Archive of Our Own

Jamie hisses when the last slap makes contact with his backside. He was able to hold in all his little noises for the last six but the seventh was the icing on the cake.

The team did not hold back on the fucking jokes when it was Jamie Tartt over his boyfriend's lap getting it. His ears burn at his team's silly comments about which was redder, his face or arse.

One from holding in his pained yelps and the other from a ruthless and unforgiving hand. 

Having people gawk at your insecurities out on display would make anyone shrink, and Jamie was shrinking to a pea sized footie.

Jamie knew he had a large arse, and couldn’t help it if God gifted him with these assets. What many loved was a curse rather than a blessing to Jamie Tartt, with one of the worst days of his life being sent a meme that still haunts him now. It was an image circulating the internet of his backside being easy to pick out from the lineup, and it was fucking obvious which one was Jamie.

Jamie was ashamed of that meme as hilarious as it was. And like now, Jamie was feeling the same shame from his team gawking at him. He should be used to the stares by now with how daily of an occurrence he had his bottom smacked, though they were all warnings.

Jamie got the firm hand this time around, and not a warning. His boyfriend was all out of warning taps for Jamie this week for the stunt he pulled this morning, and brought down the bare hand that layered on top of each smack, intensifying the wildfires on Jamie's arse. Jamie had no say on his boyfriend's brutality because his boyfriend happened to be the fucking coach of his club's team.

Roy Kent.

Like everyone else, Jamie had to listen to this gaffer and take whatever was thrown at him no matter his discomfort. 

Roy's discipline wanted those to feel what they did, the burning stings a reminder of your mistakes and guilt when you look for comfort, and Jamie was fucking feeling it all right. Jamie was no stranger to his boyfriend's raining hand of discipline that he had to endure here at work and at home, something Jamie knew when he accepted the man's advances. An expert in this art form, Roy knew exactly how to get Jamie's eyes wet and tame the brattines in him, all while managing the team of fucking himbos that caused more trouble than they were worth.

And Jamie was the biggest fucking himbo on the team.

“Going to fucking behave?” Roy's tone doesn't hold any anger, and his leg starts to bounce Jamie in a rhythmic manner along with the same hand that brought the pain, now gently petting the sore bottom. It felt nice, but Jamie kept a stone face through it all. Fuck Roy Kent but also, fuck Roy Kent. 

“Or you need another fucking round, Tartt?” Roy warns, and Jamie knows he has to respond fast or else it's a fucking smack on the spots that were untouched.

Jamie swallows the lump that doesn't go down. “No, sir. Behave I will, sir. Be good, sir.” Jamie says dryly.

“Good.” Roy has his hand out and Will places a bottle of cream on the open palm without needing to be told.

“Not in front of them? I can do it meself.” Jamie hates this part the most. Aftercare was important but having someone rub your sore bottom for you was another stab at what was left of your dignity. Everyone got to do it themselves but Jamie because he fucked up ONCE by not putting it on properly and limped half of training, and Roy never let it go. "I'm 26 year old man! Capable of applyin' a fuckin' dollop of cream."

“Hold still,” Roy ignores him, as expected from the gaffer because fuck what was left of Jamie's dignity and peace of mind. The sound of the cap opens loud and Jamie jumps from the sound, almost rolling off the lap. “I said hold still!”

Jamie nods and squeezes his eyes shut with his body going tense, bracing for the impact of Father Winter's icy kiss. When the cold cream touches his burning skin, Jamie squeaks with a jerk of his hips, and that's another fucking tally to the wall of shame when someone makes a mouse joke.

Jamie growls. He’s not a lion nor panda nor a fucking mouse, he’s Jamie Tarrt.

'Fuck off, perverts!' Jamie wants to say but he’s whining out loud from how the cool cream spreads around, and Roy was being rough again with that perverted hand cupping his underside with a squeeze, and fingers dipping between the crease to get a good grip as the hand slides up. Jamie wouldn't mind this type of ‘technique’ at home but here… Roy was doing it on purpose, the bastard.

“Hello, HR, me coach is feelin’ meh up.” Jamie holds a hand with his thumb and pinky extended out up to his ear. “Yes, I’ll hold.”

Roy chuckles. “Shut up, prick,” Roy can’t even deny it. When Roy’s done and lets it dry, he taps Jamie lightly to release him from his prison. Jamie slowly lifts himself off a lap he’s too accustomed to, here and at home, with a groan. Thanks to the cream it doesn't hurt as much but his body's stiff and aching from staying in the position too long.

“Fuckin’ always meh on that lap of yers! Yer blamin’ me for everything wrong in yer life when I'm the best thing,” Jamie pouts and bends down to pull his briefs up but Roy stops him with a grip of his wrist. What could this fucker possibly want now?

“Because, Tartt, who the fuck thought it would be funny to pull a prank this morning on the coaches with their signature written on it,” Roy growls and Jamie can’t help but smirk at him.

”You thought that was fer yer arse? Yer’s is right here,” Jamie wiggles his brows with a cup of his balls, something he knows will grind Roy's gears, and the team burst into a fit of laughter, giving him that boost of confidence. Jamie's little prank this early morning was supposed to be for another gaffer, Ted, but Roy had to get caught in the crossfire when he decided to take a seat on Ted’s chair. It was the closest seat to Roy when his knee was acting up, and the gaffer had plopped down without looking.

Whose fault was it really? Jamie would plead innocent.

“Jamie, dildos on a chair is not fucking funny. That’s fucking dangerous.” Roy grits his teeth and blushes when he was the unsuspecting victim. “What if I didn’t have any shorts or pants on? And that’s disgusting. Remove that hand, now. I am not done with you.”

”Roy, I would respectfully ask you not to sit on my chair butt naked.” Ted chimes in with a small wave. “And why my chair, Jamie? I thought we were friends! What did I do to deserve that?”

”Fuck off, Roy!” Jamie was sore and was still in his civvies of a white tee and outdoor trainers, yet to change when Roy figured it out it was him earlier when he was the last to stop laughing, and practically ripped more holes in Jamie's already ripped jeans when he tore them down.

“I thought it be funneh, Ted. It was fuckin’ funnier when Roy screamed like a— Whoa!” Jamie feels his body fly and swing across the room with a rough yank of his arm by Roy who’s back to being angry, and drags him across the change room like a father with their child pulling back.

“Ro—oy! Fuck off!” Jamie pales when he sees the corner beyond Roy's head, an old friend that Jamie hadn't visited in months. He had been fairly good minus the few pranks that got him a proper spanking, but never enough for the dreaded corner time.

Everyone oh's at the sight. Jamie can't go any redder than he already is when he passes by his team who leer with their eyes darting down—

“Jamie's getting it now!”
“Ooooo there goes the couple!”
“That was a pretty big dildo…”
“Someone's in big trouble!”
“Corner time!”

Jamie avoids it all. He struggles to pull out of Roy's grip but Roy's a fucking mutant when he's angry.

“Fuck off, you already spanked meh and rub fuckin’ cream— AH!” Jamie yelps and stumbles when Roy shoves him roughly into the corner where the dust bunnies live rent free, and right beside the laundry bins that stank of socks, and musty jerseys forgotten at the bottom. It makes him gag and head light from how disgusting this corner was.

”You’re going to stand here with your hands on the fucking wall and bare arse out. Think about what you fucking did.”

Jamie looks at Roy like he’s joking. He already got smacked and the prank was an innocent one for someone else.

”I’m not fuckin’ five, granddad! Jus’ wanna see this arse is all! Not meh fault you picked the wrong chair. Fuck off and lemme get ready— Ow ow ow ow ok ok ok you win!” Jamie cries out when Roy turns him over and the unforgiving hand goes down on his already red arse with sharp slaps, five times without pause, and it stings worse than the seven prior smacks.

Jamie hops on each foot to balance the pain while pulling his white tee down when the team breaks out in another wave of whispers and laughter.

”No fucking cream for that. If you don’t want corner time then it’s twenty swats to that arse. Which is it, Tartt?” Roy has that smirk Jamie hates because he knows which option Jamie’s going with, and Jamie knows which option he'll pick.

Jamie’s going to pick the option that’s going to tear what remains of his dignity apart but the least painful physically. Emotionally and mentally, he will probably never recover. He was going to have a juicy gossip session with Dr. Fieldstone real soon.

Jamie glares at Roy and slowly turns around to face the corner with his hands going up, planting them on the cool surface of the wall, and shuddering at the dust clinging to his sweaty hands. Jamie moves his hips a bit to find a comfortable stance and finally cements himself with a loud sigh.

”Fine,” Jamie whispers, eyes misting from how much his backside stung, and face hot from the shame that wasn’t going away anytime soon. Jamie hated corner time, especially when there was a glowing traffic stop light coming off his arse and out to the team.

Roy chuckles from behind, and Jamie can feel those eyes of his boyfriend check him out— Jamie jumps when Roy gets close without warning, placing his chin on Jamie's shoulder and hands at Jamie’s waist, lips right on his cheek trailing to the red lobes

”Good boy,” Roy breathes the words right in Jamie's ear and Jamie swallows, letting Roy’s words wash over him. “Be good and I’ll give you a reward. Be our secret.“

“Fuck off,” Jamie whispers back, holding in a chuckle when Roy gives him a small kiss on his ear.

Roy squeezes at Jamie’s waist as if to encourage him, and Jamie gives a kiss on Roy’s hand. They look at one another, small smiles on their lips.

“Love you, prick,” Roy whispers just for Jamie to hear.

Jamie nods with a sniffle with eyes still wet, and Roy wipes at them with a gentle thumb.

“Love you too, arsehole. Yer good,” Jamie finally whispers back when Roy gives him that look of needing assurance. As tough as Roy tried to be, he faltered sometimes.

They peck one another on the lips, and the team goes awwww with their heads tilting to the side. Roy whips around with a scowl and growls, and they all shut up instantly and straighten themselves out, going back to whatever they were doing.

”Listen up, Tartt,” Roy stern voice is back and Jamie’s rolling his eyes at the change of tone. “Move your hands or turn around and it’s a smack added. Speak without turn and that's a smack. Eyes always on the fucking wall. Right now, you’re at zero. You only need to stand there for thirty minutes,” Roy instructs from behind and Jamie nods at the wall in front of him; he’s heard these rules a hundred times already, to him and others.

And Jamie always forgot them.

”Got you, gaffer.“ Jamie has this in the bag.

”One smack added,” Roy tsk's.

”What! I was just agreeing!“ Jamie, in fact, did not have this in the bag.

”Two. You’re fucking terrible at this,” Roy laughs and everyone follows.

“Hell, Jamie, he said, speak without turn,” Colin’s voice floats from somewhere behind.

”It’s going to be the twenty smacks he missed out on at the end,” Isaac boosts Colin’s jokes and, and Jamie's trying his best to keep his eyes on the wall.

”Poor Jamie. Nice view though— ROY! I’M JOKING!“ Ted’s voice breaks out in a panic when Roy barks a, Oi!, out in anger and a rush of feet is heard behind Jamie.

Jamie cranes his head and body to the side to see Roy gripping at Ted’s sweater, shaking him hard, and Beard on the side, letting it happen.

Jamie smirks. 'Time for revenge and make yer arse regret putting this footie in the corner.'

”Don’ kill him, gaffer. It's true, innit?” Jamie says with a wiggle of his arse and wolf whistles break out among the men, and Jamie would never do this for something he's insecure about, but anything to piss off the coach one last time.

It works when Roy turns ten shades redder than he already is from his yelling 

“OI!” Roy’s voice snaps so hard and deep it lashes out like a crack of a strap, and the team quickly looks down at the floor with a flinch.

”I’ll let this fucking pass! You all keep to your fucking selves or else! And Tartt, fucking shut up and keep that arse still and eyes on the fucking wall!” Roy's is at the edge of raging; a jealous man he was when it came to Tartt but this gaffer couldn't play favourites. Regretting putting his boyfriend on display with his bare bottom out, Roy couldn’t take it back now, and Jamie knew that.

But, Roy will bite the heads off those who tease and make suggestive remarks at his boyfriend, work or not. That much he can do.

“And everyone better think proper about Tartt in the fucking corner! I can read minds,” Roy warns and Ted's sweating.

“Jeez, Roy! I was just joking. I say that to every bottom! Kinda hard when it’s out in the open,” Ted shouts out in defense and Roy stops his shaking. “You need to learn how to take a joke, mister!”

Roy growls. ”Jokes are only funny if they’re funny, Ted. Am I laughing?”

”Hard to tell when you only laugh at other people's pain… Like when you were spanking Tartt ten minutes ago.”

Roy chuckles darkly and lets go of Ted who ducks away. Jamie would turn around and make a joke about Roy but that would result in a smack to the smack bank.

“Now, keep getting ready! And for that fucking dildo, Beard, do whatever you want with it. Burn it for all I care,” Jamie hears Roy tell Beard and frowns. Jamie personally wanted to keep it as a souvenir to remember how Roy got probed but kept his mouth shut, letting it go.

Roy sitting down right on the tip of the toy without looking and jumping up with a shrieking squeak was a comical moment for everyone and a core memory for Jamie.

Was it worth this?

100% in Jamie’s opinion.

”You’re funny to think I needed your permission,” Beard replies, everything going quiet for a moment till shuffles of feet and chatter of plans break out. Jamie can imagine them taking off their civvies, whipping their shirts and jumpers at one another, and taking off trousers and jeans, and stuffing them in their cubbies and or duffels without care. They all would then take a moment to compare muscles and flex, something Jamie enjoyed doing with the lads each morning.

As the routine Jamie’s seen a million times plays in his head like a movie, there's a sound Jamie can't identify that tingles his ears, and makes him shimmy his shoulders. It was something like ripping paper and crinkling plastic containers that woke up the household at 2AM. Jamie wishes he can see what the fuck was going on behind him!

“Does anyone want a biscuit?" Arlo asks the room and Jamie perks up. Roy never let him have sweets at home unless someone offered. It was rude to say no, even for Roy's strict diet standards, and Jamie was allowed just half of whatever was offered, Roy taking the other half. Better that than nothing!

A few people say yes and sounds of crunching and chewing fill the gaps of silence in Jamie's head and can imagine himself also eating the treat with them. Unlike his team enjoying reality, Jamie had what they called an active imagination, and Jamie can envision any biscuit in his head and eat as many as he wants without Roy’s permission. Shall he have chocolate? Jammie? Chocolate chip? Jaffa? Cadbury Finger?— Jamie would take a smack if it was a Cadbury Finger and then some.

“Anyone else?” Arlo shakes whatever he's holding and Jamie's licking his lips. “Tartt, want one?” Arlo teases with a shake of the package, the rustling sounds of delicious treats calling out for Jamie. The suspense of what they could be was tempting Jamie who was a simple brat wanting a cookie.

“Yes–” Jamie bites his tongue. Fuckin’ Arlo almost got him a smack! 'Traitor!'

“Arlo, get your fucking arse here. Now,” Roy’s angry voice calls out from somewhere, and Jamie knows Arlo was going to get it now. Teasing anyone in corner time was punishable.

Especially if it was Jamie Tartt in the corner.

“S-sorry, Roy… Ouch!” Arlo yelps out, and Jamie smiles at the scene he conjures up in his head of what Roy could possibly be doing to Arlo.

'Ear pulling? Pinch and twist? Neck pull? Knuckle twist?'

The possibilities of Roy's discipline never ended. The gaffer had something for every body part, Jamie's least favourite being his arse and neck; he wasn't a fucking cat! It made him clamp up badly when Roy pinched his neck or the crook of his shoulders hard.

“Stop teasing someone in corner time. Last fucking time I tell you fucking muppets.”

The talking dies down from Roy’s warning to low mutters and mumbles and Jamie's trying to keep himself busy, unable to hear the conversations. Staring at the wall ahead and nothing to do but that, Jamie starts to count the little indents and craters on the surface. As he counts, going higher up, his eyes dart to the top of the wall when he sees some movement.

‘Hm, needs to be dusted. Been like whut, a million fuckin’ years?’ Jamie keeps his eyes on a ball of condensed dust and a small cobweb. Looking at it made Jamie want to sneeze. About to look away, Jamie sees something moving. He squints his eyes and gets on his tip toes to get a better look.

Jamie freezes when something crawls out slowly from under the cobwebs and dust balls.

It was a big, fat, black fucking spider.

Jamie swallows.

’Better stay the fuck up there!’ Jamie thinks as if the spider can read his mind.

‘Bitch, please,’ Jamie thinks the spider would say back with sass.

‘Please, spider. Have mercy— Wait, I am not talkin’ to a spider in me own fuckin head,’ Jamie shakes the thoughts away because it’s been a minute and he’s already fucking losing it.

Corner time made everyone insane.

“Say, who’s coming to game night later tonight?” Isaac's voice booms out and the majority of everyone pipes up with a yes.

“Aight, I need to know who’s coming. Whoever doesn’t say anything can’t come,” Isaac holds his laugh and Jamie knows they're looking his way.

Jamie growls to himself. They’re fucking with him because Jamie would love to say yes just to hang out with his friends and let loose. 

‘People can be so cruel to those in corner time… Were me corner rights?’ Jamie will never prank again because these wankers didn’t deserve the laughs and joy Jamie’s pranks brought them. Thanks to Jamie, everyone now knows what Roy’s girlish scream sounds like.

“That new episode of Heated Rivalry came out!” Colin says out loud and Jamie squirms. Roy and him are only on episode 3 and these fuckers are going to spoil it for him! Where was Roy? That man hated spoilers more than Jamie.

Jamie tries to zone in on Roy's voice that was distant and lost in the jungle of his teammates rambunctious voices, possibly in his office checking the remaining chairs in case.

“Oi, what episode are you on?” Someone asks and Jamie doesn't know who it is from the amount of noise of trainers squeaking and fabric rustling muffling the voices behind him.

“Caught up. Can't wait for the final episode next week!” 

“Love them in episode 5. My fucking heart!”

“What happened!?” Someone gasps.

Jamie risks it by craning his head slightly just to peek and Roy is onto him the moment he's back from wherever he was.

“3, Tartt! Eyes on the fucking wall.” Roy snaps his fingers at Jamie.

‘What fuckin’ luck!’ Jamie whines and turns his head back, eyes back on the fucking wall. He wants to tell Roy they're going to spoil the show but can't without adding another fucking smack.

The team talk about the episodes they've watched and Jamie's on the verge of screaming at them to shut up when they start talking about episode 4. Roy gets the hint because Jamie can hear those feet he's familiar with walk over to the gossiping voices.

“Don't spoil the show! You know Tartt and I are on episode 3. That is fucking disrespectful,” Jamie smirks at Roy scolding the group and the talking ceases to weak apologies right after.

Jamie sighs in relief and the team goes on to talk about other meaningless things. Where was the fucking gossip?

After what feels like a million minutes, Jamie wonders how long he's been standing here with his hands on the wall and backside out to the open. He’s shivering from the wind of people passing by and possibly fanning him with their jerseys; Jamie can hear the low laughs and whispers about his arse needing a cool down. Roy can’t be everywhere and keep an eye out on everyone.

Jamie wants to yell for Roy to tell them to stop but to obey the coach overrode his discomfort. Ignoring it, Jamie keeps to himself, fidgeting and flexing his legs out. Roy knows he can’t stay still properly and allows this much movement at most; such an accommodating gaffer.

Jamie flexes his leg out too far, accidentally hitting the bin with his foot. It hits the wall with a small thud, spooking some people nearby, including Roy who was on him again.

“Behave, Tartt!” Roy's voice breaks out suddenly and Jamie jumps, almost looking over but stops himself. For someone strict about corner time, Roy was quite distracting.

“Almost got him, Roy!” Jamie can hear Ted's joyful chuckle and wants to curse the man for not picking his usual chair. If it was Ted then Jamie would have gotten a hand smack with a mini ruler.

If it was Beard, well, Jamie wouldn't know because Beard had yet to find anything punishable.

Yet.

Jamie shifts from foot to foot and moves his hands up and down the wall. He wipes away the grime and dust to uncover the true colour of the wall.

‘Fuckin’ nas-teh!’ Jamie makes a face, afraid to look at how dark his hands are. Jamie’s starting to get tired and the spider above is slowly moving about under the dust.

Possibly looking for its next prey.

Jamie hopes it's not him.

“Say, did you hear about reports of staff getting sick?” Someone whispers and Jamie's ears perk up; now this is what he’s talking about. ‘Finally, something fuckin' juic-eh!’

“Yes! Olga said she got massively ill. Had to be in the hospital for days–”

“I heard they all got bit by something–”

“They said it was—”

“Someone died, I think!”

“Don't be ridiculous— Be right back, pizzas are ready for pickup,” Jamie hears possibly Beard say, a click of a door opening and closing following.

‘Fuckin’ aces! It's pizza day,’ Jamie hopes Roy would let him have a slice or two after corner time. Jamie had marked this day on his calendar with a giant heart, dreaming of that greasy cheese and thick crust. He was never a fan before but after Roy’s strict diet, it was a taste of heaven. It was Ted’s idea to try different types of pizza from varying joints and restaurants, and this pizza party was going to be garbage pizza; Ted's exact words.

“Heard it’s fast and can’t even see it!”

Jamie snaps out of his pizza daydream when his ears pick up on his on teammates' gossip again, turning one ear to them. He couldn't tell who was saying what without seeing them, their voices undistinguishable.

“Don't have your ankles out!”

“Got bit— and died? That’s crazy!”

“You think it's a spider?”

"What? No. Has to be a demon. What kind of spider kills people?"

"Guess yer right. Has to be a demon."

"Yup, definitely a demon."

"Si, demon!"

"I think we can take down the demon together."

"One demon is too many!"

"We cannot fight it, at all."

Jamie swallows.

Jamie looks up.

The spider... gone.

Jamie goes pale.

‘Where the fuck did it go?!’

Jamie looks around, hands starting to slip from how sweaty they're getting. He wants to ask how much longer but that's going to be another smack without his question being answered.

Jamie eyes dart around and spots the spider obscured under the dust balls, crawling around slowly. Sighing in relief, Jamie's eyes start to dance along the wall to calm his mini heart attack; up and down, side to side, up and down, side to side, all while keeping the spider in his vision.

‘Fuckin’ bored. Been 30? Wait… What if they don’ tell me it been 30… What if it been 84 minutes?!’ Jamie starts to realize maybe Roy would keep him here forever and Jamie wouldn't know it. Idiot he was for leaving his smartwatch at home!

Time didn't exist in corner time…

Jamie goes back to moving his eyes around the wall to keep his mind awake. The stance he's in is starting to make him go stiff—

CRASH!

Something hard and heavy crashes from behind and Jamie yelps, whipping around instinctively.

“4, Tartt,” Roy says calmly as he picks up the water cooler that fell when Will attempted to change the jugs. Will gives Jamie a look of sympathy and others snicker about his smack counter.

Jamie whines. ‘Piece of shite! Not fair! What if it were a murderer behind meh? Gonna give the gaffer a talkin’ to after work,’ Jamie thinks and looks up and away– Jamie does a double take back.

The small spider was coming down from a thin web, and Jamie got a good look at it.

The spider was pretty big and all black with a slightly larger than average abdomen. Never had Jamie seen such a thing. He was sure this wasn't a native spider of London or the fucking world.

It smiles at Jamie with its little eyes as it descends down on him.

‘Gonna get youuuuu~’ Jamie swore the spider said with a wiggle of its butt and its legs curling in an alien manner as it got closer and closer…

Jamie was unable to look away, his body locking into place. He was frozen in a state of needing to obey his coach or stepping back to get out the spider's way. Both options had dire consequences that Jamie didn't know which was worse.

It was tearing Jamie apart.

His vision goes blurry and it’s just a little black dot coming down. Voices behind him get low and a static fades in. Beads of sweat roll around the veins on his forehead from holding his breath in, something he didn’t realize he was doing.

‘If I move then thats’s five total slaps to me fuckin’ arse but if I don’ move, this spiders gon’ get meh! But ROY! But SPIDER!’ Jamie’s simple mind screams to obey Roy but his body shakes violently to fucking MOVE—

‘ROY?

SPIDER?

BUT ROY?

BUT SPIDER?

BUT SMACK?!

BUT–’

Jamie blinks out of his trance when something heavy tickles his forehead, and crawls down towards his nose, dragging its weight that left a lingering trail on his skin that itched.

Jamie’s mind catches up and his eyes dart in-between, widening at the black fuzz that obscures his vision. As if time slowed down this very moment, Jamie could feel every single nerve in his body freeze and the terror wash over from his head to toe.

The spider waves politely, a fan of the man it sits on. 

Jamie opens his mouth but nothing comes out. He’s in shock and can’t process what’s sitting on his nose, waving its little arms around. When the spider lifts itself up as if to bite, Jamie finds his voice—

“UUUGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAA!” Jamie shrieks and takes his hands off the wall to step back in urgency, slapping and scratching at his face.

The spider finds itself flying off to the side and hitting the wall it sticks to. It skitters away, hurt and swears its revenge.

“IT'S ON MEH!” Jamie screams, bumping into everyone who tries to get out of the way. “GET IT OFF!”

“Tartt!” Roy's on Jamie with a strong hand on his neck and pulls hard. “Calm yourself!’

Jamie instantly tenses up with a painful gasp, shoulders going up with his head tilting off to the side. “R-Roy,” Jamie whimpers under Roy's grip. “Fuckin’ s-spider on meh face!”

Jamie holds his breath when Roy dips him down a bit, and leans close to inspect him. Roy runs a gentle hand through the threads of his almond hair, hot breath on his face and neck.

Jamie lets out a soft sigh as Roy flicks his lobes a few times before tracing a finger behind each ear, and rubbing the shell, giving them an unnecessary hard tug after.

“No spider, Tartt,” Roy mumbles, ruffling Jamie’s hair for good measure. “Probably just dust that touched your face.”

“Roy, weren't dust!” Dust did not descend from a web coming out its arse and Jamie was not going to let Roy make him think otherwise.

“There were a fuckin’ spider! Swear down!” Jamie could still feel its little legs crawl on his face.

Roy's not having it.

“Last time you screamed spider it was a bunch of rubber ones you brought in.”

Jamie sweats. He did pull a prank of that degree last week and got everyone good too. Luckily, it was Ted who disciplined him with gentle taps on his wrist with a mini ruler.

“Is real!” There isn't anything else for Jamie to say and he whines when Roy shoves him back to the corner of fucking doom.

“Hands back on the wall. If I start counting, you're in trouble,” Roy points to the corner and Jamie shakes his head no, looking around the room. Everyone was staring and Jamie could feel their eyes crawl all over him. It looked like no one believed him. Did they think Jamie would do that for show?

Yes, he would, but this time around he was dead serious. Jamie would never scream the way he did in front of others, and was cringing at how his voice had sounded so girlish. Now Jamie knew how Roy felt when he was pointing and laughing at his girlish scream earlier today— ‘Wow… this is what learning me lesson feels like?... Me girlish scream is cuter though...'

Roy starts counting.

Jamie dips his head in defeat.

‘Fuckin’ hate corner time but fuck that spider!’, Jamie curses silently, slowly walking up to the wall. Just when Jamie's hands were going up, the spider ran past him on the wall in a flash, spooking him. 

“Tartt, I said–”

“S-S-S-SPIDER!” Jamie shouts over Roy who looks at the wall but doesn't see anything but dust and the imprints of Jamie's hands.

"Where? You're wasting time." Roy looks at his wristwatch, and Jamie looks back at the wall to see the spider poking out from the corner, waving at him before disappearing into the dust when no was looking.

‘Oh me fuck, this spider is fuckin’ with me!’ Jamie could not believe this was actually happening. His mind had to be playing tricks on him and making the situation seem more fictional than what was really happening.

Jamie did had an active Imagination. That's what it had to be. 

“Tartt, hands on the wall or else.”

Jamie looks at the wall and the spider comes back, does a little crab dance, and dashes away. Jamie stands there with his mouth agape, slowly turning to everyone with eyes wide and confused at what he just fucking witnessed. 

This was happening. Jamie was being messed with by a fucking spider the size of two pounds. 

“Please tell me you saw that!" Jamie points  his finger frantically at the wall, looking back and forth his team and the corner of dust. "The fuckin' spider just did a fuckin’ dance!”

Everyone just looks at him oddly, their eyes somewhere else when it happened, and Jamie shrinks under their judgement, feeling like a little boy who cried wolf— No, cried spider.

No one believes Jamie.

“How did no one see that!? THE WALL IS RIGHT THERE!” Jamie keeps pointing to the ‘empty’ wall. Roy looks around again and sees nothing, and goes above and beyond by moving the laundry bins that have nothing under them.

”I didn’t see anything,” Jan Maas says but it’s a lie. He wasn’t looking at the wall when the spider passed; no one was when someone’s bottom half was exposed. The majority of the team agree with the Ductman, and Jamie is not having it.

”Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas,” Jamie was not going to let a Dutchman gaslight him and everyone else who agreed with him. “I don’ have glasses because I can fuckin’ see while you and everyone here needs em!“

“Tartt, that's fucking 6 smacks. 7 soon if those hands aren't on the wall.”

“Oh, fuck you, grandad! Yer jus’ as fuckin' blind in the light as you are in the dark!” Jamie curses angrily and realizes maybe that wasn’t the best choice when Roy's eyes go dark and his face is a shadow of his anger.

“Tartt,” Roy’s voice drops dangerously low that Jamie considers this time around Roy is actually going to kill him and needs to drop his attitude since 3 years ago. Roy was a patient man who, like everyone, had a limit and his was running out of miles. If Jamie kept yapping then he was going to really get it.

“It's now 7. Want to skip the line and get to 20 now?” Roy is crossing his arms and Jamie hates how that’s the only option Roy gives as free jail card for corner time.

Jamie takes a moment to consider it. 20 slaps to the backside and never sit down or deal with a possible murderous spider?

Jamie took his chances with the spider. He was fit in muscles and looks, and the spider was a cunt under his trainer. This spider was messing with the wrong footie in corner time, and all Jamie had to do was wait for it to appear and give it a good smack with his trainer.

With caution, Jamie makes his way back with everyone watching, and raises his trembling hands to the wall. The spider was nowhere in sight but Jamie knew it would return to cause havoc.

Jamie’s little plan to whip off his trainer the moment the spider showed up, and to do so, Jamie would have to–

Realization hits Jamie hard when he remembers where the fuck he’s at; In. The. Corner. To grab anything would need use of disposable thumbs that were attached to palms and digits that needed to be on the fucking wall or else he’s in big fucking trouble. Even if Jamie risked grabbing his trainer to kill the thing, he had terrible reaction time if he was fearful.

Jamie tears up. He was a fucking goner.

Roy sighs at his sniffling boyfriend who looks at him with wide, puppy eyes and wobbling lips.

“Fuckin’ spiders out to get meh, Roy,” Jamie wants to cry because if that thing touched him again, he will fucking lose it and he will uninvite Roy to his funeral after the heart attack he has.

“I know, Tartt. If I see it, I will kill it. Promise. You got 20 minutes left,” Roy himself can't see a spider but can see the dense dust up in the corner of the wall and a small cobweb. If there was really a spider running a muck then he would have seen it by now.

“P-p-please. Spiders bein’ a c-c-cunt,” Jamie says and Roy's letting him pass with a few words from how bad he's shaking and stuttering.

“Promise. Now, eyes on the wall. You have 20 minutes left.”

Jamie sighs, head looking straight ahead at what he believes might be the last thing he sees when the spider gets him; the WALL. Would people only believe him when he was bit and dying? Possibly not! They think he was faking it and doing it all for show.

Jamie can feel Roy walk away from him and it's just Jamie and the corner, and a massive murderous spider assassin nearby.

“Everyone, listen up! You too Tartt. Today, we're just training with the basics of—” Roy’s voice fills the room and Jamie is glad there's something to help distract him for the next 20 minutes.

But it's fucking boring. Jamie's about to fall asleep from how boring the shite Roy’s talking about and staring at nothing stimulating.

Jamie knows how to fucking pass!

Jamie knows how to kick a fucking ball!

Jamie knows how to play the fucking game!

As Roy goes on and on about the importance of passing and proper sidekicks, Jamie closes his eyes and imagines himself in cartoon scribbles of spanking Roy for once.

‘You've been a bad wittle boy, Roy!’

‘Oooo Jamie pweeeaze don't spank me~ I be a good coach! Pwease! Yer soooo cool and me sooooo stoopid!’

‘Hehehe, Roy! I think you need more than a spankin’! Hehehe!’

‘Nuuuu! Whut are you going to do to meh?!’

‘That mouth needs to be washed with me–’

Jamie's brows furrow and his lips twitch when something tickles his hand. Jamie opens his eyes and they go wide.

The spider waves its arms at him, on top of his hand. It was trying to give Jamie the finger before doing its little crab dance.

‘No one believes yoooouuu.’ Jamie swears he can hear its little taunting voice.

Jamie grins nervously.

“P-please… Don' bite meh,” Jamie whispers low. “D-Do anythin’...” Jamie haggling his life with a spider was the least strangest thing he's done in his life. Stranger things have happened at the club, and what happens at Nelson, stays at Nelson.

The spider stops its dancing and waves its many arms around as if talking.

‘I demand flies and a lap dance.’

“Please, anything but the flies…” Jamie was not going to touch those disgusting things but the lap dance, he was willing to sacrifice that much. How someone gave a spider a lap dance was something Jamie would have to look up on a private browser.

Roy didn't need to know.

‘Wait, Jamieh, yer haggling wit a fuckin’ cunt thats two pounds the size. Fuck em up!’ Jamie was truly going insane with these voices in his head. Was he that fucking bored that he was pretending to haggle with a spider?

The spider does its little dance, arms waving faster and legs bending unnaturally to the human eye.

‘I demand flies!’ The voice in Jamie's head screams.

“Fuck you!” Jamie spits out low, his other hand slowly sliding over to swat his enemy. The spider with its many eyes picks up the movement and raises its fangs— It was going for the bite.

Jamie's eyes go wide—

The spider fangs go down—

Jamie screams bloody murder.

Everyone jumps and yelps from their spots from Jamie’s sudden outburst who is throwing his hands up and jumping in a crazed frenzy.

The spider falls to the floor and skitters away under the laundry bin with an idea in mind.

“SPIIIIIDDDDDDDDDEEEEEERRRRR!” Jamie hollers like a mad man and Roy's right beside Jamie with a death grip on his shoulder that would normally make Jamie clamp up, but the fear of the spider about to bite him overrode everything.

“Calm yourself!” Roy barks and dodges an elbow to his hip.

“SPIDER TOUCHED MEH!”

“Tartt! There's no spi—”

“SPIDER!” Jamie shows his arms but it's clear, so he grabs onto Roy and starts shaking him in a mad frenzy. “I swear on me dads fuckin’ grave, that's around the corner, there's a fuckin’ spider after meh!” Jamie can’t stand properly with the fear coursing through his body and Roy has to hold him up.

“F-f-f-fuckin’ almost bit meh! It wanted flies and a lap dance but I said nu to both!”

Roy looks at Jamie in utter shock, speechless even. 

“Lap dance? Are you fucking insane?” Roy was truly bewildered at what he was hearing but Jamie's frightened, shimmering eyes and body language told Roy he was dead serious or the best actor Roy’s seen.

“Yes! Roy, I'm scared!” Jamie was in a situation where a spider was coercing him. Never in Jamie’s life did he think this would happen to him. This was the Bee Movie, a cartoon film Ted made them watch and Jamie greatly enjoyed, type situation but turned into a nightmare.

‘Spider Movie does have a ring to it…’ 

Roy looks at Ted who shrugs. Jamie was a drama queen and massive brat but this was a bit much for the lad to pull off. Roy was tempted to console his boyfriend, who was clearly distraught, but held back until he saw proof of an actual spider.  

“I think I did see something!” Colin says, finger pointing on the floor. “Something black!”

“I think I saw it too,” Declan pipes up and soon everyone is agreeing about seeing something.

“See! Spider!” Jamie is feeling hopeful. “It keeps touchin’ meh! No more corner, please?” Jamie at this point was ready to hop in the showers and bathe away the spiders lingering, filthy, non-consensual touches.

Roy sighs for what he feels is the millionth time today and considers it. The team was sure they saw something. If this spider was real and touching his boyfriend then that spider was asking for a fucking beat down.

Roy Kent’s jealousy knew no bounds.

“Okay, fine. If there’s a spider you’re out of corner time,” Roy has to say through clenched teeth, and walks to the corner. Roy looks up and down, around the floor, and even in the laundry bins. Some help by shaking their duffles on the floor and trainers, and loose articles of clothing Will missed. Will pokes around the dust and around the benches with a broom. Ted goes on his knees to check under the benches and tables, and shakes his head no. It’s when Roy moves aside the laundry bin again that he sees it, something that wasn’t there before.

Roy growls.

Jamie watches in horror as Roy picks up and holds out a black rubber spider with a string attached that was clearly planted there by the real spider. Everyone gasps, gobsmacked, so much so some have to sit down. Some shook their heads, and even Ted was shaking his side to side and giving Jamie a look of fatherly disappointment.

Did everyone think Jamie was using a fake spider to get out of corner time?!

“That's an extra 10 minutes and 3 fucking smacks for your little show.” Roy can’t even look at Jamie. The betrayal was too much for this worn-out coach who’s suffered too much in life. First Chelsea, then his knee, and now this?

“Roy, I'm not lying! It's fuckin’ wit’ me! This cunt's doin’ this on purpose! It put it there!” Jamie knows that spider is making him look crazy and the words Jamie's spouting out sound crazy to him too but it’s all true.

“Jamie, this is from your last prank.” Roy dryly says, swinging the black spider toy by its string. “I remember because I was there.”

“Why would I fuckin' lie about this? Yer tellin’ me I put a fake spider to get out of corner time?” Jamie tries to convince everyone but they go back to their task in hand, ignoring him, and Roy's dragging him back to the corner that was sure to be his grave soon.

“Nu! New corner, please! Fuckin’ take me the 20 fuckin’ smacks!” Jamie cries out and Roy stops.

“Really now? Won't be by my hand now, Tartt,” Roy points to the paddle hanging up by the office. “Still want those 20?”

“Nu, fuck that! New corner, please?” Jamie cannot go back to that wall and Roy rolls his eyes.

“Sorry, no space anywhere else. If this so-called spider comes back, scream with your inside voice,” Roy warns.

“Fuck you, Roy.” Jamie means it too and sticks his tongue out.

“Now!” Roy shouts and Jamie's scrambling to put his hands back on the wall and the same stance as before, accepting his fate. Roy gives his back a pat and walks away, leaving Jamie to defend himself once again.

“With the extra 10 minutes, it's 25 minutes, Tartt. Behave,” Roy's voice goes one ear and back the other.

‘Back to square one…’ Jamie prays the time will go by quickly.

Jamie stares at the same corner and keeps his eyes peeled for the villainous spider. How no one's seen such a thing has Jamie baffled. Then again, who came around the part of the change room besides Will? Jamie would have to ask to change cubby because of how fucking close it was to this thing.

Roy’s voice picks up from where he left on and Jamie tries to listen to fill in the minutes he has left. It's hard when it's boring and Roy's just drawling on and on about what Jamie has perfected.

Jamie’s about to pass out from the boredom and the crashout from his dying adrenaline. His mind was swimming with how his days had been so far. Was this a dream? Or was Jamie going crazy in corner time and imagining this spider?

‘Crazy…’ Everyone thought Jamie Tartt was crazy and could he really blame them? Yelling and screaming about a spider that only he saw would make anyone think so.

‘Footie?
I was footie once
They put meh in a corner
A dus-teh corner
A dus-teh and nas-teh corner with spiders.
And spiders makin’ meh fuckin’ craz-eh!
Fuck corner time!’

“Now, I know some of you have trouble passing sometimes–” Roy’s accusing voice was clearly directed to Jamie who could feel everyone’s eyes once again, a seventh sense at this point, and Jamie would plea not fucking guilty because all he did was pass!

Jamie huffs to himself, and closes his eyes, imagining a world where his imaginary friends believe him always unlike these wankers behind him.

‘Woe is meh… Jus’ a poor footie… Holdup, I think I’m on to somethin’...’ Soon, lyrics start popping up with a tune following, and Jamie finds himself making a song of his woeful day to escape from it all.

‘Woe is meh!

Jus’ a poor footie!

Stuck in the corner of lies!

No one believes meh but meh!’

Tapping his foot to the mini concert in his head of his fire song and cartoon scribbles of Roy's being his backup dancer, Jamie loses himself to it all. No one could take his active and vivid imagination away.

‘Jus’ a footie living in dis world of walls~!

Corner time got meh screamin’ out in pain~!

I jus’ wanna run run run~!

Like the wolves~!

Awooooo~!

No one believes me but I will prevail~!

Oh Roy~ That tickles, hehehe!

Wait–’

Jamie opens one eye open when something brushes on his wrist and he thinks nothing of it till he sees it, both eyes almost bulging out.

The spider sits menacingly on his hand.

The spider winks at Jamie with its many eyes. Jamie does not wink back, in fact, Jamie cannot even blank when the wrath of this spider oozes out its little pores that force Jamie to stay in place.

There isn't a dance nor a wave this time around.

The spider giggles with its fangs up—

Jamie has a mouth that cannot scream, a body that cannot move, a mind that cannot think—

The spider finally bites down.

Hard.

Jamie's mind goes pure white and a sound of something popping goes off in his head, like a balloon right in his ear. His life flashes before his very eyes of every single thing he's achieved and regretted, from the day he was born to this moment of his death— Jamie opens his mouth wide with deep inhale—

‘Hey God, it’s me, Jamie Tartt…’

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH!”

Jamie lets out what is the most dramatic, guttral, heartbreaking, terror inducing, loudest fucking scream anyone's ever heard in their life.

It rips through the change room, making everyone duck their heads down with hands clapping on their ears, afraid to look at what could cause such a sound;

Travels down the hall of staff who flinch and freeze to stare at the direction it comes from in shock;

Up the vents that lead into Rebecca’s office and makes her jump from her seat and Higgins fumbling with his glasses that have fallen off from jerking his head too hard;

Slips by Dr. Fieldstones outside the hall of her office who takes a moment to assess it, and concludes that whoever is screaming has met their demise.

Finally, it bursts out the open windows to the outside world where the birds fly away startled, and people stare up to the sky, wondering if they heard something or if it was in their head.

“Jamie?!” Roy's trying to get to him but Jamie's bumping into everything by rushing backwards without looking, twirling his body and jumping out of pure agony.

Jamie elbows Ted who knocks down the water cooler and the jug pops off, water spilling everywhere. Will groans at the mess he'll have to clean up.

People rush out the way but end up bumping into one another and like a domino effect, they all fall down or stumble around the puddle of water, shouting at one another to watch out.

Beard walks in with the giant stack of pizza boxes in hand and drops them when someone bumps into him, and it all falls with lids opening. The pizzas slide out onto the floor where it soaks up the dirty floor water with the many toppings floating on the water.

“Not the pizzas!” Someone screams in pure distraught.

Beard stands there, in shock, watching people slip on water with shouts and yelps, Roy whistling with his mouth that's fizzling out, Ted helping Will pick up the water jug to only drop it again and explode this time around and it's a rushing flood of water, and the men bumping and crowding away from the source of this madness— Jamie Tartt screaming at the top of his lungs and limbs hitting all who come near.

“Jamie, fucking calm down!” Roy tries to yell over the chaos but Jamie is fucking done. He got smacked, put in corner time for eternity, no biscuit, bullied by a fucking spider that bite him, and worse of all, no one, not even his boyfriend, believed him.

Everyone was getting full tantrum mode Jamie Tartt.

“Fucking bit me, Roy! Oh me god it BIT MEH—” Jamie heaves with his wrist shaking violently and swelling to the extremes. It hurt so fucking much that Jamie was stomping and kicking his feet in the water, splashing anyone near.

“Jamie, stop!” Colin dodges Sasha’s leg that he almost trips over. “Yer crazy, mate!”

"He's transforming into Spider-prick!" Isaac shouts and it's not a joke. "Fucking watch it, Jack!"

"Ay! Ay! Para!" Dani hisses through his teeth from Arlo gripping his arm with nails when the young man slipped. 

"Sorry Dani!" Arlo tries to get up but falls and Dani goes down with him who grabs onto Tyler who then grabs onto O'Brien who then— It goes on till majority of everyone is on the flooded floor with arms and legs flopping to get up.

“What happened?!” Beard’s wondering what the fuck he missed because this was not on his AFC Richmond Himbo Moments bingo. “I was gone for like 30 minutes!”

“Spider!” Ted yells from the other side, ducking down when a jersey flies by his head. “It’s only been 30 minutes— Oof!” Ted groans when Tommy elbows his side by accident.

Beard coughs, going a bit pale at the mention of a spider, and with everyone, he watches Jamie Tartt lose his fucking mind without shorts or underwear on with the biggest, reddest wrist.

Some would say it's hilarious.

Some would say it's sad.

Some would say it's hot and die by Roy's hand for it.

Roy's trying to see the bite mark but Jamie's moving and elbowing whoever comes near in a state of hysteria.

“Fuckg hell— Stop! I need to see! Will, icepack. Ted, Beard, hold him!”

“I'm gonna dieeeeee! Lemmmmme fuckin’ goooooo!” Jamie cries when it takes Beard and Ted a minute to get a good hold on him by his arms, their grip tight.

“Gonnnnnaaaa dieeee!’

“Jamie! You're fine. Spiders here aren't like Australian ones. You're not going to die, kiddo,” Ted assures, and Jamie stops his screaming that dies down to loud sniffles and hiccups.

Ted was right.

The majority of the spiders in the area were harmless. Yet, Jamie had never seen that type of spider before, and his wrist looked bad with the bite going from painful to unbearable. How he was managing the pain was possibly from the adrenaline and this crashout was going to fucking hurt.

Jamie calms a bit but a nervous wreck with his breathing getting heavy and face a bit puffy. He lifts his arm up for Roy to look, letting out a small cry. Roy furrows his brows at the sight of the wrist that's a scarlet red and massively swollen and shiny. The spider bite of two tiny gaping holes was already sweating and pussing out yellow.

“Shit, he did get bit,” Roy mumbles and Jamie's kicking at him furiously.

“Told you bout the fuckin’ cunt spider!” Jamie snaps and the pain isn't dulling. It burns and throbs worse each second.

“Settle down, now. Need to get it washed right away,” Roy takes the icepack from Will and presses it on Jamie's wrist who jerks violently at the sudden touch. “Probably a common house spider,” Roy says, unsure himself because what kind of house spider made someone's wrist look like this?

“N-nu it was black!” Jamie corrects him.

“False widow?” Roy raises a brow.

“Nu! All black it were! Had super long legs and and it was ugleh and a cunt!” Jamie could never forget the enemies he made along the way. It definitely was not a false widow.

The three coaches look at one another. The team stops their giggles at the Jamie Tartt tantrum show and looks at him with a bit of worry when his wrist keeps getting bigger, his words slurring, and his face is starting to go a vivid red with little hives popping up. Some take out their phones to look up what type of spider Jamie could be referring to with his symptoms.

“Jamie, that doesn't sound like any spider around these areas… Unless,” Roy looks at the American coaches because these whack jobs always brought weird shit, and Ted turns to stare at Beard.

Beard swallows.

Roy growls a dangerous tone, eyes demanding an answer.

“I swear to fucking god, Beard… If you've brought something dangerous here, I will strangle you…” Roy tries not to panic and keeps his voice steady. Beard did vacation outside the UK to somewhere that was known to house deadly creatures and Beard himself was keen on such things.

“I… Might have um…” Beard sweats through his hat. “I brought something over from my vacation in Australia by mistake… It's been missing for a year but I believe we now have found it.”

“Beard,” Ted says with a loud gulp, forehead dripping with just as much sweat. “You don't mean Ruby, do you?” Ted should have known it could have been that spider! Beard did say they didn't kill it because it could dance.

Silly of Ted to forget.

“Who the fuck is Ru-beh?” Jamie yells with a slight slur and wiggles himself out of the Americans grip and away from everyone; can't trust these fuckers when he called spider and no one believed him. Only now they cared when Jamie's proof was on fire and growing in size.

“It's a spider. I don't know what it is because I lost it but it could possibly be a funnel,” Beard takes his hat off just to put it back on, a indicator he was stressing the fuck out.

“You need to go to the hospital. Like, right now. You could die between 15-70 minutes,” Beard checks his wristwatch. “It's been 10 minutes since you got bit. You might have 5 minutes left to live, maybe,” Beard says a bit too casually and everyone stares at Beard like he has two heads.

“What?” Roy blinks, processing Beard's words one by one. Roy isn't sure if he should murder Beard now or after his boyfriend's funeral.

“N-n-nu fuckin’ hospital!” Jamie had a phobia of hospitals and doctors, so much so he would take any amount of smacks given and even death that might be around the corner. “Stay the fuck away from me! Go by yerselves!”

“Numpty,” Roy says the nickname he uses in private, and while everyone would be cackling at Roy for it, they were in a dire situation that didn't need the laughs. Jamie had a phobia of hospitals, a secret between them, and last time Roy had to take him for an ongoing issue, he had to tie the brat down.

Explaining to the police why your boyfriend is tied up in the backseat screaming bloody murder about the doctors, and thrashing like a madman was no easy feat. Roy got off without much trouble because Jamie had his seatbelt on. Safety was Roy’s #1 rule.

“Fuck off, yeh Hairy Kunt!” Jamie uses the nickname when he's furious at Roy and it gets a giggle from Ted who disguises it with a cough. Roy has his arms up and slowly comes in towards Jamie with Beard and Ted either side of him, their hands up as well. If what Beard said was true then they all needed to get this brat to a hospital ASAP.

Roy decides to haggle. “Get you anything you want. Want chocolate? Ice cream? Cadbury Fingers? Top for once?”

Jamie hisses.

“Uh oh, someone get the spray bottle ASAP. Jamie's gone feral again,” Jeff jokes, joining in the circle of capturing Jamie. Isaac joins and Tommy blocks the door to the hall, Arlo and Sasha the field exit.

Roy makes a mental note to give Jeff a paddling for that joke.

“Jamie, you can die! I'm not joking! It will be painful, I'm fucking serious!” Beard swears with some desperation in his tone, and Jamie hops on the bench when people are enclosing in on him.

“Holy shit! Beard's right. Jamie, it was nice knowing you…” Colin has his phone out, curious to know if it was true about funnels. Men start hopping on the benches to escape a possible ankle biter murderer, their voices of nervousness and fear grating Roy who close to fucking losing it.

“Fuck off!” Jamie says and kicks his feet at Ted trying to grab him. “Jus’ suck it out!!”

“That's been proven false,” Jan Maas says from the back, eating Arlo's cookies that were, in fact, Cadbury fucking Fingers.

“Jan Maas, if you eat all those fuckin’ Cadbury Fingers before I die, I will come back and h—“

”James fucking Tartt Jr,” Roy cuts Jamie off with that tone and use of his full legal name that makes Jamie freeze and fear for his life. “If your fucking arse isn’t walking to the fucking car, swear down I will drag you by those fucking chin hairs you’re trying to grow,” Roy threatens with his voice breaking halfway and Jamie gasps.

”You called them cute and said I will loo— Ooooh…” Jamie slurs trail off in a drawl. He blinks, unsure where he is or what he was saying. His head is going light with tingles washing over his body, numbing him with a hot blanket of pins and needles.

Jamie gags when nausea hits him hard like a kick to his stomach, cramping his insides with an iron fist. He tries to put his hands up in attempt to cover his mouth when a rush of bile shoots up hos esophagus— Jamie just waves his arms around, unable to feel them.

Bile dribbles out the corner of Jamie's mouth and the acid burns his throat bad. He doesn't understand what's happening.

Jamie's scared.

“Jamie?” Ted calls out with worry. “You okay bud?”

“R-Roy-," Jamie rasps out after he swallows down the acids and his throat feels like it's getting tight. He wants to tell Roy he isn't feeling too good and wants to go home.

"I-" Jamie's unable to think straight with his vision going blurry and eyes itchy, so itchy he wants to scratch at his skin till it's off. Voices of worry are distorted and muffled by the blood rushing to his head; everyone watches how his face gets so big and puffy in seconds.

Jamie wobbles on his feet and forgets he’s standing on a bench with how bad his perception is skewed.

Jamie takes a step forward and slumps over.

They dive towards Jamie when he falls over, Beard being the one to catch him. They lay him down on the floor of water and Roy's on his knees that ache tremendously bad but he doesn’t care, riding the pain out.

“What fucking spider did you bring!? Goddamn Cthulhu?" Roy was aghast at Jamie’s face and the way he curled his body with arms up to his chest and legs going inward. “Fucking hell, someone, go get the fucking medics already!” Roy yells out and Tommy’s out the door in a flash; should have called the moment Jamie got bit but everyone thought Jamie was being his overdramatic self.

“Jamie, talk to me, please!” Roy's holding his head and torso up from the water, cupping his face. “Please!”

”Roy…” Jamie croaks, vision doubling through slits of his swollen eyes and Jamie thinks he's a spider now; maybe he was this whole time.

Jamie’s mouth gasps open, and his muscles twitch and jerk from time to time.

Jamie can’t see.

Jamie can't move.

Jamie can't fucking breathe.

Jamie thinks he’s dying.

Probably is, probably will.

‘Fuckin’ corner time... Fuckin' cunt spider… You win… Bite Jan Maas for eating all those Cadbury Fingers… God bless me, everyone...'

“Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, keep fucking talking,” Roy’s trying to stay calm and wait for the medics but all Roy can see that’s left of Jamie’s face is the pupils peeking out from his puffed eyelids. It all looked too familiar to Roy...

Jamie spits out trying to say something but his tongue keeps growing and his airways are finally cut off, and all that comes out is a small whiny and whistling gasp. Jamie thinks he's grinning up to Roy with his swollen duck lips, and  hopes his, I love you, yer good, was clear and happy to die in the arms of someone he loves and surrounded by his friends.

Jamie hopes when they write a book about him, the spider, and corner time, they add this part in so when they adapt it into a movie, it'll win an award for best emotional scene.

With no more strength to struggle and his mind slipping away, Jamie's eyes fully puff over and his body goes limp in Roy’s arms.

Everyone stands in place like statues in a deathly quiet room. Even the water they stand in stills and turns colder than it was before.

Roy pats Jamie’s face that’s scolding and hard on his hand. He checks Jamie’s pulse and it’s so slow Roy isn't sure if Jamie is even breathing…

“Where the fuck are the medics?!” Roy screams out in pure anguish, the panic and fear finally taking over. Ted’s beside him, fumbling with his mobile, hands trembling.

“T-Tommy went 5 minutes ago,” Ted stutters out. "I-I-I'll call for an ambulance—”

Roy can't wait anymore; either Tommy couldn’t find them or they happened to move the fucking medical bay somewhere else in the building. An ambulance would help but time was ticking.

Roy stares intently at Jamie and it finally clicks when a memory surfaces that makes his chest tighter than it was before.

Roy recalls his Chelsea days when a player, #17 Wallace, ate peanuts by accident that were mixed with a snack bowl by the staff. Wallace almost died when the club's epi-pens were expired and luckily had his own on hand that saved his life. It was one of the most traumatic moments in Roy's life to see his teammate gasp for air from a face that was a balloon inflating each second, eyes up at the ceiling, begging, knowing they were going to die with hands clawing at their neck and chest—

A face Roy can never forget. Never will.

Was Jamie possibly having an allergic reaction, something that was unknown to even Jamie himself? This was the face of #17 Wallace and if that player didn’t have his epi-pen that day…

It was Roy’s call in the end.

“Epi-pen!” Roy yells with his hands out and Will’s a blur, one being placed in Roy's hands in a matter of seconds. While Roy didn’t know the symptoms of this so-called funnel fucking spider, Roy would take his chances on an allergic reaction.

Roy fucking prayed it was.

Roy pops the cap off the epi-pen and jabs Jamie without sparing a second. Everyone holds their breathes in together, some holding hands, some hugging, and some on the bench with tears and hands on their heads, distraught about losing the pizza and possibly Jamie now.

Ted is about to faint with the dispatcher on the other end asking for the address, and Beards behind him in case he dips. Will bites his fingernails with one hand while the other holds a towel, ready to drape it over Jamie’s face in case he doesn’t make it.

When all think he's a goner, Jamie gasps for air when his airways open up a bit— They know what it is.

“HOSPITAL!” Roy screams out like it’s codeword while hoisting Jamie by his arms and Isaac grabs him by the legs, and everyone around scrambles to move anything out of the way, feet kicking water around and creating mini waves of mushy dough and pizza toppings that stick to bare legs and stain white shorts.

“Colin, start my car! Declan, Jeff, Moe, open any doors my fucking way! Will grab another epi-pen and icepack. You’re riding the back with him,” Roy throws his keys at Colin and Colin’s gone the moment he catches them, everyone else being called following with their task given. The closest hospital was 10 minutes away; 6 minutes by Roy driving, 4 if he didn’t care for red lights.

“Wait, I'm sure the medics are coming!” Arlo calls out but they all can't wait any longer and they are already running off with Jamie who mumbles and spits out incoherent phrases.

“Ted, find me that fucking spider!” Roy yells from down the hall, and staff watch amused at the sight of a shortless, pantless man with a balloon face being carried by two men. Not the weirdest thing they’ve seen at Nelson Road Stadium.

“It’ll be fine! Godspeed!” Ted yells from behind and watches them all race down the hall.

Ted looks back and those who stayed are standing on the benches, frightened. Zoreaux and Dani are hugging one another, Tom has a trainer in hand, Jan Maas yawns, and everyone else is pointing and screaming about the deadly spider coming to get them, splashing away anything black floating on the water.

Beard has a jar, eyes searching for his friend he accidentally smuggled in before it meets its demise by a footie and a trainer.

Ted blows his whistle to get their attention, having enough of their silliness.

“Okay, team! New activity! Find the spider or else we get a lawsuit!”

Jamie sniffles on the couch with a tub of vanilla ice cream, finally home after two overnight stays with three days off of work. He's alive but sore and forever traumatized from the horrors he went through.

Turns out it was not a funnel spider. Ted and the lads had found it and it was an Australian black house common spider; not deadly but its bite packed a punch. Roy was right about the allergic reaction, and Jamie found out he was deathly allergic to spider venom, a very rare allergy, and suffering an anaphylaxis episode. The epi-pen worked to keep him alive long enough to seek professional help all while Roy drove like a madman.

Will himself was also forever traumatized in the 4 minutes it took to get to their destination. 

Jamie had never felt such excruciating pain before. He could still feel it now too, the lingering trails of hundreds of fuzzy hands crawling on his face and arms that made him scratch and slap at, the fire on his wrist that melted all his icepacks in seconds, and the never-ending knock of death at his door that echoed in his ears— But, out of all the things that made him weep like a baby and gripped him the most was seeing Roy cry beside his hospital bed about how it was his fault.

Jamie 100% agreed with the gaffer with a pout, and it got a laugh from Roy who was just glad his brat was alive.

The hospital stay was a nightmare for this man who had nosocomephobia. Jamie was woozy and drugged up from both pain and anti-anxiety pills that did nothing to keep the tears out his eye nor stop the crippling dread that made him puke up everything he ate. Regardless of the horrors, Roy was able calm him down the two nights with silly stories about taking down Beard's little spider friend, Ruby, who unfortunately resided at Beard's home alive but locked up properly.

“Rent a boat and go in the middle of the sea. Make sure Beards still breathing after a paddling so I can watch the life disappear from his eyes when I drop his spider friend over the railing after I rip its arms off one by fucking one.”

Roy had such a way with words.

Now home with Roy as his servant until the guilt wore off, Jamie was down in the dumps, severely so. The doctors did mention some side effects of the blues and Jamie was feeling blue all right. Not even the dozen boxes of Cadbury Fingers, something he craved every single time he breathed, was helping. Not a single box had been touched, all neatly stacked on the coffee table.

Jamie sighs, scooping up some ice cream to only let it slide off the spoon. What did he want? He was craving something for sure but didn’t know what…

“You okay,” Roy asks when Jamie stirs at his ice cream. Jamie just shrugs, stirring clockwise.

“Want something else? Get you anything you need, my Numpty.” Roy puts a hand down to stroke at Jamie's hair for a bit before sliding down along Jamie’s cheek, caressing along the jawline. Jamie looks up to Roy who's looking down from behind the couch, eyes with worry. Jamie thinks for a moment, and considers he might want a bite of Roy.

”Wanna wrestle?” Jamie asks quietly, brows going up and down, and Roy takes a moment to understand what Jamie meant by that because he would absolutely wipe the floor with him. It dawns on Roy after, and he turns red with a nod. Roy did tell Jamie he could top.

Jamie smirks, puckering his slightly swollen lips and Roy leans down to deliver. Jamie sighs in the kiss when Roy deepens it— Jamie's not feeling what he thought he would, and pulls away much to Roy’s disappointment.

“Seriously. Anything you want,” Roy is desperate to see a smile on Jamie’s face, the guilt eating him alive. “Doesn’t matter what it is.”

“Hmmm…” Jamie's eyes wander the room with thoughts of the spider looming somewhere.

“Well…” Jamie's eyes land on the empty corner they have yet to fill and decorate. This was it! The moment to put Roy in the corner and live his fantasy dreams of putting Roy in his place for once. Roy would say yes too and Jamie would have a free jail card of a thousand backside smacks.

“Roy, I want…” Jamie starts and Roy's looking at him with all the love in the world, ready to make Jamie happy because that's all Roy wanted— Jamie's heart breaks a bit, tongue twisting before he could say what he wants.

Jamie shouldn't use Roy's guilt for something like this when the man was doing his job. Yes, Jamie was furious when no one believed him but who's fault is that? All Jamie did was prank and make a fool of himself. Of course people wouldn't take him seriously about a spider that had an IQ of twenty Einstein's.

The corner had taught Jamie a valuable lesson of respecting people's noises and insecurities, and shouldn't take his frustrations out on people trying to help him. 

Revenge was never the answer. Jamie could take out his so-called revenge on Roy for what he went through or be the person Roy strives him to be.

Maybe the spider wanted Jamie to see that too.

‘Nu, that cunt wanted to kill you. Hm... Corner time for Roy or...’ Jamie makes up his mind.

“Want a cuddle and the rabbit books. Cuddle time?” Jamie decides that's what he really wants because only Roy made the tremors go away, and Jamie's sure Roy's cuddles would melt away his blues.

Jamie puts the ice cream tub aside and makes room on the couch, unwrapping the blanket around him. Roy's quick to grab the book, The Tale of Peter Rabbit, and by Jamie’s side. Jamie gets on Roy’s lap, wrapping the both of them in the blanket. They get comfortable and embrace in a bundle of their love and a warmth that only they could give to one another. Jamie sighs in a blissful contentment as he melts in Roy's arms that holds his heavy body and makes him feel safe, the blues no more.

“I love you.” Roy holds Jamie close with one arm and the other hold up the book. “Will always believe you when you cry spider.”

“Spider.” Jamie laughs against Roy’s chest and it’s the best sound to Roy’s ears, and gives Jamie a dozen kisses on his head for it. Jamie leans his head up and into Roy's kiss attack, laughing from each smack of something he would gladly take. When Roy's done, Jamie plants a single kiss on Roy's lips before resting his face between the crook of Roy’s shoulder and neck, eyes on the book.

“I love you, more. Read to meh? Voices too? A childish book it was for someone like Jamie Tartt, it was one of his great comforts in life that only Roy knew of because he trusted Roy that much. Not even Keeley, someone who wouldn't judge and Jamie trusted just as much, knew.

“Of course, your highness,” Roy smiles, opening to the first page. The colours jump out, and Jamie's back on his mum's lap after a bad visit at the doctors— Safe and away from all the bad things.

“One upon a time there were four rabbits,” Roy starts, his voice soft and tender. “Flospy, Mopsy, Cotton-Tail, and Numpty—”

Jamie closes his eyes, following Roy's voice through the story as he images himself as the little rabbit who ran off to eat Spider Cunt's Cadbury carrots in its garden after he was told no

Who would chase his little rabbit bottom around, and corner him

Only does he escape with his hairs ripped off and ears bit and sick in his throat

Running back to the very thing he ran away from

His safety net at home that had told him no

Who then spoon fed him what he needed

And cuddled away the bad blues

In the end, this little rabbit learned to listen and leave things that are not his alone.

“Numpty never stopped running or looked behind him till he got home to the big fir-tree. He was so tired that he flopped down upon the nice soft sand on the floor of the rabbit hole, and shut his eyes—”

One day, Jamie would put Roy in the corner for something he deserved.

For now, this is what they both needed.