Chapter Text
New chat created by .
added User 1.
added User 2.
added User 3.
added User 4.
left chat.
User 1: Oh hello
User 1: Is this a virus thing like that app
User 1: Can we fast forward to the bit where you ransom my personal data because I’ve got ✨shit to dooooo✨
User 1: Can’t leave it either apparently
User 2: hi?
User 1: Hi possible scammer
User 2: I’m not a scammer!
User 2: this group just appeared on my messenger and I can’t leave either!
User 1: Well it’s nice to meet you, fellow victim
User 1: Quick question: Do you have an app that looks like a red eye with black and red spikes around it and a star in the middle
User 2: no?
User 1: Hm. Suspicious. Why is there a question mark
User 2: because I’m suddenly not sure???
User 2: gimme a sec to check.
User 2: no! exclamation point!
User 2: I’m pleased to report that there is no weird eye app on my scroll!
User 1: Okay so that’s just me
User 1: Scroll? is that a kind of phone?
User 2: uh. yeah? a portable mini computer that you can chat and use apps and make calls with. a scroll.
User 1: You mean a mobile phone?!
User 2: who calls it a “mobile phone”?
User 2: it’s a scroll.
User 4: You mean a fone.
User 2: a what
User 1: Wow that’s even worse 🫠
User 1: Okay so as funny as this is, my stop is coming up so I’ll need to try and not get lost in a city I’ve never been to
User 1: SEE YA o7
User 4: See ya.
User 2: oh
User 2: bye! talk to you guys soon?
User 2: or not
[ ]
User 3: Hello.
User 3: I know this is a weird question, but it’s important for me to know.
User 3: When are you guys from?
User 2: uh. do you mean where?
User 3: No.
User 3: When.
User 1: April 10th 2016
User 4: 2505
User 2: 80AGW?
User 1: What
User 2: what???
User 4: This is ridiculous.
User 3: So a lot of things have just gotten a lot more complicated.
User 2: what do you mean 2 THOUSAND? 2 thousand AGW?! Are you from 2000 years in the future? IS THIS A TIME TRAVELLING GROUP CHAT
User 1: To answer that I have to ask a question first: what does AGW mean
User 2: ???? AFTER THE GREAT WAR?! as in after the biggest war Remnant has ever seen?! How do you not knOW THAT
User 1: To answer that I have to ask a question first: what is a “Remnant"
User 2: our? planet? what is going on?!
User 1: Bad news, fellow victim! I’m from a planet called Earth so I have no idea what you are talking about!
User 2: this is hurting my heeaaaaaaad
User 2: 3 and 4! please tell me you’re from remnant!
User 4: No dice.
User 4: Not from Earth but I know of it.
User 4: No idea where Remnant is supposed to be. What system are you in?
User 1: Oooh you’re from space? Interesting!
User 2: YOU TRAVELLED TO SPACE?!
User 3: I’m not from Earth, but I’m still in the same system.
User 4: So are you going to tell us “when” you are from?
User 3: That’s difficult to answer, but some thousands of years after you.
User 3: Or, more likely, in another timeline AND thousands of years later, seeing as we only ever went to one other star system and not exactly for long.
User 3: Question for 1 and 4: Does the term “Techrot” mean anything to you? Or “Testudo Syndrome” or “Technocyte Virus”? Or, for 4 especially, the term “Radiation Wars”?
User 1: WOW JUST DROP THAT IN HERE AS IF IT’S NOT FUCKING TERRIFYING
User 4: None of it.
User 1: Thankfully none of it? Should I be scared?!
User 3: If you don’t know about them, then no. The Techrot should have already been global news in 2016, so it probably does not exist in your version of events.
User 1: Well?! Thank fuck?!
User 2: so we’re all from different timelines or something?
User 3: Different timelines, realities, universes. Whatever you want to call it.
User 1: Okay, I’m calling it quits here
User 1: This day has been really weird and have my first day at my new school tomorrow so I’m going to bed now. Bye!
User 2: oh saaaaaammmmme
User 2: I go to Beacon Academy tomorrow and I don’t know if I’ll be able to get enough sleep after this
User 2: good night
User 3: Likewise.
[ ]
User 1: Guess who got trapped in a horrible nightmare dimension today probably based on my new volleyball teacher’s innermost desires where my new school is a castle with him as its king and he runs around in nothing but a royal cloak, a crown and a speedo with pink hearts on it because he’s apparently a sex pest irl
User 1: It’s ✨ MEEEE 🤗✨
User 2: what???? are you alright?!?!
User 1: Sure I’m completely fine and dandy
User 1: I awakened superpowers and became a magic warrior along with the talking cat from the castle dungeons and the delinquent I met on my way to school
User 1: And all that took like half the day which means I missed a lot of school and am now this 👌close to going back to juvie 🫠
User 2: what’s “juvie”?
User 4: That’s really your first question?
User 1: Juvenile Detention
User 1: Yes I am an evil crime boy
User 1: and I would like to stay out of jail until I’m at least an evil crime man so it’s nOT IDEAL
User 2: you’re a criminal?!
User 1: Yeah
User 1: Assault charge
User 1: Some bald drunk guy tried to force a woman in his car
User 1: I stepped in
User 1: He tried to punch me
User 1: Tripped and fell down and hit his head
User 1: Turns out he’s rich and powerful or something so the police took his word
User 1: And the woman was scared enough to go along with it
User 1: So now I’m on probation and I live in a fucking attic and everyone hates me
User 2: I’m sorry
User 2: I didn’t know
User 2: that’s so horrible! what a jerk!
User 1: Yeah well
User 1: Cruel world
User 1: Any other criminals in the chat?
User 3: It’s not a crime if you’re in the military.
User 4: Agreed.
User 1: Interesting, interesting, two soldiers in this chat, what a coincidence
User 1: So hold on, how old is everyone anyway
User 1: I’m 17, young and sweet
User 1: 2 is not yet wise to the horrors of this world. A mere child! 12 years old perhaps?
User 2: no! I’m 15!
User 1: So a child like I said.
User 1: 3 and 4 type like grandparents and are apparently gainfully employed as hired guns of the government so I’m guessing somewhere in the 60 to 100 range
User 4: 32, actually. Brat.
User 4: And I’m not in the military anymore.
User 1: Ooooh I smell a story there
User 4: Got left for dead, some shit happened and I’m now working on killing my former boss because he’s a tyrannical dictator.
User 1: Valid
User 3: Oh yeah, we killed our tyrannical dictators too. Don’t listen to the naysayers, regicide is absolutely a worthy goal.
User 1: Impressive accomplishment, if a bit disturbing. So how old are you?
User 3: 16 going on a few thousand
User 1: ⁉️
User 3: Superpowers and cryosleep make “age” and “time” a bit complicated. Biologically I’m around 16, but I don’t know if I really age anymore, and I spent a lot of time asleep.
User 3: And while I was asleep I spent some time remotely piloting a biomechanical war machine with my dreaming mind.
User 1: You know you’re all not really getting a lot of points in the “believable” department
User 3: Fair enough. I guess that’s all very far fetched for you.
User 3: So how was the nightmare dimension with the sex pest teacher?
User 1: …
User 1: (￣▽￣)” okay fair point
User 3: Oh no, that wasn’t supposed to be a gotcha. Your story isn’t even out of the ordinary for me.
User 3: For example, there was the time where I was in the mindspace of an AI because my grandfather tried to take her over and I had to play music to get him out of her.
User 2: your grandfather?!
User 3: He’s adopted.
User 3: Oh, I forgot to ask: How is your new school, 2?
User 1: Yeah let’s hope your day went better than mine
User 1: By the time I got to school the rumor mill was already in full swing
User 1: Everybody knows about my crime boy status so my chances of making friends are slim to none aside from delinquent boy
User 2: oh I’m sorry to hear that
User 1: It’s fine, I’m used to it by now
User 2: I don’t have many friends either but that’s mostly because I’m super awkward and got pulled ahead 2 years to go to Beacon
User 2: and my sister ditched me to go hang out with her friends
User 2: and I bumped into the literal richest girl in the world and accidentally literally exploded in her face so she hates me
User 2: but I met this fun guy who vomited on the airship and turned out to be super friendly and dorky and has this cool sword
User 2: and then Headmaster Ozpin made a really weird speech about how we’re all wasted energy or something
User 2: now I’m in bed and can’t sleep and I’m waiting for tomorrow for the initiation test
User 2: and then hopefully I’ll be a huntress in training
User 2: so yeah
User 2: that was my day
User 1: Well damn that is one hell of a day
User 1: Is your vomit boy blond?
User 2: haha vomit boy
User 2: and yeah he is
User 1: My delinquent boy is blond too
User 1: To exploding and making awkward blond friends on first days at school 🥂
User 2: hehe yeah
User 2: to blond friends 🥛
User 1: Oooh good call
User 1: Drink your milk so you become big and strong and ace your test
User 2: that’s the plan!
User 1: Good luck, 2! Sleep well!
User 3: Good luck on your test, 2.
User 4: Good luck.
User 2: thanks guys 🤗
User 2: good night
User 1: Welp time for me to hit the hay too
User 3: Will you be alright tomorrow?
User 1: Wh
User 1: Uh
User 1: Are you referring to real school or pervert castle
User 1: Either way I’ll probably be okay
User 1: Got a blond boy and a magic cat on my side, I’ll be fine
User 3: That’s good to know.
User 3: Good night, then.
User 1: G’night
[ ]
User 2: fellow people in this chat, be honored, for today you bask in the presence of Ruby Rose, official huntress-in-training and chosen leader of Team RWBY! 🎉🎉
User 2: and I almost died only twice during initiation!
User 2: and only one of my team members obviously wants to murder me and take my spot!
User 2: jury’s still out on one of the others!
User 2: and you can just call me ruby, because that whole paragraph is too long
User 1: Congrats! I have no idea what a huntress in training does or what a team leader has to do but I’m happy for you!
User 1: And very concerned about the almost dying and murdering!
User 3: Congratulations, 2.
User 4: Congrats.
User 2: thank youuu 🤗
User 2: and I’m mostly kidding about the dying and murdering
User 2: and uh do you guys have Grimm where or when you are?
User 1: Let’s say no, for sake of argument
User 2: so basically Grimm are monsters made of darkness and they are drawn to human emotions, especially negative emotions, and their only purpose is destruction
User 2: so we huntsmen and huntresses go out and defeat the Grimm and protect humanity!
User 2: also some huntsmen help the police with dangerous criminals, especially those who have unlocked auras and semblances
User 2: uh. aura is when you project your soul outward to protect yourself and a semblance is when that soul gains a superpower
User 2: basically
User 1: Thanks, I was about to ask
User 1: Also I was in the nightmare world again
User 1: Apparently when I project my soul outward it takes the form of a demon based on a gentleman thief from a famous book that curses people
User 1: And when my personal blond boy does it his is a skeleton pirate on a flying boat
User 2: ???
User 1: Yeah we don’t really have superpowers ourselves (unless being incredibly stylish is a superpower)
User 1: We just summon giant ghosts
User 1: The magic cat who isn’t a cat (or so he says) can summon one too
User 1: And in this cognitive world we fight monsters from pop culture and mythology who have come from the Sea of Souls and I can convince them to join me at gunpoint
User 1: I also almost died twice for those powers so heyyyyy welcome to the club
User 2: man my only power is going fast
User 1: That’s a really cool power too!
User 2: what kinda gun do you have
User 1: Blond boy
User 1: Fuck it, Ryuji, my best friend and brightest light in this new life, brought a fake gun to school because he thought I might be able to bluff and intimidate the monsters with it
User 1: But because the world we go to is based on perception and cognition, if the monsters believe it’s real, it becomes real, so now I have a pistol that actually works in the cognitive world
User 2: oh
User 2: that’s cool
User 1: Are you disappointed that I don’t have a real gun
User 2: what no of course not
User 1: Are you a gun nut
User 2: mmmmmmaybe
User 1: If you fight monsters that means you have a gun
User 2: I actually have a mechashift war scythe with an integrated sniper rifle
User 2: her name is Crescent Rose
User 1: Ooooooh that sounds awesome
User 2: I use Wind Dust bullets to increase the recoil in order to propel myself, which makes me really fast when I combine it with my semblance which is Petal Burst
User 1: And then you hack monsters to pieces with your scythe while going really fast
User 1: That’s badass
User 2: thank you 🤗
User 1: Doooo… 3 and 4 also have guns? Or cool weapons?
User 1: Seeing as they are former soldiers
User 3: A few :)
User 4: A C20A canister rifle.
User 4: I’ve got in configured as a sniper rifle but there are assault rifle configurations.
User 4: I used to be a sniper so
User 4: Yeah.
User 2: sniper specialists are impressive
User 2: I don’t get many chances to really use the full range of my baby, I’m usually in close to mid range, but people who can wipe out targets at over a mile are
User 2: wow
User 4: We have this alien species called Zerg.
User 4: A swarm species with a hive mind that only cares about spreading and eating everything else.
User 4: Taking out some of their elites at ultra long range was really fun.
User 3: These Zerg sound like our Infestation.
User 3: The Technocyte virus I mentioned. It’s not an alien species, it’s a virus that infests and mutates organic matter and technology and turns it into Infested. Part of what I do is drive it back when it shows up in places.
User 4: Yeah the Zerg have a virus too that they use to infest people. Not technology as such, but they can infest the crew of vehicles and commandeer them that way.
User 3: I’ve fought so many Infested robots. So many. Even an entire Infested space ship.
User 2: how do you fight an entire space ship
User 3: An Archwing (basically a jetpack that works in space) and a big gun, then aim for the engines.
User 2: … how big
User 3: My favourite archgun is the Grattler. It’s basically four guns welded together in an X, each longer than a person, firing rapid fire explosive rounds into any group of enemies unlucky enough to be nearby.
User 3: But against the Jordas Golem, the Infested ship, I used the Velocitus. A portable railgun, firing a single magnetic projectile. It doesn’t shoot often, but it hits mucking hard. Haven’t met the shield or armor that can go up against that.
User 2: whoa
User 2: and you use those guns all the time? that’s so coooooool
User 3: Not all the time, no. Usually I use my normal weapons. But when I’m fighting in space, or something very big on the ground, I call in the heavy guns.
User 3: I have sniper rifles too. My favorite is the Rubico.
User 2: you and I are going to get along great
User 3: I think so too. Honestly, I would really like a sniper rifle scythe, that sounds incredible. You must be a very skilled fighter to be able to use a weapon like that.
User 3: No wonder you were chosen as your team’s leader.
User 2: yeah
User 2: sort of
User 2: anyway I’m gonna go to sleep, I’ve got my first real day at Beacon tomorrow and I don’t wanna be sleepy all day
User 1: I’m gonna hit the hay too
User 1: although I’ll probably spend most of the night wondering where to get a sniper rifle
User 1: I feel left out 〒▽〒
User 2: xD we’ll find one for you too, don’t worry
User 1: D’awww thanks, Ruby
User 1: Speaking of, I feel bad that I know your name but you don’t know mine
User 1: Ren Amamiya, at your service
User 3: You can call me Ayatan.
User 4: Sarah
User 2: it’s nice to meet all of you 😊
User 2: good night, everyone!
User 1: g’night
User 3: Good night.
User 4: Night