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You were well and truly pissed. Had been since your commander had flown off the handle several hours ago and made a massive headache for your entire team that just seemed to get bigger and bigger the longer you thought about the consequences.
The fear you felt for all five of your lives as you fought your way through the streets of Venice quickly melted down to rage as soon as the hatch closed and you left the city’s airspace.
Blackwatch had had close calls before. Plenty of times. Hell, more times than you would care to count. This was different though. The fallout of Reyes’s decision was going to ripple for a long time, you could feel it.
The comforting thing, at least, was that you were not alone in your distaste as you silently - and maybe a little too aggressively - safetied and put away your weapons and gear. While your anger simmered and burned inside you, Cole Cassidy’s exploded next to you. He and Gabriel yelled at each other for a good hour on the trip home, O’Dearain unhelpfully chiming in likely for her own amusement. You and Genji, sat quiet, though for different reasons.
Gabriel made the mistake of jokingly asking for your help only once. He had, in years past, teased you endlessly for the crush he thought you had on the cowboy. You had been one of Reyes’s favorite operatives once you’d accepted his offered position in the black ops division. You had a somewhat familial relationship, at least in the past. But something had changed in him around the time Moira joined your ranks, and you hadn’t liked it, not one bit. If his action tonight of just killing Antonio was any indication, you had been right to be concerned.
“[Surname], can’t you get the cowpoke off my back? He listens to you.”
If you’d been in a better mood, you’d have responded with something like, “Would if he actually did,” but that wasn’t gonna happen. Not tonight.
The glare you gave your commanding officer must have been fierce, because he did not ask again.
Cole settled eventually, peeking over to catch your shaking hands as you stared at the gun metal gray floor. Surprising himself even with his lack of witty little comment, Cole slowly grabbed the hand closest to him, his mouth shifting in a noncommittal turn that wanted to be a smile but didn’t quite manage it. You two sat like that until the ship landed.
You were out of there, quick as a shot. It had been everything you could do to just sit in that craft without blowing up. You had to get out and away, now.
“Hey, where’s the fire?” Gabriel called. He called your surname a time or two after that as you stalked to the bay door. Morrison and Ana Amari were already there waiting for you all. You didn’t care.
Finally, when you were almost out. When you could clearly see the looks of confusion and concern painted on Morrison and Amari’s respective faces, Reyes called your name and shouted, “Get your ass back here! We’ve got a debriefing!”
You stopped, raising your posture. You turned your head over your shoulder. Genji was a mask of cool non emotion as always. Moira was grinning. Cole was staring at you, an expression you’d have bet was mirrored on your own face, comforting - if just slightly, in its solidarity. But that comfort, little as it was, only lasted long enough to cast your eyes to your commander. You’d only ever seen Reyes this mad once before, several hours earlier. And after what he’d done to endanger your mission, your organization, and your lives tonight, he had the audacity to be angry with you?
Oh no. That ain’t gonna fly.
“Don’t fucking talk to me!” you shouted, “Not tonight!”
It was all you could manage to say through the twisting mass of emotions rioting within. Some things are beyond words.
You turned on your heel and marched out of the room, accidentally shoulder checking Ana, as you went. She looked you in the eyes, took in your expression, and let you go without another word. You heard the jangle of spurs and continued shouting, but were already gone.
It didn’t take Cole long to find you if you didn’t count the debriefing and shouting match that proceeded it.
He knew your favorite spot. The one on the roof overlooking the water. The spot only he’d ever seemed to be able to find you in.
It had been an annoyance at first. This hot shot cowboy who had been a thorn in your side since that sting operation you’d done on Route 66. He’d been all charming smile and witty comments since you’d pinned him to the dusty ground and handcuffed him. It was even more annoying when he’d joined Blackwatch. Especially since against your will, it had begun to work. He’d nicknamed you Snowy before on account of his “having to melt you down.” The nickname had dropped off with the apparent thawing of your heart to him. You pretended to be annoyed every time he brought it up now.
He’d found you on your roof top, tossing rocks as far and as hard as you could out into the darkened Straight of Gibraltar.
“Come here often?”
“Shut up cowboy, or you’ll be my next target.”
Cole slowly sat down beside you at a distance he knew you’d be comfortable with. “If that’s what you needed I’d be happy to oblige.”
“Right, and damage your pretty face?” You asked sarcastically as you threw another heater out into the night.
“You think I’m pretty?”
You rolled your eyes, but turned to him, abandoning your assembled rocks. “Asshole.”
“I’m offended, darlin’! I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean!”
He held his arms open to you. You glanced at him in the dark, up at the starlit sky and then back again.
“It just ‘cause it’s cold,” you said, shifting into his offered arms.
“‘Course it is, sugar,” he said, knowing you probably needed something sweet right about now. He rubbed your arm soothingly.
“Ugh,” you threw an arm over your face, “I am so fired. Court marshaled for sure.”
“If your little spat is enough to get you fired, sugar, I’d hate to see what they have planned for me. Don’t be surprised if you see Gabe with a swollen eye tomorrow.”
“You didn’t,” you said, looking up at him.
He tipped his hat to you before taking it off and setting it aside.
The two of you sat quietly, holding all of the emotions of this nightmare of a mission together. They weren’t as strong or heavy with time, quiet, and someone else to hold them with.
“Well, they’ll leave us alone for the rest of tonight, I’m sure, but this is likely far from over.”
Cole hummed unhappily, “wanna eat something at least? I don’t imagine they’ll let us sleep in much, much less eat breakfast before we’re in the trenches again.”
“Yeah,” you said. Cole stood and offered you a hand up. You didn’t know why, maybe it was the delirium of both lack of sleep and the absurdity of the last several hours, but you felt mischievous for a moment and asked, “spaghetti?”
Cole, still mortified from his unsuccessful stint as a fake waiter, said, “No.”
“Aww come on, I thought you were supposed to like that, don’t all cowboys like spaghetti?”
“Spaghetti western movies are terrible, and you know it!” he said and the two of you dissolve into laughter as you promise to make something other than pasta as long as he helps.
That night was the start of a lot of bad things for yourself and those you’d considered family, but you’d be lying if there hadn’t been little pockets of joy too.