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"Come on, Nick. You can't be that worried."
"Sorry, I forgot I was the only one here who's gotten thirty-nine lashes on his back from her whip."
Maya tutted. Ignoring the fact that Nick just compared himself to Jesus Christ, it was annoying that he was still so protective. No matter how much time passed, it seemed he was doomed to forever see her as the seventeen-year-old girl he found in Mia's office. She was an adult, now: old enough to flirt with danger.
And if she wanted to pull an April Fool's prank on Franziska von Karma, that was entirely her choice to make. Even if it did end with a lashing. Maybe it was her spiritual prowess that emboldened her, but Maya Fey wasn't afraid of death.
She ended the phone call by assuring Nick that everything would be absolutely fine, and that just because he was a little older now didn't mean he had to be so curmudgeonly. He'd barked out a laugh and assured her his hands were full enough with other things to worry about.
She had no doubts that Nick would make it out on top… but she just wished it would happen sooner. It seemed that his lot of misfortune was overstaying its welcome. She hoped things would go in his favor, for once.
She flipped her phone shut and breathed in the air of Kurain Village. Screw calendars and farmers' almanacs. This was the first week it truly felt like Spring. California had been balmy for a while, but there was a feeling everywhere that was lacking before. A bubbling feeling, like the brooks that flowed through the village forest. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and their petals carried a scent that reminded her of childhood, of peeking through the branches as she played hide-and-seek. Today, as she dealt with the mind-numbing bureaucracy of municipal leadership in musky, wooden rooms, the open windows and the stray petals floating therein only made her more restless.
So when her duties as head of the Fey clan finished, she came up with a way to spend some time outdoors soon.
It was April Fools' Day tomorrow, and it was hard for von Karma not to spring to mind. She had an affinity for that word: fool. Maya smiled, thinking to herself of all the times Franziska had flung the word at her as if it could smart like the weapon she brandished in her hands. It whipped Maya, that's for sure— just in a different way than von Karma probably intended.
So she had decided to play a harmless little ruse on the prosecutor. Just the teensiest, tiniest little ruse. There was no talking her out of it, no way, Nick—she had everything ready, and she was excited. Not to mention nervous. Now, she just needed to make one more phone call.
It had been easy, finding the line that went straight to Franziska's office. She may be Interpol, but her credentials always brought her practice to the front page of Google.
The phone hardly rang twice before a soft click came from the other end. "You are speaking to von Karma," a voice came, steely and fast. "Out with what you require, please."
"Hi, Fr— um, von Karma. It's Maya."
"Maya?" Her tone changed subtly. "Maya Fool, of the Fool clan, is it?"
Maya bit her lip. She would need to have some resolve if she was going to go through with this. That silvery, lilting, sardonic voice was enough to make her nearly hang up the phone and call it quits. It had a nerve-racking dichotomy to it: intimidating and lovely.
"Yeah, that's me. Um. I was calling because… I need your legal representation right away."
The voice at the other end of the line turned low and cool. "Have you reported this incident to the police?"
That sent a chill down Maya's spine. Man, maybe she was in over her head. "They know! I was just, um, looking for a prosecutor that could represent me."
A shuffling of papers on the other end. "Well, you have called the right one, Fraulein. I would like to know the nature of this incident post-haste. Do you have a formal testimony ready?"
"Well," Maya said, looking over the items she had put together for tomorrow, "I was wondering if you could pay me a visit so we could go over it together."
There was a pause at the other end of the line, and Maya shut her eyes tight. A feeling of carbonated anticipation sparkled in her chest.
"Very well," von Karma said, at last. "We will synthesize a testimony that will bring the culprit to their knees. Consider it a consultation, if you will— free of charge. What time do you suggest? I could be there in three hours."
"Oh," Maya said, dumbstruck. She looked at the time on her pink cellphone. It was hardly two o'clock on a weekday, and she didn't expect von Karma to drop everything so suddenly…"I was actually thinking of meeting tomorrow, if that works for you."
"Tsk," von Karma said. "It will be lost time. But… if that's what is necessary, then fine. Tomorrow afternoon."
Maya offered up the address to the Fey Clan, hoping her smile couldn't be heard too audaciously through the phone.
"Yes, the psychic village," von Karma said, the scratches of her pen in the background. Maya couldn't help being amused— of course the prodigy of the courtroom would remember a little mountain hamlet she hadn't visited in years. "This will be a quick consultation for a quick trial. I assure you, we'll make your enemies pay."
And with that, the prosecutor had hung up.
Maya held the phone in her hands as if it were a gun she'd just accidentally shot at the ceiling. Franziska von Karma will be coming to her house tomorrow. And she'd just lied to her about needing her legal representation.
She truly was an April Fool.
In the interim, she'd busied herself however she could. Her nerves refused to settle. The spirit channeling practice was fruitless; she couldn't get into the proper headspace. Meditations only allowed her mind to dither around like a damselfly over a spring pond.
By the time the afternoon of April Fool's Day rolled around, she was nearly jumping out of her skin.
All things for her mischievous plan were ready— she needed only to put herself together. She changed out of her medium robes and decided to opt for something a little more casual. After getting dressed in a lavender top and a sakura-pink skirt, she looked in the traditional cypress mirror in her bedroom.
Today was just the day her bangs would look so flat. Huffing, she took out her straightener to style them.
She knew full well why she was suddenly so concerned with her appearance. Von Karma's was as flawless as the win record she aspired to maintain in court. Her pale skin and her silvery hair reminded Maya of scrolls she'd seen of the kitsune, the nine-tailed fox: a yōkai that often held omens good and ill, who supposedly transformed at times into a beautiful woman. Though von Karma could easily be a yuki-onna as well: they were known for being particularly cold. It was said that those ethereal, wintry women could seal the fate of their lovers with an icy kiss.
She shuddered, despite the hot end of her straightener. Better not to think of yōkai at all, before she burns her hair off.
After doing her makeup, she gave herself a final once-over in the mirror and put on a little lip gloss. She hoped it wasn't too noticeable, the extra effort she was putting in.
When von Karma's car rounded the hill and over to the Fey residence, Maya had been standing there to greet her. There was no need for von Karma to enter the house proper: an outdoor meeting would spare her the culture shock. Maya didn't want the German to feel odd taking part in the spiritual cleansing ritual at the door, or fumble over taking off her heels in the genkan, or be harangued by her extended family in slipshod English. Maya understood it was a lot for most people to take in.
Besides, she had planned to pull off the April Fool's joke outdoors, in the garden. It would land better there. And she'd been intending to finally take advantage of the beautiful weather.
When von Karma came out of the car to greet her, Maya watched those slate-gray eyes appraise the surroundings with a keen acuity before landing on her. That gaze hit Maya like a cool wind, sending goosebumps up her neck despite the Spring warmth.
The prosecutor looked sharp as always, holding a charcoal colored briefcase that matched her heels. That face of hers, angular and gamine, was set in determination. "Maya Fool," she said, outstretching a gloved hand.
Maya couldn't help it; this was going to be too much fun, and Franziska was actually here. Her mischievousness melded with another emotion, just as light and playful. She took Franziska's glove in both hands, holding tight as she shook it. "Franziska," she said, "It's so good to see you!"
Von Karma seemed to flinch. Her hand fell limp by her side, without the hilt of a whip to grasp onto. "Quite spirited, are we? I presume you are excited to make the enemy reap what they've sown."
"That's right!" Maya steepled her fingers together, rocking on her heels. She hoped all her fidgeting and enthusiasm wouldn't give her away. "I figured that we could have the consultation in the family garden, since it's a nice day out."
von Karma crossed her arms, getting a survey of the land. "That is permissible," she clipped.
Maya could clap her hands together. She could lead Franziska by the hand, skipping all the way. But she had to remind herself to be calm, lest she spoil the sport before it had even begun. As she led von Karma past the gates into the family garden, she silently practiced a breathing technique she'd learned in her training.
This was going to be fun.
How foolish of Maya Fey to postpone her consultation by a full day, thought Franziska. Perhaps it was because of her upbringing in these mountains, but the psychic lacked all sense of urgency. There were many tales about how the spiritual types trained themselves in the virtue of patience.
But patience is ill becoming of a prosecutor. Any worth their salt does not give the criminal time to recuperate and agree on false alibis; she strikes when the iron is hot. It would have been far more prudent to have the meeting on March 31st. But today would have to do.
She could forgive Maya Fool's oversight for one reason only: it still meant they would be seeing each other again, and soon.
When she'd heard that voice through the phone, it almost felt natural, seasonal. That spirited, warbling tone was as due to an April day as any returning lark's. Of course that pretty flighty thing migrates back into her life the moment the outdoors seems to awaken. Reminding Franziska in glimpses out the window, there was life beyond cases. Desires she had beyond professional life.
But the professional always seemed to bleed into the personal. When Franziska pulled into the outskirts of Kurain Village, she was reminded instantly of an old case. It was here, several years ago, that she investigated a murder involving a spirit channeling. The first case she'd ever lost. The case where she had endeavored to prove Miss Fey guilty on all charges.
She winced beneath her breath as she drove through. How… utterly wrong she had been. She would not have made such a foolish error if she had been more exacting. Maya Fey always insisted since then that she bore no grudge, which was baffling. A von Karma knows that such a blunder is inexcusable.
Soon, the house of the Fey Clan came into view, its traditional minka roof striking against the skyline.
When Franziska got out of her car, she hadn't been expected to be greeted in the driveway— or the dusty patch of earth that served that purpose. There were no paved roads in this village. Driving had been hellish.
But my, if hellish was the cost for such a sight… well, von Karma may have the fortitude.
Maya Fey was beautiful. Franziska had seen her some months ago, but it struck her now that the years since they'd met had only made Maya's features more becoming. The childish curl of her lip had smoothed and shone with a gloss the color of cherry blossom. Her hooded eyes looked joyful as ever, but this was a steady sort of joy, one earned from years of coming into one's own. She was a master of her discipline and the head of her clan. Both seemed to agree with her, giving her an air of self-confidence that von Karma found captivating.
She was still taking in her face when Maya Fey reached out and took her hand with soft, warm fingers. Von Karma cursed at herself for being so foolish as to wear gloves on a day such as this. When she would be shaking hands with such a woman.
In her flustered state, she had said something obtuse about Maya's warm welcome. She hardly even remembered how she'd phrased it. Maya laughed and talked and ushered them along, and Franziska was glad for it; she needed time to recuperate.
So, they were to speak in a garden. Maya led her through a gate with a wide cypress arch, revealing a cultivated swath of grass and stepping stones flanked on all sides by flora. It was far more refined than Franziska would have expected to find in a little mountain valley. She'd noticed flowers of imported species, native to East Asia: azaleas, irises, and hydrangeas ballooned in pinks and purples. The sakura trees were in full bloom, their petals falling languidly over the pathway. She wondered if Maya Fey tended to this garden herself, as head of the clan. Wondered if Maya had chosen these flowers because they were her favorite colors.
Miss Fey paused at a cypress bench some ways from the stepping stone path, smoothing her skirt as she sat. Then she patted the open space next to her, looking up at Franziska expectantly. The prosecutor's eye was drawn to a stray petal that had fallen in that black hair, thought briefly of reaching out to fix it—
Scheiße. Von Karma needed to regain her control this very instant. She was not here to gawk at the psychic medium, but to do her job. And nothing could get between her and a job well done.
She took the seat next to Maya Fey, mindful to keep a professional distance.
"So," She said, pulling the sleeve of her shirt as she mastered herself, "Tell me about the nature of this incident. I had looked into the police reports filed in the past twenty-four hours, but I did not find a mention of your name."
Maya Fey seemed to startle at this. "Oh, that's, um… weird. Really weird." She looked up and over to the right, as if pondering the topic deeply. Then she waved a hand. "Well, don't worry about that! I can tell you everything you need to know, so. That's fine."
"Very well. " Franziska opened the charcoal briefcase propped against the bench, and took out her writing implements. She quickly had her notepad ready in her lap and her fountain pen in hand. "The nature of the crime, please."
"Well, I guess you could classify it as a hit and run," Maya said, shrugging.
Von Karma clenched her pen. "How utterly cowardly," she hissed. "A drive-by is the crime of a yellow-bellied pansy. So you were struck?" She examined Maya, her pupils darting from her shoulders to her feet. "Are you hurt? Have you been to a hospital yet, following the events? We can go there now." She put both hands on the bench, as if ready to vault up any second.
Maya's eyes widened. "W-wh… no, I'm not hurt. I'm fine, promise."
She gave Maya Fey a cutting glance. She hoped that she was being honest. Only partially satisfied, she clicked her pen, jotting down her first notes. "They. You speak in the plural. There was more than one offender?"
"Oh, yeah, definitely more than one."
"How many, would you say?"
Maya squinted, tapping her chin. "Man, it's hard to say. Three? Five? It was hard to tell. You know. Because of the car." A curious smile, there. Von Karma paid it no mind; Maya Fey often smiled when it made little sense.
"Are you referring to tinted windows? What was the make and model of the car?"
Maya Fey shrugged, then held out her arm. "I don't know. It was yay tall. Blue and yellow. Had a big, um," she coughed a little here, "giant red nose thingy at the front of it."
Von Karma paused in the taking of her notes. "It sounds like what you're describing is a… clown car."
"Yeah, it was one of those," Maya said, snapping her fingers. "Had to be."
Von Karma took the notes succinctly. Hit and run by a clown car.
"I detest clowns," she said quickly as she scribbled. "How very asinine they are to be fools for a living." She recalled with distaste the pitiful ragtag group from that circus she investigated nearly a decade ago. How intolerable those men were. If she and her whip were given free rein, she would have shown them what a real animal tamer looked like.
Maya laughed. "Yeah, I got to say, I don't like them much either. From experience." She seemed utterly amused. Von Karma couldn't understand it. When she loathed others, the last thing she wanted to do was laugh.
"So, this… clown car…" von Karma continued. Maya Fey made a sound like a sputtering water faucet, but von Karma politely ignored it. "You insist you are unhurt. They didn't hit you?"
"No, nothing like that."
"What, then, was their offense?"
"Well, you wouldn't believe it," Maya said, smile brimming, "but they had rolled down one of the windows, and they threw something at me."
Von Karma startled. "Why—! The audacity!" She took her notes down angrily. "Their tires will be slashed to shreds with my whip, I guarantee you." She stalled her notes to look at Maya. "What did they throw at you? Was it a blunt object? A weapon?"
"I still have the evidence, if you want to take a look at it yourself."
Von Karma nodded approvingly, adding that to her list. "Ah, so you thought to keep the very thing they threw at you, to incriminate them later. Smart girl."
Maya didn't respond to that, and Franziska's eyes were on her notepad. She hoped she hadn't said something idiotic; she could not trust her tongue at times in her presence.
"I'll go get it," she said hurriedly, and with a ruffle of her skirt, the medium was suddenly up from the bench. She disappeared into the house of the Fey Clan.
That skirt suited Maya Fey quite well, von Karma thought as she sat alone in the garden. Pink was becoming on her.
She shut her eyes and scolded herself. The task at hand comes first, she reminded herself. Foolish thoughts later.
Opening her eyes once again, she took the alone time to review her notes. A drive-by committed by criminal clowns. This was proving to be quite an odd case, yet… she had surely had her fair share of odd cases. She hoped the culprits did not find opportunity in the past forty-eight hours to peel off completely. Or worse, had already found representation in that abhorrent Phoenix Wright. The perfect ringleader for such shenanigans.
She set her notepad down on her lap. As her eyes landed on the Fey house, its sloping above the florals of the traditional Japanese garden, her resolve only hardened. This is where she had made an error in judgment, all those years ago. This trial would be a small way to atone, to make things up to the psychic medium. She did recall that Maya liked the same foolish show as Miles Edgeworth, the one where beautiful daughters of the daimyo were whisked away by valiant young samurai, honor-bound to defend them from wrongdoers. Was that part of the show's appeal, to Maya? Did she ever... wish someone would defend her?
Franziska could do that. Will do it. She was no samurai, but her determination was steel.
Suddenly, Franziska was roused by her lofty ambitions by the sound of approaching footsteps. It was Maya Fey again, and Franziska was surprised to find that she was holding a towel of some kind, and a basket. She walked over the rock path and past the bench where von Karma was, out towards the edge of the garden where the sakura trees clustered. She picked out a grassy spot and laid the towel down, smoothing out the edges. As though she were getting ready for a… picnic?
"Just getting the evidence ready," Maya said, a full grin on her face. "Don't want it to, um. Get dirt on it or anything."
Franziska was a little confused, but approving nonetheless. Civilians did not have evidence bags; they had picnic blankets. She stored this away in her mental filing cabinet for future reference. Then, she rose from the bench to meet Maya where she was sitting, smoothing her skirt against her tights.
Maya then sat on her heels and took out the basket from under her arm. She set it down between her and Franziska and opened the wooden lid. Inside, there was a bottle of some sort… and a pie. Quite a sizeable one, at that.
She placed the pie on the picnic blanket and looked up at Franziska, her eyes glinting with mirth. "This is it. The evidence."
"This is what the accused threw at you?" She bent forward to inspect it. "The... pie?"
"Yep. Just straight out of the car. A giant pie." Maya Fey's smile was going as strong as ever, and she was holding her sides as if… experiencing some kind of abdominal pain.
Franziska scrutinized the pie, removed her gloves to prod the crust of it with two fingers. It gave easily— she believed it must be cherry. It seemed as if it were just warmed in the oven.
"Well, this hardly makes any sense," she muttered to herself. "If it were thrown at you, shouldn't it be disheveled? It looks as though it were freshly baked." She wiped her fingers with a handkerchief in her vest pocket. "Yet I suppose that if you're saying it's the same brand, I could track down the bakery in question. I could quite easily interrogate the proprietor and search his ledger, and ascertain if they'd had any customers in the past forty-eight hours who—"
"Franziska," Maya said, splitting with laughter. "Oh my gosh."
The prosecutor froze. "What?"
Maya propped herself back on the heel of one palm, the other held up to her face. Gott, that laughter was so sweet. Like the wind chimes dancing on the ginkgo tree, at the garden's end. "It's an April Fool's joke," she managed to say, wiping a tear from her eye.
"An… April Fool's joke?" Franziska looked from the pie back to Maya Fey. She carefully put the handkerchief back in her pocket. "So you are saying…there was, in fact, no hit and run?"
"Yeah. I was never, uh, pie-blasted by a posse of clowns in a little clown car." She nearly hiccuped. "You really thought—"
Franziska grabbed Maya's wrist. Fast.
She pulled her close, so that their noses were only inches apart.
"Maya Fool," she said through gritted teeth. "You… meant to play an elaborate trick on me? Is that what you mean to say?"
Maya's eyes rounded. She seemed to go pale and then flush within mere moments. "U-um, kind of… yeah," she said. Then she added hurriedly, "Because I thought it would be funny if you came over thinking you'd have to represent me in court, but then you actually didn't, and we could just kind of… eat this pie that I made… and kind of… enjoy the afternoon together?"
Franziska's nerves were on fire. This ploy… this means of catching her unawares, of making a fool out of her… she wanted to feel angry. How dare this Maya Fey try to paint her for a gullible half-wit? Lead her up the garden path, both literally and figuratively? How dare she…
How dare she toy with her like that, and make her second-guess herself, and… how dare she set up a picnic for the two of them… to enjoy on a beautiful day in April… knowing Franziska would show up to protect her…
She wanted to lash out. She wanted to convey some kind of emotion.
Gott, she wanted to kiss Maya Fey.
Their faces were so close. The tint of Maya's lip gloss caught in the light and shimmered. Another sign of the medium's sheer audacity— to wear something so inviting there, to add an extra layer of temptation to an already pretty face. But she would not give in. Giving in would be thoughtless, careless…
"Hey," Maya said, a little breathless. "I could pull away, you know."
Franziska glared at her from under her lashes. "Then why haven't you?"
Those black eyes fluttered a little in response, as if the question were surprising. Then those warm, soft fingers pressed against Franziska's free hand, which had been propped on the picnic blanket. "Because I might want you to share how you feel."
"How I feel? I am incensed. I am— full of righteous indignation. For you to take such measures to con me." She couldn't help it; her voice was beginning to go uneven. She took her hand out from under Maya's, quickly clasping her other wrist. She hoped it wasn't evident how her fingers trembled. "You dare to wound a von Karma's pride in this way? Have you any idea who it is you invite to your house— who you're trying to make a fool of?" She tried to sound cutting and dangerous, that last resort against a final blow that would tear her guard down completely. Her pulse was thrumming.
Maya's eyes seemed to search Franziska, curious. Then they settled into a taunting, heavy look beneath the fringe of her bangs. It was a look that made Franziska's stomach flip. "I thought I was the fool." And with that, she smiled and moved a touch closer. Her pretty mouth was only a breath away. "Aren't I?"
Franziska's pulse was racing. A von Karma doesn't allow such taunts. She doesn't let herself be bested. And she certainly doesn't let a beautiful woman she'd been thinking about, for years, stay hovering at the very precipice, teasing her with a fey, otherworldly charm. Unthinkable.
"Yes," Franziska sighed, and she closed the distance between them.
As soon as their lips met, she could barely suppress a murmur over the slickness of that lip gloss— curse her, and her fey tricks. She had most definitely planned that, hadn't she? Just another layer to her dastardly, lovely plans. Yet von Karma could feel vindictive about it at a later time. At that moment, she was rapt by the willingness that met her, that Maya's lips moved with hers in a rhythm that seemed practiced. Dare she say anticipatory.
She thought back to the sound of Maya's voice on the phone, how it felt seasonal, in a way. This, too, felt like a given change of the seasons.
Before she knew it, Franziska let go of Maya's wrists to clasp her jaw. Her fingers wove through that silky black hair, and it was even softer than she had previously imagined. Maya's lips were just as soft, like cherry petals. And as she pressed there, they gave way to a hot mouth.
Their eyes glimpsed one another for a passing moment, but the spell the Fey fairy had cast was not so easily broken. Their lips met again, more certain this time. More insistent.
Franziska didn't know the last time she'd kissed someone like this. In the back of her mind, it heralded an entirely strange, new thought.
Up to this point, she had thought perfection was something produced by cold, calculating exactness. A byproduct of struggle, and effort, and pain, something weeded out and trimmed until it was seemly.
How wrong she had been. Perfection could be organic, too. It could be a thing that rises unwittingly from the soil of a moment and springs, unheeded, by a chance rain. In this garden, with those lips on hers, Franziska felt like one of the flowers, unfurling naturally and haphazardly with the sun.
Maya broke away for air, her face in full bloom. Her bangs fell a little askew on her forehead, and one of her hair beads hung a touch lower than the other. It was a pretty sight, Franziska thought. That flustered look was yet another example of organic perfection. And certainly worth the drive.
"Happy April Fools," Maya said, her voice deliciously low, and an utterly stupid grin on her face.
This pretty thing. This lovely little bird. Franziska couldn't help but let the trace of her own smile take hold. "Ah, yes, a holiday worth celebrating." Gently, she held Maya's chin in her fingers, surveying that face. Taking her time, knowing it was all hers to spare. The psychic mediums may have been right about all those trainings about patience. "Tell me: does this mean you will be my fool?"
Maya seemed to give into her touch, her head tilting easily. Her eyes shimmered, dark as lacquered cypress, and just as artful. "Happily," she managed to say, before their lips joined once again.