Work Text:
What was he doing?
Why didn’t he say no?
How was this getting worse?
Who did Etho think he was to have this level of control over Joel?
And why did Joel let him?
It felt like everyone’s eyes were on Joel as he followed Etho. He kept his head faced down, staring at his hand intertwined with Etho’s, for anytime he looked up he made eye contact with some stranger. And he hated that. Plus, he trusted Etho to lead him.
And he hated that, too. Not because of Etho, but because of his own weird feelings.
It made sense to Joel to trust Gem, Jimmy, and Grian — they were his friends. But Etho? He had known the guy for about a month, and he felt a stronger sense of trust in him compared to his own friends. He felt like he could crawl into Etho’s arms and just stay there without a care in the world.
And there was that part of him that he was desperately trying to suppress that wanted to do just that.
Slowly the city started to turn into a neighborhood. One Joel had never seen before. He lifted his head and turned it occasionally to view all the new surroundings. If he had to guess, this was where Etho lived.
The fox turned into a mostly empty parking lot at the base of an apartment complex similar to Joel’s. He was led by the Etho down the asphalt and up a flight of stairs to apartment number twenty-six, making a quick mental note of that number.
Their silence was broken as Etho pulled a jumble of keys from his pocket. “Stay out here for a second.”
Joel nodded, shoving his hands into the pocket on the front of his hoodie. It was too cold for this.
But Etho returned pretty quickly, holding a very full paper bag. What it was full of Joel couldn’t tell. But it didn’t even matter when his hand was taken and he started to be led up another flight of stairs on the side of the building.
It simply led to the roof, which was flat and had a slight higher lip around it. There was a snow shovel resting on one of the edges, covered in the exact thing it’s supposed to remove.
Etho sighed softly, dropping the bag and Joel’s hand to pick up said shovel, pushing the thin layer of snow close to the opposite end of the roof. He returned the shovel to its resting place and pulled some blanket or towel from the paper bag. It replaced the layer of snow that had been there previously.
Heat rushed up to Joel’s face. It was starting to click what Etho was doing, and man it made his stomach hurt again.
The fox gestured with a hand for him to sit down, following suit after Joel had made himself as comfortable as possible.
“Welcome to my little escape.” Etho’s voice nearly made Joel jump because of its clarity. It wasn’t slightly muffled like usual. His head spun around to witness heaven on earth.
Etho’s smile.
That damn smile he had only ever shown through his eyes.
And that stupid sparkle was still there.
Now Joel is a stubborn soul, so he would never admit Grian was right, but he was getting the feeling that this wasn’t just some weirdo feeling.
Impulses rushed through his mind. He wanted to hold that stupid face. He wanted to stare into those damn sparkly eyes forever. He wanted to stay. He wanted this.
Etho had slightly moved closer, staring directly into Joel’s mind and heart. It was impossible to not be enamored by it.
He tried to speak, but stumbled over every sound that came out of his mouth. His stomach hurt more than ever, his heartbeat the fastest he’d ever felt. It was overwhelming, and he could do nothing but stare.
The fox placed a hand atop one of Joel’s, still wearing that divine smile. “I’ve never seen you so quiet.”
Don’t do it, his mind tried to scream over the urges in his heart. Ignore how easy it’d be.
He tried clearing his throat to clear his head to form some normal sentence. “I just uh…” He exhaled heavily. “You’re so..”
“We don’t have to talk. We can just sit. I brought some snacks up.”
“No that’s not it — I just —“
Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t do it.
Just do it.
Fuck it.
He placed a hand on Etho’s cheek, gently pulling it closer and closer and closer until they met. He would regret this later, but that was a later Joel problem as current Joel was tasting that same heavenly smile.
Nothing except Etho mattered anymore. It didn’t matter that his lips were slightly chapped and he arguably sucked at kissing. It didn’t matter that the snow was only getting worse and it didn’t matter that a phone was going off. The snacks didn’t matter when Joel had Etho. Nothing did.
Air wasn’t necessary. Warmth and happiness were within Etho. Shelter was in Etho’s arms, which had found their way around Joel’s back at some point.
Etho was everything Joel needed at this point.