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There were a few things that Gale Dekarios was always sure of, his immense talent in arcane arts, his verbosity and proclivity for good food. The one thing he was not sure of was more of a physical concern, the fact that his derriere was not as plump as he really wished it was and his abs weren't as chiseled as he wanted.
Being an Archmage, it was only a simple incantation to snatch in what he wanted and have the voluptuous tush of his dreams. He wanted it to look like a ripe peach that would attract the attention of any of the citizens of Waterdeep. It was an easy solution, only some magical infusion into his favourite type of briefs and that was it.
It was also what he was wearing at the time of his unfortunate abduction by mindflayers and when he unfortunately got stuck in the rune because his behind threw off the aero dynamics. Having a most desirable derriere did come with its own drawbacks. Like being stuck between different planes. It was only until someone passed by and slapped his hand that he was saved. By no other than a most dashing, pale fellow with red eyes who introduced himself as Astarion.
Gale was not one to judge but the name Astarion was a bit amusing since the fellow didn't have as plush of a derriere as him. This did mean he would have to keep up appearances to keep his top position in the derriere department. He needed to have the top buns of the party, it was important for his reputation. Nobody could find out that the cake was indeed not real and just an illusion. Which they should have guessed because he is an illusion wizard.
One night in camp he was rudely interrupted by Astarion while he was checking his own posterior. Astarion denied that he was checking the goods but Gale knew better, his rump had enchanted a lot of people already. Withers had already given him an envious look, he had noticed that.
This did mean he couldn't bathe with others around because he had to remove his briefs which was a minor disturbance. He wouldn't like to smell Lae'zel who refused to bathe since she had told him that bathing was for weaklings, istik. This did mean he had to wait to bathe until the others had settled around the campfire.
This evening, he had treated himself to a long soak in the river, blissfully unaware that one sneaky rogue had spotted his enchanted briefs.
Now Astarion was no fool, he could notice that magic straight away and was curious. What could the wizard have done with underwear? He reckoned the wizard had used it to enlarge his phallus. There was no other way to test the theory but to put on Gale's briefs.
Astarion was no fool, he put them on and there was no change in his intimate area. The wizard obviously had no imagination, maybe there was another reason why they were enchanted or the briefs recognized his better phallus. Game recognizes game. There was no improving on perfection.
It was only when he put his pants on that he noticed a difference, a severe tight feeling in the butt-area. The fucking wizard had enchanted his behind. It was at that moment Astarion realized that he indeed had the most superior, natural posterior of everyone. This was an injustice he couldn't forgive and had to rectify.
"Hey Soldier, is your ass looking fatter than usual?" Karlach asked while checking out Astarion's mahoosive behind.
"Yes istik, your rump has grown. Is this usual for your race?" Lae'zel asked right as Wyll almost choked in his drink because Astarion's mesmerizing derriere.
"My Dark Lady blesses your ass, Astarion," Shadowheart added.
"Astarion? More like Asstarion am I right?" Karlach laughed while pushing her elbow in Shadowheart's ribs in excitement.
"Guess what I found just a mere moment ago?" Astarion giggled.
"What - What do you mean Asstarion, I'm Astarion." Wyll stumbled over his words while turning the same shade as Karlach. This was very great for Astarion's ego, he did indeed have the best ass that could the Blade of Frontiers blush.
"I have found a tragedy, an injustice to us all, a lie that I cannot forgive. The fucking wizard has played us all for fools. This theater of lies is something I can't keep silent about."
This was spectacular, almost like he was back in court pleading a case. He had missed this and he had missed the power trips.
"What do you mean Astarion?" Shadowheart asked while glancing, not subtle, at his derriere.
He was just going to unravel the devious plan of the wizard when said wizard appeared from the bushes, all flustered and lacking in the ass-department.
"Here is my case," Astarion said, "His ass is not real, he has tricked us into thinking that ass was real but it is fake. The cake is fake."
Gale was flabbergasted that his secret was now out in the open and slightly aroused that Astarion was wearing his underwear. He didn't what to do about that while he stared at Astarion his voluptuous tush. It was a work of art, worthy of being in a museum and it felt like he wasn't worthy to see it.
"Gale, are you okay?" Karlach asked while helpfully came and held her hand so his private parts were not out in open for everyone to see. This did not help because the sight of Astarion made his brain have nice thoughts about taking off his underwear from the vampire.
"Istik, this is something that would be severely looked upon in creche Kil'ir. Vlaakith doesn't approve of bodily enhancements that are made with magic. As Vlaakith says, you gotta work for it bitch."
"Yes Gale, is this how you seduced Mystra? And did she ever see you naked or was it all an illusion?" Astarion implied.
"Mystra and I shared bond that descended over the size of my rear, Astarion. I suppose you couldn't understand."
"Well wizard (derogatory), the jig is up. We now know your dirty secret and that your ass is not fat. And no, I am not returning the briefs. I am keeping them as your punishment."
Astarion swung his hips and walked seductively over to his own tent.
This was the most embarrassing night ever for Gale Dekarios. As he now had to walk through life without his phattie.
It was only a few months later at the reunion where he could procure his briefs again after the full out orgy at Withers reunion. Now Gale had grown in this time and knew even an itty bitty tush was also valid. So he generously donated the briefs to Withers because even a former God deserves to have a nice ass.
The end.