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As thrilling as a trip to a mysterious tower in the depths of the Underdark sounded, Gale couldn’t find it within himself to care that much.
In fact, it was difficult for him to feel anything at the moment other than a gnawing hollow numbness somewhere in his chest.
It had been days since he’d had a proper night’s rest, not since that disastrous conversation with Astarion the day he died. Every time he shut his eyes, the same nightmare would plague his sleep, only worsening each time. It would usually start with the night they spent together during the tiefling party. Sometimes the transition from dream into nightmare happened immediately, more often it would be gradual. Regardless of how it started, it always concluded with his demise somehow. The most common ending was having his heart ripped out and falling into the void, like his first nightmare, but that’s begun to change too.
Sometimes Gale would be torn apart by some monstrosity while Astarion stood there and laughed. Sometimes the rest of the party would appear and ambush him when Astarion accused him of committing horrible deeds, attacking as though he was one of the many foes they faced and putting him down without mercy. Sometimes Astarion would be replaced with a hook horror and assault him before scooping his guts from his body and beheading him.
After each nightmare, Gale awoke screaming and thrashing, then spent the rest of the night too terrified to go to sleep again for fear of repeating the whole experience.
Gale was exhausted, so when Tav invited him to accompany them on this expedition to the tower, after not having him in the party in days – thinking that he’d enjoy himself visiting what they assumed to be a wizard’s tower – he felt little enthusiasm at the prospect. Unfortunately he knew it would be foolish of him not to go and explore, as he was the expert when it came to a wizard’s tower. He was also the one who knew how to identify the fungi that Omeluum and Blurg claimed might be found inside.
He was traveling with Tav, Shadowheart, and Karlach. He hadn’t been in the same party as Astarion since they visited that atrocious tree, as Tav had finally realized the extent of the vampire’s hostility towards Gale and must’ve thought it wise to keep them as far away from each other as possible. He’d actually barely seen the other man in the flesh since that night; Astarion apparently chose to make himself scarce around the camp, or at least, around him. That was fine with Gale – he didn’t think his heart could take any more venomous looks from the elf.
Tav and Shadowheart took the lead, with Gale stumbling along a short distance behind them and Karlach bringing up the rear. Where once he would be excitedly pointing out the many flora, fauna, and fungi they passed, he was silent. He felt almost as though his mind was in a fog, with his body acting independently while his brain fought a horrific migraine. He was leaning heavily on his quarterstaff for support as he moved, using it as a walking stick.
He was aware that his appearance matched his mental state; the last time he’d seen his reflection, there were dark circles under his eyes, his hair hanging limp and unstyled, his clothes rumpled. He was so exhausted that he couldn’t even manage the bare minimum to groom himself, which he knew should have embarrassed him, but he couldn’t find the energy to care.
“Psst, hey! Magic Man!” came a whisper from his right.
It took Gale a few moments to process that he’d heard a voice and it was speaking to him, the gears in his head turning slower than usual. When he finally did, he glanced to the side and spotted Karlach walking beside him with a smile that brightened the gloominess of the Underdark. It took him longer still to actually respond, but the tiefling waited patiently. “Ah… yes, Karlach? …How may I be of assistance?” he mumbled, trying his best to give her his full attention and not allow his mind to wander.
“I’ve never been in a wizard’s tower before! What do you think we’ll find inside?” Karlach asked excitedly, practically bouncing on the heels of her feet as she spoke.
Gale paused again as he slowly considered what should’ve been the easiest question for him to answer. His mind was drawing a blank as he attempted to form a proper response. “Well, if I had to guess…. Probably a lot of books… Magical memorabilia… Maybe a trap or two…” His voice drifted off after each statement, almost as though his brain was restarting each time.
Karlach's demeanor changed as she frowned at him, concern written all over her face. “Hey, you alright, mate? No offense, but you look like shit and like you’re moments away from passing out.” She reached out as if she wanted to touch him but withdrew her hand before doing so, presumably when she remembered that her touch would scorch him. It was a shame really; he could have used a comforting touch for a change.
“Oh, nothing to concern yourself with… just haven’t slept well… for the past few… days…” He replied, giving her a tired smile while waving her worries away with his hand. Clearly he hadn't been sufficiently convincing, as Karlach looked even more distressed than before.
“Is this about Fangs and that one-sided yelling match you had the other night?” She asked cautiously, crossing her arms as if she were uncomfortable, and didn’t know if she should ask the question or not.
Gale sighed, shoulders slumping. “Ah… you heard that?” He shouldn’t be surprised – he saw them standing outside of his tent that night. Maybe he was hoping he could keep his dignity intact, that they wouldn’t know how much he messed up. It seemed that, as usual, he was wrong.
“The whole camp heard it; Astarion wasn’t exactly being quiet,” Karlach paused, appearing to hesitate before continuing, “But it looks like it’s been taking a toll on you. Don’t let what he said bother you so much – he was being an ass anyway.”
“That’s not the only thing on my mind… but thanks,” Gale responded, doing his best to smile.
The tiefling grinned. “No problem. Remember, we’ve got your back. You don’t have to shut down just because Astarion is being a dick,” she said before patting him on the back, forgetting herself for a moment. Thankfully, Karlach’s heat was mostly dulled by his robes, but he still hissed in pain as his shoulder sizzled a bit. She pulled her hand back quickly, muttering a quick, “Sorry!”
There was a moment of awkward silence where Gale tried to process the words she’d said, but there was a disconnect between what he was hearing and what he was understanding. He didn’t believe what she was saying, not really. After all, Astarion hadn’t said anything to him that wasn’t valid. He didn’t belong to Gale because they slept together; while it had never been his intention to imply that, he must have made the vampire feel that way if he was accusing him of it. Astarion needed space and Gale needed to respect that, simple as that.
Before they could continue the conversation, they saw Tav and Shadowheart duck behind a wall before signaling for them to start sneaking. The pair immediately followed their example, Gale crouching down with a groan as his knees protested the action. They made their way over to the two half-elves to see what the situation was.
“Looks like this tower has got some defenses,” Tav muttered, “We’ll have to take care of those first before we can explore. Here’s the plan…”
⊹₊˚‧︵‿︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‿︵‧˚₊⊹
The next hour or so passed by in a blur for Gale. He could recall there being arcane turrets guarding the tower and working together with the party to destroy them. He remembered walking around a torch-lit area and finding a letter with the name Lenore written on it; Gale found he had no desire to read it, so he folded it up and tucked it into his pocket.
They’d made their way to the entrance of the tower and climbed through the nearby broken window. After dealing with more arcane turrets inside, they discovered that the elevator was not working. They looked around the area and Gale found a dusty book; like the letter, he stashed it away in his pack without reading it.
The clearest memory he had from this time was when they located a mysterious chest. Upon first glance, it seemed like it and the items inside were utterly mundane and simply junk. However Tav, being a hoarder, decided to take the items anyway. They were all surprised when, upon being removed from the chest, the items transformed into various spell scrolls and a pair of magical boots.
Tav gave all the items to Gale; he figured that they thought he’d get the most use out of them, or at least consume the Weave inside the boots. He replaced the boots he was wearing with the new ones and deduced that they were enchanted with the Feather Fall spell. They were immediately useful when they realized they would have to descend to the ground floor of the tower if they were going to explore any further. Gale cast the spell and they leapt off a balcony, floating down down down…
He became disoriented during the gentle fall, but regained his bearings once his feet hit the surface of a large mushroom. He waited for his companions to land safely, relieved to see that he still maintained control of the Weave despite his many other failures.
Once Tav landed, they turned to the rest of the group. “Alright, let’s see if we can find the entrance to this tower. Hopefully it is somewhere nearby,” muttering the last part almost to themselves.
As usual, Tav led the party with the rest following behind them. The group had to climb down several more mushrooms to get to the ground level. Gale wasn’t thrilled about the necessity and his knees even less so, making their protests well known at the exertion, but made the descent without any complaint.
They quickly found the entrance, but unfortunately, like the other entrance to the tower, the door was locked. Karlach hefted her warhammer over her shoulder and said, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Give me a minute,” before swinging it at the door with a loud thud. He felt overwhelming guilt at the need for her to break down the door, knowing it was all his fault they were without their lock-picking expert.
Gale decided to wander around the area. He figured it would be easier to stay awake if he kept moving; at the same time, he was trying to distance himself from the loud noise of the door being smashed in an effort to not worsen his headache. His mind was still fogged and his head throbbed, so he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was looking at or where he was going.
The only warning he had before his connection to the Weave snapped, was the aroma of something honey-sweet.
Immediately his heart began to race as his eyes darted around, desperate to find the cause of the disconnection. Frantically scanning the area he spotted them – there in the garden – those wretched flowers and a smaller version of that godsdamned tree. He stumbled backwards, clutching at his chest and hyperventilating, tripping over his own feet in his panicked retreat and landing on the ground with a cry of shock and pain. He braced himself for a hook horror attack, convinced one would be nearby guarding the tree, just waiting for a defenseless wizard to walk by.
Something grabbed him by the shoulders and he attempted to cast Shocking Grasp. Nothing happened. His magic was gone. Oh gods he was going to die again. He didn’t have another Scroll of True Resurrection, and it was all his fault for not paying attention, Astarion was going to be furious –
“Ga–! …le! It’s j… me, –ook!” There was a distant voice, but he could barely hear anything over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears and his mind yelling at him to get away, get away, get away!
He struggled out of the clutches of whatever was holding him and began to desperately crawl backwards. He needed to get out of the anti-magic field, needed the Weave back, he refused to die here – !
Right as he felt his magic return, as he prepared to cast a spell, a soothing sensation suddenly washed over him and his mind went blank. All the tension in his body vanished and he slumped, boneless, falling back and staring up at the cavern above him, unable to hold his body up anymore. In the blink of an eye, his heart began to beat at its normal pace, his lungs finally able to draw in air. He felt… calm. He looked around and spotted Shadowheart nearby, her hand shining a golden light in his direction, an expression he couldn’t discern written across her face.
“Gale! Can you hear me?”
That was Tav’s voice. He watched as they entered his vision, hands reaching out towards him; they must’ve been kneeling on the ground beside him.
It took him a few moments, but eventually he was able to comprehend their words and slowly nod his head, finding himself unable to speak.
“Are you hurt?”
Again there was a pause before he shook his head.
Tav heaved a sigh in apparent relief. “Okay… I think you need to take a break for a bit. Karlach and I will explore the ground floor and see if we can get that elevator running. Shadowheart, I want you to stay with Gale while we do that.”
Gale simply nodded again, understanding what they were saying for the most part. He felt heat rush to his face, embarrassed about his actions. Once more he’d demonstrated how utterly useless he was without his magic; he couldn’t believe that he behaved that way in front of his companions simply because he lost his connection to the Weave. All over some silly flowers? He heard a voice in his head that sounded awfully like a certain vampire say, ‘pathetic.’
Tav stood up and brushed off their armor before turning and nodding at Shadowheart and Karlach. While they did that, Gale pushed himself up into a seated position, arms trembling as he did so. Their leader and the tiefling made their way to the now smashed-open door while Shadowheart knelt beside him, a concerned-but-annoyed look on her face.
“You should have said something if you weren’t feeling well,” the cleric muttered as she cast another spell on him. He felt the throbbing in his head that had bothered him all morning disappear, and was able to find some clarity in his mind for the first time since they departed. While he wasn’t totally cured of his exhaustion, he certainly felt leagues better than he did a few minutes ago.
“Thank you, Shadowheart. Your care is much appreciated,” Gale spoke, finally able to put a complete sentence together.
“The Lady of Loss might tell her followers to embrace pain, but it shouldn’t be without purpose. Keep that in mind next time,” Shadowheart said solemnly before settling down beside him.
If only a spell could fix all his problems. Still, he understood what her intentions were. “I’ll do my best to remember that,” he responded, though his mind was already drifting elsewhere again.
Why had he responded the way he did when he felt the effects of the flower? He was fine around them last time and that was right after he had been revived; he’d even done some experiments with the blooms they had brought back from the tree! On the other hand, that was before he went days without restful sleep and in the safety of the camp. Was exhaustion and seeing them again in the wild really enough to rattle him and cause such an explosive reaction?
The pair sat in awkward silence for a while. Eventually, it was broken by Tav reappearing. “Hey! You were right, Gale, those flowers are sussur blooms. It looks like the previous owner used them to power the tower. I’m going to go grab one and bring it back to Karlach. You… just stay here.” As they spoke, they appeared to appraise Gale, trying to determine whether he was better or not. He assumed they found what they were looking for because they quickly turned and ran over to the garden.
Gale watched as their leader picked one of the blooms from the tree and carried it inside, disappearing as they passed through the doorway of the tower. Another minute passed before there was a sudden whoosh sound, like something bursting into flames. He looked up at the tower and saw that, floor by floor, the outer chandeliers were bursting into light, glowing with blue flames. By the time they reached the top, the entirety of the tower was bathed in a pale blue glow.
Seconds later, Karlach came trotting out. “Alright, looks like we got the elevator working again! Tav says you can come inside now!” She gestured towards the door to get them to follow.
Gale rose to his feet with a groan, his knees crackling as he did. He felt a little unsteady once he stood, but a hand on his back kept him stable while he adjusted. He looked over and saw it was Shadowheart helping him; he flashed her a small smile to convey his gratitude, to which she responded with a silent nod.
Once he felt like he wasn’t going to collapse, they entered the tower. Now that the fog in his brain had been lifted, he was able to appreciate the tower more, even feeling a tad excited at the prospect of exploring. After all, a wizard’s tower was host to a wealth of knowledge and, seeing as this wizard wasn’t home, Gale was eager to take a peek at what secrets it contained.
The moment he walked through the door, he heard Tav yell “Gale, catch!” as a book was tossed towards him. He hastily caught it, thankful that he had the reflexes to do so now before any damage could come to it.
“Tav! Please show more respect for the written word!” Gale protested loudly.
Tav simply rolled their eyes. “I’ll be more careful next time,” they teased before continuing, “I thought you’d be interested in that book, though.” They strolled off to chat with Shadowheart.
Gale huffed as he assessed the book in his hands. The cover was unassuming, but he flipped to the first page anyway. He spied the words 'The Antimagic Properties Of Sussur Tree Flowers By L. De Hurst' at the top. Even though he despised those abhorrent flowers, the scholar in him was interested in what he could learn. A cursory glance at the paragraph following the title described the properties of the flowers and a theory that they could be used for various purposes. To his disappointment it appeared that whoever wrote the book didn’t get far in their research, as the rest of the book was blank.
He was curious about who this L. De Hurst was and what happened to them; he wondered if perhaps this was their tower, given the elevator was powered by the blooms the way they described. He carefully stored the book in his pack, hoping to find others like it in the pursuit of further knowledge.
They ascended the elevator to the next floor. It seemed to be a greenhouse based on the various flora and fungi of various sizes growing in beds around the room, and the samples scattered about. Like the rest of the tower, the structures were crumbling, but oddly its inhabitants were flourishing. Tav turned to Gale, an unasked question in their eyes, looking to him to help them find the mushrooms that Omeluum and Blurg requested. Thankfully, the greenhouse was well organized, so he was able to find them relatively quickly. He stashed all the samples he could find in his alchemical pouch for safekeeping.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tav holding another book. He watched as they grinned, beginning to shout as they prepared to throw the book, “Hey Gale! Ca–”
Before they could finish, Gale cried out, “Don’t you dare!” and ran over to them, snatching the book out of their hand and flashing a glare at them. They just smiled jokingly before walking off to converse with Karlach.
Gale examined the book carefully. It was an old, worn out thing, covered in stains and torn in various places. He flipped through the pages, eager to see what contents lay inside, but found that most of the words were faded, covered by ink spills, or ripped out. He was only able to clearly read two sentences; based on their phrasing, he assumed that this must’ve been a book describing an old play. He was unable to decipher what play it could be as he didn’t recognize the lines that he made out, but it intrigued him anyway. He decided to hold on to this book as well and added it to his growing collection.
Once they finished poking around in the greenhouse, the group ascended to the next floor and found themselves back in the main entrance hall. Since they had already been there, they continued up the tower.
The floor above appeared to be a bedroom. Gale felt a profound sense of despondency and bleakness wash over him upon stepping foot inside, unsure of the reason why. The room was barren and decrepit, but something told him that it was also host to many sorrows. As with the rest of the tower, the group took the time to thoroughly explore it. Gale spotted a book lying on a desk and rushed over to claim it before Tav got any bright ideas.
He opened the book and read that it was titled 'The Roads to Darkness' with a subtitle reading ‘An epic tragedy about power, corruption, and loneliness.’ His interest was piqued by this, so he skimmed through the prologue; he didn’t make it very far, stopping himself when he read the line “And you? I saw your teeth, they're sharp as blades.” He could understand the implications of what the character was saying and felt that the last thing he needed to think about was more vampires. Still, a book was a book, and he was sure its contents would interest him later, so he decided to keep it anyway.
On the same desk was a handwritten letter. He picked it up carefully, doing his best to avoid tearing the fragile paper, and read its contents; it spoke of the writer being concerned for their friend Lenore and questioned their willingness to befriend a bulette in their loneliness. Despite the majority of the contents of the letter, he couldn’t help but smile at the story of Myrna rolling around in autumncrocus flowers; while he preferred felines to canines, he could still appreciate the joy that a pet could bring. It reminded him of Tara, even though he would be quick to point out that she was not his pet, thank you very much. Still, it also served as a reminder of how much he missed his dear friend.
Suddenly, the name Lenore rang a bell, and he pulled out the other letter that he had picked up earlier, finding that it also contained that name. He decided to read it now, wishing to learn more about this Lenore person, whom he assumed was the former owner of this tower.
Unfortunately, it seemed their story was not one filled with happiness and appeared to have a bleak ending. His heart broke when he thought of the loneliness they’d experienced; he could empathize, both from the memory of his isolation in the tower and his current situation with Astarion. Even though he had never met them, Gale felt sorry for Lenore – he wouldn’t wish that feeling of solitude on anyone.
As much as it pained him, he could also relate to their feelings of regret towards the one they loved, and what they would change if they had the chance to make things right. It seemed as if he and Lenore had a lot more in common besides being wizards and scholars. He carefully placed both letters into the pocket of his robes with a sigh.
In the distance, he heard Karlach say, “Now that's a low button. I wonder what it does?” before there was a clicking sound followed by a disappointed sigh.
His last discovery was a torn-out piece of paper on a desk near the elevator. He immediately noticed that it had blotches on it from some sort of liquid and that the handwriting was shaky, as if written by a trembling hand.
Gale frowned as he read the piece of paper; he wondered if perhaps Lenore had written the poem themselves. Based on the handwriting and the state of the paper, plus its contents, he assumed that they were fighting back tears.
He wished he could have met them and done something to cheer them up or comfort them somehow; they seemed to be the type of person he would have liked to know beyond a shared interest in magic. He would even go so far as to say they could have been friends, as they probably could have used one in this tower, and gods know that his social circle was miniscule at best. At least he’d had Tara with him in his isolation; he doesn’t know how long he would have lasted had he been all alone. He most likely would have shared the same fate as Lenore, or worse.
Although even now, he’s surrounded by companions and yet somehow feels lonelier than ever.
He hoped that, wherever they were, they had found the happiness that they so desperately needed. He put the scrap of paper in the same pocket as the other letters, knowing that he would need to store them somewhere safe when he got back to camp. He would not let Lenore’s memory be forgotten.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Gale waited patiently while his companions investigated the rest of the room, suddenly feeling tired again. He wanted to return to camp, organize the books he’d found, and then try in vain to sleep, praying that no nightmares visit him tonight.
Alas, they still had one more floor of the tower to explore.
They piled onto the elevator and ascended to the top floor. The whole roof was missing, revealing the entirety of the Underdark to them from above. Gale had little time to appreciate the view before more pressing matters made themselves known.
“New sounds through damp and dark oppression break / Is it the foe, that foul contemptuous heel?”
Their heads whipped around to find the source of the mechanical voice, quickly realizing that they were surrounded by an automaton and multiple animated armours. It seemed as if the automaton, which was standing closest to them, had been the one to speak; it now stood silently, as though waiting for an answer.
They all looked to Tav, who seemed to hesitate at first before stepping forwards. “Uh… I’m not a foe, I’m a friend! I come in peace!” They raised their hands as if to calm the construct.
It stared at them as though they hadn’t said anything. They heard a whirring sound, as if it were charging something or getting ready to attack. Tav glanced back at the rest of the party with an almost panicked look. “I don’t know what else to say!” they whispered quickly, not wanting to initiate combat with the construct.
Karlach and Shadowheart looked stumped. However, something about the words the automaton had spoken seemed familiar, almost as if he had seen them before, and recently too. Gale wracked his brains, trying to recall exactly where he had read them. All at once, it hit him, and he quickly reached into his pack and pulled out The Roads to Darkness. He opened it to its front page and… there it was! It was in the opening stanza of the play!
“I think I have an idea,” Gale announced as the whirring sound continued, increasing in volume.
Tav gestured at him to intervene as they moved aside, allowing him to step forward. He cleared his throat before speaking hesitantly, “Or art thou friend, a rescue from my lonely wake?”
There was a pause as the automaton processed the words. Gale had a moment of nervousness, thinking that maybe he had been mistaken, before the whirring stopped and it finally responded.
“Come out of love for me, not love for blood and steel…” It said before bowing its head at him. “Command as you see fit, my lord, my liege.”
Gale let out a sigh of relief, not realizing that he had been holding his breath while waiting for the answer. It seemed as though this construct responded to poetry. Now, while Gale loved poetry as much as the next wizard, it seemed a little self-indulgent to use it to command an automaton. But, every wizard had their quirks and indulgences, and apparently Lenore’s was poetry.
He turned to Tav. “I think it responds to poetry. I actually found another poem lying around the tower. Do you mind if I…?”
Tav nodded. “Go for it,” they answered before waving at him to continue. He noticed that Shadowheart and Karlach spread out to explore the rest of the floor while he conversed with the automaton.
He decided to pull out the threadbare book that he had found, remembering that there remained a few lines of a play; he was curious to see if speaking them would result in anything. He opened the book to the correct page and read the words carefully. “How can I trust? How will I ever know? / How can I show myself, my darkest me?”
That seemed to do the trick, as it responded, “If you do not your deepest secrets show? / Reveal your truth, give what you wish to see.” As it spoke, it held something shining out to them in its grip.
Tav reached forwards and took what appeared to be a glowing ring. They examined it carefully, humming to themselves. “Interesting, I wonder if it does anything,” they said before slipping it onto one of their fingers. “Hmm… seems to be enchanted by a Light spell! Nice going, Gale!”
Something in Gale lifted at the praise, causing him to smile slightly. It felt good to do something right for once.
“Gale!” called Shadowheart, “Take a look at this! Maybe you can use it too.” She walked over to him, holding a patched-up parchment. It was worn with age but appeared to be most treasured based on the condition otherwise.
He took it from her and read its contents. It seemed as if it too held a poem, possibly one Lenore had written, or some other mysterious author? Could he use it like he had the last one…?
Gale looked up at the automaton again. Once he met its blank gaze, it bowed once more, saying, “Command as you see fit, my lord, my liege.”
He spoke the line of poetry more confidently this time. “These empty sheets are all that's left of you. / The last of all the thoughtless gifts you gave.”
There was another pause before it responded. “I will hold onto them; it's all that I can do. / I can't throw them away; I've never been that brave.” Like last time, the construct held something out to them; it appeared to have a potion in its hand. Again, Tav took hold of the gift, examining it before humming approvingly as they stuffed it into their pouch.
They all stood in silence for a few moments before Tav clapped their hands together. “Well, that was fun! I think we’re done here,” they exclaimed as they turned towards the elevator. All of a sudden, they gasped. “Oh! My ring lit up... Must’ve been linked to that button,” they said, pointing to a button that had suddenly appeared on the elevator.
As Tav and the others walked towards the platform, something made Gale hesitate. There was a nagging sensation in the back of his head, almost as if he were forgetting something.
“...Gale? You coming?” Tav asked curiously.
“Yes… Sorry,” Gale muttered as he turned towards them, but he couldn’t shake the feeling… He froze as he remembered the small torn-up piece of paper in his pocket. There was a poem on it, right? One that was soaked in tears? He felt the sudden urge to speak the words to the automaton, as if it was of dire importance that he do so. “Actually, I think I have one more poem before we go.”
He didn’t even wait for Tav to respond this time. He removed the paper from his pocket as he faced the automaton again, glancing from the paper to the construct a few times. It looked at him with its unemotional eyes as it bowed at him and said, “Command as you see fit, my lord, my liege.”
Gale carefully unfolded the paper and read over the lines again. Then, with a voice that shook ever so slightly, he said, “The silence stretches on – I'm all alone. / Please, can I hold your hands, for just a while?”
He felt like the world froze for a moment as he waited for a response from the construct.
“Of course, my love. Don’t be afraid, sweet girl. What can I do? Say, would you like a hug?”
Gale felt something catch in his throat at the words; hearing them seemed reassuring somehow. In the back of his head, he wondered if Lenore had once stood in his place, loneliness overwhelming her as she spoke to the automaton.
He nodded silently, but it seemed as if the construct didn’t respond to unspoken commands. So, he muttered just loud enough so it could hear him. “Yes, please.”
The automaton held open its arms as if encouraging Gale to meet its embrace. “Come here, just for a moment. Let it out.”
Gale took a step forward towards the construct, pressing himself into its arms. He felt it wrap its arms around him; it held him a little too tight and too low for the hug to be comfortable, as though it was meant to be hugging someone slightly shorter than him. Still, Gale found himself leaning into the embrace, bringing his own arms up to wrap around its metal frame and closing his eyes.
“Remember: you are loved, Lenore. So much. You’re doing great. Everyone will be / so proud of you. As I already am.”
His vision blurred, he felt moisture around his eyes, dripping slowly down his face. He let go of the automaton with one arm and reached up to touch his cheek, unsure of what he was feeling. Then he realized that they were his tears.
Once the realization hit, it was as though something broke inside of him and the floodgates opened; Gale found himself unable to stop the tears cascading from his eyes. He reached back towards the automaton and held it closer, disregarding the uncomfortable embrace it held him in, figuring that something, anything was better than nothing. It held him silently as he sobbed into its chest.
He cried for the overwhelming sense of loneliness and emptiness he was feeling. He cried for Lenore, knowing she had felt the same way and was uncertain how her story ended, wondering too how his would end. He cried over the fear of his looming death from the orb, that it was beyond his control and would detonate one day taking all that he loved and cared for with it. He cried over the frustration he felt that he couldn’t be of more use to the others, that he couldn’t singlehandedly solve all their problems. He cried for his mother and Tara, because he missed them so much and desperately wished to return home and see them again. He cried over his separation from his goddess, that he had damaged the relationship that they once had because of his hubris, and she had rightfully abandoned him.
He cried over his conflicted feelings for Astarion – the confusion and the regret; the anger and the sadness; the love, the loss, and the pain of it all. He cried over the fact that he had no idea if he could repair their bond or if they were destined to remain separate forevermore. He cried because he had bared his body and soul to the vampire, had opened up his heart to him, but it had been shattered into a million pieces, and he was unsure if he could put it back together again.
He cried because he didn’t know what else to do other than find solace in an unfeeling automaton’s embrace, its words comforting something deep within his soul.
Some time passed before he was able to catch his breath and regain control of his emotions. He dropped his arms from its frame, feeling the construct release him from its hold once he did so. Gale took a few steps back as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to scrub away the evidence of his emotional outburst.
Turning towards the elevator, he was immediately reminded that he wasn’t alone.
Tav, Shadowheart, and Karlach stood on the platform, having watched the whole scene unfold. Tav was frowning at him with a concerned look on their face and their arms on their hips. Shadowheart hid her emotions better, her face blank but also uncertain, arms crossed in front of her. Karlach was shuffling on her feet, looking like she was fighting back tears of her own, her hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly.
Gale walked towards the elevator, feeling a little flustered over what they had witnessed, running his hand through his hair in a nervous motion, his face scarlet and looking anywhere but directly at his companions. He stumbled over his words a bit as he spoke even though he tried to speak with a false sense of confidence. “So… shall we see where that b-button leads?”
Tav huffed as they rolled their eyes, stepping forward as they reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. Gale stood there, shocked for a moment, unsure of how to respond. He felt them squeeze their arms tighter as if signaling that it was okay for him to return the embrace.
He slowly wrapped his arms around them and bowed his head forward, burying it into their shoulder. He heard a voice tearfully say, “Fringe! Go hug him for me!” and a different voice muttering “Fine, fine,” before he felt another set of arms hesitantly embrace him as well.
If Tav noticed a damp spot on their shoulder, they said nothing of it.
⊹₊˚‧︵‿︵‿₊୨ᰔ୧₊‿︵‿︵‧˚₊⊹
Gale lost track of time for a while. He could have been in the embrace for only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
Eventually, though, he hesitantly released his companion, feeling Shadowheart’s arms let go of him as well. He stepped back and took a deep, wet breath.
“Better?” Tav asked, looking at him with a genuine smile on their face.
He nodded, actually feeling much lighter than he had when he arrived at the tower. “Much. Thank you. Thank you all,” he said, motioning to Karlach and Shadowheart as well. He paused before adding, “I apologize for my behavior as of late. I’ll strive to do better – “
“Woah, woah, woah,” Karlach interrupted, waving her hands at him, “I’m going to stop you there. You don’t have to apologize for having feelings, Gale.”
“Karlach’s right. You’ve been going through a pretty rough time since we visited the sussur tree and it only makes sense that things would come to a breaking point. If anything, I’m sorry for not being there when you needed it,” Tav interjected, and Gale could detect no hint of dishonesty in their voice. “Going forward, please don’t hesitate to talk to me if you're feeling down. Hells, talk to any of us – Wyll, Lae’zel, and Halsin included. We’re your friends and we care about you.”
Gale felt his spirits lift even more and had to stop himself from crying again. “Thank you,” he repeated, because he didn’t know how else to convey his gratitude, “Hearing you say that means more than you can imagine.”
“I have a Potion of Sleep in my tent back at camp that I’d be willing to part with if you’d like it,” Shadowheart offered, “I know you haven’t been sleeping well recently. I can’t keep using Lesser Restoration on you, after all.”
Gale smiled at the cleric. “That would be much appreciated.”
There were a few beats of pleasant silence while the group processed everything that had happened and been discussed. The automaton and animated armours stood nearby, silently watching the proceedings.
Tav clapped their hands together in a mirror of their actions earlier. “How about we go see where that button takes us, then we’ll call it a night? Or whatever passes for night around here,” they hastily added.
The three party members murmured in agreement as they walked back to the elevator, curious as to what else they would discover but also ready to head back to camp and rest.
As they pressed the button and teleported to the basement, Gale felt a little spark of hope, something he hadn’t felt in a long time.