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I'm Illiben. And no one ever believed me. Not once. They thought I was insane or unwell. No one ever believes me when I say they are out to get me. Out to take everything away from me. Out for my blood, every last drop of it. I know they exist. I see them everywhere I go. There is no escaping them. Their shadows. Their sharp teeth. I can't imagine having those needles, scraping against my pale skin. Searching for my veins. Then sucking out my soul. I never leave my apartment.
My sister Mickey is worried about me. And it's been getting more and more obvious lately. She tells me to stop locking myself inside and get sun. She tells me she believes me and that she doesn't think I'm crazy. But it's painfully obvious that she considers me confused Or mentally unwell. She pities me for it. Acts like I'm helpless. As much as I appreciate her concern and how much she comes to check on me I do wish she genuinely did believe me. She keeps calling me about some party her coworkers are throwing. Telling me her friends at work would love to meet me. And how I needed human interaction. She works at some game-stop down the street. I'm lucky she lives so close. I still don't understand what's so exciting that her coworkers are partying but I'm happy she's making friends. Last I heard the party would be soon. She said it was at some bar not too far. Within walking distance. That was till tonight. My phone buzzed. It was a text from Mickey. She was asking me if I would come down to the bar tomorrow.
And as much as I wished to deny it, I knew she was already worried about me. So I decided to go. Even as much as the idea of being so exposed frightened me. I didn’t sleep too well that night. The dark is when the creatures come out. I try to stay awake as much as I can. If I'm awake I can see them. If I'm awake maybe they won't try to get me.
That night I might’ve dozed off maybe once or twice.
But definitely not enough to have had a good night's rest.
I spent the rest of the day thinking.
What if Mickey’s coworkers were blood sucking monsters?
What if they try to get me?
What if…
But that didn't matter
I still had to attend.
10:00pm. I put on my grey and black scarf, my black rain coat and some gloves. I stuffed my house key and a lighter. I had made sure to bring my cross necklace and some garlic in case..y’know.
Mickey told me to quit worrying. Told me she was sure they were safe. And I wish that assured me as much as she intended it to. But I knew she didn’t believe me. Just like everyone else. She wasn’t as keen on this sort of detail. This was more of a me thing. Even if she was right. It wouldn't hurt to get my opinion on it.
So I prepared myself mentally. I don’t think I had even left the house in a week before that. It's kind of the importance that get me out the door and into the sunlight. Or moonlight in this case. But luckily it wasn’t too dark. Not dark enough that I wouldn't be able to see if someone or something was to try and get me. It was just a small walk. I kept looking around to make sure I was alone. I lit a cigarette to try and calm down. Taking in breaths through the stick between my fingers. Sighing out smoke as I got closer to the bar. I stomped out the dead cigar with my boot and walked it. It was pretty empty. This bar I had heard was never really full. I saw the table they were at. Less of a party. More of a chat. It was rather quiet and chill in the warmth of the bar. I did feel bad for littering. But still that thought was more of a little voice compared to the one yelling at me that I was going to be bitten and sucked dry by one of the people at the bar. But I still gathered my thoughts and threw them out the window so I could stand by Mickey. She was the only person I was sure wasn't going to kill me tonight.
I looked around at her coworkers. She even introduced me to a few of them. I greeted them, chatted for a bit, then they went back to laughing and doing their own things. It felt okay for a while. Mickey looked happy. But one of them caught my eye. Mickey saw me staring a bit and told me he was a friend of hers. She invited him to come along too. She thought I'd like to meet him.
“This is Warren” she raised her voice to gather his attention while tapping him lightly on the shoulder.
He was shorter, pale skinned and had brown eyes and piercings. He wore a black shirt, fingerless gloves, a studded belt, black spiky hair, a denim jacket and skinny jeans with rips in the knees. I pushed my square glasses further up my nose to get a better look. I felt a weird twisting low in my stomach. Something that warned me to get away. That he wasn’t safe. It felt wrong. Like he didn't fit in. Like he wasn’t normal. wasn't from here.
He must've not seen the look on my face. Or maybe he had one too many drinks. Because he smiled at me and came over.
“Oh Hi! You must be Mick’s brother. She told me about you. Illi, right?”
“Illiben” I corrected.
“Oh…well I'm just gonna call you Illi.”
He giggled a little, A stupid laugh. Too high pitched like a girls. And too loud to be funny.
And yet I couldn't help but smile a little. I don't know why I did. He wasn't funny or in any way smart. And he looked intimidating. Too much like the exact monsters that terrify me so much I can't sleep.
But I still smiled. I still moved away and tugged on the end of my scarf. Afraid he might suddenly try to puncture my neck with his sharp canines and make a juice box of me.
He was rambling something to Mickey but I was just a little more stuck in my head about all the ways this guy could be a danger. How I might be able to catch him for it. How he might try to rip into my skin and squeeze all the blood out of me. Until Mickey grabbed my gloved hand and asked if I was okay. I hadn’t even realized I was staring at the floor until I felt her grab my hand.
She asked me what was wrong. Her voice wavered as she questioned.
As if she already knew the answer.
But I hesitated. I couldn’t repeat the same words I had spoken over and over again.
Not when they just sank into lies on my tongue.
Not when they fell into a pit so deep no one cared to even look into.
Not when they are the same words that I believed in to the point of isolation and a title of zero sanity.
I told her I was tired. That I just needed air.
She squinted her eyes and rubbed circles on the back of my gloved hands.
She said “okay”. Elongated and in a lowered tone. She didn’t believe me.
Even when I gave her a more likeable response.
Even when I spoke a lie more believable than the actual truth.
But thankfully she didn’t hold onto her suspicion. She let go of my hand and looked away again.
“Go get some air…Okay?”
I just nodded and walked to the door.
I didn’t want to be in the dark, it still ran risk.
But Warren definitely wasn’t safe either. Something about him makes me want to run and hide.
When I opened the door and exited the cool night air pricked my warm cheeks. It was much warmer inside.
The night would be calming. That is if I didn't believe in what lived in it.
I remember back when I was a teenager. Me and Mikey were in school together.
I had woken up one night. Bad dreams had started happening. I kept waking up for days. I thought it was bad luck. But one night I saw it. For the very first time. A tall figure with pale skin and sharp teeth like a jaguar. Watching me with bright red hungry eyes and dressed in black. It looked like a corpse rised from its very coffin. I couldn’t move. Like I was hypnotized. But when I blinked it had disappeared. I sat there for a moment. Shocked. I couldn’t tell if it was just another nightmare or not. That night I had woken Mickey up. The first person I ever told. She told me it wasn’t real. Just a nightmare. I believed her. But she didn’t believe me. It followed me everywhere I went. Different corpses looming over me. Every day.I began obsessing over these creatures, Studying them. I drew them every class. My grades began dropping rapidly. I couldn’t focus on school and I became more jumpy. I clung to Mickey a bit. She kept reassuring me but the experience was messing with my life. Kids started picking on me and calling me weird for believing them. Teachers were concerned. But I guess not enough to actually ask me anything.
I started wearing a black and grey scarf Mickey had gifted me years ago. I wore it to cover my neck. And I wore crosses under it to repel them. They were after me. They would get me. I knew they would.
Vampires will hurt me.
They will get me.
But no one believes me. No one will help me.
I decided to go home. I can text Mickey when I get there. But right now the last thing I need to do is be in a bar with strangers. With Them. I shoved my hands in my pockets. But right after I felt two hands grabbing my arms from behind. Someone leaning close to my face.
They’re here..They’ve got me. This is it. The Vampires are going to hurt me.
I screamed and pulled away.
But then I heard giggling. I recognized it.
The high pitched girlish giggles. I flipped around.
It was Warren, That bastard.
I definitely thought Warren was going to drink my blood.
Seeing that it was Warren didn’t calm me down at all.
It was his giggling that confused me.
Was he trying to get caught? Playing it off as a joke?
But either way he gave me a nervous smirk and pulled away.
“Jesus, I didn't know you were such a scaredy-cat Illi”
Warren bit on the piercing on his lip and scraped the ground with his shoe. I could see his warm breath in the cold air.
“...”
I stayed silent. Confused and also pretty pissed off that he either was trying to suck my blood and kill me or attempted and nearly succeeded at giving me a massive heart attack. Mickey was very wrong when she said me n Warren would get along well. She couldn’t have found a guy more like a vampire than him. I considered stabbing him with a stick briefly before weighing the pros and cons of a life sentence for murder of this guy.
Warren just made some stupid joke about scaring the rest of me dead next time. Then asked why I was outside staring off.
I: “..Thinking. I might head home early. I'm pretty tired.”
W: “Well, no kidding. You look like crap…Not in that way tho. You just look like you haven’t slept in years”
He wasn’t exactly wrong on that. But being alone in the dark with who was most likely a vampire was making my skin crawl like bugs were squirming around under it.
I had to get away from him fast. But at the same time I felt this terrifying burning curiosity. Was he really a vampire?
I had to ignore the feeling so far. I couldn’t have him catch on yet. Me and Warren exchanged numbers.
I told Mickey I was exhausted and needed rest. She understood and wished me well. She also told me her and Warren were going to hang out next week.
She had invited me to tag along.
This would be a good opportunity to try and find out somehow. That and if Warren was a vampire I wouldn’t want Mickey alone with him.
Seven sleepless nights passed.
I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Was he really one of them?
About a day ago I saw it again. I heard a knocking on the door. So I looked through the peep hole. There it was. The blood drinking corpse of the night.
The one that wants all of my life.
Standing right outside my door.
Knocking. Begging me to say “come in”.
Though I knew it couldn’t enter without my permission, I still felt the chill of its red soulless eyes and the numbing tingle in my legs.
They may have to ask for permission to enter my home. But I know they won't ask to bite.
Every time I'm outside I carry rice grains and roses in my pockets.
Every time I'm outside I carry garlic and crosses around my neck on a chain.
Everytime im outside.
Which is little to never. I dread the week as it passes.
Vampires ask permission to enter. Now the vampire is giving me permission.
What if he just wants to eat me and my sister?
But the curiosity that killed a cat might just kill me too.
I end up going.
Before I know it I'm in his car.
Mickey said she was going to have her girlfriend Petearia drive her.
Pete and Mickey have been together for four years. They lived together. Practically inseparable.
Petearia is a bit weird but cool in my opinion. When Mickey introduced us for the first time I thought Pete was a vampire. But when Mickey went to the fair all three of us Pete was eating garlic fries the entire time. Pete and I have hung out together playing video games. I think she's safe.
Warren's car was dirty. Full of empty soda cans and trash. The car itself isn’t horrible, Just filthy
I: “Do you ever clean this? It looks like a dump.”
W: “Nope. I'll clean it…at some point.”
I: “Yuck. No you wont”
W: “You’ll live.”
We kept driving for a few minutes before we got to his house. We got there before Mickey and Petearia.
It felt weird and uncomfortable being alone with someone I've spent so much time worrying about.
He grins at me and walks me inside. It's an apartment. The first thing I spot is the couch and a TV with a game console set up to it. Some controllers next to it. The house doesn't look bad. Some clothes on the floor and couch though.
W: “Well…Make yourself comfortable. Mick and Pete should be here soon. You wanna drink or something?”
I: “No thanks, I'm good. I thought your place would be messier considering your car.”
W: “Actually…I had to clean it before you arrived.”
He spoke with slight teasing shame.
I: “heh, I assumed so.”
Me and Warren chatted for a while. We even played a game or two together.
I had forgotten about the whole vampire thing.
Warren actually didn’t seem too bad.
Pete and Mickey arrived after a while.
Warren teased them and called them “Lovebirds” and “Teenage sweethearts” as they walked in.
The day was fun. Warren chugged sodas like water, Mickey killed everyone on Mario kart. Pete and Warren got along well together too. I felt more relaxed. Maybe Warren wasn’t a monster.
Pete and Mickey went home together. I stayed to play a few more games with Warren.
I probably misjudged him. I was feeling fine. More relaxed than I had been in a long time.
I went to the bathroom for a minute. Just a minute. But when I got there, while washing my hands I saw it.
Those same red eyes. Same unbreakable eye contact. Staring through my eyes. Through my skin and by blood. Staring through all the emotions, all the memories and all the knowledge and personality I've ever built up for myself. Staring right into my soul. I fumbled for a minute. Knocked down some soap and a toothbrush on the sink. I had to stabilize my balance. It's here. They’re here. They’re here to hurt me. I'm never safe. No one is holding them back. They’re going to get me. I'm stuck in a house with a guy who could be exactly what's trying to get me. He's trapped me. This was his plan. He's going to kill me and drink my blood. I felt dizzy, unsafe, exposed. I ran down the hall. Nearly tripping. Warren saw me running and asked what was going on. I ignored him. Bolted for the door but then realized I couldn’t go out there. It's dark. I'll be surrounded. Too open. I collapsed. Shaking. I couldn’t breathe. Warren ran over.
W: “Illi? Are you okay? What's wrong?”
I: “Don’t come near me! Don’t suck my blood!”
Warren paused for a minute. He looked at me like I had just said something outrageous.
Of course he didn’t believe me. But he wasn’t drinking my blood. He wasn’t flashing his fangs.
Wasn’t staring at me. His eyes weren’t red. He wasn’t as pale as I thought. And his canines weren’t as sharp as they looked before.
He put a hand on my shoulder and looked in my eyes.
“I'm not going to drink your blood. What's going on? What's got you as pale as a ghost?”
It’s then I realized. He doesn't look like a monster. He isn’t out to get me like the world.
He isn't going to hurt me.
I: “...Vampires…They’re out to get me. They want to hurt me..I keep seeing them wherever I go.”
…
He gave me a funny look. Not a disbelieving one. Not the one I've gotten for so long
That stares me in my eyes and tells me “I don't believe you.”
It's one of interest. One of concern, One that wants to know.
W: “...Vampires?”
I: “...yes. I'm not insane. I swear. They’re real. They are out for me.”
W: “I…didn’t say you were. I can’t say I totally believe that. But you look so frightened, at least a good half of me has to be convinced.”
I: “...Warren, I can’t go out there. I can’t. They’ll kill me.”
W: “Calm down Illi. You can crash here if you want?
I won't let them hurt you.”
Warren wipes my cheek with his sleeve. I feel a tear get dried up. A tear I hadn’t noticed had escaped.
I: “..you won’t?”
W: “ Promise.”
That night I ended up cuddled in a blanket next to Warren. We watched Batman together and drank hot cocoa. I fell asleep. When I woke up in the morning, I felt well rested. It was the best sleep I've had in a long while. I didn’t feel scared. I didn’t feel like anything would get me anymore. Warren was still by my side. Letting me lean on him. He was already asleep. The TV was still on.
I: “...You’re already up?”
W: “..mhm”
I: “Did you even sleep?”
W: “...I was protecting you, I promised.”
I: "..You’re sweet”
Warren looked over to his side and pulled me closer. He kissed me. I was surprised for a moment. It wasn’t bad. Just very very sudden
When he pulled away my eyes landed on his lips. I saw it.
He did have fangs. It wasn’t my imagination.
It was real.
My eyes must’ve tricked me.
Then he whispered. Finishing my sentences.
W: “For a vampire?”
That's why he believed me,
He was one of them.
He would never hurt me.
He protected me from them.
He believed me when the world hadn’t.