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It starts out innocently enough with a video Jackie sends them the morning after Thanksgiving. At least, Ilya assumes it’s going to be innocent. Their nieces and nephew, probably all smartly dressed for the holiday and smiling.
What he actually sees however, is their three little nieces on roller skates, absolutely kicking the shit out of a man who quickly crumples to the ground, thanks to a swift shot to the back of the legs with a hockey stick, delivered by the one and only Ruby Pike.
Ilya heard and saw the conversation that lead to this reaction but he has long since let go of whatever homophobic bullshit comes out of people’s mouths. His little nieces however, seem to have taken great offense on Ilya's behalf. He’s hit with a sudden rush of adoration for them, that’s not to say that he doesn’t love them to pieces any other day of the year but, this is different.
He knows the kids love him but, this is just a reminder that he has a family now, this is definitely a moment that makes Ilya wish he could go back in time and tell a younger version of himself to hold on, that one day they’ll marry the very boring boy with pretty freckles, that they have a loving and accepting family and hockey team waiting for them in Canada.
Ilya decides he must buy them presents as a tribute, he likes setting the standards high. The kids shouldn’t settle for anything less than what they deserve and to Ilya, they deserve the world. As an added bonus, the ridiculous gifts get a rise out of Hayden Pike.
What to get them is the question. They’ve already begun purchasing Christmas gifts, all off of Shane’s very carefully researched and crafted list. These tributes have to blow Christmas out of the water. He takes being the “Favorite Uncle” very seriously, after all.
Ilya watches the video again and tries to think of the kinds of things the kids have talked about recently. He prefers buying them something that is both ridiculously expensive and something they actually want. Then it hits him, Ruby and Jade have been talking about Taylor Swift’s Era’s Tour nonstop. Pike claimed tickets had been impossible to get but Ilya is very good at making “impossible” things very possible.
Later, when Shane returns from his walk with Anya, he proudly shows off the video. Their nieces are fierce and their technique is impeccable. Ilya’s very boring husband begins a lecture about how they “shouldn’t encourage the girls to commit violence” but he's only half listening as he opens their laptop and fires off a very politely worded email to Miss Taylor Swift’s team.
“Tiny ladies defended my honor, I must pay tribute, it is law” Ilya says as an explanation as he finishes and sends the email.
“Ilya, I don’t even know music but, even I know those tickets are impossible to get” Shane tries to reason as he fills Anya’s dish with water, adding exactly three ice cubes just the way she likes it.
“Once upon a time, we were impossible too and either way, Miss Taylor Swift is old friend,” Ilya says, waving his husband’s protests away.
“Taylor Swift is an old friend?” Shane asked, almost scoffing in disbelief at the claim.
“Wait, is that the Taylor that sent us a sourdough starter and an ice cream maker as a wedding present?” He added, raising an eyebrow.
“Ugh, Hollander you know starter is called Dough-thea,” Ilya corrected as he began looking at hotel rooms in Vancouver and Toronto.
“You know I don’t know what that means,” Shane argued, throwing his hands up in frustration.
“We will have tiny ladies and tiny gentleman over for sleepover, we will plan outfits and bake Miss Swift’s chai sugar cookies” Ilya said simply, ignoring his husband’s antics with a wave of his hand.
“Outfits?” Shane echoed, becoming more confused by the second.
“Yes, we dress up as Eras, is big deal Hollander, ask internet” Ilya explained, already becoming engrossed by his research.
“How do you even know this woman?” Shane asked as he went to take one of his prepped meals out of the fridge.
“It was during Speak Now Tour, I see her in club being harassed by stupid, ugly man. I help her sneak out of club, is late so I take her for Russian food and vodka, then I make sure she gets home to hotel safely” Ilya explained, recounting the tale in the same voice someone pleasant would inform you of the weather.
“As Supreme Overlord, Miss Taylor Swift says, in a world of boys, be a gentleman” Ilya said leaning across their kitchen island to give Shane a kiss.
“And from there, if we were ever in the same area at the same time we would have dinner, she would tell me about terrible boyfriends and I would tell her about beautiful, boring Canadian boy with freckles,” he added simply.
The call comes in a week later at one of their now mandatory post-practice family dinners. Ilya is expecting a simple email from the management team, with a “Yes” or “No” not, a FaceTime call from the lady herself. Ilya answers it without a second thought.
“Miss Swift, Hello” He greets with a smile, holding out his phone so she can see him properly.
“Roz, who the fuck are you talking to?” Someone chirps from across the table and then, everyone else is turning their attention toward their captain and joining in.
“Behave, there is a lady present” Ilya scolds, drawing his attention away from his phone screen for a moment.
“I apologize, Hockey boys are raised in caves, no manners” Ilya said as he turned his attention back to the blonde woman.
“Raised in caves?” Someone echoes.
“Yes, Scott Hunter’s rookie card is actually unearthed cave painting” Ilya returns with a wave of his hand
He ignores the boys and instead, turns his full attention to the pretty blonde singer on his screen, quickly explaining with quite a bit of pride, his reason for the request.
All in all, it’s a short conversation and it ends with five concert tickets and a meet and greet secured. After that, Ilya gets to planning how exactly he’ll pull off what he hopes will be the surprise of a lifetime.
By the time Ilya fully tunes back in, he’s lost the thread of the conversation but all the attention is on Luca and they’re teasing him about something. Playing keep away with his phone while the “Baby” of the team complains and makes fruitless attempts to get it back.
“Baby brother has a boyfriend” someone teases in sing-song and that makes Ilya’s head snap up and his attention zero in on Luca.
Luca with a boyfriend, Luca who’s still incredibly shy and blushes and stammers when beautiful people hit on him in clubs. Luca who sticks close to the group, always in someone’s line of sight. Luca, who Ilya has never seen go home with a stranger. Hell, they had to teach the kid how to chirp properly, he hadn’t wanted to be “too mean”.
Luca’s face floods a dark crimson color and he sinks into his chair at the table. “He’s not my boyfriend” he mutters, crossing his arms and pouting a bit at the teasing.
“So just a hook up then, oh secret meet-ups, just like Dads…how sweet” Lapointe teases.
Someone else grabs the phone, pressing on a contact that Ilya can’t see and then bringing it up to their ear to probably try and hear the secret boyfriend’s voice.
A moment later the phone is lowered, all the color drained out of the face of the person that holds it. “Dude, you can’t sleep with him, it’s practically incest” the accusation burns bright despite the absurdity of it and Ilya’s interest is piqued.
Ilya stands from the table finally and walks over, putting an end to the squabble as he wordlessly holds his hand out for the phone. Taking it, he hits redial and holds it up to his ear, waiting for whomever is on the other end to pick up.
“Baby, what’s going on? I thought you were going to call after dinner with the team?” A voice asks. A voice that Ilya could point out is very familiar to him.
“Marly, how did you get this number and why are you calling my Rookie, Baby?” Ilya asks calmly instead, he’s calm, just the deadly kind that can be known to result in a murder.
“Dinner, next time we are in town, if you want to date our Luca, we should meet you properly” Ilya informs and then hangs up before he can get a response.
“I don’t think what Marly and Haas are doing qualifies as dating” someone pipes up, trying to break the tense silence, only to be met with a death glare from Ilya.
Ilya hands the phone back to Luca and then folds his arms over his chest, looking at the kid expectantly. He wants an explanation and he wants it now.
“I need to buy a gun” Ilya says when they’re driving home, trying to process the news they found out at dinner.
Shane sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. His husband has not taken this particular development well. He’d be amused if this wasn’t such an overreaction. Luca’s further confession hadn’t helped anything and in fact, had just made things worse.
“At our wedding, in our house, with our son” Ilya continues as they turn onto the highway.
“People hook up at weddings or so I’ve been told and Luca is for one, an adult and two, not our son” Shane tries patiently. God, he wishes they could go back to talking about the concert and the mystery blonde famous woman that his husband is good friends with, apparently.
“Plus, Cliff is your friend” Shane tries to reason, he’ll do anything to get Ilya to stop talking about this.
“Friends do not date your children” Ilya said simply, refusing to budge on the issue.
“He did not even ask permission, it is what a nice boy would do, do you not want Luca to have a nice boy…you want him to be unhappy, you hate our son?” Ilya questions dramatically as they walk into the house.
Shane refuses to even dignify that with a response.
Three days later the Luca incident is not forgotten but Ilya has more important things to focus on. Like driving to Montreal and revealing the surprise to his nieces and nephew.
In the passenger seat, sits four identical gold glittery gift bags, each containing a multitude of sweets and snacks, each one is color-coordinated to one of Taylor Swift’s albums. Alongside the treats are mock-ups of their tickets, designed with the help of Harris and printed on sturdy, colorful cardstock.
Ilya parks in the driveway and grabs the four gift bags before going to the door. He knows everyone is home, having texted Jackie before even starting the drive. He still does not understand what such a beautiful woman sees in the former fifteenth best Montreal player.
He knocks on the front door, pushing past Hayden and calling for his nieces and nephew before Pike can even ask what exactly he’s doing there.
“Jackie sends me video, I bring very special surprise as reward” Ilya explains after he has all the kids settled on the couch and they each have a gift bag.
“What, I don’t get a reward?” Hayden asks, mostly teasing.
“You do not get reward for protecting family, is what big brothers are supposed to do” Ilya says simply with a dismissive wave of his hand as he gives his full attention to the kids while they open the gift bags.
“Uncle Ilya, is this…real?” Ruby asks, holding up the placeholder ticket in disbelief.
“Well, tickets are in email but, yes we are going to Eras Tour” Ilya says with a nod and then is almost knocked off his feet as all four children shriek in delight and rush to hug him.
Soon enough, the kids drag Ilya off to plan outfits and decide on their “Eras” Hayden has no idea what that means but the kids are thrilled so he can’t help but be thrilled for them.
He walks into the kitchen and finds Jackie setting an extra place at the table. When she finishes, she turns and smiles at him before walking over and placing a surprise kiss on his cheek.
“What was that for?” He asked, wrapping an arm around her and savoring the small window of alone time they had.
“For being such a good big brother, it’s cute,” Jackie said simply.
“He was talking about me and Shane, Jack” Hayden felt the need to point out.
“Right, of course he was, Shane is why you got so upset at Thanksgiving, no other reason” Jackie agreed, though disbelief laced every word.
“He probably doesn’t even know what he said” Hayden pointed out, grabbing two wine glasses as Jackie began opening a bottle.
“Which makes it even more true, he wasn’t filtering himself for once…congratulations babe, it’s another baby brother” Jackie says, kissing her husband again before pouring the wine.
“Who are you going to trust, husband of mine, your gut or the woman who figured out who “Boston Lily” was within six months of you first mentioning the texts” She adds with a wink.
“You’re ridiculous” Hayden returns, brushing off the words not because they’re wrong but because they hit too close to home.
“Says the man who offered to get ordained and marry them himself” Jackie calls over her shoulder as she begins carrying dinner to the table.
Hayden goes to get the kids for dinner and finds the four of them sprawled out in the playroom with Ilya, making what looks to be very detailed drawings of some sort.
“Not drawings, sketches daddy” Jade corrects with a huff when he asks, while attempting to corral them toward the dinner table.
“I’m going to be a puppy,” Arthur informs proudly as they all sit down. “A keyed-line green puppy” he clarifies, taking his seat at the table.
“It’s Key-lime green, Artie” Ruby corrects with a sigh.
“Wait…we have to make like four Halloween costumes for this thing?” Hayden asks in disbelief.
That only gets a dramatic gasp from the twins and two matching withering glares. “Halloween-“ Jade starts and then stops, as if Hayden had just said the most offensive thing.
“Daddy, this is not “Halloween” this is the Eras Tour. It is the most important night of our lives, probably ever” She adds, explaining it slowly like Hayden is too dumb to understand.
“I will make costumes, put hockey boys to work it is good activity for…enrichment” Ilya says, waving the worries away.
After dinner and helping Jackie to clean up, Ilya bids the family goodbye with the sketches and Jackie’s sewing machine secured. It’s on loan and Ilya had promised to return it and the kids after the concert.
On their next day off, Ilya drags Shane to every fabric store and craft supplies store they can find, commandeering the stacks of fabrics and brandishing the sketches like a weapon.
“Shane, did you know you can buy rhinestones and sequins by the pound?” He asks while debating the quality of fabrics and the exact hue of the red sequins needed for Jade’s “Rep” bodysuit.
“Has Arthur’s puppy costume been delivered yet?” He asks while debating multiple fabric dyes that all proclaim themselves to be “Key-Lime Green”. In the end, he buys every one he finds and decides to test strips of fabric at home to figure out which color is actually best.
Ilya ends up spending so much time at the local fabric store that he somehow ingratiates himself with the sewing circle of older ladies who gather there and gets himself invited for coffee and bookclub.
One afternoon, Shane comes home from a brand meeting and finds Ilya and two older women he’s never seen before pouring over fabric samples and design patterns.
“Shane, this is Mable and Debbie, they are lending their expertise to the costumes” Ilya shares excitedly as he introduces the two ladies.
“Ladies, this is My Shane, he is as beautiful as I said yes?” Ilya says, absolutely beaming with delight.
“Oh and Shane look, now Anya and I can match” Ilya says as he proudly holds up an Anya-sized exact replica of his Centaurs jersey.
“I invited Mable and Debbie to next game as thank you for their help” he adds, another easy smile appearing.
Shane still very much does not understand his husband’s new hobby or his new group of friends but, the more he thinks of it, he guesses it makes sense. Ilya makes friends easy. A gruff hockey-playing outside but, crack open the shell and you’d find a gooey marshmallow center.
On another day after a grueling practice, Ilya invites the team over for dinner, which is how Shane walks in on what equates to a mini sweatshop when he comes down from his shower. It’s comical really, watching a team of hockey players trying to sew very delicate, very tiny sequins onto swaths of black fabric.
Ilya is at the stove, standing guard over and occasionally stirring two large pots of something. Shane peers over his shoulder in curiosity and sees that one pot is a ghoulish green color and the other is some sort of reddish-brown muck. He surveys the room further and finds Luca splayed out in the living room, laying on his stomach while he covers a pair of riding boots in rhinestones that are in varying shades of pinks and blues.
There’s a music video playing on the tv that Bood and Dillon are studying more intensely than Shane has ever seen them look at game tape before. At the kitchen table, another group is working on sewing sequins while debating who is worse “Mayer or Gyllenhaal”, whatever the hell that even means.
“Ah, yes the beads are here, watch this for a second,moya lyubov” Ilya says, handing the utensil he was using to stir the pots over to Shane before rushing to the door.
“Beads?” Shane asks, confusion evident as Ilya comes back with an armful of packages.
“Yes, for friendship bracelets” Ilya says simply as he deposits the stack of deliveries on the coffee table.
“Friendship bracelets?” Shane asked, even more confused and now wishing he hadn’t asked in the first place.
“Yes, you know from the song…friendship bracelet is now, Swiftie currency" Ilya explains with a wave of his hand as he opens the packages and pulls out multiple packs of jewelry making kits.
Shane absolutely does not know the song but he'll take his husband’s word for it.
“Oh, and I got cookie recipe, the real one, Miss Swift gave to me after 1989 secret sessions” Ilya says as if he’s ticking things off of a list.
Luca pauses, the pair of tweezers he has in his hand still hold a pink rhinestone in their clutches. “Secret…you’ve been to secret sessions” he asks, mouth dropping open in utter disbelief.
“Yes, is shame that she can’t do them anymore, the kids would like” Ilya answers thoughtfully.
“That’s the blue one, right?” Shane asks as he collapses on the couch.
Soon enough, the talk turns to what they should order for dinner and the solution to the argument that ensues is to blindly reach into the kitchen’s junk drawer and pick a menu at random. One question is all it takes for absolute hell to break loose.
“Luca, do you want your usual?” Young calls out, currently writing their order down on a piece of notebook paper.
“Uh…oh no, I can’t stay, I've got a date” Luca says, distracted by his rhinestone placement.
“That can not be possible, I told him no” Ilya says slowly, turning his full attention toward their rookie.
“Ilya” Shane starts warningly, narrowing his eyes at his husband.
“Have him pick you up here, he wants to date our baby brother, have to make sure he’s good enough” Dillon says, clapping Luca on the back.
“Do I have to remind you that I’m twenty five, I’m allowed to date” Luca argues, setting aside his project for now.
“Twenty five…did not even take your mama on dates at twenty five” Ilya returns, waving away the argument.
“Your..How the fuck did I become the mom in this convulated family tree?” Shane asks, jumping up from his place on the couch.
“Well, I am Papa obviously” Ilya says, placing a hand on his chest.
“It is accurate, you are the mom friend of the group” LaPointe cuts in.
“I am not” Shane argues, glaring at the team.
“See, patented mom-look right there” Young says, going as far as to literally point it out.
“Don’t point, it’s rude” Shane scolds automatically.
“Oh my god, you reverse baby-trapped him with an entire hockey team and a dog” someone realizes, covering their mouth to stifle a laugh.
“I am not the mom friend” Shane protested again
“You keep our favorite snacks in the house even though you’d never touch that crap and last month, you not only scheduled Dillion’s wisdom teeth removal but drove him to the appointment and let him sleep in the guest room for two days” Bood argues.
“Was I supposed to just let him get an infection and die? there were open wounds in his mouth, would you like it if I let them get septic?” Shane said, unconsciously letting his hands settle on his hips.
Everyone turned to stare at Shane in response.
“I am afraid you just proved the children’s point, kotonok” Ilya pointed out apologetically as he kissed his husband’s cheek.
“That..that’s not, Luca’s dating” Shane reminded, feeling flustered with all the attention on him.
“Do you guys think this is like my first date ever?” Luca asks, tilting his head in confusion before adding, “You’re all going to lose it when you find out I’m a whore” under his breath.
“Alexa, add “Kill Marly” to my to-do list” Ilya commands through gritted teeth.
“You walked right into that one, kid” Shane offers with a shrug when Luca just turns a helpless gaze on him.
“Ilya, you can’t kill him, he’s your friend” Shane argued patiently.
“It is on list, I am just following list like you always say,” Ilya argued back.
“This family makes me want murder people” Luca bemoaned as he flopped onto his back on the living room rug.
“I will call Marly and invite him for dinner here” Ilya says, walking into the kitchen.
“No…actually, I changed my mind, kill me instead” Luca told them as he stood up from the floor.
“Sorry kiddo, have to make sure he’s good enough,” Bergy says, ruffling Luca’s hair playfully.
“He is not” Ilya answers, deadpan in his delivery.
“Ilya, for the love of god it’s just a date” Shane cut in, finally throwing his arms up in exasperation.
“Sure mom but, the least Marly can do is come pick Luca up at the door and introduce himself to the family, like a gentleman” Holmberg pointed out, just to see how far they could push this.
“Yes, you see this is why Bergy is my new favorite child,” Ilya declared proudly.
“So, I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’m definitely the “controversially young chaos uncle” of the family” Bood cut in.
“What? I’m too old to be your child, despite the fact that the two of you have been fucking like rabbits for the last decade and a half” he pointed out.
“Bood, we’re adopted, no way in hell Hollander keeps an unplanned pregnancy” Young argues, like he has a valid point, like any of this conversation makes any sense.
“Yeah Bood, in this family we support a person’s right to choose” Troy chirped as he continued working intently on sewing sequins onto a garment.
“I’d totally drive you to the clinic Hollzy, one of those nice boutique ones too” Troy continues as he holds a needle and thread between his teeth.
“Umm…thank you, I think?” Shane returns with a look of confusion as he takes a ginger ale out of the fridge.
Luca shot up from the floor when the chime of the bell rang out, rushing to the door before anyone else could. He very much liked his boyfriend and didn’t want any of his “Big Brothers” scaring him away.
He glanced at himself in the hallway mirror, frowning a bit, worn out jeans and a crewneck sweatshirt weren’t exactly “date night” attire.
Luca had planned to go home and shower, change into something nice and then spend a long evening with his boyfriend but, no, the family just had to get involved and now he had to spend what was sure to be a very long, very painful dinner with them.
“I’m sorry, I am so sorry, I couldn’t stop them” Luca apologized in a rush as soon as he opened the door and saw Cliff standing there, he looked good too. Damn his family and their cock-blocking ways.
“It’s fine Honey, had to meet the family eventually, right?” Cliff asked, kissing his boyfriend and then pulling away to wipe a stray rhinestone off Luca’s cheek,
The younger man pouts, resisting the urge to point out that his boyfriend has already met the team, multiple times in fact, both professional settings and not.
Luca would like it noted for the record that dinner was very much not fine. Ilya glares at Cliff the entire time and every time Luca tries to get close to his boyfriend, a brother appears to slot themselves between the couple and take their turn interrogating. Even Anya joins in, settling herself between them when they end up on the couch together.
Though, a part of him knows he’s lucky. A lot of people went through hell to pave the way so that he didn’t have to hide his relationship. So yes, he’s grateful and he finds his very loving, aggressively supportive family very annoying.
“Nobody is killing anybody” Shane says from where he’s sorting out Chinese takeout containers in the kitchen.
“Right, fine…what about maim or seriously injure, if he hurts Luca can we maim or seriously injure?” Troy asks, grabbing plates and cutlery.
“I know people with a pig farm, pigs will eat anything and if there’s no body, there’s no crime,” Harris chimes in.
“Yes…yes, just like Miss Swift says” Ilya agrees excitedly.
“Enough, if you all don’t start being nice to Luca’s boyfriend, you’re all doing bag-skates next practice” Shane warns as he scoops food into serving dishes.
“Geez, mom is strict” Dillion complains under his breath, only to be rewarded with a glare from Shane and an elbow in the ribs by Troy.
The week leading up to the concert, Ilya puts the final touches on all the costumes and then, slowly begins converting their second spare bedroom into a dressing room.
“Sveta says getting ready together is part of the girlhood experience” he offers when Shane inquires about the rearranging of their furniture.
“You and Arthur aren’t girls” Shane points out as Ilya moves in a clothing rack on wheels and begins hanging up all five outfits.
“Yes but, tiny ladies may make an exception just because it is special night” Ilya says with a shrug as he sets out hair styling tools on a make-shift vanity.
“I do not think the girls will mind, we are appreciating the culture, not appropriating it” He adds thoughtfully, lining up bottles of nail polish and a variety of age-appropriate lip glosses.
“You know you don’t have to do this, the kids love you because you’re you, not because of what you can do for them” Shane points out gently.
“I want to, you have given me a crazy, beautiful, unconventional family moya lyubov and, I want to share experiences and make good memories with them” Ilya said, as he turned to pull Shane into his arms.
“I’m sure the kids will love it” Shane promises, relaxing under his husband’s touch.
“Yes, will be best night ever and I will be favorite uncle once and for all” Ilya says, adding the last part just as a way to needle Shane
“You want to try and explain the costumes to me, one more time?” Shane asks, smiling a bit at the way Ilya’s face immediately lights up.
Ilya takes Shane’s hand and drags him over to the clothing rack, where everything is hung up and waiting for the big night.
“This is Jade’s, a replica of what Miss Swift wears during the "Reputation" portion of the evening” He explains, holding up the black bodysuit with a design made out of red sequins.
“That’s the one with the snakes, right?” Shane asks, frowning in thought as he tries to pair the outfit to the album.
“Yes, this one is Arthur’s” Ilya says, continuing to go down the line as he picks up the puppy costume that’s now been dyed an acceptable shade of Key-Lime green.
“And that’s the one about the house or something” Shane remembers as they make their way through all the costumes and their relevance.
Amber’s costume is the simplest. She’s apparently going to be something called a “Junior Jewel” inspired by a particular music video for the “Fearless Era” as Ilya had gone on to explain.
Ruby’s costume is also on the simpler side, according to Ilya she’ll be dressed up as Sadie Sink, playing Taylor Swift in “All Too Well:The Short Film” and just like that, Shane is lost again.
Ilya’s outfit was by far the most time consuming. It’s modeled after a fairy-tale prince costume in shades of pink and pastel blues, as a nod to its correlating album apparently. It even has a matching cape, trimmed in faux fur and those weird little tassel-y things on the shoulders, though Ilya’s are heart-shaped and bedazzled. Not to mention the matching rhinestone-covered riding boots he’ll wear and of course to complete the look, a crown.
“And I am “The Heartbreak Prince” from Lover, of course” Ilya explains with a knowing smirk before he leans in to kiss Shane.
The kids arrive the night before the concert, in a flurry of chaos and bright smiles. Shane still really doesn’t “get it” but, it’s hard not to be pulled into the infectious excitement. Mostly through, he’s the picture taker. Ilya and the kids baking cookies, Ilya and the kids sitting on the living room floor while all five of them feed beads onto strings and create an ever growing pile of friendship bracelets.
“Uncle Shane, can you change the song please? This is not ”Taylor’s Version” Ruby says, pausing suddenly as her head snaps up and she scrutinizes the music for a moment.
“Yeah, we aren’t listening to the originals out of solidarity, that man stole her life Uncle Shane” Jade pipes in.
“Did not even give Miss Swift opportunity to buy music back herself, it is shameful” Ilya agrees with a slow shake of his head as he adds more beads to a string.
“Playing the original versions is anti-feminist, do you hate women Uncle Shane?” Ruby asks as she ties off a bracelet and adds it to the pile before starting a new one.
“Yeah, are you a…a Misogynist, Uncle Shane?” Amber adds, screwing up her face in concentration as she sounds the word out a syllable at a time.
“What, no of course I don’t hate women…where did you even hear those words?” Shane questioned, obviously flustered as a flush crept up his neck.
“We support women’s rights and women’s wrongs, Uncle Shane” Arthur offers with a dramatic sigh and a hand on Shane’s shoulder.
“I’ll be damned if we allow men to profit off of a girl’s life” Ruby throws in. Shane knows he should scold her for the language but, he has to concede that she does in fact have a point.
The next day. Concert day. They all have a bit of a lazy morning, a leisurely breakfast and chasing Anya around in the yard before it’s determined that it’s time to begin getting ready.
Shane observes from the doorway of the makeshift dressing room, only stepping in when his assistance is specifically asked for. He always likes watching Ilya with the kids. He swears they’ll have this too, one day. Not today but, hopefully soon.
He snaps a few pictures of the getting ready process and a video, Amber is singing loudly and off-key, Ruby has Arthur sitting in front of the mirror while she draws a dog nose and whiskers on his face and Jade is standing on the bed with Ilya sitting on the floor while she painstakingly pins his crown into place.
Shane sends the photos and videos off to their group chat with the women in their life, asking a simple question.
”Is this girlhood?”
Everyone hearts the message but Rose actually responds with.
“It’s a glimpse of your future babe, enjoy it❤️”
And then the first message is quickly followed by another from Rose.
”If you don’t give that poor man a baby, I swear to god Hollander”
Ilya keeps a close eye on the kids once they leave the house, constantly looking them over and doing a headcount to make sure he returns with all four children he left with. He makes sure everyone is holding someone’s hand then carefully maneuvers himself and his chain of kids through the crazy crowds to their reserved spot in the tent.
A three hour show, who knew you could have so many emotions in three hours, one moment they’re all screaming along and spinning around to the music and then everything slows down and the lights dim as it shifts into another Era.
The opening notes to a song begin playing and from the sound alone, Ilya can tell it’s one of the sad ones. A hush falls over the crowd as if some sort of unspoken rule has been enacted. This one is about her grandmother if he remembers correctly but, Ilya can only think of his mama and tries to swallow down the unexpected wave of grief.
Ilya tears his eyes away from the stage when he feels a bit of pressure in both of his hands. It’s only then that he realizes Ruby and Jade stand on either side of him, each holding a hand a silent show of support. Arthur and Amber stand in front of him, as if they’re surrounding him and attempting to make a very public moment, private.
He takes a variety of pictures throughout the night, wanting to capture any and every memory from the night. Though, Ilya is very careful of the angles he takes the pictures from, never showing the kids full faces or too many identifying marks. Sure, he knows he can’t control what other people post on the internet but, he can control what he does. He may not even post these, he’ll ask Jackie if it’s okay first.
Ilya watches in absolute wonderment as the girls scream their hearts out to “All too Well, the ten minute version. It gets to a point where he has to wonder if there are preteens out there that he may have to threaten for breaking his nieces hearts, surely they’re too young to relate to the things the song is talking about. God, when had he gotten so old.
Though he takes comfort in the fact that no matter what happens, he will never be as old as Dinosaur Scott Hunter.
When he asks Ruby about it, she explains in a tone way too calm and grown up for her age that once again, it’s about solidarity. That even if she herself can not yet relate to the lyrics, there are plenty of people here who can. She sings for them, for the girls before her and her future self. Solidarity. Girlhood.
Ilya didn’t understand, not really. He wasn’t a girl after all. Hell, he didn’t even have a relationship with the one blood sibling he did have. A part of him, the small part of him that was still childlike was a bit jealous of his nieces and nephew. They were close, an unspeakable, unbreakable bond that he assumed you could only understand if you were part of a close family yourself.
Sure, he had a close family now and he loved him with all his heart but, he had to assume there was a difference between growing up with one and finding one later in life.
They get home late. Actually, Ilya can’t recall the last time he’s been out so late. These days, he has no problem going back to the hotel with his very boring, very hot husband and letting the younger team members stumble back in before or hours after curfew.
The kids don’t make it past the couch in the living room before they collapse in a heap and decide to camp out with pillows and blankets, costumes halfway on.
Ilya at least has the decency to walk all the way to the main bedroom and crawls into bed next to Shane.
“Did you have fun?” Shane asks, glancing up from the recent game tape he’d been watching to keep himself awake.
“Yes, best night ever” Ilya says, setting the iPad aside and pulling Shane into his arms. He’s high on adrenaline right now and unfortunately, nowhere near a crash. Good thing he has a husband to annoy.
“We’ve been invited on a podcast, Miss Swift’s American Football boyfriend expressed interest in interviewing the “First Husbands of Hockey”, he seems like nice boy” Ilya offers, snuggling close.
He’s silent for a few moments, thinking things over and then, “We should have babies, lots of babies okay?” Ilya asks, tired and hopeful.
“Okay” Shane agrees easily, smiling a bit at the thought.
“Promise?” Ilya asks, his eyes slipping shut as his body relaxes in a familiar environment.
“Yeah, I promise” Shane returns quietly, pressing a kiss into his husband’s hair before reaching up to turn off his bedside lamp.