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It should be hard to fall asleep knowing that tomorrow they’ll make for Tundratown and find the patent but it’s late and it has been an eventful day. Judy had fallen asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow and Pawbert could see Gary yawn as well.
“You know it gets pretty cold at night here”, he said, holding the collar of his jumper open as an offer.
Gary’s face lit up and he happily slithered inside, wrapping himself around Pawbert’s torso with his head sticking out of the collar.
“I’m so glad you opened my letter”, he said and not for the first time. Gary’s gratitude felt like balm and not for the first time Pawbert reminded himself that there was more at stake.
“Yeah, the rest of my family wouldn’t have answered I guess.” He tried to shrug it off, wondering if Kitty or Cattrick knew about the truth behind the diary, if their father had told them even if he hadn’t told Pawbert.
“I don’t think your father knows about the diary”, Gary said suddenly.
“What do you mean?” Pawbert stiffended. Of course his father knew, didn’t he?
“When we were at the gala, he said that the diary was important to me so it had to be dangerous to him and that’s why he wanted it destroyed.”
Pawbert thought about it. Ebenezer had thought he had gotten away with everything. It made sense that he had never told a soul about it, the more people knew a secret the more likely it got out. But if his father didn’t know about the original parent by Agnes, would he believe Pawbert when he brought it to him?
“Maybe if we can talk to your father, he’ll understand.” Gary’s optimism was refreshing if misplaced. Sunda had to be a much nicer place where people liked each other.
“He won’t”, PAwbert replied with utter conviction. “Whatever could slight the Lynxley reputation gets removed.” Like me, he didn’t add. Tomorrow that would change. Tomorrow he would prove to his father that he was able to uphold the family name just like Kitty and Cattrick.
“I’m sorry”, Gary said, sounding genuinely mournful that Pawbert’s father was like that. The way he was talking about his family, they had to be very different. “But whatever happens tomorrow, I’m glad we met.”
“Even if we fail?” Pawbert asked with a note of bitterness. If he failed tomorrow he would have nothing. That wasn’t an option.
“Even then”, Gary replied lightly. He stretched a little so that they were face to face. He was so alien and beautiful, it made Pawbert’s insides squeeze in a way that had nothing and everything to do with Gary being wrapped around him. “I was, uhm, wondering…if we don’t find the patent and my family can’t come back to Zootopia, would you come and visit me in Sunda?”
“You…you want me to go to Sunda with you? Even if we fail?” Pawbert stared at him, not sure he understood what Gary was asking.
“Of course! You’re the first mammal who believed me and you’re my best warm-blooded friend. That won’t change, even if we don’t find the patent.” Gary looked at him with those big, trusting eyes. “Though maybe you won’t like Sunda. It’s very warm and humid.”
Gary was right, that did sound less than ideal but Pawbert shrugged. “If you can endure seven days in a box I can deal with Sunda weather.”
“My family will love you!” Gary declared and for a moment Pawbert envisioned a future where he could meet Gary’s family, where tomorrow wouldn’t end badly for him. Was it too much to ask to have his father’s approval and Gary’s?
Pawbert laughed softly as Gary headbutted him gently before curling up on his chest, the smooth scales feeling more than more like they belonged around him.
/
He turned. Pawbert wasn’t sure why he turned but it seemed important to put his body between Gary and the police pursuing them. The dart pierced through his jumper and fur and he felt nothing more than a pin prick. If he hadn’t seen it, he probably wouldn’t have noticed it at all.
There was a sharp, burning sensation around the puncture wound and he heard Judy’s horrified gasp even if he didn’t understand why. Getting hit by a tranquillising dart fucked over his plan but not hers, not Gary's. They didn’t need him. No one needed him.
Gary grabbed the dart and pulled it out and gasped as well. Only then Pawbert saw it too. The skull and crossed bones. A lethal round. So his father had gotten to the police and given a kill order. He grimaced. Maybe he should’ve told his father about his plan but then his father would’ve sent Kitty or Cattrick. Not him. Never him. He was a disgrace to be hidden away.
Suddenly there was a car, and Judy’s fox partner and a lot of yelling. Someone yanked him through a door and he felt the sand give way for the coolness of the metal floors. His chest felt numb and it was getting harder and harder to breathe and not because Gary was wrapped around him. Gary should always be wrapped around him. He wouldn’t feel so alone then.
Why couldn’t have Ebenezer shared the fame and fortune for the very walls they were inside now? He and Gary could’ve met like normal animals and none of this would’ve needed to happen. Why was nothing and no one ever good enough for this family?
Something pierced through the numbness in his chest, much, much more painful than the dart had been. Pawbert jumped up taking a few deep, shuddering breaths as the pain dissipated and with it the numbness.
He could breathe again. He could breathe!
Three pairs of eyes stared at him and he stared right back.
“What happened?” He asked weakly. Breathing had never felt so sweet.
“You were hit by a lethal round”, Judy explained, “but luckily it’s similar enough to Gary’s venom that his anti-venom worked.”
Pawbert found Gary’s eyes who was smiling shyly. “You saved me.”
“You saved me first”, Gary protested. “That round would’ve hit me if you hadn’t turned. Please don’t do that again. I was really scared”, he added in a small voice. “Can I hug you?”
Pawbert smiled, holding his arms open. A wide grin split Gary’s face and then practically launched himself at Pawbert. It felt good to hold him, warm scales sliding against his fur, the pressure of Gary’s body wrapped around his.
“They shouldn’t have used lethal rounds”, he heard Judy say. “They’re for life-or-death emergencies only.”
“And we all know that cops never break a law”, Nick drawled in response.
Did his father know that Pawbert was helping Gary? Probably. His father knew everything and he had still given the kill order. He didn’t care if Pawbert lived or died but he could still change that.
“We should go”, Judy said. “They can’t follow us while the heat generators are running but that won’t last forever. Oh, by the way, Nick, these are Pawbert and Gary.”
They both waved at the fox who looked at them sceptically.
On the way up Judy filled in Nick about the things that had happened, and the whole conspiracy. Pawbert was carrying Gary on his shoulders, the further they went away from the heat shields, the colder it got.
Originally Pawbert had planned to get rid of Judy and Gary here. He only needed to know where the clock tower was, the rest he could do himself but now that Nick was here, everything was more complicated. His great-grandfather’s plan to get rid of Agnes had been flawless. If Pawbert could pull it off, too, he would show that he was a true Lynxley.
“It’ll be cold”, he said to Gary and held his collar open just like he had last night and Gary slithered inside, coiling around him.
“Comfortable?” Pawbert asked. He knew he was. Gary had become a comfortable weight, his scales sliding through and around his fur like they belonged there.
“You are very warm”, Gary said and it sounded almost like a purr.
/
They managed to find a snow mobile, all of them squeezing onto it to make it through the still running snow engines. At least while they were running they were safe from the police because it meant the heat blasters on the other side of the walls were running too.
The beaver had offered to stay behind and hold them off but Pawbert wasn’t sure how much use she would be against them, but it wouldn’t be the first surprise today.
“I’m so excited!” Gary said, circling around Pawbert’s torso. “To see our old home.”
“It’s been under the snow for a long time”, Pawbert cautioned. Maybe there was nothing left. Maybe that would be for the best.
“It’ll still be nice to see it”, Gary replied. “And if we don’t find that patent, we’ll just take that ship back to Sunda.”
We. Gary said it so easily. We’ll do this. We’ll do that. We’re partners. We’re going to Sunda. Pawbert’s heart squeezed painfully in his chest. He needed to remember his goal. If he could only get that patent then his father would see his true worth.
“Already taking him home to meet the family”, Nick winked at them over his shoulder. Despite the snow and the wind chill, Pawbert could feel his cheeks heat up.
“Of course, Pawbert already is my family”, Gary declared, seemingly missing the innuendo. “It makes sense he’ll meet the other side of it.”
“That’s, uhm, never mind”, Nick replied and turned back to Judy who was driving faster than Pawbert would’ve guessed these things could go.
Too soon they arrived at the clock tower, nearly buried in snow and opened the door. For a hundred years no one had been here. The stairs creaked dangerously under their feet and the snow muffled the noise from the outside.
Pawbert felt his hairs stand. This was a trap. The police with their kill order behind them and the patent somewhere below. There was no way out. Not for him. He had to succeed here or die with the rest of them.
Gary slid out from his jumper and Pawbert felt the loss like a balloon left to float into the open sky with no way to change direction or come back down safely. This was it. His hand curled around the venom injector in his pocket. They’d be distracted while searching for the patent. He would take out Nick first, then Judy or maybe the other way around. And then he’d toss Gary into the snow.
It would be quick, he tried to tell himself. Both the poison and the hypothermia. A few minutes of suffering, nothing more. Unbidden he remembered picking up Gary from the snow in front of the mansion. How cold and small he had felt. How he had curled around Pawbert to warm up.
“It looks almost like our house back in Sunda”, Gary told him, looking around in wonder.
“Yeah?” Pawbert asked, distracted. Was there noise outside? Had the police found them?
“A little bit colder”, Gary joked, waiting for Pawbert to respond. When he failed to, Gary’s expression changed to worry. “Are you okay?”
“I – “ Pawbert wanted to laugh. Of course he wasn’t okay. Nothing was ever going to be okay again. He was either going to lose his life here or the only friend he ever had and he didn’t want to do either.
“I found it!” Judy yelled from the other room.
No. No. No. Nonononono. No.
With a last worried look in his direction, Gary slithered through the door towards here. From somewhere else in the house Nick was joining them.
Pawbert put one foot in front of the other. It was as if they were made of lead.
The three of them were crouched over what had to be the original patent. Pawbert’s hand tightened around the injector. They were distracted, it would be easy. Nick first, then Judy. No, maybe Judy first. Then Nick. And then…and then…
Gary’s scales had been like ice after the mansion. He had been miserable and not just because they had failed to get the diary. The snow had been so cold it had felt hot, he had told Pawbert later. Pain so intense hot and cold had become the same.
Perhaps the anti venom had failed because the weight on his chest was back, that invisble band squeezing his heart and lungs and making it impossible to breathe.
“Pawbert, look!” Gary was so happy he was practically glowing, radiant really. “We found it. Now my family can come back. We can all live here together.”
Now, he had to do it now.
“Pawbert?” The radiance dimmed and Gary slithered closer, concern marring his happiness. Concern for him.
Now. There was no time left. It had to be now.
The door above them slammed open. They all startled and instinctively Pawbert placed his arm in front of Gary.
“I’ll protect you this time”, Gary said, wrapping himself around Pawbert’s outstretched arm. “We don’t have any antivenom left.”
Before Pawbert could say anything, a harsh voice came from above: “Hopps? Wilde? I’m giving you one chance to explain why Milton fucking Lynxley wants you, his son and that snake dead.”
“I’ll go and talk to her”, Judy said, squeezing Nick’s hand while smiling encouragingly at Gary and Pawbert. “It’ll be okay.”
Nick looked like he wanted to protest but he didn’t. This was his last chance. If the police wasn’t going to kill them on sight anymore then he could still turn this situation around. Except that his father did want him dead and that knowledge nailed him to the spot like nails through his feet.
Even if he came out with the truth now, his father would never listen to him, never believe him.
Cool scales swiped across his cheek and only now he realised that he was crying. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Can I hug you?” Pawbert asked, unable to stop the tears. He wasn’t even sure why he was crying.
Gary didn’t need to be asked twice, curling around him more tightly than ever before. He was cooler than he should be if not as cold as after the mansion. Even though it was indoors they were still in Tundratown and this place had no heating.
“You shouldn’t have stayed on the ground so much, it’s too cold here.”
Gary laughed softly and only curled around him even more tightly. More tears came because he had almost…he had…
Pawbert hastily wiped the tears away when steps started to come down the stairs. Gary didn’t move, sitting around his shoulders like a cape as Judy returned with Hogbottom.
“So you’re the snake who bit the Chief”, she said, glaring at Gary. Then her gaze went to Pawbert. “And you’re not dead, however you managed that.”
Gary looked like he was about to explain so Pawbert talked over him. “Luckily for you, Captain, or you’d have to get rid of my corpse for my father.”
“For what it’s worth, I didn’t mean to fire but I shouldn’t have put that round in, in the first place.” She admitted with some contrition. “Hopps explained the situation to me. I’ll get you out of Tundratown and make sure the entire 1st precinct stands between you and the Lynxeleys until we can arrest them.”
“You’ll need the mayor for that and he’s in my father’s pocket”, Pawbert replied. “They all are.”
“Not the first time we arrested a mayor”, Hogbottom replied with a fond look at Judy and Nick.
“Besides, trying to murder his son for uncovering an age old cover up perpetrated by his own family? Even if the police cannot prove anything, the press will eat it up”, Nick added with a grin.
This was it. If he went through with this, he could never be a part of his family. His deception had worked too well, they truly thought he wasn’t one of them, that he’d chosen these animals around him over his father and siblings.
Gary was a comforting weight around his shoulders and from the corners of his eyes, Pawbert could feel him looking at him. “I think”, he said slowly, “I can help with that.”
/
Once the story broke, it wasn’t just the corruption charges brought by the police and the mayor. Other victims of his family were coming forward, exposing the nasty underbelly of his father’s work.
Being celebrated as one of the heroes who had exposed all of this and the hundred year old conspiracy about the true inventor of the weather walls felt good but strange and Pawbert wasn’t sure if it was worth it. He had started all of this to help his family, to become part of them and not alienate them further.
However with his father and siblings imprisoned, he was the head of the family now, he made the decisions and that was not something he had ever expected. It was daunting. No one had ever prepared him or expected anything of him and now the company, the court case, the reckoning with his family’s past, all of that fell to him.
He visited his family in prison once and while his siblings had berated him as he had expected, his father had barely glanced at him before demanding to return to his cell. It had hurt worse than any of the insults Kitty and Cattrick had hurled at him. He had hidden in his little oassis for days after that, letting letters, calls and any urgent business pile up at the empty mansion in Tundratown.
“Partner?” It was Gary’s voice, coming from the tent’s entrance.
Pawbert held his breath. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to see Gary. He might end up yelling at him that this was all his fault even if it wasn’t. It was him who had hatched this harebrained plot and failed spectacularly. It was his own fault that his family hated him more than ever. That his father refused to even look at him.
“I haven’t seen you for a few days. How’re you doing?” Gary asked, closer now. Maybe if he stayed completely still, hidden in the box of his cat tree, Gary would think he wasn’t here and leave again. It’d be better if he left. Pawbert had almost killed him. Left him to freeze to death after framing him for murder, no better than his ancestor, worse than his father even. An all around failure both as a Lynxley and as Gary’s friend. Could he even call himself that since he had planned to betray him from the beginning?
“There you are.” Gary’s face appeared in the opening, looking relieved to see him.
“How did you know I was here?” Pawbert asked, slurring his words. Gary shouldn’t be here. He surely had better things to do.
“I can see heat and you’re very warm.” And of course Pawbert had forgotten about that even though it had been the whole reason they had stolen the diary in the first place. “Can I come in?”
“Sure.”
Gary slithered inside, covering him in loose coils. Part of him had missed that familiar weight surrounding him.
Ridiculous, they’ve only known each other for a couple weeks. Gary’s presence in his life shouldn’t mean this much, not compared to his family.
“What happened?” Gary asked. In the semi darkness of the box and the tent, he had lost his rich blue colour and was merely grey. Everything was grey these days.
“I went to see them.”
“Oh.”
“Kitty and Cattrick hate me, that’s okay, they’ve always done that, but my dad, he…I wished he hated me. Maybe then he would look at me.” He was easy to hate, Pawbert knew that, his brother and sister had done it all their lives and he had thought their father did too but now…
“They’re angry because you did the right thing and they don’t understand why. They don’t understand you, because you’re different.”
“I’ve been different all my life and I’m so tired of it. I just want to be like them.” A sob tore from his chest.
“I’m glad you’re different or we wouldn’t have met.”
And if they hadn’t met, where would he then? Still working in the mailroom, slinking home to avoid his brother and sister, trying to think of a way to win his father’s approval. Hiding in this tent when it all became too much. Had that been all that there was to his life?
“I was so scared, when you almost died. I didn’t think your father would do that.”
His father had tried to kill him, he should think about that more often.
“Judy and Nick said my father tried to have you killed at the mansion”, Pawbert reminded him. Before he had even known why Gary wanted the diary. Just because he had inconveniced him.
“Sure, but I’m a snake and I had just taken him hostage and tried to steal from him.” Gary replied. “You’re his son.”
“He has a better son. And a better daughter. My father never needed or wanted me.” Maybe his father should’ve drowned him as a kitten, it’d have meant less diappointment for the family.
“I needed you”, Gary insisted. “You were the first one who believed me. You brought me here. You helped me. Without you none of this would’ve worked and now that it has, I want you. I want you in my life, as my friend, as…” He stopped abruptly.
“I almost got you killed.” Gary didn’t even know how close Pawbert had come to betraying him, to leaving him to die.
“You almost died for me”, Gary argued back.
“That was an accident.” If he had died Gary, Judy and Nick would’ve still succeeded in finding Agnes’ original patent. Nothing would’ve changed except that he wouldn’t feel like this. “You heard the captain, she hadn’t meant to shoot us.”
“That’s not what I meant. You turned. You turned towards her and put yourself between me and the dart.”
Pawbert wanted to argue with that but he had done it, hadn’t he? He didn’t remember why, or if he had thought anything at all in that moment but he had done it.
“All cats turn towards noise”, he finally came up with as an explanation. “it’s an old hunting instinct.”
Gary made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat but didn’t argue with him. “Do you want to come outside?” He asked instead.
Did he? The last couple of days the answer had been no but with Gary here the outside of his box seemed more bearable.
Pawbert nodded.
The tent was only slightly less dark than the box, he hadn’t bothered tending to the lights since he had arrived and so they had all burned down.
His stomach growled.
“Did you eat?” Gary asked, looking around. “You had snacks here last time, didn’t you?”
“I’m fine.” He had eaten all of them on the first day until he had felt sick and nothing since.
“You don’t look fine.”
No, he probably looked like a mess. More than usual anyway. He had never been as elegant as Kitty or as charming as Cattrick and certainly not as domineering as their father.
“How did you make it here?” He asked. His voice sounded rough to his own ears.
“Hitched a ride from a very nice camel”, Gary replied. “And then I made it the rest of the way on my own.”
“You remembered the way?” Pawbert was impressed. Gary hadn’t even seen the road when they had last been here.
“I asked around a lot”; Gary admitted with a gesture that Pawbert had come to think of as a shrug. “And then when I was close enough I could smell you.”
He hadn’t groomed himself in days either. His fur had to be a complete mess. Plenty of animals could probably smell him ten miles against the wind.
The heat outside was less oppressive than inside. A light wind was swirling some sand and it was already late afternoon. Sahara Square was the least inhabited of all of of Zootopia’s districts. The emptiness was why he liked it. That and it was the very opposite of Tundratown.
“Does Sunda look like this?” Pawbert asked, letting his gaze roam across the horizon.
“Sunda?” Gary seemed surprised by the question. “No, not at all. It’s more like the rainforest district.”
“I – “, Pawbert looked at him, “Really?”
Gary nodded. “Sunda is a jungle archipelago. We live in the trees, well my family does. Others don’t.”
“Is it nice?” It had to be to turn out someone like Gary.
“I like it”, Gary said. “But everyone’s always talking about Zootopia and how amazing it is and they’re right. Even if I think they left some things out.”
Wasn’t that the truth? Pawbert smiled grimly. “I don’t have my scooter.”
“Oh, that’s alright. We can walk, can’t we?”
Pawbert extended his arm and Gary slithered up and settled around his shoulders with a happy hiss. “Tell me about Sunda?”
“Of course.”
/
It got better. Bit by bit, day by day. It helped that for the first time in his life, he was busy, actually busy and making decisions regarding the family business and how to make reparations towards the DeSnake family and reptiles in general.
He didn’t visit his family again. Beyond hiring some of the best lawyers in Zootopia, Pawbert kept far away from the court proceedings. He had moved out of the mansion, too, and instead gotten a flat in Savanna Central, same as Gary.
The old Reptile Ravine in Tundratown had been buried under the snow for too long to be habitable again but Gary and the reptile community of Marsh was talking to the city council and the mayor how to make parts of Sahara Sqaure and the Rainforest District into living areas for them with the reparations from the Lynxley Corporation.
It was nice to work with Gary on the reparations project, like they had when planning how to steal the diary. Aside from the living spaces for the reptiles, they talked about turning the clock tower into a museum and about Agnes and her climate walls and the vision she had for Zootopia.
“My family said they’re coming to Zootopia soon”, Gary told him as they were sitting on his balcony. It had become a habit to meet in the evenings and talk about their days.
Pawbert wished it could always be like this. Sharing a drink with Gary while watching the sun set over the city. Nothing he had ever experienced compared to it.
“They must be very proud of you.” It still hurt to think of his family but the pain had lessened with him. Maybe if he never saw them again it would stop eventually.
“They’re very surprised that the diary and the patent was real after all and that we managed to find them”, Gary said fondly. “They’re very very excited to meet you, too.”
“Meet…me?” Pawbert asked slowly. “You told them about me?”
“Of course! You’re my partner and without you, I wouldn’t have succeeded. I told them all about you.” Gary looked very excited at the prospect of introducing Pawbert to his family while he felt nothing but anxiety.
“I never met anyone’s parents before.” What if they hated him? What if they decided he wasn’t good enough to be Gary’s friend? “Makes it sound like we’re dating, doesn’t it?”
He had meant it as a joke because that’s what animals in romantic movies did, meet each other’s parents when things got serious and, welll, Gary had already met his.
“I’d like that”, Gary replied in a soft voice. He wasn’t looking at Pawbert, merely watching the sun sink into the horizon while Pawbert stared at him with wide eyes.
“What?” He asked just to make sure that he had heard Gary correctly.
“I’d like to date you”, Gary turned to him, still using that soft voice. “I know I’m a snake and I’m the reason your family doesn’t like you anymore but – “
“I can’t imagine my life without you anymore”, Pawbert blurted out and immediately slapped his paws over his mouth.
Gary’s eyes lit up. “So you don’t mind – “
“My family hated me long before we met”, Pawbert didn’t let him finish. He felt nervous but in a good way. “And I like that you’re a snake. Your scales feel very nice when you wrap around me.” His face was hot, his heart raced in his chest and his paws were sweaty.
“I like how soft your fur is”, Gary replied, coming closer. His eyes were staring directly into Pawbert’s and it felt like he couldn’t move. Ensnared like prey. “And how warm you are.”
“Do…do you snakes kiss?” Pawbert managed to ask, his throat as dry as Sahara Square.
“We do. And cats?”
He managed to nod, too nervous to speak.
“Should we try?”
“Please.” He whimpered, pathetic like the runt he – the voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like this his father, cut off abruptly when Gary’s lips met his.
He had been kissed before, a few times, but nothing could compare to this. Now he really wanted to stop time right and now and live in this moment forever.
It did end though the warm feeling that had been spreading through his chest didn’t stop. The world hadn’t stopped even though it had felt like it should have. Instead the sun was still sinking in the horizon, Zootopia was going about its business and if he wanted to, he could kiss Gary again.
He wanted to.
“I’m glad I found your letter, partner”, Pawbert told him and for the first time he meant it wholeheartedly.
Gary grinned and leaned their forehead together. “Me, too.”