match.

He did, with a sneer, allow Hermione to pair up with Neville.

"Face your partners!" Lockhart called. "And bow!"

Harry barely took his eyes off of Malfoy as he made a slight movement. His nemesis did the same.

"Wands at the ready!" Lockhart went on. "When I count to three, cast your charms to Disarm your opponents-ONLY to Disarm-we don't want any accidents...one, two...three!"

Malfoy had started on "two" and Harry felt as though he'd been struck over the head with a saucepan. He forced himself to focus, though, and managed a "Rictusemptra" at Malfoy, causing him to begin wheezing after a jet of light struck him.

Harry paused, feeling it would be unfair to send another hex at Malfoy while he was down, but Malfoy had no such scruples, and his next hex sent Harry's legs began jerking wildly.

Thankfully, in a rare display of sense, Lockhart yelled, "Stop, stop!"

But it was Severus's "finite!" that set Harry's legs right. Unfortunately, it also ended the Tickling Hex Harry had sent at Malfoy.

It seemed that they had gotten off rather easy. Harry could hear Lockhart telling Miss Fawcet to pinch it and it would stop bleeding. Even Ron and Hermione looked disheveled, although Ron considerably more so.

Lockhart determined that now was the time to teach the students how to block unfriendly spells, then called for volunteers.

Severus spoke immediately, volunteering Harry and Malfoy. Harry tried to look angry but determined, while they'd prepared for this for the past week.

"Now, Harry," Lockhart began, "when Draco points his wand at you, you do this!"

He attempted the complicated motion Harry had long since mastered, but proceeded to drop his wand. Harry wasn't worried, but knew he better not appear too confident. Anyway, this was Malfoy...the cheater...

"Scared?" the Slytherin muttered.

"You wish!" Harry retorted, also quietly enough that it would be unlikely that Lockhart would overhear.

"Three-two-one-go!"

Harry had been expecting Malfoy to start early, but blocking evidently didn't work before the caster began. As a result, when Malfoy bellowed, "Serpensortia!" a long, black snake emerged from his wand.

It had emerged mid air, and likely was angry by the time it hit the floor. The snake raised itself, clearly ready to strike. The crowd closest to the stage backed away, which likely would have been sensible, but several people screamed-which likely only aggravated the snake further.

Harry froze, hoping the snake wouldn't approach him or his friends. Lockhart--now, that wouldn't be so bad-not to kill him outright, of course-but maybe a bite bad enough to land him in the Hospital Wing for the next week or so...but its eyes were now on Harry.

"Don't move, Potter," Snape spoke, calmly. "I'll get rid of it."

Despite his seemingly undisturbed tone, Harry knew better, and found himself a bit more at ease. His demeanor was obviously meant to not further aggravate the snake, Snape was a teacher who would be reprimanded if he let a student get injured in front of the entire school...and above all, he was Harry's guardian. No, the worst that would happen was Malfoy was one up on Harry...

"Allow me!" Lockhart shouted, brandishing his own wand at the snake.

There was a bang, but instead of vanishing, the fraud of a teacher merely started the snake: it flew a good ten feet in the air, fell angrily-and landed in front of Justin Finch-Fletchey.

Worse, its fangs were exposed and it was clearly ready to strike.

Harry acted without thinking. Racing towards the snake, he yelled, "You leave him alone!"

Oddly enough, the snake immediately slumped to the floor, entirely...docile. While the snake stared at Harry, he knew that it would attack no one, now.

Harry glanced at Justin, expecting something like relief or even gratitude, but the boy looked no less scared than before.

Angry, too.

"What do you think you're playing at?" he shouted. Then, before Harry could open his mouth, Justin raced out of the Great Hall.

Snape stepped forward, then, and made the snake disappear. He glanced at Harry coldly, then made the slightest motion with his head. If he didn't pull Harry aside right away, he would be expecting him in his quarters that night.

Not that Harry minded...but he still couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. He'd stopped the snake, hadn't he?

"Come on," Ron muttered, pulling at Harry's robes. "Let's go..."

"But-"

"Let's GO, Harry!"

As they made their way from the Great Hall, Harry noticed how everyone stepped aside from them. Like he was the snake. His stomach sank as he wondered what Severus would say once Harry was in his quarters...

Once in the Gryffindor tower, Ron pushed Harry into a squashy armchair.

"You're a parselmouth," he said. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I'm a what?"

"A parselmouth," Ron repeated. "It means you can talk to snakes!"

Harry thought of the boa constrictor he'd spoken to at Dudley's birthday zoo outing.

"Oh...well...it's only the second time I've done it." Harry promptly relayed what had happened at the zoo.

"A boa constrictor told you it had never seen Brazil?" Ron repeated.

Harry swallowed hard. "I'm guessing not many people here can do it?"

"Almost no one. Harry, this is bad..."

"But I stopped the snake from attacking Justin!" Harry said, hotly. "Didn't you hear what I was telling it?"

"No, we only heard you speaking another language," Hermione explained, mildly. "We had no idea what you were saying."

"Yeah, just sounded like crazy hissing. Almost like you were egging it on," Ron said.

"But didn't you all notice that the snake left Justin alone after I spoke to it?" Harry growled.

They shrugged.

"Snape-Professor Snape-made the snake disappear right afterwards," Hermione pointed out. "I expect what most people saw-what stuck-was your talking to it, Harry. Not what you might or might not have said..."

Harry sighed loudly. "Great, just great."

"Also," Ron went on, "Salazar Slytherin could talk to snakes. It's why the house symbol is a serpent. And with the Chamber of Secrets having opened..."

"They might think you're the heir," Hermione whispered.

"I'm not the heir!"

"As he lived over a thousand years ago, you might be," Ron remarked. "Not that we think you Petrified Filch's cat or anything, mate..."

"What can I do?" Harry grumbled. "Aside from corner Justin tomorrow in Herbology and explain it all?"

"Expect a lot of stares and whispers, I expect." Hermione looked grim. "On the bright side, with everyone leaving for the holidays the day after tomorrow, it might all be old news before long."

"Yeah. Maybe," Ron allowed, but he sounded dubious.

Harry stood. "I'm pretty sure Severus wants to see me about this. As it's past curfew, I better grab my dad's cloak. See you tomorrow?"

They nodded, and Harry noticed they hadn't offered to go with him...

Harry hadn't bothered to change out of his school robes, just pulled the cloak over his head. If Severus was truly furious at Harry, he'd sneak back to the tower. If not, or if he wanted Harry to stay over regardless (probably to keep an eye on me...make sure I don't have a long chat with other snakes roaming along the corridors, he thought darkly), he had spare robes and night shirts in his bedroom there.

It wasn't strictly necessary to knock, but Harry did so anyway. Sev-Snape-the teacher was already in his office, seated at his desk. Some parchment sat in front of him, but he didn't start at the noise. He merely rose, opened the door, and stepped aside.

"Kindly remove that infernal cloak once we're in my quarters, as I don't fancy speaking to the air," he said, tone indecipherable, opening the door to his quarters.

"Yes, sir," Harry murmured, following him inside.

Obediently, as soon as the door was closed, he removed the cloak, keeping the silvery garment in his arms.

Severus's face softened immediately, the taut lines relaxing. He took a deep breath, placed his hands on Harry's shoulders, then drew him into a hug. Harry let out a breath, then latched his hands onto the man's robes, still clinging to the invisibility cloak, and they remained like that for several moments.

When he finally let go, his guardian placed an arm around Harry's shoulders and guided him onto the couch, where he promptly joined him, sitting close.

"So." He spoke in a measured tone. "You can speak to snakes."

"Yes, sir-"

"Not outside of lessons or the school environment, Harry," Severus interrupted, speaking gently, now. "Even if you perceive me to be angry...which I am not...I still wish you to call me something to denote our familiar terms."

Harry drew in a breath. "Okay. Er, you promise?"

He squeezed Harry's shoulders. "I promise. I must know, however, if you intentionally neglected to tell me about your ability...for any reason at all...and that would not change my answer. I merely wish to understand, child."

Harry shook his head, settling himself just a bit closer to Severus. "I didn't hide it from you, Dad. But it wasn't the first time. I spoke to a snake once before...accidentally set it loose on my cousin." Snape snorted. "But I reckon I forgot about it since then," he muttered. "Stupid, I know..."

"If you only ever utilized this talent once, and I imagine there were severe consequences?" When Harry winced, Severus wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders. "I can understand why you might forget about it."

Harry took in another deep breath. "Yeah."

"I will say," Severus added with a chuckle, "that hidden talents have a way of surfacing at quite inopportune times."

Harry grinned. When his guardian put it like that..."Like when you're trying to save your classmate from getting his head bitten off?"

"Precisely." Severus now drew Harry close, wrapping his other arm around him. "The way trouble follows you, my lion, we can't expect for me to have found out while you were having a friendly conversation with a garden snake during the summer holidays. It simply must take place in front of the student body, just before it's about to strike out at a fellow student. When you rushed towards the creature and began hissing, of all things..."

Harry laughed, imagining the whole thing from Severus's point of view, and even his guardian managed a chuckle. Sitting together, discussing it calmly in their quarters, and not being treated as a freak--it was sort of funny. But Harry sobered quickly.

"Now, the whole school knows," Harry said, dully, "and Ron...he told me this was bad because not many people can talk to snakes, but Salazar Slytherin could."

"So I've heard," Severus agreed, "While, having never personally met the man, I can't verify this. Historical documents do seem to be in agreement, including several letters written by Salazar himself."

"D-do you think we're related? Him and me?"

"All pure blood families are distantly related. But no, I very much doubt that the Potters intermarried with the Slytherins, or rather their descendants. It is more likely..." Severus paused. "You may not like this theory, but I briefly spoke with the headmaster this evening, and he agrees with my theory."

"Are you going to say I'm part snake?" Harry half joked.

Severus snorted. "Goodness, no. But...the Dark Lord was a descendant of Salazar Slytherin, through his mother, and he could communicate with snakes. When he met his downfall by you, Harry, he likely transferred some of his...abilities...to you."

Harry wondered if being part snake would have been better.

"But...I don't want them!"

Severus ran a hand up and down Harry's back.

"Abilities in and of themselves are neither good nor bad, but what you do with them. I saw the serpent retreat after you spoke, and while I can't understand Parseltongue, I have more sense than most of the student body. As well as at least one of the adults," he added, dryly. "Unless the snake was disobedient and I have greatly misunderstood your character, child, it was evident that you were not telling him to kill your classmate in a slow and painful manner."

Harry huffed a laugh. "I just told the snake to leave Justin alone."

Severus inclined his head. "And the snake obeyed without hesitation. It went entirely docile. Perhaps that's a part of the ability to communicate with snakes...I would have to research it. Or Miss Granger will do us the honors," he added, ironically. "Were it not for the...excitement, I believe the student body would not have erupted so. Even Draco Malfoy asked me if you should have been in Slytherin, and if that will change, now."

"What did you tell him?" Harry asked, quietly.

"That the hat sees all of your abilities and makes its decision at that point. There has never been, nor will there ever be, a second Sorting for the same student," Severus answered. "Besides, while it would be more convenient for us if you resided in Slytherin, you are entirely a Gryffindor."

"That's the only reason I would want to change houses, if it were possible," Harry admitted. "I'm...sort of glad it isn't."

"No doubt," Severus answered, rather dryly. He glanced at the clock. "It's time we prepared for bed-we can speak more, if you wish, after you're settled in for the night."

Harry didn't argue, partly because he knew it would do no good, but mostly because Severus wasn't shutting him down...just changing the location. Besides, changing into a night shirt and getting into his warm bed sounded nice.

When Severus entered Harry's room several moments later, he was carrying a nondescript book.

"Before we continue with our previous discussion," Severus began. "I have spent some time looking into methods of communication through long distances that do not require owls, the Floo network, or other forms of ongoing magic."

Harry now remembered his guardian was going to look into ways for them to keep in touch during his two weeks at the Dursleys, and he smiled.

"That's right..."

Severus, dressed in a black night shirt, sat himself beside Harry, and placed the book in front of both of them. "I believe this option would be the least complicated."

"A book?"

Severus tousled his hair. "How very Ravenclaw of you," he teased. "Matching books. Mine is in the sitting room. Each one responds only to the hand and handwriting of the intended user, so if you will..." He made the sign of placing his hand over the book, and Harry followed-touching the book, which glowed and warmed in his hand. "You'll do that before using it each time. You don't need your wand. You can even write using Muggle writing instruments, should you choose. When you're finished, tap twice with your hand, and mine will warm and glow, just as yours did."

"And you see what I wrote?" Harry grinned. "Cool!"

Severus chuckled. "Now, if I do-or you, on your part-fail to open it within a few minutes, it will continue with increasing warmth. Not to the point of setting one hand's on fire, and any pain vanishes as soon as you open the book." Severus placed the book on the table beside Harry's bed. "I believe it will be a useful way of communicating, both during the beginning of summer holidays, and here."

Harry ran a hand over the cover. "Does it ever run out of paper?"

"No, and the most recent message appears on the first pages, so there's no need to search for our latest correspondence," Severus promised, wrapping an arm around Harry. "I thought we'd try tomorrow, even though I expect to see you after lessons. Simply to become acquainted with it."

"I like it. But, Dad, if the Dursleys lock everything up again..."

"I haven't forgotten my promise to teach you to pick a Muggle lock, though I hope it won't be necessary. I plan to be increasingly stern with your relatives." Severus began to card Harry's hair. "If more than two consecutive days pass without communication from you, child, I will be at the house in the dead of night. Yes, I would aim to be as conspicuous as possible."

Harry laughed at the idea. "Almost wish you would anyway."

"We'll see how they treat you this summer," Severus promised.

"Fair enough." Harry smiled, glancing down at the book. "Thank you for this. It will be cool to get practice, even though the summer is ages away..."

"I've never been one to put tasks off." Severus continued to card Harry's hair. "And it would be practical for us to be able to communicate quickly when we're not in close proximity. Particularly if you wish to visit after curfew, and I happen to be on duty for patrolling the corridors."

Like pen pals, in a way. The thought made Harry smile slightly.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"It was really cool how you Disarmed Lockhart!"

Severus actually snickered. "One of the more enjoyable parts of the demonstration, for myself at any rate. I could hardly say as much for him." They both laughed at that. "My house was particularly impressed."

"Ron and I wanted to cheer, too, but..."

"Yes, it would have appeared entirely out of character for the two of you. I expect there were other students who were not entirely certain as to who to cheer for, in that event." Severus's voice, while dry, showed warmth.

"I was really annoyed when he said you had a 'tiny' bit of talent," Harry admitted.

"Typical of him, really. Any time he must admit that any other staff member--or student--shows true skill, he downplays it as well as he can."

"Like calling me a useful Seeker and suggesting I go to him for tips?"

"Quite. The fool probably couldn't manage to fly ten yards without falling off a broomstick," Severus scoffed.

"Say...when you Disarming in a duel, does the other person usually go flying?"

"Not if they're competent." He laughed. "Besides, the witches or wizards are far more skilled at blocking spells than your...teacher. Perhaps, one day, I'll be able to accompany you to a match." Severus smiled, rather darkly. "I admit, I rather used more force than was strictly necessary for the desired result."

"I didn't mind, Dad. Don't think most of the school did, either."

"I expect not." Severus laughed again.

"So...what's the worst thing Disarming can do to your opponent?"

"Knock them out entirely. Certainly within my skill set, but reviving your teacher and setting him to rights would have taken up precious time. I acted with some restraint," Severus explained.

"Too bad...but I reckon it was the best thing to do...still, you'd have been a far better teacher than he is." Harry yawned. "I doubt I'll learn anything from his lessons except not to let a bunch of pixies loose upon my friends."

"A valuable lesson, indeed." When Harry began to yawn, Severus adjusted the covers over him. "Sweet dreams, child."

"You too, Dad."